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tsurumiau · 1 month

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GOLDEN KAMUY x MARIO KART 8 DELUXE

a silly little post about what racer they'd choose if they played mario kart 8 deluxe (+ some headcanons)

SUGIMOTO

he'd 100% choose baby luigi . he thinks luigi is MUCH cooler than mario and he chose him as a baby because he thinks he'll go faster if tiny. he also always chooses the jet bike as the vehicle (what can i say it just looks like it goes very fast)

SHIRAISHI

HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY CHOOSE ROY . i mean look at his sunglasses he's clearly the coolest. shiraishi always gets the WORST items and when he finally gets a mushroom he ends up crashing against a wall or falling off the map

ASIRPA

king boo . she LOVES choosing king boo and screaming BOOOOOO SUGIMOTO IM GONNA EAT YOU when she's behind him (she really does it with everyone but sugimoto is the one who gets scared the most because he genuinely thinks king boo can eat other racers). she just loves feeling like a menace and hitting other racers all the time

OGATA

WHAT CAN I SAY they have the same black void eyes and i think ogata relates to him in a very deep way. ogata SUCKS at drifting but he throws bananas, bombs and green shells like a pro (doesn't matter if the other racer is behind or ahead of him)

TANIGAKI

tanooki mario because inkarmat told him tanooki mario reminds her of him. he always ends up being the last one because he absolutely SUCKS at mario kart

INKARMAT

100000% CAT PEACH . she's matching with tanigaki. she always drives extremely well and therefore ends up being one of the last ones with tanigaki (but theyre in the bottom 3 together)

KOITO

BABY PEACH . he thinks peach is an absolute GIRLBOSS and like sugimoto he thinks she'll go faster as a baby. he can NEVER win against ogata because ogata somehow always has shells or bananas or bombs and throws most of them at koito no matter if he's behind or ahead of ogata

TSUKISHIMA

toad . he didn't really know who to choose but koito INSISTED toad reminded him of toad and he thought choosing toad would be better than choosing the random option. he does NOT know what he's doing and tries to avoid the item boxes because he thinks they're obstacles for some reason. he sometimes ends up going THE OPPOSITE way but still manages to be in 11th place (just because tanigaki is worse)

TSURUMI

this man has his own mii (i made a mii just for him btw) . hes the kinda guy that has studied every object in the game and know how they all work and how to use them to win ... not a menace because hes a violent racer but because he just knows how to play

USHIYAMA

HE'S DEFINITELY DAISY . my man ushiyama chooses the prettiest girl and THAT'S DAISY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think he's a pretty average mario kart player but sometimes he stops the vehicle because he accidentally pushes the backwards button (his fingers are too big, he thinks someone threw him a mysterious item that somehow stops the vehicle and he doesn't even notice he's the one doing it)

HIJIKATA

he thinks THE GAME gave him the character and he can't change it (he seriously believes he's stuck with mario but no one tells him because they all think he chose mario himself). despite that he's surprisingly good, not because he's a good racer but because he always gets triple red shells and annoys everyone with them

NIKAIDOU

his brother played wario (he will bite ANYONE who tries to pick wario) . he screams WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH in every jump or gliding part. he goes feral when he gets a superstar and starts hitting all the people he can

KIRORANKE

YOSHI !!!!!!!!!!! ironically he SUCKS at throwing bombs and ends up hitting himself with them (he HATES when they're playing battle mode and it's Bob-omb Blast time). he's VERY bad at first but gets better after playing a few times if you ignore him hitting himself with his own items

WILK

DRY BONES . hes a silly guy and picks the silliest guy !!!! a pretty average player methinks ... definitely laughs at every single person that gets hit with a shell but gets mad when hes the one that gets hit