#oncebittemtwicestupid

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.23

Keith had been had. Lance had slipped out of talking to him by making him flustered, then they’d put a totally dumb movie on... and the stupid night had slipped away before he knew what was happening. Lance was infuriatingly relaxed. He’d laughed at the big pieces of garlic on the pizza, complimented him for not being a bad first timer in a weird way that made Keith’s heart go weird, then started making fun of the horror comedy they were watching. There was some name for the genre that Lance had used, it wasn’t comor, or hormedy, but it was something as equally stupid sounding. After half a dozen drinks it’d sounded good enough to laugh at. Now Keith was laying in bed, hiding himself away from Lance. He’d been aiming to get Lance’s guard down, not his own... What even was last night? And what the heck was Lance doing making so much noise too early in the morning? How was he supposed to ignore his existence when Lance sounded like he was demolishing the house? What happened to getting up and sneaking into his office for his morning meal? And why was keith trying to do the brain without the coffee? He couldn’t brain without the coffee.

Shuffling into the kitchen, Keith grimaced at the noise. Hunk was talking a million miles an hour as he blended something, Pidge sitting at the kitchen table with her knees up and laptop in front of her

“Hey, man! I’m making breakfast smoothies! Do you want one?!”

Yelling over the blender, Hunk’s stupid face was smiling too much... that was mean. Hunk was alright, but too much smile in the morning was weird

“Coffee...”

Lance was already working the coffee machine, Keith frowning as he noticed the way Lance’s hands were shaking

“Way ahead of you. Sit down and I’ll bring a cup over. Don’t disturb the gremlin, she’s extra cranky this morning”

Keith was perfectly fine avoiding a cranky Pidge, carefully taking Lance’s usual seat, lest he bump the table and set the gremlin off

“Get fucked”

Keith raised an eyebrow, not sure who the comment was directed at

“Fucking piece of shit!”

The laptop? It had to be directed at the laptop... right? Shuffling over to him, Keith eyed Lance. He looked like he should still be in bed, most of the coffee in Keith’s cup was now pooling on the saucer under it

“Sorry... here we go”

As Lance set the coffee down, he winced at the minute amount of sound it made. Catching Lance by the wrist, the vampire cringed, Keith staring up at his unwell face

“Lance? Have you fed this morning?”

“Couldn’t... Company”

An unfed vampire wasn’t safe... Not that he was worried about how ill Lance looked... or felt strangely concerned about his wellbeing. That was the lack of coffee talking

“Go feed, I’ll cover you”

“But...”

“Just go already. You’re disturbing my coffee”

Lance stumbled over his own feet as he shuffled off. Keith staring at his half empty coffee cup sadly. What a waste of coffee... Fuck being socially polite. Lifting the cup off the unmatching saucer, something very unLance, further proving how bad he must feel because everything always had to match, Keith poured the other half his coffee back into his cup as Hunk cut the blender. The lack of sound was welcoming. Grinning, Hunk went to turn to Lance

“Here... huh... where’d he go?”

Pidge grunted, Keith trying to get the coffee in the cup when it insisted on running down the side and under the saucer

“Keith?”

“Just a... fuck”

Fuck all coffee wound up in his mug, Pidge snickered as Keith frowned deeply

“Keith?”

“He had to check his work phone”

“Oh, maybe I should take this down to his office... it’s best if he drinks its right away”

“No! No, ugh. We had a late night...”

That wasn’t how Keith wanted it to sound. Pidge closed her laptop, but her and Hunk giving him a funny look

“What?”

“You two had a late night, hmm?”

“Not like that”

“Not like, what?”

Keith groaned. He should have kept his mouth shut

“Shut up”

Pidge poked her tongue at him. All Keith wanted was his coffee. Pouring out the strangely green smoothly, Hunk smiled at him

“Man, if there’s something going on between you and Lance...”

“No”

Cackling, Pidge wasn’t having it

“Me thinks he denies too fast”

“Me thinks I need my coffee”

Keith died a little on the inside. Who the hell was he? He didn’t talk like that

“Keith and Lance...”

“Sitting in a tree?”

Hunk didn’t sound sure about continuing Pidge’s teasing

“Look, it’s not like that. He’s a friend. I’m just worried about him...”

Oh. Fuck.

Pidge grinned at him so widely that she surely thought she was right with her line of teasing. Hunk, on the other hand, lost his smile

“Something’s wrong with him, isn’t it? He said it was Miriam. Was he having tests? Is that why he wasn’t responding? He’s been acting really weird for the last few weeks”

“He’s acting weird because he’s been hiding his boyfriend”

“Pidge, you know what I’m talking about. He like never leaves without letting us know”

Raising the cup of coffee to his lips, Keith was so close...

“Keith, what’s going on with Lance?”

Why did people have to think he could human before his coffee? It was cruel and inhumane to bully him like this. Lowering his cup slightly, Keith sighed

“Lance is fine. We’re not dating. My stupid brother took off and thinks being here will be good for me. Shiro has like no chill, as you should know Pidge. Miriam had a really bad fall, broken hip and messed up her face. He was organising things in Platt”

It was on the tip of Keith’s tongue to mention that Luis had been there, but he didn’t know what Lance had told his two best friends in relation to his family, outside of Miriam being his grandmother.

“And he didn’t have another doctor’s appointment?”

By “doctor’s appointment” Keith assumed that was Lance speak for a visit to Coran. The previous days talk with Coran felt like it’d happened weeks ago

“Nah. I mean, I wouldn’t know. He does his own thing”

“He always has. We totally tried to have him move in with us when we were in Platt, but he wasn’t having it. He’s always been a bit odd”

“And here I thought you guys were best friends?”

“We are. He’s our odd best friend. And you’re our new odder best friend. We totally decided that in group chat”

Keith didn’t know what to make of that

“You talk about me?”

“Only to tease Lance. You do know you’re like the first person he has ever like warmed up to like this. That’s why we were sure you two were secretly dating”

“Oh, we totally are. Keith’s dick game is totally on point”

With his coffee cup heading back towards his lips, Keith was glad he didn’t have a mouthful or it’d have been sprayed across the table at Lance’s casual remark

“Lance!”

“What? You’re a total dick and you know it”

The bastard vampire shot him finger guns as Keith’s heart decided it needed to keep racing from Lance’s comment. Pidge cackled with laughter

“Oh, man. If I wasn’t convinced before, I am now. You should have seen the look on your face!”

Being a total arsehole, Lance placed his hand on Keith’s shoulder

“Did you tell them all about us, baby cakes?”

Keith growled. Why the fuck had ever been worried about this dick?

“Keep touching me and I’ll break your hand”

“Look at them, Hunk! Okay. So you’re like weird room mates...”

“Yep. For now. At least until I paint the house”

“Have you thought of a colour scheme yet?”

“I was thinking of going full ‘70’s. Shag pike carpet, lots of mismatched prints...”

Why was Lance’s hand still on his shoulder? And why was Keith now hyper focused on the fact Lance was touching him? He didn’t like it. He didn’t like Lance. He didn’t like the way he felt all weird since coming to the house... Something was definitely wrong with his heart, it kept racing for no good reason

“You do that and you’re dead to me”

“If I’d known that, I would have done it sooner”

“That enough you two. Here, I made you a smoothie. It’s chocked full of the good stuff”

Lance finally removed his hand from Keith’s shoulder. The idiot walking into the dining chair in front of him. Maybe Lance had been using him for support, and there was no greater meaning to it? Shiro did say he had the tendency to over think things...

“God, you’re worse than me. Sit down before you break your whole house”

Lance took a seat next to Pidge

“Better?”

“Much”

“You’re not as cranky”

“And you don’t look as dead”

Pidge wasn’t seeing Lance the way Keith was. Lance had a little more colour in his face, but there was pain in the corner of his eyes

“Damn, I was hoping to be the best looking dead guy in town. I take it you got their number plate?”

“I got more than their number plate. I got their home address and two dozen eggs that’d look great splattered across their windows”

“Pidgeon, that’s not my field of expertise”

“Then they shouldn’t have sideswiped my car”

So that was what Pidge had been so cranky... her anger hadn’t been directed at him

“No, but violence only leads to more violence”

“That’s why I’m egging their house and not punching them in the face. Hunk, help me out here”

Hunk placed the glass of smoothie in front of Lance who wrinkled his nose at it

“I’m kind of with Lance here. Besides, I already helped you out, dad’s organising the repairs as we speak”

“Merp”

“Merp to you too. Hunk, do I wanna know what’s in this?”

