#ok thinking about it most of everyone probably doesnt even remember me and arent actively annoyed by me so. Maybe thats better

[confettigraffiti]

I miss talking to my friends genuinely but also I have very much overstayed my welcome everywhere and it's too late (I got VERY annoying near the end + fell out of a major interest which didn't help. my bad yall 😔) I feel like I should remake at this point and just move on but also. move on to what

[vortomorto]

not in any way excusing anything, but I did see in the yt comments that there were a good number saying “my submission was also hitler jokes, so sad it didn’t make it in” or “I submitted a nazi one but they only used my mine craft one” or sth. I really do think they could’ve picked better green screens to show, but I also think the fanbase has a good number of edgy “dark humour is my personality” straight boys. Which is sad bc the eboys r actually funny and don’t need to rely on edgelord humour

its not the first time they made edgy jokes though, the whole eboys channel is just them bluring things out.

youre right, their audience is straight white edgy dudes, and thats why they should be more careful with these jokes and not encourage it. maybe they should wonder why their white fans feel comfortable sending them jokes about hitler. while they arent directly responsible for their audience, they still influence them, whether they like it or not. each of them has at least 1 million subscribers, they have a huge amount of teens looking up to them.

the blatant misogyny and racism on british youtube has been there for too long. ksi gets called the n word in every one question go video and his audience laughs. elena bateman appeared in a callux/sdmn video and she got r*** threats because she.. talked? speaking of sidemen, the comment sections under their videos are always the most toxic ones. in the blind dating/tinder videos the girls appearing on them get so much hate.

back to the eboys, they always shift the blame to their viewers, dont they? i vaguely remember george making a video on someone and then the audience attacked them and george fully said he had nothing to do with it. he has 3.5(?) million subs, he knew damn well if he made a video on someone his audience would go over to their channel and send hate. and then everytime after that, whenever he made a video on someone he made a half assed disclaimer stating that he doesnt want his fans going over there.

personally, i dont care if someone makes edgy jokes. its not for me, but i just let it go bc i know its a lost cause. its the fact that they dont make their views clear and they dont take responsibility when they fuck up. millions of views means power, and as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility. the fact that their content attracts right wing white dudes means something, they just dont want to think of that something.

also, are we ever gonna talk about how they treated fraser, one of their loyal friends? this wasnt an edgy joke, this was something they did irl that affected an actual person, and their audience managed to gloss over that too. and then they, yet again, made edgy jokes about fraser on the channel and even made a "whos the fifth member of the eboys" video. gross. throw the whole channel away.

and ofc they probably said "we talked about it and its fine" but fraser is the one who has the least fans and he is the one who got screwed over, so its possible fraser just said a dry "its ok" and decided that it was just not worth it.

im mentioning fraser, because they did him dirty and its yet another thing that gets glossed over. while fraser wasnt my favourite, he was the only one who was actively talking about social issues, politics and his views. out of all of them, fraser is the least likely person to attract right wing members and he was the one that was left out. i dont know if it was bc they found him boring or annoying or bc he had less subs than everyone (i dont think thats the case), but they basically stole his idea.

its not a coincidence that alex gets the most shit, and its not bc of ***** (we can talk about That can of worms some other time). under the true geordie christmas podcast (the first one) you can see all the white dudes whining about alex. under every willne/memeulous video he appears in, you can always easily find ppl talking shit about him. this was happening even before *****, and every old imallexx stan can back me up on this. alex always got the most shit out of everyone. is it bc he wears pink? is it bc he is not masculine? is it bc he is bi? is it bc he talks more than their faves and they think he doesnt deserve it? (notice how they also had a problem with elena talking -- talking over straight white male comedians is a crime for them)

my point is, white edgy dudes tend to find a couple other white edgy dudes and just "gang together". these white boys project their beliefs on their favourite youtubers and assume that their faves have the same beliefs as them (even though, logically, we all know the eboys arent right wing members,they dont see it like that. they see white dudes joking about hitler).

