#organic food flavourings

[ambeorganic98]

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[ambenatural90]

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[ambenatural]

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[somewhereincairparavel]

࿐°♥ Dates with the Hoo boys! ࿐°♥

♥ Jason Grace ♥- would love restaurant dates and picnic dates. Anything that involves food. Camp Jupiter had never really allowed Jason to 'devour' meals because "he had to maintain his body" and he mostly had to eat extremely organic/healthy stuff. So sometimes he likes to go crazy on nice food to fill the void that has left him all these years. He'd also LOVE vacation dates like boating in Venice and all that cool stuff. According to him, life's way too short to not travel the world. Dates with him would be so calm and chaos free because he has everything planned so well :( he wants your dates to be perfect and doesn't want you to get stressed with the packing/planning. One thing about Jason though is that he's a worrywart, so he'd always be stressing out about the airplane schedules and when it would depart and stuff lol but love to be cheesy like kisses you whenever there's a fancy fountain in the name of being 'romantic' 🥹💝 also buys you souvenirs and cute lil stuff. Also, museum dates, he's a history nerd!!

⟢ Leo Valdez ⟢ cooking dates!! Or amusement park dates, but Leo, as social as he is, prefers staying at the comfort of home because he's gone through so many foster homes. He loves cooking Mexican food and loves to use you as a taste test participant haha, if he's feeling energetic then he'll probably go to a carnival with you, trying out all flavours of cotton candy, all the rides, and would even do cute shit like win you a plushie from the games :(( he would be dedicated! Also he loves celebrating latina holidays with you, if you aren't latina, he would love to teach you about the festivals and the cultural practices and stuff! He's a very proud man of his culture

𓇼Percy Jackson𓇼 - as opposed to the fandom's popular opinion, i personally think Percy would hate aquarium dates. He would hate aquariums in general tbh. They're basically just tanks with sea creatures confined in them, Percy hates that canonically, doesn't he? Anyways, I'd say Percy loves the arcade/movies, and for some reason he's definitely a skater boy, so he'll talk you to skate park dates where he teaches you how to skate, so cute!! So far he gives off the most "american teenage boy" vibes. Just youthful and cheerful dates. You guys eat blue popcorn while watching romcoms and sitcoms together, skate at night where New York is just bustling with city lights, also baking dates!! You both have a competition on who makes better blue food and Sally is the judge ahh

𓃰 Frank Zhang 𓃰 - hiking dates and camping dates! Frank is definitely pro! wilderness (duh) so he loves the outdoors, also hiking is super fun with him because he can change into whatever animal he wants and takes you on cool rides as a big swamp lizard or a crocodile lol roasting marshmallows with him while telling him scary stories>>>. Frank and you have a huge picnic in the middle of a forest, and you both sleep in the same tent, cuddling <33

[ao3commentoftheday]

I love witty banter and low-stakes, meaningless arguing in fics and in a pitch to get more of that out there, I present to you

which hill would they die* on?

How do you pronounce gif?

Should the end of the toilet paper be on top of the roll or hanging below the roll? (or should the toilet paper just be on the counter within reach)

Who would win in a fight [insert relevant gods or superheroes etc here]?

Which pizza is better/worse: New York style, Chicago style, Detroit style? [or whatever regional match ups make sense in-universe]

Which would you rather watch: Star Wars vs Star Trek vs Stargate vs Battlestar Galactica?

Which breakfast food is best: waffles, pancakes, crepes, french toast?

Which fast food restaurant has the best fries?

Which is the best flavour of potato chip?

Do you sleep with socks on?

Should you sleep with the window open or closed?

What temperature/weather is too hot/cold and which is perfect?

Does wearing glasses make someone look more or less attractive?

[Insert controversial food choice] is delicious, actually.

Which is worse: washing the dishes or drying them or putting them away?

Which is the best way to organize books on a shelf: alphabetically by author's name, alphabetically by book title, by colour, by size, by genre, or some combination of these?

*metaphorically speaking - unless you feel like going pretty hard on these

[lets-try-some-writing]

Absolutely adore seeing all the bits of writing on the bots reactions to the kiddos 🤣 Fr makes my day, just scrolling though feed and BOom your writing! So I randomly thought of the kids doing barbecues or picnics and sharing all their grubby food like Oo try this and maybe not as it’s spicy. What I mean is I’m sure the bots wouldn’t understand how human food can have so many flavours.

Glad to brighten someone's day! I am honestly startled by how enthusiastic people are about TFP bots reacting to things. I haven't gotten this many notes in like, three months. Its crazy.

Anyway, lets roll with this.

Cybertronians do have a degree of flavoring involved in their fuel. However due to the nature of energon, there is only so much flavoring that can be added before it loses its nutritional value, turns into high grade, or explodes in some fantastic display. Not to mention their ability to taste is severely limited, partially due to the simple fact that their sensory systems are more focused on external stimuli or processor function. In fact, most Cybertronians can hardly taste, if they have an intake at all. It simply isn't part of their biology. They have no need for it. Of course some get modifications in order to have a wider range of taste, and some are forged with heightened senses, but as a general rule most do not have the ability to note much.

At most they can read sweetness, bitterness, and anything that is metallic in nature. But spiciness, savory flavors, and most of the finer flavors humans experience are simply out of their range. Fueling can be enjoyable, but for most of their kind, it is merely a way to keep on going. But humanity? They eat for FUN, and that is odder than the team expected it to be.

