#ok i hope that a) tumblr isnt a bitch and actually posts this while im sleeping and b) i havent fucked up the queue

[samscompliment]

hi neve let’s chat<3 i’ll do 1 and 19 pls

hiiiii camilla <33333

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

ok i already said the lovers choice for this one so instead im going to use my answer spot here to say that every day i think about your nb dean fic and hope to read it<3 like no pressure or anything but i would totally read it in its work in progress state if that was an option. its my white whale. nb dean forever and ever and ever

19. if you could write an ideal fic, what would it include?

ok this is fun and also i talked forever so im gonna put this under a cut. so sorry you literally didnt ask for this but i simply dont know when to shut up i love writing soooooo much<3

so like to answer this one u have to understand that the lovers choise was my ultimate spn fix it but i wrote it while i was still on s7. you know???? it was so informed by early seasons spn and what i knew about the late seasons from tumblr and now i look at it and i go "um well cas definitely didnt know dean was in love with him and dean definitely DID know that he was in love so this is all wrong isnt it". like i do still love the first chapter a LOT but the rest of it. idk. so my ideal fic now would be a new spn fix it. bc i have. Thoughts. about what i need from a fix it having now seen s15.

i have this concept for a somewhat written fic that is told in two parts, one from cas' pov and one from dean's, and it is literally just the worst thing ever because the same things happen in both fics but they just interpret each other soooo badly. like i just cannot get over the miscommunication that happens in the show and ideally i would love to actually wrestle with that bc i say all the time that i think its their biggest roadblock and so i would love to actually deconstruct it one day. and it would have to include literally everything i feel ab them post s15, in the same way that tlc had to include everything i was feeling about them at the time. which now would be, like: dean letting go of his control issues, dean apologising to jack, unpacking all the John Stuff, crowley causing problems on purpose, some good old fashioned betrayal, a bit of godstiel thrown in, cas actually getting what he wants for once. and like i really really want to give cas his buffy s6 arc. idk if that means anything to you but i really want cas to have been genuinely at peace in the empty and then be brought back to life to a dean who is NOT ready to play happy families and for cas to be like WHAT the fuck. like he was literally never going to have to deal with the consequences of his actions and it was great but then DEAN brought him back and DEAN didn’t bring it up and in doing so he both REJECTED and DISMISSED miette. and so cas is like well FUCK you then im going to be a bitch. idk. im going to stop talking now. sorry for writing an essay that could have been 2 sentences. i love you <3

[andypartridges]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILLIANE @anniewaits <333

hbd to my partner in squeezebossing !!! here's a vaguely difford and tilbrook themed fancam to celebrate <3 i genuinely considered making a bearded glenn fancam but the psychic damage would've been too much to handle. there is an incredibly soppy message under the cut bc i love to talk <3

*cracks knuckles* *winces bc i cant crack my knuckles* alright it's sentimental hours. fr this year has been one of the hardest in my whole life but i genuinely mean it when i say that your messages and chatting and squeeze watchpartying with you has made it so much better. reading through our tumblr convos is one of the highlights of my day and a main source of serotonin. you are honest to god so funny that sometimes ppl have actually asked me what i'm laughing at on my phone and idk how to explain that my bestie from 4000 km away has just sent me an idiotic meme about a fruit we're in love with. on top of your god tier meme abilities you are just so so SO incredibly talented at journaling and drawing i love seeing your glenn and chris doodles they're so cute !! when you posted the squeeze zine i looked at it like. 657473 times and then shoved it in my dad's face and i was like 'look what my friend made!!!!!'

every day i'm so glad i decided to take a chance and message you when i saw your screencaps of glenn on my dash for the first time. i had no idea it would lead to one of the best online friendships i've ever made and dear god it sounds stupidly cheesy but i feel like we've known each other for ages even though it's only been a handful of months. putting squeeze aside for a sec just being your friend in itself has made me a lot happier this year and i really hope one day we can meet, even if i have to swim to the philippines and/or somehow ship you to australia and/or singlehandedly stop a global pandemic. honestly it's not even just squeeze that makes me think of you like. i see back to the future stuff or michael j fox stuff or aztec camera or weezer or ben folds five and my brain just goes. hey there's a thing that williane likes :-) AND on top of that i always think of sweets for a stranger as Williane's Album tm. guess you just live in my mind rent free <3

anyways i hope you have a really nice birthday and get some epic squeeze drip because you absolutely deserve it. thanks for carrying this fandom on your back and talking with me and even just checking in to see how i'm doing like. it means the absolute fucking world !!!!! ilysm squeezie <333