what usually happens is that this fantasy of theirs starts to crumble. a beautiful example is idubbbz. his audience LOVED the fact that he said the n word, and the r slur, and the f slur, and all kinds of fucked up stuff. they worshipped him.

you know what happened? he found a girlfriend. they did NOT like her, at all. his gf decided to start an only fans. and suddenly, idubbbz wasnt the king anymore. he was just ian, a "simp".

as someone who reads the comments while watching videos i have noticed something. the dudes who talked about ian's gf talk the same way as the dudes talking about will's gf, mia. just something i noticed.

anyway, this reply is too long, im sorry... i just wanted to get some things off my chest and you gave an opportunity to do so. this isnt an attack towards you or anything like that, this was just me rambling.

english is not my first language and i havent proofread this so there are some mistakes in there. some things (fraser) werent really relevant, i just wanted to talk about them

[th3okamid3monart]

Things I’m going to miss this Holidays

There are a couple of traditions we do in my family that I havent seen in other places and with one search on the internet I realize that most of the things we do are from my own country + some that we make up ourselves. 

So Im going to share them here because... Well, there’s a big-ass chance I wont be able to do them this Christmas nor New years. 

NOTE: When I say ‘my family’ in a lot of this, I mean ALL my family. Which means, all my grandparents, all my aunts, all my uncles, all my cousins, and, yes, EVEN my great grandaparents, cousins, uncles, aunts and more. Because we all know each other and we even make a party once a year for my dad’s side of the family 

Here I go:

Las Posadas

There’s this thing that we do at one of my grandparents’ house that involves singing a carol about the time Maria and Jose were looking for a place to stay to rest before travel far away for the birth of Jesus. It is a song which is singed by 2 groups, one that is inside and the other that’s outside. What we do is the following: One group goes inside a room in the house while the other stays outside the door, the group outside sings one part and the other sings the other. We go back and forward until we finish the song. It is pretty funny because no one sings well and its just like a bunch of grown ups practically screaming but we always end up chuckling. I used to think it was pointless and boring but that was because I was an edgy potato, after I enter University i began to enjoy more things and be happier. This is going to be the second time I wont be with my complete family for Christmas and now its all the family who wont be able to go to my grandparents house for a celebration. 

12 grapes, 12 wishes

In both sides of my family we usually fill up 12 grapes in a cup and give everyone 1 cup each. I dont remember what exactly the grapes meant or the story about the wishes but it’s supposedly like before it strikes 12 am on New Years, we have to eat our grapes while also wishing for something. I remember when I was younger I’d wish for peace on the world or that everything went well for everyone. I think I’m going to buy a bigger bag of grapes this year. 

Something that was funny was that everyone would just... Stuff their mouths with grapes, mostly my cousins and I, just to see how many we could fit. Not everyone wished for many things in the family because I think we all feel we had and have enough. If my family does this again on their own, I’m pretty certain their wishes would be to be able to meet with the family. 

Piñata

Every year since I was little, my grandparents buy a piñata to smash before or during Christmas. They find it such a good activity for cousins and even for my aunts, my mom and uncle. They literally havent stopped buying them, the oldest grandchild in that side of the family its in her 30s, but they still buy a piñata. I think its mostly for the youngest which are below 16, never the less, its still super funny and hilarious because we go from youngest to oldest. By the time it gets to my brother, its still intact, he only swings it once and its completely DESTROYED. We just have a lot of fun, and sometimes we make my mom or my aunts to hit it. My mom wasnt as cheery when I was a kid, but now she laughs more and when it comes to the piñata she laughs and enjoys her time even more. 

Games 

Like any gathering, all cousins bring up something we can do to entertain ourselves. At first they were toys my grandparents had for us, then it was videogames and now... Its board games. My bro is the one obsess with different boardgames and DnD and other card games. So, about 5 years ago he began bringing boardgames for all cousins to play along. We either talk with each other or try to destroy each other with any game there is. Videogames are fun but we all find it a drag to bring the console to the place, besides we usually get so busy with each others banter and weird conversations that we just forget about the videogames all together. 

