#or maybe not maybe ill continue to have fun and cool character analysis

[mishapen-dear]

(end of bad’s Acceptance vod, about 1:48:30)

no but im never going to be normal again. LOOK at this. look. IMMEDIATELY before this he gave a whole miserable speech at the graveyard about how much he misses the kids and how he wants them to come home. He was grieving so hard it started to rain. He cried while he sang to them. It was the perfect end to 5 days of grieving- and then he does this.

and the rain isnt about grief anymore- the thunder isnt a peaceful background to a heartbreaking scene. It is rage. the whole context changes. The storm raged on while he grieved like he raged during the Everything Else that happened (“there are a lot of federation workers on today. I need to interrogate them about some things” he said while he was following forever ALONE to distract him. he knew forever was fucked up and about to put more marriage pressure on him and for anyone else that would have been Terrifying. how could you focus on anything but that? but. bad was thinking about tormenting more federation workers)

i just!!!! its so good. its SO good its so scary its so good. bad hasnt accepted the loss of his children but he has accepted how far he will go to get them back. (he will do anything)

[eu1a1awrence]

Release the Harpocrates!George analysis??

😳👉👈

OOOOOH ANON U HAVE UNLEASHED THE FLOOD GATES YES. YES I SHALL.

im kinda copy-pasting this from google docs so sorry if any formatting fucks up, and its incredibly selfserving and specific in an attempt to find any and all possible links (do i really believe that they investigated this hard into the mythology? no. would this still be cool as shit? yes!)

so anyway disclaimer i am no mythology historian so if any of this is wrong uh...... artistic license.?. also its kinda long. sorry in advance lmao

okay so harpocrates is a greek interpretation of horus (the ancient egyptian god of the sun). hes the greek god of silence/secrets, but the greeks sorta misinterpreted the egyptian symbol for child (because horus was often depicted as a child/child god) as a symbol for silence, and i kind of relate this to fanon mis/interpretations of georges character being naive (''Naive and weak, George usually doesn't know what to do'' via dsmp wiki.) when he's just as much a seasoned warrior as the others, he just doesnt get involved with it much.

additional meanings/symbols of harpocrates is that he was ‘the distant one’ or ‘the one who is above’, which i think relates directly to georges apathy (regardless of its fanon or canon misinterpretations). also possibly something about his developing relationship with dreamxd & his developing lore to being /more than/ human so to say.

so if we accept that george really IS harpocrates, there are several links - and here is where it becomes distinctly intricate in an attempt to find as many similarities as possible, and youll have to forgive me for it - one may draw between harpocrates, george, and their symbolism.

like that Horus is the form of the first sun, and george is one of the founding members of DSMP.

harpocrates is commonly represented by a sheaf of corn. George was desperate to get back to his wheat farming during the loreman streams

bad told george in those streams to 'ask the sky' if he should take bad's items' when dreamxd killed him. horus>sun god>the sun & moon are commonly referred to as his eyes. this could also be some sort of hint to dreamxd being an omniscient sort of being tho. or both. who knows

Harpocrates (at least, his egyptian form as the young horus) was often depicted on a lotus flower. Lotus flower symbolism seems incredibly relevant to DSMP. they symbolise purity (innocence, childishness, naivety; bad referred to his items as ‘infected’, and george has never been to visit the egg - perhaps he’s pure of it?), enlightenment (there is a lot of emphasis and continued references to knowledge, curiosity, and ‘knowing the truth’. Karl, dream, quackity, and fundy seem to currently be the main purveyors of this and ¾ of them have relations to george), self regeneration and rebirth (resurrection book).

like idk maybe its a huge reach (probably is tbh) but theres a lot of underlying symbolism???

lotus flowers are also used as symbols of the union of higher/lower egypt and the union of two kingdoms, which makes me think of, like, the inbetween and the other-side, or life/death, and sleep/awake, greater dsmp/lmanberg, i could probably go on.

in egyptian mythology, young horus’s parents were osiris (the god of the underworld/death) and isis (goddess of death/magic/healing). There are a few moments where george tries to make amends/healings (like telling dreamxd to apologise after being excessively violent, ‘we’ll make amends’ in his lorestream). also (this part is bullshit and selfserving because i just think its cool) but wilbur playing loreman, being georges dad, and wilburs canonical character being an omen of death and destruction and the fact that (young) horus’s father was osiris.

the fact that egyptian pharoahs were seen as reincarnations of horus to the king george arc but maybe this is pushing it a bit (as if the rest of it hasnt been)

SO. horus is commonly depicted with a falcon or a sparrowhawk head. falcons symbolise freedom and victory, and were also often related to war gods in egypt. Spiritually, a falcon symbolises wisdom and protection (again, another mention to knowledge/wisdom, and george is presumably desperate for protection as seen in his desperation for netherite armour from dreamXD). Sparrowhawks symbolise the need to tap into a warrior at any time; like george calling/inviting dreamXD to the SMP whenever he's online which im fairly sure was discussed in georges lore stream too?

also roses are sometimes symbolic of harpocrates. they are sometimes used to show guests that any topic discussed in the room receiving them is not to be repeated or discussed elsewhere: where have we seen roses recently? the syndicate. (also the in-between and the quackity art, if you want to pull it into other lore avenues. All of these thrive on secrecy; karl keeping his time travel a secret; the syndicate remaining secret; and quackity not telling anyone about much of what goes on las nevadas/his prison visits with dream).

anyway: this was like all just for fun and i dont think it’s going to come true at all, it would just be cool as anything :> apologies again if any of my facts are wrong im just trying to tie knots in the lore with wet spaghetti

also a lot of this was aided by help from @insert-cleverurl bc we spent like. a while brainrotting this on discord. :D maybe one day ill make more lore theory/analysis posts because i have a cool dream/dreamxd one bubbling away

[everything-laito]

damn the brain be out here going BRRRRRR here’s the Laito and Cordelia Analysis (with a little bit of Karl sprinkled in) Part III

wow my fingers are freezing but my brain sure isn't! 

aaaanyways, iiiiiit’s trauma time!!! Am I a productive member of society by writing these analyses? No. Do I gain anything by writing them? Kinda, my brain gets exercised and they’re fun to research for. But if you haven’t read the first part or the second part for some reason (I recommend reading them in order), there they are. 

Once again, trigger warnings still apply; mainly about trauma, isolation, etc 

I’m gonna talk about the trauma and effects it had on Laito and to attempt to extrapolate why he is the way he is. I have a lot of examples I want to go over and stuff to talk about, so I think the trauma part is going to be split between two (or maybe three) parts. I also have a little bit to say about Karlheinz.

As always, big ass rant under the cut! 

Section 6: Neuroplasticity and Trauma

Oh???? More science vernacular??? You BET! Ok, neuroplasticity. I know I’ve talked about it on this blog. But, I seriously doubt that there is a madlad who has read all of my analyses (speaking of which, I should update the master list lmao) and I don’t expect anyone to do that LOL! Anyways, this neurological concept is the ability of neurons to adapt to certain circumstances or stimuli by creating new neurological pathways (through synapses). This basically relates to memory and learning. It’s why we don’t stay the same person as we grow and develop. It’s responsible from mindset changes to response to traumatic events. It plays a huge part in trauma, which is why “repressed memories” occur as well. 

Trauma, taken from Psychology Today, is defined as: 

...the experience of severe psychological distress following any terrible or life-threatening event. Sufferers may develop emotional disturbances such as extreme anxiety, anger, sadness, survivor’s guilt, or PTSD.

It’s a basic definition. And although I’d assume people would know what trauma is already, but knowing the lexical definition of something can be good to know before going into it. 

Obviously, Laito has trauma, there’s literally no refuting that. But, the point I’m getting at, is the reason why he is the way he is today is because of neuroplasticity. As previously stated, we are going to assume the DL vampire brain works similarly or the same as a human brain. So, because of the stress put upon the brain (Cordelia’s actions and Laito’s general upbringing in a stress filled household), Laito’s brain was rewired (neuroplasticity). This section doesn’t really have much new information, but I wanted to give a baseline since there’s many people who don’t know what neuroplasticity is.

Laito’s definitely different than what he was as a kid. He still kind of had his smarts, and might have been  but as we’ve deducted from the first part of this series, he might have been groomed. On top of that, the brain is easily moldable when you’re a child (which is why grooming makes sense for Laito’s case), and continues to snip brain cells off and form new connections. 

Section 7: Little intermission about Karlheinz 

I know I haven’t really talked about Karlheinz yet. So this will be the section that I do it in. I know this part is about Laito’s trauma, but it’s so hard to not just weave other characters into it. Nothing is stand-alone, which is why it was so hard for me to plan this out. I was debating about saving this for another analysis, but I feel like it fits. 

I referenced this in Part II, Section 5 of this analysis series. Basically, Karlheinz throws Laito into the dungeon and locks him up. Not Karlheinz personally, but he ordered someone to do it. We don’t explicitly know why, but there’s several implications. A huge one is that it was part of Karlheinz’ experiment. Before Dark Fate, I was like “wait, so did Karl find out about Laito/Cordelia? And got like jealous or was like ‘nah this shit fucked up no thanks’?” I was really scratching my head on that. But in Dark Fate, you find that Karlheinz knew about Cordelia and Laito, and even really wanted it to happen. Which is all sorts of fucked up. This really put Laito in for a loop. Here’s a scene from Dark Fate: 

Laito: That woman always, always believed in Karlheinz. Laito: She believed he married her because he loved her, wanted her. That’s why she was sure that one day... he will give his love only to her.  Laito: But she was tricked. She wasn’t loved from the start... Laito: -And I’m a victim of this unbelievable mistake... That’s how it is. Laito: I was treated as a vent for her feelings. Yui: ...Laito-kun... Laito: I’m sure he knew that something like this will happen... He is a god after all... Laito: I was hoping that... He just overlooked it up until now... Laito: But... I was naive.  Laito: I was only planned a scapegoat. 

God, when I played this, that just freaking struck me to my core. That’s so awful. Ironically... Karlheinz probably has some high level of emotional intelligence. I don’t believe he could be labeled as a sociopath, considering he has this high level understanding of pathos. He’s not god in a sense that he controls everyone individually himself. He’s so good at manipulation that he basically creates fate itself (whether you believe in it or not). He’s generally intelligent and cunning, and it also just helps with the fact that he’s immortal and can time travel. He knows cause and effect by now, and I believe Lost Eden said something about how he’s done so many different “timelines.” 

The definition of a god in a philosophical sense can be broken down into three words: omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent. More wicked cool jargon! Yay! Here’s what they mean for extra clarification:

Omniscient: All knowing Omnipresent: All seeing Omnipotent: All doing

Sure Karlheinz doesn’t absolutely know everything, nor can see everything, and he definitely has limits to his power, but he has gained knowledge through living for so many years and time traveling; he has familiars which add to the whole “all seeing” part; and he has a lot of power. So basically, in the most semi-”realistic” sense, it would definitely be the closest being to any kind of god.

