#oh i have a fourth one too but its not a comic ill write it one day itd just be a novel or something but im self conscious of it bc its like

[blood-injections]

Okay fineee finally getting back into figuring out an original comic of mine i plan to draw and publish. Well two✌ comics maybe three the third one i wanna make a movie or animation. They're The original stories ive had forever but keep losing inspiration for but that always live in my head ones like danger days meets the matrix meets the terminator and im working on my style guide for it rn getting inspiration back and sketching the creature designs. That ones science fiction post apocalypse gay dystopia and the other one would be like. Short like one part while the dystopia one would be like a series or at least multiple issues but the second one is apocalyptic fantasy and kind of cosmic horror? But its not really horror it just has the same like. Unexplainableness. Its just kind of sad tbh its like. Hopeful but somber but Weird and has a nuclear war and powers and mental illness and genderless entities and a lonely god and queer love facing an apocalypse together and life and reincarnation and ends and beginnings and just. Its my darling. And the third one i want to be a film of some sort is straight up horror lol a lot of body horror and like. Its a hopeless apocalypse it doesn't have a happy ending. Im thinking since i dont know like. cgi or anything. Im thinking of making it a mixture of live action for the characters and stopmotion for the Creatures since i could greenscreen them in if i just make them puppets. itll be a project for when i have free time and money for an adobe subscription lol. If you guys wanna hear abt any of these i might make a sideblog if i start drawing the comic until then just ask me abt any of these and ill gladddly infodump lol. Gay matrix terminator danger days dystopia is for now called In Our Dreams(we can be complete) the weird fantasy apocalypse one always been loosely titled The Stargazer but i could call it Sending My Love(from the other side of the apocalypse) to match lol. And the third one i just call the Bonepocalypse. Also these all came from wild dreams i had like the universes i fully dreamed up its crazy

[sl33pyperson]

hello. its my favourite thing to do. talk about moon knight and post screenshots while i have an amount of alcohol in me

straight up. i fucking hate the 1985 run. its only 6 volumes and i fucking hate it. disgust. very upset about marlene being the one to suggest the galleries but like, not in a disgust way, in a “oh sweet summer child” way

and THANK GODS IT DIDNT LAST LONG. OHHHFHGHHHH

these were just very cute <3 not pictured: me being emotion about dd stalking foggy bc they arent talking anymore. my poor boy.

how did i never fucking know caps secret identity was a fucking comic artist. who is drawing about himself. what the fuck. im instantly a thousand more times in love with this version of cap. what a fucking nerd.

ok back to what we actually care about. moon knight. THIS COMIC WAS SO FUCKING GOOD!! ANNA NOCENTI WHY DIDNT U WRITE FOR MOON KNIGHT MORE idk like. the ONE WRITER currently to ACKNOWLEDGE BRAIN SHIT. ohh my god marlene is SO BAD IN THIS ONE BUT ITS SO GOOD BC LIKE. YEAH. SHE DOESNT FUCKING GET IT. “or from the devil” u literally say this to the man u think u love? maam??? i am fucking screaming. reconsidering her “i was just [marcs] teddy bear” like, oh god, mk really does rely on her to keep himself grounded to what (at least steven?) believes is the real world. as much as mk pushes u around, u really depended on stevens money and enjoyed urself and was just. ouughhhhhhh.

SCREAMING!,! I SAT THERE ACTUALLY IN FUCKING SHOCK AT THIS PAGE!!! LIKE!! THE ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF WHAT THE SYSTEM IS GOING THRU, valid fears (especially to steven, who fucking HATES marc, he WANTS to be his own man and his own person away from marc so badly). also like, merging being the “nyrotypical” thought of “getting better”, when like. all systems are different, some work better in tandem with each other and still being seperate (not that these boys r anywhere near that holy fucking shit)

i genuinely love how fucking terrible marlene is in this comic. like. yeah. as much as this “hypnosis” “therapist in training (i think??)” lady thinks shes qualified, shes just so. gods. ur partner is freaking out and dissociating (i dont care if its bc the moons doing weird shit, hes still mentally zonked out) so you JUST FUCKING RUN AND LEAVE AND GET DRUNK?? marlene is so terrible. its so good. this is such a bad relationship for both of them but steven truely fucking relies on her too much at this point. screaming.

THIS WAS SO SWEET AND CUTE LIKE. nature is filled with contradictions, the system is filled with contradictions, but they balance everything out. every bit is necessary and needed. theres no “evil”, no “good”, just. being. and it balances itself out. every part is needed. ough. ouuugghhhh. i want to eat this comic. mwah mwah

ITS WACKO TIME BAEBYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YOU WANTED DEEP INTROSPECTIVE LOOKS INTO MK PYSCHE? ITS ONLY SHENANIGANS FROM HERE ON OUT BAEBYYYYY LIKE HOW THEY ALL FUCKING DIED AND KHONSHU WAS LIKE “lol nah ill just tell my boy 5000 years in the future to get ya 🤫”

khonshu is still such a dick. cool panelling

THE PRIESTSS i didnt actually mind them tbh. lil weird but i mean, its comics for ya

RANDOM BULLSHIT GO!!!, he truely just has like. so many stupid gadgets and additions that they feel the need to show off All of them everytime. its kinda cute. i miss his truncheon. i wonder if marc misses it too. OH SHOUT OUT TO ANNASA COMIC FOR LIKE, SAYING MOON KNIGHT WAS A FOURTH PERSONALITY, I DIG THAT

frenchie <3 where the fuck did that bottom bar come from. uh. shout out to mk just spacing out in front of villains. hes also really cute. U DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM THEY GOT RID OF THE 1985 MASK AAHHHHHHH MY LIL SHADOW BLOB IS BACK!!!! YEAH!!,!,!!

how many fucking photos can i add oh my god this isnt stopping. this is cute

[macklives]

hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

[spaceacealyx]

Growth

Jade hates that she has to wake up this early for classes. By now, her fourth year, everyone knows to avoid Jade as much as possible before at least noon, except for a few first years that can’t take the death glares from Jade herself and the comical amount of space everyone else gives her as a hint.

That being said, seeing Jade walking up to someone early in the day is never a good sign.

Students scurry out of the way to avoid getting plowed into. The clicking of her heavy boots is loud enough to alert the girl she’s after She doesn’t outwardly react until Jade is right behind her. “Hey, dipshi-“ Lore whips around and slaps Jade, the crack of her hand against Jade’s cheek rings out clear and it silences the hall. Everyone stops in their tracks to watch the scene unfold.

Jade is frozen for a second before her brain reconnects and rage fills her. “You’re gonna regret that,” her voice comes out as a growl and she sees red. Jade launches herself at Lore.

A professor has to separate them and they both receive detention.