At my other grandparents house it becomes W I L D. Last time someone brough a beer pong table and they all began to take shots with mezcal (I’m trying to not drink a lot of the time ever since I puked one time. If I drink its light things like wine and only one glass). Then my aunts play music and began to sing and everyone follows up, and... Well last time they began to dance.... And all my cousins were very embarassed and I was hella confused. Suffice to say, my dad’s side of the family are super freakishly energetic and wild, while my mom’s side is more of a geeky, nerdy vibe with a lot of meme stuff and political conversations at times (Oh yeah, we talk a lot of different political stuff, but guess what? It never derails into a fight. I note this due to always reading people’s talks ending with fights and stuff and that kinda weirds me out a bit at times) 

Dinners 

I don’t remember the time exactly, probably since I was 15 maybe, my dad and I turned into the designated ‘chefs’. Every year we’ve been deciding and preparing foods for each house. We make the main course while my aunts do the sides (although sometimes it becomes like 3 main courses with 2 sides). Im waaaaaaaaay into the cooking and I try to make it perfect each year. I kinda chillaxed a bit with some foods because it wasnt that big of a deal. Besides the main course, I also decide to make a dessert and sometimes they arent eaten because my families have some sugar regulations. They are stored and kept after Christmas because thats better than eating it all in one sitting and having sugar poisoning (AKA, high sugar that needs a fast Insuline injection afterwards). 

It is always fun to make food with my dad, and to make the famous Tamales from my grandma’s recipe. Last time i think we made around 400? Between green salsa chicken, red salsa beef and pork, and some that were like... its like an adobe, its with achiote and orange juice. It was very tasty. We usually make a lot and freeze them. THEY ARENT COOKED, they are raw and then frozen. Every time we take some out, we make them with vapor, takes around 2 hours and they are always tasty. I remember I made a batch all by myself, I made the feelings, I mixed the masa, and I assemble 100 by my own, the rest was thankfully made by my parents. And it was the best when I gave some to my grandma and she told me that they were super good. Of course, I made a couple mistakes, Im not perfect but she still enjoyed it with the salsa I made. Maybe I can still make some this year and give each family a batch. 

Aunt’s cookies

Every year, every god damn year... We all wait for one thing... It’s not the presents, its not the food... Its the cookies. The motherfucking cookies. My aunt has made this cookies since I was a kid, and we all fought to get a bunch of them. She has made choco chip with nuts cookies every year without missing. And they always end before Christmas even hits. She once gave me frozen batch so I can cook them at home and she told me ‘Dont tell anybody’. Of course I cannot not tell anyone since I live with my parents and siblings but when I made them I made sure to make them when my dad wasnt home. Not only because Im a gluttonous fuck but because my dad is diabetic and he shouldnt be eating anything like that. 

It used to be a battle royal between my cousins, now its a battle against my uncles cause they LOVE TO FUCKING HIDE THE BIG ASS CONTAINER. I swear, i only got 1 or 2 god damn cookies last time. 

Breakfast at...Lunch at...

After Christmas, we always go eat at my grandparents house. Always. And it’s, most of the time, Menudo. The most delicious food you can make with cow stomach. It’s my grandpa’s recipe and it’s always good. Meanwhile, we lunch at my grandma’s house the leftovers of yesterdays dinner which it varies if its turkey or pork but it always ends up as a torta. Delicious, leftover, tortas. 

We end up... SUPER CONSTIPATED because you eat menudo with bread, and you make tortas with bread, and we all eat bread and like... A LOT. Its hella good but well... THERE ARE CONCEQUENCES!! 

I think thats all, at least the most relevant parts. There’s also The Toast of El Bohemio, the stupidity and over eating i do for fun for some cousins, the conversations that go from super deep to stupidity with cousins, the music we play, the hugs... 

THE HUGS

When its the New Year, we scream out HAPPY NEW YEAR. And we proceed to hug each and everyone, one time I waited to see everyone and they all were very very happy. Its something I didnt realize before, but that was a happy thing all the time. Last year we event celebrated with other family, most of this reunions are compose with the nuclear family, but we arent shy about involving more family or friends. So last year not only included some family and their friends, we also included a 2 new members of the family: My newborn cousin and my cousin’s now husband. 