Karlheinz is probably the reason why Laito himself has such contempt towards religion, and the existence of a god in general. Sure, the boys are like “that shit’s made up by humans” in general, but it would make sense for Laito himself to have that specific hatred. It makes sense that these vampires would be like “oh that’s made up by humans” when they’ve been around forever and have seen multiple religions come and go. (I’m mainly talking about in DL’s lore case, not starting a religious argument; please don’t take it as such––just to clarify)

Section 8: Isolation

Originally, the previous part was going to be about Laito’s isolation being locked up. However, I went off the rails and it turned into that little intermission. This is going to be a shorter section, but I still wanted to talk about, and it will weave into the next section. 

There is no implications about how long Laito was locked up (and tortured) in the dungeon. There’s also no implications about why he was tortured. But torture and isolation puts such stress on the brain that there’s definitely going to be some kind of outcome if persisting for a good period of time. So let’s take a look at what that does to a person. 

Once again, taking this with a grain of salt. I imagine vampires don’t need to rely on social interaction as much as humans do, considering they live forever. But we don’t know. However, throwing Laito into a state of isolation implies that it would be some type of torture or harsh punishment for a vampire, which therefore implies that social interaction is a necessity for emotional function. It’s just sound, inductive logic. 

So now, as for isolation, I’m using this article as reference. It’s a pretty interesting one to read. Here’s another extensive article as well. Basically isolation can cause:

Depression/anxiety

Immune system deficiencies (basically more likely to get physically ill)

Sleep cycle changes (if put underground or with limited natural light)

Hallucinations

Paranoia

Issues with processing information and more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation

We have no clue if Laito’s experience fits all of these. Also, the second one can be crossed out because vampires in DL can’t get physically sick in the way we can. Also, unsure about the sleep cycle stuff considering they are used to being in the dark. Hallucinations and paranoia can’t be crossed off nor proven. 

Being isolated physically and mentally exhausts the mind, which is why it’s also a way of torture. Laito implies that he was tortured with physical devices, but regardless, it’s still stress on the mind. This type of stress definitely goes along with what was mentioned with neuroplasticity and trauma, which also supports the last bullet point: issues processing information and being more susceptible to persuasion/manipulation. Take this flashback from Maniac Prologue in HDB that I used in Part II section 5 (but here’s even more context):

Laito: ーー Let me go!! Let me out of here! Butler: I can’t, young lord. We’ve received strict orders from your father. I am deeply sorry, but please stay put for a while. Laito: What’s the point in having me chained up in here!? Butler: ーーI am very sorry. Laito: Hahahaha…You stupid old man! Do you think that this will make repent!? How foolish! That demon! Has his brain finally rotten from spending too much time with humans!? ー Cordelia appears Cordelia: ー Oh? Laito: …!? Have you come to save me? Cordelia: Oh dear. Ufufu…I’m sorry Laito, that isn’t it. Laito: Eh? Richter: ー Why are you here? Laito: …That’s my line. Cordelia: Okay, okay. No fighting! More importantly, Richter…Come here. Laito: …!? Cordelia: Nnn…Hey, Laito. You are a good boy. Laito: …!! Cordelia: Right, Laito? Laito: Yeah, that’s right. I’m…I’m a good boy after all.  ーー Besides, I’m the type of person who only get more aroused from this kind of thing.

Although I also use this to support the whole Stockholm syndrome point, this could also be supported with the trauma isolation also holds. His mind is being re-molded into the facade he holds. Also, note the whole “do you think this will make me repent?!” part. Just a very interesting thing. The word “repent” implies that there’s something to feel guilty about or the person knows that what they’ve done is bad. It just goes to show that Laito has some part of guilt or moral compass still in tact. 

You can also argue that this scene was when Laito just got locked up, or he’s been here for a while. Either way, he could have also been socially isolated before this too, just hanging around Cordelia like it’s implied when he was a child. Remember the whole not being in bed 9/10 times when he was a child? Yeah, controlled social isolation. We also rarely see Laito with other characters in his flashbacks. I don’t believe we see him with his brothers in any of his flashbacks from what I can recall; he’s usually with Cordelia. Just implies (to me) that he’s around her a lot. And being locked up is also a more extreme case of that, which would mold the brain even more. 

I know that was a LOT to process and read. I sure hope this still is cohesive for you all. I’m pretty bad at organizing this kind of stuff; it’s a bit difficult since it all just goes together. Which, kudos on the writers of DL, because that’s just good writing. I was going to put something about gaslighting in this part, but that might be too long, so I’m going to make that a separate part or include it in the next part. 

If you have any questions, feel free to just put it in the inbox. I’m planning on making the last part of this series answering all the Laito/Cordelia questions I’ve received, or just general questions pertaining to this analysis in general, whether it be tangential questions or clarifying questions. 

Hope you all are still enjoying this ride as much as I am!  -Corn

[lynxalon]

<Lynxalon's Masterpost>

Hullo, I'm Lynx, he/fae/moss/rust/sprout/vine pronouns! Worm/skulk/rot if we're close <3 Am 22, and this little pinned post is where I will Hoard my works! Check out my pronouns ‘n stuff :D

Just some info about me (specifically about writing)! I've been a writer for 10 years now (funnily enough, that's half of my life!) Writing is my biggest passion, it's my lifeblood and ngl I could drone on and on for ages about writing and how much I love it, and how it has affected me, etc. etc. etc... So... If you wanna ask me about my writing, do so with caution lmao! ^^

Currently writing for: Dream SMP (Only character stuff, no rpf cause I'm not confy with that)

Check out @the-mystery-of-deofell​ for updates on my current fic!

If you happen to have an idea you'd like me to write, just shoot an ask me way, but please preface it with [Idea] so there's no chance for me to misunderstand. I'd like to be a lot more active with writing for the dsmp, but I do have Mental Illness so please forgive me if I take a SecondTM to get to your ask! 💚💚💚

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Drabbles: My, My, My (C!Wilbur-centered, revival; 5-4-21) —

Ongoing Series: N/A

Au's: N/A (but currently working on something ^^)

[Idea's]: N/A (this spot will be for if anyone sends asks for me to write, which would be very cool and maybe even pog)

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ANALYSIS POSTS:

Revivedbur vs Ghostbur Analysis

Short analysis; aftermath of Wilbur and Tommy's Las Nevadas streams (5-31-21)

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Quiet Poems

< These are a small project that our previous host, Kris, started a while back. It's become tradition for hosts to continue with quiet poems of our own. I (Lynx) lost track ages ago, as they were once numbered, but I suppose this is my time so they won't be numbered anymore. If you wish to see more, please check out our #quiet poems tag and enjoy your stay 💚]

Latest: I'm Not Lying

Previous: some days i think i died the summer after i graduated high school

A Shine Unlike Any Other

What fuels hope

The Daughter Who Was Not a Daughter

Clover Summer or Honeysuckle Spring?

A life not so old but so precious

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ART

< Here is a collection of art that I do! I'm not an artist, at least I don't consider myself one, but I'm practicing and just having fun with it!

Bearbubb fanart [7-19-21]

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[metawish]

Family x Hunter: My mini analysis about family relationships in HxH

I am a HUGE sucker for found family troupes and family-oriented stories. There just aren't enough stories to explore the nature of those relationships and how influencial they can be to our development as people. For those of us who's primary relationships are our families, we're left out of the dialouge.

So imagine my surprise when Hunter x Hunter ended up being the anime I can't stop thinking about precisely because of the MULTIPLE family relationships and psudorelationships that happen throughout the plot. Imagine my double surprise when it turns out those family relationships are prioritized and emphasized in the anime over others like the all too popular friendship.

Written for the Carnival of Aro’s Jan 2021 Theme: Stories

Take the premise as a starting point. Gon decides to become a hunter, not because it's cool or because he wants to find some rare cool thing he's never seen before. No, instead, he wants to become a hunter to get closer to his absent father. The ENTIRE show only happens because Gon is driven by a desire to connect with and forge a relationship with his father. I think I can safely say that the family aspect of Hunter x Hunter is embeded into it's core.

Then take a look at the reasons the other main four choose to become hunters. Kurapika is hoping to avenge the massacur of his family clan, a clan that does not interact with the outside world. His entire character arc and development is based on this goal of seeking revenge.

Killua is at the Hunter exam because he heard it was easy. But then we learn, he left home because he wants to REJECT his family obligation to take up the family business.

"Okay, fair," I hear you all say, "but what about Leorio? He just wants money."

Let me help you connect the dots here. First, he claims he wants to become a hunter because of the money. Then we learn he wants to use that money to become a doctor and then provide free medical treatment for those who cannot afford it. THEN we learn that this motivation STEMS from a childhood incident where a best friend of his ended up dying from a treatable illness because he couldn't afford the medical treatment neccessary. Leorio decided then that he did not want anyone else to experience that, tried to go at it the normal way, and realized that it would be nearly impossible for him to afford it. Any average person might end up giving up on this dream, but Leorio was so dedicated to his goal that he ended up training to become a hunter, a physically and mentally strenuous task. JUST so he can get access to more money.

If anything, Leorio's the one who's most motivated by platonic relationships! While Kurapika,Gon, and Killua's motivations are based on obligations to family, Leorio's motivation is only suggested. It isn't like this friend is still alive and Leorio is obligated to save him. No one but Leorio is beholden to the completion of his mission. The strength in that bond has to be strong for him to go to the lengths he did.

AND THIS IS ONLY THE VERY BEGINNING!

Gon's arc goes from becoming a hunter to finding his dad. Kurapika disappears from the story precisely because he is off getting revenge. Killua's development as a character entirely rests in the way he navigates between his family, with entire plots surrounding the Zoldyks. Leorio reenters the narrative JUST to show how deeply he cares for Gon and Killua, and serves as a nice foil to Ging, Gon's father.

I physically cried during Killua's final arc, when he apologized to his youngest sister, asking for her forgiveness after being a "bad big brother." Killua went from essentially running away from home rejecting his family, to asking for forgiveness from a cherished family member. And the nuance inbetween! Freeing himself from his oldest brother's mind control. Finding common ground with his father that, at least in the anime, never gets used against him. Rejecting the family business without rejecting the family. While it still feels incomplete, the joy at seeing him reconnect with a family member and promise to always be together forever made the little shrivelled starved heart of mine swell satisfied.

Killua is a perfect example of the story focusing on his family relationships over his friendships, or at the very least, implying that those family relationships are more important than those with his friend. Does Killua leverage the fact that he made a pact with his dad to never abandon a friend? Yeah. But the fact is that he still went to his family for help.

In the last episode, he tells Gon, his first and only friend, that they have to part ways since he has to protect his little sister. He even says that she comes first before Gon. After struggling to understand if Gon is as committed to him as Killua was to him, he finds closure in his little sister's dedication and wholesome affection. (When he asks Alluka if he was the only one in the whole world that loved her, would that be enough, her response was that she couldn't stop smiling. Because the answer was yes. And perhaps, it was also a question for Killua. Is Alluka's love for him enough?)