[tumblunni]

aaaaaugh that was a weird adventure of a normal thing seriously wtf how did I Almost Die from just trying to pay my electricity bills?? the electricity went out at midnight and I was having a WHOPPING GIANT MIGRAINE and seriously i suck at talking to cashiers on the best of days but now i have to call a taxi at midnight and sit there feeling awkward for like half an hour while the guy drives me several miles away to the only electricity place thats open 24/7 and like five minutes in i realized OH SHIT THIS MIGRAINE IS MORE SERIOUS THAN I EXPECTED but like i was trapped in a car and trapped in an awkward social situation! so i was here all dizzy and disassociating and like it felt like the window was a computer screen?? cos im nearsighted a lot and of course its gonna get even worse when i have a dizzy migraine of death doom. i was just so out of it with pain and tiredness and the car shaking me about and just it felt like i wasnt really there but i was still in my house just watching all this on the tv or something. i had to look down at my hands cos they were the only non blurry thing, i had to remind myself that i actually existed and wasnt somehow being erased from the world and replaced by a film reel of some guy sitting in a car?? So I am like Absolutely Fucking Nonfunctional here, and being acutely aware of how i forgot to wear my glasses and apparantly also my socks. Tho in my defense it would have been hard to put them on in the dark anyway! and seriously THIS POOR CAB GUY! like it seemed english wasnt his first language and i felt so bad cos like how can i make it clear that I am the one messing up here?? dude you didnt mishear me i really am slurring everything i say and forgetting half the dictionary. HE WAS SO NICE! I wish i could have like.. been able to register any of his individual faceparts as a coherant whole. I have problems with prosopagnosia even on a good day, but like whoa man i did not have the energy left to concentrate on what this guy even looked like. i feel bad cos i dont know his name either, im gonna remember him as just this big helpful shadow void with a nice accent. HOW DID YOU PUT UP WITH ME EMBARASSING MYSELF SO MUCH, YOU WONDERFUL CABMAN actaully wait do you call them cabs in america aa im sorry this post isnt very america translated i try and generally self-correct to america english cos i know like 90% of my followers seems to be america for some reason i do not understand HELLO AMERICDA FRIENDS TODAY okay so i was Dying in a taxi which is also called a cab, and the company was Capital Cabs which is very good and i love them and they have an automated system so you dont have to talk on the phone and seriously that cut like 50% of terror from this terror day SO ANYWAY I WAS DYING we go all over the place looking for the 24 hours electric place, and then for some reason they are closed?? there was a line outside and i think actually the doors got stuck and the cashiers couldnt get out??? what happened?? i guess i will never know cos i had to leave that mini story behind and find another electric hilariously we found one LITERALLY ACROSS THE ROAD there was THE SAME SHOP ACROSS THE ROAD FACING EACH OTHER MIRROR IMAGE WHAT like seriously fuck im already in a dizzy daze floating halfway out my own body like i didnt need any more evidence im currently in wonderland i want to know this story too, dammit! are those rival stores?? of the same brand?? somehow?? or are they owned by the same person?? because why?? is it like the area was so in-demand of small 24/7 shops that they had to make two within five metres of each other? or is it like they’re the same shop but they didnt have enough space to build the full size they wanted so they purchased two smaller land plots? or something? DID IT JUST EXIST FOR THIS SPECIFIC CIRCUMSTANCE OF ME NEEDING THE SHOP WHEN THE SHOP IS CLOSED “tumblr blogger tumblunni will show up fuckin migraine stoned on the 9th of november, as the prophecy foretold” omg i just mispelled prophecy as prophey and that sounds like a cute ass oc name holy shit ANYWAY im here dissacoiating my ass off and trying and failing to stick my debit card in the card machine and all the time im like FUCKIN OBSESSING over how sauboh is a really better name. Like faba is still a cute name but sauboh is a COOL name! no name is better than sauboh! and why u wanna this evil man have a cute name anyway?? when u be all cruel in the anime and sand off even the slightest non horrible edges he ever had, like seriously im unreasonably upset that everyone hates faba even more now. when will i get my sneaky science grandpa guy who is not evil for once but merely misunderstood and then