“Nope. Drink it all fast”

“I hate it when you say that”

As Lance drank his smoothie, Keith settled back in his chair, finally able to enjoy his first, half empty, cold, sad looking coffee.

*

Lance was not having a fun day. He’d had a very, very, very vivid dream. A very, very, very vivid dream about bending a very, very, very emo vampire hunter over his kitchen table... He’d woken up feeling strange, waking up secondary to the lower parts of his anatomy that’d apparently had a pretty good time without his permission. Washing his underwear had been a lesson in humiliation, the only consolation being he had his own private bathroom. His dream had been way too vivid, like waaaaaay to vivid to the point he swore he could feel Keith on his skin... and after showering, he just felt deflated. Like he was running on a third of his strength. Weak and shaky, worse than he had the day before. He’d barely been out the shower five minutes before Hunk was calling to say they were on their way, and Pidge was pissed.

Trying to choose something to wear had been a struggle, by the time he’d done that, he could hear Hunk’s car coming, his stupid senses deciding he needed to hyper aware. He hadn’t had time to feed, nor to prewarn Keith, or get his shit together because how he was supposed to face Keith. He felt as if he’d violated the man by dreaming about him... Especially when he kind of wanted to reverse the positions... He was a goddamn pervert... Keith wasn’t... they hadn’t... He hadn’t been horrible company the night before. He’d tried to press him for information, but couldn’t a guy just relax and eat some bad pizza in peace? Not that the pizza had been bad... Keith didn’t know better when it came to a pizza drowning in toppings.

When Hunk started the blender Lance had felt as if his brain was in their with the other half dozen ingredients. Pidge was murderous, someone having sideswiped her car during the early hours of the morning. She’d spent the morning reviewing the security feed from the front of her house... Lance not quite able to find the right time to slip out the kitchen and drain a blood bag like his body was telling him he needed to do. He hadn’t thought Keith would see how poorly he felt, his hands were shaking as he tried to banish the thoughts of his unwanted dream. He felt like he should be apologising repeatedly and begging not to be decapitated for betray him like this.

Then Keith had gone and been even nicer, sending to feed while he babysat Pidge and Hunk. Lance had nearly torn the blood bag in half in his rush to feed. Coran had said “changes”, not damn dreams like he was a teenager again. They’d had a bonding moment watching TV. Keith was pretty funny when he wasn’t trying to murder him, or being stupider than words could describe. His taste in movies really was as bad a Pidge’s, the pair would be an unstoppable remote hogging pair if they teamed up. Keith just... He’d opened up somewhat, awkward with Pidge and Hunk, but not as awkward as he’d been. He talked. He covered for Lance over what had happened in Platt. He’d covered for him a lot, and Lance didn’t know why he was going that little bit extra to keep Hunk and Pidge from worrying.

“Dude, I’m surprised your kitchen’s this messy. Normally you’re a clean freak in here”

As Lance recovered from the horrible green sludge he’d choked down for Hunk’s benefit, he was almost envious that Pidge had missed out. He’d take a dirty kitchen over that smoothie any day of the year

“Keith made pizzas last night. We couldn’t be bothered cleaning up after”

“Keith, man. Another cooking aficionado?”

“No”

Keith’s answer was blunt. The fact he’d pulled himself together after Lance’s little temper tantrum was to be applauded. The wood fire stove came with the house, but rarely got used for anything other than pizzas. The thing was a temperamental old bitch on the best of days, but at least she was always there when there was no power or gas. Poor Hunk didn’t know how to deal with Keith

“Not from scratch, but it was pretty good”

“Are you two sure you’re not dating?”

Lance really wished Pidge would give the topic a rest. He’d had a tough enough morning as it was

“Pidgeon, I wouldn’t hold out on you if we were. I know how much you love those tiny little details...”

Pidge covered her ears with her hands

“I don’t want to know”

“Then give it a break already. Hunk, what are you Pidge up to for the rest of the day?”

“Not much, man. This wasn’t even planned...“

Planning would have been nice. Then he could have planned to hide until he died. He wouldn’t have had to face Keith. What kind of idiot put their hand on a caffeine deprived hunter and cracked lame jokes? Oh, that was right, it was him. He was the idiot. He wasn’t even sure why he had. He’d felt a little woozy as the blood rushed through his system, but once his hand was on Keith, he’d had a hard time letting go.

“... I’ll probably help my dad at the garage today. What about you, Pidge?”

“Seeing I’m not allowed to egg houses even when they house arseholes, I’ll probably set up a board and see what I can figure out. It’s been ages since we went on a proper hunt”

Pidge had the remnants of various boards tucked away in the attic of her family home. They were essentially murder boards for supernatural things. Photos, timelines, interesting articles. It was something she didn’t really talk about around outsiders, and something the three of them had taken to doing together. Lance felt a flare of jealousy over the fact Keith was being made privy to secret group information. Hunk didn’t seem to care

“Ooooh. Why didn’t you tell me you started a new board?”

“It’s an old one. Garrison, again. I mean, like, you’d think they would have fixed the arrangements of the wars. We all call it the Third World War, and sure there was a huge technology jump, but it was aaaaaaaages before the First World War”

It was and it wasn’t. That was the weird thing. Everyone knew it happened, yet when you tried to focus really hard on it, things became a bit muddle. Lance couldn’t quite put his finger on it either. It was kind of like some mass imagination thing had happened, but there was proof of it happening even if they couldn’t say exactly when. Personally Lance wouldn’t have listed it as a world war, and more an allies skirmish between two sides who both thought they were right and leader who had peanuts for brains... or maybe one of those monkeys with the cymbals that smashed them together every time they got remotely close to a good idea

“The good old Garrison board. How we loved you so. You revisiting the hospital?”

“No, I was thinking of re-examining the building usage lists. I want to see if we can set up again for another night in another building. Lance is probably going to be busy with Miriam, so I’m keeping it local for now. There’s this total members only club in Platt, that I have been dying to see. They reckon it’s run by werewolves who were born werewolves and that all the staff are werewolves that drank from water in their footprints”

Werewolves. Lance’s mood shifted again. He was turning into a breeder, with two new werewolf roommates coming. Werewolves could be quite lusty, and his arse was definitely saved for someone else. Someone with a big dumb black mullet... Lance chocked on air as he quickly cut that train of thinking off. Keith was basically a working condom advertisement. Emotional issues that’d never been treated, far too good looking to be human, cranky 24/7, plus he wasn’t even domesticated. He was never going to be interested in him and the sooner his brain got it together, the better it’s be for him.

“How about Pidge and I go pick the board up, then we all can work on it together?”

Noooooooooooo. Lance loved Hunk with the power of a billion suns, but noooooo. He didn’t want to be trapped on the couch next to Keith. He still needed time to settle his instincts, and to push down that damn dream... mostly the dream. Making the mistake of closing his eyes, the dream popped back into the forefront of his mind. Back’s had never really been sexy, but Keith’s broad shoulders and muscular form as he gripped the table... the sounds he made as Lance rode him hard into the table... The warmth... Keith was so fucking warm and loud... Whining, Lance clamped a hand over his mouth as his eyes shot open

“Dude?”

“I think I’m going to be sick”

He was... Hunk’s smoothie had to come out one way or the other. Bolting from the kitchen, he heard Keith covering him again. Why couldn’t keith go back to being a dick! Things were so much easier then, and now he was all friendly with his friends

“We kind of got drunk last night. He’s probably hung over... I’ll check on him. Why don’t you guys come back this afternoon and we’ll work on your board then?”

“Damn, man. I’ve never seen him hung over before...”

“Are you sure it’s just a hangover?”