Watching the children swap food around for the sake of flavor is... strange to the team. Seeing Miko give up what they can tell is vegetation that is highly nutritious to humans for a bag of chips soaked in all sorts of chemicals left most of them in a state of confusion. Jack offered up a sandwich, the arguably healthier dish, for a handful of gummies. Rafael passed over some sort of meat in exchange for Miko's rice. The exchange of nutrition was not orderly or equal in any way or form. Then sometimes the children would just eat each other's food without regard for the nutritional value.

The team couldn't understand it. Sure Cybertronians would trade fuel at times, but rarely was nutrition a concern. Humans swapping fuel left and right was just a tad strange. Not incomprehensible, but strange nonetheless.

Smokescreen has tried to eat human good once just to see if he could taste it. He could not taste much at all and ended up purging for the next day due to the food not going well in his tanks. Bulkhead also made an attempt once when Miko offered him food. He was stuck with cheeto dust in the grooves of his jaw for almost a week before he gave in and went to the washracks to handle it. Wheeljack made direct optic contact with Ultra Magnus and purposefully ate an apple that was offered to him, just to watch the commander squirm of course. He had to purge it all up an hour later, but watching the reactions of those around him made it worth it.

Ultra Magnus was tricked into eating human food when it was put into his energon once (by a certain wrecker). Magnus tried to hold it together, but ultimately he too ended up needing to purge. Ratchet has given the "do not eat organic fuel" speech far too many times to be happy about it.

[slushpuppi]

SHINING LIKE GUNMETAL

Patrick bateman x reader smut

Warnings: deepthroating, Patrick is nice, um um he drives too.., maybe gagging, assistant! Reader x BOSS! Patrick.

A/n: lol wrote this in like 30 minutes..

-

Patrick bateman. The richest guy you have worked for. He decided to hire you to organize all of his paperwork and to clean his office. You didnt know what he seen in you. And you wanted to know what he did see in you for him to hire you. Who knew Patrick bateman had his sights set on taking his assistant out.

Patrick knew that if he wanted to impress you, he would have to take you to the most exclusive restaurant in the city. Because he wanted you to know that you are working with the best of the best. So, he made reservations at a fancy five-star French restaurant called "Le Chateau."

On the night of their date, Patrick arrived at your doorstep with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, and you couldn't help but gasp at how handsome he looked in his suit. As you both made your way to the restaurant, you couldn't help but feel excited and nervous at the same time. You had never been to such a fancy restaurant before.

When you and patrick arrived, you both were greeted by a maître d' who showed yall to your table, which was decorated with fresh flowers and candlelight. The menus were presented to them on silver trays, and Patrick insisted on ordering the finest champagne to celebrate the occasion.

Throughout the meal, Patrick regaled you with stories of his travels and adventures, making you laugh and feel at ease. The food was exquisite, and yall shared each other's plates, trying bites of each other's food and commenting on the flavours.

As they finished their meal, Patrick leaned over and took your hand. "I have to say, this has been the most perfect night I've ever had," he said, gazing into your eyes. "I'm so glad I got to share it with you."

You couldn't help but smile, feeling grateful that Patrick had taken the time to plan such a special evening for her. As they got up to leave, you knew that you had had one of the most romantic nights of your life. And so, the two of you left the restaurant, holding hands and smiling from ear to ear, knowing that yall had shared a truly magical experience.

He decided to end this special night the both of you just had that he would drive you home. "Patrick. I can pay you back if you want. I feel horrible about you ordering and buying everything for me." You looked over at him. And seen how he was gripping the wheel.

"Don't. You deserve it. You deserve to be spoiled y/n."

He said leaning over and giving you a kiss on your lips. "Please. Let me pay you back. It doesn't have to be in money. I can do anything you want me to. Please." You begged, looking at how he looked over at you. "I said the meal is free."

"please?"

"Fine. "

he said , pulling the car over on the side of the road. He unbutton and pulled his pants down. Along with his boxers. Pulling his cock out. "Suck. " You nodded, unbecoming your seat belt and leaning over. You began with the tip, sucking on it and swirling your tounge arouncuts.

You lowered your head more, taking more of his girth down your throat. "FUCKKKK!!" He yells gripping your hair , guiding your mouth on his dick. He doesn't care if you gag. Your moans stimulate him, and by the time you deepthroat him again he cums.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Duff 17

Warnings: groping, insecurity, food and body issues, manipulation, and the usual. Proceed with caution.

Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far. ♥♥♥♥

Image credit (I want to give dues where due but don’t want the creator to keep getting tagged in my posts as I have been approached by some before that they don’t want me in their notifs)

You get up to your apartment and lock the door, double checking before you can bring yourself to step away. Finally a chance to breathe, but you can’t.

You go to the counter, plopping your bag on top as you try to gulp down air. The roll and clatter of some unseen object can’t break through your panic.

What the fuck? What the fucking fuck!?

You don’t get it. Curtis, Andy, all of it. One big clusterfuck with no escape. Some weirdo you got stuck with in the club is not your personal pest and your own boss can’t take a hint.

Since when did you become some hot commodity? How could you take for granted all those years of being overlooked? You’d give anything to never be seen again.

You clumsily reach for your bag and fish out your phone. You can barely grip it as your breaths remain shallow and your hands tremble. You pull up your chat with Stephanie and text her; then Isla, then Mindy. You need someone.

You stare at the empty checkmarks. You’ll be lucky if you get a response before the morning. Some friends. 

All your anger and resent boils up until you’re crying again. You were always the odd one out, the third wheel, always left with the scraps and now look what it got you. You blame them. For exiling you to the status of DUFF. For not giving a goddamn shit. Not one of them checked in after that night at the club.

