#or else i will sob violently thru all my classes and anxiety says thats not allowed
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what the fuck
#this is jist. me upset rambling bc i need to express it somehow#its literally mt first day of college#and my dad just told me my grandfather is dead#he was out walking and got hit by a car#it wasnt really anyone’s fault per say- not criminally at least- he was just in this old wmans blind spot and age has made his fragile#but god i dont know what im going to do without him#whos going to tell his stories? get donuts every morning of vacation? wake up before sunset to take a bike ride?#whos going to take me to dq in his massive car after every special achievement?#he was gone before he could hear us say goodbye#he texted me good luck starting classes and i never got to respond and now i never will#i hate that i wish it were someones fault- that it was negligence; that they had run away; i want something to blame for taking my poppop#i miss him so much#..im glad that at least the last time i saw him i gave him a hug and said i love you#i dont think i told him that enough and i wish i had#ANYWAY IF U GOT ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE#im currently jist. trying to not think about it#or else i will sob violently thru all my classes and anxiety says thats not allowed#so. regular reblogs continue lol#cat rambles
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