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Cracks and Gaps - The Worst Day (part I) Carmen Berzatto x Fem!Reader Mature (Explicit in the following parts) 7434 words ao3

You meet Carmen in Copenhagen through a mutual friend and bond over shared experiences. After following his rising career from afar, you reconnect in Chicago when he renovates his late brother's restaurant. As an editor, you can't miss an opportunity to find out more about the comeback of this chef prodigy.

A/N: I've started writing this story a looong time ago last year. There will be two more parts. I would like to thank @carmyboobear for being the most incredible beta and helping me out on the rocky journey. They're a very special person to me, and also a fantastic and inspiring writer themselves. Please, check their Carmy stories if you haven't!

THE WORST DAY

The first time you meet Carmen, you are both a little over twenty and in Copenhagen. He is staging at Noma, and you are interning at a design studio where everyone is very “green.” From one of your conversations with Carmen, you learn that Pop-Tarts and Cheetos are illegal here. In Europe. Most of the sodas that stained your tongue crazy colors when you were a kid are banned too. He lectures you on Scandinavian agriculture and food production.

Carmen is skinny and short—still a bit taller than you, though—with sharp, high cheekbones and bulging eyes. You don't know enough about each other to be “friends,” but he is a good companion. Your high school friend Becky knows Carmen’s older sister; that’s how you found each other in Denmark’s capital.

On two rare occasions, you get drunk together, and that happens only when he is stressed from work. Like, stressed STRESSED. You'd think he only drinks special natural wine from Lofoten or something, but his choice of poison is canned Budweiser. Maybe he misses home as much as you do. Maybe that’s what leads you to almost kiss him the second time. Carmen lives on a boat, and he takes you there, where you drink vodka mixed with herbs and licorice that Carmen concocts, his tongue peeking out between his lips as he concentrates. The drink tastes good. Weird. You don't hide your grimace. Neither of you comments on the alcohol ratio. It's more vodka than anything else, that's for sure.

Carmen is not your type, physically or character-wise—you are an introvert yourself, so you need someone to bring you out of your shell. Obviously, doing an internship on a different continent is a huge step, one that is only on you. He also smokes a lot and probably doesn't wash his hair. You've heard about his crazy mother and bonkers family from Becky, so you understand why Carmen is Carmen. Why he’s run off to Europe. It's just—his face—his eyes, when he's telling you about his dream job at Noma or Alchemist—they glow, and he becomes so animated, the quiet excitement seeping to the surface, and there's fondness blooming in your chest. He also knows a thing or two about sports, as you do, the subject bringing you back to Chicago, and the longing for “home” and “familiar” is terribly strong in the moment, enhanced by the alcohol. And Carmen, the boy sitting opposite you, with burns on his hands and ripped jeans, is both of those things put into one.

Nothing happens between you two, but the urge to press your own lips against his lingers after you leave in a taxi, not brave enough to ride a bike under the influence.

You try to stay in touch after Copenhagen, messaging Carmen on his empty Facebook profile, sending a text once in a while, mainly at Christmas, and when you have some terrible junk food, just to make fun of him. When he FaceTimes you, he’s in Paris, and you’re in Dublin. The next time, he’s in California.

He rarely ever answers messages on the phone. Usually, it's an emoji, sometimes a word or two. Soon, there are no answers, and you can't be bothered. You carry on with your life in Chicago, and it doesn’t take long before you start seeing Carmen Berzatto in the paper, on the internet. The young prodigy chef, everyone says. Reluctantly, you read the articles, thinking about the Copenhagen Carmen, smiling at his photos. He's grown up, filled out. His hair is curlier, his shoulders wider, his biceps stronger. He looks good. Good and sad, you think to yourself, and decide not to text him to congratulate him on his star career. Carmen is not one to care about what you think of it.

It's only when you hear from Becky that Mikey Berzatto has died, that you think of Carmen properly, after years full of work in the magazine office, one shitty almost-boyfriend, and summers spent in Europe, writing about sustainable travel and solo adventures. Becky says that he's inherited a restaurant from Michael. You decide against sending him condolences—too personal.

But about ten months later, there's whispering that a fancy restaurant, The Bear, is replacing The Beef of Chicagoland, and it's actually your boss who tells you that you should go check the place out.

You are not into that whole haute cuisine thing, to be honest. You never understood those tiny little portions and strange ingredients and their combinations. You prefer good pasta with Bolognese sauce or roasted chicken with mashed potatoes. Sometimes you wonder if Carmen's strange relationship with his family is what's keeping him away from his Italian roots and forcing him to work in pristine, starched whites in sterile kitchens, cooking intestines and antlers, making it art.

---

Becky gives you Natalie Berzatto’s phone number to get in touch with her to try to schedule an interview for the magazine feature. Your boss, Rob, hopes that Carmen could even make it to the cover soon when The Bear takes off. You’re not sure how you feel about bypassing Carmen completely and going straight to his sister.

So one Thursday, in early May, you decide to walk there, unannounced. You corner the building, passing a big glass window, and before you make it to the main entrance, you nearly collide with a very wonky wooden stepladder. With Carmen Berzatto on top of it, fiddling with a screwdriver or a similar tool, and a signboard.

The second you make contact with the ancient stepladder, Carmen shouts, "Fuck!"

“Sorry,” you yelp, and one glance at the man high up confirms that you are indeed dealing with the Chef himself.

“Could you watch out?” he says angrily as he makes his way down, measuring every step carefully.

“I’m sorry,” you apologize again, waiting anxiously for Carmen to—hopefully—recognize you. To anyone walking by, you must look like an idiot, standing still in the middle of the sidewalk, waiting motionless and stiff for a guy to climb down a ladder.

You don’t know what you had been expecting but definitely not Carmen staring at you with his huge, bloodshot eyes for seconds that feel like minutes. You nearly turn around and walk away, no joke.

He looks—

“You look—” you start. Terrible. But also, like, gorgeous. Terribly tired but hot. Is it awful of you to think that?

“Hi,” Carmen says, one hand going into the big mess of his hair, the other one into his pants pocket. He's avoiding your eyes, which makes you even more nervous, makes you think it was not such a great idea to come here.

“Hi!” you say, probably overly enthusiastically. “You're back in Chicago,” is the first thing you can think of.

He nods. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Well, congrats on the new place,” you say, gesturing to the building behind him, newspaper covering the windows. “I'm really sorry, I thought it was already open,” you explain, tugging on the hem of your lilac sweatshirt nervously. Can he tell you’re lying? “Becky mentioned something about it.”

“No, we’re opening next week,” Carmen says, holding a cigarette between his fingers.

“I'm really curious,” you smile carefully, testing the waters, wondering how he's going to react. You haven't seen each other in more than five years, and Carmen's never been exactly friendly. Not like mean, but definitely not easily approachable. “I work for this magazine, and we would love to do a feature on this,” you say, leaving out that it's you who would be writing it. Who wants to write it. Not only about the place but about Carmen, the enigma, the quiet boy, the excellent chef.

He only nods, clearly not sharing your enthusiasm. “Maybe later,” he taps the cigarette against the palm of his other hand. “When we're ready for this kind of thing.”

“Of course,” you agree quickly.

“Might be a while.”

“So what is the big plan?”

Carmen looks at you, measuring you. Like he thinks you have some ulterior motive. He lights up the cigarette, taking a long drag from it, and you fight not to scrunch your nose in disgust. The older you get, the more you hate the smell. Especially when someone is blowing out the smoke aimlessly—almost—in your face.

“My partner—Sydney, she’s hung up on the stars. So I guess a fine dining kinda place,” Carmen says, flicking the cigarette butt in the general direction of the gutter. The second sentence comes out more like a question than a statement, but you are still processing the first one.

“You run a business with your girlfriend?” you swear you don’t mean it to sound so accusing.

Carmen takes a step back, physically—bumping into the stepladder behind him—and mentally, too. “No! She—Sydney’s my business partner.” The defensive tone tells you exactly how your words sounded though. You wince. “We’ve been working on the new concept together with Nat, and the whole crew, actually. It’s—it’s a family business, I guess—uhm. We had only like three months to finish, and—”

You can see he’s really flustered. He’s starting to stutter, hand nervously scratching his neck. You hate the sight, hate that you’ve made him feel like this.

“I’m sorry!” you interrupt him. “It came out all wrong. I shouldn’t have said that,” you say urgently, hoping to see him relax back to his non-caring, nonchalant, tired-looking self. How could you mess up so quickly? Is that your special ability or a curse?

“‘s fine,” Carmen says, and he does relax a bit, shoulders dropping an inch. He doesn’t look friendly though. Or in the mood for a chat. “I just—she’s a business partner,” he repeats obstinately, face red.