And Leorio. LEORIO. As I said, he disappears from the narrative, largely because his mission and Gon's are not the same. But when Gon is out of commission, Leorio comes back into play. The PLOT is affected by this decision and MOVES because if this. Leorio was simply trying to find a way to help his friend, and decides to publically ask his father where he is during such a critical time. Leorio's emotions at Ging's lack thereof ends up putting him in the spotlight, a spotlight he uses every time to seek answers for Gon and to reaffirm his commitment to saving Gon. As much as I HATED the slowmotion, the reunion between Leorio and Gon after Gon's been healed was felt deep in my SOUL. Contrast that QUITE LITERALLY with Ging's reaction and we have the potential for some major character development and storytelling about what a family relationship really is about.

Do we have to earn those familiar relationships? Are we expected to commit to people who are not committed to us simply because they are blood? Can we reject them? Is Killua's reject of his oldest brother over their younger sister a conflict that cannot be solved? Can we form them with strangers? Who is more of a stranger to Gon; his absent dad or the guy he met on a ship headed to an exam? Are we obligated to our family duties like Killua and the family business or Kurapika and his life destroying hunt to avenge his dead family?

Kurapika's story felt a little flat, which is a shame because there is so much potential to explore! The struggle to avenge his clan stems not from his clan, but from his own trauma and pain. His family was ripped right under him, leaving him no one to rely on. Instead of form new relationships, he rots along with his family. In a sense, his disappearance from the narrative represents his character regression, fading from existance like his family.

From a family taken away, to a father who was never there in the first place. Gon's story feels incomplete. Feels a bit like Gon's growth as a character is secondary to the advancement of the plot. Feels like sweeping major issues under the metaphorical rug and calling it a fun show. This man never once visited his son. When leaving a recording for his son, he flat out told Gon he did not want to see him at all. During his time in the hospital, never once did he visit. Sure, we see him remain confident that Gon is alright, but is this confidence misplaced? Is this even true confidence in a person he's never met before? I feel like I am missing a giant piece of the puzzle explaining why Gon, a 12 year old boy who had no male figure in his life, easily accepts Ging.

Let's not forget how Gon didn't even WANT to learn more about his birth mother, a mystery that we will never solve. Just another example of trying to answer what family means. Mito is an aunt, but to Gon, Mito is his mother. (Yet Ging can still be his father? Why not Leorio? A far more deserving man of any affection whatsoever.)

How the story should go. After meeting up with Ging, he continues to go on an adventure with him. As they travel through the far more dangerous continent, Gon faces death multiple times. All this while Ging continues without regard for his safety. Gon reflects, thinking back to his friend Killua, who would attack Gon if it was to protect him. Who called him the sun. Back to Leorio, who hugged Gon like he mattered. Who said he was sorry for not being there for him. As they continue on, he reflects on who really matters. A call for help from his friends. Does he answer the call or remain by his father's side?

What makes a familiar relationship? Blood? Obligation? Depth of affection? Trust? Who makes or breaks those ties? How much do we grow from those relationships?

Hunter x Hunter exceeds my expectations, but also fails to live up to the story it sets itself up to be. I never thought I'd see such an incredible character development that centers on family. I hoped for something on the Ging & Gon front, perhaps as a means of exploring my own thoughts on the matter. Sorely disappointed. I think about this anime often because there is still much left to the imagination. A story unfinished. Perhaps that's what makes it a good story; especially one that decides to kick the standard and focus on a relationship that all of us have dealt with, but many of us overlook.

Is this show good? Debatable. What isn't debatable is how important family is to the plot and character development of the show. Maybe, in an alternative world somewhere, there is a satisfying ending where Gon acknowledges his own family trauma. He realizes how important his friends are, maybe seeing them more as his own family. Kurapika's revenge slowly fizzles out, instead replaced by the need to protect what's still alive. Killua resolves his family issues while remaining true to himself and Leorio adopts Gon.

Maybe the real family is the one we make along the way.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about every episode of The Owl House Season 1 (Part 1/2)

Salutations random people on the internet who probably won't read this. I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

Hey, do you miss Gravity Falls?

...

Yeah, I know, dumb question. Which is why I have good news! Not only is there a new series that is just as good as Gravity Falls, but in some ways, it's even better. That new series would be none other than Disney Channel's latest hit: The Owl House.

The Owl House, slowly but surely, became my new obsession since Eda reacted to decapitation with an unconcerned, "I hate when that happens." I wrote fan-fiction, made fan-art, and even began to separately review new episodes. Unfortunately, I got in a little late in the reviewing game and only managed to analyze the last four episodes of season one. And like an idiot, I promised that I'll review the rest when they came out on Disney+. Seeing that all of the first season has finally come on a legal streaming service (which means WATCH IT RIGHT NOW!), it's time I finally saw through to that promise. However, I'm not going to over-analyze each episode because that would be insane. So instead, we're going to lightning round these suckers. Because it's my Tumblr, and I get to decide what I review and how the hell I review it...hooah.

Which means this is your last chance to avoid spoilers if you haven't seen The Owl House yet. Seriously, it's a great show, and you can catch up right now on Disney+. A week-long trial is more than enough time to watch the series, so DO IT! With that out of the way, let's get started with:

“A Lying Witch and a Warden”: This episode gets a lot of flack for having poor pacing and being too preachy with its message. And to that, I say...you're not wrong. Yeah, I wish I could be that person who can defend this episode against criticism like that, but these are understandable problems that just left this icky feeling in my tum-tum when watching. But that's only when looking at it as a regular old episode when in reality, people need to see it as a first episode. The first episode in any show needs to get viewers interested enough to continue watching by answering these five essential questions: What's the plot of the show? What's the tone? Who are the main characters? What's the world they live in? And what are the rules of the same world? "A Lying Witch and a Warden" does a great job of answering all of these questions. And if you stuck around until the season finale, then that means it did a great job of keeping you interested in sticking around as well. So seeing how it got its job done, albeit, with mixed results, I give this episode a B-.

“Witches Before Wizards”: Don't mind me. Just reveling in the fact that Luz escaped to a fantasy world to avoid Reality Check Camp, only to get a reality check anyway. Because that's what this episode is in a nutshell. Through the "quest" that Luz goes on, she learns two important lessons: One, don't trust strangers who offer you something nice and shiny (bonus points for Eda warning Luz to avoid men with sandals and then have Ategast wear sandals). And two, there is no such thing as having a predetermined destiny. I love the idea that Luz coming to the Isles was just a twist of fate, and everything that happens afterward is pure dumb luck. And that moment when Eda gave a speech about making your own path instead of waiting to become something special? That was the moment when I went from thinking this was going to be a fun show to thinking it's going to be a great show. So consider this episode a solid A in my book.

“I Was a Teenage Abomination”: How is it possible for an episode to get better and worse with time? Because here's the thing: This episode does a great job of showing how perfect Amity's development is. After one single season, it already feels jarring, seeing the way she acts in certain scenes. However, in that same respect, it's the same reason why this episode got worse. I didn't mind that Willow practically got away with cheating and vandalizing the school with her magic because she and Luz were basically trying to show up a two-dimensional bully. But knowing what we know in the future, it does seem unfair that Amity gets punished for their bad behavior and Willow got little consequences for it. Sure, Luz got banned and had to work at gaining Amity's trust, but what about Willow? Although, despite this complaint, I don't really hate this episode. It builds a believable connection between Luz and her friends, and the B-plot King and Eda show off their budding friendship. So while this episode is a C-, it's a somewhat enjoyable C-.

“The Intruder”: Is it weird for anyone else that King gets most of the blame in this episode? Yes, he took the potion, but Luz was the one who kept pushing him. This is why it never sat right with me seeing how everyone, including himself, blames King for this episode's incident. That being said, "The Intruder" is fantastic. Eda, as the Owl Beast, is legitimately threatening, and the way the episode treats Eda's curse like a chronic illness is actually kind of sweet. It teaches kids how this is something that just happens to people, and they're not any weaker because of it, as long as they take the right steps. Which is cool, and it's why this is another solid A episode for me. Sure King getting the blame bothers me, but it pales in comparison to everything else “The Intruder” does right.

“Covention”: If you want my personal opinion (obviously, seeing how you're reading this), "Covention" is the perfect episode to show a friend to get them into watching the The Owl House. Everything there is to love about the show is seen in just these twenty-two minutes. Eda being a chaotic good, Luz being a sweet and understanding character, some incredible/natural world-building, an actually decent B-plot, an epic fight scene, great comedy, and, my personal favorite, the building of Luz and Amity's relationship. In fact, this episode has the most quintessential moment between these two, that Dana Terrace herself took charge of making the animatic for it. A scene that is so perfect that you can do an analysis of these few minutes alone...which is what I did. Click here to read it! "Covention" gets an A+ in my book and might possibly be the best episode of the season. Maybe even the series!

“Hooty’s Moving Hassle”: There's not really a lot I can say about this episode. I don't hate it, but I'm not exactly in love with it. The interactions between Luz and her friends are adorable, and there are a few good jokes that kept me laughing. But the story is kind of bland, and I just find Eda's sudden obsession with Hexes Hold'em kind of odd. Especially since a card game is what nearly defeated the "undefeatable" Owl Lady. If it wasn't for the nice reveal of Willow's and Amity's friendship (which comes into play in a far better episode), I'd say that you could skip this one on future rewatches. Because this is a C grade episode that just doesn't grab me as well as others.

“Lost in Language”: Ah, yes. The episode that made dozens of fans jump aboard the Lumity ship...unless you're like me, and you've been shipping these two since the show's theme song (And I don't know why, either. It's just the second I saw Amity my first thought was, "Oh, honey. You're gonna fall in love with the main character, aren't you?" AND I WAS F**KING RIGHT!). But jokes about shipping aside, "Lost in Language" is a fantastic episode. It has a great lesson about how people are more complex than their first impressions (Or to not judge a book by its cover, if you wanna stay on theme). Edric and Emira seem like a chaotic duo who cause mischief all for good fun. But Luz, as well as the audience, learns that Ed and Em are kinda the worst (they get better in future episodes, but still). Then there's Amity, who hasn't had the best first impressions in the last few episodes. We got glimpses of a good person here and there, but for the most part, that's all they were. Glimpses. Then there's this episode, which gives us more than a small look, but some actual insight into who Amity really is. Better yet, who she wants to be. It's something that I appreciate about The Owl House in that it wastes no time in developing Amity's character. So much so that I can forgive this episode for shoehorning a "Two idiots and a baby" plotline that does nothing but add maybe two minutes of padding. So yeah, it's an A+ for sure.

“Once Upon a Swap”: "Ugh! It's the body swap episode! How cliche and-" SHUT UP! Shut your mouth, and listen: Something being cliche does not always make it bad. Only when the cliche fails to tell an entertaining story does it have the right to work as a complaint. "Once Upon a Swap" may have a cliche premise, but it's still an enjoyable story (or stories) with great laughs and even some ok lessons. I can understand if you hate the episode because its premise is something you've seen a dozen times to the point where your sick of it. My most hated story idea is the "Character A saves Character B, and Character B becomes a life slave." If you have seen this story once, you've seen it a thousand times, and it's the same case with a "body swap" episode. But guess what: The Owl House is a kids' show. Kids'. Show. You can complain all you want about predictability, but kids are the type of viewers who will be new to this experience, despite if it's one that is done to death. Which is why this is solid B of an episode if you ask me.