 “And in 1637, the…”

Jade sighs slowly, boredom and aggravation eating away at her as Binns drones on. She turns to her relatively new friend Thibault. “How are you not asleep yet, Landon? Did you chug some wideye before class or something?”

He looks up from his notes at her. “No…” She rolls her eyes and lays on top of her arms that are folded on the table. Her eyes idly scan the room.

“You’re on some next level shi-…” Jade’s eyes land on the other Landon twin. Lore had a knack for making Jade’s brain freeze, whether she knew she did or not. Jade’s heart rate picks up slightly. All she could think about was all the cute freckles that spotted her skin or the way her eyes lit up with fire or the one time Jade saw her genuinely smile when she thought only Thibault was around.

“Who are you glaring at now?”

Thibault’s voice snaps her out of her… whatever that was.

“Huh?”

Thibault’s shoulders slump as he rolls his eyes slightly and he looks at her from the corner of his eye. “That look. Who pissed you off?”

Jade’s eyebrows knit together, and she sits up again. “Wh-… No one. I was just…” Her eyes flick back to Lore. “Never mind. Just forget about it,” she grumbles, going to lay her head back down.

“Jade…”

She looks back up at him with a frown on her face. He’s giving her a look that screams suspicion. “I wasn’t glaring at her. It’s just my face.”

She turns her head back around and closes her eyes to take a nap. She’s peaceful for a few moments until, “You’re a disaster.”

“Are you fucking-!”

 Jade is tightening the straps on her quidditch gloves when she sees Lore again. She grins. “Hey, asshole!” Wow. Was that really what just came out of her mouth? Lore glares at her and opens her mouth to throw an insult back. “Slytherin is going to crush Hufflepuff today. You might as well forfeit now.”

“You’re a fucking idiot, Caplan. Go crawl back in your dark goth cave.”

Jade feels her lip twitch. “I’m not a damn goth!”

“Yeah and I’m not a Hufflepuff. Fuck off.”

Jade snarls, getting ready to throw another insult in Lore’s face when someone pulls on her sleeve. “Jade come on. The game’s about to start!”

She throws their hand off her sleeve and gives them a scathing glare before turning away and walking over to join her team.

 Halfway through the game, its Slytherin 70-30 and Jade is still stewing over her interaction with Lore just before the game. It finally boils over when Lore flies past her, just barely crashing into her. Jade pulls back sharply and curses under her breath, anger bubbling inside of her. Well if she’s going to be like that… Jade flies over to stop a bludger from hitting one of her teammates. She hits it into Lore’s direction, channeling all her frustration into it. “Take that Landon!”

It’s a few moments too late when she realizes what’s going to happen based on the direction of the bludger. She barely even has time to gasp before the ball smashes into Lore’s face head-on. Jade watches in ill-concealed horror as Lore is flung to the ground by the force of the ball. Her heart nearly stops and her vision tunnels to the heap on the ground.

“Lorena! Oh Merlin, what the hell Jade!?”

She barely hears Thibault yelling at her. Her throat tightens and she can feel light prickling in her eyes. “Merlin, I’m just like my father, aren’t I?”

Just as Jade decides to go check if Lore is alright, she sees her move. Her shoulders, which had tensed, relax slightly. She watches her drag herself into a sitting position and stays there for a moment. Her hair is messy and coming out of the ponytail she usually has it in. Finally, she looks up and looks right at Jade. There is blood all over her face and she’s giving Jade the most bone-chilling glare she’s ever seen but besides the goosebumps it gives her, she’s relieved Lore is okay.

Lore pulls herself up off the ground and grabs her broom and takes off, wiping her face on her sleeve quickly before throwing herself into the game. Lore’s aggression is unmatched, even by Jade. Jade nearly falls off her broom when she goes to hit a bludger away from a teammate and Lore zooms by, brushing past her in the process.

 “AND HUFFLEPUFF WINS THE GAME WITH TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY POINTS!”

 Jade can’t even be mad. A few of her teammates are sent to the hospital wing and Thibault runs to catch up with Lore after the match. It’s clear that he’s worried but Jade doesn’t dare get close enough to hear. Thibault brings her to the hospital wing immediately. 

Later that night, when Jade goes to bed, she’s still sore from the game with worry clawing at her. 

 Jade doesn’t bother sitting next to Thibault in the classes they have together. He’s probably still mad at her. She keeps her head down around him in the hallways.

When she sees Lore though, her gut twists with anxiety and guilt even though there isn’t any physical evidence left after Lore’s trip to Madam Pomfrey. Jade catches herself staring at Lore more often than not and ducking her head silently when Lore catches her.

 Jade writes to her dad when the guilt starts to eat her alive. Sam’s replies are always so formal, long-winded, and extra. This time it’s only a single word.

Apologize.

 It takes her a week to figure out how to do it. She can’t just go up to Lore, she might actually kill her. So Thibault it is.

It takes her another week to gather up the courage to talk to him.

“Hey…” Her voice is too soft so she clears her throat and starts again, “Hey Thibault… H-how’s Lore…?”

He looks at her carefully. “She’s alright. She’s tough.”

Jade nods her head, looking anywhere but in his eyes. He looks awkwardly at her for a moment and turns to walk away. She panics a little and reaches out to him. “Hey!” He stops and looks at her, blinking. Jade instantly pulls back and shrinks in on herself. “Um… Can we-… uh…” She purses her lips. Her voice is soft once more, “Can we talk…?”

When he agrees, it’s hard for her to find where to begin and she’s a stuttering, muttering mess, but she eventually gets through it. He waits patiently for her to get the words out and accepts the apology when she’s done.

It feels like a hundred-pound weight is lifted off her chest and the corner of her mouth twitches upward. Maybe that wasn’t so bad after all.

This was based on a conversation @neonbluewaves (who owns Lore and Thibault) and I had about the kids. She drew a comic so I decided to write something to go along with it. Thank you for letting me use them!! 

[animefan299110]

Family Matters Chapter 8: Caring For Mama

Hey guys, you know the drill. I do not own I do not own Boku no Hero Academia, its characters, or its locations. They are all owned by Kohei Horikoshi, Jump Comics, and Funimation.

"Why can't I see Mama?" Eri asked in concern. She, Midoriya, and Hagakure were standing outside Uraraka's door, which was closed.

"Because she's not feeling well and doesn't want anyone to get sick, sweetie," Hagakure said. Almost on cue, a loud sneeze echoed from the opposite side of the door.

"U-Uraraka's sick?" Midoriya asked in a worried tone. "Do we call Recovery Girl? What if it's the flu and it's serious? Maybe I could contact Iida. No, that wouldn't work since he's off having coffee with Hatsume. Maybe there's some sort of medicine we can use to help her illness go down. Let me think; we have flu medicine, pain killers, cough medicine-"

"Papa!" Eri exclaimed. "You're doing that thing again."