The moment grows awkward. In your coat pocket, you touch a pack of chewing gum and start fiddling with it. “I—my office is nearby so I thought I could come around and see the progress,” you say into the void, trying not to cringe too much. “Maybe I would take a few colleagues for dinner.”

“The reservations aren't open yet,” Carmen says in a flat voice. You can’t call him out because it’s probably true anyway. Plus, you just lied again—the offices are not close; you had taken the L—and you feel bad about it.

There’s not much left to say, you realize. He’s not giving you any space to turn this “accidental” meeting into a proper conversation. You shuffle your feet nervously, feeling stupid.

“Alright. It was nice seeing you!” you say, as it’s about time to end this. “Hope everything’s gonna work out great!” you add in a cheerful tone, already setting to walk back to the station.

“Yeah. Thanks. Bye.” Carmen says back, lighting a second cigarette.

What a nightmare, you think as you walk through the busy streets.

—

In the following weeks, you almost forget about The Bear. Rob complains about the nonexistent article on the new, already hyped-up restaurant and wasted opportunities, but what can you do? The not-at-all-accidental meeting with Carmen had been a disaster you actively try to erase from your mind. Working on your regular column and material for the website keeps you busy. Then Becky calls out of nowhere, and you two arrange lunch at The Marq. You end up swapping hilarious stories from the last two months you hadn’t seen each other, and you secretly pray she doesn’t ask about Natalie Berzatto or her brother. You're out of luck, because she does—of course she does—and you have to lay the cards on the table.

“You did contact Nat first though?” is the first thing Becky asks.

“I didn’t,” you shake your head. “I didn’t want to exclude Carmen right at the very beginning,” you admit.

“Oh god,” Becky rolls her eyes at you, taking a small bite of her salmon cake sandwich.

“I knooow,” you quickly stop her, feeling like ordering something stronger than the simple soda you’ve been drinking.

“I think you should still call Natalie,” Becky says, pointing at you with a determined frown. “I went to see her and her new baby just last week. She asked about you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “Apparently they could really use some help getting the word out about The Bear. A good excuse to talk Carmen into an interview maybe? An exclusive one?” She wiggles her eyebrows, knowing how cool it would be for you to come up with this.

“Maybe,” you muse, playing it cool. Inside, you are already hyped up about the possibility of scoring the first interview with the former best chef in the world. Is he still good at all? Why did he disappear? Why is he back?

—

The anxiety of the following days forces you to actually text Natalie. You’ve been checking online websites and Instagram accounts apprehensively, worried that a medium might publish something about The Bear before you get a chance. Rob isn’t a dick, but you wouldn’t want to look incompetent in his eyes. So far, you’ve been able to steer away from conversations about the new Carmen Berzatto restaurant at work. Your work ethic makes it difficult for you to let The Bear go without a fight.

That’s how you find yourself in front of Natalie’s door. When she opens it, she doesn’t hide her fervor.

“Oh, finally! Hi! Please come in.” She ushers you inside. You’ve never seen her in person, only on Becky’s Instagram, maybe, and even though the exhaustion is apparent on the woman’s face, you can spot the similarities with Carmen in her features right away.

From the dark hallway, she leads you to the sitting room. When you look around, it’s hard to find a clutter-free space. Every surface is covered with baby clothes, baby diapers, baby wipes—clean and dirty—bottles—full and empty.

“Sorry for the mess,” Natalie appears next to you, snatching away a baby muslin from the sofa. “Have a seat, please,” she nods. “The baby’s asleep. Hopefully for the next—” and she checks her watch, “another twenty minutes.”

As you sit down, Natalie collapses into an armchair, not minding what appears to be a pile of freshly washed newborn onesies and other clothes underneath her.

“Thank you so much for stopping by,” she says sincerely, and you notice the many stains on her purple t-shirt.

You smile. “No problem.”

“Becky said that you know stuff about Instagram and social media and marketing and all that?” Natalie’s eyes are wide and hopeful.

“I would say so,” you nod.

“I’m not sure what Becky mentioned already,” Natalie says as she starts pulling the baby clothes from under her and folding them absentmindedly. That definitely says something about the state she’s in, without Becky describing the situation to you—not only with The Bear but also Nat herself. “Carmy’s putting so much into the restaurant—we all are—so much hope,” she babbles, “none of us have slept properly in weeks—months! And now the baby...” Natalie’s gaze becomes unfocused for a moment before she blinks rapidly. “The timing’s not so great,” she forces out a weak laugh, and you smile again, already feeling bad for her, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

“I understand. It’s hard,” you empathize, feeling genuinely bad—not for The Bear—but for Natalie.

“I’m not a marketing guru, but I can research things,” she carries on, more confident now. “But I can’t be there all the time, y’know? It’s just not possible. If—if someone could help with keeping the place afloat and spreading the word—” she stops talking and folding, looking directly at you. “That would be just so awesome,” she finishes quietly, her bottom lip wobbling.

You know that Nat’s not trying to emotionally blackmail you, even though the situation kinda feels like it, and you do feel for her.

“I can help, yes.”

“I’ll talk to Carm and Sydney, and we’ll figure out how much we can offer you!” The relief and excitement are apparent in the way Nat jumps up from the armchair.

“That’s alright, really,” you say calmly, putting a hand on her arm now that she’s closer. “We can discuss this later,” and you give her another encouraging smile.

The unmistakable sound of a baby crying comes from somewhere in the house. Poor Natalie freezes, her hand going to touch her chest. She takes a deep, steadying breath.

“Thank you. Thank you,” and she takes a hold of your hand, squeezing it. “I’ll tell Sydney to get in touch with you—or you can actually just go to the restaurant; they know about you.”

That makes you slightly uncertain as you remember your first attempt at an unannounced visit to The Bear.

“Alright,” you nod with a polite smile. After all, you’re getting something out of this too.

—

Sydney texts you exactly 22 minutes after you leave worn-out Natalie and her baby behind and invites you to come to The Bear the next day. To make yourself appear more untouchable, you reply that the soonest you’re available is next Monday. Make them wait.

It gets you on edge, though, and more than once you think of Carmen in his tiny Copenhagen kitchen, how things used to be. How easy it is to grow apart. Not that you’d been friends exactly. Hard to be anything like that with a person as closed off as Carmen Berzatto.

On the agreed Monday, you dare to finish early at work and take the train to The Bear. Your stomach is in knots, even though you’ve been pretty brave about the whole thing. It’s just—you’re not sure how Carmen’s gonna react when he sees you, and you’re already thinking about the worst possible scenarios. Just stop! you tell yourself resolutely, forcing yourself to concentrate on the simple but well-thought-out marketing plan you prepared to present. Without being asked. If Carmen sees that you actually KNOW things, he might change his opinion about you. Not that you KNOW his opinion, but—maybe he would actually acknowledge you finally.

It’s just after the family meal when you arrive. A tall man who introduces himself as Richie lets you in instantly, and he’s clearly been informed about your arrivall. As soon as Sydney is notified of your presence, she rushes to you from the kitchen in the back, wiping her hands on her apron. You notice right away that she’s friendly and calm, and it relaxes your nerves. There’s no doubt she loves the restaurant and her job, and you see that she worries as much as Natalie does, or even more.

“We’re opening in two hours, so it’s a bit wild in the back, but maybe you wanna see the kitchen?” Sydney offers as she’s showing you around the newly restored restaurant, opening the heavy door. “A quick peek,” she adds as a loud cracking noise comes out of the exact door.

You’ve been to a couple of kitchens, and you must say that this one’s definitely on the chaotic side of the scale. People in white aprons run here and there, no one’s still, not even for a second. There’s a good amount of shouting and a huge amount of swearing. In the middle of everything, there’s Chef Carmen Berzatto. He looks like a character from Cartoon Network. His wild hair is sticking out in all directions, dark tattoos covering his arms and hands, face sweaty, eyes ready to pop out of his head. He’s shorter than most people you see circling the kitchen, but the loudest one. He shouts orders, and you notice the vein on the side of his neck—it sure is ready to burst. You wonder how far he is from having a heart attack.

“Or maybe next time,” Sydney mutters, gently pushing you out of the way and shutting the door again. She leads you to one of the brown wooden tables where you settle again.

“Is he always like that?” you ask Sydney, actually glad that you’re not in the room where the storm’s currently happening.

“Only when he’s stressed,” Sydney explains shortly, an apologetic smile on her lips.

When it comes to money, it’s obvious The Bear doesn’t have much to spare, that much is clear. Sydney is extremely apologetic and sweet about it.

“There’s a marketing budget—previously non-existent—that we’ve set aside and can offer. It’s just not much, I’m afraid,” she tells you, jittery.

You want to reassure her, to tell her that you're doing it for Carmen, for an old "friend." But from what you've gathered, Sydney doesn't even know that Carmen knows you.