It was like.. One of the best beginnings... Which kind of... didnt prepared us for what this...sucky year. 

I’m sure we’ll make it ok... I sure hope so, I wanna see my grandparents again... I wanna see my baby cousin, he is babbling and has already learned to walk. The little dude doesnt have cousins to play with anymore, I wanna make sure he doesnt confuse me by his aunt ajjajajaja. I want to talk to my cousins, I want to hug them and scream with them and eat with them all. 

But maybe this year it wont happen, and I rather it not happening than loosing any of them. 

Right now I cant smell, and everything hurts, but it kinda helps ease things when i remember this and when I think they all are still kinda healthy. 

Maybe when it all passes we can make a march reunion, to celebrate my grandma’s birthday. In the meantime, I’m going to try to get better and wish for this Christmas to not suck now that It’s only my main family and I. 

Hope everyone is safe, I hope you can at least see your parents or siblings. I hope you dont get sick nor have to spend time at a hospital or anything. I hope all who are, get help and dont get worse. I hope you all get better. 

Hope you have Happy Holidays. 

[clown-bait]

29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) CH 27

FINALLY FINISHED THIS!! So the monsters try really hard to figure out why they aren't monsters any more. Turns out they cant focus for five minutes without going off on a weird tangent about washing machines and butts. Papawise is gonna have to try to get these idiots to be productive. Good luck papa you’re gonna need it.

CH 27

Focusing is Hard

“Are we going to address this human problem now?”

Freddy and Drac sat on the couch already breaking into Chucky’s beer stash as Leech plopped herself onto Robert’s lap on the loveseat. the former clown brought a long arm around her and nuzzled his nose into her drying hair. “Mmm you smell just like me” he growled. “I wonder why” Leech giggled and kissed his jaw line. Freddy nearly gagged.

“*AHEM* SO is that a no on the problem solving then?” he asked the ex-nosferatu.

“Fred like either of us have any idea how this happened at all.”

“Well did you two do anything? I dunno like did you activate some curse or something? Maybe pissed off a witch?”

“What witch is powerful enough to turn Pennywise human? Let alone a whole town full of over powered evil.” Leech crossed her legs over the side of the chair getting comfy.

“I love it when you call me powerful.” Robert beamed with pride from having his ego stroked.

“Focus Bob” She scolded him.

As they discussed their options there was a clatter in the basement followed by a wheeze. Everyone froze solid looking at eachother and back down the hall. “Do we go investigate?” the nosferatu asked hesitantly.

“Isn’t that usually how humans get killed by us?” Freddy grumbled.

“Holy shit being on the other side of the horror movie sucks balls” Leech picked up a beer bottle in defence peering down the hall.

“I’ll go. You all would be such easy targets.” Robert rolled his eyes. His companions’ fears starting to annoy him.

“Like hell you are! We all know what happens when the prey splits up!” Leech grabbed his arm before he could march into any more danger.

“Lets just all go together then. Can’t be anything too terrible with everyone being turned human.” Freddy handed Dracula a broken piece of wood who glanced over at his roommate in confusion.

“We’re so going to die” the ex nosferatu groaned.

The former monsters approached the door leading to the basement where they could hear more panting and wheezing which seemed to get louder and louder. Leech hesitantly opened the door which made an extremely ominous creak causing the ex-vampire to grip her bottle tighter. They peered into the basement, everyone silently cursing Penny for making his house as equally scary as himself. Something wet and dark flopped out of the well gasping like a fish out of water. Robert felt both his arms get grabbed by Leech and Freddy at once while Drac clung to his roommate from behind. The weight of 3 grown adults clinging to his silk robe like baby sloths nearly pulled the former eldritch to the ground and he gave them all an angry scowl. “Really?!” he hissed. The wet thing began to stand it looked like a person, a very tired and pissed off person.

“I just walked for MILES through the freezing sewer, so you MORONS better tell me what the hell is going on right now or there will be consequences!” they said.