i adopt him and hug him many and the all is resolved so yeah im fuckin haviung trouble focusing on what im actually doing jesus christ then i stumble into the store and i pay for my electric and im like ‘no no no fucking shit this migraine is WAY worse than i expected, im going to fucking die’ so i ask if they have any paracetamol but i cant remember the word for paracetamol and its all super embarassing. and like THE GUY LOOKS AT ME AS IF IM CRAZY. He’s all ‘ugh why would we have that, geez’. like wtf?? i mean i know i couldnt remember the name of it but i said ‘headache medicine’ so im sure he understood what i meant. i had a long rambling discussion with the taxi man about how weird that was, he was like ‘no, seriously EVERY 24 hour newsagent sells that stuff’ and i was like ‘no seriously he was rude to me for asking, like wtf’ and then i repeated the story about three more times cos i was currently in the throes of brain death in retrospect maybe the cashier thought i was drunk or something?? or high? i mean you cant get high from headache pills but i dunno maybe they mix badly with booze and he thought he was saving my life. i like to think the best of people! i wish i hadnt jumped to the grumpy conclusion during that moment and then whined like a lil bitch to this poor cab man and seriously he was SO NICE! he was like ‘dude seriously we’d have to drive anothr five miles to find another newsagent shop, im trying to save you money’ and he tried to give me some of the paracetamol he had in his wallet and i was like YOURE SO FUCKIN NICE IM DYING, I COULD NEVER ACCEPT THAT but also in retrospect probably that was a good decision cos even if the guy seemed super nice and trustable its like Good Life Policy to not take medicine from people you don’t know. I am 100% sure tho that he actually was genuine and wasnt gonna fuckin murder me with fakeacetamol HE WAS SO NICE! HIM AND HIS NONDESCRIPT FACIAL REGION! why cant i remember ANYTHING about this man oh and also I was able to give some money to a lady on the street!! i don’t know if she was actually homeless, she said that she had some trouble with a hotel booking or something so she was just stuck sleeping outside for the night. i cant remember if she had any luggage so i cant verify if the story is true, it just made me really sad wondering if it WASNT true and its like she needed to lie or people wouldnt give her money?? like seriously homeless people are the most vunerable yet theyre the ones people have the least sympathy for! wtf having to like like ‘i need the money less’... anyway i also couldnt remember her face and was kinda slurring my words to death and i didnt have much money to give but aaaa i hope i helped!! so yeah fuckin SMASH CUT to the next newsagent place and seriously i swear i blacked out for a minute cos it was just like wow we’re there in 48 seconds yet the clock says a bunch more miles and THEY HAD PARACETALMOL AND I WAS FUCKIN CRYING IN A SPAR MART thenk u cashier man who was probablyh very confused at this guy with no socks also for some reason my mind was wandering to the topic of what i’d do if i got misgendered in a cinema, like holding this fuckin entire fictional argument with this manifestation of my own self doubt WHAT EVEN INSPIRED THAT THOUGHT PROCESS so i’m nigh passing out and the nice cab man takes me home and he tries to make me pay less than the fee on the clock and im like NO DUDE IT WAS MY OWN CHOICE TO GO 2 PARACETAMOL SHOP seriously he was SO NICE why cant i remember his faaaaaace and i usually like to give a tip to the taxi guy even though tipping isnt really a thing in my country cos just i feel like Being Nice Is Nice and i want to thank them for their nice but i DIDNT HAVE ANY MORE MONEY LEFT so aaaa i was only able to give him an extra £0.50 but thank you taxi man i hope you have a good night and good life and the universe rewards you for helping a migraine fucked bunbun this eve and now ive shoved medicines in my fave and im just waiting for them to kick in and i know i should eat something but i feel so nauseous aaarglefargle also nice taxi man told me a story about how the same thing happened to him once except the electric went out while he was in the shower. So he just got blasted by cold water AND had to stumble down the stairs in the dark, and then friggin buy electric while his ears were still fulla soap. Whoa dude your bravery in face of embarassment exceeds my own! i love you platonically mr cab man thanks for making me feel less nervous and such while i was Die so yeah hopefully i will be less die soon ok bye also sauboh is a best name and i need to steal it for an oc or something NINTEND U LET IT SLIP AWAY

