#orym & the two barbarians that are so so charmed by him

[finncakes]

mothafuckin' tanks bitch!!!! 💥👊💥

redraw of photo under the cut

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 74

"Sweet Sam"? What is ... wait, what the bright blue FUCK is this? "Sweet Sam will FINISH HER!!! In court ..." Bloody hell ... oh gods not the teeth, please not the teeth ... and that's just destroying EVERYBODY ... dear gods Sam WHY?!!!

A human shark ... a Riegel shark ... what a horrible image ...

Awwwwww ... Bells Hells plushies! Liam: "Mine's size accurate!" XD Yeah ...

"Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match ..."

Oof ... TWO DAYS through this terrain? Ouch ...

Considering chancing teleportation? Okay ... boy it sure would be handy if THEY HAD A SPYGLASS ...

Fearne suggesting turning herself into one of those giant toads and carry them all in her mouth ... hmmmm ...

Yeah ... sounds like magic is probably OUT ...

Chetney: "I was trying to be enthusiastic." Laudna (laughing): "I can't tell with your crotchety tone."

Imogen Temult, walking bug-zapper ... XD

Turns out Fearne mostly just survives day by day by pure dumb luck ... O.O

Delilah back in Laudna's head becomes an excuse for Marisha swapping out Feats ... hmmmm ...

Translations ... creepy, somewhat haunting ones ... oof ... this can't be a good sign ...

Iffodola? Okay ...

Ah ... so it's the Oxnard of Exandria ...

Healthy volcanic jungle makes for vibrant environs ... "two layer fog"? Weird ...

Aaaaah ... Survival rolls ... 17 ... Nice ... and 24 Perception for Orym ... but of course ...

To the Beaten Path ... yeah, probably smart ... oh, trust the Changebringer? Guided Grace? Okay ... vibe check, then ... heads? Go that way then ...

Oh, a full-blown RAINFOREST ... okay then ...

Ah ... they're being followed? Big ass boars? No ... what the fuck was THAT thing? Hmmmm ...

Pass Without A Trace? But that would slow them down ... save it, we don't KNOW we're in danger ...

Roll a D6? Oh great ... what did you DO, Travis?

A river? Hmmm ... is it a problem, or ... what exactly IS going on with Chetney right now?

Stick check! Ooof ... okay, probably NOT a good idea ... oh yeah, that's right they DO have TWO Immovable Rods now ...

Chetney literally turns himself into a fishing gnome ... LOL

Ooh, a FISH!!! Nice ... is it a mutation? Seems not ...

Ashton wants Pate to do something? Interesting ... he wants him to BE BAIT?!!! Oh come on ...

Awwww ... wow, Pate's having an existential crisis right now and Laudna wants him go be tackle ... oh wow, this is gonna be interesting ... splash! Hmmm ... he's actually ENJOYING not being eaten "alive" bt piranhas ...

Wow ... is Laudna really about to do a tightrope walk right now? "Naruto RUN!!!" 7 ... oh boy ... and she's IN THE RIVER!!! That is a SHIT SHOT, Letters! Hmmm ...

Telekinetic Pull? Save your girlfriend, Imogen!

Ashton just jumps in to rescue her instead ... andhe REALLY didn't think this through, did he? Oh boy ... swim, barbarian! Swim!

Seedling to the rescue now? Oh, okay ... 21 for Dexterity? Of course he does ... meanwhile Ashton's now Raging ...

And now there's something coming out of the river after them now ... oh shit what the fuck is THIS?!!!

Some kind of freaky demon hippo? Oh for eff's sake ...

Stonky's Ring! Nice save, Fearne!

Crap ... here it comes ... and it's got YOUNG with it! Charming ...

FCG casts Speak With Animals ... "FUCK OFFFFFF!!!" Oh, that's a very unpleasant and cranky beast.

That was ... interesting ...

Oh, now Fearne is leading them? Hmmm ... is this really a good thing? Stop eating poop, Fearne ...

Matt: "Nothing is free." Yeah, clearly they're gonna pay for this somehow later ...

Night is coming ... time to find shelter ...

Fearne trying to remember how she made their little shelter last time ... oh, here we go ...

Nice cosy weird nature hovel ...