"S-Sorry," Midoriya said, scratching the back of his head, "force of habit."

"I wouldn't worry too much, Midoriya," Hagakure said. "She said it's just a slight fever. It should be gone within a few days."

"Well that's a relief," Midoriya said with a sigh. With that, he and Hagakure left Uraraka's door.

Eri, however, had stayed behind and continued to stand outside the door. After a few minutes, Momo came by and stopped when she noticed Eri. "Eri?" she asked in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, everything's fine, Auntie Momo. It's just…" Eri paused and her features saddened. "I just wish there was a way for me to help Mama get better."

Momo placed a finger underneath her lower lip and she thought about Eri's predicament. Suddenly, an idea popped into her head and a smile grew on her face. "Why not make her a get-well card?" she said.

"A get-well card?" Eri asked in confusion.

Chuckling a little at Eri's innocence, Momo explained. "It's a card you give to someone wishing them the best when they're either sick or recovering from something. You can either buy them at the store or you can make one yourself." She then leaned in and whispered, "Personally, I find that homemade cards are the best to give. It shows that you care deeply about that person and that you wish them well."

"Oh," Eri said in understanding. Just then, an idea popped into her head and she grinned. "Thanks, Auntie Momo," Eri said before she ran off downstairs. Momo only smiled back and waved back.

Eri ran to Midoriya's room, where she grabbed construction paper, markers, colored pencils, and other craft tools. She then carefully carried them down to the main floor into the living room, where she set the supplies down on the coffee table. Taking up a sheet of cardboard paper in one hand and a marker in the other, Eri began to work.

"What are you working on, Eri?" Midoriya's voice called out from the kitchen.

"I'm making Mama a get-well card," Eri said, glancing over at Midoriya. It was then that she noticed him standing over the kitchen stove looking into a pot and stirring something with a wooden spoon. "What are you doing, Papa?" she asked.

"Well," Midoriya said with a small smile, "I'm making some Zosui. It's got chicken, mushrooms, some vegetables, noodles, and a few spices. It's supposed to help you when you're sick."

"Really?" Eri stopped what she was doing and walked over to the kitchen. She then brought up a stepping stool to stand on until her head stood over the countertop.

"Yep," Midoriya said. "I'm actually using a recipe that my mom used to make whenever I was sick."

"Grandma would make that for you?" Eri pointed at the black pot. Midoriya stiffened for a second; he had almost forgotten that Eri kept calling his mother 'Grandma'.

"Y-Yes," Midoriya stuttered. "I always remember how good it tasted and it always filled me up and made me feel warm inside." He paused and he used the wooden spoon to scoop up a sliver of broth. He then sipped and tasted it with a quizzical look on his face. "Maybe it needs a few more minutes. Here," he added and he scooped another sliver before placing a hand under the spoon, blowing it, and lowering it to Eri's level. "What do you think?"

Eri leaned forward and pressed her lips to the tip of the spoon before she sipped it. It was warm and tasted really good; Grandma was without a doubt a great cook. "Another few minutes, Papa," she said, to which Midoriya nodded in agreement.

While Midoriya finished the soup, Eri returned to making her get-well card. She used a variety of markers to write out a message and even used her safety scissors to cut a sheet of pink construction paper. She then folded the main paper neatly to complete the project.

"Ready to go see Mama?" Midoriya asked. He then picked up a tray with the bowl of soup on it.

"Wait!" A voice cried out before Eri could respond. The two of them turned to see Mina standing before them holding up two sheets of fabric with strings attached to each end. "Gotta put these on before you see her."

"Oh, right." Midoriya said. He then set the tray on the counter and placed the piece over his mouth and nose and the strings over his ears. He then knelt down and placed the other fabric over Eri's mouth and nose as well.

"What is this?" Eri asked, noticing that her voice was muffled through the fabric.

"It's a surgical mask," Mina said. "It helps prevent the spread of diseases so that you don't get sick." Eri nodded in understanding. "Now you can go visit Mama," Mina added with enthusiasm.

Once Midoriya lifted the tray again, the three of them made their way up the stairs until they reached Uraraka's door on the fourth floor. Mina then knocked and called out, "Uraraka, are you still in there?" A groan came from inside followed by a weak "yeah". Taking it as an invitation to enter, Mina opened the door.

There were tissues that littered the floor and some that filled the clear trash can. The covers on the bed were ruffled and there was a noticeable bundle under it that stretched to both ends of the bed. The bundle underneath tossed the cover over to reveal a pale-faced Uraraka with a red nose and droopy eyes.

"Afternoon, sunshine," Mina said. Uraraka replied with another groan. "I've brought Midoriya and Eri with me."

Uraraka's red eyes then turned to face Midoriya and Eri. Her gaze softened and her mouth curved into a small smile. "Hey, you two," She said weakly and in a croaky voice.

"Hey, Uraraka," Midoriya said. He made his way over with the tray in his hands. "I made you some soup." He handed her the tray.

When the tray was placed on Uraraka's lap, the steam that emitted from the bowl reached her nostrils. She inhaled deeply and smiled a little. "Thanks, Deku," she said. "It smells really good." Midoriya could only blush at her comment.

"Here, Mama," Eri said. She handed Uraraka the folded piece of paper. "I made this for you." Uraraka took the card and noticed a little cut-out heart glued onto the front of it. Giving a small smile, she then opened the card to see a message with words written in different colors. It read:

I hope you

get well soon, Mama.

Love you,

Eri

"Thank you, Eri," Uraraka said. She looked down at the little girl with a smile. "This is so sweet of you." Eri smiled upon hearing her comment.

"Maybe we ought to leave her be," Mina suggested. Eri and Midoriya nodded; they figured Uraraka would like to enjoy her soup in peace and not run the risk of making them sick as well. With that, Eri, Midoriya, and Mina left the room.

When the three of them reached the main floor, Eri began picking up her craft materials to put them away. At that moment, the front doors opened to reveal a certain boy who wore glasses. "Welcome back, Uncle Tenya!" Eri said.

"Hi, Iida!" Midoriya said upon seeing his best friend. "How was coffee with Hatsume?"

"Very well, thank you for asking," Iida said. He then took off his coat and placed it on the coat rack. "We discussed what we wanted to do when we graduated UA, I told her about my family's history as heroes, she told me about some of her inventions, and the rest was just small talk."

"So I take it the date was a success, huh?" Mina asked with a smirk, which caused Iida's cheeks to turn bright pink.

"I-It was not a date!" Iida exclaimed and gestured wildly. "It was just a casual meeting of two students, one of whom just wanted to show appreciation for what the other had done for him."

