#only tag im adding bc ?!? idk. maybe ppl would like to read. i think character discussion is fun

[voiceofsword]

everyday i wake up and remember that Rinne got flustered when Shinobu genuinely told him that he was genius.... i have many crazyb scenarios floating in my head because of this info

its like. your telling me that all it takes is for rinne's unitmates to say ONE genuine compliment towards him to make him short circuit and lose the act ??? and your telling me niki has NOT taken advantage of this???? COULD YOU IMAGINE THE POWER HE WOULD HAVE IF NIKI JUST KNEW THIS INFORMATION???

i hc that rinne's unitmates (esp niki) will just randomly give him a genuine compliment just to see him flustered and be the one embarrassed for once, like some strange sort of karma or something

OK LOL THIS IS MY SECOND TIME WRITING THIS, I WROTE OUT A WHOLE ASS ESSAY AND TUMBLR DECIDED TO WIPE IT CLEAN....I WROTE LIKE 600 WORDS WITH SCREENCAPS AND EVERYTHING THE FIRST TIME and now its 1.5k words. 

ANYWAYS YES YES YES ANON.... I TOTALLY AGREE i think about this a lot.. asobi club my beloved. i also think the crazyb scenarios have SOOO much potential and i loooove thinking about stuff like this as well because its always nice to take the more outwardly confident charas down a peg. because why not. im a sucker for niki having the upper hand for once ❤️

now i will proceed to provide 500 examples and analyse them because i also think about this facet of rinne’s character a lot (the one that becomes timid when good stuff is said about him, or how he’s actually a Nice Person but covers that up as best as he can) and i would like other ppl to think about it a lot too. this is basically just a hc/small analysis dump post so sorry anon for you have opened the floodgates 

i love every aspect of rinne’s personality but this side of him, the one that grows so easily flustered around others when he’s caught off-guard, is the best imo. he doesn’t really show it around most ppl, only niki, hiiro, and kids (like shinobu!!) because those are the only ppl that bring that out, bc theyre so earnest, so genuine in their intentions, that rinne is forced to confront reality As Is instead of dance around the subject.

a lot of the cast is convinced that rinne is this unapproachable, eccentric, inconsiderate asshole (which is true, at times - he’s carefully developed this persona so if he wants people to see him that way, it’s what they see) but when they actually put away these boundaries a lot of the time ppl see that he’s just. some guy (a silly example of this is chill yellow where hokuto, tsukasa and keito try to enlist his help to help them ease into “villain” roles for their auditions, and when rinne sees their efforts he’s so bewildered by it all he puts his wild image to the side to be like what the hell? you guys are all freaks???)

gonna split this into several little sections but for example, with niki i think niki doesn’t realize he can take advantage of it because a lot of the time these advances from rinne are met with complete disbelief. granted niki doesnt really think to compliment rinne often, it’s usually the other way around. so when rinne is being completely earnest, unabashed in his devotion for niki, niki turns around and goes “what??? what?” like he cant understand that such nice words are being said to or about him. THIS IS A TOPIC FOR ANOTHER TIME THOUGH, we’re talking about rinne here…. sorry i am physically incapable of not making everything even a little bit about rinniki….

of course this grants rinne an easy way out: instead of addressing that he’s being fully serious and owning up to these feelings his kneejerk response is to be like “kyahaha, stuupid niki! i can’t believe you’d fall for that!” but we all know he’s dying inside. it’s obvious. there’s only so many genuine, loving remarks a guy can make towards his guy best friend before the audience starts catching onto the fact that maybe he’s not actually joking, and that his guy friend just has severe self esteem issues, and is also plain stupid (endearing). IF NIKI OPENED HIS EYES HE COULD HAVE RINNE ON HIS KNEES….. WE’RE ROOTING FOR YOU…..