“Something Ventured, Someone Framed”: Can people please stop shipping Gus with Mattholomule? Because that slimy, greasy, weaselly little son of A BASTARD BITCH WEASEL DOES NOT DESERVE LOVE IN WAY POSSIBLE!

...

But enough about how Mattholomule is the worst character ever, because "Something Ventured, Someone Framed" is a B+ in my opinion. Sure it shows the worst side of Gus and lets Satan's little herpe win in the end, but there is still quality to be had. We get insight into who Gus is as a character, on top of Eda swallowing her pride and cleaning the school so Luz can get into Hexide. Also, Eda's permanent record was the first time this show brought me to tears due to laughing so hard. So while I have to take points off for the inclusion of Mattholomule (I don't make the rules. I just live by them), this is still an episode I wouldn't mind revisiting.

“Escape of the Palisman”: I subscribe to this theory that Luz will one day have Eda's staff as her own. And episodes like this that strengthen the bond between Luz and Owlbert help confirm that theory. Luz's dedication to trying to make things right could just be part of her kind nature, but I like to believe that this is Dana and the crew trying to set up this possible outcome. As for what I think about the episode itself...it's ok. Again, Luz's dedication is nice to see, and King's adventure with Owl Beast Eda is somehow insanely adorable, but there's not really much to say other than that. So it's another B episode for me.

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And that’s the end of part one! Part two has probably already been posted by the time you finish this, so you can go ahead and find that if you’re interested.

[lasorciereviolette-blog]

On Witch

(So RP’s are a bit slow right now so I might as well continue down the saltapalooza that has been opened up due to a post on how Sega’s flanderized Amitie over the years. 

This one’s kind of all over the place, because it’s not a strict flanderization argument per se and since Witch is my favourite I like to gush about her. I’ll try to keep on topic as much as possible though.

So I’ll start by saying that honestly, this could be a lot worse in several ways. Sega’s done at least a little homework on Witch. It took them nearly a decade to put Witch in one of their games (no, 7 does not count since she has no lines) but it looks like she’s here to stay seeing as she was kept on the roster for both Tetris and Chronicle.

But... Now what? See, my analysis has led me to the conclusion that Sega have absolutely idea of what to do with Witch.

I didn’t always have that viewpoint. At one time I thought Sega had done a pretty good job with Witch. She showed up, her story was reasonably funny, and she was actually allowed to behave like a selfish jerk unlike certain characters. 

However, a little while ago I came across a translation of Yon’s cutscenes. And I came across an unfortunate discovery: Witch’s campaign in 20th is nothing new at all. Nope. It’s just a copy-paste of her few scenes in Yon, and one cutscene in Sun.

Let me elaborate. See, in 20th Witch is trying to collect ingredients to create a potion in one of Wish’s spellbooks. Collecting these ingredients involves taking parts off of certain cast members, namely Draco’s tail, the Acorn Frog’s eye, an imp’s horns, a ladybug, a dark wizard’s hair, and a fish’s scales. On the surface this isn’t a bad premise. I didn’t mind it too badly before I knew anything about Yon. Except in Yon, Witch’s goals are almost identical. She needs Draco’s tail and Seriri’s scales, and wants to collect Carbuncle’s finger grime (... somehow) just in case she ever needs it. When she comes across a sleeping Dragon, she also tries to seize the opportunity to grab some snot.

The details aren’t exactly the same, at least. Which is nice, because if the scenes were word for word the exact same I’d be even more peeved. I can at least give the writers that much. The thing is, after waiting so long for a beloved character’s comeback, why did they decide just to recycle half the cutscenes from other games? I suppose this can be forgiven since it’s an anniversary title, but it’s still a little odd.

And then we get to Tetris, where Witch has a total of... One scene. When DLC was released, she got another very short scene. While these were both original, there... Really was nothing to them. All she wants to do is perform an experiment with blocks in one, and in the other she mocks Draco, which would have been absolutely unsurprising if you had played either Saturn or Yon in the past. Witch’s appearance is very much a token one and she doesn’t even really interact with other characters besides Draco Centauros when there was an opportunity to have her bounce off of the members of the Starship Tetra, or Amitie, or Ringo. Or maybe to put her in Primp and have her hang out with some of the people she used to. Talk about a waste. Witch is a fun and dynamic character who has been allowed to remain a bit of a jerk. There was plenty of room to have her interact with new characters, but instead they threw her into space and called it a day. Hell, she’s a comet witch and she doesn’t even notice she’s in space!

Which leads me into the next part of this rant, the fact that Sega only really seemed to look at Yon and one cutscene in Sun and determined her entire character from there. Before Yon Witch was primarily a comet witch. While she did make potions in Seriri’s Happy Birthday, Witch’s gameplay was focused more on flight and spellcasting. Based on her moveset in other games, Witch not only shares most of Arle’s spell set (being proficient in fire, ice, and lightning magic, as well as being able to cast Brain Dumbed and Jugem) but has her signature Meteor spell and a few other comet style magics such as Big Bang. These spells have a distinctive star theme when she casts them, distinguishing her from Arle.

Pretty cool, huh? She is also somewhat of a melee fighter, not being afraid to swat people with her broom. (this isn’t the greatest of examples but it’s cool so)

Coming back to her broom flying, a whole game was built around it called Comet Summoner. It didn’t have much of a story, but it did feature a bunch of cute levels and a powerful boss that may or may not have been Witch’s future self. And this future self was strong, with a huge red aura, several health bars, and the ability to not only zip around the stage at high speeds, but cast spells of her own and combo you with a mix of melee and magic if you fuck up and get too close to her.

Witch would make a good fighting game character. 

This is getting a bit off topic, but point is, Witch is versatile. But unfortunately it seems that apart from her spell names Sega can’t be bothered to remember her versatility and just wants her to make wacky potions. I’m not opposed to her making wacky potions, it’s not necessarily bad, but at one time she was a lot more than that.

She was more complex as a character than she seems to be in 20th or Tetris. Maybe not in Yon, where she appears very little, but in Madou Monogatari she got some attention. Yes, Witch is selfish. Yes, she’s pretty power hungry. Yes, she’d probably sell quite a few people out for a single corn chip. But there are some people who are dear to her, like for example her grandmother Wish. While again, I can’t read Japanese, Witch Leeroy Jenkins’s into a room when she sees her grandmother’s body on the floor in Tower of the Magician. Afterwards, Witch’s body language is pretty clear to see.

She’s clearly very worried about Wish and does not appreciate any harm coming to her. Even jerks have loved ones, I guess?

Let’s give Sega the benefit of the doubt, maybe that one trait just hasn’t come into play yet. After all, Wish hasn’t appeared (but she has been mentioned). Sure. However, there are other traits that the Sega games ignore when it comes to Witch’s character.

First, Sega has arguably made Witch into an even worse jerk. In Compile’s games, Witch is often abrasive and rude, but she will defer to an expert’s judgment in a situation she doesn’t understand. Case in point, Saturn. Upon coming across the Yog smoke, she avoids possession because she immediately listens to Arle and Rulue’s advice. She doesn’t argue, she just does it. 

Contrast this with 20th. 

In general, Witch is crafty and rather full of herself in Saturn, but not so much as Rulue. She has a low opinion of martial arts and so that makes her play well off of Rulue (It probably also explains her animosity towards Draco), while she has a high opinion of her magical skill and loves to soak up praise. Witch also shows little ill will towards those who quit the tournament after a Yog presents itself, which might hint at some sensibility the character doesn’t tend to have much of after this. 

Witch is also a bit of a snarker in this game:

There’s character here besides her excitability, or getting pissed off when things don’t go her way. Now Saturn does bring up Witch’s legendary temper, but we don’t really see the results of that in-game. 20th really pushes that informed attribute into the spotlight, where all her thoughtfulness and cleverness go out of the window for her to make a bad potion that obviously contained too many substitutions, to the potion not being useful in the first place, to her beating up Lemres for stating the blatantly obvious. Witch doesn’t really come off any smarter than Draco at the end of this, because all of this was obvious! She just comes off as an even worse ass than usual because of Sega’s wackiness mandate.

I also really don’t get what the point of her fighting Lemres even was. Lemres seems disappointed at the end that he didn’t get to talk to Witch more, but the story just ends. There isn’t any kind of payoff or character growth here. Just... Nothing. Again, a total waste of potential, having the two comet mages meet and then do absolutely nothing of value. Love it, Sega.

Oh yeah, there were two more things Sega forgot about. First, this.

Witch is probably an actual pervert, to contrast with Schezo’s fake perversion (which may or may not be real perversion too sometimes, because Saturn’s fun like that). So that’s another thing Sega forgot, for better or for worse.

Which leads me to the last bit that Sega’s forgotten. This too I can’t really say if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I like that it exists in Compile’s games, but if Sega remembered it would likely devour what remains of Witch’s personality. In certain games, there are implications that Witch may have a crush on Schezo. She fawns over him in athletic clothes in Puyolympics and as seen above, asks if he’s cool and wants to touch him in Saturn. Then of course there’s the whole “I want you” scene that solidifies the thing. For all I know there could be evidence for or against this in Tower of the Magician, which is a game where the two spend quite a bit of time interacting with each other, but since I haven’t learned to read Japanese in the last few hours I can’t comment on that, as much as I want to.

Now whether this is a good or bad thing for Sega to ignore really depends on your interpretation of this trait. I’m personally torn, because again I’m glad that Witch has not been reduced to a lovesick one-note failure. On the other, it’s a facet that a more competent writing team could have explored with some success. So it sucks that it’s been abandoned completely, but the end result could have been really terrible had Sega noticed this, so... Yay?

Okay, so I’ve written blocks of text. What does it all mean? Well, it means Witch isn’t immune to being flanderized in Sega’s works. It could be a lot worse, but there’s plenty of Witch’s character that’s been left out of current Puyo and plenty that has been aggrandized into a worse person. Right now Witch reminds me of a mixture of herself and Saturn’s take on Rulue, which... Really sucks, because no wonder Sega can’t figure out how to make Rulue stand out if they give her traits to other characters! Poor Rulue. Give her some love, Sega. She doesn’t deserve this kind of shafting.

As for Witch, you’re not going to get a total sweet kindhearted girl out of her. She was never that kind of character and that’s not a bad thing. But throwing on Rulue’s most boastful traits and making her a worse jerk, then giving her cameos because you don’t know what to do with her isn’t a good way to characterize her. Return some of that sense into the mix! Like I said in my Schezo comments, not everyone needs to be a wacky joke 24/7.

[agentelmo]

The X-Files MSR Analysis Series: Season 1 Episode 10

“Fallen Angel”

Previous episode analysis - 1x09 Space.

From an MSR angle, Fallen Angel tells the story of Mulder’s personal angel, and how different his life might have been if he had never met her.  We see here (and many times in the future) that when Mulder tries to go it alone, he doesn’t get very far.  There are parts of this episode which feel like a glimpse into the life Mulder might have led if Scully had never came into his world.  A crazy man running around the forest with a gun and a camera, getting nowhere fast and most likely winding up in prison, and/or fired from the FBI.  Or living the life of a nomadic hermit, holed up in a tin can clipping away at newspapers and squinting at blurry photographs.