So you just smile and reassure her anyway. "I'll put it on my resume. I can use more cases with social media for hospitality," you lie.

Nodding, Sydney clarifies, "Yes, just Instagram. Please. Carmy doesn't want to put anything in the press. Yet."

When a curious Richie joins you at the table, you present the Instagram plan to both of them. Even though Richie can't help making a few rather stupid remarks that only he finds funny, they both listen carefully. You see a lot of skepticism on Richie's face, probably because he doesn't understand some of the big words, you guess, but Sydney seems to be really into everything from pictures of the food and the weekly specials, to quick reels showing potential customers a little bit of behind-the-scenes action.

"Oh, I'm sure Cousin will be thrilled to have people sticking their noses into his business," Richie says, and you're not sure how serious he is. But Sydney shushes him, and you carry on, showing her the mock-up of the possible Instagram feed to set the mood for the profile.

For the next three weeks, you go to The Bear twice a week to gather some content—photos and videos. You talk to the crew and film those who are okay with it. Your presence is met with mixed emotions, but Sydney's gratitude and kindness make up for every suspicious glare and exasperated sigh when you find yourself in someone's way. Besides the restaurant, you take your neighbor's dog for a long walk every Saturday morning, call your mom and dad to check in, scroll Instagram instead of finally starting an actual book, and often wonder why Carmen is so hostile towards you.

Generally, you try not to hang out in the kitchen directly, especially not when Chef Carmen is present. Being uncomfortable in a new environment makes you positively anxious, causing you to go through a whole pack of your favorite cinnamon Simply Gums a day.

You also remember to always tie your hair up—not that the staff there wear hairnets or anything, but you don't want Carmen to find another reason to frown at you. He's been basically only frowning or ignoring you. Hard to tell which one is worse.

You always clean your hands super thoroughly, like during COVID, singing the "Happy Birthday" song to time it before daring to even stick your finger in the restaurant. Sydney offers you an apron to protect your work clothes, which you refuse. You sense from some people there that you're not entirely welcome.

But the more you avoid Carmen, the more likely you are to bump into him. You know Murphy's Law. So one morning, he just appears from around the corner, carrying a tray of mushrooms.

For a second, you're actually horrified that he's going to introduce himself. Before that can happen, you blurt out, "Uh—do you remember me? Copenhagen?"

Carmen stops and looks at you, wiping his wet hands on the towel attached to the string of his white apron. "Yeah," he confirms, "yeah, I do." He says your name, all soft and correct, along with your surname, and with his eyes fixed on you, you're frozen to the spot, affected whether you like it or not. Then he leaves to taste Tina's roasted peppers.

Obviously, your mind can't let the episode slip away. As you type copy for the upcoming Instagram posts, you pause every so often to cringe at how embarrassing you behaved. Of course, he remembers you, for fuck's sake! You're working in his restaurant—kinda.

"Hey! Copenhagen! You wanna see this?" Carmen yells a bit later from the other side of the kitchen, and you falter, deciding whether you're really going to answer to him calling you that.

You bite your tongue and trail hesitantly to the station where Carmen is with Tina and Ebraheim, gathered around a saucepan.

"Tina, chef, this is excellent. Well done," Carmen says to her as you approach, then turns to you.

"This is what we wanna share with the world. Perfect red pepper sauce. Simple but delicious."

"Okay," you respond, taking in the expectant way all three of them are looking at you. Like you're some kind of magician. Or a fraud.

"Just," Carmen adds before he sets off, "no recipes leave this kitchen," and he waits for you to confirm.

"Right."

Slowly, you start to question why you're helping The Bear. Is it because two years ago you thought of Carmen and what you might have felt for him? What could have been? More than the chef himself, you find yourself growing fond of the place and the employees—some of them! Seeing the Instagram followers number increase fills you with pride and satisfaction. Fuck Carmen.

---

Mornings are usually the only time when Carmen isn’t around, and you try to time your visits so your paths don’t cross.

Wanting to snap photos of the new tableware and make a quick, fun video reel, you head into the kitchen. There's no one around—Sweeps is probably hiding somewhere, and Sydney might be in the office. Not wanting to bother anyone, you set your always-heavy handbag on a chair and start looking for everything you need. There's no reason for you to feel like you're sneaking around, but you can't help feeling nervous. That’s when your clumsiness strikes, and you manage to knock over a glass of water. Rolling your eyes, you get on your hands and knees to wipe the spilled water with a rug that you hope is meant for cleaning, as you’re very aware of every item having its particular function here.

You straighten up and stretch to get one more plate from the shelf. Then you lose your footing on the still-wet tiles. Your foot slips, and the top plate falls to the countertop with a loud cracking noise. You react quickly, trying to break the fall, but there's no use. The plate shatters to pieces.

Of course, it’s Carmen himself who emerges from the door leading to the office, and you wince—both physically and mentally—preparing yourself for a very unpleasant collision.

“What’s going on?” he asks as he approaches you, eyebrows pinched. He’s not wearing his chef whites, just a simple white t-shirt and dark jeans.

“Sorry, I—” you start apologizing as Carmen stands next to you, assessing the damage.

“What—what’re you doing here?” he asks in a very flat voice, staring at the pieces of ceramic.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to tidy this and also pay for the plate, obviously,” you ramble, reaching down for the shards.

“Don’t,” Carmy barks, stopping you by grabbing your shaking hands in his. His hands are big, the tattoos making them look harsh and crude, even though the touch is gentle. “Don’t cut yourself,” he adds quietly, holding you until you relax your arms and then a second longer.

He must sense your nervousness. “It’s fine, I’ll get it,” Carmen assures you, catching your eye. “Hey,” he lays a soft hand on your arm, “step away, I’ll clean this.”

Nodding, you step back and wait patiently, disconcerted, watching as Carmen carefully handles and discards the shards, then checks the floor for any tiny fragments. He turns back to you.

“Are you okay?” he checks.

“Yeah.” And you’re more thrown off balance by having Carmen pay attention to you, all of a sudden, than by damaging the kitchen’s equipment.

He studies you for a moment, his face unreadable, and you’re the one to look away first. Which you hate, by the way.

“You wanna see some stuff I’ve been working on?”

“Sure,” you agree, taking a deep breath to relax further. “I’m sorry. The loud noise—” you wave your hand in the air vaguely, rolling your eyes at yourself. “Just scared the shit out of me, I guess,” you finish with an apologetic smile.

“You’re alright,” Carmen confirms and disappears for a bit. In the meantime, you have a small meltdown, shaking your head at yourself for being so, so very terribly lame. Luckily, before he returns with a tray of different dishes, you pull yourself together.

Carmen sets the tray down, revealing an array of colorful and sophisticated meals that instantly catch your curiosity.

“Any allergies?” he asks.

“Passion fruit—easily avoidable. Sometimes kiwi,” you list. “And grumpy chefs,” you add cheekily, feeling bold.

Carmen pauses. “I’m not grumpy. I’m focused.”

“You weren’t like this in Copenhagen,” you say softly, leaning a bit closer to him, your body language signaling that once you had been comfortable around each other.

“I’m more focused now,” Carmen retorts, stubborn and maybe a bit offended. “Back then I—uhm—I felt comfortable around you. It was easy.”

“And now?” you almost whisper.

But Carmen ignores the question, pushing the first bowl closer to you. “Here, taste this… or take a picture and then taste it.”

And you understand that the re-bonding is over.

---

Soon, you drop the habit of visiting the restaurant only in the mornings. One reason is that spending time with Carmen, talking to him or watching him cook and explain things, makes you late for work twice in a row. That usually never happens as you take pride in being on time at the office. You don’t work at The Bear for money, but you hardly think about it that way. When you decide to pop in during the morning, Carmen shares his deadly strong black coffee that he mills himself with you. It’s bitter but heavenly. Secretly, you like drinking it while chewing your favorite cinnamon gum, which somehow makes the taste even better—smoother and richer.

The second reason—you discover that Carmen is much calmer in the evenings after service. Less jittery, more relaxed. His blood flows slower, you think. His heart pumps with more ease. Sydney and he share thoughts and plans for the restaurant with you while you all sit at an empty table. It’s nice, you think, while watching Carmen’s hands play with a napkin. His hands are especially nice.

