#oh my god theres also the joke undertale au

[peaterookie]

to date me you have to defeat my 7 evil lupin aus

[eightbowlsofspaghetti]

Hi! I’m too scared to come off anon but I really wanted to say that I love all your posts and you seem so friendly! I’m too awkward to message you to chat and I’m so far away from being good at making friends. However, I hope you have a wonderful day, week, and year! Basically all the days to come and please, don’t stop shitposting. Love you! ;) Seriously you’re really cool I wish I could pull that off :’)

this is probably one of the nicest messages ive ever gotten and for that i bring you this long ass gift:

i have NO IDEA what im doing and i can guarantee that your bitchass can pull it off if you follow spaghetti’s guide to internet fame:

post SOMETHING about kiribaku

just keep making posts until one of them gets popular

if you get hate it means you’re popular enough to get hate. brush it off and keep going bitch everyone but that hoe loves you

do not make a discord server and ask your followers to join. i made this mistake once. DONT FUCKING DO IT

use the words “minecraft” and “gay” in the same post

stan iida

keep your blog about 60% reblogs and 40% original posts

if you have an au idea, FUCKING POST IT

if you have ANY ideas, FUCKING POST IT

if you don’t have any ideas, make a “relatable writers” post about not having ideas

eat ass smoke grass and sled fast

you are allowed to comment on posts you reblog but do this very rarely. it is not outlawed just frowned upon. if you don’t have something FUCKING KILLER to say, don’t say it. make your own post

if you have a pet, talk about them. always

post about whatever makes you happy because chances are youre not the only motherfucker with that hyperfixation

shit on staff as much as possible

be gay

you arent allowed to have any fun

slam v*ltron

slam h*mest*ck (i say this and my girlfriend reads homestuck)

slamming undertale is risky but if you slam sans in particular then you’re good

slam my little pony (i say this even though my OTHER girlfriend likes my little pony) fucking slam it

praise minecraft

slam notch

thirst over herobrine

if you don’t understand the last two then im sorry you’re not cut out for tumblr fame

praise she-ra and the dragon prince as much as possible

STAN HAYLEY KIYOKO

STAN HER

WORSHIP LESBIAN JESUS

dont participate in any fandom discourse (fandoms to avoid getting into discouse with: bnha, bnha, and bnha. also bnha)

dont talk about bnha discourse theres too much and its too confusing

if you wanna make bnha posts stay on the shitposting side of the fandom

slam superwholock

praise john mulaney

you can never go wrong with mlm/wlw soliditary jokes

“i stan (catradora/glimmadora) but i love and respect (catradora/glimmadora shippers” are the best kind of posts

for the love of god dont fucking make posts about fake stories

dont send anon hate. its a waste of time. and makes you look bad

“oh my god they were roommates”

quote “dont mine at night” at ang possible moment

SLAM TRUMP

you know i had to do it to em memes are Great

if you have them, abuse your photoshop powers

be nice to your followers

unless you make a discord server with them and realize theyre dumb shitheads but then youve failed step 4

fucking roast them if you do that

cursed images are great but cursed answers to asks? even better

FUCK TAG SYSTEMS

unless you’re putting trigger warnings, then keep your trigger tags consistent

people will really appreciate trigger warning tags

writing in lists is more likely to get peoples attention than in long paragraphs

stan entrapta

slam riverdale

sexuality and gender headcanons are the absolute best. they might not get you popular but they do attract the best kinds of people to your posts. these people interpret characters the same way you do, and can help you out in the future. plus new friends

if your url relates to a fandom then change it. your hyperfixations can and will change and you gotta stick to a brand name (ex: gaud, spaghetti, that one wholesome fish blog)

triangle hate posts dont ever get popular but i will appreciate them because i fucking hate triangles. not love triangles (although i hate those too because they shit on polyamorous relationships, and as someone who is currently IN a poly relationship, fuck that) i’m talking about trigonometry. soh cah toa. the pythagorean theorem. FUCKING SLAM IT

slam antivaxxers

slam conservatives

slam MAGA

slam the US government

communism jokes are all fun and games until you bring up the USSR. communism jokes are funny just don’t go too far

DONT MAKE A HOLOCAUST JOKE. IM A JEW TAKE IT FROM ME THAT JEWS AND ANYONE THAT ISNT AN ASS WILL HATE YOU FOR IT.

im just trying to get to 69 at this point

mention that number as much as possible

and 420

come on

come on

come on

nice

thats it thats how you get tumblr famous just 69 easy(ish) steps