#outofteasing

[akumanoken]

I want to personally apologize to this boy right here because i don't feel like I can do anything right now like I'm wanting to interact with new people or do new interactions with my friends I already have but I also... have such a wierdly negative brainspace that makes even the two drafts I did today a chore and I honestly want to feel more creative in this space and in other spaces as well but that's another beast to conquer...

But it seems like this week especially, it's been a battle to simply place myself in a space that doesn't seem like I'm just a lost 5 year old who forgot how to social cues.

Anyway, I've been quiet and Souji wants to get out there, but I also have been in such a state that I worry about.... just about everything. I love being here and I love creating stories and interacting with everyone and even just reading other people's stuff... I just have been in a weird state and don't know what to do about it.

[akumanoken-archive]

[[MORE]]

Wow my mood is dropping the closer I get home... I really want to write but also I don't know what to do so...I'm ask sorry I feel like all I do is gripe lately but thanks for being here.

I really do love you guys...I guess I just need to suck it up. I'm in such a slump but you guys are awesome

[akumanoken]

@cuteteacakes

minecraft java edition 1.15 is going to have bees

 i can be a beekeeper in real life and in minecraft my life is fulfilled 

[papashinyashindo]

(my that is one sexy demon. Get you a man who will turn himself into a demon to save your ass)

[ofsnipcr-blog]

OutOfTease: I’m not sure I’m actually over ONS new chapter... HOW do they manage to get me have 10 more questions for every one they give an answer to?!

Also, yes, this is my way of proving that I’m still alive and active even though I suck at it *weeps* I love you all who still stick with me I promise that if you send me an ask/starter/IM I’ll answer, I’ve just been busy but I have a small break between exams now :”D The only issue will be my lack of icons bc I’m currently without a PC and using my tablet :”(

[akumanoken]

A selfie before we set sail again

[akumanoken-archive]

IM SORRY EVERYONE GO HOME KEANU FUCKING REEVES IS IN THIS VIDEO GAME WHAT IS MY LIFE I NEED THIS??..

Get ready. We have a city to burn. 16th April 2020 Pre-order now: https://www.cyberpunk.net/pre-order

[akumanoken]

My mood is doing a rollercoaster, and those who are in my twitch discord know why but for everyone else....

So yesterday Cherry started acting really funny, and it turned out she was injured pretty bad. Nothing is definitive but it's got owl written all over it. The vet said there was nothing else wrong, no infection, so it's just a matter of treating the wound. She was really groggy and shy yesterday after the vet (they had to put her under anesthesia) but eventually she was alright enough to let me pet and headbutt her...

Today she's hiding in the room where I do tarot laying next to one of my little altar cloths and she's grooming herself and she even gave me a little kitty kiss on my hand and was being bratty and demanding pets but I'm... it was hard to wake up today and hard to concentrate when I see the wound on her shoulder and know that she was in so much pain yesterday and is just... laying so low. It's been hard not to cry thinking about it but I'm just so fucking thankful that nothing else happened and that she's still here... but I also have things to do I have work and I'm making progress and it really is just me trying my best to be chill.

I feel like I'm the only one ready to fall apart at any moment over it and I'm trying not to let it show.

Anyway just in case I just fuckin go manic one moment and then fall of the face of the goddamn earth the next you guys know what's up.

[akumanoken]

Lemme just.... art rant a second

What is with this trend I see going around that someone who's got really pretty art has someone accusing them of being A.I or using some A.I generator?? I don't understand...

Do I condone the use of it? No, because it's not sourced ethically and lots of people who work damn hard to make really good shit have their stuff fed into the machine and it's just spit out as learning. If they were being paid or at least asked in advance it'd be different but historically?? Not even close.

But it bugs me when I see people who make things and it's really nice and it's just assumed. I dunno. I'm still learning so much in art and it's clear my stuff is the product of happy accidents but when I see people with beautiful styles outright being accused it hurts me.

[akumanoken]

Sometimes life is great .

Stream was fun and very chill, my baby brother dropped in (I say baby brother but he's like 34) and it was a fun time. I really never so to truly think about it but I feel so fucking blessed. To be able to do what I'm doing because I have the kind of household I do to allow me to pursue this chapter of my life is everything. For the first time ever I'm really happy and excited about what I do. Like the stress comes from wanting to be better and not because of other people or because of the job being shit and when I think about it it seems like some sort of fever dream

Sometimes I worry because I haven't made a new sticker in some time, but also I'm busy with commissions and I've already made so many. I know that I rush myself and I'm working on that. But really is just I'm just laying in bed waiting for the melatonin to kick in and feeling the highest vibes.

Anyway sorry for the long post I hope you guys are doing great. Remember I love you, drink water, make sure you eat something and take your meds off you got them. Night

[akumanoken]

Three in a row!!!

Happy x3!!!!

[akumanoken]

Am I depressed or am I hungry? An ongoing saga featuring me, your favorite disaster

[akumanoken]

when your fave girl group shows up the moment you were trying to get your shit together

[akumanoken]

wow I feel like sometimes I'm regressing?? Like mentally Im Benjamin button?? Like I tried growing up too fast when I was small and now it's kinda catching up to me? it's a really weird state to be in....

but also I guess it's a good thing to be self aware...

But yeah I'm feeling very weird right now, eating some chocolate cake and trying to remember to breathe so I wanted you guys to know that you're care about and loved. I hope you're taking care of yourselves... but also you're taking your time. please.... take your time. pace yourselves. Everyone goes at their own pace. It's taken me a long time to realize that and I can also say I'm not done learning...

but anyway be true to yourselves guys, love you hope you're well and taking care of yourself...

[akumanoken]

Hello everyone!! Just wanted to say hi and thanks for being around. I have had so little spoons to do much lately and you guys are just awesome and I just want you to know that I'm actively looking at what you guys are doing and loving every second so know that even if I'm not writing or being super selective I love and really want to write with all of you, but it is a struggle bus right now to even get up out of bed and eat most days.

[akumanoken]

there is a real irritation I get when someone asks if I want to do something and then leaves me waiting... like there are other things I'd like to do with my life, and I want to get it over with so I can do other things. I am doing my best, trying my damnedest to be patient, but this shit is what I absolutely cannot stand.