#only now i'm thinking of stallone and I AM THE LAW

[turtle-paced]

GoT Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Sorry for the delay, everyone (and thank you nice people who sent me get-wells)! Here’s the recap you were promised. It is, as you might say...

5.07 - The Gift

Remember when we all thought the title of this episode referred to the stretch of land just south of the Wall, administered by the Night’s Watch? Good times!

(2:21) It’s been a while since I mentioned how absurd it is that none of these people are wearing hats, but now I have a new issue. Poor Olly doesn’t even have a decent coat for this snowy weather!

(2:46) It’s amazing what a good director can do to enhance clumsily written material; for all the plotholes surrounding Thorne’s issues after Hardhome and the hamhandedness of Olly’s eventual betrayal, the suspicion and dislike come across very nicely without a word.

(3:37) The very fact that show!Sam can say “It’s what I used to kill the White Walker” is a huge change in character. Book!Sam attributes the White Walker’s death to the dragonglass and downplays his own role.

(3:50) Aww, bro hugs. Hooray for Jon showing emotion and affection!

(5:25) Theon’s fumbling with some keys here, so we already understand the occupant of this room does not have the freedom to walk around the castle.

(6:00) We can see that this subplot is all about Sansa’s agency because she is proactively begging a man for assistance. Just kidding! This sequence tracks Theon’s movement, not Sansa’s, dramatically starts with Theon’s realisation of and reaction to the exent of Sansa’s abuse, not Sansa’s, and focuses on Theon’s ability to accomplish things for Sansa rather than Sansa’s ability to accomplish things for Sansa. It’s actually really like how Catelyn and Robb were scripted in earlier seasons, where the narrative centre of scenes with the two of them was Robb’s reaction to whatever event, and Catelyn’s emotions were background and context for his decisions.

(6:05) Then there’s the sexualisation of violence here. Sansa’s still wearing an attractive white dress (the white means we’re supposed to feel sorry that she’s been raped; she’s a good girl), her hair is prettily tousled, and there are very visible bruises on her bare arms. For a good chunk of time the shot of Sansa shows some exposed chest, though nothing so crass as showing breasts. Sansa is still there to be looked at, and for Theon and the viewer to feel bad for her, and want her to be rescued. Costuming, hair and makeup in this scene are trying to invoke a chivalric response (protect the delicate injured lady!), with its classic chauvinistic implications. It was gauged carefully so that Sansa is unclothed enough to be vulnerable and desirable, but not so unclothed as to be obscene, nor so covered up that we can’t visibly and immediately understand that Sansa is hurt and the hurting is sexual.

Basically, the writers want to put viewers in Theon’s shoes as the would-be protector of Sansa, rather than focus viewer empathy on Sansa herself. (Contrast, for instance, book scenes where Sansa carefully decides on clothing and makeup to present a certain image to Joffrey, in the hope of avoiding or mitigating his violence. Those scenes are designed to help readers understand what Sansa feels.)

(6:12) We’re also picking up a while after several days, and Sansa’s dialogue makes it clear that this rape situation is ongoing.

(6:20) Theon also tells Sansa that “it can always be worse.” From him, that’s a reminder that Theon has been through a whole lot of bad stuff, but seriously, writers? One of the first things you have anyone say to Sansa is that “it could be worse”? You don’t even let her get out her feelings about being repeatedly raped without having another character telling her IT COULD BE WORSE?

And then we get a shot of a beaten and cowed Theon just so we understand that THEON HAS BEEN THROUGH WORSE. This should not and never should be a competition of which character was hurt worse by Ramsay. JFC.

(7:02) Now we get back to the writers being cruel, as Sansa takes Theon by the shoulders and tells him “Your name is Theon Greyjoy, last surviving son of Balon Greyjoy.” It shows good perception on Sansa’s part, picking up on how Ramsay has been systematically breaking down Theon’s identity, compassion in trying to reconstitute some healthier identity in Theon, and courage in defying Ramsay. It’s also a display of agency on Sansa’s part, actively working out a way to convince Theon to help her, rather than just begging. So of course it doesn’t work.