It’s Saturday and raining as you find yourself sitting in Gordon Ramsay's Burger. Nothing could’ve surprised you more than Carmen asking you to go out eat together. Had he felt bad for ignoring you at the beginning? You’re watching the rivers of raindrops on the big glass window, waiting for Carmen. As usual, you’re ten minutes early, and after you order a Life’s a Beach, the first thing on your mind is you're just early, he didn't stand you up, and then: this is not a date, babe! Which instantly startles you into sitting up straight and looking around, as if someone could see your embarrassing thoughts. Why are you even thinking about this?? Then Carmen arrives, wet patches on his shoulders and jeans that cling to his thighs. He chooses the Chicago hot dog and three different burgers with a bunch of sides. While he only nibbles on them and writes down notes on his phone, you feel bad for wasting the food and eat more than you should. Carmen studies the buns very carefully and asks you a lot of questions about the food, some of which you find amusing and actually—endearing. When you go to bed that night, your belly’s uncomfortably full. You dream that you’re pregnant and about to go into labor, and you’re pretty sure that Carmen’s the father. And, honestly, do you need a book of dreams to explain the meaning? Fuck.

---

All goes to hell next week when Carmen sees you eating a sandwich from the corner shop down the street. Instead of having your regular lunch with Becky, you’ve chosen to run to The Bear so you could see Marcus unveil his new dessert. But before that, you popped into the nearby deli to order a mozzarella and sundried tomato sandwich. No one at The Bear had ever explicitly invited you to the family meal, and you would never dare to have free food there. But the way Carmen looks at you while you sit on the step by the back exit, eating the rather dry sandwich, is indescribable. The stern look on his face is back, with a closed-off facade. His eyes are cold. Before you take it all in, you wave at him awkwardly, chewing. Carmen retreats back inside wordlessly, leaving you confused and a little hurt.

Unfortunately, the atmosphere surrounding you doesn’t improve when you return to work, the stupid sandwich sitting in your stomach like a heavy stone. You have a big argument in the meeting room while planning the next month's issue. Then one of your co-workers makes a nasty remark about your single life. The afternoon drags on painfully slowly, which forces you to message your cousin—an astrologist extraordinaire—to check what the heck is going on with the universe.

Tuesday morning is rough. The second you wake up, you know you’ve overslept because you never get up without the alarm ringing angrily. A single glance at your phone proves it to be true. Right after, you notice three missed calls from Sydney and two from Nat. There are no text messages, though.

At first, you intend to call Rob to beg for a home office day, something you rarely ever use. But as soon as you check your calendar, you’re reminded of the big conference happening from 11 a.m. until 5 p.m. You rush to work, finishing your makeup on the train, then enter the office building to quickly run through notes with your colleagues. The first time you have a chance to make a quick phone call is when you finally go to the bathroom. It’s Natalie who you manage to reach first, as the lunch rush at The Bear is just unfolding. Over the cries of Natalie’s baby, you hear half-sentences about a recipe, Carmen, and a leak. It’s hard to put it all together. At 4 p.m., Nat finally sends you a text. It says: “Recipe’s published in Taste of Home. Carm’s mad. Says someone leaked it.”

It contains a link to the Taste of Home website, with Carmen’s perfect Berkswell Pudding recipe in the Top Recipes of the Week, marked “Chef’s tip.” You check it again to make sure, and surely—it’s one of the dishes Carmen introduced to you just last week. You didn’t dare to photograph it, much less taste it. You remember concentrating on the way his lips moved when he explained the preparation process, not much on the cooking itself.

What’s clear to you is that the "Someone" from Nat’s message is actually you.

A gloomy dread settles in your stomach as the meeting goes on and on. You barely pay attention, which makes everything even worse. You’re scared of what’s happened in the restaurant, and you’re worried that you’re going to miss something important in the meeting.

When you run for a second quick bathroom break, instead of peeing, you think of your next step. You could try to call everyone in the restaurant, try to find out what the hell is going on. But you don’t want to be seen as hysterical. You check Instagram and possible messages to find traces of a catastrophe. There’s nothing. Again, you open the website with the recipe. The photos are pretty sloppy, definitely not something Carmen would prepare. As you check the ingredients, you notice there are some major differences from Carmen’s dish. All in all, the only thing that stops you from texting Carmen is your pride. And true fear.

Absolutely dreading facing Carmen, you make it to The Bear during dinner time. Which, obviously, is the worst possible timing. You’re only praying that he’s not in the kitchen but hiding in his office, deep in paperwork.

It’s Sydney who you meet first as you sneak into the restaurant through the back door. She grabs your arm.

“Don’t go to talk to him now! He’s in a really, really bad mood. Natalie and I were trying to call you.” There’s genuine worry on Sydney’s face, her eyes big and honest.

“I don’t understand what happened,” you frown. You can feel a headache approaching from the intense day in the office. “I think he should tell me himself if there’s a problem.”

“I’ve been trying to work it out with him, to explain—”

“Explain what?” you question, more sternly than you usually are around Syd.

She falters. “It’s just this stupid thing—and we love having you—don’t let Carmy upset you,” Sydney half-explains. It doesn’t make much sense, and you shake your head, heading to the office. You’re more mad than afraid now.

You don’t wait for an invite after you knock shortly. Closing the door behind you, you find Carmen leaning against the desk, a bottle of water in his hand.

Everything inside of you drops the second he lays his eyes on you. There’s no doubt he’s angry.

“Didn’t Natalie tell you you don’t have to come here again?” Carmen asks curtly. “I’m surprised you think it’s okay to be here.”

Not expecting Carmen to be this harsh from the beginning, you swallow instead of answering.

“I hope that you’re happy now,” he says meanly, putting the bottle down on the desk.

“I don’t—I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you croak out, sincerely meaning it.

Carmen straightens up, watching you like a feline. “The recipe. It’s out. One fucking thing I asked not to get out, and now the whole of America can see and fucking even cook it at home.”

You’re frozen to the spot. From the very beginning, you knew that Carmen is not a person to mess with, hoping that you would never experience his anger directed at you. Now it’s happening.

You want to say something about no one being able to cook the way he does, but it’s pointless. Instead, you’re fighting off the flush on your face from embarrassment. You feel like a child being scolded, but you don’t want to look like one.

The muted but still loud kitchen noises bleed through the closed door. A shout, clattering. Not loud enough to stop Carmen from piercing you through and through with his ice-cold eyes.

“I promise I didn’t do anything like that,” you say, desperately wanting the chef to believe you. “I swear!”

Carmen pinches the bridge of his nose, one hand propped on his waist. You wait, breathless, for his next move, scared to death. The shirt you have on is wet with your sweat. The really badly smelling kind—the one your body produces when you’re stressed or scared. And you’ve been stressed since the very morning. You flinch when you move your arm and the odor hits your nose, hoping that Carmen can’t smell you. You would be mortified. The strap of your tote bag is digging into your shoulder painfully, but you don’t dare to move to put it down to relieve your arm.

“This all doesn’t—it doesn’t make any sense,” Carmen starts pacing, looking down at the floor and not at you anymore. You’re not sure if it’s better this way. “You come here, wanna do a fucking interview with me, or some shit, then you show up again—this time wanting to work here. For free! So, please, tell me—how does it sound, huh?”

Petrified, you realize how exactly it all sounds. When Carmen says it like this, it makes you look like a fraud. Like a terrible, terrible person. A liar. Your mind goes weeks back, back to the moment you actually thought of maybe digging some scoop in here, maybe convincing Carmen to do the interview after all. But it’s far from how he’s making the situation sound.

“Carmen,” you start without knowing what you want to say. Carmen’s stopped walking around the tiny office like a caged animal, and he’s again looking at you. There’s so much tension in his face, back hunched. “It sounds bad, but may I explain—”

“You may not,” he cuts you off briskly. His neck—normally a place you find sexy—is all red, and the thick vein there is getting more and more prominent by the second. “No one fucks with my business, you understand?” Oh—and he’s shouting now.

The natural defense, you didn’t know existed, is to make yourself smaller. Somehow, anyhow. You hang your head, avoiding looking at his face. You just can’t meet his eyes, even though Carmen’s bowing and tilting his head to force you to.

“It’s like I have to start asking the staff to sign an NDA,” he carries on.

Carmen’s getting slowly closer and closer to you, pushing you against the wall by the door. He’s not touching you but only because you’re not allowing it. You’re sick with humiliation. Lost for words, probably for the first time in your life.

“—and Nat fucking leaves me here—us, all of us—and that’s just not fair. I would expect so, so much more from my sister. Not that my brother was much better,” he chuckles humorlessly, but you see it’s more like an effort to catch his breath. “Lousy fuckers… Do you think you do your job well here, chef?”

He’s scaring you now. The hair by his temples and above his forehead is damp, and his gesticulation is wild and weird.

“Do we disgust you here, is that right, hm?” Carmen probably finally sees your frightened expression because he adds, “Why would you buy food somewhere else and then come here to eat it?!” You understand that he’s referring to the day he saw you eating the sandwich by the rear exit. Unsure whether he expects you to reply, you decide to stay quiet. Your knees are starting to shake, from exhaustion after the long day and perhaps, from Carmen’s current behavior.