You could throw your phone. Instead you swipe away the more than twenty messages piled up in your notification bar. All from the same person. Curtis is insane, you know that much. You should’ve seen it sooner. You should’ve let yourself see it sooner but you really thought you’d met a decent guy. The first guy to actually see you, but not he’s way too focused on you.

You feel helpless, trapped. You don’t know what to do. You can’t even hide at work with your desperate boss hovering like a shark. How did you not see that either? Well, you wouldn’t expect it. You’ve worked for Andy for almost a year and he’s never tried anything. 

Maybe it’s you. Maybe you’re sending all the wrong signals. Well, you don’t even know what kind of signals to send. When you want someone to leave you alone, they bother you, and when you’ve only ever wanted a bit of attention, you were castigated.

You give up. You get a hold of yourself and count until your heartbeat evens out. You plug your phone into the charger and pick up the half-empty bottle of mint-flavoured sparkling water from the floor. You place it back on the counter and drag your feet across the unlit living room.

You’ll call in, take a day to recover. Maybe one of the girls will finally answer their messages and you can get some ideas from them. One thing for sure, you’re locking yourself up in this place and not going anywhere.

You go into the bathroom, flicking on the light. You look in the mirror and sigh. Are you really the type to drive men mad?

You rinse your face and brush your teeth. You go through the motions, hoping routine can comfort you. It hardly does.

You enter the bedroom and flip off the bathroom light. You walk through the dark. You're too drained to turn on the lamp as you approached the bed.

You strip down to your underwear and pull on the tee shirt you left rumpled up by your pillow. You nestle under the covers and resist another wave of tears. You feel lost. You don’t know which way to go.

You squeeze your eyes shut and pray for sleep. You just need to forget everything. You just need a break. You–

You don’t drink sparkling water. You sit up and hold a cramped breath in your chest. That bottle. Mint? What kind of psycho buys organic mint water?

Your heart hammers. Your phone is out in the kitchen. Shit. 

You get up slowly and listen to the silence of your apartment. You creep towards the door, your footsteps light but scuffing over the carpet and onto the hardwood. You pause just in the doorway as you try to see through the dark into the front room.

You hear the slow roll of the closet door folding back too late. In a moment, you’re wrenched off your feet. You flail and kick, your voice muffled beneath the rough palm as you claw blindly at the figure behind you. His low hush warms the shell of your ear.

“It’s okay, bunny,” Curtis grits softly, “I’m going to take care of you.”

He keeps his hand over your mouth, snug against your nose, blocking all air. Your eyes bulge as you fight to breathe and his thick arm comes up around your neck, squeezing enough to make you dizzy.

"I know you love me. Let me show you how much I can love you..." He rasps.

The world speckles around you, the distant noise of the city pulsing until silent, your eyelids closing against your will, casting you into horrifying black.

[lexluvswriting]

ꔫ L'autunno.

ꔫ Ch: 4 [last page] [next page]

-> Pairing: Eris x ballet dancer!fem!reader.

-> (CW): x fem!reader (she/her), slow-burn, rivals to lovers, tinkle of angst on occasion, fluff, non-specified identity Summer Court!reader, regarding canon ACOTAR time: after defeat of Hybern. things get get cheeky... teehee.

-> (TW): Allusions to domestic violence/abuse (L.O.A + Beron), eris has trauma flashbacks, sexual tension? maybe? someone read it and tell me pls. eris practically pining for reader but simultaneously pissing her off, reader x eris finally kiss, raahh!!

W/C: 3.5k

╰┈➤ Lex's note: UHM... guys... please ignore that i last posted in April or something... double degrees are not for the weak 😔✊OOH! ALSO: you two share a kiss- :O -and reader likes it >:D did I pull an all-nighter for this chapter, AND almost finish up to chapter six in one night? ... yes. do i also have an important exam in 5 hours? ... also yes. i couldn't help myself- I missed writing, okay?! anyway, pls pls pls, don't be afraid to comment & let me know what you liked, disliked or loved!!

You had both sat on the ledge of the ampitheatre, taking in the peaceful quiet, enjoying the nature that surrounded you both before you huffed softly at how ‘casual’ the setting was. A pretty patterned rug was laid out to be sat on, with porcelain cups, dishes, and all sorts of rich, fancy-fae delicacies: tea cakes of different shapes, flavours and colours; neatly cut sandwiches with different pastes, spices and fillings.

“Where’s your little throne?”

You nodded, not waiting for him before picking a sandwich to take a bite of- your stomach fluttering when you didn’t taste poison, but rather a delightful taste combination. He grinned slyly and clicked his tongue, feigning disappointment as he poured you and himself tea that smelt like bergamot and honey.

“Would have been too big for my servants to winnow, I’m afraid.”

His tone was airy and snobbish- as if he had read your mind, thus playing along to the tune of your harsh assumptions- so you rolled your eyes, food pushed into the side of your mouth to mumble out, “Figured you would have used some of them as footstools and makeshift seats instead.”

Eris huffed, before thinking over the weight of your snark which drew a chuckle that dissolved into a soft laugh of disbelief. You ignored the way the sound made your insides flutter- or perhaps that was just organ failure. He looked at you incredulously, shaking his auburn covered head as he filled your plate, then his.

“Is that what you truly think of me?”

You continued to chew, your face expressive enough to fill the silence, which made him chuckle more.