(7:47) To really rub it in, the musical motif associated with the Iron Islands is playing.

(8:17) And after shots of Theon climbing a tower, deliberately getting hopes up that Theon was trying to help Sansa, we see that oh, he was going to Ramsay the whole time. It’s an intentional anti-climax, and succeeds in evoking both hope and frustration, but the thing is, it probably shouldn’t have been written in here in the first place.

Consider. They just played a big plot card with a few episodes of setup (the “North Remembers” lady and Brienne’s candle), brought out Theon’s identity issues, and finished it with “lol no Ramsay found out immediately and stopped it.” (All the more odious because this is what happens with Stannis and Osha & Rickon, too.) These plot points should have been saved for the end of the season, because as they were used now, these Chekov’s Guns were firing blanks, meant to startle but not hit a target.

(8:27) Meanwhile, Brienne is proactively staring at a tower.

(9:10) In the same vein as Jon showing affection, Sam here shows care and concern for someone who isn’t Gilly. What is this, what even is this.

(9:36) Heartbreaking book line, well delivered, the scene in and of itself is good - but it doesn’t connect to the stuff before it. Aemon’s wits only really started wandering this episode. The last time we saw him he was lucid enough to give Jon advice. This episode he can’t tell his past from his present. But Aemon needs to be dead for the plot to progress, and the material in the book was good, so into the show it goes regardless!

(11:55) Man, isn’t Ramsay just so much fun to have on screen, saying misogynistic things when he isn’t actually perpetrating physical violence against women? I know I sure hadn’t had enough of him saying cruel things about fat women, and surely the circumstances of the plotline will not afford him no future opportunities to make fun of women he deems unattractive.

(12:12) Here we are in 5.07 and Sansa is just now displaying the sort of initiative she did in Sansa II, ACoK, by attempting to secure the tools of her own escape on her own terms. This just screams that the writers didn’t understand what’s been slowly but steadily going on with this character since day one.

(12:19) Speaking of being cruel to the audience. Stannis’ troops are loyal and battle-tested. Exactly the sort of army that will let twenty good men somehow take out all their supplies unnoticed, ditch Stannis en masse, and then turn and flee in the face of the enemy. Tell one thing to build up expectations, show another because it’s not convenient for the story the writers actually want to tell.

(13:03) This is a really weird way of trying to depict that Sansa’s a) smart and b) undaunted by Ramsay’s abuse. We’ve understood Ramsay’s issues with his bastardy in other conversations, as well as the threat a trueborn son of Roose’s would pose to Ramsay. As for the other thing…needling Ramsay would take guts. Open defiance takes courage. But they wrote this in for Sansa because they think Sansa’s not doing enough to defy her captors, missing the point of several books of quiet, covert resistance. I say books, because her quiet, covert resistance is not present in the show to any real extent; her active participation in the plan for her to escape King’s Landing was written out, her frequent YAY ROBB inner monologue isn’t conveyed, and her long-term deception  to conceal her escape plans is also totally missing. Even her big moment of open defiance was written out, when she knelt at her wedding without hesitation. Not to mention that if the writers were trying to show us that Sansa is brave and clever, they’re kind of failing - she’s not displaying exceptional insight into how bastardy affects inheritance (everyone knows this), and defiance here serves no purpose either practical or symbolic. It’s a sop to the audience. Oh, no, Sansa’s not a pure victim, she can still sass her captors, we’re totally respectful of her intelligence and abilities!

(13:12) And, look, I hate to mention it again, but these characters are all now in rebellion against Tommen Baratheon by virtue of being an accessory to Joffrey Baratheon’s murder or marrying an accessory to Joffrey Baratheon’s murder, so Tommen’s decrees should mean nothing to any of them, including the one naturalising Ramsay. I would be more impressed with Sansa’s intelligence if she pointed that out.

It’s tough writing characters smarter than you are.