"Yeah?" Mina's eyes narrowed and her smirk grew. "That kiss imprint on your left cheek says otherwise." Upon hearing Mina's words, Iida's cheeks reddened and he ran to try and find a mirror. Midoriya and Eri, meanwhile, both had to cover a hand over their mouths to stifle their laughter while Mina looked on with an amused smile.

Bonus Content

Eri rose up from her bed in frustration; she couldn't seem to fall asleep. It had been a week since her 'Mama' had recovered from her illness and everything seemed to be back to normal. She was still doing well in school, she still hung out with Satsuki, and the other students still treated her like family.

It was while she was thinking about the students that her mind shifted to her Mama and Papa. She never thought about it in the past, but lately she had been noticing some weird things about how they reacted to each other. When one of them would make an encouraging or kind comment, the other would blush and become nervous. Whenever Auntie Mina would make some comment to them with a smirk on her face, they would both blush bright red. And whenever physical contact was made between the two of them, one of them would look like they would pass out.

There was something going on between her 'parents', but Eri couldn't quite put her finger on it. It was then that Eri remembered hearing a word called "love" from a conversation she overheard between Auntie Jiro and Auntie Momo, which had something to do with Uncle Shouto. When Auntie Momo talked about him, her face turned red and she started to sweat a bit.

'Maybe love is liking someone deeply, but you're afraid to show it.' Eri thought. 'Maybe that's what is going on with Mama and Papa.' She then put on a face of determination and stood up on her bed. 'Alright then,' she thought, 'even if it takes me forever to get it done, Mama and Papa will show their love for each other. And I know just the person to ask for help,' she concluded and a smirk grew on her face.

And with that another chapter for Family Matters is complete. Well, it certainly has been interesting these past few weeks. I recently parted ways with my beta reader Mirvana. She said she had college work and needed to focus on figuring out her career after she graduated. I told her I understood and we parted ways on good terms.

Kudos to RD1042, my new beta reader, for reviewing this chapter and giving me suggestions to make it sound better to you guys.

Next time on Family Matters...the chapter every single one of you IzuOcha shippers have been waiting for! I know you've all struggled for well over a year, but trust me it will be worth it. I promise.

Until then, this is AnimeFan299110 encouraging you all to go beyond...PLUS ULTRA!

[tothelasthoursofmylife]

Birthday, some Notes and Trivia!

As of today, Watchdog of the Queen is three years old. Three. Years. I have never written a fanfic for such a long time without dropping it before. The longest I’ve lasted before was a year and a half. Seriously, what am I still doing here?

I cannot believe that I’m still here - and that you are still here as well!

I’m an incredibly anxious person, and when I uploaded the first chapter three years ago, I was absolutely certain that nobody would read something with one and a half (?) canon characters in it (and another historical public domain character; excluding Vincent, Francis, and Tanaka who only appear in side stories). Because I’ve tried that before a few times, and it never worked out.

Now, years later, people are still reading it; I am still writing it. And some of the ones who read/follow this story are even people I am a fan of. Like, how did this even happen?

Thank you for not giving up on this, for still reading this silly fanfiction despite its terrible upload schedule, its incredibly slow progress, and, at best, mediocre writing. Thank you for all the reviews and comments, favourites and follows, likes and nice words you have left me over the years. Thank you for making this work out. Let’s see how long it will.^^

Anyway, I guess/hope, the intermission/bridge chapter will be up sometime in the next few days, but, for now, I thought it would be nice to share some random “fun” notes and trivia. If anyone’s even interested...

Story

Watchdog of the Queen is not only a Kuroshitsuji fanfiction. It’s also some sort of recycled version of an original story I’ve created a long time ago. I didn’t even realise it myself until halfway through WotQ’s second arc or so... It’s funny how eerily similar both stories are; mostly when it comes to characters. (To my relief, they are also, in a lot of ways, quite different too.)

The only reason why Chapter 8 is also set in August 1847 is that I wanted Cloudia and Cedric to participate in the Lammas Day (August 1) celebrations. In the end, I didn’t go through it, i.a., because I thought that the chapter was already long enough (hah).

In the flashback in Chapter 19, Barrington mentions Cloudia’s first Watchdog task: catching John Francis (one of the persons who tried to assassinate Queen Victoria). Originally, the second arc should go on for two more chapters after Cloudia’s decoration, and these chapters were supposed to be about this exact case/task. However, Chapter 14 wrapped up surprisingly nicely and the second arc was quite a mess, so I scrapped those planned two chapters. They would have also featured Wilbur Hopkin’s first appearance in the story. Let’s see when/if he will appear now…

(Chapter 20) Instead of Cloudia withdrawing, I originally wanted Oscar to burst into the room and destroy their little moment or whatever it was. But I thought that would be a bit too mean?

The Zucchini Bonus chapter originally consisted of three parts. Then, stuff happened and I was only able to finish the first part. The other two will follow eventually.

Also, I hope the Zucchini Bonus reads like something wrote by someone who was too long in the sun. Because that’s exactly how it was.

The Halloween comic bonus was supposed to be called “The Halloween Bonus, Not Scary at All,” but I ran out of space and arm capacity, so I had to cut it short.

The original title card for it was in colour, but it looked dreadful, so I redid it. (I think, then, the bonus was named “A Not Very Scary Halloween” or sth like that?)

There were supposed to be many more “The Lady, Childhood” segments, but they kind of sucked, so I scrapped them. Why did I even upload the first few.

Before I killed the Untold Stories, the list of stories for it was ridiculously long. They ranged from more substantial ones like Newman’s and Lisa’s backstories, how Cloudia met Kamden, and how she met Milton to silly ones like babysitting stories. Some things will be included/mentioned in the main story instead.

Before I rearranged the story, there was, i.a., a Derby Arc, and a full arc set around Christmas. Now, I’m only going to spam you with Christmas bonuses. (But not this year. ): )

So far, I’ve done only one “Fun with Holidays” bonus. Originally, a third party was supposed to come to Cloudia and Cedric, making the duo a trio; said third party would then try to “cheer up” their colleagues and friends by making them celebrate/participate in all sorts of odd holidays. Well, said character was supposed to be introduced in the scrapped Derby Arc; then, I couldn’t find a better arc for them to be introduced, so they were pushed away, and this whole insane/silly idea scrapped. (But there will be some more Fun with Holidays bonuses, and said character was not entirely cut and will briefly wave through the story in the definitely not foreseeable future.)

I absolutely hate Chapter 9, i.a., because I was still dead from Chapter 8 when I wrote it and decided to put Cloudia in a white dress and all because Sieglinde wore one in Chapter 108. (I totally forgot that she only wore one because she was a debutante and not because it’s a general custom when meeting the Queen or so, and whyy...)

