#oh also me and fun named him winrobin because it’s sort of the opposite of failwhale

[kats-other-stuff]

Who has the wooden scythe? (aka Kat goes matpat mode for like 5 minutes)

Expanded version of this post I made on the FailWiki. You might want to sit down. This is a long one. The minecraft hoes scythes are powerful weapons wielded by members of c!Failboat’s family. Using this weapon as a conduit, one can use the magic plot device cube Power of the Scythe to travel the multiverse and shapeshift and also whatever other broken abilities the writer wants to attribute to it.

Failboat has the golden scythe, Wincar has the diamond scythe, and Failwhale has the stone scythe, and also the netherite scythe… hey wait a minute, netherite didn’t exist in 2012. Also that is not an easily explainable upgrade at all. What’s going on here?! Anyways, that is a can of worms for tomorrow or the day after that, probably. The last two scythes, iron and wood, do not have a user attributed to them. (A while back it said on the wiki that Moom Mom had the iron scythe, which makes.. not a lot of sense, but that trivia point has since disappeared off the wiki, so I think it’s safe to say that isn’t canon.)

Buuuuut there are two other players that show up for like two small snapshots in Failwhale’s flashback during Divergence301, so I think we know who has those. Or had.

oh hey we’ve answered the question in the title. Purple hoodie guy has the wooden scythe, and by process of elimination that would mean the person with the green hoodie who shows up shortly after this, their dad, wielded the iron scythe. You may be thinking that this is the end of the post, and you can go on with your day now, but-

No. No you cannot. By the way, I tied you to that chair while you weren’t looking, reader. If you want to avoid having to listen to my yapping, simply never go within sight of me ever again.

I assume we are on the same page about that. Anyways, the second question I would like to answer in this crazy rambling session is, what happened to this guy? And by extension, does he have anything to do with Failwhale becoming the worst person in the Failboat Cinematic Universe?

We see purple hoodie guy for just two scenes in Divergence, and that is literally all the canon information on him we ever get. Originally, something centering around Failwhale’s past appears to have been planned after Divergence, but that never came to fruition.

Here’s the second snapshot, by the way.. huh. I don’t think something happened to purple hoodie guy, rather, he did something to someone else. That something could have turned Failwhale into the person he is now, so unfortunately I need to do a bit of character analysis on him now..

All we really have to work with is that Failwhale is a horrible waste of oxygen, and he’s really really intent on keeping the Power of the Scythe for himself. What if purple hoodie guy somehow took the PotS from Failwhale and did some unspeakable crime (like oh, I dunno, killing their dad) or did something while Failwhale couldn’t use the PotS/had lost it somehow? Or maybe something did actually happen to purple hoodie guy, and like in the other two scenarios Failwhale wasn’t able to use the PotS to prevent it. In any case, after the fact, Failwhale would think that if he had been able to use it, then whatever trauma happened would not have occurred.

Where is purple hoodie guy now? Who knows. He might be dead, he might not. I think that c!Failboat should be wary if he runs into someone who wears a purple hoodie, wields a wooden scythe, and looks a bit like his dad, though. Who knows what that guy could do..