(14:02) Ramsay making Sansa look at the flayed corpse of her would-be accomplice is an inferior retread of Joffrey making Sansa look at Ned’s head back at the end of season one. Again and again, we see that the writers don’t have a clue about Sansa’s character development.

See, in that early scene, Sansa controls her own reaction, the only thing she can control. He can make me look at the heads, but he can’t make me see them. She refuses to give Joffrey what he wants. In this scene, ostensibly after four seasons of character development making Sansa “more empowered,” she’s helpless to do anything but give Ramsay exactly the reaction he wants. That’s not just a failure to develop the character, that’s gone backwards.

(15:21) You know what would help a lot of these extras combat the cold? Hats.

(15:55) The Stormcrows rode off last night. They go totally AWOL. They’re wandering around the frozen north doing nothing. I can’t recall them ever being mentioned again. Five hundred men, just up and rode off.

Also, the Stormcrows can ride off in force, but Stannis still can’t get a supply line open and his army cannot advance. What?

(17:06) I do find Stannis’ arguments about him losing credibility as a king for retreating not once but twice convincing, as well as his arguments that he cannot afford to winter in Castle Black. (Wasn’t book!Stannis also a bit concerned about those ice zombies?) I’m not sure I’m supposed to find those arguments compelling, given that Davos is the character in Team Stannis we’re supposed to trust most, and Davos is saying “wait.” Davos also shoots a suspicious glance at a suspiciously quiet Melisandre after Stannis concludes his argument, so I think we’re all supposed to think this is Melisandre’s fault.

(17:55) Here in this key conversation about pressing on to Winterfell or turning back, the writers are making sure we know Stannis finds Melisandre very attractive and this is affecting his judgment.

(18:28) No hesitation. As soon as Melisandre says she wants to burn Shireen, Stannis asks if she’s lost her mind.

(18:54) And within thirty seconds he’s ordered Melisandre away. It’s not a plot twist when someone does the opposite of what they said they’d do and what they believe while not clueing the audience into why they might change their mind; it’s bad writing.

(19:41) Oh, hey, another totally unnecessary scene of sexual violence in which a man must step in and rescue the helpless female from her attackers. What was wrong with shared grief over Aemon’s death bringing Sam and Gilly together?

Oh yeah - that would involve Sam grieving, and not protecting a helpless female from her attackers.

(20:44) Woman called bitch: 1.

(21:19) Note how Sam’s efforts to stand up and fight get more narrative weight than Gilly’s continuing efforts to defend herself. Good on Sam for trying! The value of this sort of effort, irrespective of success, is a major point of ASoIaF. It could not be clearer that this is yet another example, not even the first in this episode, of a woman suffering (sexual) violence to offer a man an opportunity to be a hero.

(21:25) Sam Tarly’s killed a White Walker and a Thenn, guys. Three cheers for Sam buying into toxic masculinity.

(22:44) “What kind of man would I be if I ran away when I saw someone hurting you?” That’s why it’s toxic masculinity. Sam’s not asking what kind of person he’d be if he ran away. Real men don’t run. Women can just do whatever, they don’t get to save anyone.

(22:58) “I’ll take care of you, too.” This has to be deliberate. It has to be. There are so many references to Sam being a “real man” in his relationship with Gilly, that “real masculinity” taking the form of physically defending her and “taking care” of her.

(24:23) What? She actually asked Sam if she was hurting him? People communicated rather than one party mashing their faces all over their partner mid-sentence to control their attempts to speak?

(24:48) Consensual sex: 1. Finally. And by that I don’t mean “finally Sam and Gilly got it on!” but rather “finally, a sex scene that involved consent.”

(25:16) Abs & pecs: 2. Both meant to show slavery.

(25:26) Abs & pecs: 4. One more enslaved man with an open shirt, and the slave trader Malko as well. (Apparently that’s his name? Look, who even bothers introducing their characters anymore.)