Oh, and I once entered this goddamn chapter in a fanfiction writing contest for fun (you could only send in fanfics which had been uploaded in a specific time frame, and Chapter 9 was the only thing I wrote that fulfilled this criterion). Obviously, I didn’t win, but I got it (properly) beta-read! Of all chapters, it’s this one that got a beta-read. Why. Anyway, she pointed out a bunch of awful mistakes to me like the “pompadour” one. In German, you can call these little bag things Pompadour or Retikül. The “English” versions of these words, however, refer to two different things: a reticule is the little bag thing, a pompadour is a hairstyle. -.-

The second chapter in my list of “Chapters I hate” is the eleventh one.

Before the third Three Times Christmas chapter became “Cakes and Comfort” it was “Graves and Grief” and about Undertaker visiting Cloudia’s grave.

Stats

Total word count per arc:

54,551 (includes The Business Partners, Jolly)

67,046 (includes The Green Ghost of Nephelius Cemetery 1 + 2 and The Lady, Childhood)

72,710 (includes Sneak a Zucchini onto Your Neighbour's Porch Day and Three Times Christmas)

Page count (1.5 spacing, Liberation serif, font size 12) per arc:

141

178

204

Names

If a character wasn’t given a name a) I thought sounded nice, b) a meaningful name, they, no matter how important or unimportant to the overall story, are often named after (or even based on) other fictional characters or, less often, after famous people. This got so out of hand that I think it would be easier and faster to list the characters who weren’t named after other characters/people.

Couples are often named after other fictional couples. (For example, Penelope and Simon Phantomhive were named after Penelope Lumley and Simon Harley-Dickinson from The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place by Maryrose Wood.)

Okay, now after having established this, I hope it’s crystal clear after whom Oscar was named.

When it comes to titles, I am often clueless about how I should “expand” them/what to add after the “of.” I usually just use a random name generator because of that. That’s, i.a., how the Viscount(ess) of Middalanoware got their name. (It’s such a weird word, who came up with it??)

Newman’s original first name was Albert because, for a moment, I honestly forgot about Prince Albert -.- And then, I forgot Prince Alfred, but who cares anyway

When writing Chapter 8, I also totally forgot that Margaret Thatcher was a thing. Cue a last-minute rename.

Characters

Some characters’ stories are (loosely) based on one or more fairy tales. Originally, there were more such characters, but they were either completely cut or their (back-)stories won’t be addressed anymore to make this evident. (I’m telling you “who’s who” after the fourth arc!)

One of the cut “fairy tale” characters was the Goose Girl that was supposed to come with Falada...

Oscar’s servants (Scott, Ishmael, and Daisy) were based around the  proverbial principle “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.” (You may have heard of the three monkeys of wisdom which embody this principle.)

Kamden’s existence is (somewhat) based on one of the passages from Lisa and Lottie (Das doppelte Lottchen - “Double Lottie”) by Erich Kästner. (I was 8/9 years old when I read this novel so I wouldn’t swear on anything that my recollection of this passage is 100% accurate.) Anyway, the passage I’m referring to is when the girls arrive in their summer camp, and the camp staff is baffled how similar they look even though, to their knowledge and to the girls’, they are not related. One of the staff members then suggests that they may be astrological twins – born on the same day, at the same time, and looking the same even if they are not related. I actually wanted to address this in-story, but I couldn’t find proper (additional) sources about astrological twins to back up anything, so I dropped it. (But, then again, there’s this whole thing about doppelgangers and Identical Strangers...)

At some point, Oscar was supposed to miss fingers, be 70 (!) years old, and a former Police Commissioner of Scotland Yard.

Also, at some point, Lisa was a pianist??? I think I’ve pretty much dropped this right after deciding on it.

Funnily enough, none of Cloudia’s original Aristocrats of Evil were born into noble families/are (really) aristocrats by blood.

In one of the scrapped “The Lady, Childhood” segments, Dr Alan (who was only ever mentioned) was supposed to be introduced. Well, as the segment was scrapped, I never got around to properly explain who he is. In short, Dr Alan’s doctor’s office is right next to the Sainteclare Bookstore. When Kamden’s adoptive parents (with whom he was friends) got ill, he treated them, but they still died. Dr Alan feels quite guilty about it and looked after Kamden ever since. (He made sure that he could keep the bookstore before Cloudia found Kamden and Barrington became his guardian. Of course, Dr Alan still looks after Kamden; Kamden basically has two dads.) Dr Alan will eventually appear, but it’s not like he’s very important anyway.

The same thing happened to Blodwen: She’s Kamden’s grandmother who lives in Wales.

Oscar actually likes Cloudia for three reasons: 1) He genuinely enjoys her company. 2) He needs her for something. The third one is a secret^^ (It’s also a reason why Oscar dislikes Cedric.)

Misc.

Cedric is Cloudia’s fourth Aristocrat of Evil because Four = Death.

The concept of the skull pendant necklace comes from one of the first FFs I’ve ever read. In it, however, it was a skeleton hand pendant necklace and it could only be used to call someone (without talking to them). Unfortunately, the FF was taken down years ago…

The skull necklace and some other objects/artefacts that have already appeared or will appear were based on things from fairy tales, from myths, or some other concepts. (They will come up later!)

The basis for Cloudia’s office in the illustrated Halloween Bonus was OC’s office in the Funtom Music Hall. (It’s, of course, a watered-down version.)

I don’t know if anyone paid attention to the tiny rabbit drawings in the illustrated Halloween Bonus and the Cake mini-comic, but I hope someone did.

(The Business Partners, Jolly) I tried my best to find it out, but I still don’t know if the altar stone thing in St Margaret’s Chapel is movable or not. :( (Are, in general, altars even movable? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

(The Siblings, Partners) Something else I couldn’t find was how deep Brent Reservoir’s deepest area really is. I think I only found the average depth of the reservoir and then, based on it, picked a random number/estimate for its deepest point.

The story about the four brothers who drowned in Brent Reservoir is actually a true story.

The thing those guys tried to steal in The Siblings, Partners already (sort of) appeared.

So far, four characters have been introduced by a name which is not their real one: For two, it’s fairly obvious. For the other two, it’s not that obvious. There is another character whose name is not quite spelled all the time how it should actually be spelled according to their birth certificate.

When I was 12 and picked up writing in earnest, I decided that I wanted to have something recurring in all my works. After thinking of it for a while, I eventually settled on this: the “fruit tea and penguin scale.” (it’s not strictly a scale, though.) It functions like this: the “heroes/heroic and, or mostly sane people, and so on” dislike fruit tea and like penguins, the “wannabe villains, idiots, annoying people, and so on” like fruit tea and dislike penguins. There are also a lot of “in-between” things: Cloudia and Cecelia dislike fruit tea and like penguins. Barrington and Cedric like both fruit tea and penguins. Oscar tolerates penguins and will ignore you if you ask him whether or not he thinks fruit tea is actually tea or whether or not he likes it.