Then perhaps he might have turned to squatching much earlier in life, and you know that 90′s Mulder squatching would have only led to bad things.  Very bad.

So the episode starts with Mulder in Wisconsin about to 007 his way into a quarantined area.  The news is reporting it as an ecological disaster, but thanks to Grandpa Deep Throat, Mulder knows it is actually a UFO crash site.  Papa Throat tells Mulder he has 24 hours tops to get in there and check out this downed UFO before the cleaners break out the military strength Mr. Muscle.

Fuck me, can I please jump into this screencap and suck on that bottom lip? HNNNNNGGGGGG...  I feel like I am channelling someone.  Is that you @defnotmeyo?

Clearly Mulder has failed to inform Scully of his escapade.  At this point in time, Scully is still completely unaware of Deep Throat and the fact Mulder gets a lot of his information from him.

This failure points to the fact that Mulder is still holding off from completely trusting Scully.  He can see she has integrity; despite her assignment to the X-Files being a means to an ends - a surreptitious attempt to spy on Mulder - she takes this assignment seriously and applies her scientific rigour to his work honestly and faithfully, and he sees that. 

She has supported him steadfastly throughout their short partnership, but he still cannot shake that she was sent to spy on him.  He cannot trust her with this greatest of secrets - the knowledge of Deep Throat’s existence.

It’s fair enough really, because as much as he really wants to trust Scully (and he really does want to trust her) he is still uncertain.  The way he behaves around her says to me that he has a deep affinity for her.  

Superficially he’s definitely low key attracted to her from the word go - she’s a beautiful woman - but deeper than that, they fall into sync with one another almost effortlessly at times, even when they’re at odds yelling at one another, they’re both learning that they can push each other and it will be okay.  They will have each others back.  The events of Ice taught them that.

But Ice also asked a question that Fallen Angel continues to pose.  Can Mulder trust Scully?  He desperately wants to trust her, but old habits die hard.  Mulder’s motto is trust no one, after all.  What if Scully’s entire purpose is to gain his trust and smoke out the insider leaking information to Mulder?  While it’s no fun from an MSR angle, it does make sense that Mulder still doesn’t entirely trust Scully - he’s still weighing her up.  

So he goes it alone.  First mistake.  And Mulder decides to go on this jolly jaunt through the forest cosplaying as the Milk Tray Man.

“All because the lady loves...” 

Sorry non-Brits, you’ll have to look that one up.

He poodles through the forest trying to look bad ass, but fails spectacularly owing to the fact he has probably the dorkiest run ever.  Sorry Mulder, you just can’t look cool running over hill and dale.  

We know Mulder can look sexy running - he has a lovely bit of sexy running in season 6′s Milagro, for example.

Phwoooaaaaar, keep running G-Man.

But here, in this episode?  

Yeeeeeah, not so much.  

Look at him... boing, boing, boing!

What’s actually most surprising about this whole sequence is that he gets away with it!  He dangles underneath a military vehicle and very obviously plonks on the floor with a soldier so close by he must have been asleep not to hear it let alone see it.

I think it’s safe to say that Mulder’s knowledge on stealthiness was probably lifted exclusively from Tom Clancy novels.  

Either that, or he has stealth cheat codes enabled.

Now I can’t decide if this is Mulder’s “I can’t believe I just got away with that” face, or his “I think I just rolled in badger shit” face.  Hmmm... 

So Mulder bounds through the forest until he approaches a light in a clearing...

Creepy X-Files forest aesthetic on fleek.

He then reveals his true passion in life, as a photographer for Alien Vogue.

Work it, baby.

Going solo out here turns out to be pretty dangerous, so with no one to watch his back, Mulder finds himself getting butt-stroked.  

Wait, what?

Honestly, that’s what getting pummelled in the face with a rifle butt is called!  To be honest, I’d butt-stroke Mulder any day of the week.  Know what I’m sayin’?

After a serious talk about breaking federal law with the designated bad guy of the piece, Colonel Henderson.... 

...Mulder is imprisoned.  

Divine intervention is unlikely, Mulder.

So quick run down.  Mulder gets a hot tip, tells no one about it, runs off without Scully and ends up in military prison.  What a thoroughly unsurprising turn of events.  When Mulder goes it alone and tries to do anything without Scully, he gets his arse handed to him.  

Sorry Mulder, them’s the rules.

But it’s here we are introduced to Mulder’s mirror image.  The man Mulder might have become himself had it not been for a lucky sequence of events in his life that led him to having the right people around him at the right times, whereas Max Fenig clearly did not.

Say hi Max.

Nawww... Max is instantly endearing in his overt politeness and kooky appearance.  What we come to understand later is that Max recognises Mulder and he’s being such a try hard, wanting to be buddies with Mulder, because from observing his life from afar he feels he knows him.  I mean, we can all relate, right?

But Mulder is actually surprisingly dismissive of Max, and I think even somewhat judgemental.  He gets one look at Max and thinks he has the measure of him.  He ignores his polite invitation to talk and rolls his eyes as he turns away. 

I think Mulder might at times think himself above these kinds of people, the crazies who sit in fields on garden furniture holding up colourful “take me to your leader!” signs.  I think that’s what Mulder sees when he first looks at Max - the archetypal UFO wackjob.  The living embodiment of why his work isn’t taken seriously.

For a moment here, Mulder treats Max with the same dismissive disdain that other people have treated Mulder in the past.

Just to drive home the comparison between Max and Mulder, he utters Mulder’s favourite catchphrase of all time - trust no one.  Mulder might not want to admit it now, but despite their personalities being very different, these two men clearly think alike in many ways.

Side note, Max is quite possibly one of the best supporting characters the show ever had.  In all 10 seasons.

Mulder continues to roll his eyes ignoring Max, until Max asks if Mulder saw anything.  Mulder plays his usual trick, to get information out of others rather than giving up any of his own, by playing the contrarian.

But Max isn’t so easily fooled, it seems.

Notice how Max is rubbing his ear in this moment?  What makes him so sure?  Well maybe it’s the fact he’s been abducted by these “alieums!” several times already - hint, hint, rub scar.  FORESHADOWINGGGGGG!

Now finally, finally.  Scully arrives... I mean, it’s only been a good quarter of the flipping episode without her.  Geez... so her big dramatic entrance is entirely appropriate.

And glorious.

Imagine a church chorus as she enters, because the symbolism is so heavy handed here.  Scully arrives, bathed in bright white light - blinding Mulder with her brilliance - liiiiiike.... an angel perhaps?!

While the crashed UFOs are referred to as fallen angels, Scully is the true angel of the piece.  Mulder’s guardian angel.  A supposed proxy of his enemies, sent to spy on him to do the bidding of the Syndicate, essentially.  But in actuality is the only one truly looking out for him - and him alone.

But of course, Mulder knows he’s about to get a royal roasting.  So makes a ill-considered attempt at being charming.

I love that comment though, “I didn’t order room service.”  Because when Mulder does order room service, he orders a hot red head in a trench coat?  I’m not sure we’re thinking of the same kind of room service here, Mulder.  Rawr.

But Scully isn’t interested in banter, she’s here to tell Mulder he’s really done fucked up this time.  That the higher ups are using his latest tomfoolery as an excuse to cashier Mulder out of the FBI.

Poor Scully.  How frustrating this man must be to her in this moment.  She’s trying to save the X-Files here, Mulder, did you miss that?  She’s trying to save you too.  Without Scully, Mulder is heading for a personal disaster, because he frequently cannot see the forest through the trees.  So focused on his present goal he fails to see the larger consequences - or rather sees them, but doesn’t care - the sacrifice is worth it to him.  The Truth™ is all that matters.

Only Scully is fighting to pull him back from the edge, and when he seems utterly blasé about the fact the X-Files might be shut down, she loses her cool.

In fact, I think this is the first time we see Scully genuinely pissed off at him – like really furious.  She’s been varying levels of irritated, but this time she’s actually livid with his behaviour, and not just because he’s disregarding the rules.  

In past episodes Mulder’s lack of respect for protocol saw Scully concerned about her career and what the consequences of being associated with this man and the X-Files would mean for her, but now she’s trying her damnedest to save both.  

She’s angry because she cares and not just about their work, it’s established as far back as Conduit that she has more than just a professional interest in Mulder.  She cares about him.  She sees something in him worth caring about.

Steady on, we’re not quite at that point yet.

She cares about him as a friend and knows the X-Files are important to him - he would later refer to the X-Files as his life’s work - so of course she’s frustrated because she is trying to understand him, but can’t grasp why he would put the X-Files in jeopardy like this.  To her, it makes no sense.  To a new audience it makes no sense either.

Except that it does.  What we will eventually establish with hindsight, is that this kind of behaviour is Fox Mulder all over.  For merely a glimpse at the elusive truth, Mulder would risk everything.  He is a master of self-sabotage - he is determined to barrel headfirst into self destruction - and the fact Scully is there to save him time and again is such an incredible stroke of fortuitousness on his part that, sometimes, I’d swear the Cigarette Smoking Man chose Scully for this purpose all along.

So moving on, and Mulder is being pretty flippant about Scully’s explanation of what was out in the woods; he mocks her, even.  His attitude towards her similar to his dismissal of Max earlier.  A slight “you-have-no-idea-what-you’re-dealing-with” smugness.

But is this really fair of Mulder?  I mean, this disarming as fuck smile is definitely not fair of Mulder because hot dayum... But yeah - not what I meant.

What I meant is Mulder has information she doesn’t and that puts her at a disadvantage that she cannot overcome as a scientist who works off of evidence - proof.

She only sees Mulder seemingly pull this information out of his arse, so of course she isn’t going to believe him.  Like in Ghost in the Machine, he’s not giving her enough to go on.  It’s his own fault that she is so resistant to his version of events.  His lack of trust in her is what is bringing this all down.

This is when we see why trust is so key to their relationship, as Scully will say much later in season 6′s The Beginning - it has always come down to a matter of trust between them.  When they don’t trust each other, they both spin their wheels in frustration.  

This is another episode where we see the outline of their working dynamic being drawn.  As Scully will poetically put it one day, they are perfect opposites of each other, and as such their relationship only soars when they both trust in each other’s judgement, abilities and dedication to the truth - whatever that might be.

When mistrust, doubt and even resentment seep in, the differences that when perfectly aligned make them so strong, can instead work full force against each other, tearing them apart.  Funnily enough, a good example of that is in The Beginning too.  

But in this moment, Mulder doesn’t believe Scully puts the truth above protocol and he still isn’t sure if he can trust her not to report everything he tells her to the people he believes work against him.  So he continues to hold out about Deep Throat... and, for now at least, they continue to grate against each other.

But hey, don’t worry about it.  Any time you start to feel down about how Mulder and Scully are at odds with each other, just remember that one day these two Spooky babies will be having kinky handcuff sex.  Canon kinky handcuff sex.

The next little scene with them has it’s MSR charm in a way.  Because Scully is effectively Mulder’s jailer (a fact he amusingly references later with a bit of 70′s pop culture).  She’s escorting him back to D.C. to face an Office of Professional Responsibility hearing - OPR!  

