#one day it will be a turning point and a BIG OL HONKIN PLOT DEVICE

[alwaysraineh]

@catladymarie​ this.....

..... this goes on for a while.

i honestly don’t know how long because i’m 100% sure tumblr ate about half of them. so. CONGRATS YOU GET A BIG PARAGRAPH :D (partially bc i have no self control and i didn’t bother counting sentences) for you i have also chosen original fiction rather than a fic wip BECAUSE honestly i just really want to share this excerpt and i think u will find it interesting even tho i supply absolutely zero context

Veridis’s hands shove roughly against the white of Haroch’s shirt. Haroch catches a wrist, but only for a moment; Veridis slips out of his grasp like water, like snow melting under warm skin.

Haroch remains close, but dares not to touch him again. His golden eyes follow Veridis as he paces frantically between the trees.

“I am- I am not broken!” He bellows, and his voice is already raw and undone.

“I never said you were broken, Ver.”

Veridis fumes a moment longer, then screams in place of a response. His hands are trembling and he hates himself for it, hates himself for losing control like this, but when he tries to bring himself in check, the tremor spreads throughout his body.

“Why don’t you sit for a moment? We can talk about this, we can-”

“I don’t need to be pitied,” Veridis snarls, rounding on Haroch with fire rising in his eyes. “I just-”

When his breath hitches and cuts him off, Veridis determinedly bites back another scream and a half-sob of frustration. He balls his fingers into fists and holds them rigidly at his sides, trying and failing to quell the flood of emotions that are drowning him. He’s panicking, he knows, but he can’t stop.

“You need to breathe,” Haroch offers. He’s taken a seat on a nearby log, resting his elbows on his knees and waiting for Veridis to stop long enough to hear him speak. “I know Hawth meant a lot to you.”

Veridis swallows hard. He bites his tongue to keep himself in check and looks away from Haroch so he doesn’t have to see that infuriating concern on his face.

“I know it’s not easy to continue without him. You feel alone now that he’s gone. You’re scared. He was like a father to you.”

“I have no father,” Veridis growls.

There’s no real heat behind it this time. The anger is fading into something colder, more tangible and terror-inducing. Haroch’s presence should help, but it just makes Veridis’s pulse thrum faster.

“Hawth’s blood is not on your hands, Veridis.”

And Haroch has no idea how right he is, but Veridis will never be able to tell him. One more secret shouldn’t feel like this. Shouldn’t feel like a weight on his chest, smoke in his lungs, choking him, accusing him. For the first time in his life,he wants to be free of all his lies. He doesn’t want the truth, not really, but if he has to keep all this fear locked away forever, it’s going to eat him from the inside out.