“He’ll be fine. I need more coffee”

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.25

Keith was impressed. He was impressed by Lance’s work ethic. Since damn near throwing his laptop in Lance’s lap, the vampire had been typing and clicking away, distracting Keith from the videos he was supposed to be watching. His heart wasn’t in it. Pidge and Hunk might be a step above normal paranormal investigators, but they were still so clueless of the world around them. Peering over to look at Lance’s screen, Keith quirked an eyebrow. His feelings of being impressed changing as he barely stifled a laugh as he found Lance wasn’t working on ghost hunting, instead in the bottom of the left hand corner of the screen was a video of cat compilations playing as the vampire checked his emails. Pidge was going to be super cranky when she found out. Her wrath was nothing to laugh at, finding it somewhat annoying she’d declared herself boss of their weird club thing. Her passion couldn’t be faltered. She’d already seemed to have sussed out what she wanted to investigate next, which was one of the local pubs where guests had stated they’d seen ghostly apparitions and heard crying only to find no body there. Personally he thought the cries were probably from other guests having sex. He’d made that mistake before, before he knew what Adam was to Shiro. Having woken in the middle of the night to someone “whimpering” “oh, Jesus” repeatedly, he’d crept from his bedroom, barely three steps into the hall before he realised it was Shiro, and that the pair of them had left the door opened while they boned. He’d bolted back into his room, thrown himself down on his bed, then buried himself under his blankets as he tried not to hear what was happening between his brother and his boyfriend. The following day Shiro had walked with a limp, Keith feeling highly uncomfortable as he knew what’d happen. The following week when Adam had come down with hip pain, and Shiro was fussing over him ridiculously, Keith had invested in a new set of noise cancelling headphones. There were just some things about his brother that he didn’t need to know, ever.

Keith wasn’t aware that Lance noticed he was watching. Closing his email, the vampire opened up a blank word document. Thinking he was about to draft a letter, Keith had almost turned away when Lance started typing

“Don’t tell Pidge. She’ll shoot me”

Keith couldn’t help the almost giggle light laughter he barked out. Lance sighing at him, as Pidge dug into his side with her elbow

“Something you want to share?”

“No. No, Lance just clicked on a dodgy link and I was laughing at his stupidity”

Lance typed

“Thanks for nothing”

As Pidge sighed deeply, as Keith bit down his laughter. It wasn’t his fault Lance had been sprung doing the wrong thing

“Can’t you take this seriously?”

Lance raised his head to look to Pidge

“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know why Keith’s even laughing”

“Because you’re an idiot?”

“Thanks, Pidge. If you’re so smart, what did you find”

“I never thought you’d ask. Okay, guys. I’ve got a plan for this weekend”

Hunk and Lance both groaned simultaneously. Shay laughing at the pair of them

“I think your assistants are too keen on your plan”

“They never are, but if it’s the five of us, we should be fine. Keith can man the camera, while we explore”

Keith’s internal humour dried right up. He wasn’t supposed to be being involved

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the photographer of the group. Now, guess what I found, guys!”

Pidge was way too into this. When no one replied, she cast something to the screen before getting up and walking over to the TV

“What’s that?”

Hunk already looked panicked at the thought of whatever it was on the screen behind Pidge, his tone just a pinched

“I found an old map of Garrison, it’d been miscategorized...”

“You mean you were snooping where you weren’t supposed to and found an old map that wasn’t supposed to be found, don’t you?”

Pidge shot Lance fingerguns

“Got it in one. You know how we guys knew about the tunnels under the town, and the old mine shaft from when Garrison was first founded? Well, I find it! The mine, I mean. They repurposed the mine into a temporary base in case they needed to retreat, but I bet you’ll never guess where the entrance is...”

Pidge drew herself up for the big reveal, Lance spoiled it

“It’s under the pub”

“... In... dammit, dude. I was going to say that”

“You snooze, you lose”

“You’re a douche”

“Rude. I thought we talked about this before”

“Yeah, but like... I’ve found the other entrance. It’s next to the cemetery”

Pidge perked back up, Keith had a bad feeling. Messing around in, and around, a cemetery wasn’t a thing. It wasn’t respectful. Those people who’d been buried there deserved to rest in peace

“Pidge, I don’t think we should be messing around near the cemetery”

Keith nodded his agreement with Hunk, Shay also looking uncomfortable

“It’s near, not in. Look, here, see this bit here, that’s where the gates are now. But you keep going a for maybe 150metres past that, down the slope bit and you come to where the entrance should be. It’s probably barricaded up, or even like buried, but we can still suss it out. No one’s been down there in like a hundred years, can you imagine what’s down there?”

“Pidge. This is really bad idea”

“But don’t you guys want to find the entrance?”

Hunk shook his head

“No”

“But...”

“It could really dangerous down there”

“We’re only going to have a look”

Lance sighed at Pidge

“We never just have a look. I’m with Hunk, I don’t mind if you can get access through the pub, but going out to find the entrance to a mine system that’s probably no longer stable isn’t a good idea. There could be a rock fall, or worse”

Pidge deflated

“So you’ll only go in through the pub”

“Yeah. Sorry, Pidge. I know you’re really keen on it, but it just isn’t safe”

Keith agreed completely with Lance... except about entering through the pub. Some things were best left alone

“Fine. I’ll go see them again... you guys are so lame”

“We’re only lame because we don’t want to see you hurt”

“Whatever. Why can’t you guys be on my side”

“It’s not about not being on side, it’s about safety. That mine has been closed up. There could be mould, or worse down there. You could get seriously sick, provided you don’t get hurt first. If anything happened to you, it’d break me to pieces”

“Okay. I get it. Fine. Whatever. Hunk, start packing up”

“But I...”

“You’re my lift. Right now I want to go home”

“Pidge...”

“I get it. Okay. You don’t want me hurt, but I’m not a baby. I’m also not a total buzzkill like you are. You always think you know what’s best, Lance. You don’t”

That wasn’t fair on Lance. Lance insisting on talking things out

“I love you, you idiot. You’re not listening to me and I don’t want your life in danger”

“I can take care of myself”

“I know you can”

Pidge brushed Lance off. Keith feeling like she was acting like a baby by having a temper tantrum over not getting her own way. Lance was genuinely concerned for her, his points valid

“Hunk, start moving”

Keith felt awkward as he said goodbye to Hunk, Shay, and Pidge. He’d walked them to the door, Hunk assuring him she’d come round and see sense once she calmed down. Keith wasn’t so sure. Wandering back into the living room, Lance had thrown his laptop to the other side of the couch, had his glasses off and his hands covering his face as he leaned back to rest the back of his head on the cushion behind him

“That went well”

“Yep”

“Are you okay?”

“Yep”

“Is Pidge going to be okay?”

“Nope. Now we have to go out tonight. I don’t wanna go out tonight”

Walking over to the couch, Keith dropped himself down beside Lance, poking him in the leg

“What do you mean, we have to go out?”

“Because I’ve known Pidge long enough to know she’s gonna wanna go snoop at the entrance”

Keith had suspected. Pidge had given up too easily

“She doesn’t listen when she gets fixated, does she?”

“Nope”

“And you have to go make sure it’s safe first?”

“Yep. Not the first time either. She found a club once in Platt, so I checked it out. Pretty much dealer central. Anything you wanted. Pretended my drink was spiked the next day. Let’s say we didn’t ever go to that club as a group”

“She’s lucky to have you”

“Yeah. It’s not just a me thing right. You wouldn’t want your little sister playing in an abandoned mine, would you?”

Lance moved his left hand up as he looked at Keith. Keith feeling himself nod, as Lance didn’t look as okay with things as he was pretending

“No. Hell, I wouldn’t even want Shiro poking around in there”

“Okay. I don’t know if it’s me overreacting, or if I’m being stupid”

“Neither. So why do we have to go?”

“I’m going, and you’re going because I figured you’d want me to not get myself killed on your watch”

“Is it likely?”

“Who knows. You stay in the car. I don’t want you hurt either”

Keith scoffed. Whatever Lance could handle, so could he. He wasn’t scared of deep dank tunnels and potentially being buried alive

“I’m a hunter”

“You’re a human. I’m going to grab something to eat. We might as well head off now, I can point the pub out on the way there”

Keith wrinkled his nose. He honestly wanted to veg out on the couch and recover from too much human interaction

“The sun’s still up”

“So?”

“People could see what we’re up to”

Lance sighed at him, letting himself slide sideways so he was leaning against Keith with his head on his shoulder. Keith’s heart did a weird beat, the closeness weirdly intimate... What was he supposed to do? Shiro normally hugged him or ruffled his hair if Keith sat against him the way Lance was right now

“Um, Lance?”

Lance made a show of groaning and stretching as he sat back up. What the hell was that? Why was Lance touching him? Now his arm felt funny...

“You’re right. We’ll wait. Dinner first, then near death adventure. Whooo hooo”

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not”

“Sarcasm is wasted on you”

“No it’s not, you’re weird”

Lance patted his leg, before shuffling forward on the couch

“I’ll grab a bag and meet you in the kitchen”

Great. Just great. Keith really didn’t want to be going on an adventure, but Lance had made his mind up and Coran had told him to look after Lance... which meant he had no choice but to do what Lance wanted.