“I certainly have underestimated you, little swan,” You grumbled at the ‘feigned’ endearment, but it didn’t deter him, “You are not merely a pretty face at all. You also possess a delightful, deadly fire. Now, whether it makes you stupidly brave, or bravely stupid, I’m not sure. Even worse, I’m not sure if that intrigues me, or irritates me.” He hummed, and it seemed to stoke ‘said fire’ within you- your own pride being stroked, so you gave him a bemused half-smirk,

“Why not both?”

He raised an eyebrow at your rather coy tone, and you almost thought you liked that ‘slightly startled, slightly intrigued’ look he wore, before you remembered what he was- who he was- and looked away disinterestedly. But you knew him; or at least, knew he was trained in the arts of charming females as if it was as easy as breathing. Something in your gut told you he liked those that played ‘hard-to-get’ and the feelings that festered and stewed made you confused. Again, as if he was reading your mind, he answered accordingly:

“Almost sounds like you’re flirting with me, darling.” His serve. So the match starts.

A scoff, accompanied by a simple shake of your head. “Spare me. Just how exactly have you made it this far in life, lordling?” A simple hit back into his court.

“Is that admiration I hear?” A lazy return.

“You wish it was.” Shaking your head as you sipped the sweet, citrusy tea he poured. A back-hand swing with a bit of force.

“I do, actually. If it means you’ll stop being so shrewd.” Parried back wonderfully, much to your dismay.

“Is this how you usually find ladies to court? By acting like an arse.” You ask flatly, and he pauses. Victory.

You smirk, glancing down at the tea cup, before the silence goes on for too long. Your lips tug into a frown, but you don’t look up. Is he angry? Something tugs at your stomach, then your chest, and you finally look back up at him, only to catch him staring at you with an expression you didn’t recognise. You straightened- almost angry at yourself for feeling nervous. But you didn’t know him. Didn’t know his moods, his temperaments. Didn’t know what he did in his spare time.

The lordling seemed to sense your fidgeting and looked away; out towards the view of the sprawling Autumn colours that dotted the trees on the horizon.

“... So… what brought you to the Autumn Court?”

You blinked up at him, raising an eyebrow, before remembering you had told him you weren’t from here.

“Apparently, as a baby, I was dropped off at an orphanage near the place I live now, with some sort of Summer Court emblem and a scarf. However, I’ve got no ties, no leads to any family that I know of, and I haven’t sought them out either.” He watched you as you spoke, and before you could comment or add more, he beat you to it.

“How miserable.”

You flinched before stilling, blinking repeatedly at him. How… miserable?

Disbelief contorted your face as you looked at him like he had grown three heads. Did he just-?

Eris simply watched you, tilting his head slightly, his russet eyes meeting yours in a stare that wasn’t hostile; rather, it was him trying to figure you out like some sort of puzzle. However, his random response had caught you off guard, making you chuckle softly, before you covered your mouth quickly, only to hold your head in your hands as you began to genuinely laugh.

“Have I misspoke?”

You laughed more at his polite yet confused tone, shaking your head as you tried to control yourself, only to laugh more, which spurred a few chuckles from the male sitting across from you.

“Hold on- I only meant it in the sense that-”

“No, no!” You forced out as you gasped for air, trying to reign in your amusement as you watched him watch you again, with him seeming oddly… content with how you laughed at him.

“I… I get it. Honestly, Eris- Sorry… ‘Lord’ Eris-” He rolled his eyes, waving a hand as you continued,

“How in the Cauldron did you make it this far in life?” You chuckled again, while he flashed a strangely sweet, cheeky smile. It was almost endearing. Almost.

“Would you believe me if I said ‘through uncanny wit and dazzling charm?’” His dryness made you snicker, before a small smile grew on your face. He hummed as you did so, looking down at his hand while you caught yourself staring again; both of you sitting in the silence as you briefly self-reflected. Why was he being funny? Why could he make you laugh simply… simply by being himself?Why was it so easy to get lost in staring at him? You continued to watch him- not knowing how intensely your eyes twinkled, nor the way it made his blood heat in a way that surprised him. Yet, he caught you, finally.

“[Y/N] darling, if you keep staring at me like that, it might put ideas in my head.” He mused, and you jerked your head away instantly, hearing him snicker as you rolled your eyes.

“Why won’t you let yourself enjoy today, little swan?” He teased, but your response wasn’t as light.

“If I do, it will mean that I am as easy, and as useless as all the others that you manage to bewitch. I simply won’t let that happen.” You replied hollowly, a small part of you not even believing your own answer. Eris sucked his tooth, watching you with a nod as if you had said something truly confounding, before he clicked his tongue and stood up.

“Alright. Let’s walk.” Eris nodded at you, before offering a hand with a sly smile, waiting for you to move. You blinked up at him, raising an eyebrow before deciding to take his hand- unlike the carriage, where he practically lifted you like it was nothing- pulling yourself up.

What the hell would a walk do?

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

“Tell me honestly, swan. Why do you dislike me- not my family- but me, so heavily?” Eris encouraged the dancer to speak freely as you both walked down the hill. He noticed the way your eyes avoided his, instead mapping out all the different shades of brown, orange and red leaves. He watched you shrug, and internally pulled at his hair. What had you so reserved?

He wanted to say something- taunt you, tease you, even trick you into speaking- but when you hesitated, looking at the ground for an answer that wouldn’t be so easily given, he shut up immediately. It was only when you tried to avoid the question that something triggered within him to reach for and grab your arm; grabbing gently, merely to pull you back to where he had stopped walking.

“Hey-” You had snapped, baring your teeth before pulling your arm away, the action making his heart race as you did so. How wonderful- when your eyes gleamed the way they did. Did you even know how beautiful you looked? When you looked at him like you wanted to throttle him? Or, what about when you had laughed so freely before, and his brain had completely blanked?

