#only rarely like for my jazz prof in freshman year who was like 'just call me jake lol') | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

supercantaloupe · 2 years

Text

also i swear to gd i Need to get less weird and anxious about the mere concept of talking to maestro. i have known and played with him for seven years and in that time he has been literally nothing but kind and friendly and helpful and supportive. and yet every single time i have to ask him a question (or if he comes to talk to ME or like sends me an email or something) i swear to gd my heart starts racing like i’m about to get banned from every orchestra ever or something

#it's so weird. idk why i'm so weird about talking to him in particular cause i rarely feel the same about other professors.#ig it probably has to do with the greater level of like. formality? involved in orchestra #like i'll call other professors by their first or last name sometimes (though not usually directly to them...#only rarely like for my jazz prof in freshman year who was like 'just call me jake lol')#but i straight up refuse to refer to maestro as anything but maestro. y'know.#so much of classical music is about tradition and formality/politeness is an element of that...#which is usually nice for me and my social ineptitude but also occasionally is not. for example when i need to ask maestro a question lol #especially one that's not relevant to the rehearsal #i would make a 'going to get a bad grade in orchestra which is both normal to fear and possible to achieve' joke here #but i literally can get a bad grade in orchestra and he's the guy who'd assign it.#(y'know...hypothetically. i would die before i willingly did anything to tank my grade like skip rehearsals/concerts #or purposefully play horribly)#ig my nervousness might also have something to do with the fact that. like. i've known him since i was in high school #and so the thought of like. being a grad student and working on a much closer to equal/professional footing with him #as opposed to just like. student musician in the orchestra.#fucking weird! it's a weird idea to me #which i'm sure i'll get over myself enough to actually proceed if/when that becomes a reality #(though not over myself enough to cease all anxiety entirely lol)#i wanna talk about me #sasha speaks

14 notes · View notes