(26:33) Here we see that the depiction of entire, brutal socioeconomic systems will bow so the writers can write incidents of Tyrion using his wits to get out of situations. Tyrion just hit one of his guards. That’s serious business. Book!Tyrion considers his physically fighting the slaver guards foolish, is whipped for talking out of turn, and waits for the best opportunity to murder a cruel overseer. To say this scene is shallow doesn’t do its lack of substance justice.

(28:07) Dany here smiling and laughing with a lover she chose, and at the end of season six we’ll hear flat out that she doesn’t feel even a little bad about dumping him for political reasons. We’ll have to keep an eye on the character development between now and then. My current theory is that Dany’s relationship with Daario is not here to serve Dany’s characterisation (as opposed to the books, where just picking a man she desired and having a sexual relationship was a big deal for her, plus the part where Daario basically represented her id), but rather Jorah’s unrequited love subplot. Daario’s certainly dismissed from the plot very abruptly once the story’s done with him.

(28:44) “Even slaves have a choice. Death or slavery.” Hey, fuck off with those toxic ideas. We call that choice coercion.

(29:19) Abs & pecs: 5.

(29:55) “I am a queen, not a butcher.” This could have been good setup for Dany’s reversal in perspective between now and burning down Vaes Dothrak. But you have to work to get between point A and point B, and the show has nothing like the final chapter of ADWD to help it along.

(30:31) Damn but I do love watching Pryce’s High Sparrow power play. Even if this part of the conversation was here mostly so Diana Rigg and Jonathan Pryce could have some dialogue together.

(31:03) Note how the High Sparrow has provoked Olenna into ever more vocal outrage, including tacitly accusing Cersei of having Loras arrested in a place where she could easily be overheard, without giving her any information more useful than the fact he has bum knees.

(32:11) Here’s another big honking sign that the Sparrows are right-wing culture warriors in a paper-thin disguise: the High Sparrow (who started as a well-off tradesman) has his own not-Bible. In this society without printing presses, the High Sparrow has a personal copy of a religious text, one that he is free to give away at will. As opposed to one the Sept has for his personal use. Furthermore, in this society without printing presses, how is it that religious argumentation is not a primarily oral tradition, based around sermons, but rather built around an appeal to the text?

Spoilers: it’s because the Sparrows are right-wing culture warriors in a paper-thin disguise and the showrunners did not give even the slightest thought to their depiction of religion.

(32:31) Renly and/or Loras is gay: 1. Yes! That’s right! Olenna has once again resorted to “comical” homophobic slurs! Is the show going to wrestle with this form of homophobia? Of course it isn’t.

(32:51) Ah, how the mighty have fallen. Now it’s Olenna who’s on the wrong side of the “only one smart person onscreen at a time” rule. If Olenna cuts off food to the capital, the High Sparrow is going to turn to his existing base, the people already inclined to believe him and who are already supporting him, and say, “it’s Olenna Tyrell’s fault you have nothing to eat. She is trying to buy and threaten her granddaughter and grandson out of facing the consequences for their crimes against the gods.” This is not the Tyrells vs Tyrion, where Tyrion had no popular support in King’s Landing and didn’t try to get any, either. This is the Tyrells vs a man whose power base is located in the city and arose from that urban population. He might not be able to get the smallfolk of the Reach to turn against the Tyrells, but he sure would be able to make King’s Landing an unfriendly place for them.

(33:14) “We are the many.” Enough to pack the Sept of Baelor and get blown up en masse without consequences, at least. Oh, and for all this vague rhetoric about class, the High Sparrow is not talking about aid and succour to the masses, he’s talking crime and punishment to the elites. Kinda different there. Different movement, different agenda. Weird stapling together of Marxism and some schools of conservative Protestantism.

(33:52) Tommen is so dependent on his abuser that he’s not eating now she’s imprisoned. What a healthy relationship!

(34:37) Actual good advice from Cersei here: “Don’t blame yourself for things out of your control, those things happen to everyone no matter who they are.”

(35:19) Tommen says he loves Margaery. I tend to think it’s more that she had sex with him when he was not mature enough for a sexual relationship and she subsequently manipulated him into emotional dependence on her, and now we see the toxic effects of that played out on screen. Consider me largely unmoved, at least in the way I was supposed to be moved.