*

With the sun still in the process of setting, Lance turned tour guide, describing the “pros and cons” of each business as he drove down the Main Street. Keith didn’t particularly care. He was more worried about being pulled over by the police with rope, two flashlights, and a shovel in the back. Lance didn’t seem to care, or maybe he did care and was talking about everything in an attempt to avoid the real issue of them about to do something very stupid.

Turning off the main road, the road to the cemetery was gravel. Old weeping willows marked the side every few dozen metres, giving it a weird feel when compared to the rest of Garrison. It was almost pretty. Cows gazed in a couple of the paddocks they passed, some kind of crop in others. He’d brought his camera because Lance had told him to, and now he really wanted to capture the view

“Want me to pull over?”

Lance was already slowing down as he guided his bronco to the gravel shoulder of the road. It wasn’t much, barely distinguishable from the road with the exception of weeds

“Huh? What are you doing?”

“You said you wanted to take a photo”

He had?

“No I didn’t”

“Yes, you did. You clearly said “I should take a photo”

Keith didn’t remember saying it... Maybe he had? Shiro’d teased him for it before

“I was thinking it...”

“And saying your thoughts out loud, apparently. If you wanna take photos, go for it. I’ll wait”

“Are you sure?”

Lance cut the engine

“Dude, don’t make this weird. Go take photos of the sunset”

Keith felt a tad foolish as he climbed out the car. Lance had told him to go for it, and now that he was, he kind of felt like he was keeping him waiting

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

“Nope. I gave you a camera so you’d have something of your own to do. You like photography, so go crazy. It’s not like the mine entrance is going to pack up and leave town while I’m parked here”

Keith still felt weird about it, but Lance had said it was okay, so it must be.

Practicing with his camera was fun, Keith took as many photos as he could knowing he’d cull the ones that weren’t up to his standard later. There was something about taking a photo. About capturing that moment, because no two moments were ever the same. He’d never be standing out on this road again, at the exact same time, capturing the exact same things again. There was something beautiful in it... not that he’d describe it like that to anyone. He still got embarrassed when Shiro would make a big deal out of some great photo he took. Secretly he was pleased, but he didn’t want to let that show. He wanted to keep the feelings that went with the image to himself. It wasn’t like he was a professional, he was just a guy with a nice camera and a nice view. That was it.

As the sun dipped lower in the horizon, Keith climbed back into the bronco

“Good to go?”

“Yep”

“Cool. It’s not that much further until we reach the entrance”

Lance wasn’t going to ask to see the photos? Something about Lance not asking disappointed him. Not that he wanted to share, but now he kind of felt like he had inconvenienced him after all. Realising Lance hadn’t turn the engine back on, he looked at the vampire

“Seatbelt”

“Really?”

“Yep. I take the safety of my passengers seriously”

It was a dirt road with no traffic. Begrudgingly Keith pulled his seatbelt on

“Better?”

“Yep. Okay, let’s get this show on the road”

Lance slowed to a crawl as they passed the cemetery. It wasn’t much. A wire fence around the graves with a gate that’d seen better days

“It’s like heritage listed. They clean it up every couple of years. There’s actually a trust that makes sure the older graves don’t lose their markers from erosion and that...”

Not like in big cities where being buried only lasted for like 25 years before someone else was buried on top of you and headstone was tossed

“Cool...”

Lance snorted as he shook his head

“I’ll bring you back here sometime during the day. The old headstones are kind of cool”

“Do you have a headstone?”

“I don’t know, do you?”

Keith deserved that. Lance was dead and alive at the same time

“Sorry”

“Don’t be. No, I don’t. When I’ve been in one place too long, Coran helps me “disappear”. It’d be nice if I could actually age past this, but the people I used to know wouldn’t believe it was me anyway. I look too young to be me”

“You don’t age? At all?”

“I wish I did. It’s hard looking like a teenager. People try to say I’m “woke” or “lit”. Don’t even get me started on modern music. I miss the days when the lyrics told a story”

“You sound like Shiro. He’s the same”

“I would say he’d a smart man, but you’re both kind of... the same”

Lance’s comment got under his skin

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I told you both you’re not a vampire from the very beginning as you both kept acting like you were. Seriously, you two are so alike that it’s laughable”

“I’m going through changes. You don’t get to be like that when you bit me”

“I bit your melodramatic arse to save you. And told you repeatedly. I’m not getting into this argument again, but you both need to use your ears when someone is trying to tell you the truth”

“How was I meant to believe you?”

“Because I saved your life?”

“You could have been planning to snack on me later”

“Keith, you might be a snack, but I try to limit my bread intake”

Keith blinked half a dozen times. Lance had to mean he was a human sized blood bag snack to a vampire, not that he was... what? Did Lance... no... Lance couldn’t... think he was hot. He was just himself... with weird purple eyes and black hair that was most definitely not a mullet... He didn’t have fluffy brown hair like Lance’s, that always sat in a kind of scruffy casual without being untidy. His skin wasn’t all brown and smooth, nor was he sporting eyes so bright and blue. Not that Keith noticed, like that, he was just observing him. Yep... Outwardsly Lance wasn’t a horrible looking specimen... maybe. He wasn’t sure... Why was he still stuck on this chain of thought?

“Dude, relax. It’s a joke. Okay, we’re here”

“Here” was a barren looking stripped hill. Half a hill, it’d been mined back to expose the stone beneath

“It’s all sandstone up there. They mined out the sandstone and shale. They eventually hit coal down there. Most of the older buildings in town are made from sandstone. I guess having the cemetery so close to the mine made it easiest when mishaps occurred. Don’t tell Pidge, but I already had a fair idea about this place existing. I mean, it had to exist, but we’ve got this old quarry further out that closed down in the ‘50’s, so I guess most people just think most of the stuff came from there or was shipped up from Platt”

“I don’t think I needed the history lesson. Your age is showing”

“I wish it was. I think I’m the only person in the world who hopes to wake up with grey hairs and the occasional wrinkle”

“I think you’re fine how you are”

Keith died on the inside. Fumbling his belt undone, he rushed to get out of the bronco. What the fuck was that? And was there any way to accident murder himself under a ton of rubble in the mine?

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.55

Keith felt the night was a waste. No one wanted to talk to them thanks to Lotor. It was hard to be inconspicuous when Lotor stood out in a room. The only consolation was that there were pets dressed as badly as he was, but being the pet of a rich vampire meant looks of envy and undisguised disgust. Lotor didn’t appreciate Keith sticking to water as it wasn’t the norm for pets. Keith hated to admit it, but they probably would have gotten more out of the night if Lance had come with with them. His perpetual sulk didn’t help matters. Lotor made a show of them being his pets. One or two vampires had approached to greet him, their pets looked happy enough, but it was hard to feel the same. He was used to doing things, getting up and moving, having a few drinks and listening to the conversations on the dance floor. Instead of being useful he’d spent most of the night being interrogated by Lotor’s generals, and listening to Shiro talk to Lotor... which he supposed had some use. Lotor was apparently here because he needed time away from his family. He objected to the way his family treated pets. For someone who objected, he seemed awfully familiar with “pet society”. It was enough to make Keith hate vampires all over again. If someone came up to him and told him Lotor had killed Adam he wouldn’t have been surprised.

Dropped back at the bookshop, the night was still dark, dawn soon around the corner which meant Lotor and his gang were headed home to sleep. Keith had the feeling his fae blood would protect him from the sun and he was just playing the part of needing to be inside, to maintain whatever this thing he had going on was. The first thing Keith did was remove his collar. His neck felt raw thanks to the fucking thing. Shiro might not be as vocal with his complaints, but his brother also has his collar off before they reached the front door.

Coran and Allura were waiting for them at the elevator. Keith was ready for bed, his nose itched and his headache felt like someone repeatedly bashing over the head. Holding two mugs of something, Coran smiled warmly

“Welcome back. I’m glad to see you safe”

Iverson would have preferred to choke to death than welcome them back, let alone welcome them back with a genuinely relieved tone. Fuck it. Keith was couldn’t pretend it didn’t feel nice to have a boss who cared. Managing a pained smile, Keith gave a nod

“Thanks, Coran. It’s good to be back”

“You two did very well. Now, I’ve got two hot chocolates here, almond milk with you in mind. Lance happened to mention you both enjoy them”

Coran looked exceptionally proud, Keith didn’t want to crush him. The last thing he wanted was hot chocolate. He wanted to scrub Lotor’s presence off his whole body. The man might not have a scent like Lance’s, but it was there and it was rank. Shiro patted his shoulder

“Thank you, Coran. I hope you don’t mind if we shower first”

“Not at all. Those collars have done quite the number of the pair of you, I’ve got some ointment for those rub marks. Now, before you shower, we need to collect your clothes. Outer clothes will be just fine”

Shiro tilted his head, Keith sighing. His bother so tired that he wasn’t thinking

“Let me guess, you want to collect as much physical information off our clothes as you can”

Coran’s eyes widened, Keith had the feeling he would have clapped his hands if he could have

“You’re learning number two!”