The man finally came into view. He looked quite different without the giant red nose.

“U-Uncle Penny?” Leech stuttered the man rung out the wet shirt he had clearly killed someone for as there was a large blood stain on the collar.

“This is what you look like as humans? Jesus Junior those pants tight enough?”

“Theyre Freddy’s…” Robert looked off to the side.

“Actually I think those are mine!” Leech pulled at his pants to inspect the pocket “Yeah theres the hole in the pocket!”

“Leechie why does Krueger have your pants?” If Robert still had fangs theyd be out.

“Oh calm down Fred and I swap clothes all the time.” she waved him off and rolled her eyes at his jealousy.

“Yeah Fangs does laundry at our place cause you won’t get a washer dryer”

“There’s a wash tub right over there!” Robert snarled at the former dream demon in annoyance. First it was wifi and microwaves now its modern washing machines! How is anyone going to be scared when they walk into the haunted house on Neibolt if theyre greeted with the scent of clean laundry and hot pockets.

“The 1800s were over a long ass time ago Bob!” Leech complained she had been trying to get him to change his mind on this for weeks now.

“I am trying to cultivate an atmosphere that generates fear! Dryer sheets and laundry detergent create the opposite effect Leech!”

“Sheesh Junior you take your interior decorating a bit too seriously.” his uncle rolled his eyes at his younger counterpart.

“Will all of you please drop the washer/dryer thing”

“IS THE CLOWN FINALLY GETTING A WASHING MACHINE?” came Tiffany’s voice from upstairs

“Look you’re in the minority here Robert, just let us get something basic.”

“Yeah Jingles, that way Fangs will stop leaving her pants at our place.” Freddy grumbled.

“Hey now I remember you saying you liked those pants and I let you borrow them!” Leech snapped.

“Yeah alright fine. Theyre good pants, I mean look at how great Jingles’ ass looks in them!” Freddy spun Robert around and slapped his ass howling in laughter at Robert’s enraged reaction.

“O să discutăm acum despre problema noastră?” ((will we talk about our problem now?)) Dracula asked. He had no idea what anyone was saying or why they were all humans all he knew was that he wanted to get back to being immortal as soon as possible.

“I dont speak French Dracula!” Uncle Penny grumbled.

“Oh my god how does that remotely even sound like French? Its fucking Romanian!” Leech snapped at him defending her extremely confused mentor.

“Whatever. Can all of you focus for just five minutes?! That’s all I’m asking for here. As soon as we figure out why the hell I can’t shape shift you can all go back to blabbering about eachother’s butts!” The older eldritch groaned in frustration.

“Ok but you have to agree theyre great pants though!”

“FIVE MINUTES KRUEGER!”

“Pff youre asking a lot, Freddy came over to do the same thing and within the first hour we all ended up being violently attacked by the cat and Robert lost a finger.” leech held up Robert’s injured hand.

“You lost a finger Junior? How do you fuck up this bad?”

“THATS WHAT I SAID!” Tiffany yelled once again from upstairs

“By the way, there a reason the dolls arent joining us in figuring this out?” Freddy asked Leech ignoring the enraged Uncle Penny’s complaints.

“A) I dont think they want to, and B) I’m pretty sure from the Rob Zombie music blasting from their room and the creaking bed springs theyre uh..busy..” Leech said.

“Gross” Robert snarled.

“JINGLES YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER!” Chucky shouted down.

“Unbelievable. You couldnt even do one minute of concentration! Were never getting back to normal jesus.” The elder eldritch tilted his head up at the ceiling growing tired of the other monsters constant distractions.

“Fine where do you suggest we start because we’re all out of ideas here.” Leech snapped.

“Did you even try having any ideas in the first place?”

The monsters opened their mouths to speak and immediately closed them. Ok so maybe they haven’t been the most proactive about this.

“Can we at least take this out of the basement then and get more beer before we start? I think I’m going to develop asthma from all the dust down here.” Leech began to walk back up the stairs to the kitchen. “You boys can either join me or stay down here in the dark. I’m out.” The other monsters shrugged and followed suit.