(36:14) Likewise, when Cersei says she’ll do anything to keep Tommen from harm, while lying to him about her efforts to keep him away from a woman who has raped and manipulated him, I’m not exactly outraged. Sure, I’d prefer it if she was honest and tried to have a discussion with him about how Margaery carried out that manipulation, but her motivation (keep Tommen from being harmed by Margaery), her statements (“I will do anything”), and her actions (setting up a perjury trap for Margaery) all track. It’s hard for me to buy a story about Cersei as an overreaching, smothering paranoiac when all I can see is the show’s staunch refusal to admit that Cersei’s defending her son from a very real harm.

(36:27) “I would burn cities to the ground.” This is supposed to be setup for Cersei’s eventual blowing up of the Sept of Baelor. Saying is not doing. Thus far, Cersei’s only done her outright villainous acts when it’s concerned the interests of her children. When Ned was going to tell Robert about the incest back in season one, Cersei killed Robert (the show edited out her earlier assassination attempts, strengthening the argument that Cersei only goes for violence and corruption to defend her children from immediate threats) and arranged the coup; when she thought Tyrion was a threat to Tommen, she had Ros beaten to get leverage over Tyrion; when she thought Tyrion murdered Joffrey she rigged that trial to ensure he was found guilty; and now when Margaery is raping Tommen, she’s once again manipulated the legal system to have Margaery arrested (and Loras, very much unjustly). She hasn’t done anything close to burning cities to the ground. She’s not even killing people willy-nilly, where book!Cersei orders murders out of spite and on impulse as well as for politics. Show!Cersei has thus far been better at controlled, targeted violence than book!Cersei.

And before we get into comparisons with what I just said about Dany, saying “I am not a butcher” is a refusal of action in a way that saying “I would burn cities to the ground,” is not a positive action.

(37:28) Oh, Myrcella. “Why is [the plot to kidnap her] happening at all?” It’s a good question and one nobody’s yet heard a decent answer to.

(37:50) This matter has ceased to be complicated. Myrcella was almost abducted from Prince Doran’s own home by Prince Doran’s own relatives. Jaime’s got a pretty good excuse for withdrawing Myrcella from Sunspear now.

(37:59) Here we get to what is supposed to be the heart of Jaime’s plot this season: his connection with his biological daughter. This just makes me ask why, again.

I reckon it goes back to the mishandling of Cersei and Jaime’s relationship from the end of season three onwards, which in turn goes back to the showrunners’ preference for abrupt twists rather than gradual development. The book relationship between the two started breaking down the moment they were reunited, a process that in and of itself provides tension in their stories throughout the end of ASoS and through all of AFFC and their parts in ADWD. In the show, since the relationship isn’t going to break down until season seven, Jaime just kind of has to fill time. Sure, why not have a story about a deadbeat dad connecting with his daughter for the first time?

What’s that you say? The parents in this story are also siblings, in a political situation where if this is discovered it means they and their children will be killed? Uh…look, it’s heartwarming!

(39:28) Boobs: 1.

(40:23) Just making sure everyone’s seen the boobs. Let’s put them on screen again and again. We wouldn’t understand Tyene was beautiful and naked if we didn’t keep showing her boobs. At least they keep stopping before it gets to full frontal.

(40:37) So, in hindsight, we can say that this little incident here was meant to set up what eventually happens to Myrcella. And there was no other way the writers could possibly have done this but have Tyene strip and then torture Bronn. Nudity and violence. It’s empowering!

(42:19) Littlefinger looks into the ruins of his brothel, and I think he’s mourning it. Um, yeah, I’m sure we all feel real bad about this victim of the Sparrows.

(42:46) When Littlefinger talks about the sheer range of appetites he caters to, remember that even in the show, he’s admitted that he trafficks children (in a conversation with Varys) and offers sex workers to clients who he knows will kill them (2.02, 3.06). Like I said, we all feel real bad for the destruction of this institution.