[b00bstone]

half the ask the blogger questions please u can pick which ones

so i think this is half

2. If you could have dinner with any 3 living or dead people, who would they be and why?

my moms dad. because he was apparently bi. and my mom doesnt talk about him a lot so im curious. 2. van gogh. i feel like we would get along. we are both depressed and wanna die. and like to paint. altho hes wayyyy better than i could ever hope to be. and 3. celestine. i really fucking miss her. 

3. What makes you laugh?

not a lot tbh. my sense of humour doesnt make a lot of sense but thomas sanders usually does. 

9. What do you like to do on the weekends?

sleep and cry. 

13. Tell me one surprising fact about you.

i like exercising. i dont do it because i never have energy but when i do (as long as its something fun like biking or hiking or swimming) then i really enjoy it. 

the rest is under a readmore  because this post is long af and it gets kinda depressing... (i hope i did it right)

15. What were you like as a child?

not much different than i am now. annoying and selfish. 

16. What are some things on your bucket list?

i wanna go to space (which is crazy for someone whose two main fears are heights and the dark)

i wanna kiss someone really cute and have that feeling that all those poems and songs and books and movies talk about. the magical one. 

i wanna get married. like the white dress and the reception and everything. 

i wanna go to pride parade.

i wanna go to a gay bar

i wanna be so in love with someone that it makes everyone else simultaneously jealous and hopeful. like of course someone that loves me back too. 

i wanna live somewhere like seattle. 

i wanna go see a broadway musical in person. 

i wanna go to a concert

i wanna have REALLY  great sex. 

i wanna travel the world. 

and ill end it there or it could go on for years. then this post would get REALLY long. 

23. If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be and why?

its ur life. do with it whatever the fuck u want. and if people object then flip the bird at them and say fuck u i only get one of these and ill live it how i please. because maybe if younger me had heard that id be braver and actually be able to find in me the courage to leave this house behind and carve out my own little hole in this world. 

24. If you were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring one thing, what would it be?

a plane fully stocked with fuel and a pilot. the pilot comes with the plane and the fuel so it all counts as one thing.

29. What would you do if you won a million dollars?

buy myself a house far away from everything and everyone and move all my fav people there and their fav people and just chill there for a while. 

30. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

the ability to get a rough idea of the future. like good or bad. u know. 

32. What actor or actress would star as you in a movie about your life?

Imelda Staunton

34. If you could trade lives with anyone else for one day, who would you trade with?

trump. one day is all id need. 

39. Are you a picky eater?

yes. i hate meat. i always have. and as a little kid i didnt even know how animals were treated. i just hate the taste. adn i hate cooked veggies. raw veggies are ok but cooked ones are gross. and spinach is gross. and there are a ton of other stuff i could list 

41. What beverage do you consume most often?

energy drinks. i had like 5 today. 

42. What is the first thing you wash in the shower?

hair. 

44. How are you feeling right now?

sad.

48. Do you love yourself?

fuck no. 

49. When was the last time you cried and why?

like 5 seconds ago. because im depressed and hate myself. 

53. Have you ever flown in an airplane?

yeah. i was terrified of it as a little kid. 

55. Are your parents or guardians strict?

well the only people i know whose parents are worse than mine on the strictness scale i recently realized have abusive parents so id say yes. they are rather strict. 

57. Have you ever been in love?

yeah. requited love? nah.

58. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

the only time it is acceptable to bite ice cream is if it is in sandwich form. 

59. Did the one person who hurt you most in your life ever apologize?

no i still havent apologized to myself yet. 

60. What are some of your turn-ons?

confidence. but like humble confidence. vulnerability. being into me. 

61. What are some of your turn-offs?

cockiness. being an asshole. not being into me. 

