#oneweeksober

[furrykitten]

One of the most challenging things I have done for myself: Attempting to my sobriety. I'm not doing it for court. I'm not doing it for family. I'm not doing it for friends. Or even my career. I'm doing it for ONLY myself. All endings are new beginnings 💚 . . . . . #cycles #cyclescomingtoanend #MA #sober #sobriety #gettingcleanformyself #goalsinmind #future #florida #thestruggleisreal #judgmentfreezone #doingitfome #memyselfandi #loveyourself #sharekindness #support #igotthis #yougotthis #mindovermatter #oneweeksober

[soberovereasy]

7 Days.

Seven days sober. I’m honestly not sure it counts, since I spent most of them in the hospital physically unable to get my hands on wine, but somehow I’m still proud.

It’s the longest I’ve been sober in years.

That’s a sobering thought, to be honest. I liked to say that I had things under control and I could “stop any time” but I never did. I probably had the soberest days spending time with my family, who didn’t drink, but even then I’d usually have a glass or two at night.

The last time I can remember being intentionally sober was maybe 2012? I was doing a Jillian Michaels workout plan and she said NO BOOZE, PERIOD. I wanted to get ripped, so I continued to go out with friends but had the bartenders make me sprites that looked like fancy cocktails. When I went to a wedding a month later, all anyone could talk about was how great I looked.

Why didn’t I bottle that feeling and associate it with the effects that no alcohol had on my body? I had worked hard at the gym and followed a diligent diet, so there was no doubt in my mind that I earned that praise. But never once did I attribute part of that to the alcohol. I probably had six glasses of wine at that wedding in celebration of “the new me”.

There may have been bouts of sober between then and now, but not long enough or impactful enough that I remember them. When the last time you can remember having a long, sober break was 6+ years ago, then it’s no surprise when someone says you’re an alcoholic. 

I’m still struggling with that term. Alcoholic. I’ve started reading Reddit threads about people struggling with recovery, relapsing, celebrating milestones, and I just don’t feel CONNECTED to any of it. I downloaded a book to my Kindle called “Sober Stick Figure: A Memoir.” It’s hilarious (as are the accompanying terrible drawings) and I’m enjoying this girl’s story about how she spiraled into alcoholism. I’m assuming at some point she talks about getting out, I’m not that far in yet. And while I recognize some stupid things from my past, like driving when I shouldn’t, barely sloshing through work, going home with questionable men...so many other things don’t resonate with me at all. That desperation feeling to get a drink in me. That emptiness and confusion when I’m not drunk. I feel like I’m a normal, functioning adult when I’m sober. I’m happy. I occasionally have stress or anxiety, but it doesn’t consume me. I’m content to read a book on the couch with a cup of tea. I love going out, but it’s not part of my identity. 

I think that’s why I’m still so startled and uninterested in the AA thing. Perhaps this is naive of me but...I feel like I can just...stop. I made it seven days and I feel no different.

Earlier today in a Facebook group of women we were celebrating little victories. I posted that I felt it was almost insignificant, but that I was seven days sober. A few recovering alcoholics chimed in and said it was great! That the first week can be some of the hardest! It made me feel better that I shared, but still disconnected from the entire concept of sobriety as a culture or club. 

Maybe that’s just it for me. Sobriety isn’t a group or a diet or a fad, it’s just a lifestyle change. I don’t really need fanfare and recognition for just doing something that I have to do to maintain my health. I dunno. I’m still very shruggy and meh about it. 

I also fully expect my friends to grow tired of me dropping the “i’m an alcoholic” as a joke, too. Joking is my way of coping. Hopefully they remember this and don’t want to stab me six months into this.

[the-suffering-in-silence]

1 week sober ! I'm doing something heroic to raise funds for Macmillan Cancer Support - I'm transforming into a Soberhero and going 31 days booze-free. I'd love you to support me on my quest and make a donation; there's no amount too small (or big!). Please check out my profile: http://www.gosober.org.uk/users/erin-tree Thanks in advance! Erin #soberhero #macmillan #oneweeksober #pleasedonate #donate #cancerresearch #gosoberforoctober

[littlelionesss]

THE CRAVINGS ARE SO REAL

[the-suffering-in-silence]

1 week sober ! I'm doing something heroic to raise funds for Macmillan Cancer Support - I'm transforming into a Soberhero and going 31 days booze-free. I'd love you to support me on my quest and make a donation; there's no amount too small (or big!). Please check out my profile: http://www.gosober.org.uk/users/erin-tree Thanks in advance! Erin #soberhero #macmillan #oneweeksober #pleasedonate #donate #cancerresearch #gosoberforoctober

[the-suffering-in-silence]

1 week sober ! I'm doing something heroic to raise funds for Macmillan Cancer Support - I'm transforming into a Soberhero and going 31 days booze-free. I'd love you to support me on my quest and make a donation; there's no amount too small (or big!). Please check out my profile: http://www.gosober.org.uk/users/erin-tree Thanks in advance! Erin #soberhero #macmillan #oneweeksober #pleasedonate #donate #cancerresearch