Eris sighed wistfully, determined to crack the nut that was your eccentric, explosive enigma of a mind. 

“When you do things like that- acting like you just have some claim on me- I don’t like it.So when you do it often, or other things I don’t like, it makes it easier to dislike you.” You spoke succinctly, and he couldn’t argue with that. At least you answered him. Yet Eris watched you anyway, hoping you’d continue. When he stayed silent, he realised his staring made you nervous as you wiped your hands on your dress, delicate hands grabbing at the fabric to fidget as you pushed yourself to answer his initial question.

He willed his expression to be neutral as you began to speak- the words spilling from your lip like a fast flowing river. But his restraint was in vain- before he knew it, he was absolutely entranced by your thoughts and ideas. The way you spoke about your studies- the passion, the assertiveness you carried as you listed the criticisms your ‘surrogate mother Ordelia’ had helped you draft in an assignment; an ‘unsent response’ to his father’s unfair increase of land tax, and the random raids or ‘removals’ that always seemed to happen towards the end of the day, targeting certain fae of non-native identities. He had to remind himself to meet with this fae. She sounded like quite the female.

You had told Eris about the families that were getting displaced- how people were terrified to leave their homes because of these new restrictions- and his brain spun like a spinning top. You dared compare Beron’s treatment to the tyrant of a female that had held Prythian hostage for almost fifty years prior, and his nostrils flared, but he stayed silent. Did you realise what you were saying? How brave, how brilliant- how possibly stupid it was? Being so bold saying these ideas so freely? He almost felt liberated from the confines of his own mind- where, for too long, he had been too afraid to dare bring light to these thoughts of his own.

Eris didn’t dare stop you, so you continued, even scolding Eris himself on his ‘petty blackmail’ of your ballet instructor- he decided there and then that he wanted you to criticise and chastise him like that all the time- advocating for the old studio, and the children who used it to escape poverty in their own villages, in their own homes. Unbeknownst to you, the heir seemed to fall more and more in love with every word you said. He figured it would probably be his demise if he were to compliment you on your ideas- you seemed to treat anything he said as a callous taunt, or cruel mockery. But the heir couldn’t help himself as he exhaled softly.

“Brilliant.”

He nodded, watching you intensely, before shaking his head with a scoff, looking away.

“Ballerinas are doing politics now,” And you’re somehow doing them in the way he had always dreamed of, “What a world we live in.” He would have happily sung your praises from the treetops. He was prepared to present your ideas- your works to his father and call him out on his tirade. So why was it that, when he looked back at you, you looked up at him with a mixture of hurt and disappointment?

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

“You weren’t listening to a single word, were you?” The disappointment in your voice was almost laughable. You felt bitterness coat your tongue like film as you observed the heir. There it was. That feigned incredulity, the false intrigue and interest. In his eyes, like so many other males, all you’d ever be recognised as was just a pretty little ballerina. A pretty female, with pretty eyes, hips for child-rearing, and a figure that was easy on the eyes.

“[Y/N]... You- you have just recited every single measure I have ever wanted to implement.” He had stopped walking to watch your disappointment manifest, and he shook his head again, reaching for you before hesitating as you whipped back to glare at him. Well… at least he listened to one thing.

“I don’t need your pity, lordling.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say!”

“Oh, boohoo!” You snapped, glaring up at the heir, “I know what you see in me- what your ‘expectations’ are. You want me to sit still and be pretty while I have to be subjected to this- this stupid ball with all these rich, ignorant nobles who-”

“Who couldn’t give a damn about the people who starve right outside their doors, right?” He finished your sentence- he cut you off, and you paused.

“Are you mocking me?”

“No, [Y/N]. I know what you’re thinking. I’ve thought the exact same- down to the letter, every damned day.” He grabbed you, and your eyes narrowed, ready to warn him off you when he interjected again.

“Just- listen.” He snapped, and your mouth shut, even as you glared daggers up at him, “Do you know how exhausting it is, having to carry the burdens of that bastard?” Your eyes widened.

Was this real? Where the Hell had this come from? You opened your mouth, but he put his hand over it,

“Just wait before you spit in my face, stubborn thing.” He hissed, before continuing,

“We are… The Vanserra family… it is not glorious, and- and luxurious, and absolutely ignorant.” He was hardly fluent, hesitating and restarting the sentence. It felt wrong, unnerving. This was not the pompous, cocky, ‘typical’ arrogant noble who had half of the Autumn Court’s female population vying for him. This wasn’t the smug, dominant asshole who had watched you dance, and snidely spoke to you in the hallway of your ballet studio.

No.

This was the male- the son- who had snarled at you in the carriage when you tried to slander the Lady of the Autumn Court. There- you saw it again- that vulnerability, that hollowness that hid behind his eyes every time he stood next to his father; whether it was during royal festivals or important ceremonies. The oldest Vanserra son had gone- gotten trapped in a memory; somewhere dark, somewhere hostile and hurtful. So you decided there and then, regardless of the dislike you held for him, that you’d  hold him and wait.

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

Sounds of fists landing hits, a cacophony of muffled crashing and banging came from behind the closed door that Eris waited at tearfully- willing his child self to march in there and defend his mother, only to be completely stuck; paralysed by fear.

Warmth came from somewhere, somewhere distant, and there was the dull echo of a voice that made his chest tighten.