63. What are you thinking about right now?

my turn ons and offs and how much i hate myself.

65. Do you ever illegally download entertainment such as music, movies, etc.?

… ok so if ur from the FBI i need u to look away. ok now that the FBI isnt reading this. yeah i illegally stream movies and tv shows. not so much music tho. ok FBI u can continue reading now. 

66. What is your zodiac sign?

cancer

67. Do you believe in karma or predestiny?

i dont know. i mean it makes sense. karma that is. predestiny is kinda depressing but i was raised in a very christian enviroment and the bible is confusing on that. so i dont really believe in it because then like my reason for living outside of people and my dog is almost completely gone.

68. Is there anything you want to say to anyone right now?

to my romantic soulmate: if ur out tehre come find me bitch. im lonely and want someone to kiss. 

70. What is your stance on abortion?

i think its not my decision to make for other people. i dont think i would eget one personally but if someone else wants to then thats their choice and they should be allowed to make it. 

71. Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah. it just seems plausible. 

75. What do you daydream about?

having friends. and a bf/gf. being happy and seeing my friends and boyfriend or girlfriend all the time. not living here. i also fantasize about killing myself sometimes. or just dying in general. but its mostly about having friends and a significant other.

76. Where do you want to live after retirement?

i dunno. maybe switch between hawaii and alaska. or just hawaii with occassional trips to alaska.

77. What would you change your first name to?

joseph. 

78. If you believe in a God or Higher Power, what one question would you want to ask Him or Her?

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!?! theyd get what i mean. 

82. What do you worry about most?

being alone forever and everyone hating me as much as i hate me

83. When was the last time you tried something new and what was it?

last weekend. it was food. 

84. Who do you compare yourself to?

lots of people, one person specifically whose name we will not use tho is blub. im not gonna give away any info on this person. but i kinda hate them for no reason. theyre a nice person that i barely know but i hate them and theyre so much better than me. which is part of why i hate them. 

86. What five words would you use to describe your personality?

annoying. needy. selfish. weird. ew. 

89. If not now, then when?

good question. when someone wants to date me. 

90. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?

yeah 

91. What activities make you lose track of time?

talking to friends. crying. sleeping. 

93. What is your biggest regret?

not dying earlier? 

95. Are you a messy person or a clean person?

messy messy messy. 

97. How tall are you?

like 5.5 o5 5.6

98. What is your guilty pleasure?

eating a ton of cheetos. and also using bathbombs and facemasks. 

99. Do you prefer sweet or salty?

lately salty more. but my fav is cheesy.

100. What is your favorite social media website?

tumblr is a hellsite but probably tumblr. 

                                                                                                                       thanks for asking my depressed ass some questions!

[survivorindia]

Playing with Jordan Pines is like playing with knives- Sarah (Episode 5)

I'm sorry Bernel had to leave like that and I really hope everything's okay with him, but in a way, it may very well be a secret savior. Not enough talking was done up until that point so I have no idea who would've left - Robin assured me she didn't want Lexi or I gone and that OG whatever the hell our tribe name was should stick together, and Julia/Alex and I were on call for the challenge and agreed we didn't want any of us to go since we're arguably the most active and we certainly helped the most with the movie, but even then... I can't say my social game is top notch. I'm simply not built to be a social player, I lack all the skills necessary. But luckily some people on here ain't active enough that I can cover up my own discrepancies with their lack of appearance. There's other fish to fry yet, and hopefully I can live to see the jury...

W'elp, the lacklusterishness has come back to bite me. I've gotta approach everyone I talk to, and the two people I don't approach constantly throw my name out. The tribe's turning like eggs on a hot summer day. That's no bueno, no bueno at all...

Luckily, Alex and Julia are hopefully going to help me 'ere. They're attempting to convince them to split the votes on probs Jaiden and I, and then we strike. We can flip this - failure's not an option, because failure means my head on the guillotine. No second chances.

Jaiden's down for rocks, it seems, if it comes down to it. Robin's promised to not vote me. So I think I should be able to live here... I hope so... I'm too young to die.