My Lenore was written in case I am unable to complete Watchdog of the Queen. (I really wish I had written it better.)

I’m still waiting for someone to point out the Blatant Typo.

[mexcine]

Nezlobte dědečka [Don't Make Grandpa Angry] (1934) review: I confess I'm not that familiar with Czechoslovakia (1918-1993), although I have a general idea of its history, especially during the World War II era.  I suppose I always assumed there was a Czech film industry, but until recently I'd never had the opportunity to view a Czech film from the pre-WWII period.  But, to quote the Wicked Witch of the West (in another context), "What a world! What a world!" because now I've seen Nezlobte dědečka (which, apparently, does accurately translate to "Don't Make Grandpa Angry"--although in fact it's a misnomer, because there is no "grandpa" in the movie), with English sub-titles.

     [Curiously, the English subs alter some character names: despite a wedding invitation clearly showing "Liduška," the sub-titles read "Lynn," for instance.  Secretary "Josefinka" is called "Josephine," "Katá" is "Kathy," etc. "Uncle Jonathan" is referred to as "Jonas" in the sub-titles but in fact it sounds like the characters are calling him "Jonas"--except for his fiancee at the very end of the picture, who definitely says "Jonathan," so perhaps that's supposed to be the "Americanised" version of "Jonas."]

     Nezlobte dědečka is a vehicle for Vlasta Burian, apparently the most famous Czech comic actor of the era. Burian starred in numerous films from the late 1920s to the early 1940s, but his career was derailed after World War II when he was accused of having been a Nazi collaborator and banned from performing for 5 years (in 1994, many years after his death in 1962, Burian's name was officially cleared by the Czech government).  He did return to acting in the 1950s on film and television, although in ill-health.  [A good biography (use Chrome to translate if you're not fluent in Czech!) -- https://www.csfd.cz/tvurce/1445-vlasta-burian/ ]

     Burian plays 3 roles in Nezlobte dědečka, or to be more precise, one character who impersonates two others (although the third one is on-screen only briefly).  During the first act, he's Eman, a young man disillusioned in love (Burian's screen characters were often played in makeup, especially facial hair, but Eman is apparently more or less the "real" Burian in appearance); in the middle (and longest section) of the movie, Burian impersonates "Uncle Jonathan from America," wearing a wig, moustache and beard (I'd swear he looks like Leon Trotsky, but there's no evidence in the film suggesting this was intentional).  When his impersonation is exposed, Eman returns for the final few moments of the film as the "real" Uncle Jonathan, a much older man with white hair and a beard (only to have the actual Jonathan--who resembles neither of the fakes--show up at the end).   Eman is not an especially sympathetic character, but Uncle Jonathan #1 is quite amusing and justifiably commands the most screen time.

     As Nezlobte dědečka opens, Eman is in a café bemoaning (to all who will listen, and some who can't help but listen) the fact that the "love of his life" Liduška has married his wealthy cousin Adolf.  Eman wasn't even invited to the wedding, and thinks he should have his wedding present (a ceramic garden gnome) returned to him.  After an altercation with the proprietor, the tipsy Eman departs but runs afoul of the police after entering a display window featuring mannequins dressed as a bride and groom.  He's sent to Dr. Karner's sanitarium.  This precipitates a long stretch of "comedy" based on the eccentric actions of the other patients--while a fairly common trope of comedy films, today it seems in rather poor taste to mock mental illness.  These scenes do serve two purposes: one, to include an egg-smashing sequence that's slightly reminiscent of the Laurel and Hardy scene with Lupe Velez in 1934′s Hollywood Party, and to introduce Eman to Hanibal, the ex-husband of Aunt Matylda. 

      While Eman is in the sanitarium, the rest of the farce's plot is being set up.  Adolfo and his new wife Liduška are expecting the arrival of their rich Uncle Jonathan from Chicago, USA.  Adolf receives a letter from his ex-mistress Katá, "congratulating" him on his marriage and insisting he visit her in the city of Ostrava, or she'll come to Prague herself.  Adolf concocts a story of business troubles that require his presence in Vienna, but Liduška says they'll combine business with pleasure and make the trip their honeymoon.  Adolf insists she stay home to welcome Uncle Jonathan, expected soon. Liduška agrees to wait one day only, then'll she follow Adolf to Vienna (where he isn't going).  Aunt Matylda (Mariana Hellerová, channeling the spirit of Margaret Dumont) arrives (with her present for the newlyweds: another ceramic garden gnome!)--she's been corresponding with Uncle Jonathan (who's been absent for 30 years) and expects him to marry her.  To complicate matters even further, Adolf receives an email from Uncle Jonathan saying he'll be delayed.

     Adolf gets Eman out of Dr. Karner's mental hospital and asks him to impersonate Uncle Jonathan: this will prevent Liduška from learning about Adolf's mistress, and Eman can also dissuade Aunt Matylda from marrying Uncle Jonathan (which would undermine the rest of the family's plan to inherit their rich uncle's fortune).  Despite admittedly knowing "not a word" of English (Adolf is surprised, saying "almost everyone speaks English these days"), Eman in convinced to become his own rich uncle.  

     Finally (30 minutes into a 73-minute film), all of the groundwork has been laid, and "Uncle Jonathan" appears at Adolf's house.  The first 40% of Nezlobte dědečka isn't bad, but many of the Eman scenes feel either improvised or recreations of existing routines (if that isn't a contradiction).  Eman is not an especially endearing character, although Burian is fairly good at both wordplay and physical comedy. 

      One would expect that the rest of the movie would be non-stop farce, and you'd be partly correct.  Most of the footage features "Uncle Jonathan," Matylda, Liduška, Josefinka, etc., in Adolf's house, but we're also treated to 2 scenes (around 5 minutes, total) of Adolf in an Ostrava nightclub--complete with two entire musical numbers--as he banters with his ex-mistress.  There's also a sequence in which Hanibal escapes from the mental hospital in an attempt to prevent his ex-wife Matylda from marrying Uncle Jonathan.  The Adolf in Ostrava sequence is almost complete padding, and it turns out his ex-mistress wasn't really blackmailing him (as her letter seemed to suggest): they part on good terms, chiefly because she already has a new "sugar daddy."  [One amusing bit: Adolf writes her a farewell check, but snatches it back when her new, even older, suitor shows up.]  Hanibal's jealous presence in the house sets up the frenetic conclusion, but we didn't necessarily need such an extended sequence of him leaving the sanitarium.

     However, Burian as "Uncle Jonathan" does have the lion's share of the attention in the second part of the picture, and he's consistently entertaining.  Despite his earlier statement, Eman has managed to come up with a few words of English, but very few.  To make matters worse, Josefinka is fluent in English and even Liduška seems to speak it fairly well, so Eman is reduced to nodding and agreeing to everything they're saying. In one scene he talks to the U.S. consulate on the telephone, mostly speaking gibberish.  This language gap gets him into trouble towards the end, when a U.S. consular official arrives to marry Matylda and "Uncle Jonathan," and Eman doesn't twig what's going on until it's almost too late.

