#ok now that I've hit my word goal for the day imma go do other tasks

[desperatepleasures]

okay I think slow n steady might just be the way to go for me bc I thought I was making such tiny progress (never hit 1000 words on any given day) but my monthly goal was originally 3k and I've passed 6k now with a few days left :0

[devinescribe]

Next Time, No Death, Yeah?

Chapter 10 of '100 Promises'

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Warnings: Swearing, weapons, violence, blood

You were somewhere in Tokyo. Where? You'd find out sooner or later.

Currently however, you were walking through an abandoned mall. Everything was abandoned, so it didn't make this one anymore special than the millions of buildings in Tokyo. There was broken glass under your shoes that crunched when you stepped on it. "That's fucking satisfying," you whispered. "You're weird," Last Boss said from besides you. "Ok, if anytime you talk it's an insult to me imma hit you," you said, glaring playfully at him. It was an empty threat, he noticed, seeing as your tone of voice was too light and playful to be a real threat. "I wouldn't test her patience. She can be a real bitch when she wants to," Niragi stated, walking in front if both of you. Last Boss saw your eyes narrow, like a cat about to pounce on its prey. You reached your hand out, and tugged on his hair. "I just said if you insult me I'll hit you," you laughed. "Ow. Fuck you," he cursed, rubbing his scalp as you laughed. You shrugged your shoulders walking faster, ready for anything to happen. 'What could go wrong?' You thought. 'All the militants must be pretty trust worthy if the have weapons.'

Well, that's what you thought when you first got there. Now, not so much. One of the militants had tried to escape, seeing as they got all they needed from the Beach. Hiding behind objects when the man had a gun seemed like the best idea. "Alright, so what do we do?" You questioned Niragi, who kept looking from the side of the cement wall you two were hiding behind. "Stop the guy, and try not to get shot," Niragi responded, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. You noticed, but really it was a solid plan. Not getting shot was the best outcome for both of you. "Sounds like a good plan to me, let's go!" You shouted. He found it amusing how only a few days into the borderlands, you had already adapted. There was so much change, and usually you didn't do well with change. But yet here you were. "He's going to run out of bullets. And he can't change them that fast. So, let's wait till he runs out, then we grab him and take the gun away," you suggested, pointing at a mirror that showed the reflection of the man. "His bullet case is strapped onto his belt... You damn genius," he said, petting the top of your head. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the feeling. You smiled, shrugging your shoulders. "You the left, I'll take the right," he instructed. "Oki doki, let's goooo I'm bored!" You exclaimed, loading up your pistol. He kneeled down, peeking out the side of where you were hiding. "On the count of three?"

"Yeah."

"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

You both ran at him, being concentrated on the gun. He tried to shoot, but he had already ran out. He reached to grab bullets, but you aimed your gun, shooting it at his arm. He dropped his gun, yelping in pain. Niragi kicked the gun away from him. "Nice shot (N/N)," he complimented, high fiving you. He turned his attention back to the man on the floor. Blood was passing through the hand that covered his wound, staining it crimson. "Damn, any last words? Regrets? You know, death to the traitors and all," Niragi asked, crouching down besides the man, pointing his gun at the man's chest. He gulped, and took a shaky sigh. ''Yeah. I only regret that a girl took me down," he said. Your eyes widened, and you grabbed the knife from its sheath on your waist. You bent down to his level, stabbing the knife into his stomach, and twisting it. He screamed in pain. "This girl knows how to murder and get away with it," you said. You let go of the knife stepping back. He immediately pulled the knife out, making both you and Niragi laugh. "Hey, dumbass. That makes more blood come out," Niragi snickered. The man tried making pressure on his stomach his shirt staining dark red. "Alright, I'm bored. Someone else can do that. I got his blood on me, I feel nasty," You said, grabbing Niragi's hand and pulling him along with you.