We hear about OPR quite a bit over the coming years with these two, don’t we.  Which is why these early brushes with pissing off the higher ups are so interesting to go back and look at, because it’s such a stark reminder of how their love and dedication to one another eventually takes over all reason - for both of them.  

We know there will come a time when there will be no lengths to which Scully will not go for Mulder.  From being thrown into prison, to sacrificing her job, to going on the run and harbouring him as a criminal fugitive for 6 years.  This episode serves to highlight the beginnings of this behaviour in Scully.  Her going against the rules for Mulder.

So, knowing she’s been sent there to take him back to D.C., Mulder changes tack, he wants her on board, he values her insight and abilities so he wants her to help him on this now that she’s here.  When she’s there, undeniable and in his presence, it’s almost like he can’t help himself but to put his faith in her.

Scully, bless her, does her best to hold on to being angry at him.  But Mulder’s incessant charm always screws her over in the end.  She can’t resist him - and I don’t mean sexually, I mean just his boyish enthusiasm and unshakeable determination seems to always chip away at her resolve.  

It is, after all, as she says much later in I Want To Believe, why she fell in love with him.  So it makes sense that in hindsight she often gave in to him like this because she secretly found his stubbornness equally as endearing as she found it exasperating. 

The Last Detail, starring Dana Scully!  Ha, back in the 90’s you could quote 70’s movie classics and you’d have half a hope in hell anyone knew what you were talking about, Mulder.  

So The Last Detail is a movie about a young naval officer being escorted across country to prison.  But before his two jailers take him there they decide that, since he will be going away for a long time, he should first get to enjoy what life has to offer.  The film stars Jack Nicholson so I think that voice Mulder puts on is his Nicholson impression.  Yikes.

So is Scully going to show Mulder what life has to offer before hauling him off to OPR?  WINK WINK.

Maybe that’s what Mulder was hoping for ey?  Although, for Mulder, the height of what life most has to offer is bumming around Wisconsin looking for downed UFOs.  Pfft.  Spoil sport.

What I also like about this exchange before they enter Mulder’s motel room, is the fact that not so long ago Mulder was completely at odds with Scully, but Mulder so easily lets their disagreements go and slips straight back into their comfortable bantering.

It’s like whenever he is with her, he is unconsciously trying to charm her - he seems to turn it on whenever they’re alone together - it’s that little bubble they have that we’ve talked about in the past; once they’re in there together they are in a world of their own.  While she is still clearly annoyed with him, he’s trying to entice her in to that bubble with a bit of casual flirting and she fights to hold on to her annoyance.

Course, the banter bus is forced to a sudden halt when Mulder and Scully realise someone has broken into and trashed his motel room.

Check out Mulder’s Ken doll pose.

I like how Mulder gets his quip in about how house keeping hasn’t been yet, but when Scully goes to say something in response, Mulder shushes her.  

Piss taker.

The way Mulder goes for his gun, forgetting he doesn’t have it anymore - because of course he doesn’t, Mulder losing his gun is like, his favourite thing to do after secretly staring at Scully.  His little head shake and her face fully communicating her thoughts on the matter.  You don’t need me to translate, just look at that face.

“Soooo um... do you think she’s still mad at me?”

Yes, Mulder.  Yes I do.

So the intruder turns out to be Max, and they drag him out of the bathroom so he can explain himself.

The best part of this conversation is when protective!Mulder body checks Max when he attempts to shake Scully’s hand.

Sit the fuck down, son.

It’s the only time Mulder becomes defensive in this whole scene, even though he’s just heard people have been spying on him for years, it’s only when Max makes a move towards Scully that Mulder gets visibly agitated.

Nobody touches bae, Max.  No touchie.

There’s an entertaining beat later in this conversation, when Max explains that he read Mulder’s Omni article on the Gulf Breeze UFO sightings.  Omni, interestingly enough, was a real magazine that was published in the 70′s through to the mid 90′s.  It contained articles on both science, science fiction and the paranormal.  Sounds right up Mulder’s passage.  What?

Mulder seems to be slightly embarrassed to have this revealed in front of Scully, as his eyes dart to her immediately and he stutters before responding.

That’s his ‘please don’t judge me’ face.

He already knows from The Jersey Devil that Scully thinks he has no life, and so to have his personal pursuits just openly revealed - that in his free time he writes articles for a paranormal magazine under an assumed name, no less.  Yeah, he doesn’t want Scully to pity his spartan existence any more than he thinks she already does.

Now I want to take a moment to dissect this phrase Max uses.  

“The enigmatic Agent Scully.”

Because where does Max get the notion that Scully is enigmatic?  Enigmatic, of course, meaning mysterious, indecipherable, puzzling etc.   Max says that he’s been following Mulder’s career – meaning following his cases – through viewing his travel expenses.  He would have been able to see where he was going, but not necessarily what he did when he was there.  So I wonder if these NICAP groups are actually spying on Mulder and Scully?  Do they go and hunt them down, look into what they’re investigating – observe them?  

It might then explain why Scully is described as enigmatic – these people, who are clearly believers like Mulder - would find Scully completely inscrutable.  A huge sceptic investigating the paranormal? Questioning her partner at every turn?  From their perspective Scully would seem a rather enigmatic figure.  An oddity. As Max himself says....

Perhaps these people were paying far more attention than Mulder realises.

While Mulder is clearly flattered by the attention, Scully finds it all rather tiresome.

Bless Max, he does not pick up on Scully’s unimpressed tone of voice whatsoever.

Mulder does though, and attempts to appeal to her own vanity.

 Although to be entirely precise, Max did say enigmatic agent Scully, so despite apparently having a photographic memory, Mulder couldn’t accurately remember what was said only 2 minutes ago.

Look at the smile on his face though, keep trying to reel her in, Mulder.  She’ll crack eventually!  Mulder seems quite tickled at the idea of Scully being described as enigmatic.  I think Mulder likes to think Scully is actually quite predictable, but she proves him wrong on that count several times as the series progresses.  She can certainly keep him guessing.

So Max then invites Mulder and Scully into his trailer home, and Mulder can barely contain himself.

I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to see Mulder so tickled by something, and the first thing he does is look down at Scully to share the moment with her.

She’s fighting not to smile, look at her face.  She still wants to be annoyed at him.  But he’s still chipping away at her resolve... chip, chip, chip.

This scene is quite heavily contrasted with Mulder’s first meeting with Max, where he was so dismissive of him.  It kind of shows how Mulder’s single-minded focus on seeking the truth can actually dehumanise him.  Because now he’s like a kid in the UFO candy store.  He’s charmed by the hokeyness of Max’s trailer; in fact, the manner of decor - the haphazardly placed belongings mixed with newspapers clippings, photographs and stacks of books - bears some resemblance to the ordered chaos of Mulder’s basement office at the FBI.

Later, in season 4′s Tempus Fugit, Scully will remark that Max and Mulder are kindred spirits in “a deep, strange way”.  That only the two of them could appreciate living like this - the nomadic, frugal life of a UFO hunter.  Singularly obsessed, pinning newspaper articles and blurry photographs to every blank surface available.

She didn’t know how right she was, did she.

And that’s the MSR angle here, because I genuinely believe that Mulder could have easily ended up like Max if he hadn’t met Scully.  In fact, we see in I Want To Believe how close Mulder is to the Max Fenig lifestyle.  Without Scully working by his side, and the FBI to channel his energy, he effectively turns into Max - a recluse who sifts through paranormal paraphernalia by the ton, looking for some kernel of truth to prove the existence of extraterrestrials to the world, all the while slowly disappearing into himself in the process.

We see in season 10 that his home office that once kept his obsession contained - away from the rest of the house - away from the rest of his life, has now expanded out into pretty much everywhere -  consuming everything, including his relationship with Scully.  

What that says to me is that he really needs Scully to keep him balanced, and that’s what we see the first glimmers of here, in Fallen Angel - a need for someone to balance his obsessive nature, his single-mindedness, his propensity for self-destruction.  

Oy... this got depressing.

So Max plays Mulder and Scully a recording he lifted from a police dispatcher radio transmission to a deputy who was the first to respond to the UFO crash - of course not knowing what it was he was dealing with.  It sounds like this deputy and a fire crew were attacked.  This spurs Mulder on, the look in his eyes as he turns to Scully tells her everything she needs to know - he’s not gonna let this one go.  

DUN! DUN! DUUUUUUN!

She’s equally surprised to hear what happened out there, and now Mulder has finally cracked her - she’s on board.  Even if she doesn’t believe the truth is “alieums!” she sees there is more going on here than meets the eye, and this is how these two work together so well.

Because even if they don’t agree on what is happening, they can still work together so long as they always share the core goal of finding the truth.

Now we are going to take a side step into Mulder’s Kitchen.  Pull up a seat, we’re gonna delve into some mythology stuff for a moment.

So, this episode is a mythology episode before the mythology even existed.  So some elements of this episode tally up with what we come to know later of the aliens, but then other things certainly do not.  For example, the alien here is clearly incredibly powerful, much more powerful than the aliens we will encounter later - it’s main abilities being that it can turn invisible and PASS THROUGH SOLID OBJECTS.  We don’t ever see that again - thank God!

The alien bounty hunters we see later are significantly nerfed - their greatest abilities are shape-shifting and super human strength.  So is this alien here something different?  

Something infinitely more interesting that this alien does do, is exhibit an ability which reappears in season 10.  It’s this high pitched squealing noise that causes damage through the auditory cortex in the brain.  

In season 10′s Founder’s Mutation, Dr. Augustus Goldman’s children that were experimented on with alien DNA are also able to exhibit this high pitched frequency which causes a very similar painful reaction.  It’s literally the same sound, but a different pitch.  Go compare them!

Towards the end of Fallen Angel, Max also hears this sound and he repeats over and over that he’s in pain, clutching at his ear that pours with blood.

Similarly, this ability the children have in Founder’s Mutation causes blood to pour from the ears, nose, mouth and eyes of Dr. Goldman.  

I have no idea if this is intentional or not, but it’s shockingly similar.  If it is intentional, then will we find that William has this strange ability too?  

But that’s getting away from Fallen Angel, and into season 11 speculation territory.. so moving on!

Mulder and Scully visit the hospital to find out what happened to the deputy and the fire crew, and as Scully chats with the Doctor in charge about radiation burns, we discover a fascinating factoid about Scully.

Forensic medicine, ay?  I mean, that’s not surprising at all, really, but still... GOOD TO KNOW!

Next we get a Mulder-Scully walk and talk.  Hospital corridor too, classic!

Mulder, stop looking at your hot partners lips and concentrate, man!

Mulder is actually positively buzzing; hearing that the deputy and fire crew had severe radiation burns.

Look at how closely they walk together too, they’re bumping shoulders the whole time.  Mulder really has no concept of personal space. 

I like this scene because it’s Mulder being as excited as a kid at Christmas, and Scully is throwing out an alternative explanation, but he just keeps coming back at her.  It’s a very familiar song and dance.

But this is what they do - Scully makes Mulder work for it, and completely opposite to what was intended, she ends up not debunking his work, but makes it stronger - actually gives it more weight, rather than less.

So what happens is that surprisingly, Scully doesn’t outright dismiss what Mulder is saying, but she is still relentlessly focused on keeping Mulder out of trouble, by getting him to the OPR hearing.