(43:53) Cersei summoned Littlefinger to King’s Landing to ask if he was doing his job. That’s it. That’s all.

(44:13) Okay, so Littlefinger’s just offered Olenna knowledge of Cersei’s affair with Lancel. That’s what this whole scene was about. This is not the smartest storytelling the show has ever done. Way simpler just to write Lancel cracking with the guilt and confessing. No need to throw in the Tyrells attempting to blackmail Littlefinger, or Littlefinger setting up a meeting with Olenna primarily so she could threaten him. The scene’s just another excuse to get Diana Rigg in a scene.

(45:13) Another semi-random appearance of “Valar morghulis”/“Valar dohaeris.”

(45:35) This custom of the ruler of Meereen doing a tour of the lower pits in the days before the big fight is transparently narrative convenience. Yezzan said just then that the big reward for doing well in these practices is fighting before the queen on the big day. The writers wanted Dany and Tyrion to meet so badly. They did whatever it took to get them to meet on schedule.

(46:45) Deaths: 1.

(47:28) “I’ve sacrificed more than enough for your traditions.” Dany has made precisely two concessions all season - marrying Hizdahr and reopening the pits. She’s done difficult things, yes, such as insisting on the rule of law, but that’s the opposite of a concession. That was a change she wanted to make in Meereen’s governance. But we’re not meant to be questioning the veracity of this statement. That’s the substance of her ADWD plot and we’re still technically watching an adaptation. It’s just that it’s a bad adaptation, so we see almost no compromise from Dany and then she declares that she’s made a lot of compromises.

(47:37) More narrative convenience: armed and combat-capable Jorah was not chained up, but Tyrion was.

(47:48) Deaths: 2.

(48:05) In fact, Tyrion is the only slave chained up.

(48:52) Yet another narrative convenience: this gentleman here, who kindly strikes the chains off Tyrion.

(49:16) Dany here insists that her decrees be respected, like the one exiling Jorah. Seems like a reasonable thing for a queen to do. I got no sympathy for Jorah. He screwed Dany over, Dany told him to get the hell away from her, he’s ignoring that.

Unfortunately, this will all be undermined by the next episode and a great deal of season six.

(49:35) It’s nice that Tyrion’s got his self-confidence back after…actually, what happened to make Tyrion lose confidence in his own abilities? I thought Tyrion was doubting whether there was anything in the world worth living for.

(50:39) Okay, now that’s a nicely petty, spiteful, Cersei thing for Cersei to do, bring Margaery her literal leftovers.

(51:19) “Perhaps that’s why your son was so eager to cast you aside for me.” Even now, Margaery is gloating to Cersei about how she raped and manipulated Cersei’s son.

(51:52) Woman called bitch: 2. Another misread scene, I think. The idea of Cersei’s confrontation with Margaery in the cells, in AFFC at least, was Margaery cracking and not only making sure the reader knew she knew what had been going on, but also providing an accurate summary of the reasons Cersei was going to hate any woman Tommen married. Book!Margaery wins that confrontation, not because she calls Cersei a bitch, but because she calls Cersei on all the bullshit.

(54:22) The High Sparrow has super anachronistic views on architecture, with all this “simple is better” and “nice cathedrals are vanity.” It’s like someone’s projecting Puritan sensibilities onto him because they don’t know anything about religion in general…

(55:45) Basically, the High Sparrow is saying Lancel confessed of his own volition. There was no need for a scene with Olenna and Littlefinger; it just muddied the waters of an already confused plot.

(56:45) I like that Cersei and Margaery, as they’re being arrested, both shout “I am the queen!” That’s a better callback, especially with the context given to saying “I am the king!”

Game of Numbers S05E07

Deaths: 2.

Boobs: 1.

Abs & pecs: 5.

Consensual sex: 1.

Woman called “bitch”: 2.

Man called “bitch”: 0.

Renly and/or Loras is gay: 1.