that’s exactly what happens in this scene, and they go on to play bicker because thats. their love language, i guess???? they’re weird. i love them

also we all know how rinne reacts to niki asking to kiss him in hot limit. regardless of how you interpret his reply (whether hes upholding his hometowns customs, being shy, or trying to make sure niki is serious about him..) most ppl can agree that after all of his advances in main story and towards niki In General he was probably freaking out, but handling it very well

niki is simply too reactive to respond to rinne’s genuine comments and be calm about it… i dont think he realizes rinne truly means all of them and his view about himself is too low to just accept the compliments and when niki gets flustered, rinne gets flustered too, but unlike him becoming speechless like he does with other people, rinne combats it with humor, b/c this is the sort of thing he and niki are used to. this, however, is not how he deals with affection coming from other people…..

gonna attach the exact scene i think you were talking about here, but when compliments come from those younger than him, like hiiro and shinobu, his initial reaction is a lot different

i’m going to link the tl for nursery rhymes as the op does not want their tls reposted, but this is the exact chapter that i think you’re referring to, the interaction itself is at the very end in case other people would like to see.

rinne points out that there’s no clever retort to shinobu’s genuine compliment, that there’s no banter he can build off of to “defend” himself - so he’s left feeling shy, and exposed. ofc its not shinobus intention to make him feel bad and idt rinne feels bad, necessarily, it’s just jarring.

rinne has a very cultivated persona that he’s built from the ground up from the end of his solo career to his current career in crazy:b. there are times this mask “slips” and he’s brought back to a similar personality to the one he had as a child in flashbacks or himself as a 17 y/o in hot limit, where he’s more meek, quiet, careful with his words, not purposely inflammatory. usually, he’s really good at keeping up appearances! look at his reputation in ES as a troublemaker with a complete disregard for everyone around him!

but when he’s confronted by people who are more “pure”, who don’t question his intentions from the get-go, he is at a loss. rinne is good around most kids because there’s no sort of “prejudice” against him, for lack of a better term; the people that this sort of thing happens around would be 1) people he loves and trusts entirely, who have known him before this persona even came into fruition (niki, hiiro) 2) people who aren’t immediately defensive around him, who don’t see him as a bad guy and trust him inherently (shinobu, for example!! sora, too! i feel like asobi club is a perfect example of this, both the story and the club itself!)

now hiiro… rinne replies to hiiros compliments in a similar way to how niki replies to His, because there’s a deep trust there between the two even though they’ve been apart for several years, and there’s enough trust for rinne to shut hiiro down completely, and get entirely flustered. i think a lot of why he’s like this with him stems from the fact that up until now hiiro was unable to express his love for his brother, or namely, he wasn’t allowed to, because of how they grew up.

rinne’s used to loving his brother, caring for him, but not the other way around, because in their hometown they were both raised with the idea that hiiro is a “liability”, that his role was to be rinne’s advisor and nothing else. for that reason and many others, rinne left his town, both because he was sick of his lack of liberty as well as being told that loving his brother was wrong, that he had to treat the one person he treasured at the time badly, that he was meant to be a leader and nothing else.

rinne goes on to explain this several times during the main story, but this is my fav instance of it b/c it hits really hard

any type of love from or towards hiiro, in this case familial, is foreign to him. so when rinne goes 5+ years without seeing his brother and his brother eventually learns that being affectionate towards rinne is okay, he’s obviously going to be a bit flustered! he’s not used to it! and hiiro is very loud and proud about it too, which probably makes it even worse for rinne. AND EVERYONE ELSE.. hiiro is not the best at picking up social cues but that is ok. it’s like when you learn something new and want to keep doing it so you dont forget and because its exciting!! hiiro is learning how to love and rinne is happy for him but he’s not equipped to deal with that .