Mulder, however, remains pretty indifferent about it.  He listens to her, but he’s not really all that concerned.  He feels he is so close to catching a glimpse of something here, that he is willing to sacrifice even the X-Files to stick around and follow it through.  

But ultimately what he’s doing here is incredibly reckless because he hasn’t actually seen anything.  I mean, let’s go back and review.  All he’s seen is a mangled crash site which could have been anything - let’s be honest - and some emergency services personnel with reported radiation burns.  What it comes down to, is that he’s risking this mainly on the word of Deep Throat.

He needs Scully to remind him of what he needs to do – to think of the bigger picture.  But poor Scully is just ignored – again.  She’s trying really hard to save his ass, but seems intent on going down in flames.  

Ah I do love a good walk and talk though.  This is how I like my baby agents. Walking and talking and arguing and Mulder being a little bitch, and Scully exasperatedly trying and failing to get Mulder to see sense.  Ah good times!

It’s at this moment, Colonel Henderson arrives with several of his men suffering from more radiation burns.  GASP!  Mulder tries to reason with Henderson about hunting the alien down, but is thrown out of the hospital, while Scully - she’s a medical doctor don’tcha know - is asked to stick around and help treat the soldiers.

Mulder decides to return to his motel to look for Max - what an irony, the only one with the means to help him continue his search is the UFO wacko.

But Mulder arrives to find Max having an epileptic seizure.

And Mulder is a pretty sweet guy really, right?  Taking care of Max.  He’s pretty caring when he wants to be.

Holding him through his seizure...

...getting him a glass of water... even if Max looks terrified of glasses of water...

...and tucking him into bed.  

Naww… Mulder’s paternal instincts on display here.  

Oh...

Oh God.

I need a minute.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

So after playing daddy to Max, Mulder notices that Max has a scar behind his ear.  A rather grim looking scar, too.  Eugh.

Mulder has seen this before... in an X-File of course, because everything is in an X-File.

I have bad thoughts looking at those pianist fingers.  Seriously.  No more fanfic for me.

Mulder has clearly had these documents faxed over to him, but who exactly did that?  Who would he trust at the FBI to go through his files, not to mention the fact he’s currently up for disciplinary action right now, so who would OK these documents being sent?

Meh.

Who cares, we have got some hot glasses!Mulder action for you.  KAPOW!

SHAZAM!

Mmm, yes.  Ring Ring... It’s OPR here!  We’ve decided to drop all disciplinary action, Mulder.  Just be sure to wear those glasses from time to time and all is forgiven.  HNNNNGGG....  Ahem.

Scully arrives back from her voluntary stint at the hospital - I hope she got paid for that.  And she’s exhausted and dejected.  Mulder has his theories, but wants to know what Scully’s thoughts are.

Nice one.  Excellent theory there, Scully.  Well thought out; good reasoning.

I kid.  I kid.

I like this conversation, because for Mulder’s part, he’s showing that he values and respects her opinion, even when she hasn’t got one ha.  Even though Mulder is used to her going against him, he’s willing to hear it - he’s willing to be challenged, and that’s why their dynamic works for him, because he doesn’t take her stance personally.  He understands and values where she’s coming from, even when he doesn’t agree.

And the same goes for her, it’s why their dynamic works between them and them alone - because Scully listens to Mulder when most sane people wouldn’t, lets be honest.

But ever the guardian angel, Scully continues to remind Mulder to keep his eye on the ball. 

His trust in her is building, because even though he’s aware her primary goal is to get him back to D.C., he trusts her to tell him the truth when he asks her to do him a favour and examine Max’s scar.

In a demonstration of her integrity, and her loyalty to Mulder, when Scully asks...

and Mulder responds by being a fucking tease...

Scully agrees to examine Max, not based on any claim Max is making - Mulder points out that it’s not Max who thinks he’s an abductee.

She agrees to examine Max against her better judgement and only because Mulder asks her to. 

Nothing more than that.  Which is a pretty big deal.  “I do it all for you, Mulder.”

Unfortunately when they go to find Max, he’s missing and they overhear on his radio scanner that someone from Colonel Henderson’s patrol has spotted someone trespassing where they shouldn’t be.

Mulder and Scully both realise this must be Max.  

Scully realises first what this means though, that Mulder isn’t going to be catching that flight to D.C.   

The frustrated look on her face is the look of someone who knows exactly what’s about to happen... she knows this man well enough by now.  He’s not going to do anything he doesn’t want to do - but she will still try to fight him on it.  She isn’t going to give up that easily.

Mulder, on the other hand, looks at her with a face that says “I wholeheartedly concur Scully, lets go save Max!”

Wait, what?!

There’s a hint of desperation in Scully’s voice, she really is trying so hard to keep him out of trouble and protect their work - protect him.

He literally ignores every word she says though, and continues to obsessively pursue this lead.  I honestly think the only reason he stops and engages Scully, is because he can’t find the damn car keys.  I think if he had the keys and she didn’t get in the car, he would have just took off without her, because we all know he’s very capable of that.

But because he knows she has the keys, he takes a moment to explain his thinking.  

Mulder’s theory is basically that Max wasn’t chasing the UFO, that it was in fact the other way around.  The UFO was there for Max. 

I don’t think Scully believes Max is being abducted by aliens - we know she doesn’t believe in that; but what she does know is that she cannot stop Mulder when he’s like this; he’s going with or without her.  She knows trying to get through to him will only push him away, so she gives up trying to fight back.  

She really should have just clobbered him with one of their FBI issue torches and shipped the stupid fucker back to D.C. in a suitcase.

As it stands, her only course of action is to go with him - to try and stop him doing something he might later regret.  So reluctantly, she hands over the keys.

This is a dynamic that plays out again and again from this point onward.  Mulder bullheadedly wanting to plough on ahead regardless of the consequences to himself (and frankly to Scully too sometimes) and she trying desperately to pull him back, only to end up being swept along for the ride in the end.

This dynamic is usually balanced out by then Scully serving some pivotal role in being there – usually saving Mulder’s life.

But oddly, not this time.

They find Max who is babbling about the alieums coming to get him, but then Mulder bizarrely sends Scully outside.

His confidence in her ability to hold off a shadowy military clean up crew is sweet, but she had no chance.  

She’s grabbed immediately and Colonel Henderson completely ignores all of her protests.  

In the end, Scully being there this time served no purpose at all.

But then again, Mulder being there served no purpose either.  He wasn’t able to stop Max being abducted and he gets flung across the warehouse by the invisible alien for his trouble.

Mulder is lucky that this alien knows he’s one of the the main characters of this show and didn’t decide to irradiate him to death like every other human being it had encountered thus far.

When Mulder gets up, Max is being abducted, and Mulder cannot do anything to stop it.

The next thing we know, Max is gone and Mulder is left with nothing but his NICAP cap.

I got abducted by alieums and all I got was this lousy cap.

The next scene is of Mulder and Scully finally at the OPR hearing.  Somehow Scully managed to get him there on time, it seems.  This scene ultimately foreshadows what occurs at the end of season 1 which is the closure of the X-Files.

By rights, it should have happened here – it’s almost like Mulder knew someone would swoop in to save his ass, because he really didn’t give two shits about getting back in time.

We see at the very end of the episode that Section Chief McGrath is on the Syndicate books, and has been working to get rid of of Mulder.  

But is saved by Deep Throat. 

However, his motives are suddenly cast in shadow.  Is Deep Throat on Mulder’s side or not?  

What it does reveal is that, without Deep Throat, Mulder and Scully were doomed before they even stepped foot in the OPR hearing.

Scully, again, being the bastion of loyalty and integrity that she is, tries to defend Mulder until the very last.  Even when she’s denied permission to make a statement on Mulder’s behalf she does it anyway.  Or at least tries to.

She really doesn’t want their work together to end.  That’s my greatest take away from this episode.  That Scully wants to be out there with Mulder - and she’s willing to fight for it.  If she didn’t, then she could have just let this play out, but she fights and fights - until someone shuts her down - to stay by Mulder’s side and continue with him on the X-Files. 

You know what I said about Mulder’s charm earlier?  He turns it on for Scully, and he’s trying to be charming here - but it’s not working.

When Scully wishes Mulder luck, he banters about how he’s surprised he lasted this long.

This is probably the most touching scene between the two of them in the whole episode, because for the first time, Mulder acknowledges Scully’s feelings when he tells her not to worry.  He can see she’s feeling defeated and is concerned for him.

What I think he fails to realise is that she’s not just worried about him for his sake.  She doesn’t want to stop working with him too.

The look of utter defeat on her face when she thinks it’s over - it’s almost like she can’t look him in the eye because she thinks she’s failed him in there.

He keeps putting on the brave face though.  Trying not to worry her.  He looks so sickeningly vulnerable hobbling away on those crutches.  And this quip..

Ugh it just hits you in the heart, doesn’t it?!

Maybe he should have been fired here, then he could have asked her on a date because they’re not partners anymore and he’s out of the FBI.  Then they might have got married and had babies and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No, brain.  Stop.

Being serious now... because as disarmingly charming as Mulder is being, isn’t this all a little bit too casual for a man who is about to lose everything?

It’s actually in moments like these that we see how easily Mulder becomes his most reckless and self-destructive.  He wants to believe so badly, that all else falls to the wayside when someone dangles a tantalising piece of the whole in front of him.  His singular obsessive nature is so easily turned against him in this way.

Which is why he needs Scully to look out for him.

Mulder thinks he’s grasped something huge here, but we know that it’s merely a fragment of the whole, and those greater truths he will discover in the next 9 years would have been utterly lost to him if he didn’t have Scully there to keep him on the right path - keep him grounded. 

He seems to have all but given up hope of continuing on the X-Files in this scene.  Perhaps that was the reason for his casual attitude all along - he knew they would use this to get rid of him no matter what he did.

Perhaps he’s about ready to jump full blown into Max’s lifestyle – forget procedure and the FBI – that’s all just getting in the way. 

Mulder gives an incredible speech here which seems to point to that conclusion, in a way.   That the truth will out, regardless of the machinations of the FBI, whomever they serve and whether or not they fire him.  He will keep pursuing the truth.

Man, what a mic drop moment.

But if he had been sacked here, Scully would have been reassigned and he would have gone right down the rabbit hole without her.  See season 2.

Again, it’s incredibly fortuitous for Mulder that he met Scully.  She really did save him from a life of ridicule and obscurity, a life in his season 1 youth he might have embraced in some petulant act of defiance against the world.  But that ultimately only he would have suffered from... and Scully.

Mulder was, and always has been, walking a very fine line between obscurity and legitimacy… and while Mulder is indeed a brilliant man with an incredible mind – a beautiful mind as Scully would later describe it in The Sixth Extinction – he is constantly under attack, whether that be from his traumatic past, or the forces within and without the FBI that seek to turn him on himself or on those around him. 

In short, he could have very easily fallen off the edge if he had no one to hold him back. 

Scully truly is his guardian angel.

Next up... 1x11 - Eve.

[finalproblem]

Ye Olde TFP Reaction Poste

“A Gift to Friends and Hate-Readers Alike”

I promised I’d do this post this weekend, so I am. But fair warning that this is going to be much more about me than about the actual episode.