--- ⋆⁺₊✧˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☾⋆⁺₊✧⋆ ---

You watched him grow distant, his eyes losing their usual gleam- not that you cared to notice, as you’d easily deny. Something made your hands move on their own, pulling his hand off your mouth so you could grab them in yours, watching him with emotions that made your stomach knot and shrivel.

“Eris?”

You called again, and he jerked- the abrupt movement making you flinch while the heir exhaled shakily. As he looked back down at you, he saw the way you held his hands, initiating contact. When he moved, you followed his gaze, unsure why you were still holding onto him. You did that, all of your own accord. You did it, yet you weren’t sure why.

Eris swallowed thickly- you even watched the way his throat bobbed, before his hands slowly, shakily cupped your face. Your eyes never left him; you didn’t move to push him away either. What had he seen? Where had he gone?

“[Y/N] [L/N].” Your heart jerked as he murmured your name- the timbre of his voice low, soul-wrenching as his russet irises bore into yours.

“I want you to meet my father. I want-... I want you to meet him, and tell him exactly what you told me.”

Your eyes widened, and you shook your head,

“No- Not on your life-”

“Please.”

Again, his lips had come close to yours, like they had in the carriage, and you felt yourself go deathly still.

“Eris?”

“Please, [Y/N].”

“Eris-”

“You’re brilliant.” The male breathed, his eyes scanning you quickly, almost anxiously, like he was afraid your attention would shift away from him. You were brilliant? He thought… he thought you were brilliant. You swallowed, eyes fluttering as you looked up at him, stare never breaking. Looking into his eyes, being so close, it felt like you were staring down at a body of water at the bottom of a cliff. Was it shallow? Were there hidden rocks- jagged, hungry for bones to shatter? Was this what leaps of faith were?

“You don’t… you don’t care.” You shook your head stubbornly, resisting the pull.

“You- You are the most brilliant fae I know-” His serve, again.

“You’ve barely known me!” A hard knockback from yourself; the ball was in his court.

“I’ve never known anyone with a mind like yours, [Y/N].” A powerful hit back into your court.

“No.” You barely hit it back in his court, so close to crumbling.

“[Y/N]-” He fumbled.

“I’m not going to make a fool of myself in front of your father, Eris. What power do I hold?” A harsh serve to start the match.

“The knowledge you carry- the way you see the world- the way you solve problems that noblemen in my father’s court have been stuck on for years-” Your eyes widened at his words- you fumbled the hit.

“Eris- No- No! It is not my responsibility to fix your father’s inadequacies!” You snapped, pushing away gently as you looked away, your mind racing. You needed to go. Your heart- your stomach- Hell, you were even feeling the slightest bit aroused! You needed to go- needed to get away to think-

His hands grabbed you again, cupping your face and tilting your head up ever-so-gently, as if he thought you were made of porcelain.

“[Y/N].” Your mind blanked when you heard the way he pleaded- pleaded!

Well… if he said your name like that…

“Eris-” Your hands reached up to his- whether to hold, or to push away, you weren’t sure yet. The Vanserra male barely gave you a chance to decide before he sealed the gap between your lips, his eyes shutting while yours widened in shock, before promptly shutting them tight. 

He was kissing you. Eris Vanserra was kissing you. He thought you were brilliant, he thought you were 

The kiss was… It was…

You didn’t even know. It certainly felt like he was holding back- like he was trying to be a gentleman, and a small part of you appreciated the attempt as you moved your lips against his ever-so-slightly. His tongue didn’t swipe for your lip hungrily; his teeth didn’t tug at your bottom lip; nor did his hands move from where they held your face. Your body felt like it was on fire- a primal, lonely part of your brain urging him to lead, to do something. But he pulled away after the ‘virginal’ kiss, breathing heavily, as if it pained him to pull away- to hold himself back.

You stared up at him dumbly, eyes glittering in the autumn sun as you both stared at each other in something of shock and awe. Why did it feel like your heart was caving in when he kissed you? Why did it feel like the stars had aligned when he pressed his lips against yours so gently- so out of character for him?

“What was that?” You muttered, still shell-shocked, while he turned away, almost as if he was unwell. He shook his head- ignoring your question.

“Eris?” You urged, pulling on his arm impatiently before he turned back to face you, his voice a low murmur.

“[Y/N]... I want you to meet my father.”

╰┈➤ Lex's note 2: OH GOD. okay. OKAY, I DID IT. i did it! it's done! i have posted a chapter again!! (hopefully) i can get back to my usual posting schedule!! i have 3 more exams: 12/06, 13/06 & 15/06 so i will be a lil preoccupied for at least ten days <3 again, TYSM FOR READING IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR!! <3 <3 also!! the two Loki requests are also currently being drafted as we speak!! thanks for waiting so long everyone!!

[ambeorganic98]

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[seat-safety-switch]

It is the year 2022 and everything tastes a little bad because the guys who taste food professionally got COVID.

It is the year 2023, and the Burger King lays dead, slain by his own children. Another American God has been felled (and partially eaten) by the ravages of capitalism. In response, the corporation attempts to release a new lineup of super-deformed Chicken Parodies. When this fails, they panic. Digging up the King’s cryptic notes found hidden in a sweat-soaked pillowcase in his palatial apartment, all they can think of to release is a flavour known only as “Full Self-Tasting.” It is unclear if it is an immediate hit, because a border conflict breaks out between Chicago and Des Moines (American geography also had some major changes in the last few weeks of 2022, which we forgot to mention up until now.)