NOT A SCREENCAP FROM IN-GAME BUT I THINK ABOUT THIS VIDEO SO OFTEN… hiiro being excited to perform with his brother and rinne is so speechless at his enthusiasm he’s like y-yeah. I LOVE IT WHEN HE IS RENDERED SPEECHLESS!!!!! 🗣️🗣🗣

the very end of main story (ch5) is dedicated to rinne talking about how he’s been told he’s wrong his whole life over every little thing he does, and i think that provides such valuable insight as to why rinne is the way he is? and why he can’t respond to genuine compliments coherently. even tho he presents himself as self-assured and does whatever the fuck he wants at this point i still think he suffers from berating himself, and it shows whenever he’s being self-sacrificial and justifies bad things happening to him with “well, i deserve this”. even though he’s come a long way, it’s always hard to unlearn harmful behaviors learned from youth

i dont rly know how to end this off because i went on such a tangent answering this hc ask IM SORRY ANON…. if u wanted me to draw smth please send another ask idm at all i just had to ramble because i love rinne-kun very much. i think he deserves the world, and just like hiiro, he is also learning to give and receive love without restraint, just in a different way. in the meantime i will relish in him getting embarrassed every time someone says smth nice to him 🙏

help me

[pink-enby-in-distress]

I posted 1,704 times in 2021

80 posts created (5%)

1624 posts reblogged (95%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 20.3 posts.

I added 45 tags in 2021

#actuallyadhd - 7 posts

#chronic pain - 6 posts

#adhd - 6 posts

#nonbinary - 5 posts

#vent - 4 posts

#trans - 4 posts

#toxic mother - 4 posts

#? - 3 posts

#actuallyneurodivergent - 3 posts

#actually autistic - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#n i feel like those ppl that do live off their land doing whatever they want without having to work for someone else are 98% white

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

so, i think, im pretty sure? im Autistic. I looked at the DSM-5, highlighted my traits. Looked at camoflauging tactics, or ways afab Autistic people often mask, highlighted my ways. Looked at differences in AFAB Autistic people, higlighted my things. Ive had these traite since I was a lot younger (im only 15 so like, since at least 4-5 is when i remember). Ive always been "weird", n it was like everyone else always has the directions, and i was the only one without. N then, some tiktoks about underdiagnosed ASD in women caught my interesttt.

i have a therapist! that i can ask to get professionally diagnoseddd. but i dont,, wanna do thattt. bc i dont want my mom to immensely refuse the fact that i might be. And ik the rest of my family will too. Like she did for 2 years until my previous therapist called her ass out, and i started failing school this year- also, i dont feel comfortable enough to tell my new therapist yet, i think im gonna wait a bit. a few more sessions? maybe til im 17-18.

So for now, im just gonna self diagnose, like i did for ADHD for 2 years, before i finally got officially diagnosed. bc idek if i want that on my records bc ik,, ppl can fuck me over bc ik if i get that diagnosis,, n ik a fuck ton of stuff is gonna changeee. and im not ready for that

(If you have any links n sites for me to do more research, pls feel free to send me some or reply!! im still kinda feelin bad about this so,, more confirmation before i go to my psychologist would help:)

9 notes • Posted 2021-04-24 20:40:54 GMT

#4

i dont like a lot of my adhd (well tbh mostly the rapid mood swings and rsd)

but the intense happiness is nice:) idk if it's the fact that im just,, happy,, or bc i think bc im so happy if i was with another person id be sharing that happiness.

but it's nice to hear one part of a song that makes you see stars or rewinding something over and over again bc it just makes you giggle that much. or because that was the best book youve ever read and now you have to go on a research high. or how that video was s o good you just have to do a little dance and maybe some vocal stims bc how could you not.

sometimes it gets too much,, bc it can feel like it's bursting out. it's s o intense it might be nervewracking. not painful, but yeah uncomfortable. your heart is so full and your chest is about to burst from how happy you are.

but for the most part,, i like it:)

10 notes • Posted 2021-06-21 12:20:23 GMT

#3

I just wanna be able to lock my door pls,,, it just makes me feel safe. can't i even do that? please?

