#oh my god and fukin Zacharie he was so cool too!!

[the-pit-of-space]

my official dnd story

((CUT TO THE 4TH PARAGRAPH FROM THE BOTTOM FOR THE ACTUAL 'JOKE' I JUST NEEDED TO PROVIDE SOME CONTEXT))

hey so with all the adventure zone graduation stuff happenin ((sidenote its AMAZING so far MWAH)) i was reminded of my first and so far only dnd group that actually played dnd.

(not, because they were bad, they were super chill, ive just never had a chance to join another, but im always looking. hi, im tea and im open to joini-)

ANYWAY!! a bit of backstory on this group. there were four people, including me (tea), and for the sake of privacy well call them uhh,, A, B and C. i cant think of any good fake names rn jfjghd

so A was our DM, and he was So Goddam Good. the whole campaign was homebrew, using 5e mechanics nd stuff, and oh my GOD i loved it so MUCH!!! the world was so detailed too, it was goddamn amazing.

he'd run this campain before for different players, with uh, varying levels of success and cooperation, and was looking for a new group via craigslist!!

surprisingly, this Isnt where i come in

B and C were a couple, and B reached out to A and yada yada yada They Decided To Play Together

but, they needed at least one more person.

HERE is where i come in. i had recently joined a dnd discord, and dndiscord if u will, looking for a group. B posted he was looking for someone to play in [REDACTED], A [REDACTED], USA, where i happen to live, and so i answered!!

((ill give u a hint its hot as shit where i am))

next thing i know, we're all chatting in our own little groupchat, and are set to meet up at a coffee shop later that week!!

lets, uh, skip ahead a bit, actually, or else ill tell the whole thing day by day

(though, fun to note, i am and was Teen, and they were Adult, and were uh. Very Shocked when they found out i was Teen at the coffee shop)

so lets run down their characters, hey?

i had BONES, pronounced like justin mcelroy telling you what the first haunted doll watch doll is made of. he was a half-elf bard, formerly part of a travelling circus, and had a degree in both Dumbassery and Clownery

B had,,, A Character, certainly!! i uh. for the Life of me cant remember his characters name now, or at least how to spell it, so,, ill describe him!! he was a homebrew race, a big bipedal elephant man, and despite popular belief was a cleric!! he had the braincell of the party, most of the time

C had Craig, who i to this day love with all my heart. Craig was another homebrew race, a cricket-based alien, whose planet was hyper capitalist and specialized in vacation getaways. he gave off Huge hitchhikers guide to the galaxy vibes, in the Best way. he claims he was a professional at dumbassery, but if theres a degree on his wall, i havent seen it

and, uh, A was our DM, so. thats all the characters.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH TAZ GRADUATION, i hear you ask?? IS THE ONLY CORRELATION THE FACT THAT YOU WERE PLAYING DND??

nope!!! you see, the very Second justin spoke as his character, i swear to the Lord it was Elephant Friend all over again.

you see, while he Did tell us his name, by george were Craig and BONES dumbasses, so they did Not remember.

theres, uh. actually a pretty Iconique scene, if i do say so myself, where BONES and Craig were looking for Elephant Friend. the other context both isnt important and would take too long to explain. so! BONES, being a fukin,,, Dingus Wingus, just starts calling out 'FRIEND?' and Craig joins in.

so there we were. walkin through the abandoned streets, just yellin friend at the top of our lungs, trying to find our Elephant Man.

it turned out he had gotten bitch-slapped nearly to death by an old lady ghost.

and thats my official dnd story!! uhh if this,, Intrigues you, blease ask me more abt this campaign i miss it so much crAIG IF UR OUT THERE-