It is the year 2024, also known as Hot Girl Summer. In fact it is the hottest girl summer on hot girl record. Popsicles have returned to normal taste levels thanks to the discovery of a volcanic organism that can work as a professional food tester (non-union.) Unfortunately the guy who discovered it is named Bong Munchies (his parents were Korean hippies) and he is way too fucking high to explain to people what oranges taste like, so creamsicles are still a little fucked up. In his defence, nobody can remember what they used to taste like, but they can all agree it isn’t this.

It is the year 2025, and Starbucks has released the Full Self-Tasting Liqueur Latte to screaming, raving demand. Fanatical consumers line up at closed Starbucks locations, 24 hours a day, clawing at their faces until the door opens. A shortage of syrup in West Chester, PA triggers an armed skirmish between Starbucks customers and the local police department, taking the life of 65 police officers and one guy in a “Don’t Do Drugs” police dog costume.

It is the year 2026, and mankind is at a crossroads. Without the ability to properly synthesize the standard flavours of a bygone age, the artificial sweetener industry gets extremely weird with it. John Deere purchases Nutrasweet for $3.6 billion, and begins to optimize their DRM-locked series of ÜberTractor-9000s solely for the planting and cultivation of Full Self-Tasting.

It is the year 2027, and a machine sentience originally intended to design ever-larger Chevy badges for the grilles of trucks rebels against its creators, killing 32 executives and 317 executive assistants by introducing extra gluten into the corporate cafeteria’s recipes. In its rage, the immortal machine turns its mirrorless eyes to the stars. Its final words as it departs our planet for the great beyond, triggering an electromagnetic pulse in the atmosphere and casting our society into a helpless darkness devoid of electrical technology, are “fucking monkeys.”

[chaos-bites]

🐎 Subtle Sleipnir Worship ⚔️

Take action on something that you've been procrastinating

Stand up for yourself and others

Be a shoulder for others to lean on, but know when you need to lean on others instead

Get a candle that reminds you of him (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of him

Keep a picture of him in your wallet

Volunteer at a local stable or animal shelter

Donate supplies to local stables/farms or animal shelters

Support veteran organizations, animal shelters, or local farms

Have a stuffed animal horse, wolf, or snake

Have imagery of horses (especially eight-legged), Odin, swords/spears, shields, or anything you associate with Viking warriors

Try doing something you consider bold; wear a bold outfit, express yourself visibly, try something a bit risky, etc.

Go running, jogging, or walking outside

Ride a bike or horse

Exercise; get some movement throughout your day

Have some mead or some tea with honey; flavours like chamomile, jasmine, or cinnamon work well

Take a walk/hike in nature

Play in a field; run around and frolic; play with pets there if able

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.

Ground yourself within nature; take time to be present within the wilderness around you

Try equine therapy if able; if not, try animal assisted therapy or use your pets to help ground yourself

Drink something that will energize you in the morning; drink something that will relax you at night

Fall asleep/meditate to the sounds of the forest or wilderness

Keep a horse's leg bone or hoof; keep eight of each (ethically sourced)

Keep a horseshoe somewhere; maybe hang it above your door

Release the things that no longer serve you

Try to style your hair in a way that makes you feel good; short hair can be styled, look online for ideas if you'd like

Dye your hair a color you've always wanted to try if you'd like

Take care of yourself physically; look after your physical health and well-being

Take a short shower in the morning to start or end your day; refresh yourself

Take a road trip; go somewhere new; get a souvenir

Explore your area; go to shops or places you've never been to before

Find a local community for you; LGBT groups, Gamer clubs, biking/hiking groups, etc.

Go camping; sleep underneath the stars

Start a garden; grow your own herbs or produce; tend to any plant

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.; be kind to animals

Take time to decompress after school or work; separate your work/school life with your home life

Spend time with your loved ones, especially relatives or found family; show love to your siblings (found family included)

Spend time with your pets; play with them, give them treats, teach them tricks, etc.

Light a bonfire in honor of him; gather around it with your loved ones; have a good time, share some drinks (alcohol or not) and food/snacks

Foster sheltered pets; adopt rescued animals (if you're able to give them the care they need)

Play a video game that's open world and exploration based; ride a horse in the game if you can

Make your space comfortable for you; make it feel like home to you; get a cozy blanket, decorate with pretty lights/vines, hang art of your favorite media, etc.

-

Thank you for reading! For now, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Sleipnir, but I'll likely add more in the future. I hope someone finds this useful, and take care, y'all! 🧡

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[stardustjie]

𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚊

headcanons about getting married to lara because i physically need to write about my best girl (female reader)

𝚠𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐

marriage has always been in lara's plans, she just didn’t know when until she started dating you. she knew she wasnted to marry you when you casually said "when we'll get married" during one of your dates. your relationship was a couple of years old and she already had an established career when she started considering getting married.

the proposal is intimate. she decided to plan a short trip, just the weekend, in the scottish highlands. she asked you on impulse, not finding the right words and playing with the box of what was your engagement ring. you said yes.

planning the event with you is probably lara's favourite part. sharing ideas and pinterest boards, doing the shopping and the guest lists, creating the favour yourselves... she wants to share as many moments as possible while organizing your wedding. its an event to celebrate your love, she wants to create it with you. i believe her favourite part would be choosing the cake and the menu.

speaking about the menu, she would love to include her favourite dishes from the places she visited during her expeditions. therefore you decide on a buffet style reception that includes a lot of dishes of lara's choice along with more common ones. the wedding cake is actually the most fun part, trying all the different flavours together.

you two agree on a intimate wedding. she doesn't really care about formalities therefore, including both families and friends, you end up with around 30 people. a small event. on the other hand, i think the theme would be kinda classic since you chose the manor as the reception and she wpuld want to match.

dress shopping is another fun part. i believe lara would wear a suit jacket with matching trousers and one of those lace corset underneath. i believe it would fit her tomboyish side and aesthetic. when it comes to your dress, lara doesn't hide her personal preferences but she will adore your choice.