It wasn’t a big deal. He missed his boyfriend, huffily he replied

“Lance releases pheromones. We all know that”

“Ignore him, Coran. It has been a rather long night. Are there collection bags in the bathroom”

“As well as a change of clothes. Allura prepared a room for you both, and your devices are fully charged”

Keith got the implied message. Coran wanted him to call Lance. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to call Lance, but a lot had happened and so Keith wanted to process it first, sleep off this ridiculous headache, then call his boyfriend and assure him he was okay. 5 hours of intense music was not his idea of fun when sober. He had no idea how the vampires could stand having the music so fucking loud. Keith almost snorted at himself. A wild vampire party where the music was barely above voice level thanks to their hearing. Anyone rocking up to the club to party would be confused as fuck.

In the communal locker room, Keith and Shiro both stripped down. Shiro stuck in his leather pants, and Keith sorely tempted to set the pair of shorts he’d been wearing on fire. The stitching hadn’t been too kind to his junk. His junk less than impressed by the confines of his shorts. Being free of them was a god bless. Shoving their clothes into the provided bag, Keith then had to muster up the energy to move. Shiro placing his hand on his shoulders when he hadn’t automatically moved off the bench and to the showers

“Tonight wasn’t great. How do you feel after meeting Lotor?”

“If he lost his head, I can’t honestly say I’d be sad”

Shiro snorted

“Yeah. He’s not that great. We really lucked out with Lance”

“I don’t get how two vampires can be so damn different. I mean, I do... but there’s no way you can compare the two of them”

“That’s true. You gonna call him?”

“Who? Lotor?”

Why the fuck would he call Lotor when he was happy enough to never see him again?

Shiro chuckled at his confusion

“I did mean Lance”

“Oh. No. Not yet... my head feels like shit”

“That’s funny, it doesn’t look like shit”

“You’re not funny, old man. What about you? Did you get anything out of him?”

“Only the impression he doesn’t like his parents. We’ll need to follow up with Coran over his general’s and Haggar. I hate to say it but tonight was a bust”

It was bad when Shiro was agreeing. He hadn’t been able to do much either. Never did Keith want to see his brother acting like a collared pet again, especially at the hands of someone like Lotor

“If Lance was there, it wouldn’t have been”

The words just slipped out, Shiro deciding now was a great time to hug him from behind

“Awwww... My little brother misses his boyfriend”

“Shut up and get off me. That’s not what I mean. Lotor was too flashy and scared everyone off. And his creepy arse generals”

“Axca seemed alright. She didn’t say much”

“Because Ezor and Zethrid did all the fucking talking”

“Lotor did let them out of his sight. We’ll need to review the footage”

“Is there really any point? Any leads we could have gotten probably fled from Lotor’s presence. We should have gone alone. You’re big enough to pose as a vampire. And you’ve done it before. I don’t know what Lotor‘s deal is”

He didn’t know and it worried him. Lotor must have picked up on Lance’s scent, despite all Keith’s careful measures. Lotor wouldn’t forget that scent... which meant he could easily come after Lance. The thought chilled him to the bone. Lance was going through enough as it was

“Coran and Allura will let us know if they find anything. I don’t know about you, but I’m ready not to smell like a florist”

“This shit reeks”

“Has to. Come on you, let’s get Cinderella back to bed before he gets all cranky”

The shower didn’t help with Keith’s headache. By the time he was changed into sweats and a singlet, his eyes were barely open. Sipping on his now cold hot chocolate, Keith just wanted sleep. But his phone seemed to be staring at him, telling him to message Lance. Shiro was in better shape, he’d stepped outside to make a call. Keith would bet anyone $100 that Shiro was calling Curtis. He still hadn’t called his brother out on that, only adding to his already mentally long list of jobs to do. Giving into temptation, Keith traded the mug for his phone, turning the device on to see Lance had messaged him a dozen times. He couldn’t help but smile. Lance had sent through photos of Kosmo, the puppy sleeping in Lance’s bed, where he wasn’t supposed to be. The last photo was of Blue and Kosmo. Blue curled up on Keith’s pillow with Kosmo sleeping on his back. According to Lance Matt had told him to tell Keith to come get his son. Kosmo having chewed through one of Matt’s shoes, then walked around the house miserably crying out of Keith. He felt bad for Kosmo. He loved him ridiculously for a puppy he’d only had a couple of days. There were another few messages in the main chat, mostly photos of Lance and Pidge with Miriam. In Keith’s favourite Pidge had her arms around Lance, while Lance was trying to push her off. One of the staff must have taken the photo for them. Miriam still didn’t look very well, but Lance was smiling so things must be okay. Keith would never tell Pidge, but he saw a lot of himself in her. The awkwardness. The coffee obsession. The teasing insults that were secretly filled with love. He thought there were times when Pidge didn’t care about anything other than her self interest, then she’d be cuddling Lance and he’d have whiplash from the personality change. Lance was used to it, Keith only able to offer an outsiders perspective.

Glancing at the time at the top of the screen, his phone informed it was 5:55am. A perfect time for sleeping, but now he’d read Lance’s messages, he wanted to hear his voice. Every time he left Lance behind there was always an aching to go back. His shit night would have been so much better if he knew he was coming home to Lance. Pulling up Lance’s number, his thumb hovered. He shouldn’t wake Lance up. He shouldn’t be selfish because he wanted to hear his voice... but he was going to be. He needed to hear his Lance. His dopey sleepy boyfriend, who wasn’t an ego obsessed douche like Lotor. Hitting dial, Keith settled down on the thin bed, phone against his ear.

Lance answered just as Keith thought the phone was going to ring out

“Keef?”

His boyfriend sounded like he had been sleeping, but Keith instantly relaxed against the pillows at the sound of his mumbled name

“Hey, babe”

“You okay? It’s early”

How could he not smile at that

“I’m fine. I wanted to let you know I’m back at VOLTRON”

“Good... have you slept?”

“Not yet. I didn’t want to worry you when I didn’t reply because I was”

“You could have just messaged me... but I’m glad you called”

For a second Keith thought he was being brushed off, before he melted at Lance’s words

“I thought about it, but I wanted to hear you voice”

“Me too... are you okay? You didn’t get hurt?”

“Nope. I have a whole story to tell you when I see you”

“Mmm... now I’m curious”

“You’ll have to be curious a little longer”

“That’s mean”

“I feel like you’ll be mad if I tell you”

Lance was silent for a long moment before softly replying

“You know I get it. The things you need to do for work... I want to know. I want to be there for you”

“I know. Tonight was just a shit night. We were in a club and it sucked”

“Oh no... don’t tell me you found the tequila”

Keith snorted

“Not ever club story involves me and tequila. No. We had a meeting and it was a giant pain in the arse”

“I’ll give you a giant pain in the arse”

Despite his tiredness, his dick gave a very half hearted twitch of interest

“Mmmm. I think it’s meant to be the other way around”

“That’s true... you should get some sleep”

“I know. I’m in bed”

Lance went silent again, this time long enough for Keith to worry

“Babe?”

“Can I stay on the phone until you fall asleep? Or is that creepy?”

“Nah, you’re fine. I knew you loved my snoring”

“Let’s get this straight, I tolerate it because of you. Get some sleep, Samurai, and I’ll talk to you later”

“Okay... night, babe”

“Night night. Don’t let Shiro bite”

“Pfft. He’s on the phone to Curtis”

Lance sighed

“I know... If I listen I can here them. Now go to sleep. We can discuss their love life later”

*

When Keith woke up, he found Lance had slept for another two hours before ending the call. His boyfriend was bringing Blue to see Miriam, while Matt and Rieva puppy sat Kosmo and Pidge. Wording it like that, Keith snorted, thumbing over to open their main chat and warn Pidge not to get any ideas about kidnapping his fur son. Left sleeping by Shiro, Keith ignored the prangs of abandonment. Shiro hadn’t abandoned him. He wouldn’t have left him and gone home without him. Having his phone and an outlet, he was able to focus on that rather than his missing brother. At his age he really felt it was rather embarrassing to keep leaping straight to abandonment each time he woke up alone. He hadn’t been abandoned. He was just left to sleep off his god awful headache.

