#oh as I call it Miss Honey Goes Apeshit

[arimabari]

turns out we can’t just all get along after all

[crystal-lillies]

Okay so first thoughts after watching Power of the Doctor, featuring some things I screamed while watching (Spoilers):

-start of the episode is a bit clunky but not a terrible reintroduction to the CyberMasters

-Sacha Dhawan absolutely fucking annihilates every scene he's in my god. Goes absolute apeshit nuts. I love it

-THE CLASSIC MASTER LINES

-AAAAAACE!!!!! TEEEEEGAAAAANNN!!!!

-CLASSIC COMPANIONS MY BELOVEDS!

-Dan...:( really got a short end of the stick I feel like. Kind of abrupt. He and Yaz def had a stronger bond so I like they had a nice goodbye but. Man that felt so cut off.

-I bet the Four inside Thirteen felt(tm) that poor Dalek, knowing that it was right that they failed their original purpose to help the Kaleds survive. "That poor Dalek" my god but I did feel so bad :(

-the way Ace calls The Master out on being a catboy cleared my acne, watered my crops, boosted my serotonin

-also the unhinged way The Master was so delighted that the armed troops were for him. Am I gOIng tO UNIT??? You doughnut. Bastard man. I can't help but enjoy watching you chew up every scene!!

-VINDER!!!!

-YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS YAZ FLYING THE TARDIS!!! THE TARDIS LISTENING TO YAZ!!!

-the fucking memes don't even do it justice. The Master fucking blasting Rasputin. Was playing Rasputin just a cover so he could blast this song? I would believe it. It's absolutely 10000% in character.

-oh SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!! DHAWAN!DOCTOR!MASTER???!!

-Don't mind me casually breaking the sound barrier when 5 shows up to Tegan and mentions Adric. A single word. A single name. And I screech loud enough to hear 10 miles away.

-KATE STEWART DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE YOUR PEOPLE ARE OKAY FIRST BEFORE YOU GO ANYWHERE YOU DOUGHNUT!!!!!!!

-Yaz my angel my beloved you rockstar FUCK HIM UP <3

-sidebar Sacha Dhawan rocks in 13's outfit (and maybe that's why the Beeb was afraid of DT in it...too much power 😔). And then that fucking mismatch. The SWEATER. I CAN'T.

-8 ILYSM bb your sass always appreciated. Bonus, CLASSIC DOCTORS BABEY!!!

-sideside note. Sentient energy creature thing? Cool af. Wish we got a tad bit more time exploring that but only so much time alas.

-Yaz you brilliant love. And VINDER!!! I'M FREELANCE!!! HELL YEAH YOU ARE GET HIS ASS!!!!

-RUTH FUGITIVE DOCTOR HELLO BB YOU SLAY EVEN AS A HOLOGRAM

-dont make me go back to being me ow wow that actually hurt a bit, and that's how this Master does actually come from Missy

-ACE!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!! AND GRAHAM!!!! GRAHAM BOY!!!!!!! HELLO!!! SHOW EM HOW YOU DID IT IN 1963!

-you made Adric proud Tegan....even if he would be too much of a little shit to say so off the bat, he'd be proud of you....

-Kate's point to herself. That "me?" Moment. My god. Did no one ever take her in the TARDIS? (Stares at 11 and 12)

-Using the Master's TARDIS against his plan (again), excellent. Actual solving of the whole CyberMasterDalek plan? A little shaky. But I'll allow it. Thanks to "a bit crowded. Just how I like it" 13. Honey. Are we having Journey's End flashbacks and missing all your friends in a TARDIS? :( is this a sign

-oof fuck ow ouch I half expected her to be sliced in half with that ray beam but fjdgkd watching too much Vox Machina lately and forgot for a sec that BBC would never be that brutal and I'm glad--

-because we got the CARRY!!! THE LIFT!!! THEM!!!!!!

-hi can you hear the sound of my heart breaking into one million pieces seeing Yaz finally start crying after being so brave and put together through everything. Knowing after everything she STILL loses her Doctor. I'm not okay. I'm not okay!!!!!!! I want more time with her too Yaz!!!! Right here with you!!!!

-"i loved being with you, Yaz" don't!! Mind!! Me!! Screaming crying throwing up!!!!

-still could have at least kissed her hand but. Mmmmmmm the way they look at each other. The way they both acknowledged the love they feel. But Chibnall and BBC are still cowards.