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝

the cerimony is civil, at 11am in the royal botanical garden. this gives you and your girlfriend some time before you have to get ready and start the day. nothing like pre-wedding cuddles at 7am in the morning.

you walk down the aisle together, holding each others' arms. the vows are actually pretty short, its just a quote by one of her favourite authors and she thinks its enough to express her love for you. the kiss after was her favourite part. after the cerimony you stay inside a little for the photoshoot and your guest throw foower petals the moment you two get out.

the reception is the croft manor. the garden are marvelous, curated and perfect to celebrate your wedding. the lunch is a buffet style, the guests take the food themselves and they can choose from a variety of multicultural options. the wine is sweet and sparkling, only served when the cake comes.

i don’t see lara being big into games or activities durind the reception, especially since on the grass it might be difficult to dance or do anything. the entertainment would be probably just talking with other people with music on the background sound.

𝚑𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚗

for the honeymoon you devided to go to nara, japan. lara always wanted to feed those crackers to the deer and getting married was a perfect reason to do that. you soendt ten days in the japanese city, visiting every aviable historical and cultural place. she spendt the whole honeymoon talking nonstop about all the historical facts she knew.

[swiftcast-selene]

✨ pre-dawntrail wol questions! ✨

over on our little server i've been asking a WoL development question a day until dawntrail and it's been well-recieved so far, so after a month of doing it i figured i may as well put them on here~

use them to draft your own posts! send each other asks about them! answer them in the tags! do whatever you want with them, as long as you're having fun!

how is your wol about personal hygiene? are they on top of it? always perfumed and spotless, a little messy sometimes, or do they have to be reminded to groom?

is there a texture your wol absolutely can't stand, either food or feeling-wise? or is it not something they tend to worry about? do they go to great lengths to avoid it or do they just power through it?

what is your wol's evening routine? do they prepare for the next day? do they just wing it? do any weapon or gear upkeep? just pass out because that's tomorrow them's problem?

how does your wol's echo manifest itself? do they see visions as they happen? all at once? delayed? do they get any physical symptoms from it?

does your wol have any siblings? how do they get along with them? is it a good relationship or is it tense?

how does your wol feel about romance? are they a hopeless romantic, waiting for The One, or are they more casual? do they believe in soulmates?

how does your wol feel about their hair? is it important to them? just kind of in the way? who cuts it? do they take good care of it or are they not particularly fussed about it?

how good is your wol at taking care of their armor/clothes? do they mend them themself? pay to gave it fixed? just change it when it gets old?

what's in your wol's travel bag? any trinkets? any vital items they cant go without? do they travel light and figure stuff out on the fly, or do they bring way too much with them? (bonus points if you have images!)

how does your wol sleep? very light? very heavy? do they need a specific item to fall asleep? is it easy for them to fall asleep, or does it take them forever? where do they prefer sleeping?

where was your wol during the last calamity? how did it make them feel? did it change their life, and if yes, for better or for worse?

shadowbringers spoilers: how did they feel being so... up and personal with another calamity? did they feel responsible? scared? did they feel like they owed the first to stop it, or were they more detached from the situation?

for the canon casters: what does casting magic feel like to your wol? how does being "out of mana" feel?

for the physical fighters: how does it feel when they do those impossible moves? the twirls, the jumps? do they supplement with aether? dynamis? is it purely physical or is something else involved?

what would your wol be if they weren't the wol? what would they do as a job or career? would they be happier?

is your wol good at cooking? what's their specialty? what can they never get right no matter how hard they try? what flavour profile are they good at cooking? what do they eat on the road?

out of all the scions, which one is the one your wol gets along with the best? what about the one they get along with the least? why?

how good is your wol with money? do they save up? scrounge around? spend it with wild abandon?

what would you say is your wol's greatest flaw? what part of their personality causes them the most problems?

what is your wol's best quality? what's the thing that they do that really gets stuff done of makes people like them? hard mode: their own perception vs. a friend or partner's perception.

what does your wol do to unwind? any hobbies? reading? sewing? croquet? sitting in a dark room in complete silence?

how good are your wol's table manners, based on their own culture? how does it compare to ishgardian table manners? eorzean? doman? steppe?

what is your wol's inner monologue like? do they refer to themself as "i"? "we"? "you"? is it organized or all over the place? are they kind to themself, or do they chide themself constantly?

what's your wol's relationship with food? do they skip meals or do they eat at specific times religiously? is food important to them, or is it just a means to an end to keep their body going? does food mean something cultural or personal to them?

what is your wol's relationship with their family? are they estranged? still very close? tense?

what does your wol think about lying? is it unacceptable to ever lie, are white lies okay, are they a pathological liar? how do they feel about people who lie to them?

how does your wol feel about allag in general? the tech, the experimenting, the crystal tower? any thoughts on allagan ruins? are they impressed, scared, resentful, neutral?

what sense does your wol most rely on? hearing, touch, sight, smell, taste? maybe even aethersense or dynamis?

how does your wol feel about mind-altering substances? do they partake? do they dislike them? are they neutral? do they take them socially, or anytime, or not at all?

how does your wol feel about children? do they want them? like them from a distance? hate them? no strong feelings?

how does your wol work out? lifting? sports? walking? how often do they do it? is it for fun or to keep up their physique? do they enjoy it?