Once you entered a random store, you looked down. There was blood covering your hands, and your swimsuit. You cringed in disgust. "That was pretty fucking badass," Niragi said, walking around the store. You sighed, "I guess." It dawned on you that since you were a militant, you could wear actual clothes. "Wait, so on supply runs what do guys collect?" You asked. Niragi turned to face you. "Anything and everything that could be useful. And of course, we are allowed to bring back personal items if wanted," he answered. You smirked, grabbing some backpacks off of one of the shelves, giving one to Niragi. "These would be easier to carry things around in," you suggested. "Ok, well then you take the pink strawberry one," he said. You rolled your eyes, trading backpacks with him. "Suck up your fragile masculinity you stupid fuck~," you sang before laughing. He shook his head, following you around. It really was like you two never skipped a beat. Sure, your whole lives had gotten derailed, but being back together made most things ok. The longest you two had been without each other had been the two months you stayed with your grandmother. After that first summer without him, you always asked if he could go with you. Even though you had called each other every night, you couldn't go to sleep. It wasn't like he was with you every night, but knowing you'd see him the next day would always comfort you. You didn't know why, it just did. So every summer both of you would have two months of peace at your grandmother's house.

"Alright, that's two bags full for each of us. Let's see if we can fill a third?" He asked. You both put the bags in the car. The person who was guarding the cars thanked you both. She looked down at your hands, and back up at you. You gave her a friendly smile seeing her stare. You sort of forgot about your blood stained hands. She smiled nervously, waving you both away.

"What was her problem?" You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you both walked back. "Blood," he answered, pointing at your hands. "Oh... well, sounds like a her problem," you said nonchalantly. It was quiet. Something you hadn't taken the time to appreciate before. Living in the city, there was always something making noise, it was never quiet. But now, looking at the desolate city of Tokyo, you sighed happily. It reminded you of the quiet up at your grandmother's house when you were little.

"Hello? Earth to (Y/N), Earth to (Y/N)," Niragi teased, waving his hand in front of your face.  You shook your head snapping out of your daydream. "Sorry... spaced out. What else do we need to do?"

On the way back, people were more talkative and cheerful. They had done a lot, running through the empty streets to find things. You were quite excited to return back, as Chishiya had mentioned talking again when you got back.

"(Y/N), piece of advice. Don't go to the parties at the Beach... everyone's to drunk to notice anything, and no one stops anyone from doing anything. So be careful," Kuina said. You two had been talking for a while besides the pool, watching others splash each other with water. You nodded, looking around. "It also seems you've caught the attention of Chishiya. He seems to think you're quite smart. That's near impossible, good job girl," she complimented. You laughed, shaking your head. "This is the first time in months I've been... truly happy, I guess you could say," you said, looking down at blue water in the pool. "What do you mean by that?" She questioned. "Well, back in our world, I thought my best friend was dead, so... I wasn't in the best mental state," you answered. "Ew, sorry, I just made this conversation about me. Ick, I hate it," you shuddered, shaking your hands. "Please tell me something about you Kuina?"

"They seem to get along well. She keeps him in line, she could be very useful," Ann observed after hearing what happened at the supply run. "She's also quite the wildcard, if you ask me. Dangerous, but calculated. Seems like she'd be a methodical killer in a show or something," Last Boss commented. This drew some attention, as he never spoke about others that often. It was often short answers, but it seemed you'd peaked his interest.  "Well, it's no use just talking about their skills. Put them to the test!" Hatter suggested, a bit too cheerfully for everyone in the room. "Haven't they proven themselves already? She's pretty high up for a newcomer, and Niragi has been here for a while, he's a high rank as well," Ann questioned, turning to face Hatter. "They've proven themselves as individuals. But if we have a pair that is on the same level physically and mentally, who seem to find fun in the games, that trust each other..." Hatter started, trailing off. Ann caught on to what he was saying. "It's an advantage for us in the end... in using their connection, it makes them stronger players?" Ann said, suggesting her thoughts. Hatter smiled widely, "Bingo! The easier the games are to clear, the faster we can all leave!" Of course, Ann was a bit uneasy at the idea. You had both proven yourselves to be useful, even in the short time you'd been there. Niragi, while annoying to deal with at times, did have amazing abilities with guns. He was able to complete games without hesitation to hurt others to get his goal, and that's what made him such an asset to the Beach. People feared him. The more you fear a person or punishment, you are more likely to not do what lead to dealing with that person or consequence. You were already building quite the reputation. Although coming into the Beach with Niragi, you would expect people to avoid you. People backed away from you even more now, seeing as you were a militant, and a dangerous one at that. You two were equally as intelligent and dangerous, the only difference being you thought things out before rushing in. He was more impulsive. A do now, think later kind of person. You, however, you thought first, thinking of outcomes, and followed through.  It would be interesting to see how you two worked together.