“It made ME sick,” he says, his face just inches from yours when one of his hands slams into the thin wall right next to your head. The noise echoes in the room, and you’re desperately hoping it’s not loud enough for the others to hear from outside. You would die on the spot if they knew what’s going on here.

“Who do you think you are?” Carmen shouts some more, loud, by your ear. It vibrates through you and never stops. You’re shivering all over, you notice. It’s not okay, not okay!

At last, you raise your head, chin jutting out. “No one’s going to talk to me like this. No one,” you spit out in the chef’s face, taking him by surprise. “Don’t you ever shout at me again,” and you jab him right in the middle of his chest, instead of punching him there like he deserves.

When you’re leaving his office and rushing to the back exit, you hear Carmen yelling.

Everything feels tense and your hands are shaking. Your jaw is set so hard your teeth could crush from the pressure. The fresh air hits your face, and you focus on breathing deeply through your nose. The sounds remind you of a steam engine. You walk for about a minute, mind blank with the shock. Only when you turn a corner do you allow yourself to stop, which causes the first tears to fall. You’re so mad at yourself. Why the fuck are you crying?! There’s so much frustration in the crazy mixture of emotions you’re feeling. You’re completely overwhelmed with it, not knowing what to focus on at first.

Out of habit, you look for your phone in your handbag to check the screen. The fucking heavy bag that’s been killing your shoulder. Frustrated, you let it slide off your arm and down to the sidewalk. You don’t even care if it breaks, as it lands with a noisy, dull sound. It had been years since you got properly yelled at, and you’re angry that it affects you this much. You promise yourself to take a few seconds here, in the middle of an empty street, then call a cab. At home, you can cry.

PART II

[gyudons]

i’m sorry but this is the FUNNIEST THING i’ve ever read… a bunch of academics peering at this wooden dildo and having Intense Discussions about it

GUARDIAN - Archaeologists believe they may have found the only known lifesize Roman dildo, discovered in a ditch in what were the farthest northern fringes of the empire.

If it was not used as a sexual implement then the 2,000-year-old object may have been an erect penis-shaped pestle, or it could have been a feature from a statue that people touched for good luck.

What it definitely is not is what it was catalogued as after its discovery at the Roman fort of Vindolanda in Northumberland in 1992: a darning tool.

“I have to confess,” said Newcastle University archaeology senior lecturer Rob Collins, “part of me thinks it’s kind of self-evident that it is a penis. I don’t know who entered it into the catalogue. Maybe it was somebody uncomfortable with it or didn’t think the Romans would do such silly things.”

If they did think that, they could not be more wrong given that two- and three-dimensional representations of phalli were ubiquitous in the Roman world, whether in mosaics, frescoes, pot decoration or pendants worn around the neck.

The Vindolanda phallus is 16cm long but, researchers say, was probably larger because archaeological wood is prone to shrinkage and warping.

It has been examined by researchers at Newcastle University and University College Dublin. The analysis has revealed it to be, at the very least, the first known example of a disembodied phallus made of wood recovered anywhere in the Roman world.

The phallus was found in a ditch along with dozens of shoes and dress accessories as well as craft waste products such as leather off-cuts and worked antler – perhaps one reason for it being seen as a darning tool.

“What makes this a first is that it is not a small, miniature phallus,” said Collins. “It’s lifesize. It’s also important because wood just doesn’t normally survive … we couldn’t find any parallels.”

The size and uncertainty of function was fascinating, he said. “Often in archaeology when we find an object we can tell what it was used for or deduce what it was used for. That wasn’t the case for this object. We have had to cast our nets wide in thinking what would a six-and-a-half-inch wooden carving of a phallus be used for.

“We had some very interesting discussions.”

Ancient phallic objects were often used for warding off evil. The analysis showed the Vindolanda phallus had notably smoother ends, indicating it was used for something over a period of time.

The team has alighted on three possible theories, all of which are outlined in a detailed discussion paper published in the journal Antiquity.

One theory is that it was used for sexual reasons. That could mean it was a sex toy although some caution is needed, said Collins.

“Sometimes they [dildos] weren’t always used for pleasure … they can be implements of torture so I’m very conscious of using the term sex toy. Hopefully that is what it was used for. That is the most exciting and intriguing possibility.

“If that is the case it would be, to our knowledge, the first Roman dildo that’s been encountered from archaeology. We know from Greek and Roman poetry and Greek and Roman art that they used dildos. But we haven’t had any archaeological examples found which is intriguing in itself.

“If it is that and it is found up here on the northern fringe of the empire and not down in the rich heartland of Roman Italy … it is kind of astounding.”

Theory two is that the object was used as a pestle, either for culinary purposes or to grind cosmetic or medicinal ingredients. Its size would have made it easy to use and the shape would have imbued the food or ingredients with perceived magical properties.

The third option is that it was meant to slot into a statue which passersby would touch for good luck or to absorb or activate protection from misfortune – which was common throughout the Roman empire.

If that was the case, the statue would probably have been located near the entrance to an important building but the evidence indicates that the phallus was either indoors or at least not in an exposed position outside for any length of time.

Researchers hope the Vindolanda phallus will prompt a search for similar objects in other collections. In the meantime it has gone on display at the Vindolanda museum.

[its-a-rat-trap]

(via @/boomtownratsofficial on instagram)

The Boomtown Rats

BOOMING GOOD!

"The Boomtown Rats are 1977 pop," quoted lead singer Bob Geldof, (left), in one of the band's early press releases. He was right! Now, two years later, the band have improved with age and are ready to conquer the world. At present, they're just finishing off their massive tour of America where they've been proving to folks that Ireland doesn't just produce leprechauns!

If you've seen the Rats on television, you'll understand why singer Geldof is known as the group's 'spokesman'. In fact, he's rarely seen with his mouth shut! But then, Bob's always been used to getting his own way and letting his words convince people that he knows best.

"When I was a kid back home, I used to have this treehouse in the back garden. My mates and I would spend lots of time up there, but our main occupation would be getting all the little girls to come up and play," confessed the Rat.

"In Ireland in those days, bubblegum was hard to come by, as it was a new product on the market. But my dad used to be able to get me huge supplies of the stuff on his travels as a salesman. So I'd use the bubble gum to tempt the girls into my tree!"

And where has Bob inherited all his Irish blarney from? His dad, Bob Geldof Senior.

"All our folks just love the success the Rats have had. My dad now keeps getting mail addressed to him to pass on to me. One time someone wrote asking for a signed pic of Bob Geldof. So dad played a smart one. He dug out a photo of himself in his youth, all browned with age (the photo, not dad!), signed the back with love and kisses, and posted it! But he did attach a little note to say, 'Think it's my son, Bob Junior, you were wanting a photo of.'"

In fact, all the Rats' families are keen followers of the group. And drummer Simon Crowe's granny lives next door to guitarist Gerry Cott's parents.

"Gran used to have her radio on all the time listening out for our records to be played," explained Simon. "If one would come on, she'd start rapping really hard on the adjoining wall to Gerry's parents to let them know to turn on the radio!" Keeping it in the family extends to the group itself, too. Pete Briquette and Johnnie Fingers are cousins.

It's amazing when you find out that the boys in The Rats hadn't played seriously with any other groups before joining up to form the Boomtowns.

"I used to be a freelance writer for a rock paper… their Dublin correspondent, no less!" explained Bob. "About the time the punk boom was beginning, we used to occasionally get the bands coming to Ireland to play. One time, we all went to see Eddie And The Hot Rods. Anyway, not one of us was very impressed with them. We though [sic] 'Well, if they can do it then so can we.' So we went out and got ourselves together as a band!"

Together with their manager, Fachtna O'Kelly, another old friend, they set out to conquer London's record companies with their demotapes. The Rats didn't have far to search as everybody was soon vying with each other to sign them. The Rats were also lucky that their first major tour in England was as support to American punk heroes, The Ramones. Another first major concert they played was as support to Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers at London's famous Rainbow Theatre. Press reports after that gig said that the Rats 'stole the show'. The whole band next moved to a house by Whipsnade Zoo, which they all still share when they're not on tour around the world.

If anyone should ask 'Has success changed the Boomtown Rats?' then the answer would be 'Johnnie Fingers still walks around in pyjamas and Bob Geldof is even more talkative than ever!' The group have always said that they're a band out to conquer people everywhere and they've always classed their music as pop. They admit they don't mind doing anything to get some publicity, from the time they drove down the Dublin streets in an open truck, loud music playing, getting arrested in the bargain, to Bob doing photo sessions that call for him to pose with girls for covers of teenage magazines. Or even to bend backwards and hang his head upside-down so the photographer could snap him, mouth agape and tongue hanging out! Yep, there's nothing they won't do if you ask 'em nicely.