—————-

“Ok so we need to narrow down who is powerful enough to turn an entire town of powerful entities into humans.” Uncle Penny began drinking the beer Leech had got him from Chucky’s  nearly empty stash.

“I can think of no one.” the younger vampire said.

“You haven’t been with us very long Leechie.” Robert patted her on the head.

“Wait isnt today Halloween?” Freddy asked having a rare appiphany.

“Yeah so?” Uncle Penny took another long swig of the beer surpriesed that he liked it so much.

“Yeah doesnt that mean certian supernatural parties are stronger today?” Leech asked

“Oh fuck ive heard of this before. Did any of you break the rules of Halloween?” Freddy asked, he had seen something like this in another town once. People who broke tradition on Halloween that night had bad things happen to them.

“There’s rules to this holiday?” Robert raised an eyebrow and tried to drink Leech’s beer grimacing at the tast and shoving it back into her hands. Everyone turned to him and glared.

“What did you do Jingles”

“Why are you accusing me?”

“Bob what did you fucking do?”

—————-

“YOU STOLE HIS WHAT?”

“I thought he was a regular child!!” Robert snarled. He recalled a small boy in an orange scarecrow outfit in the haunted house that just was not scared of him. He tried everything eventually getting frustrated and snatching the boy’s candy bag and vanishing to go find his mate. He had no idea he had just stolen from Samhain, who for one night a year was the most powerful being in existance.

“Wait hold on you fucking stole the spirit of Halloween’s bag of candy after you couldnt scare him because your feelings were hurt!?” Leech had hopped out of his lap and pushed her hands through her hair.

“He had no fear and I couldnt just let him get away! All the candy bars had razors in them anyway..”

“Where’s the fucking bag now Robert??” She grabbed his robe in her fists.

“In my lair I was going to eat around the knives!”

“Jesus christ Junior you must have really pissed him off!”

“How do we fix this then just give him back the bag?” Freddy asked.

“That’s a start….” The ex vampire took a long drink from her beer.

“Where would we find the little brat though?” Uncle Penny asked.

“Probably where the celebrations are thickest. That’s where I’d go for a holiday about me.” Freddy added.

“Looks like were going to have to do a traditional human halloween then. Let’s get some costumes carve some pumpkins and get me another god damn drink.” Leech sighed, it was going to be a long difficult day.

—————-

“Ok so what im thinking is if the Cenobites are still throwing their big ass Halloween party then thats probably a good place to start since that thing is going to be huge. Which means if were going everyone is going to first need a costume.” Leech and the rest of the former monsters stood in the center of town finally making it out of the house.

“Yeah one, none of us were invited and two, theres going to be nothing left in the stores. Except the sexy stuff and there is no way im going as sexy thing that should never be made sexy…maybe Jingles will though that seems like his wardrobe of choice.” Freddy grumbled keeping a firm grasp on the poor overwhelmed Prince Vlad.

“Well sorry for being too tall to fit into your clothes which are made for small women” Robert sneered at the former dream demon. He was getting strange looks left and right for his overly tight pants/ pink bathrobe combo. Leech took note of it when a few girls stopped and stared while giggling amongst themselves. The ex vampire grabbed her mate’s arm glaring daggers at the women. Robert put two and two together and shot her an amused smile “Really?” he asked her. “We need to get you some real clothes” she grumbled.

“How are we getting into this party then if we weren’t invited?” Uncle Penny interrupted them. “We’re not exactly equipped for sneaking in and out of places anymore.”

“Crashing will be easy, its taking on an all powerful being as humans that will be extremely difficult.” Leech stated. she had crashed many a party in her teens when she used to deal pot to rich kids getting in wouldnt be a problem.  

“And what are we gonna do when we catch the twerp? Shake and yell?” the older eldritch asked.

“I have a feeling rattling his brains and screaming at him is probably a bad way to appease the god of Halloween to change us back” Freddy added.

“Well I’m not saying I’m sorry” Robert growled. There was no way he was going to beg some young pagan god to forgive him.