Wow that took a while to write for no reason at all.

[joannalannister]

Ok I'm sorry I'm asking a lot of questions. Do you think Jaime has a stronger feminine side/is more in touch with his feminine side then most guys in westeros due to his hella close relationship with cersei? And if so, how does it manifest itself in his thoughts/feelings/actions/beliefs? Also, do you think Jaime thinks about women in general differently then other men due to his relationship with cersei? (Btw I've also sent a similar q to queenaly to see what she has to say - is that ok?)

I thought about this for a few days, and I guess I’m not sure what it means for Jaime to be “in touch with his feminine side”? What is a feminine side, exactly?

For example, when Jaime and Cersei switched places as children, Jaime might have picked up a few skills that are considered more “traditionally feminine” like sewing – but Tyrion knows how to sew as well, and he specifically says he enjoys needlework, so could we also say that Tyrion is also more in touch with his feminine side? And Jaime occasionally dressed in Cersei’s clothes as a child, but Samwell was also dressed in women’s clothing as a child, so does that make him more “in touch with his feminine side”? 

So I guess I don’t think it has to do with activities or clothing. But I don’t know if the conventional definition of being “in touch with his feminine side” has to do with those things?

I’m literally gonna go google “in touch with his feminine side meaning” because I don’t know how else to approach this? 

OK top result on google: “6 Ways To Get In Touch With Your Feminine Side.”  This is how it starts:

Everyone has feminine and masculine qualities that define who they are. Your masculine side gets expressed when you’re working toward a goal, making progress, getting things done, and pushing forward. 

Ok, wow, y’all should see my face rn reading this is sexist bullshit. I didn’t know that getting shit done was considered masculine.

Google Result #2: “In Touch With His Feminine Side -TV Tropes”

A character who is In Touch With His Feminine Side, also known as a Tomgirl or Janegirl, is a male who lacks certain stereotypically male traits and may adopt some stereotypically girlish traits. Such characters are sometimes referred to as being “sensitive.”

Ok, this is slightly more useful. TV Tropes goes on to list a number of traits, so let’s see if those apply to Jaime:

Lack of athleticism - nope, not Jaime.

Lack of aggression - ohhhh boy, definitely not Jaime

An Open, Emotional Personality - No? Jaime’s rather emotionally guarded? It took him ~16 years to open up about killing Aerys.

Typically (traditionally) feminine interests - No. Jaime likes “swords and dogs and horses”. He “thirsts for battle” 

Effeminate or Non-Masculine Appearance - No. “This is what a king should look like.” 

“To qualify a character must have a large percentage of these traits and/or have their effeminate-ness be remarked on in-universe“ - No.

Imma say no, not in touch with his feminine side by this definition. 

But I think this feminine side/masculine side thing is kinda BS to begin with 

(women aren’t athletic? Catelyn Stark wasn’t ready to murder people with her bare hands on behalf of her family? Women have a monopoly on emotions now? See, this is BS) 

so let’s try a slightly different question:

Compared to the average male, does Jaime have a better understanding of the female experience in Westeros, given his incestuous relationship with his twin sister?

I think not. 

(Honestly, text format can never accommodate my sweeping hand gestures while answering questions.)

Take it away, Cersei:

“Yet even so, when Jaime was given his first sword, there was none for me. ‘What do I get?’ I remember asking. We were so much alike, I could never understand why they treated us so differently. Jaime learned to fight with sword and lance and mace, while I was taught to smile and sing and please. He was heir to Casterly Rock, while I was to be sold to some stranger like a horse, to be ridden whenever my new owner liked, beaten whenever he liked, and cast aside in time for a younger filly. Jaime’s lot was to be glory and power, while mine was birth and moonblood.“

“But you were queen of all the Seven Kingdoms,” Sansa said.