And now they've conquered America! They've been knocking 'em in the aisles Stateside with all the old favourites like Rat Trap (their 'anthem' now after its terrific success in Britain last year), Like Clockwork, Do The Rat and all the others.

It would be nice to have a new single from them here, though, wouldn't it? Apparently, one was planned for this spring, but America beckoned, and there wasn't time to produce it - and the boyos weren't too keen on the alternative, lifting another track from Tonic For The Troops.

So for all you Rat fans - keep hoping!

[floorcleaningdublin]

Laminate Floor Cleaning

Laminate flooring is a popular choice for homeowners due to its durability, affordability, and resemblance to hardwood. While it is designed to withstand wear and tear, keeping laminate floors clean is essential to maintain their appearance and extend their lifespan. However, laminate flooring requires a specific cleaning routine, as its surface can be easily damaged by excess moisture or harsh cleaning agents. In this guide, we’ll cover the best practices for cleaning and maintaining laminate floors, including daily care, deep cleaning, and tips for tackling common stains.

Daily Maintenance of Laminate Floors

To preserve the appearance of your laminate floors, it’s important to incorporate daily cleaning habits. Dust, dirt, and debris can accumulate quickly, leading to scratches and dulling the finish over time. Here’s how to keep your laminate floors looking pristine on a daily basis:

Sweeping or Vacuuming One of the simplest and most effective ways to clean laminate floors is by sweeping or vacuuming daily. Use a soft-bristle broom or a vacuum cleaner with a hard floor attachment to remove dirt and dust without scratching the surface. Avoid using vacuums with beater bars, as they can damage the protective layer of the laminate.

Dry Mopping A microfiber dust mop is ideal for picking up fine dust and debris that sweeping or vacuuming may miss. Dry mopping is gentle on laminate floors and helps to keep them free from dirt buildup. It’s especially useful in high-traffic areas where dust accumulates quickly.

Clean Spills Immediately One of the biggest concerns with laminate flooring is moisture. If liquids are left to sit, they can seep between the seams of the laminate planks, causing swelling, warping, or even long-term damage. To prevent this, clean up spills immediately using a soft cloth or paper towel. Avoid using too much water when cleaning up the spill—laminate floors are not waterproof.

Weekly or Routine Cleaning of Laminate Floors

In addition to daily sweeping and mopping, your laminate floors will benefit from a more thorough cleaning at least once a week, depending on the level of foot traffic in your home. Here’s how to clean laminate floors properly without damaging the surface:

Use a Damp Mop For a deeper clean, damp mop the floors using a microfiber mop and a gentle cleaning solution. It’s crucial to wring the mop out thoroughly so that it is only slightly damp. Avoid using excessive water, as too much moisture can damage the laminate. There are specialized cleaners available for laminate floors, but a homemade solution of water and a few drops of mild dish soap can also work effectively.

Avoid Harsh Cleaners Never use harsh cleaners such as bleach, ammonia, or abrasive scrubbers on laminate floors. These products can strip the protective finish, leaving the surface vulnerable to scratches and dullness. Also, avoid waxes or polishes, as they can create a cloudy or greasy residue on the floor.

Spot-Clean Tough Spots For areas with sticky spots or stains, use a slightly damp cloth or a sponge to gently clean the affected area. A small amount of rubbing alcohol or vinegar diluted with water can be effective for removing stubborn stains, but always test it in an inconspicuous area first to ensure it doesn’t damage the floor.

Deep Cleaning Laminate Floors

Occasionally, laminate floors may need a more intensive deep cleaning, particularly in areas with heavy foot traffic or where dirt and grime have built up. However, deep cleaning must be done carefully to avoid damaging the surface.

Use a Steam Mop with Caution While many people opt for steam mops for deep cleaning, they are generally not recommended for laminate floors due to the potential for water damage. If you must use a steam mop, ensure it’s set to the lowest setting and avoid leaving it in one spot for too long. It’s best to check the manufacturer’s guidelines before using a steam mop on laminate flooring.

Use a Laminate Floor Cleaner For deep cleaning, use a cleaner specifically formulated for laminate floors. These cleaners are designed to remove grime without leaving behind residue or harming the surface. Follow the product’s instructions carefully, and make sure to rinse and dry the floor thoroughly after cleaning.

Stain Removal for Laminate Floors

Even with regular care, laminate floors may develop stains over time. Here’s how to tackle common types of stains on laminate flooring:

Ink or Marker Stains For ink or marker stains, use a soft cloth and a small amount of rubbing alcohol. Gently dab the stained area until the ink lifts. Be careful not to scrub too hard, as this could damage the laminate surface.

Grease or Oil Stains For grease or oil stains, use a mild dish soap mixed with warm water. Apply the solution to the stain using a soft cloth or sponge, then rinse and dry the area thoroughly.

Scuff Marks Scuff marks from shoes can be easily removed by gently rubbing the area with a damp cloth or an eraser designed for laminate floors.

Laminate floors are a durable and stylish choice for any home, but they require proper care to maintain their appearance and prevent damage. By sweeping or vacuuming daily, cleaning spills immediately, and using the right cleaning products, you can keep your laminate floors looking new for years to come. Regular maintenance and gentle cleaning methods are key to preserving the beauty and longevity of laminate flooring.

Laminate Floor Cleaning

[azvolrien]

Ireland - Day 9

After yesterday’s Titanic focus, today was mostly given over to the other pillar of Belfast tourism as I went on the Game of Thrones Studio Tour. I left the hotel and walked down to the Visit Belfast centre, where a shuttle bus soon arrived to ferry everyone out to the actual studios at Banbridge some distance outside the city. They run a shuttle from Dublin as well, but obviously that’s a much longer drive so I elected to go from Belfast.

I was surprised by how quiet it was. I’m not sure if first thing on a Wednesday is just a quiet timeslot or if they deliberately limit visitor numbers to a more manageable scale, but I never felt hurried to move on to let someone else read a noticeboard and it was easy to get photos of all the props on display without anyone standing in the way.

They’ve set up a very comprehensive overview of the whole process, from the most basic concept art through to all the CGI they used. It’s pretty generally agreed that the writers fumbled the ball a bit towards the end – even people who didn’t watch the show heard about the backlash to Season 8 – but the writing is only one part (granted, an important one) of a project this size and I’ve always felt that everyone else involved knocked it out of the park (mixing sport metaphors a bit there) from day one to the final wrap.

Costumes make up the bulk of the displays, and seeing them in person rather than through the television makes it much easier to see the incredible amount of thought that went into all the details. The first section focusses on the Wildlings and shows how even though they were generally all wearing furs in muted greys and browns, the designers used small details like bones and mussel shells to distinguish different clans. Costume and set-wise, the tour then moves ‘south’, moving on from the Wildlings to the Night’s Watch at Castle Black, varying the materials involved to show the ranks and roles of the characters even though everything is black. From there we go to Winterfell, Dragonstone and King’s Landing, accordingly with the costumes of characters associated with Houses Stark, Targaryen and Lannister.

In between the costumes are sections focussing on other aspects of production, such as small paper and balsa wood models built to help design the full-size sets, the extensive prosthetics including the full-face mould of the Night King and spookily realistic mannequins of the deceased Jaime and Cersei (probably for the best that they didn’t actually bury the actors alive in rubble for their death scene), and the CGI of the dragons. Turns out, for the most part only the dragons themselves were CGed, represented during filming by a giant foam head on a stick; a lot of the fire effects were done through on-set pyrotechnics such as a flamethrower on a crane and strategically-place charges on the ground. There’s also a good armoury section with a lot of the hero props for different characters’ weapons, as well as one of the giant ‘scorpion’ anti-dragon crossbows, designed in either blissful ignorance or cheerful disregard of how a ballista actually works. It looks cool, though. Then the final room of the tour is given over to the throne room set, mostly destroyed with the bases of broken pillars around the room, but with the iconic Iron Throne still on its dais. Apparently, the props team actually did melt a bunch of swords together for it.

The tour doesn’t take all that long to go around – probably longer if you’re using an audio guide, but I’ve never liked audio guides – and I emerged into the gift shop, where I picked up a few bits and pieces including my usual pin badge and t-shirt before getting a toastie in the foyer cafe and boarding the coach back to Belfast.

We got back to the City Hall at about 2pm, so I nipped back to the hotel to drop off my souvenirs and headed out again to catch a bus down to the Ulster Museum.

It has a pretty good mix of history and science on display. Naturally, there is a section on the Troubles, but proportionally not much more than there is on older history such as the Spanish Armada, the arrival of the Normans, and much older artefacts from Bronze and Stone Age Ireland including some beautifully-carved axe or mace heads. It’s sort of designed so you move back in time as you go through the museum, starting with the Troubles and going all the way back to the most ancient rocks. About halfway through is the skeleton of an Irish elk, posed next to a life reconstruction of the same. Of course, I have never actually seen a live Irish elk, but I’ve seen plenty of other deer and I’m not totally convinced they got the face right on the model. I also feel like the skeletons I’ve seen in Ireland are a bit bigger than the ones we have in the museum at home, but that may just be a trick of the presentation and the varying plinth heights.