With no idea where Shiro was, Keith headed towards the gym, only to end up at the elevator rather than his destination. Not that he’d admit he was lost. A walk outside would totally do him good... Hitting the up button, the elevator doors slid open to reveal Curtis and Shiro. Keith’s heart flopped. His brother was off with his... whatever Curtis was, while he was sleeping

“Oh, hey, kiddo. Curtis just arrived”

Tell that to the two coffee cups in their hands

“Sure he did”

Shiro raised an eyebrow, his brother not getting where his mood was from

“I had him pick up coffee for you on the way here”

Keith eyed the cup with suspicion. He was definitely being lied to

“Sure. Whatever”

Curtis held out the cup he’d been holding

“Lance did the actual ordering. It’s probably cold by now”

And like that, Keith was feeling like a dick

“Is he with Miriam?”

He might have checked his phone but that didn’t mean he’d checked the time

“Yeah. Miriam was being bathed, we stepped out so she could have some privacy”

“Lance isn’t here?”

He didn’t smell Lance, nor did he feel like his boyfriend was in the same complex as him. Shiro nodded, stepping out the elevator and taking the offered cup of coffee as he did. His dumb brain needed a moment to catch up. Of course he couldn’t smell or see Lance, he wasn’t in the same suburb, let alone building

“Yep. Here, drink this. You’re an arsehole without your coffee”

Keith was confused as fuck. Too much blood and not enough caffeine

“Luis was visiting Miriam. As was his elder sister. We left so the nurse could clean Miriam’s more intimate areas. Lance was quite distracted today. Perhaps his mind was on you? He easily could have made time to visit”

Lance wouldn’t push a visit. Luis would upset him, then he’d feel like he was relying on Keith too much...

“Luis can jump in front of a truck”

Veronica better not be causing trouble either

Curtis looked a little pained, Shiro, however, snorted with laughter

“That’s no way to think about your potential brother-in-law”

“He constantly goes out of his way to belittle Lance. I don’t like him”

Shiro sighed, pushing the cup of coffee into Keith’s hands

“It’s complicated and not our business. Let’s go find Coran and find out what’s happening”

Keith felt like the third wheel as he sipped his coffee while they walked. The hunter sorely wished he knew which doors led to supply closets' so he could shove both Curtis and Shiro inside. Maybe not Curtis, Curtis knew the way to Coran’s office by heart. So if he shoved Shiro in a supply closest that would be the fastest way to solve his third wheel problem. Knowing all the signs from when Shiro was dating Adam, his brother was either dating the fellow hunter, or denser than a loaf bread and forgotten what boundaries were.

Knocking on Coran’s door, Coran cheerfully called out to come in. Ogling something under a microscope, Coran flashed the three of them a smile

“Just in time. Curtis, splendid to see you. How is it going with your curse?”

“Better. Lance has stopped calling me up on my slips ups”

“Excellent. I knew the pair of you would hit it off. Now, I was just taking a look at the only hair recovered off your clothing. Judging by colour I would assume this belongs to Lotor”

That sounded riveting. Absolutely riveting. Not. Better Coran than him. Letting him continue sipping his coffee, Shiro asked

“Did you find anything?”

“Nothing of consequence, yet, there were a few traces of magical residue. Perhaps due to his fae nature, or contact with polluted magic. Without further samples we currently have nothing to reference it against”

Keith closed his eyes, almost able to imagine Lotor laughing at the group of them

“Any news from the club?”

“The owner is anxious for a private audience with Lotor. Lotor has also called to say he was very impressed with the pair of you and quite eager to help in the future”

Keith grimaced. He was never dressing as a pet for Lotor again. Shiro would probably try be diplomatic, but Keith wasn’t feeling human enough to take trying

“He ruined everything. The only vampires that approached were interested in being able to say they met him. He stood out too much, making it hard to investigate. We also weren’t allowed to move freely, limiting our information gathering to talk at the table”

“Yes. Unfortunately last night didn’t give us any new leads on the murders. However, Shiro was able to keep conversation with him. That first step was taken”

First step to what? Keith hoped it’d be pushed Lotor down the stairs and watching him topple like a slinky

“No offence Coran, but Lotor isn’t someone we can use for undercover work. Last night would have gone smoother with Shiro posing as a vampire”

Shiro wouldn’t have ordered bloody champagne. Literally blood champagne. Champagne with blood in it. It was revolting. Keith felt like throwing up as he watched him drink it

“Perhaps not right now. However, if he believes we trust him, perhaps we’ll be able to use that in the future. It’s all about the future, number two”

Great. Coran had gone off the deep end again. Fuck trust. And fuck the future

“We can’t use Lotor. Despite that soap stuff, he was still able to smell Lance on me. He asked if I was part vampire. If he smells Lance is breeder then Lance could be in serious trouble”

Coran started twirling the left end of his moustache with his fingers. Human could hide their scents easier than a vampire could... or Lance could. Lance’s scent had a mind of it’s own

“I see. That would be a very bad thing. I do not believe Lotor would harm Lance. He would drive a wedge between him and Allura forever. However, Lance is in a delicate state. Perhaps it’d be best to ask him not to visit here for a bit”

Keith blinked

“You can’t do that. Not with Miriam being sick and his siblings in town”

“I assure you Lance understands it’s for his own safety. There’s been a time or two in the past where I’ve had to ask the same of him before”

“Yeah, but now he’s going through a lot. You know he’s going through a lot”

“I understand, but this is for his own safety. Though I really do not see Lotor going after Lance. Honerva could easily arrange for a European breeder to be sourced, and yet no such rumours have come to light. Maybe I am being overly cautious but I do love him like a son”

Great. Lance wasn’t going to be happy Keith got him banned from seeing Coran. Lance might have no interest in Lotor, and Lotor... until they knew what his game was...

“Fine. But you’re telling him and you’re telling him why”

“Very well, I’ll call him this evening to let him know. Now, I’ve had hunters scope out your apartment, and all signs are clear. Perhaps you’d like to return home for the night? We’ll be continuing surveillance of the club, yet as you said, Lotor may have driven any leads to take cover”

“Or he could have drawn more in”

Keith looked to his brother, brows drawn in confusion

“If they’ve heard one of Europe’s elite has visited, they may try for an audience with him”

Keith supposed all those vampires who’s egos had been trodden on may act out... They may also act out in other ways seeing something was already happening behind the scenes

“We can’t go back. If Lotor’s there tonight he’ll make us from our scent and voices”

“Not if we go European too”

Keith groaned

“No”

“It’ll be fun”

“That’s what you said last time”

The mischievous look in Shiro’s eyes told him his brother was committed to this terrible plan. He didn’t want to be European, he barely even wanted to human

“Not tonight. We’ll go Thursday or something”

Curtis cleared his throat, before saying

“Don’t forget to leave the weekend open. Pidge and Hunk have decided this weekend is the perfect weekend to go under the pub again. She had wanted to go last weekend, yet with Miriam’s condition she postponed until Lance felt she was doing better”

Keith watched the way Coran tilted his head

“Tunnels you say?”

Seeing he and Curtis both knew about them, Keith didn’t know why Curtis looked to him to explain what he wanted. If ever there was a use for a truth telling curse, now would be the time

“There’s some old tunnels under Garrison. Last time we went there, Lance got ill. Pidge wants to carry out an investigation down there, but we didn’t have enough light. I’m honestly surprised she waited this long”

“Lance got ill? Tell me, did he describe his symptoms? What did it feel like?”

“He got sweaty and sick from it. All kind of clammy and he didn’t like it down there at all”

Thinking back, Keith was kind of glad the stranger had walked into the bathroom when he did. He also regretted his drunken antics which heated his cheeks

“Perhaps we should postpone this investigation. Taking two werewolves and Lance into such a situation could be problematic. Not many people know magic was used in Garrison, though the tunnels have laid empty, that doesn’t mean that magic isn’t still down there”

Fucking magic

“Coran, are you sure? Maybe if you call Lance...”