“When it comes to swords, a queen is only a woman after all.”

Westeros systemically denies women their humanity. Even a queen is worth so much less to Westeros. 

I don’t think Jaime could ever understand what it was like for Cersei to have her body commodified and sexualized since childhood, to be wedded off without any say at all, to be raped as often as Robert liked, whenever he liked, without any recourse at all. 

I don’t think Cersei ever shared or expressed these things to Jaime, either. For example, I don’t think Cersei ever told Jaime how Robert would hurt her: “Never on the face before. Jaime would have killed him, even if it meant his own life.” If Robert had hit Cersei in an obvious place that wasn’t covered up by clothes, one that Jaime could see, Jaime would have flown into a murderous rage. So Cersei has to hide that shit.

(I guess this is an unpopular opinion, but I think Cersei is very guarded, even around Jaime? Like, I don’t think she confides everything to him. She never told him about the valonqar, she didn’t tell him about Robert’s abuse, she didn’t want to tell Jaime about Rhaegar as a child when she was drawing that picture. And same goes for Jaime - Jaime didn’t tell Cersei about the wildfire / killing Aerys. Even in his own POV, Jaime leaves so much unsaid to Cersei / says it only to us. How close are Jaime and Cersei, really?)

(God, I sound like an anti! Sorry! But my love for Cersei and Jaime derives from the tragedy of their relationship. Their misconceptions. The ways they hurt each other. The intensity of their love and hate. Their mutually-assured destruction. Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold….) 

Also. There’s this passage in AFFC, and it has one of my favorite lines:

“I took her on Raymun Darry’s bed after stepping over Robert. If His Grace had woken I would have killed him there and then. He would not have been the first king to die upon my sword … but you know that story, don’t you?” He slashed at a tree branch, shearing it in half. “As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ‘I want.’ I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead.” The things I do for love. “It was only by chance that Stark’s own men found the girl before me. If I had come on her first …”

“As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ’I want.’

Jaime thinks he understands, he thinks Cersei wanted something as simple as one dead child. 

I don’t think he understands at all. 

Cersei’s wants are so deep, so vast, that she doesn’t even have the words to articulate them. “I want _______.” 

Cersei wants everything, she wants it all, everything that’s been denied to her. 

And Jaime’s had all these things. They all came so easily to him that he valued them very little. 

“You were Robert’s queen. And yet you won’t be mine.”

I really don’t think Jaime understands at all.

(If anyone understands what it’s like to be Cersei, and what a precarious position she’s in, I think that’s Tyrion. Cersei was denied, because she is a woman. Tyrion is denied because he is not able bodied. Like, there’s this quote of Tyrion’s in AGOT: 

“Tyrion wondered what it would be like to have a twin, and decided that he would rather not know. Bad enough to face himself in a looking glass every day. Another him was a thought too dreadful to contemplate.”

That’s one reason why Cersei and Tyrion hate each other. They’re twins, in a way. It’s hard enough for each to face himself/herself. Cersei and Tyrion facing each other … “too dreadful to contemplate.”)

So how does Jaime’s complete lack of understanding of the female experience manifest itself?

In really gross ways tbh:

Sansa Stark, that ought to put a smile on Tyrion’s face. He remembered how happy his brother had been with his little crofter’s daughter … for a fortnight.

When Jaime hears that Tyrion has married Sansa, he thinks nothing about how Sansa was a hostage, married off into the family who murdered her father. He thinks nothing about a little girl, not yet 13 years old, being forced into a relationship where she must always be available for sexual intercourse with a member of the family who murdered her father. 

Literally all Jaime’s think of is, ��Way to go, bro!”

Sure, in very obvious cases of rape, Jaime is against it. For example, he wants to protect Rhaella from her husband, because he could hear her crying out. Jaime’s not 100% awful. 

But it didn’t really bother him that Sansa could have been raped on her wedding night. 

And now he wants to smash Cersei’s teeth in, because she’s slept with other people. He’s mad at her, because she hasn’t been faithful, without understanding that Cersei never had the luxury of being faithful to Jaime. 