“You do realise as humans we can die now right? You better fucking say youre sorry Bob” his mate scolded him.

“Seriously Jingles what if were stuck like this for a whole year?” freddy added realizing the entire monster population depended on the proudest thing in existence to admit he fucked up. They were doomed.

“I do not beg.”

“Ha! That’s a load bullshit! I’ve heard it!” Leech laughed.

“Leech! that’s….thats different…” Robert hissed

“we’ve all heard it Jingles anyone with a drain has heard it at some point.”

The former clown looked off to the side and grumbled something unintelligble.

“All right look, we need to hurry up and get something for us to wear to this thing. I’ll take the clowns. Freddy you try to handle your roommate.”

“Good luck with that.” Uncle Penny said eyeing the frantic looking prince.

“Just call me when he eventually breaks something” Leech grabbed the eldritchs and made her way to the nearest store.

—————-

“Robert what the hell is that?” both Leech and “Uncle Bob” as he decided to call himself, stared at Robert Gray in confusion as he exited a near by restroom

“You said buy a costume.”

“Ok but I thought youd get another clown costume why the hell are you Spiderman?” his mate placed her fingers over her temples. Of course hed pick out something like this.

“I’m a giant spider trapped as a man I thought it was fitting.”

“Yeah but I’m going as a ring master and…..you know what never mind, fuck me for trying” leech groaned it was hard enough to control two eldritch horrors in a crowded Halloween store already, trying to coordinate anything was off the table at this point.

“I’m going as the devil!” Uncle Bob announced proudly pointing to his horns.

“Yeah Im pretty sure Phil is not going to be too excited about that.”

“Ah fuck Phil. He thinks hes hot shit with his whole goat yoga scheme right now. This is how a real lure is done!” the former clown gestured to the red and black suit he was wearing smugly.

“Did you…put paint…on your face?” Leech sniffed the air, it reeked of paint fumes.

“Yeah! Spray paint! It burns a little but man do I look good!”

“I think the fumes are going to your head old man” Robert folded his long arms over the spider logo on his chest.

“Jesus christ neither of you would survive a day as humans without my help.” Leech grumbled as the clowns began to argue once again. She ignored the inevitable chaos and got out her phone groaning loudly over the 6 missed calls from Freddy. No doubt they were about something Dracula had done. Robert yellped when Uncle Bob whacked him on the head with his plastic pitch fork. Leech debated taking a photo of them for later blackmail but decided she should probably find out what the hell happened to Freddy first. As she was about to call him back she doubled over in pain. Something just went wrong in her abdomen. Something she’d never thought she’d feel again.

------------

OH NOOOO what ever could it beee! Poor Leech she’s had to put up with so much today. Penny better try to make it up to her. 

[monstermash]

cassianbodhi

unfortunate backstory for this message is me pleading u to send it to me so i can dump my hcs somewhere but lets disregard that for now