     As noted above, some of Burian's dialogue seems as if it might have been standard routines from his stage act, but this doesn't dilute the humour.  In one long scene, Matylda asks Uncle Jonathan about various relatives living in the USA, and Eman invariably says, "oh, he died, " or "she died," and then comes up with some ridiculous cause of death.  His description of life in the USA is amusing, and he even sings a song about his adopted country, sprinkling in phrases like "His Master's Voice" (the RCA slogan), and "Yankee Doodle," topping it off with a few dance steps.  Later in the film, as Hanibal is pursuing his supposed romantic rival through the mansion, Burian (who was a noted athlete) does some impressive acrobatic maneuvers to escape.

     The false "Uncle Jonathan" is exposed but Eman returns as the "real" Uncle Jonathan (much older, with a falsetto voice) and he gets in a fight with Hanibal!  Finally, the real Uncle Jonathan (and his sexy young fiancee) arrive, Eman pairs off with Josefinka, and Matylda reunites with Hanibal.  Jonathan gives Eman a wad of cash and as the film concludes, Burian breaks the fourth wall and speaks the audience, saying "here's some for you!" and tosses money at the camera.

     What are the differences between Nezlobte dědečka and a Hollywood or British comedy of the same era?  Frankly, not many, although the script (apparently based on a play) is perhaps not quite as tight and narratively logical as the Czech film's English-language competitors might have been, but that's a subjective judgement.  However, there is nothing in the plot, characters, setting, costumes, etc., which would identify this as a Czech film (aside from the language, of course): Nezlobte dědečka could have been remade in Hollywood with almost no changes other than tweaking the comic business about Eman's inability to speak English (this could have been easily accomplished by simply setting the film in a foreign country and making him unable to speak Italian, or French or Spanish). 

     This does bring up the issue of the film's image of the USA.  Although at one point "Uncle Jonathan" does claim American is "full of gangsters," for the most part the United States is viewed as a land of great opportunity and wealth.  The only significant U.S. character is the U.S. consular agent (who speaks only English), and seems a bit pompous but is actually depicted as very professional and accommodating. The real "Uncle Jonathan"--presumably a Czech who emigrated to the USA and got rich--appears only briefly, so the main "American" character is the false "Uncle Jonathan." He's eccentric but pleasant (although his interactions with Aunt Matylda have a bit of the Groucho-Margaret Dumon vibe, but less acerbic) and since Eman is giving his impression of what someone from the USA would act and sound like, it's not actually a commentary on Americans at all (if anything, it's a commentary on how business and popular culture have created an image of the USA for the rest of the world).

     The production values are satisfactory, with substantial sets and the sound and photography are professional (the cinematographer was Otto Heller, who left Czechoslovakia in 1938 with Nezlobte dědečka's  director Karel Lamač and worked in the UK for the rest of his life).  The actors are all fine.  

     A comedy like this sinks or swims on the talent of its comic star, and Vlasta Burian demonstrates considerable talent in his multiple personas: he’s obviously a talented verbal and physical comedian.  Although the fact that Nezlobte dědečka is a 1934 Czech film with English sub-titles is reason enough to watch it, Vlasta Burian makes it entertaining.

Two sources worth checking out: https://www.csfd.cz/film/5524-nezlobte-dedecka/prehled/ https://www.filmovyprehled.cz/cs/film/395652/nezlobte-dedecka

[viralhottopics]

Exclusive: Bestselling author E. Lockhart to publish a new YA novel

Image: delacorte press

Bestselling author E. Lockhart has a new YA novel hitting shelves this fall.

SEE ALSO: Read an exclusive excerpt of Jeff Zentner’s upcoming ‘Goodbye Days’

Announced today, Lockhart’s Genuine Fraud will be released Sept. 5 by Delacorte Press, and imprint of Random House Children’s Books.

Edgy and inventive, Genuine Fraud is an instantly memorable story of love, betrayal and entangled relationships that are not what they seem. Lockhart introduces readers to the story of Imogen and JuleImogen, a runaway heiress, an orphan, a cook and a cheat; Jule, a fighter, a social chameleon and an athlete. This is a novel about intense friendship, a disappearance, murder, bad romance, a girl who refuses to give people what they want from her and a girl who refuses to be the person she once was. Who is genuine? And who is a fraud? You be the judge.

Lockhart is a staple in the YA world, and she’s perhaps best known for her haunting We Were Liars, a deluxe edition of which will be published this May.

MashReads spoke to Lockhart about Genuine Fraud, her career, and her advice for 2017. Then read on for an exclusive excerpt of her upcoming novel.

When did you first know you wanted to be a writer?

I read Joan Aikens The Wolves of Willoughby Chase in third or fourth grade and immediately began writing novels about Victorian orphanages, windswept landscapes and cool uniforms.

What draws you to writing YA books?

In young adulthood, people separate from the values and embraces of their families of origin and begin to define themselves as individuals. That process of separation and self-reinvention is extremely interesting to me. Genuine Fraud is very much a YA novel, even though it doesnt take place in high school.

Is your writing process different depending on the genre youre writing?

Genuine Fraud is a psychological thriller, and the only other such book I have written is We Were Liars. All my other books are comedies! The thrillers have intricate plots that require more planning.

Genuine Fraud sounds a bit like an oxymoron. Do you have a favorite oxymoron?

Film producer Samuel Goldwyn is often quoted as saying, I never liked you, and I always will. My new novel is in something of the same spirit.

Genuine Fraud is another suspense novel, like your emotional bestseller We Were Liars. Can you give a hint as to the emotions readers are likely to have?

Both books have twisty plots, but with Genuine Fraud youre unlikely to need a tissue. Rather, I recommend Rolaids and seltzeryoull want a strong stomach.

Youre known for writing incredibly strong and complex female characters, particularly Frankie Landau-Banks, who is seen by many as a feminist icon. The women in Genuine Fraud seem to be in a similar vein. Do you feel you have a responsibility as a YA writer?

Thank you. I am a feminist, most certainly, but my responsibility as a novelist is not to provide role models. My responsibility is to try to write something that feels true to me on some emotional and intellectual level. I write to make a piece of narrative art that represents the inside of my head. I hope that if I have done so well enough, people will respond to it.

As its a new year, what is your advice for your readers for 2017, both for life and for aspiring writers?

Raise your voice. Its an everyday practice. As a writer, as an activist, as a friend and colleague, student or teacherraise your voice in protest, in apology, in curiosity, in praise, in self-expression.

What were some of your favorite books of 2016?