Baked fish? Hmmm ... FCG's faking it ... Imogen: "Why are you making it gross?" FCG: "Well I can just wipe it off."

Night falls and it's getting cold ...

Fish jerky, essentially ... charming ... and now his internals stink of fish ... "My hot holes are all fishy now."

Wow Sam Riegel has just made a joke that has LITERALLY made Matt Mercer WALK OUT ...

Crap ... WHY is Matt rolling?

Laudna is taking 9 points of Necrotic damage? From WHAT?!!!

Marisha: "Even though I'm a Hollow One?" Sam: "Oh, he didn't remember that."

Wait ... now LIAM is taking 3 points too?

What creepy ass fresh hell is THIS?!!!

Freaky little shadow imps? Oh that can't be good ...

Shadow Cant ... hmmmm ... oh shit, they understand that shit? That's not good ...

Oh, they want BODY heat ... great ...

Chill Touch? Okay ... 27 for an Attack Roll ... oh, she went up a level ... whoa, THREE Eldritch Blasts now, when she wants to? That should be fun ...

Okay, yes, kill the little fuckers ...

FCG calls on the Changebringer to Turn Undead ... oh yeah, that did it, looks like ...

Crap ... there's more outside? Oh, they're backing off? Hmmm ... HAVE THEY been scared off for good, or ...?

FCG suggests someone be a sacrificial lamb for the rest while they sleep ... hmmmm ...

Trying to concoct some deterrents, then ...

First watch for Laudna and FCG ... no real danger, at least ...

Next to Fearne and Imogen ... Imogen: "They're sad and cute ... I feel sorry for 'em."

Daybreak seems to have seen them off, at least ...

Now Chetney's sounding like he's writing a book ...

Another day's travel and they MIGHT make it to their destination ...

Orym is now riding on Fearne's shoulders as she leads the way. :3

I'm with all if you, what IS going on with Chetney right now?

Oh, he's being romantic? Hmmm ... she puts the flower in her hair. Cue cracks about potential brain parasites ... Ashton: "It's gonna be YOUR fault when she turns on us later."

The base of the mountain ... and there's a weird lake there ... hmmm ...

Weird ground ahead ... a trap? Hmmmm ... oh yeah, that's DEFINITELY suspicious ...

Laudna's sending Pate ... oh, the poor little bugger, not again ...

Grim Psychometry again! Okay ...

Good point, CAN THEY bypass it?

Imogen chucks a big stone in ... yup, there us DEFINITELY a trap here ... shit, it's like a big two level deadfall ... nasty ..

"Fish Cut Bass" ... oof ...

Ashley rolls a 30 on Survival ... wow ... Matt has to reveal EVERYTHING now ...

A shitload of traps, clearly ... apparently it's a reminder of Nana Mori ... O.O ... okay ...

Sam: "Matthew, is a tree an object or a creature?" Matt (with a particularly unsettling grin): "Depends on which tree." Okay then ...

Enquiring if any of this feels familiar to Ashton ...

FCG casts Find the Path using Ashton as the focus in order go find the Tree ... and it tanks. FCG: "You ruined my spell!"

Somebody's coming ...

Oh, so they have bows, and they are NOT friendly, looks like ... standoff ... hmmm ...

So, who are they? She speaks Common. Um ... yeah ... and now it's time for a break ...

Wow ... so what did they say to get THAT response out of him before we came back?

Orym very carefully shows them his satchel with the thing inside ... oh, so THIS is familiar ... Temu? Who's Temu, then?

Okay, this might be all right after all ...

Oh, they know who Jirana is, at least ... that's a good sign.

Ashton has to make a Persuasion Check with advantage ... 9? Oof ...

Oh, so they're allowed to go on at least, but without any help. Oh, they can return the rest of their stuff? Okay, that might make things easier ...

Oh, so that's it? Okay then ...

Laudna: "They seemed very done with us, thanks to Ashton." Hey, now ...

Imogen goes flying up looking for the Tree ... goes back down to fetch Orym to help her look ... much better Perception ... okay, here we go ...

Just flying about for a bit ... oh, so it's like z big fucking SINKHOLE ... yeah, looks like THAT'S a good bet for the location ... back down to the others, then.