I do think enough people will vote dom out, and than again I don't because the plan is highkey messy. Like there is literally a 4/4 split in our tribe as of now. It's me, alex, jaiden, and Johnny on the best side, and the other is the losers. But if we lie to them correctly we can get them to split their votes and than we vote the majoirty with hope the vote turns out as 4-2-2

I'm absolutely freaking out right about now. This vote is terrifiying me and I don't want to leave. Like I don't know what is going to happen like this is all going to be so insane. I'm playing with people who could, or could not be messy as hell. Like I need some sort of security, and when I don't feel grounded I get worried. And that is all because I'm a Taurus which is down to Earth, and I dont feel comfortable when I don't feel like I'm in a secure situation, or know what will happen. And right now I CANNOT let my nerves get the best of me, I won't let it happen. I just want to be able to say I made TS Jury, and even more my next goal if I made the jury would to be to take it to the end of this game with Sarah. Because that would be the best situation to be put in because I would feel like I did something good and memorable in this game. And I just don't want to keep having my chances jeopardized. Like I never thought this game was going to be THAT HARD. Like I was booted very early in Bangladesh and I cannot LET that happen again. I just want to do good. And I have no idea if I can trust going to rocks, I will be so terrifiyed of being eliminated, and that would suck. I just don't know what to do im at my mental point where Jazmine is about to come out and we all know that does not need to happen at all.

: I'm legit so sick of this tribe what the hell. So we lost the first challenge which would have been a super easy challenge to win if people actually participated and were more hands on, than we loose this and it could have been executed better by other tribe members if they did the challenge more diligently. And my score of 7 is an overall average score so that shows that I still want to be here. Unlike these lazy idiots who jeopardize my game every three days because their lazy asses can't put forth 30 mins of their time tops to actually try in a challenge. This is tumblr survivor bitches, so maybe you should get your shit together instead of me having to suffer because most of you are lazy messes. And that goes to dom, jaiden, Robin, and Lexi. Fuck you guys right now I'm so mad. 

So we won the challenge which is nice. I think I am in a decent spot on this tribe tbh due to us having an innactive player and me being pretty decently connected to people. I'm sort of in a few alliances though we don't really have any chats, like I'm in an alliance with Sarah and Julia and I'm in a returnee alliance on our tribe of Me, Sarah, Kendall, Gavin and Ashley. I like to think I am going to be in a decent spot going forward. We haven't had to go to tribal on this tribe but Whitney sort of disappeared so I am sure if we lose she would be the one to go 100%. I think things are good right now.

I guess we are going to rocks tonight. I don't know what to say. Sorry Dom but you won't speak to me about this. I told you. I hope I get rocked out tonight. For once, I didn't want to make a big move. If Dom plays his idol and exposes my betrayal, then at least I can say that I knew this was coming.

http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/mreidjr/78051217/7913/7913_900.gif So I just went on call with Dom. And you know what he told me? He said that Sarah and Julia have told him everything I said about him. From how I felt like he was too much, how I didn't like him at all, how I wanted to use him to get further in the game. All that shit. That's why I voted for him, according to them. It's real funny because for a while, I did believe those things to be true. Sarah was the first person I talked to about all that. I thought she was my friend, I really did. But I see why she's on the villains tribe, because she's a heartless, cold-blooded viper. The entire Dom vote came as a result of her and Julia wanting him gone. Certainly, I didn't help with them coming to that decision, but it's become evident to me that this is the person everyone parades around and claims to be best friends with. We talk about that Bangladesh final tribal where Sarah cries over how Eddie betrayed her so badly, but then here she is, acting like a complete hypocrite. She can say that these two situations are not the same, which they are not, but the knife she plunged into my back burns the same. I can't say that I didn't see this coming. I fucked up, so it makes sense why everything spilled out in front of me on the dirt floor. Now I have to work on making people like me again, because I don't think they'll trust me for a while. We can say that I have a long road ahead before I can regain their trust, but the truth is that I have a much steeper path to the finish than before. They might not ever trust me, so I need to give them a reason to understand me. I don't know how, but I'll try. I'll take the knife that was firmly planted in my back and return it to its rightful owner one day. I did these things for her, and while she was always on my hit list, no matter that she was low, I think she's found her way to the top. Karma is a bitch, and so is she. Maybe I won't win this fight, but I think I'll die trying, and I'm at peace with that.