11 notes • Posted 2021-07-14 13:56:41 GMT

#2

i would love to see more Autisic BF x ADHD GF n itd be Flint Lockwood and Sam Sparks pls and thank you

theres so much stuff n stories there- Ah they make me so happyy

29 notes • Posted 2021-04-17 13:27:28 GMT

#1

so my solution for my internalized ableism category: is it laziness (tho im trying not to use that word anymore w myself) or executive dysfunction?

ive decided,, if i can do it rn, i just dont feel like doing it, but i still need to so i will.

if i cannot do it, it is executive dysfunction. if i have tried, and i just cant and feel intense frustration, anxiety, and possibly exhausted, it's executive dysfunction

yes ik this is exactly the definition of executive dysfunction but it's only now clicking w me and im only now getting over it so shhhhhh alsjsjahsgsgdhgs

36 notes • Posted 2021-05-01 02:21:00 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[chickenfetus]

HI!!! i like to request ALL of the flowery asks! btw i LOVE ur blog and maybe u????? idk 🌸🌸 (jk i love u alot)

who is this????????/ under cut bc i get rambly 

azalea: what’s one word that describes you?

lame lmao

baby’s breath: what did you want to be when you were a kid?

honestly? my answer’s like yours jen because i wanted to be an astronaut but also a vet and then a few years later i wanted to be something else of a whole different profession but now i know what reality is like and i have no clue what i wanna be whoops

begonia: are you a messy or clean person?

i hate seeing my desk/workspace be messy but i cant bring myself to clean it up either???? bc im lazy 

bleeding heart: has your heart ever been broken?

hMMMMm mmm idk i dont think so

bluebell: do you drink tea or coffee?

i drink tea more than i drink coffee but i drink water more than i drink tea i drink water like. everyday lmao obviously but i drink a lot of water its my brand now

buttercup: what are five things that make you apologetically happy?

what does this mean why is the word apologetically there i cancelled it lmao no negativity in this house

my favorite people (u know who + my friends)

when people answer my anon asks and . they respond with a long reply/seem really happy responding thats my fav fam

this is getting real anime but when i get an UR/4* from scouting 

finding an anime/manga/book that perfectly suits my taste

im very tempted to just say water bc idk what else 2 say 

calla: what’s your favorite book?

ive only read 3 whole books this year but i recommend all of them 

challenger deep - neal shusterman (i could go on about this book for days honestly its so interesting and even though its told by the same person it has two kind of perspectives because there are two settings, that didnt make sense but this book is my new favorite)

see you in the cosmos - jack cheng (i love this one too because its just so warm? made me a little emo but its really good and i love how unique it is, text type wise)

a monster calls - patrick ness (this was something i heard from my school first so i didnt know if i really wanted to get it but its actually pretty good?) 

carnation: what are your five most played songs?

i cant really check using the music app bc i added the songs at different timings so itll be inaccurate ill just do most played song from each band/group

again - astro (this is their best song dont @ me)

letting go - day6

all in/stuck - monsta x

death by a strawberry - dance gavin dance

check yes juliet - we the kings

chrysanthemum: what are you afraid of?

i may not b a child but im still afraid of the dark bc my imagination is wild im also afraid of bugs and disappointing others nice oh shit im also afraid of asking for things

daffodil: what’s your astrological sign?

capricorn 

dahlia: what’s your favorite band?

this question was made for me its day6

daisy: which ‘friends’ character do you relate to the most?

ive never watched friends 

dandelion: are you an extrovert or an introvert?

in between!!!!!

geranium: how has your day been?

its been good!!! i managed to ask my mum 2 take me to hair place so i can get it cut finally and im working on updating my tumblr pages and doing all my tags

hydrangea: what’s your dream job?

pass

iris: who’s your celebrity crush?

pass

lavender: what’s one of the best gifts you’ve ever received?