1- Who is the most affectionate? !! i feel like probably bodhi bc cassian is a little bit distant from affection at first bc everyone hes ever loved has gone in some way or another but they’re both pretty gd touch starved at this point so there is so much snuggling and eventually cassian warms up to pda a little bit more2-Big spoon/Little spoon? bodhi is almost always the big spoon even tho he’s 2″ shorter than cass bc he likes to be comforting and wrap himself around him. jetpack ur bros3-Most common argument? both of them are.. kinda bad when it comes to self worth n personal love and all that so if they ever argue its kinda along the lines of “cassian jeron andor listen to me you are so worthwile and important and i love you” or one of them being very reckless on a mission and the other getting angry 4-Favorite non-sexual activity? they like playing cards together, and sometimes cassian reads before bed and bodhi wiggles up to lay next to him and read over his shoulder spooned behind him5-Who is most likely to carry the other? cassian ends up carrying bodhi to bed a lot because he’ll just not sleep for a while and then pass the hell out in the middle of the mess hall and cassians like.. well here we go again and hauls him off to bed6-What is their favorite feature of their partner’s? bodhi’s favorite thing about cassian: all of his jackets but also his Smilecassian’s favorite thing abt bodhi: his hair ?? its amazing he has a Thing for bodhis hair 7-What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other? well im feelin like bodhi realizes hes kinda in love w cassian some time after scarif and then just spur of the moment kisses him? so thats the main first change is bam okay they’re kissing now8-Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate? someone i follow uses Bode as a nickname for bodhi which i think is hella cute in like a modern au or smth. bodhi calls cassian Cass a lot just as a quick abbreviation but also captain and sometimes other people call bodhi “your pilot” around cassian and he accidentally picked that up9-Who worries the most? its bodhi no question10-Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant? bodhi has a notebook full of things he needs to remember that he keeps in his bag or pocket at all times and it includes cassian’s standard coffee and food orders just in case11-Who tops? you fools... the strict top/bottom dichotomy is oppressing us all.. 12-Who initiates kisses? already answered13-Who reaches for the other’s hand first? bodhi is the #1 hand holding champion of the resistance so he’s into that 14-Who kisses the hardest? depends on the situation i think, after a mission they do have some intense “oh my god we made it out holy shit i love you so much” kisses, or sometimes if cassian has to do a mission w/o bodhi (or vice versa) they can barely make it out of the ship before the other is over there kissin them15-Who wakes up first? cassian is a really oddly early riser when he doesnt need to be and sometimes for meetings. plus he wakes up early w nightmares and stuff sometimes and likes to just lay in bed w bodhi there until he calms down16-Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer? both of them i think.. bodhi Never wants to get up bc in the empire they were pretty strict abt that stuff 17-Who says I love you first? already answered18-Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?) ok im talkin abt my college au here bc im uncontrollable but like. some days cassian has classes and bodhi doesn’t and bodhi makes him lunch every once in a while before test days or whatever and he always puts in a little note that’s like “you’ve got this!! i believe in you!! you can’t have your zepplin shirt back until you focus and do your readings tonight 19-Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first? assuming we’re going w a modern au in which either of them has family to speak of, i’d say bodhi in his weekly call to his mom to chat he’s like “hey mom i have a boyfriend!! he’s cute and has nice hair but he’s bad at making jokes”20-What do their family/friends think of their relationship? bodhi’s mom is totally fine w it and so is his sister, cassian’s parents are kinda weird abt it at first but mostly bc his last relationship was really weird so they’d question it no matter who he was dating. but, they trust this bodhi kid and think if anyone has to date cassian it should be them21-Who is more likely to start dancing with the other? bodhi doesn’t think hes a good dancer.. at all but he’s fairly ok but cassian is.... a really good dancer and this is totally inspired by the film dirty dancing havana nights which i still havent seen but he’s a good dancer but doesnt dance much so bodhi’s really surprised but then some nights they sneak into the mess hall when they can’t sleep and they dance because its good for emotional release and theres space down there

22-Who cooks more/who is better at cooking? theyre both pretty good cooks but cassian cooks more bc it reminds him of what little he remembers of home23-Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines? bodhi googles them because he thinks hes funny and he keeps them in his notebook24-Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?25-Who needs more assurance? both of them rlly? like bodhi’s been thru some shit and so has cassian and theyre both kinda insecure and not the best at positivity abt themselves so they both need a lot of reassurance abt things26-What would be their theme song? hmmm either in our bedroom after the war by stars, or you are a runner and i am my fathers son by wolf parade27-Who would sing to their child back to sleep? cassian definitely..28-What do they do when they’re away from each other? they try to keep busy but they definitely send transmissions as much as possible to keep in touch29-one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart. yknow. what happens in canon is enough for me lol30-one headcanon about this OTP that mends it. they have a lot of rituals after scarif for when one or both of them can’t sleep for any number of reasons, sometimes they’ll sneak out to this big hill near the base and look at the stars, or they’ll play cards (bodhi’s teaching cassian some tricks, but cass is fairly sure they arent good tricks and theyre making him lose), or cassian will tell bodhi about galactic history and run his fingers through his hair until eventually the sun rises or they fall back asleep