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ @ Johnny potentially going home. If he doesn't, well...┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

Ok so more happened after that video, so i went on call with julia and we talked about how she thinks jaiden doesnt want to work with her and wants to lowkey work with dom but then jaiden called me, and SPILLED TEA THAT DOM HAS THE IDOL ...SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER And he still wants dom out so i lowkey forced jaiden on julia, alex and johnny and thats half their tribe..So then they need one more person. But they came up with amazing idea to scare the other side...dom,ruben,lexi and robin that johnny has the idol bc all those 4 ppl want to vote him out...SO IF THOSE 4 SPLIT THE VOTE BC THEYRE SCARED OF AN IDOL THEN THEY WOULD BE MAJORITY AND HONESTLY IM HERE FOR IT. I WANT DOM GONE AND I WANT TO WORK WITHJOHNNY, JULIA, JAIDEN AND ALEX IN MERGE OR COME SWAP SO BAD !!! im so nervous for them but excited at the same time :~) also julia and i came up with a name for just us and u can now call us Salia ....ISNT THAT CUTE FUCKCKODKSJF

So as far as my tribe goes: From what I know, Jordan has the idol. In addition to that, Dom also has the idol. I have supposed to not tell anyone about what Jordan tells me. Everything I know goes straight to Alex or to Ashley to ensure that those bonds stay solid. As of now, I've been trying to keep relations open with everyone on my tribe, especially Liam because keeping Liam safe premerge shows Johnny post merge that I'm trustworthy. So what I've told Liam is that Jordan and a few others have the idea of a returnees alliance and that he might be on the chopping block, though I reassured him that is not the reality of the matter. If he seems to be going home, I am open to flipping against the returnees. So that's where I stand right now, I have my Ashley relationship which branches out to Casey. I have my Liam relationship which branches out to Johnny. I have my Jordan Pines relationship which branches out to Sarah and Dom. So all in all, I feel safe on my tribe. And I believe that Whitney will be the first to go if we head to tribal.

Other Tribe Thoughts: So my main ally in this game is Alex, I trust him more than anybody else. What I need to be weary of is that he has a great social game which may prove to be an issue for my game further down the line. In the short term, I still want to work in his best interest which tend to align with my best interest. Because of that, I've continued to talk to him, despite being on different tribes. I told Alex as soon as I found out about Dom's idol. He's now looking closely at who Dom is aligned with as we move closely towards this tribal. The issue is is that Dom seems to be close with Jaiden and Ruben. With Ruben dating Lexi, and that right there is 4 people. So it doesn't look like Dom will go home unless Alex can pull a fast one on Dom. I plan to now get on a call with Alex, to find out what is going on presently in the Parvati tribe, but Dom going home is the best case scenario for me for the following reasons Dom is close with Jordan Dom is close with Jaiden Jaiden and Jordan have one less ally, and one more friend in me to depend on and that helps me from a social standpoint. Furthermore, any blood falls on Alex's hands and not minds since he will be exectuing the final action. lastly we get rid of an idol. that could hurt me down the line.

Alex is going for the jugular this round. I hope Johnny stays... hasta la vista Dom ;) Also, PINES, you're a scary player. Please implode sooner rather than later ^__^

LITERALLY I'M ON TRIBAL CALL RIGHT NOW. I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO BE VOTED OUT. DOM TOLD ME HE DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THE VOTE, RUBEN TOLD ME HE TOLD DOM ABOUT THE VOTE. REGAN SAID SHE ALREADY HAD THE VOTES WHICH MEANS DOM IS A LIAR AND SO IS RUBEN IF I'M OUT I WILL COMMIT

So real life has gotten in the way and I’m a ball of depression so I have no idea where I left off. Therefore, I will recap the first two tribals in this confessional. Aidan left after voting me which was not surprising since he was acting suspicious and I heard Monte was planning on keeping him and ridding the tribe of me after that. I had thrown him a lifeline by telling him the group wanted him out and I would vote with him so if he had just brought himself, Monte and I together that would be a tie at least and I believe I could have possibly gotten Ruben to vote with me. Alas, he did not do that and lied to me while getting voted out unanimously. Steven was rocked out on the other newbie tribe which was crazy for a first tribal? No idea whatsoever of what’s happening over there so let’s move on. If I keep showing up for challenges then I believe that I could make it through a little while longer until a swap where I can hope they target bigger threats and I can hide. Still no luck on finding that idol; the grid is huge but someone could possibly have it already?