The uppermost floors of the museum are more of an art gallery, mostly paintings. I mostly just gave them a brief look, spending slightly more time on the two Caravaggio paintings on loan for a temporary exhibition, but I did like the three wicker dragons they have suspended in the atrium.

I took the bus back into the city centre and got a coffee at the Tim Hortons on Donegall Square, mainly out of curiosity as I genuinely had no idea they traded outside Canada. It was OK, but I wouldn’t say it was any better than what I’d get in a Caffé Nero.

I’d intended to head back out for my last dinner in Belfast, but the restaurant I’d had my eye on turned out to be fully booked for the whole evening so I just went back to the one in the hotel. Admittedly, the menu looked fairly similar, so the other place would likely have just been a bit more expensive for much the same meal.

My flight back to Edinburgh tomorrow isn’t until the afternoon, but between packing up, checking out and getting out to the airport in good time I doubt I’ll have any left over for more tourism in the morning, so unless anything interesting happens on the way to the airport I think I’ll wrap my diary up here.

My brief trip to Portugal earlier this year notwithstanding, I haven’t had a self-guided holiday since Berlin in 2018. A tour group is good for seeing a wider area, but as far as city breaks go I definitely prefer the freedom of being a solo act; I like being able to stop and look at whatever I want to see without having to confer with travelling companions, and I think you sometimes turn up hidden gems that way.

A couple of days of more decent weather have improved my impression of Belfast, but overall I think the less industrial atmosphere of Dublin suited me better; on top of just having more that I was interested in seeing, the city’s buildings don’t feel like they loom in the same way and lend it a less claustrophobic feel on the whole.

Also, not that this was really Belfast’s fault, but I’m still annoyed about the visitor centre at the Giant’s Causeway.

[Nothing interesting happened on the way to the airport.]

[printzoo]

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Folded Leaflet Printing Your Marketing Ally

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Folded leaflets are a versatile marketing tool that can be used in various promotional activities. Whether you're launching a new product, announcing a special event, or simply spreading the word about your business, folded leaflets are an effective way to reach your target audience. PrintZoo's folded leaflet printing in Dublin are designed to help you create impactful marketing materials that grab attention and deliver your message effectively.

Eye-Catching Designs

In a world saturated with advertisements, capturing your audience's attention is crucial. PrintZoo excels in creating eye-catching folded leaflets that stand out from the competition. Their design team collaborates with you to understand your goals and target audience, ensuring that the final product aligns with your marketing strategy. Vibrant colors, striking graphics, and well-crafted layouts make PrintZoo's folded leaflets a powerful tool for any marketing campaign.

Cost-Effective Marketing

One of the significant advantages of folded leaflets is their cost-effectiveness. Compared to other forms of advertising, such as digital marketing or large-scale print ads, folded leaflets offer a high return on investment. They are relatively inexpensive to produce, yet they can reach a wide audience when distributed strategically. PrintZoo's competitive pricing and bulk printing options make it easy for businesses of all sizes to take advantage of this efficient marketing medium.

Why Choose PrintZoo for Folded Menus and Leaflets in Dublin

Expertise and Experience

PrintZoo has established itself as a trusted name in the printing industry in Dublin. With years of experience and a team of skilled professionals, they deliver exceptional quality and service. Their expertise in folded menu and leaflet printing ensures that you receive products that meet your exact specifications and exceed your expectations.

State-of-the-Art Technology

PrintZoo invests in the latest printing technology to provide superior results. Their state-of-the-art equipment allows for precision and consistency in every print job. Whether you need a small batch or a large volume, PrintZoo can handle your order with efficiency and accuracy.

Customer-Centric Approach

At PrintZoo, customer satisfaction is a top priority. They work closely with clients to understand their needs and provide tailored solutions. From the initial design consultation to the final delivery, PrintZoo's dedicated team is committed to making your printing experience seamless and enjoyable.

In conclusion, if you're looking to enhance your brand's visibility and engagement in Dublin, PrintZoo's Folded Menus and Folded Leaflet Printing services are the way to go. With their focus on quality, customization, and customer satisfaction, PrintZoo ensures that your marketing materials make a lasting impression. Elevate your business with PrintZoo and see the difference that professional printing can make.

[theohonohan]

The Creation of Quaternions

Growing up in Dublin, I was aware at an early age of talk of quaternions and pride in their discoverer William Rowan Hamilton. Unfortunately, this pride didn't translate into widely promulgated and accessible introductions to quaternions. There was instead a lot of insecure narcissistic celebration of the fame of quaternions (see this sort of thing). I can't blame Dubliners for feeling the need to bolster pride in Irish mathematical achievements, but it is all a bit empty without an insight into the mathematics itself.

I recently came across this introduction to the quaternion story in Stuart Hollingdale's Makers of Mathematics, a book I found on a reading list for prospective maths students. Here's the section about the discovery of quaternions. (Hollingdale does tell the Brougham Bridge part of the story, but I'm not including that.)

The Creation of Quaternions

The recognition that the real numbers can be interpreted as points along a line and the complex numbers as points in a plane led naturally to the search for ‘hypercomplex’ numbers that could be represented by points in three-dimensional space. In 1833 Hamilton read a paper to the Royal Irish Academy in which he pointed out that the plus sign in \(a + ib\) was a misnomer, as \(a\) and \(ib\) cannot be added arithmetically. Following Gauss, he proposed that a complex number should be regarded as an ordered pair of real numbers \((a, b)\) which obey certain operational rules, in particular \[ (a,b) + (c,d) = (a+c, b+d) \quad \text{(addition)} \] \[ (a,b).(c,d) = (ac - bd, ad + bc) \quad \text{(multiplication)} \] (Remember that \(i^2 = -1.\)) Hamilton then sought to extend this idea to ordered ‘number triples’, \((a, b, c)\), to be written as \(a + ib + jc\), where \(i\) and \(j\) are two distinct and independent square roots of \(-1\). The problem defeated him for many years: he could add and subtract his triples, but he could not multiply them. With hindsight, the source of the difficulty is not hard to pin down. The geometrical effect of multiplying one complex number by another is to change the length (or modulus) of the corresponding directed line (or vector) and to rotate it in the complex plane. In the polar coordinate representation of complex numbers, the ‘product’ of \((r_1 cos \theta, r_1 sin \theta)\) and \((r_2 cos \phi, r_2 sin \phi)\) is \[ (r_{1}r_{2}cos(\theta + \phi), r_{1}r_{2}sin(\theta + \phi)) \]

Since the direction of the axis of rotation is determined (it is normal to the complex plane), only one ‘length change’ and one rotational parameter are needed, i.e. two altogether. In three dimensions, however, we need two parameters to specify the direction of the axis of rotation, a third to determine the amount of rotation and a fourth to specify the change of length. The need to specify four parameters means that it is not possible to ‘multiply’ one ordered number triple by another. Hamilton knew, of course, that when a complex number \(a + ib\) is multiplied by its conjugate, \(a - ib\), the product is the positive real number \(a^2 + b^2\): the square of the modulus of either number. Let us consider the analogous operation for number triples. If we multiply \(a + ib + jc\) by \(a - ib - jc\), we find that most of the product terms cancel out and we are left with \[ a^2 + b^2 + c^2 - 2ijbc \]

Hamilton’s difficulty lay in the existence of the product term. Setting \(ij = 0\) will not do, because \(ij.ij = i^2.j^2 = (-1).(-1) = 1\), so we have a contradiction. After pondering the matter for many years, he noticed that the product term actually consists of two terms, namely \(-ijbc\) and \(-jibc\). If we assume that \(ij = -ji\), the unwanted term disappears. The crucial insight, which came to Hamilton in a sudden flash, as we shall see shortly, was the realization that he could break the commutative law of multiplication and still be left with a consistent mathematical structure. The next question is: what is \(ij\) itself? Now, \[ ij.ij = i(ji)j = - i(ij)j = -(i^2)(j^2) = -(-1)(-1) = -1 \] so it appears that \(ij\) is yet another independent square root of \(-1\); let us call it \(k\). As the product of two number triples will, in general, involve this new ‘imaginary’ number \(k\), we are led at once to the concept of ‘number quadruples’ \((a, b, c, d)\) of the form \(a + ib + jc + kd\), where \(i^2 = j^2 = k^2 = -1\). These three square roots of \(-1\) have a symmetrical relationship: \[ ij = k, jk = i, ki = j \quad \text{and} \quad ji = -k, kj = -i, ik = -j \] Since \(ij = k\), the result \(ijk = -1\) follows at once. Hamilton called these number quadruples quaternions. They obey all the fundamental laws of arithmetic with the single exception of the commutative law of multiplication. The operation of division can be defined by using the fact that \[(a + ib + jc + kd).(a - ib - jc - kd) = a^2 + b^2 + c^2 + d^2 \] A quaternion can be used as an operator to change any directed line from the origin in three-dimensional dimensional space into any other such line. The four numbers \(a, b, c\) and \(d\) are sufficient for the purpose, whereas number triples are not.