[movienotesbyzawmer]

April 12: Rocky III

(previous notes: Rocky II)

Because now that Rocky has done the unthinkable and become The Champ, we want to see him tackle the next challenge… win AGAIN.

I remember seeing this in the theater with my buddy. I don't know if I liked it. I'm pretty sure I found Mr. T to be as charismatic and as terrifying as they wanted. I'm pretty sure when I bought the ticket I hesitated and asked the cashier, "hey, wait, we get to see him do some variation on the triumphant steps jogging moment, right? Otherwise never mind I'll go see Poltergeist again". If I'm paying good money for boxing sequels, I want to be assured that the formula has not been altered.

Okay let's go.

Once again, this is Un Film De Sylvester Stallone.

Slight variation on the fanfare with the title, now there's a close-up of the Important Belt Buckle Of Punchsport.

Then we see the climax of the previous movie, maybe edited slightly for time. But not very noticeably different.

That segues immediately to a montage of Rocky doing many successful beatup games, scored by the enormous pop hit "Eye of the Tiger". I suspect this isn't the last we'll hear of this number.

The montage morphs into a different story, one starring Mr. T! He's watching Rocky win stuff and he is not pleased. He can also fist-game, it seems. But the montage makes it clear that it is our hero Rocky who is the star of commercial endorsements and marriage love.

I mock but this visionary filmmaker has indeed opened this movie with energetically cinematic choices.

0:8:40 - Arcade games! Paulie goes to an arcade and it is like the arcades I went to when this movie was out and I see games that I played! But Paulie doesn't like the Rocky pinball machine. It seems he is a sore brother-in-law.

Rocky is now very dashing. Paulie is drunk and whiny about how Rocky is such a big shot now, but he has a point about how prettied up he has become.

Later that night Rocky and Adrian are in their bed and it has a rich person headboard. The director, also visibly present in front of the camera, clearly instructed the production designer to create a bed that would reflect the elite level of financial flexibility that the protagonist has reached.

So apparently Rocky has gotten himself into the strange situation where he has to do a charity boxing match against a wrestler played by the increasingly famous Hulk Hogan. I had forgotten that Hulk Hogan is in this movie. Mr. T is watching this match and he looks intensely the same way he only ever does.

Whoa Hulk Hogan is way taller than Sylvester Stallone. Is that allowed? The rules have changed! And this whole thing is not boxing it is wrestling and it is that silliness instead of boxing. This is a long scene that is the same as a typical Wrestlemania thing, all manufactured drama made to seem like fighting and true menace, but at the end we see that they are just professional coworkers and we have all learned a valuable lesson haven't we.

At a statue-unveiling, Rocky announces that he is maybe retiring. MAYBE. But then Mr. T shows up talking smack, and ladies and gentlemen we have ourselves an end-of-Act-One.

As Act Two begins, we have a scene that was an A+ homework assignment for the screenwriting teacher of Rocky III's screenwriter, who you will recall is the craftsman Sylvester Stallone. Burgess Meredith is like "I quit! I won't help you with this fight! Mr. T is too hard to beat!" But then they talk it out to advance past that scripted complication. And now Rocky and Mr. T are training for their fight in their separate worlds.

Speaking of worlds, in the World Of Rocky, the famous theme that was introduced in the score of the first movie is actually known to the characters in this movie as Rocky music. They play it for him publicly to celebrate their pride in his violence accomplishments.

Apollo Creed appears to be retired, but he is a commentator at this Rocky/T fight.

0:40:00 - They're about to do the fight, but Mr. T is so The Way He Is that the wants to fight on the way TO the fight. That results in some tumult that makes BM have health problems. It was vague what happened, it seemed like BM was shoved aside by all the mad/scared/fighting people, so then he has a conversation with Rocky in a back room where he's like, don't stop the fight even though I am suddenly vaguely frail. He sort of clutches his chest like maybe there's a heart attack but just one of those everyday ones. I have those every time I click send on a work email. My friends should not be discouraged from championship fisticuffs when that happens.

This is the first Rocky movie to be made after Raging Bull came out, and I detect some influence in the boxing footage, like with close-ups of Mr. T.

