#once i digest the absolute shit sandwich that life blessed me with a bit more

[takivvatanga]

[fan-fiction-book-club]

Surprise

WARNING:  THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SURPRISE.  IF YOU HAVE NOT READ IT, THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO FULLY EXPERIENCE THE SURPRISE...I’M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THAT...

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, hi!  How are you wonderful people that have come to visit me at my beautiful side blog here?  Pleasantries aside, a little backstory about this particular fic.  Yes.  You read that right.  It’s one of my own design.  I’m going to be honest.  I panicked and couldn’t find anything for this month’s fic, so I was a self promo whore and here we are.  

But I had to write something for Yurio’s birthday.  It was the first of March and he is truly my son and I love him.  If I had to relate to one person in Yuri on Ice, it’s definitely Yurio.  He’s my level of bitter and angry and equal parts adorable.  Therefore, he’s me in a nutshell.  And I squeal a little inside over his cuteness.  He is my little squishy angel.  Why is everyone in in Yuri on Ice so squishy and cute?  Like...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!

....Sorry.  You know it’s bad when Sherlock busts up book club because I’m being a spazz.  Now, onto the actual story!

Let’s take a moment to talk about Yakov.  Yakov, we know him, we love him.  He’s a cranky, bitter, old man.  Like Yurio will be once he gets older.  And where does he get that from?  Yakov.  Let’s keep that in mind as we read along.  

I want to be a fly on the wall now that Yuri and Victor are living together and practice on the same rink.  I like to think that Victor is still sort of Yuri’s coach and his coaching always turns into them being adorable together and never getting anything accomplished and that pisses Yakov off to no end, not to mention makes Yurio dry heave in the corner.  

I also love that in the back of Yurio’s mind, he still thinks about Yuri coming to him, asking him about doing quads.  I bet that’s one of those things that keeps the fire in his belly lit.  And so, our sweet little bean begins his practice with Yuri’s EROS ROUTINE.  And I’m just...

 And only one thing can make his eros routine any better is the source of his eros.  Let’s throw in Otabek! 

It’s enough to get Yurio to bite the ice because my son is a huge dork and doesn’t know how to process his feelings for Otabek.  And all it took was his voice to make him completely distracted.  And Yakov’s blood pressure goes up, but not so much.  Remember when I told you to keep Yakov’s disposition in mind?  That’s Yurio’s first red flag there’s something going on.

The actual first red flag was Otabek showing up out of the blue.  Otabek always tells Yurio when he’s coming.  But now, he shows up and takes Yurio out to see Moscow.  And I melt a little inside because it’s basically a date for those two.  And that makes me so happy.

Now, I need to do a little explanation here.  The story of the Machine.  It’s a true story.  I highly suggest listening to it because it’s an absolute roller coaster from beginning to end.  And it happened in Moscow in 1995, way before Yurio was born.  The Reader’s Digest version?  This guy accidentally takes Russian classes in college thinking they’re Spanish and sticks through it, so his teacher can get her masters degree.  When he takes Russian IV, they went to Russia and he accidentally ended up joining the Russian mafia under the name “The Machine” because the only phrase he could think of in Russian was “I am the Machine.”  Therefore, he became known as the Machine.  What does that have to do with Yuri on Ice?  Absolutely nothing, but I think it’s a fantastic story that everyone needs to hear at least once in their life.

I LOVE that Otabek still calls Yurio a soldier.  But not just any soldier.  Because of their new relationship status of six months, He’s Otabek’s little soldier.  And because we can’t have nice things, Yuri’s Angels come in and screw us all over.  So much for Yurio and Otabek’s date.  However, it does end up with them back at Victor and Yuri’s.  Not the first time Otabek’s saved him from his fans.  Probably not the last.  

Can we take a sec to think about Otabek putting Yurio on his shoulders to get the house key?  And Yurio being a smol?

Because I think about that on a regular basis.  And Otabek giving him shit for it made me giggle like a little girl.  I can’t even begin...Now that I’m done gushing about my child, let’s gush about his boyfriend.  Otabek yells at Yurio for cursing.  And I, for one, find that adorable.  Along with Yurio wanting to mainline Red Bull.  I know that feeling all too well.  