oH FUCK FAM my friends got me a kermit toy for my birthday i lvoe it 2 dEATH

lily: what’s something you’ve achieved that you’re really proud of?

i got first in my class once wow amazing that was 2 years ago i wish i was as good as the me from 2 years ago 

marigold: what would you like to do more of, but don’t ?

well i want 2 b more hardworking but guess thats too late

morning glory: are you an early bird or a night owl?

now that school is over and i have no reason to wake up early ive become neither which is saddening because... i like waking up at 7am on weekends and doing things early but now i wake up at like 9-10am and i still sleep at 11pm  

orchid: what’s the last movie you saw?

i really dont remember?? maybe uh guardians of the galaxy?? i dont remember who i watched it with and when but it was good actually i remember who i watched it with nvm 

pansy: do you believe in love at first sight?

i dont really believe in romantic love anymore 

peony: what does your url mean?

chicken fetus means an egg

periwinkle: what are you thankful for?

god get ready folks im gonna go on my biggest boxy rant ever...

so boxy is my friend who ive been mutuals for over a year and our first common interest is love live and haikyuu so we had that to talk about but im bad at keeping conversations with ppl on tumblr so that ended quickly but earlier this year or late last year i made a twitter and told people on here about it and she followed me and i didnt really mind/pay attention to the stuff she posted/rted uNTIL. until that fateful day... june 25th... at like 8pm? she rted a pic of mister brian kang with dumb minion glasses on and ok maybe i do believe in love at first sight? bc wow!!!!! whos this dumbass with minion glasses and the fluffiest hair ??? so i slide into boxy’s dm.. expecting an explanation and she gives me a good one saying how brians from a band (i would later find out), day6 and im not a fan of kpop, never have been.. ive only watched like some kpop mvs bc i love my friends so i expect myself to listen to them and get over them as soon as im done. boxy my friend, bless HER she sends me all of their mvs from congratulations to i smile and i watch the first one - i smile and me? i start smiling and i can feel myself getting excited because holy fuck theyre a band! they play fucking instruments??? and at this point im already whipped then i move onto how can i say and that shit blew my mind let me tell you.. so because of boxy... i get to where i am now, proudly stanning 3 groups and if it were not for her i wouldve never gotten into mx as well... boxy is just?? really important to me her impact is just that great?? so im super!! sUPER thankful for her and i dont think she’ll ever see this but boxy i love u thank u so much!! boxy gave me more than one reason to live, and not just exist?? without her i wouldve never been able to make so many (like 2 but hEY) new friends and this probably got so long idk im just really thankful for boxy thank u lord for blessing us with boxy (@/youngkwhom on twitter) (kittenma on tumblr) i hope shes happy forever and i also hope she has good days for the rest of her life?? boxy deserves it i lvoe u boxy

petunia: where were you ten years ago?

10 years ago i was like 6 probably watching pokemon or some shit and getting glasses

poinsettia: where would you like to be in ten years?

dead thanks

poppy: what’s your online persona?

i dont understad the meaning of persona but an egg?????? 

rose: who’s the last person you spent quality time with?

all my classmates in an exam hall for 2 hours, quality time indeed

snapdragon: what are your goals?

pass

sunflower: what’s your favorite quote?

i think i had one before but i forgot so maybe it wasnt my favourite lol idk i dont have one now

tulip: if you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

for all of my favourite people to be happy forever

a good future

i want astro, mx and day6 to get an award for all of their hardwork thanks

violet: what’s one thing most people don’t know about you?

i was gonna say smth negative but lets not hm m m i? ?? ill put smth irl ppl probably dont know either uh hhh i guess?? that i eat a lot?? but also get full really quickly but then really hungry right after that idk thanks digestion

zinnia: do you believe in magic?

no ????/ idk is there any evidence that magic exists 

JEN !!! thank u so much for asking even tho u probably asked just to get back at me but this was still fun ask memes will never get boring bro,. i love u and i hope u have a good evening also i love ur blog too moon anon probably already told u

to anyone who actually bothered reading through this mess - thank you and i hope you have a good day/night too!!