Coran shook his head, Shiro’s words petering off

“I’ll visit Garrison tomorrow. I can also explain in person to Lance. And you do have a new puppy I’m thrilled to be meeting”

Like that Keith was sure the sudden trip to Garrison was purely puppy motivated

“Aren’t you being overly cautious? Curtis will be with them”

“It may also affect Curtis’s curse. One of the reasons young Katie has been kept safe so long is thanks to Lance’s attachment to her. I would hate for an incident to occur. No. Allura will continue the investigation and analysis. A quick trip to Garrison in the morning, then back to Platt before lunch”

Curtis probably couldn’t keep it a secret long enough for Coran to talk to Lance properly and explain the situation. It was going to be a shitty phone call, nothing like their last one

“I’ll let Lance know”

“Thank you, Keith. Now, I have a few things to finish up here. You boys go home and rest. Curtis, I could use your help”

Curtis glanced at Shiro, Shiro giving a tiny shake of his head. Whatever they’d been planning was now out the window... and selfishly, Keith was relieved.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt.24.prt.1

“What the fuck is going on with you this morning?”

“Nice to see you too”

Resting with his head against the glass wall of the shower, Lance wasn’t having a fun time. He’d thrown up, and was now basking in the revolting after taste and burning of his throat and sinuses. Hunk had had the best of intentions, but the flavours had been too strong and he was too filled with guilt to keep his liquid second breakfast down

“Are you sick? Do I need to call Coran?”

“My senses are a little too hyped. Blood makes it worse, so I’m super ramped up. It’s fine”

“You threw up”

“Food’s gotta come out some way”

“Ew”

Lance nodded, yep, being a vampire was glorious

“It’s fine”

“It’s not fine. Do you throw up every time?”

“Nah... and normally I don’t have an audience to my embarrassing moments”

Lance hoped Keith would take the hint and leave

“You better get your shit together, Hunk and Pidge are coming back later”

“I know, I heard. Hunk’s gonna he even more worried...”

“That’s his problem, not mine. Mine’s a vampire who’s clearly not okay, but insists on being a dick about it”

“I’m sorry?”

“You should be. What’s going on with you, is it just your senses? Because you look like total shit right now”

“Wow. Way to make a man feel better about himself”

“God! You’re impossible. Why can’t you just talk to me?”

“I already am”

Lance really didn’t want to talk. He wanted to find Blue and go back to bed. Keith wasn’t having it. Flushing the toilet, the hunter put the lid down and decided he needed to have one of those talks where they were both sitting. Something he sooooo wasn’t in the mood for

“You know what I mean”

“What do you want me to say? I had a really messed up dream and now I feel like fucking shit because my stupid brain doesn’t forget things?”

“Maybe? I don’t know. I don’t fucking know how to comfort people”

“I noticed”

“Fuck you. I’m trying”

Lance muttered under his breath

“Very”

“What was that?”

Sighing to himself, he raised his head to look at Keith

“Nothing. Look, I appreciate you covering for me. I don’t know why you did, but thanks”

“You could have just said that from the start”

“And you could have left me to vomit in peace...”

“You’re not okay. If you’re not okay, I don’t know what to do. Coran said you were changing, I don’t know what’s normal anymore. I’m stuck here and I don’t know why. And I don’t know why you keep doing stupid things. Why didn’t you feed before Hunk and Pidge got here?”

“Didn’t have time. Barely got out the shower and Hunk was calling to say they were coming over”

“So you weren’t trying to starve yourself?”

How stupid did Keith think he was? He knew he had to keep his hunger under control. He’d fed too much too fast. He should have stuck to his normal third of a bag. Too much blood had amplified the feeling of being alive. Stroked his ego and now he was dealing with his own stupidity. He hated the hunger. He hated not being able to keep down Hunk’s smoothie. Lance swore there were still pieces of kale and spinach stuck in his teeth

“No... Did Hunk make you a smoothie?”

“Nope. He tried to...”

“You’re lucky... are you going to be highly offended if I go back to bed?”

“Depends, are you going to get all douchey if you don’t?”

“Probably?”

“Then go back to bed. This time, try to wake up without looking like something Blue threw up”

Lance managed a weak chuckle. Blue had thrown up some spectacularly gross stuff in her lifetime. Keith probably meant hairballs, but he hadn’t experienced thrown up body parts before, or entrails in his sheets

“Blue is princess. Blue is perfection. She’s a tiny little murder cupcake of perfection”

“Does everything always have to come back to a comparison with bread items?”

“What do you mean?”

“You called Pidge an anger muffin before...”

“And you’re an anger loaf. You’re too fucking tall and grizzled to be a muffin”

“I’m not an “anger loaf”... what even is an “anger loaf”?”

Lance groaned

“I just told you, you’re too big to a be a muffin. Are you really gonna sit there and mock the guy on the floor?”

“If it gets the guy on the floor to talk to me”

“I thought we agreed I need a nap”

Keith sighed at him. Lance flinched when the hunter moved his hand, Keith’s brow raising in confusion

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“You flinched”

“I thought you were going to punch me”

Keith rolled his eyes at him

“Paranoid much?”

“Always. Besides, it’s not paranoia when people are out to get you?”

“And who’s going to get your undead arse when we’re stuck out in the middle of bumfuck nowhere?”

“You?”

“Dream on. Can you get up off the floor now?”

But the floor was good. Moving seemed like effort... even if he did get to spend a few hours hiding from Keith

“I suppose”

“Good. You know, you’re worse than a kid”

“Yep. I grew upwards on the outside and not on the inside”

“I can tell. Either that or you were dropped on your head a lot as a child”

Jesus. Keith was snarky... but it was refreshing. Having him worried about him was too weird, but having him insult him felt strangely normal. Good, even. Like Keith didn’t actually worry about him, and that was how it was meant to be

“Probably. Probably dropped myself on my head too...”

“I can imagine”

Lance faked offence before cracking up into laughter. Poor Keith looked completely lost

“What’s wrong with you, now?”

“Nothing, mullet. Give me a sec to clean up, then I’m off for a nap. What are you going to do?”

“Play with my camera... there’s not a whole lot around here to do”

“That’s why I like it... Keith, you know, I know you’re the biggest dumbarse I’ve ever met, but I’m starting to think you’re actually not to terrible”

Keith shifted, uncomfortable but in kind of a good way. His heart was racing for no reason, but Lance could see a smile on those lips of his. Keith was actually kind of pretty when he smiled... pretty lame, yeah, lame...

“And you’re not too horrific for an undead thing”

*

Lance tried and failed at the napping. Pulling Blue into his hold, he groomed her thick black fur as she purred. She was a total slut for grooming. Bath’s not so much, but grooming turned her into a pile of purring goo. Planting kisses on the top of Blue’s head, she nudged into his lips

“No more grooming for you. I want cuddles”

Lance had given napping a genuine shot, only for his nose to decide it needed to be focused on Keith’s vanillary scent from the body wash in the guest bathroom. Keith hadn’t said anything about the options in there, and the hunter didn’t need to know Lance had wondered if he should buy him something more “manly”. Not being bugged by Keith to train felt weird. Lance loathe to admit he kind of missed it. Keith had a lot of drive, fuelled by the anger he hadn’t worked through. Without anything to channel that anger into Keith was left to potter around in a home that wasn’t his. It kind of felt like Lance was torturing Keith, a reversal of roles from when Keith kept insisting he was a vampire. Lance very nearly missed that as well. Yes, he’d been confident that he hadn’t turned Keith, but having Coran confirm it had taken a weight off Keith’s shoulders. He wasn’t Adam. He was lying when he said he was human... not that Lance had the full picture, and he wasn’t sure that Shiro’s version of things quite lined up with Keith’s. Keith must have been terrified he really was turned, trauma did strange things to the mind. He must have been terrified that Shiro was going to have to watch him change, then have to kill him like Adam had had to be killed. It all would have been especially hard on Adam, assuming he was a hunter, he knew just how vile vampires could be. Yeah, he should probably go check on Keith and make sure he was as okay as he was pretending to be.

A quick hunt through the house proved Keith wasn’t inside. Heading out the back of the property, he found Keith working out on his own. Damn if his dream didn’t come back to haunt him. Keith was focused, sweat running from his hair, yet totally in his element. For Keith, his job really was his life. He’d spent years earning those muscles in combat, rather than exercise machines alone. Thanks to his memory, Lance knew how to throw down, but Keith lived it. He lived to hunt the things they should all fear... Something Lance had once entertained the idea of, but knew his Mami wouldn’t approve at all. Plus, he didn’t want to end up on Coran’s disposal list if he lost control and lost the last of his humanity in the process.

Crossing the back lawn, Lance sat himself down a few metres away from Keith. The hunter so in the zone that he hadn’t noticed. Lance managed a good 10 minutes before Keith finally did, the hunter’s eyes widening a fraction as Lance cocked his head

“I didn’t mean to ruin your concentration”

“I didn’t notice you come out”

“I noticed. I was wondering where you were”

“I thought you were napping. Feeling any better?”