Jaime’s misogynistic. He’s not as bad as someone like Randyll Tarly, but that’s setting the bar pretty damn low. 

So I’m sorry, I don’t think this was the answer you wanted. 

You said you also sent this question to @goodqueenaly? She writes much better things than I do, so maybe she can give you a better answer?

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Carls, what's good? Carly: me Ali: ooh, ok, love a bit of self-love Ali: ✝ or 😍 or 💊 or other good [please state] Carly: 🍆 Ali: 👌 noiceee Ali: anyone i know? Ali: nosy bitch i know but i'm living vicariously these days 😉 Carly: yea Carly: i cant tell tales outta school Ali: ugh Ali: boo! 😂 Ali: I'll have to stick to being excited Ro and Drew are back on... Carly: you can try Ali: 🔪💚 Ali: killing me Ali: need some good news gurl, if you can't tell me about your dickscapades then tell me something else for my posi vibes Ali: yeah? Ali: got a ☮ rep to maintain Carly: theres pills for that Carly: ill share Ali: aw, she really cares! 😘 Ali: i'm still attached to rio by the tit so can't Ali: bummer 😋 Carly: 🍼 her Carly: she old enough? Ali: breast is best baby and mine are spectacular Ali: depends on the kiddo, and whether you can or can't, if you can you usually do it to a year max tho, that's my goal so got a while yet Carly: dont rub it in 🔪 Carly: killing me now Ali: bitch please Ali: you're 😍 Ali: and clearly someone is loving it Carly: if youre trying something im tired Carly: wait Ali: i know you straight as hell, despite the bait honey 😂 you're good Ali: ? Carly: dont tell him that Carly: rep of my own Ali: how can I tell him? Ali: don't know who it is, do I? Carly: yea you do Ali: right Ali: what to do Ali: quandary man Carly: nothing Ali: I fear you're right Ali: not your fault, he won't listen and neither will she so Ali: but I should, yeah? what would you do Carls Carly: he listens to me thats far as i go Carly: keep out Carly: nobodys gonna thank you for sticking in Ali: and I'm not going to convince you arguing Ro's case, am I? Because- Ali: Yeah, I figured as much Carly: why Carly: she can talk to me herself if shes got something to say Carly: not your job Ali: she's not going to do that Ali: that isn't her, on so many levels Ali: its sister shit Ali: I'm supposed to at least try but its hard when I know they're wrong and that fighting it would be a losing battle Carly: i can not text him first Carly: but he'll text me Carly: not missing out i was here first Ali: I know Ali: Fun times, man Ali: can I ask you something? Carly: it is for me Carly: sorry for her but we have something Carly: yea Ali: that's what i wanted to ask Ali: kinda Ali: is it just the fucking and drug connecs? and there's no judgement there, that's enough if it is Ali: just curious honestly Carly: idk idc Carly: its good Carly: thats a shit word for it Ali: i get it Ali: it makes more sense than with Ro Ali: sorry, don't repeat that Ali: but I'm trying to work out the attraction Ali: collecting info like the nerd i am Carly: does he like her Carly: or just the chase cuz she dont put out Ali: I wish I knew Ali: There has to be something in it for him, doesn't there? Or, what the fuck is he doing Carly: id lie that its about me if thatd help Carly: but we arent that Ali: Nah? Ali: Maybe he don't fucking know either Ali: I'd ask but I'm not getting a straight answer so meh Carly: he doesnt use my name Carly: does he remember hers Ali: Like you said, she doesn't talk about that kinda thing, but I hope so Ali: I don't think Ro would deal if he didn't but what do I know Ali: you're cool with it? Carly: the answers there Carly: he must like her Carly: scared to wife her Carly: i dont have his tattooed on me either Ali: funny way of showing it Ali: fucking hell, more drama than my own 😂 Ali: good, i'm glad you're happy with it forreals, one less to worry about Carly: i miss him Carly: thats not for you to nerd over Ali: but he doesn't stop Ali: that's what drives me