Monte left unanimously which was a relief and from the other villains tribe, Ace got the boot which I have no opinion on since it was unanimous and I have no clue as to who he is. Here I am, slaving away, trying to make sure our tribe does not go to tribal by doing the challenge all by myself. I have enough votes for a tie so why do I care at all if Casey does not care to stay, we shall never know. Well I do know, but that takes away from my needed dramatic statement. I just don’t care to lose my mind once more at a tribal. The challenge came down to who submitted quickly and I submitted at the perfect time and won us the challenge. The returnee villains were fuming but if they had an issue with the way it was going to be submitted then they had more than enough time to voice their concerns which they did not until they had lost. I can finally relax for once and just watch as others get taken out.

Nicole got the boot which is a bit unfortunate as I believe I could have worked with her as we are in another game together. Although, she never responds to any messages at times as I found out from that other game which makes me uneasy when I am trying to decipher if she is with me or against me. She came off as a brat to the other returnee villains is what I was told but I did not pay close enough attention to that situation to have an opinion. ~~~Swap time~~~ We have 4 newbies against 5 returnees and 4 villains against 5 heroes so as you can probably do the math, I, Lexi, am in minority, no matter which way you spin it. Jordan came up to me quickly and proposed that the villains stick together and I am all "HELL YEAH! That idea rocks!" but on the inside, I'm more of a "well dude, I would practically align with Satan himself at this point to keep myself safe".

t’s me Lexi hi, just dropping by to say I can feel myself losing my sanity day by day. I still hate most of these people which I cannot place my finger on as to why? A large possibility due to myself hating life right now I suppose. They are a-okay folks; I just needed a dramatic statement to start this off since it's been relatively boring on our tribe. Some speak, some don't, some are playing quite hard... by some I only mean Jordan on that last one. I'll keep him close as I can to push in front of me as a nice shield for later on, but it is hard to trust the guy as I believe him to be close with a number of other people. I love this challenge we had, it's cute and doesn't consume too much time. We won and I will most likely not be in an alliance chat still so here's to hoping for another swap or an early merge. I want to blow up and do something fun but is it too early? Stay tuned

alright so my schedule's getting cleared up. i've got more time and been talking to the few people I hadn't gotten a chance to talk to. it looks like lexi and ruben aren't targets for this tribal. i'm surprised honestly because back in nayak they felt very threatened by their relationships. it makes me feel a little skeptical that there might be some major scheming going on that im not aware of. but i feel fairly confident that i'll be safe as well as lexi and ruben. i've talked to everyone on the tribe and no one has brought them up. the vote is supposed to be split with johnny and jaiden but since johnny has openly targeted and gone to rocks to get rid of lexi, we've decided it's better for johnny to leave. we might upset a few people but at that point we'll be down to 7. lexi, ruben, and i trust each other a lot so i don't see any of us targeting each other. i think either ruben or dom could be with us so im not too worried about any effects this tribal will have.    

Ok so i stopped guessing for the idol because Dom told Ruben he already has it so thats fine. Dom,Johnny,Alex dont talk to me so yikes but dom is close to ruben so i dont really care all that much. Alex came to ruben and said he wants boys to vote jaiden and girl to vote johnny. Which im voting johnny either way but so is ruben and dom so we should be sending johnny out the door which obviously i would love since he didnt have the balls to talk to me after all that rocks shit went down. Alex hasnt even talked to me about the plan so like ok? I dont trust him, he keeps telling ruben WE HAVE TO SPLIT but like youre probably just trying to save johnnys ass and send jaiden home. I mean who knows what Julia,Johnny and Alex are trying to plan. All i know is im voting johnny and so should robin,ruben,dom, and jaiden. Julia says she is but like who knows. Its just weird to me that johnny isnt trying to scramble to anyone.