-classic companions!!!!!!!!! Way to bring back the OG holy fuck

-Dan sitting in a room as the newest companion with one of the FIRST companions. Iconic.

-"Look after the next one" HONEY!!!! I'M NOT READY!!!!!

-"Tag, you're it" WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LAST LINE. I'M STILL NOT READY BUT GOD DAMN.

-!and that sunrise regeneration shot!!! Absolutely fucking breathtaking!!!! In tears!!!

-aaannnd then the twist. Clothes regen def throws me a sign that This Is Wrong. We saw MULTIPLE REGENS here my dudes and clothes did not change. This is Important.

- Also fuck off RTD, respectfully, but DT is not Fourteen. He doesn't get to have two whole numbered lives after *everything else he got already.* Fourteen is Ncuti thank you the fuck much. He was announced first, and we all celebrated him as 14 first. So there.

[kurogabae]

TSUBASA: TRAINWRECK CHRONICLES

And Why Bee Train Are Officially Being Labeled, By Me, As The Boomers Of Animation

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4

[Slim Shady’s “Guess Who’s Back” plays in the distance, muffled but threatening]

Look, I know I usually have something to say at the start of these, but honestly? Let’s just go because we’re starting knee-deep in some bullshit. 

Tsarastora (yes... fucking AGAIN):

Well, it didn’t take long for us to return to the land of the walking Not Dead Anymore. Rumor has it that Bee Train was ordered to retcon the S1 finale immediately because who do you think you are to break one of CLAMP’s cardinal rules like that?!? But I’ve never seen any proof of exactly what went down about this plot. But I’m forced to believe Ohkawa materialized behind the director one day and threatened to eat his spine or some shit. 

Anyway. We’re here. Again. And for some reason this is where they decide to have Sakura give Yuuko her White Day gift? Instead of in Piffle? Where she made it? With Tomoyo?

Stop stealing my moments Bee Train. It’s like you’re the crew who edited CCS for America back in the day and tried to market it towards boys so you pushed Syaoran as the main character and tried to remove all romance. Let Sakura have friends! Let her interact with people and have a story! LET HER BE BI!!!

So Yuuko has a dress and Fai makes a joke about being in heaven because the place is so pretty and Kurogane says not to, quote, “say such unlucky things” and it’s moments like this that make you wonder if they Knew and just didn’t care about Fai’s past or if they really were just as in the dark as the rest of us. I flip flop a lot between the two. 

Either way, now the dads are talking about the kids and how brave Syaoran is (why the bullshit in Piffle prompted this I do not know but whatever I guess?) and basically just about how badly they want them to succeed but without just saying it. Meanwhile Sakura is telling Syaoran about her latest memory and I could not for the life of me tell you which one it was and I refuse to go check. The important thing here is that the lazy animation trick that has given Mokona the power of flight is back and she’s hovering around the gang now. Not sitting on shoulders or anything. Just... flying around like she’s Kero. This is fine. I guess.

And then, after what has to be like a solid half hour of just dicking around Mokona Very Suddenly senses a feather. Why so suddenly? Because they wanted to get everything else out of the way first and it was convenient. No other reason. The feather isn’t moving. Neither are they really. She just decides to turn her sensors on now? IDK. Maybe she needs a tune up.

They find the feather not far away just casually sitting inside a rock and everyone but Kurogane is like “Yay! Easy find! Go us!” because apparently no one can learn anything in this anime about what those fucking feathers do. Spoilers: it’s not a rock, it’s a dragon.

[Kurogane voice]: kin

The dragon fucks off and here we come to a Thing. Now, Kurogane is ready to slaughter this thing and wear its bones basically. He is Ready to Fight in a real way. I found that odd and really didn’t care for it. In Hanshin he seems in awe of Celes when it appears to him and even though it’s mostly fanon that Kurogane respects and likes dragons that makes sense. His family’s guardian was a dragon, his sword was modeled after a dragon. His whole motif is dragons! Why is he so ready to kill this one? Does it not count if it’s not a Nihon dragon? Does only Ginryuu get respect? It just feels bad???

But none of that matters because guess what! Dragon shaped as it might be, the thing is a demon? At least, that’s what they’re calling it. Sometimes. Fai says demon, Syaoran says dragon. They don’t.... agree on the term? Shut up. It’s a dragon.