wild, he gets his cake and eats it too when he's with Ro too Ali: but preaching to the choir or whatever the fuck here Ali: sorry, wish I could tell Ro this, that's all Carly: hes not getting any cake from her Ali: is that what he's telling you? or just presumption? Carly: we dont talk about her Ali: okay well at least he's not bullshitting here Ali: 'cos nah girl Carly: not good shit k Carly: thats why he wants me so bad Ali: that's what i mean, so if he loves her and wants you, that'd be chill if Ro was cool with it but she ain't Ali: right Ali: know what I gotta do now at least Carly: but youre not ratting me out to him Carly: dont need that mood Ali: of course not Ali: like i said, you've done nothing wrong Ali: he's not trying to hide anything, i think she knows Ali: so its not gonna come back to you, it can't Carly: k Carly: i need him to come around Carly: whenever Ali: sounds like he will Ali: don't think anyone or thing is stopping him Ali: do you love him? Carly: no Carly: i Carly: we have fun Ali: alright Ali: good Ali: i hope he'll treat you better when all this shit gets sorted Ali: more fun, full time, what could be better? Carly: he's good to me Carly: 🍆 & 💊 Carly: no better Ali: you won't have to miss him Ali: for one Ali: or share Ali: 🍆 at least Ali: you'll have to always get in line for the 💊 Carly: there's always other girls Carly: get in line for him too Carly: sharing can be fun Ali: yeah? fairplay Ali: do you get to bring other boys Ali: or is it just other girls for him Carly: why would i wanna bring other lads in? he's the better fuck Ali: if you insist Ali: plenty of dick in the sea tho Carly: not for you Ali: but i'm wifey-ed Ali: that ain't you, like you said Carly: yea Carly: i know when im onto a good thing tho Ali: you ain't a good thing? Ali: or drew just a fool? 🤔😜 Carly: no im not Carly: ask around Ali: why not? Ali: i don't listen to the town goss, heaven help my self-esteem if I did Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: yeah yeah yeah Ali: I know I'm annoying tf out of you but can't be tamed Carly: me too Ali: 😂 Ali: bitchfight in woodwork? Ali: really rock their worlds Carly: yea Ali: just no tools okay Ali: i don't want permanent disfiguration Carly: only the tat Carly: k Ali: oh, you're conservative on skin art now? 🤔 Ali: got a kid honey, if he chucks me, that's the real glaring awkwardness Carly: shit true Carly: & id go for some ink Ali: let me let me! Ali: i've convinced you that i'm dead sane and aren't going to brand you with a red A, yeah? 🤪😉 Carly: come over and do it Ali: yeah? Ali: lets do this Ali: think what you want Carly: draw what you wanna Ali: 🙌🙏 Ali: have you been sent by god herself?! Carly: or her boy Carly: isnt that who the devil is? her bf Ali: 🤨 Ali: imma give you a theology 101 whilst i'm there too Ali: the real story is lowkey better, trust Carly: idk the porno was good shit Ali: rule 34 baby Ali: i'll draw you that Ali: not on you Ali: unless you're REALLY vibing Carly: whats rule 34 Ali: if it exists, there is porn of it 🤓 Ali: fun game Ali: think of the most outlandish fucked up shit you think no one would think of, search it on pornhub Ali: drink if it exists Carly: ive done that Carly: it is fun Ali: high 🖐 Carly: tomorrow? Carly: bring the kid if its a thing Ali: fosho Ali: playdate! 😜 Ali: might have a gran on duty but cheers if not Carly: k Ali: imma sketch Ali: where do you want this Carly: idc Carly: use the space you wanna Carly: gotta have a 34 in there tho now Ali: absolutely Ali: lucky number Carly: yea Ali: do it in mandarin or something so you can be #deep and #classy Ali: keep 'em guessing gurl Carly: 🔪 im dead Ali: ☠ i'll write a beautiful eulogy on your corpse Carly: aw Ali: i ain't drew but want me to bring any goodies Ali: aside from aformentioned tits Carly: hitting with all the qs you know the answers to Ali: aw honey i'm flattered Ali: #whenshegoesbiforyou Ali: i'll see what i can do 😉 Carly: can't wait