Rocky loses that fight pretty quickly, and maybe the problem is that he didn't do a pre-victory steps jog. But the movie is telling us that BM is dying on a table in the back room and that's the real problem.

BM dies and SS has done some pretty ambitious cry-acting. Then the funeral is in one of those indoor above-ground file-cabinet-style cemeteries, which is not the normal cinematic choice so nice job there.

I can already tell that we're going to have another thirty minutes of a bummed-out Rocky to fill out Act Two before it starts to look like the setup for a fulfilling climax can begin. It's what I would have told him to write if he were my student at the third-rate community college where I'm a part-time screenwriting teacher in this scenario.

Apollo Creed has shown up to try to pep-talk Rocky, and he keeps saying "eye of the tiger" because of marketing departments. But also, he is a more mature person than in the first two movies. Even though it's a character shift, I do kind of buy it. It seems like another side of the character we knew slightly.

0:59:00 - Another scene beginning with dialogue that sounds like it was improvised by people who don't know what real life is like. "Come on you're going to be late to the airport!" "Maybe you should have packed another sweater" "no in California it's not too cold". AHA THEY ARE GOING ON A TRIP TO CALIFORNIA I AM ON TO YOU ROCKY III

When they go to Los Angeles and show us people on the street and the people have been told to look and act super different so that the audience will be like, wow California is different, then, well, we are at this part of Rocky III did you know.

Although there was my earlier expectation that we were going to have a prolonged funereal story arc, but what's happened is that Apollo is invested in training Rocky so they're showing us that side of Apollo, and that's interesting. But also it's the template of "Rocky is training and he doesn't look like he's going to get there, but then inspiration will hit and he will look like he is going to get there". S. Stallone, noted filmmaker, is using montages and flashbacks to show how recent bad news moments for Rocky are haunting him. It is working.

Adrian performs a pep talk monologue for Rocky. I don't understand her point. It's like a box of those refrigerator poetry magnets jumbled up together and spoken as movie script lines. I guess the gist is "don't give up" and he starts to think maybe he shouldn't give up. Then it's a new training montage, and it's got the classic "running far now" Rocky theme so we know it's going well. The twist on the classic cheering-atop-stairs cadence is it's Rocky and Apollo on the beach, and Rocky is a little faster than Apollo and that is great news for them both.

Now we're right before the final fight, and we heard Mr. T tell a reporter that he "pity the fool". I didn't hear the rest of what he said, I was just so happy to hear him say "pity the fool".

Oh but shortly after that he is asked what his prediction is, and he looks at the camera, OUR camera, at US, and says "PAIN". Submitted without comment.

That face-to-face moment right before the fight starts, Mr. T says "imma bust you UP" and Rocky says "go for it". Advanced Scripted Dialogue with Professor Stallone.

The final fight happens, and it's mostly the same as how the other ones went except without a montage summarizing a whole bunch of rounds. I think this whole fight ended in three rounds. But it ends with the exact same music that I'm getting sick of….

BUT! There is a follow-up scene this time! It's some other day later on and Apollo and Rocky are just palling around at the gym. And THEN the movie ends. I feel that the producers must have implored Stallone, artisan that he is, to just end the movie on that climactic moment right after the fight ends, just like the other movies, but he said NO. That is not ENOUGH for a SYLVESTER STALLONE FILM. We will have an additional scene with INCONSEQUENTIAL BANTER. It will last OVER ONE MINUTE. And here we are. Rocky III: it's like Raging Bull, but better!!

I think Talia Shire is the only female actor with any lines in this movie.

One thing that's very much worth saying about this movie is that there is WAY more actual boxing in this movie. The other ones had almost no scenes where there were live boxing matches, but this one had lots. Plus that wrestling one! And as I observed, the directing style with this one also had a newfound sense of visual pop. But the story seems like it changed not at all from how it was described in the first studio board room meeting where jackass producers blurted out what Rocky III might be like.

(next: Rocky IV)