#orientaytion

[ajcrowlor]

i wasn't planning to, but i came out to my nonni today

not in any specific vocabulary, but i told them that me and Nadia are together

they've seen Nadia a bunch over the last 8 years, they know she's my friend, and they know we're living together, but i was upset about something unrelated and so i told them "we're together, and we have been for 8 years and im sorry i haven't told"

and my 102-year-old nonna and 99-year-old simply said "okay", my nonna specifically saying "i accept you" to me and Nadia

my grandparents are a hundred year old catholic italian immigrants that barely speak french, my grandmother doesn't speak english at all, and they simply just said okay, we accept you, Nadia's like a granddaughter to us

im just. really glad i finally told them.

[ajcrowlor]

love when companies make "gender neutral" shirts but the buttons are on the women's side

it really just feels like "hey we just repackaged women's shirts for women now give us money"

like

just buy men's shirts or women's shirts and stop trying to make gender neutral shirts a thing

like unless it's a tuxedo shirt with non-attached buttons so you choose the side the placket opens on, you've already gendered the damn thing !!!

it also feels extra :/// when they don't have any models with a more "masc" build... and sorry i unfortunately cannot think of any other non-gendered way to state that cis men and trans men, and butch and masc people of whatever gender or agab should also be included in inclusive clothing? bc otherwise it becomes very "women and enbies!" vibes which. i don't Like (and i say this as an afab twink demiboy assumed girl by most people)

[ajcrowlor]

so when did being anti- heteroromatic-ace/heterosexual-aro become "absolutely no aces or aros" bc like all these people completely drop the A sucks if you're agender as you weren't even part of the argument and still got your place taken away anyways just shit that's been bugging me :/

[ajcrowlor]

related to the worries about the potential of transphobic opinions at the Women's Marches: i now everyone that is slamming down TERFs means well but like. transphobia is not only directed at trans women yes! trans women have a right to be at those protests! stand up for them! they're women too! but don't forgot that a lot of what is being protested is in support of reproductive rights and while it doesn't really apply to trans women it can apply to trans men or anyone d/afab and they shouldn't feel dysphoria while standing up for rights that belong to them as much as a cis d/afab woman i see a lot of people supporting trans women but almost everyone is forgetting that trans men exist (not to mention intersex people and that even not all cis women have full/functional reproductive organs)

[ajcrowlor]

seeing so many TERFs and similar assholes commenting on posts basically just assures me that i can't even trust someone who's a feminist like, as a trans masc person, "feminist" does not make someone safe from my presentation as masculine people would exclude me because "feminism is for women only" and if they know im d/afab then im "mentally ill and part of the transcult" or "a traitor to womanhood" if i want a voice then im told to shut up because im male, but by stating i should have a voice for being d/afab then im told that im confessing to not really being a man and im therefore female there are feminists that would disagree with all this bullshit and support me and all people: cis or trans, intersex or perisex but i guess what im saying is that i can't just trust feminism as a whole because there's too large a contingency of people that don't want to deal with me even in discussions about "women's rights" i see people coming to the support of trans women, but for every 20 of those people, only one person points out that trans men and anyone else f.a.b. is just as in need of "female" healthcare and other support and if i complain about feminism not being equal because a lot of feminists are exclusionary, i find it sick irony when someone tells me "but not all feminists" because isn't that the exact phrase so many feminists hate? "not all"? i guess generally i support the ideals of inclusionary feminism, but i can't really call myself a feminist when i feel like one way or the other a majority of feminists would find a way to exclude me from conversation i believe in equality, but i can't be part of a group where i don't feel safe i don't know where that leaves me

[ajcrowlor]

wow sorry for going off tonight but im just a tired queer ace demiboy and seeing this shit from fuckwads in power is irritating but then even worse when it's coming from those that say they oppose the fuckwads in power if anyone does take issue w something i said like feel free to have a non-anon discussion with me but like if you're gonna hide behind a grey blob and come into my space and tell me im wrong like yeah respect people's existences or expect resistance from me because i don't like bullies no matter what rhetoric they hide behind

[ajcrowlor]

why do i so often see things insinuating that even if a relationship is gay/lesbian that it's ok! they can still have kids the traditional way! trans people exist! like some trans people are ok w reproducing the way they were born biologically but also a lot of them Are Not and hello! brilliant way to make a bunch of people feel dysphoric! A+ for Asshole behaviour! is2g im gonna rip out my fallopian tubes and strangle someone with them next time

[ajcrowlor]

pssst tay what're your preferred pronouns

i keep meaning to add that to my blog somewhere ngk so im gonna post this ???

um so for peeps that have known me pre me considering myself gender fluid and whatever, it’s weird to hear anything other than “she” ??? but with strangers im flattered if they use “he” and think im a boy (so like new followers can go for “she”, “he” or “they” whatever you want)

i guess the only thing is i kinda like male terms? like emperor/lord/wizard over empress/lady/witch ??? actually have for ages (mighta been a hint i was gender fluid ah ha ha)

idk pronouns are weird when you’ve been speaking two languages most of your life where a chair is feminine and a computer is masculine like who cares ??? the only point is basically to distinguish between things so as not make things confusing ???

tldr if you’ve known me for a while now you can keep using female pronouns because i’d probs be confused with anything other :’D

(then again it’s not like im on the receiving end of the pronouns anyways… you only really use them when talking about me to someone else so what do i care)

tldr pt 2 pronouns are really weird 

[ajcrowlor]

ayyyyysexual and punromantic

[ajcrowlor]

can't post my own opinions on my own blog and people miss the fact that i now identify in a such a way that might also have me deal with irl shit but nope

still supposed to agree that the whole "ew cishets lol" mentality is okay and that me complaining about it makes me a whiny cishet baby

so either im not queer enough for my voice to mean anything or even the queer subjects of the Social Justice Court are supposed to shut up as their tithe or whatever

this is why i ignore SJ on this website because it literally makes no sense

[ajcrowlor]

bradspitfire replied to your post:reformedqueens said:#orientaytion JFC TAYLOR i’m...

it took me way too long to spot what was weird with that word

*sitting here cackling*

[ajcrowlor]

Are you genderfluid or bigender or...??

i don’t actually go out and look up definitions and whatnot (i only read what crosses my Tumblr dash) as just looking up the ace spectrum leaves me more confused than anything so i don’t even know which term fits me best

i guess tho i like genderfluid ??? like it’s gotten beyond the point of just liking to dress like a guy idek orz

(what prompted this question? i haven’t really talked about myself at all today XD )

[ajcrowlor]

i just realized i almost missed the perfect opportunity to have an #orientaytion tag

*cries at horrible puns*

[ajcrowlor]

the more i read about asexuality the more i feel like it's utter bollocks and i consider myself on the scale

so now basically the the only reason i think im ace (or demi or whatever) is because while it seems to me as being the norm (having to know someone to maybe eventually want to have sex), the norm doesn't seem to identify with that idea

does this post even make any sense i give up