I read a lot of travel stories and novels written in the nineteenth century. I read cookbooks and middle-grade fiction and comic essays. But Genuine Fraud is a complicated portrait of an extremely difficult person, and a twisty thriller as welland here are two 2016 books I read while I was revising it that fit that same description and are incredibly juicy: Girls on Fire by Robin Wasserman is an adult novel about young women behaving more than badly, raw and gorgeous. My Sister Rosa by Justine Larbalestier is a YA novel about a boy whose younger sister is a psychopathchilling and thought-provoking.

Image: Delacorte press

It was a bloody great hotel.

The minibar in Jules room stocked potato chips and four different chocolate bars. The bathtub had bubble jets. There was an endless supply of fat towels and liquid gardenia soap. In the lobby, an elderly gentleman played Gershwin on a grand piano at four each afternoon. You could get hot clay skin treatments, if you didnt mind strangers touching you. Jules skin smelled like chlorine all day.

The Playa Grande Resort in Baja had white curtains, white tile, white carpets, and explosions of lush white flowers. The staff members were nurselike in their white cotton garments. Jule had been alone at the hotel for nearly four weeks now. She was eighteen years old.

This morning, she was running in the Playa Grande gym. She wore custom sea-green shoes with navy laces. She ran without music. She had been doing intervals for nearly an hour when a woman stepped onto the treadmill next to her.

This woman was younger than thirty. Her black hair was in a tight ponytail, slicked with hair spray. She had big arms and a solid torso, light brown skin, and a dusting of powdery blush on her cheeks. Her shoes were down at the heels and spattered with old mud.

No one else was in the gym.

Jule slowed to a walk, figuring to leave in a minute. She liked privacy, and she was pretty much done, anyway.

You training? the woman asked. She gestured at Jules digital readout. Like, for a marathon or something? The accent was Mexican American. She was probably a New Yorker raised in a Spanish-speaking neighborhood.

I ran track in secondary school. Thats all. Jules own speech was clipped, what the British call BBC English.

The woman gave her a penetrating look. I like your accent, she said. Where you from?

London. St. Johns Wood.

New York. The woman pointed to herself.

Jule stepped off the treadmill to stretch her quads.

Im here alone, the woman confided after a moment. Got in last night. I booked this hotel at the last minute. You been here long?

Its never long enough, said Jule, at a place like this. So what do you recommend? At the Playa Grande? Jule didnt often talk to other hotel guests, but she saw no harm in answering. Go on the snorkel tour, she said. I saw a bloody huge moray eel.

No kidding. An eel?

The guide tempted it with fish guts he had in a plastic milk jug. The eel swam out from the rocks. She must have been eight feet long. Bright green.

The woman shivered. I dont like eels.

You could skip it. If you scare easy.

The woman laughed. Hows the food? I didnt eat yet.

Get the chocolate cake.

For breakfast?

Oh, yeah. Theyll bring it to you special, if you ask.

Good to know. You traveling alone?

Listen, Im gonna jet, said Jule, feeling the conversation had turned personal. Cheerio. She headed for the door.

My dads crazy sick, the woman said, talking to Jules back. Ive been looking after him for a long time. A stab of sympathy. Jule stopped and turned.

Every morning and every night after work, Im with him, the woman went on. Now hes finally stable, and I wanted to get away so badly I didnt think about the price tag. Im blowing a lot of cash here I shouldnt blow.

Whats your father got?

MS, said the woman. Multiple sclerosis? And dementia. He used to be the head of our family. Very macho. Strong in all his opinions. Now hes a twisted body in a bed. He doesnt even know where he is half the time. Hes, like, asking me if Im the waitress.

Damn.

Im scared Im gonna lose him and I hate being with him, both at the same time. And when hes dead and Im an orphan, I know Im going to be sorry I took this trip away from him, dyou know? The woman stopped running and put her feet on either side of the treadmill. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. Sorry. Too much information.

Sokay.

You go on. Go shower or whatever. Maybe Ill see you around later.

The woman pushed up the arms of her long-sleeved shirt and turned to the digital readout of her treadmill. A scar wound down her right forearm, jagged, like from a knife, not clean like from an operation. There was a story there.

Listen, do you like to play trivia? Jule asked, against her better judgment.

A smile. White but crooked teeth. Im excellent at trivia, actually.

They run it every other night in the lounge downstairs, said Jule. Its pretty much rubbish. You wanna go?

What kind of rubbish?

Good rubbish. Silly and loud.

Okay. Yeah, all right.

Good, said Jule. Well kill it. Youll be glad you took a vacation. Im strong on superheroes, spy movies, YouTubers, fitness, money, makeup, and Victorian writers. What about you?

Victorian writers? Like Dickens?

Yeah, whatever. Jule felt her face flush. It suddenly seemed an odd set of things to be interested in.

I love Dickens.

Get out.

I do. The woman smiled again. Im good on Dickens, cooking, current events, politics… lets see, oh, and cats.

All right, then, said Jule. It starts at eight oclock in that lounge off the main lobby. The bar with sofas.

Eight oclock. Youre on. The woman walked over and extended her hand. Whats your name again? Im Noa.

Jule shook it. I didnt tell you my name, she said. But its Imogen.

Jule West Williams was nice-enough-looking. She hardly ever got labeled ugly, nor was she commonly labeled hot. She was short, only five foot one, and carried herself with an up-tilted chin. Her hair was in a gamine cut, streaked blond in a salon and currently showing dark roots. Green eyes, white skin, light freckles. In most of her clothes, you couldnt see the strength of her frame. Jule had muscles that puffed off her bones in powerful arcslike shed been drawn by a comic book artist, especially in the legs. There was a hard panel of abdominal muscle under a layer of fat in her midsection. She liked to eat meat and salt and chocolate and grease.

Jule believed that the more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.

She believed that the best way to avoid having your heart broken was to pretend you dont have one.

She believed that the way you speak is often more important than anything you have to say.

She also believed in action movies, weight training, the power of makeup, memorization, equal rights, and the idea that YouTube videos can teach you a million things you wont learn in college.

If she trusted you, Jule would tell you she went to Stanford for a year on a track-and-field scholarship. I got recruited, she explained to people she liked. Stanford is Division One. The school gave me money for tuition, books, all that.

What happened?

Jule might shrug. I wanted to study Victorian literature and sociology, but the head coach was a perv, shed say. Touching all the girls. When he got around to me, I kicked him where it counts and told everybody who would listen. Professors, students, the Stanford Daily. I shouted it to the top of the stupid ivory tower, but you know what happens to athletes who tell tales on their coaches.

Excerpt copyright 2017 by E. Lockhart. Published by Delacorte Press, an imprint of Random House Childrens Books, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.

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from Exclusive: Bestselling author E. Lockhart to publish a new YA novel