Nope. Because fuck if he hadn’t been distracted by the way Keith’s shirt was riding up

“Yeah, a bit”

Walking over, Keith flopped down next to him

“You don’t have to stop. I can go if I’m making you uncomfortable”

“You’re the one who looks uncomfortable”

That’s because he was. He could smell the sweat on Keith’s skin, a feeling welling up inside him. He wanted to reach out and brush Keith’s fringe back and he didn’t know why

“It’s nothing. You know, I almost miss you trying to kick my arse”

Keith snorted at him as he plucked up a stray blade of grass

“A few more lessons and I would have had you”

“Dream on”

“Is that you way of saying you’ve been holding back?”

“A bit. It’s hard to live as a human when you have way too much strength”

“Is that why you wear glasses? Don’t they get in the way?”

Lance took his glasses off, holding them out towards Keith

“We’ve talked about it before, but yeah. I see too much and I’ve seen too much as it is”

Keith seemed surprised as he took Lance’s glasses, holding them up to peer through them, making a face as he did

“These are horrible”

“It helps make the world smaller so I can focus”

“I’ve never really thought about what vampires must go through”

Keith handed his glasses back, Lance surprising himself by placing them down beside him

“Don’t go feeling sorry for vampires, ever. You do that and you’re dead”

“You don’t need to tell me that”

“I know you know the risks, but it’d really suck if something happened to you, you know”

Punching his arm, Keith looked mortified at the gesture, Lance unable to not snort in laughter

“Shut up”

“I don’t know why I did that”

“Because you secretly like me too much. It’s strange. I’ve never had anyone live with me before, other than Mami. I keep wondering if I’m doing anything wrong. If I’ve made you hate me. Or hurt your feelings... I’ve barely known you two weeks and I keep having to tell myself I’m not your friend. Maybe this was what Coran meant by our quintessence complimenting each other?”

Keith plucked up another blade of grass

“I don’t think I understand what quintessence is. Is it a fae term?”

Fae... Coran must be a fae. Lance hadn’t thought to ask and then it seemed too late too

“I’ve heard it mentioned between Allura and Coran before. It’s like the stuff inside us. That spark of life that connects all life. I think faes can manipulate quintessence”

“Like the way they constantly say “you’re safe” or “you’re in a safe place”?”

“That might be more to do with me...”

He’d been so scared as kid. Waking up in a strange place, scared of everything and anything. Coran had told him since he’d met him, and every time they met, that he was safe there

“Oh... I’m sorry”

“Nah, don’t be. You didn’t turn me”

“But still...”

“I have the feeling we both had kind of crappy childhoods”

Keith nodded, Lance noting the pain in the hunter’s eyes, he didn’t like it

“But look at us now! A vampire sitting in the sun, and a hunter who doesn’t know how to relax”

Keith dropped his head, Lance expecting to be scolded for “doing that” again

“I’m talking too much, aren’t I?”

Keith raised his head

“I don’t know. I’ve never lived with anyone other Shiro and Adam, not for years. You say a lot of things I hate, but now we’re getting on and it’s weird”

Lance gaped, before smiling

“I know right. I don’t know what to do when you ask me if I’m okay. I’m like, waiting for you to yell at me or try to kill me again, and then you don’t and I’m like why not?”

“I keep thinking you’re going to kill me in my sleep, and then you don’t. And you keep doing weird things that make me feel weird. You didn’t have to go out of your way. You didn’t have to buy lactose free milk”

“I didn’t want to make you sick. You might be a total dick, but that’s just being cruel”

“I tried to kill you”

“You poisoned yourself”

“I yelled at you”

“You still do”

Keith shook his head with a sigh

“I don’t get it”

“I don’t get it either. I don’t get why we seem to be getting on better. You should hate me”

“I do. I mean... I still think you did something to me”

Lance’s undead heart gave a strange leap of concern

“Coran said there was nothing wrong, didn’t he? It was a clean bill of health?”

“That’s what he said, but how am I supposed to believe him when I’ve only just met him?”

“You can’t go wrong believing in Coran”

“He helps werewolves and vampires... he’s not even human”

“Exactly, he helps. If Shiro trusted him...”

“Then I should... but...”

“It’s not easy to trust when you’ve been kicked to the curb?”

Keith nodded at him

“Yeah, exactly. And Shiro’s not even here. I don’t have a target and I don’t know what to do”

“I don’t know what to do either”

“At least you have a job”

“Giving people advice for next to nothing...”

“It’s still something”

With Keith around, Lance had been pretty neglectful of work. He really should check his emails and contact his clients...

“I suppose so. It usually keeps me busy... I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m not exactly a people person anymore”

Keith snorted

“I don’t think I’m in any position to judge”

“You’re alright. Pidge and Hunk wouldn’t be so gung-ho about you if you weren’t”

“I don’t get why they want to be my friend. I’ll be gone sooner rather than later”

Yeah. That was right too. Keith would be gone... a stupid prang if loneliness hit him out of the blue

“Yeah. Yeah. I suppose so... off to fight more vampires?”

“Probably. I go wherever I’m sent”

“Don’t you get scared?”

“Not really... if they’re hurting people then someone has to step up”

“Yeah. Keith, can I ask you something?”

“We’re already talking?”

Lance snorted, okay, he’d deserved that one

“Can you look up the status of vampires. Like if they’re alive or dead?”

Keith immediately frowned

“I can. I can ask Shiro, but that kind of thing usually requires permission”

Lance nodded. He’d expected that

“Okay. I was just wondering”

“You want me to find out if Nyma and Rolo are still alive?”

Just their names made Lance feel sick to his stomach. He’d wanted to ask Coran for so long, but was ashamed that he wanted to know. Shiro poking around could bring trouble... He didn’t want Keith and Shiro to be in any danger from those two

“Not if it’s going to get you into trouble... I just...”

“I can ask. Shiro’s been a Blame member longer than I have”

“No. No, it’s okay. It’s stupid really. They probably don’t think about me at all”

“It’s important to you, isn’t it?”

“They’re in the past. They’re not the kind of vampires you want to meet. I don’t want them knowing about you and Shiro”

“There’s databases for this kind of thing. The Blades take agent safety seriously”

“No. No... If I know... I’m stuck knowing, either way”

“That must be hard”

“Remembering? Humans don’t know how lucky they are. That pain you feel, it gets better with time, but... I’m already scared. I’m scared of when Blue will die. I’m scared of seeing her in any other way than alive. I’m scared that Pidge or Hunk will find out and hate me. I know... that I’m not supposed to be scared... but... Sorry. Sorry. I shouldn’t be letting my emotions get the better of me”

“You shouldn’t apologise so easily”

“When you get old, you feel like there’s a whole lot to apologise for. You’ll get it someday”

“No. I don’t think I will. You didn’t ask to be turned. You didn’t ask to be turning again... you should be mad”

“I’ve been a vampire for a long time now. Madness kind of fades away to acceptance”

“It shouldn’t. You were a kid”

“I was a shit of a kid. I always wanted to be liked...”

“Pfft, doesn’t every kid?”

“Probably. I don’t know. I broke my family and even after 36 years, I’m still fucking dumb”

“You’re not dumb... you’re stupid”

Keith seemed to really be searching for another word during the pause on his sentence, only for to him come up with “stupid”. The hunter’s eloquence rivalled his bullheadedness

“Geez, thanks”

“You know what I mean”

“I don’t know if I do... We should head in soon. Pidge and Hunk are going to be here shortly”

“How can you tell?”

“It’s the afternoon. With those two, it’s always best to be prepared for anything”

Keith dropped the piece grass he’d been playing with, his hands coming up to rub at his face

“I don’t know how to deal with them”

“Go take a shower and I’ll make you another coffee”

“I don’t know if coffee’s gonna help”

“Pidge would kill you for speaking such blasphemous words. According to her, coffee fixes everything”

“I’ll remember that for the day she spills coffee in her laptop”

Lance shuddered

“Don’t even joke about that. It happened in college... and fuck, I was honestly considering changing my name and moving to a new country. It’s not a sight you want to see”

“Noted. I mean, I guess I can force myself to have another coffee”

“That’s the spirit. Let’s get you inside, samurai”

“Samurai?”

Lance shrugged

“With all your martial arts and that... I mean, that looked like karate you were doing”

“Lance, samurais have swords”