Fearne leads the final trek ... to the hole. Cue nany cracks about moist and dark holes ... Matt: "I hate all of this." XD

Aha ... yep, looks like THIS is indeed the way to go ...

So it's a big, long, dark drop ... oh no, there's something down there, but not exactly anything they can really make out ...

The Shadow Realm? Seriously?

Testing the depth ... Laudna has to make a strength check ... Nat20? Holy crap ... wow, so that really IS deep ...

AGAIN considering sending Pate ... I'm with Imogen, they're getting really mean to him. Give the poor freaky bone rat a break, guys!

Wow ... it seems like Imogen's genuinely bonding with Pate now ...

They're genuinely considering just jumping in ...

Little carved Chetneys ... yeah, that's not weird at all ...

Asking the Changebringer if this is safe ... looks like it is ... okay ...

So YES on prepping Featherfall just in case ...

Oh, they're jumping ... yikes!

Something below ... DO IT NOW!!! AAAAAAHHH!!! Laudna casts Featherfall, Imogen flies, Fearne transforms into a shoebill ...

Leaves. Endless jet black leaves ... oh, it's the top of a massive tree. Okay then ...

Touchdown. Very roughly ...

I would feel very safe betting this is Evontravir, then ...

Ashton (to Chetney): "Don't chisel the tree."

Fearne flies down with Imogen carrying Laudna ... and they both get hit in the face by a branch on the way down, each taking THREE POINTS OF SLASHING DAMAGE?!!! Ouch ...

Just weird clutters of various objects scattered around the roots at the base ... weird ...

It is REALLY cold down here ...

Ah yes, the knotty prospect of getting the others down too ... hmmmm ...

Chetney's already climbing down, but the rest are staying put until told otherwise ... oh no, here comes Ashton too ...

Everybody starts singing "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail ... XD

FCG's descent is ... chunky, but at least Orym makes it fairly smoothly ...

Oh, so these things are like OFFERINGS ... and from all over Exandria, too ...

Grim Psychometry on some random little carved wooden egg bear ... from a veteran soldier, left as a kind of sacrifice ... interesting ...

Detect Thoughts on the Tree ... and it's CONSCIOUS in a really ancient way ...

FCG casts Eagle's Splendour on Ashton as he goes to commune with the Tree ... and he cuts his hand snd presses it to the bark ...

Oh ... well THAT woke it up ... and now the Tree is MOVING ... snd now it has EYES for fuck's sake ... oh boy, that's actually a FACE ...

And now it's talking ...

Ashton: "I seek what is owed to me." Oh ... okay then ...

"As it was fated ..." Oh shit ... so this is all about Ashton's father ...

The Necropolis of Toramunda? A Shard of Kamort? What the fuck?

ASHTON was his destiny? But he couldn't see it because he was blinded by his own ambition? Whoa ...

So ... Ashton is offering Evontravir ... a toke from his pipe? O.O

Ashton: "Be a small man for a minute, you big fuck." LOL

Wow, they're actually doing it ...

Hundreds of people, running and caught, brought to the tree, and vanishing ... what the hell does that even mean?

Evontravir: "There are no nobodies that come this far to find me."

The strength of the Empress ... to restore the might of the Emperor? Okay then ...

It knows about the Solstice and everything it means ... whoa ... " I am the gate, and the boundary." Okay ...

Imogen: "How do we stop Predathos?"

They have to choose the fate of the gods?

Evontravir: "What do you believe in? What is right for this world?"

A shared vision ... a glow of endless red? Oh yeah, that has to be Predathos ...

Yeah, Matt is laying it on THICK with some seriously beautiful poetic metaphor ...

Ah, the Bloody Bridge, and the Moon ... "This is the path you have chosen." Ah ... yeah ...

Oh yeah, good point, Chet ... CAN Evontravir help them get where they need to be?

Damn it, what was THAT? Oh hello ... is that a portal in the tree? Oh! Yes, go, go NOW!!!

They all pile through ... freezing cold, snow ... the edge of a mountain range, mist in the distance ...

Okay, so they're still in the Shattered Teeth ... and now there's a sky whale floating by ... big cavern close by ...

And that's it for tonight ... meanwhile everybody's brains are EXPLODING wondering WHAT THE FUCK is really going on with Ashton ... yeah, same ...