So they soon realize that they are back in Should Be Very Dead-ville and oh no everyone is going to die again unless we get this OTHER feather because if one feather can buy us a month of living surely one more will fix our deaths forever right? ....right? (On a side note; Fai makes a comment about how weird it is that two feathers fell in the same world while he’s from Celes and knows damn well he found two and is unaware of a third!!!) 

Either way the family is gonna help because, you know. Feather. If memory serves, the dragon is hiding in a lake, so what does Kurogane (who is now in charge because of course) have them do? They set the lake on fucking fire. And it delights him. It do not, however, delight the dragon, who, understandably, goes apeshit. Luckily, no one dies and they just hack off the horn that the feather was stuck in. And then they... take it to God again because wow they really do think this will work. Sakura, honey, I know how sweet you are but it only got them one month last time. What good will this do?

The answer is no good!

God basically tells them it’s tough tits, the month long visitation was all they could manage and no matter how many super powered magic bird parts they bring the dead are dead and that’s that. Which sucks for those villagers but haha, bummer for FAi to have to hear. Again. After watching Sakura wish someone to life with a mere piece of her soul. Again. Wonder how that felt. (Short post about Kurogane and Fai’s possible feelings here.)

So to end the episode, Sakura gets her feather back and then the family leaves town but sticks around on the outskirts to watch everyone fucking die again like some sick ass fuckers!!!

I’m not even going to talk about the stupid memory she gets with papa!Clow and learning about how death is a Thing via her dead pet bunny. It happens. It’s inorganic. I hate it. Shut up Clow.

The episode is over and I’ll leave you with this to heal your souls.

I am a simple woman.

Portoria:

WE’RE ON A BOAT MOTHA FUCKER!

If you’re too young to recognize that joke, click the link for... an experience. Wear headphones. Everyone else, please join me in this not-a-Wind-Waker-AU. 

We’re gonna skip all of my bad sailor jokes and focus for a minute on Kurogane’s Sinbad cosplay here because yes good hello I am easily distracted. 

Anyway, the captain is this world’s version of Koryo’s shitty Ryanban and Kurogane and Fai have a moment to wax philosophical about whether or not souls are inherently good or evil, which is fine and I would hardly mention if, while they were doing this, the “camera” wasn’t stood still on an image of Syaoran and Sakura just... smiling at each other while the dads spoke. Like the kids aren’t even doing anything, they’re just smiling. It’s weird. It’s also almost like accidental foreshadowing because HAHA THOSE ARE CLONES! But I’m not gonna go into it for the sake of this joke.

On the ship everyone has to work, Kurogane is terrorizing his new shipmates into compliance under his leadership, Fai and Sakura are cooking fish, and Syaoran is in the engine room with a child version of Fujitaka AKA his father. Understandably, Syaoran is Feeling Emotions, not that the animation is any indicator of this. He also calls a ten year old daddy so things are going great. 

Now yes, Syaoran must miss his father terribly, not only has he been dead for who knows how long exactly (anywhere upwards of 5 years possibly) but Syaoran is far from home without any pictures or familiarity to remind him of Fujitaka, and now he’s got some savant elementary schooler who is an AU version of his dad basically sharing his deepest hopes and dreams.  It’s a weird episode. Oh, and there is no feather, but Mokona is sweet as can be and stays so Syaoran can get to know this version of Fujitaka. Which honestly seems more like a punishment than anything to me, but hey. 

Also, there’s a sea monster. And a haunted island. And something that sounds suspiciously like Piedmon from Digimon. 

Syaoran and Fujitaka get stranded on the island after getting yeeted overboard and the captain telling the rest of the family that his ancestors forbid people from going to the island is enough to stop a rescue mission? Like. Kurogane AND Sakura are sitting there, letting nothing happen. This is fine. Everything is fine. 

And it kinda is because the island if filled with old shit and Syaoran is geeking out like a kid surrounded by his special interest would be expected to. 

In the end, the creepy laughter was wind, the island isn’t haunted, the family tries to row out to save Syaoran and a sea monster is on screen for all of 30 seconds. This episode was boring. Dull. It wasn’t even particularly angsty because Bee Train has no concept of emotional DEPTH!! Their expressions and emotions are as flat as Fai’s ass and as dry as Clow’s deserts. This could have been a very moving and fascinating filler episode, but Bee Train remains in capable of doing ANYTHING AT ALL EVER! I’m bored. This is boring.

At least Sakura looked cute in her little sailor outfit. 

The next episode is “A Date With a Wizard” and that shitshow is getting its own post. Peace. 

PART 1 – PART 2 – PART 3 -- Part 4