It will also be at least 2/3 longer than it should’ve been.

I think some people are assuming they know what my reaction to that episode was. That I’m really upset or hate the show now or something. But that’s not true. My primary feeling is exactly the one I said it was a week ago: I feel tired. I am tired.

To give a little bit of context, I decided pre-TFP sp0iler lockdown time was a good chance to update my About page. So I did.

I hadn’t looked at the page in a long time (hence the update), but here’s what it said at the top:

This is the blog I write about the BBC/PBS television drama Sherlock when I am half-asleep. (WHY IS THAT ALWAYS STILL TRUE EVERY TIME I UPDATE THIS PAGE?)

I realized that was still true. Yet again. Which is why it’s still on the page.

So to be perfectly, 100% clear, I was tired going into this thing.

And I knew it. Which is why I was really hopeful about the show finally wrapping some things up--or beginning to move toward wrapping things up--in episode 3 like the writers implied on multiple occasions.

I like it a lot here, and I don’t regret anything about having this as a hobby. But I do also have other skills and commitments and interests that I don’t discuss here since this is a single-topic blog. Plotlines maybe kinda sorta starting to get wrapped up felt like a great opportunity for some mental crop rotation, if you get what I mean.

That’s not to say I was going to pack it in and leave fandom. I wasn’t then, and I’m not now.

But, like... I’ve been here doing this on Tumblr for 5 years. I’ve had a few gaps, sure, but I’ve been more consistently posting about Sherlock and only Sherlock than just about anyone reading this during that time. (Don’t yell, I said almost anyone.) It’s healthy to change things up sometimes. Or to borrow a creepier turn of phrase... “If Tumblr fandom is a balance sheet--well, I believe I’m in credit!”

So I was ready to see the big “story we’ve been telling from the beginning. A story about to reach its climax” whatever-it-was and then take that opportunity to free up a little space in my brain attic.

And then I actually watched The Final Problem.

Did I hate the episode?

No.

But it takes a lot to get me to hate something fictional. (This is also covered on my About page.)

You know that saying, though? “The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.” It’s more like that.

TFP is a giant bowl of indifference stew for me.

And I say that while allowing--as I always, always have--that this story belongs to the writers and they get to do whatever they want with it. This is not the first, “well, that’s not how I would’ve done it” moment for me, either. If I ragequit every time that happened, I wouldn’t have even made it to The Great Game.

I also say that knowing full well many people LOVE the things I am indifferent to about this episode. And if you got just what you wanted here, I am genuinely happy for you! That’s great! That’s a rare thing in fandom life. Enjoy it. (Enjoy it the way I enjoy canon Holmes retiring alone with bees, which I think is fantastic and makes all the sense even though I’m aware almost everyone else here thinks it’s a terrible tragedy.)

But with those disclaimers in place, here is an incomplete list of stuff I am very, very indifferent to:

A secret third Holmes sibling

A single childhood trauma being the primary driver for a complex adult’s personality

Redbeard being anything other than a sweet doggy

Angst in general

Kids getting murdered

Whatever was being expressed about mental illness

Mind control

Random characters dying a whole lot so that main characters can avoid any real damage

Jim Moriarty secretly being anyone else’s pawn the whole time

Big solves coming out of info that was mostly hidden from the audience

Having Sherlock and John in 221B forever with nothing ever changing (I was ready for them to blow something up this series if they needed to, or barely escape blowing it up if they wanted to, but I didn’t expect the result to be “blow it up but put everything back exactly how it was.” I mean, I can appreciate the possible canon reference there to the magically non-harmful fire in the original story, but this ended up a little on the nose with the voiceover and everything.)

Horror movie format

The horror movie thing is probably the closest to an actual “nope” there. It may sound weird since I’m obviously cool with watching murder mysteries, but horror typically doesn’t sit well with me and that aspect alone will make it harder to rewatch the episode and therefore less fun. (Again, I only say this for me. Personally. There is nothing wrong with anyone else being into horror. You do you.)

I could maybe have talked myself into getting on board with the “oh, this is all about what Sherlock would’ve been like if he didn’t have a friend” analysis angle, but then I think about how Sherlock did have a friend and that friend was murdered and how Mycroft (allegedly) doesn’t have friends and is not murdering anyone (and in fact is less murdery than previously anticipated) and end up annoyed about how there’s no real control group and what a badly designed experiment this was. So that doesn’t really help.

It’s definitely not a shipping issue for me, because I don’t ship anything in this show and never have.

And it’s not really a characterization issue because I am a canon-reading Doylist and have long-since become used to not giving a crap about that. (The exception being if characterization is an intentional clue in a mystery, but we’ll come back to that eventually. Maybe.)

And it’s not really about my theories being wrong because--and I know, I KNOW this will sound like such an asshole thing to say, but there’s no way around saying it--technically they aren’t wrong yet. Sure, maybe specific theories I had about this episode that I came up with in the week before it were wrong, but not the ones I really care about that I’ve had for up to 5 years. I mean, you are totally free to interpret this episode as proving me completely wrong about everything. That’s fine. But, for example, saying “Jim recorded some video clips for Eurus” is not actually disproving my theory about what was going on with the “Miss me?” messages. They certainly seemed to want to lead viewers to assume that, but then why not just come out and say it if that’s the answer? Why be coy? (Especially when they’ve left contradicting clues in other episodes of this very series.)

This is where we get to the true heart of the matter. And the part where it becomes even more relevant that I’m tired.

Because they’ve done this to me before. Magically skipped through and managed to neither prove nor disprove any of the theories I’ve been waiting for resolution on. So on the one hand, I probably shouldn’t be surprised.

Which makes it all the more exhausting that the honest truth is...

Deep down...

I still think they’re going somewhere with this.

AND I GET IT, now a bunch of you are looking at me like I’m

Zoidberg: Amy, take off these rubber bands and I'll show you how normal I am! Amy: Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times, shame on me.

Which is probably fair enough, because that’s how I feel, too.

But the rarely-pure-and-never-simple truth is I think there’s more to all of this plotwise than it seemed like there was. The same pieces of the mystery I cared about are still open. It’s not so much that I hope that’s the case, because again--I was really and truly looking forward to the freedom that would come from being either definitively right or wrong.

The reason I nicknamed this episode The Patience Grenade is because that’s how it felt. Like they were trying to blow up my patience.

Wait for answers? Don’t get answers. But get just enough hints that you walk away believing there still might be answers coming. At some indefinite point in the future. If the show even continues. Which no one is promising it will.

Meanwhile, the entire episode will be themed around the idea that if someone has you trapped in a twisted game, the best option is to refuse to play.

Tick tick tick tick... BOOM.

(It also doesn’t help that I usually adopt the final featured pop song of each series as a theme song to put on loop while I write up theories and such, and this time the one they chose starts with the lyrics: “I want to break free / I want to break free / I want to break free from your lies / You're so self satisfied I don't need you / I've got to break free / God knows, God knows I want to break free.” SALT IN THE WOUND, MUCH?)

If this was back when I just watched the show and didn’t talk to anyone about it, it would be one thing. But now I do talk about it? Almost every day? And short of deciding to storm out of here, which again is not my plan or goal... How do I get through the next few weeks or months or years?

I’m not going to lie and say I loved the last episode.

But I’m also not going to lie and say I think all semblance of plot is irretrievably off the rails or that the writers are just bashing randomly on a keyboard to come up with this.

And the one specific theory I’m most interested in post-TFP is... um... Short of some kind of hail mary play from the writers in the near future that gets rid of the “oh no, there are no more loose ends” business and starts other fans thinking in the same direction as me, it’s one that I know is going to sound kind of unhinged in a way that’s beyond anything I’ve posted before just because of its nature.

Which leaves me in a really awkward place, fandom-wise.

Because now I get to be looked at as the person who is being negative about the show AND SIMULTANEOUSLY as the person who is naively believing the writers aren’t totally clueless or stringing us along with no goal in sight AS WELL AS the person who even a lot of the remaining theory-type-people are likely to think is chasing ghosts. So basically there is nothing I can do that won’t have some camp rolling their eyes at me. (Unless I want to only post Hudders gifs from now on. Which, believe me, is tempting. But there still aren’t quite enough of them to pull it off.)

I guess my answer is to follow the same advice I’d give to someone else--it’s my blog and my hobby. I should do what entertains me.

Which, for the record, will be pretty much the same thing as always. If you find anything that I do on this blog in the near future a radical departure, the fact is you probably haven’t looked back far enough in my blog archives to understand how I work.

1) I will acknowledge plot holes and inconsistencies and  poke some fun and indulge in some fandom crack posts.

This is not hating the show or attacking the writers. You can certainly decide it’s not the kind of thing you want to see on your dash and unfollow me. But from my side, it’s all in the spirit of believing the writers are actually building to something and trying to figure out what that something is. Plus, for the record, I poke fun at ACD canon even though I love it. As do Sherlock’s writers. It’s okay to be a fan of something in ways other than writing essays about how great every aspect of it is.

2) I will post theories, and just try not to worry too much if they sound kind of out there. (Which they will this time. They will.)

Theories are how I have fun with this show. And if you read or write fanfiction (like most of the fans on this site) but somehow feel it’s worthwhile to scoff at a theory I write up and point out that you think I’m wasting my time... Maybe stop first and think about why one interpretive/transformative fan activity that entertains me is a bigger waste of time than the interpretive/transformative fan activity you prefer. Because it doesn’t freaking matter, y’all. This is my designated hobby time, and writing up a fan theory--even one you think is super-duper-wrong--isn’t changing anything about how much I am or am not trying to do worthwhile things or save the world with the rest of my time. I simply have a marginally different hobby than you do.

And just to make one little adjustment because it was coming anyway...

3) I’m not going to rush.

If they can patience-grenade me and not guarantee anything will ever be resolved beyond this episode, I get to let myself take my sweet time getting my ideas out of my head this go-round. I have fun with this stuff, but I’ve got a lot of other stuff in my life that needs to be attended to soon. (And some of it’s actually more fun.)

Remember The Empty Hearse? That was a tiring time. Sherlock “explained” how he survived the fall, but a small handful of us were like... “No, that actually makes no sense?” We slowly made our case, and by a few weeks ago, it was probably more common than not for someone I bumped into in fandom space to be on board and believe that we still hadn’t seen the true fall solution. (Though I do expect those numbers to readjust again now that the writers are claiming everything’s all wrapped up, the end.)

To me, The Final Problem feels most like The Empty Hearse. Only I know it’s going to be waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy more of a tiring slog to change anybody else’s mind about what happened there. Or at least to get anyone on the same page as me since I’ll be living in my own little rapidly-shrinking theory bubble. Luckily, my primary goal is to entertain myself rather than convince others, but even figuring out where I stand now that the show has dumped in memory-inhibiting drugs and mind control at the last minute is going to be more of a slog than usual.

So slog it I will, but I’m not going to hurry. Or even promise to make sense for a good long time. If ever. I’m not going anywhere just yet, but I’m not signing up to make myself more tired either.

If you’re cool with all that, we carry on as always.

If not, then you know what to do.

xoxo