But there’s a line in here that needs to be addressed.  Because I have a feeling that Yurio has stayed with Yuri and Victor a time or two and has seen some shit.  Some shit he didn’t necessarily want or need to see.  Some shit that makes this:

...Look like this.

And my little angel goes like:

My poor baby...Ahem.  Back to the story and no more overkill on the GIF usage.

Because we’re about to get some Yurabek cuddles and I love it.  They’re having a moment because practice wore poor little Yurio out and all he wants is some warm snuggles with his boyfriend in the guest room.  The way I wrote this scene out sounds so relaxing.  Also, Otabek’s personal fulfillment being Yurio’s success makes me feel so warm inside.  Because he knows how much winning gold means to him.  And that makes me happy.  I can see Otabek being the one to set himself on fire just to keep Yurio warm.  No one else, but he’d do it for Yurio.  

Let’s put their love aside for another couple that I can’t help but gush over.  Victor’s birthday party.  We always hear that whole horror stories of getting drunk at the office Christmas party.  And since Victor’s birthday happens to be on Christmas, I figured his birthday would be a nice stand-in.  That’s what happens when we see both Victor and Yuri drunk at the same time.  And Russia declares a state of national emergency.   That’s one of those things that we don’t need to talk about...

But now, Yurio starts piecing things together.  He’s going to vent to Otabek about the day feeling off and weird and that there’s something going on, but he doesn’t know what.  And when he comes to the conclusion he’s being paranoid, Otabek tells him he loves him for that very reason.  And again, I become a puddle.  This entire story is good old fashioned fluff and full of moments like that and gahhhhhhhhhh...

Let’s talk about Yuri.  Not Yurio.  We’ve talked about him this whole time.  We’re going to talk about our little sexy pork cutlet bowl that we can’t help but love.  Yuri Katsuki is a tiger mommy.  I can guarantee it.  When it comes to his adoptive son, he is a tiger mommy.  He wants to see Yurio grow and protect him with every fiber of his being.  Honestly, I can’t blame him.  For the next ten minutes, Yuri’s going to bitch at Otabek for falling asleep with Yurio.  Why?  Because that doesn’t fit into his plan.  That’s right.  Why do you think Yuri and Victor skipped out on practice that morning?  They’ve been busy with other things.  

And Otabek struck fear into Yuri’s heart.  Because not only is Yuri protective of his son, but Otabek is just as protective of his boyfriend.  Love has many different faces...And we see two of them right then and there.  But, because Yurio is an impatient little shit, Otabek had to fake a phone call with his coach about next season.  Which evolves into a little bit of trash talk from both sides.  Which ends up into some cuddles in Otabek’s back while they go back to his hotel.  

Now, the fun part.  SURPRISE!  Happy birthday, Yurio!  Everyone knew but him.  Otabek was just the distraction for the day.  Not that he minded much.  It was a day with Yurio.  He’s not complaining.  However, Yurio being sandwiched between his dads was an unwelcome surprise.  And all he wanted was cake and his boyfriend.  He didn’t want the surprise party.  But deep down...since Yurio is kind of a little diva whether he wants to admit it or not, he’s not going to say no.  It’s like the banquet when he said he got “dragged” into a dance off with Yuri.  No way in hell.  He looked way too willing in those pictures.  Phichit’s an excellent camera man.

Speaking of the selfie queen!  Yuri, God bless him, found the champagne again...And he’s reeeeeeeeally drunk.  Unfortunately, Victor stepped outside for a minute for whatever reason.  Yuri’s getting all nostalgic about when they met and all that happiness.  We all know how that went.  And Yurio’s ready to drive his foot in Yuri’s back again.  And Yuri slips back into speaking Japanese and tells him he loves him.  

I’m sure you’re wondering.  Lumi, how the hell does Phichit the selfie queen fit into this?  Well, friends, because Yurio doesn’t have Victor to pawn Yuri’s drunk ass off on, he turns to Phichit.  And Phichit is more than happy to take him.  Bless.  Bless the selfie queen.  

And now, the night has began to wind down and the birthday boy has had enough, so they go back up to Otabek’s hotel room and go sleepy-by.  And all is right with the world...