[jhopeego]

get to know me tag x3

tagged by @minghuo​ tysm!!!! ^^^ <3

ill do all three because go big or go home

✩ part one

1: Are you named after someone? nope!! im named after a flower tho ?

2: When is the last time you cried? a few days ago bc i saw a gif of jimin and tae holding hands i think

3: Do you like your handwriting? not rlly

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? uuuuuuuuuuu idk hHam??? iDK

5: Do you have kids?  no ???

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? no? im nastee

7: Do you use sarcasm? hmmm i say i do but now that i think abt it?? not rlly

8: Do you still have your tonsils? ya?

9: Would you bungee jump? hmm no but if it was for hobi id do it

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? um captain crunch

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yea

12: Do you think you’re a strong person?  not rlly?

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate chip cookie dough !

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? ummm their hair , voice and height? i guess? 

15: Red or pink? pink

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? um i dont like my hands or my face lol :/

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now?  HGFD um im wearing frozen pajama pants with olaf all over them ;;; im not wearing any shoes

18: What was the last thing you ate? rice

19: What are you listening to right now? spotify ads :) ((after that it was 2! 3! in case u were wondering)

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? u know what hobis hair color looks like in the ynwa pics? id be that color

21: Favorite smell? the only one that comes to mind atm is the wings photobooks THEY SMELL RLLY GOOD

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my dad

23: Favorite sport to watch? ice skating i guess

24: Hair color? “strawberry blonde” but to me it looks more like a light brown

25: Eye color? i guess hazel ??

26: Do you wear contacts? Nope i have glasses

27: Favorite food to eat? hmmmm idk :/ dont like food all that much? maybe mashed potatoes bc my mom makes them well :/

28: Scary movies or comedy? it depends on who im with ! i like watching horror movies with other people but if im alone comedy is good !

29: Last movie you watched? other than school movies i was forced to watch? the great gatsby

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? white

31: Summer or winter? WINTER 

32: Hugs or kisses? um idk hugs i guess ive never kissed anyone before so :^)

33: What book are you currently reading? fgdh im reading demian for the third time right now

34: Who do you miss right now? @/kmlyrics :/ also maybe my sister and as always m hobi

35: What is on your mouse pad? dont have one

36: What is the last TV program you watched? flower boy next door

37: What is the best sound? ....... hoseoks voice

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? i dont like either

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? i have left my state like once to the one next to it so um. not very far

40: Do you have a special talent?  um annoying ppl

41: Where were you born? the us

42: People you expect to participate in this survey? jdfhdf idk no one

✩ part two (some of these are repeated so im sorry)

Last film you watched: the great gatsby Last song you listened to: bts dope  Last book you read:um romeo and juliet for school i guess is that a book Last thing you ate: riice If you could be anywhere right now where would you be: idk wheres hobi rn Where would you time travel to: um back to when i read demian for the frst time so i could read it for the first time again or when i first watched a bts mv Fictional character you would hang out with for a day: DEMIAN MY ONE AND ONLY

✩ part three

Instructions: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 mutuals. 

-suddenly by one ok rock

- chewing gum by nct dream

- interstellar by monsta x

- 3xxxv5 by one ok rock 

- dunk shot by nct dream 

-no oh oh by clc

-mad city by nct 127

-sunny afternoon by red velvet

-red dress by red velvet

-good thing by nct 127

(not one bts song . i hate u spotify. i dont even stan any of those groups except nct dream . disappointed.)

ummm im not gna bother Ten Whole ppl ill only tag a few & only do it if u want!!! @valentinebaek @kmlyrics @1kth @parkejimins @namjooniewifey @jkookofficial @ilobyoongi & also .. anyone else who wants to do this !!