[discounttillrolls]

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[guesthypebusinessfinance]

Accountant David Heath moved into the fintech area to arrange Circit, which streamlines the compliance course of for auditors. He talks to Nick Mulcahy concerning the firm’s plans and the way it overcame its funding dilemma. It’s typically mentioned that the very best new business ideas sort out and remedy a ache level, and all the higher if the problem is international. That method should you show the idea in a small market like Eire then funders will present the sources to take the enterprise abroad. David Heath’s Circit ticks all these bins, which is why in a interval of six years he went from begging for capital to having giant VCs competing to speculate. Folks outdoors the accounts audit sector have little concept of the massive paper path concerned in audit compliance. If an organization’s finish of yr accounts and even its financial institution assertion present €500,000 within the stability sheet, the auditor has to hunt affirmation of that quantity from the financial institution. Meaning drawing up letters for the consumer to signal, getting them again and forwarding them to the financial institution, which has a big division coping with lots of of hundreds of comparable requests. The process provides delay and trouble when paper goes lacking. David Heath, a category of 2007 B.Comm graduate from UCD, obtained to know this concern when ending his chartered accountancy coaching with Grant Thornton. In 2011, Heath (37) moved on to a smaller agency Somers Murphy & Earl for 3 years, after which spent a yr with AutoEntry earlier than stepping out for consultancy whereas he formulated the Circit blueprint. The Circit concept is to sit down in the midst of the compliance course of. By way of Circit, the auditor connects instantly into the financial institution for the affirmation it's looking for. Paper is totally faraway from the method, and in addition to banks the platform connects on to solicitors, brokers and funds firms for fast affirmation of firm checking account balances. To outsiders, Circit illustrates how the method works with its annual accounts submitting within the CRO. The ultimate web page of the ‘Certificates of Completion’ is a listing of requests to account signatories, with time and date and even IP tackle, and the timestamp for the signatures effected. On this method, the certificates particulars ‘Safety Occasions’ and a Consumer Audit Path. Ulster Financial institution was the primary financial institution in Eire to understand what Circit was as much as and work with the corporate in addition to putting in it in Dogpatch Labs, the Dublin accelerator. Circit Ltd was integrated in July 2015 and the product was launched in October 2017. Heath recollects that the toughest half at first was rounding up €150,000 from 5 particular person buyers to attract down matched funding from Enterprise Eire in 2016 and 2017. A significant fillip was Circit’s approval by the Central Financial institution in 2019 as the primary Account Data Providers Supplier (AISP) in Eire below the PSD2 regulation. “This accelerated Circit’s traction with direct integrations to banks throughout Europe and positioned us with a singular proposition because the verification layer for conventional monetary belongings and the following wave of Open Banking and decentralised finance,” Heath explains. Heath says that his conviction across the Circit proposition was his perception that guide compliance processes wouldn't proceed indefinitely. “If we didn’t remedy it, another person would, in some unspecified time in the future. It was a comparatively small drawback that might undoubtedly be mounted, and the answer has a world utility. That was the start line,” say Heath. “What we might see on the horizon was open banking turning into a regulation that may permit the connectivity to the backend of banking programs.” For Circit to progress, there needed to be buy-in from banks and auditors, and an inevitable rooster or egg state of affairs.

“Each financial institution would ask what number of auditors do you've, and each auditor would ask what number of banks? Nonetheless, we're an auditor first play when it comes to our technique. They're the paying prospects and we innovate for them within the first occasion. The extra quantity that got here from the auditors, the extra banks and regulation companies would enroll.” Whereas Heath had auditor area perception, he needed to brush up on the tech facet. He secured an internet applied sciences diploma qualification from Nationwide Faculty of Eire in 2013 and undertook a databases course at Stanford the identical yr. “That allowed me to know sufficient about what's potential and to information the tech crew in direction of the answer,” says Heath. “I've sat within the seat of the customers that we're promoting to, and I can bridge the hole to the code that must be constructed.” The AISP regulation piece meant that Circit might join into backend programs with out having to promote the product to particular person banks. The corporate took benefit of a regulation associated to funds, and it proved to be a “large accelerator”, in accordance with Heath. Scaling start-ups can burn by means of money, and Circit is a working example. On the finish of 2019, Circit had run up buying and selling losses of €560,000 on the again of €550,000 fairness invested and a €200,000 mortgage. Web present liabilities have been €30,000 and Heath was worrying about assembly payroll. “That Christmas I bear in mind being within the children' bed room and desirous about the €20,000 money we had left to pay eight people. We had been speaking to the Irish VCs on the time and turned down their supply due to the phrases. We have been seeking to the brand new yr, as our income will increase in January and February. So we determined to carry out, which appeared like a horrible choice when Covid hit in March 2020.” In reality Covid was nice for Circit, as everybody scrambled to automate and cease dealing with paper. Heath reached out to Cloudmover principal Harry Largey, and in June 2020 the ship was steadied with a €850,000 funding spherical. Largey invested €250,000 by means of Commodore Investments, with related quantities sourced type an Angels fund and Bob Energy and household. The money got here in useful as Circit expanded the crew and booked a lack of €530,000 for 2020. The Circit crew In 2021, headcount expanded from 14 to 24 people, Circit’s end-year tax liabilities rose to €440,000 from €100,000, and taxpayer funding by means of Enterprise Eire elevated to €500,000. Web loss for the yr was €960,000 and unfavorable internet value in December 2021 €660,000. The hat would undoubtedly should be handed round once more. Heath had discovered his lesson from the aborted pre-Covid fundraiser. He turned has consideration to VCs outdoors Eire, amongst them New York fintech buyers Aquiline, and Middlegame Ventures, primarily based in Luxembourg and with workplaces in London, Washington DC and Dublin. Heath’s pitch was that Circit was up and operating, and that as a regulated AISP the platform may very well be deployed throughout Europe, in addition to in Australia and the US. “We had prospects in all of these areas. We simply did not have the sources to fulfill the demand. The elevate was actually to rent the crew to assist us develop,” says Heath. Heath approached Aquiline instantly. “It is not so tough to get the primary assembly, nevertheless it's tough to make them excited on condition that they've loads of choices for investing their cash. We have been very eager on Aquiline due to their fintech experience and the potential partnerships they'll convey. “Middlegame share our imaginative and prescient about the way forward for digital belongings and prompt verification of these belongings. They're each nice companions and we did have competitors in that spherical. We made errors beforehand, as you want a number of affords to get the deal over the road.

“We discovered the laborious lesson the primary time round that should you solely discuss to 1 VC, they simply gradual play you for so long as they'll. The second time round we felt we did it proper, and it turned out the timing was good as properly.” In Could 2022, Aquiline and Middlegame every invested €2.5m in Circit Ltd, giving Heath the runway to rent further workers to propel quick development. Serving to him out are former Grant Thornton colleagues Clodagh Vance, COO, and John Behan, CFO, together with CTO Sean Kenny. VCs demand metrics going in a single path, and Heath describes the expertise as “very thrilling”. He provides that the various, close-knit crew is “loving the journey”, with the agency recruiting for software program engineers, in addition to gross sales and buyer success roles. Most well-liked hires embrace people with an accountancy background. “They perceive the issue and understand it properly, they usually can assist when it comes to product improvement and on the gross sales facet. For the accountant who desires a profession change, Circit is a pleasant hybrid the place they do not transfer away from accounting fully whereas buying an entire set a brand new expertise.” Picture: David Heath

[floorcleaningdublin]

Travertine Floor Cleaning

Travertine floors are a popular choice for homes and commercial spaces due to their elegant and natural appearance. This type of stone flooring, known for its durability and timeless beauty, offers a luxurious look with its earth-toned shades and unique textures. However, like all natural stone floors, travertine requires specific care and maintenance to preserve its aesthetic appeal and longevity. In this guide, we'll cover the best practices for travertine floor cleaning to ensure your floors remain in pristine condition.

Understanding Travertine Flooring

Travertine is a form of limestone that forms around mineral spring deposits. It’s often used in tiles for flooring due to its rich, warm colors and textured surface. However, because travertine is a porous stone, it is more susceptible to stains, scratches, and damage compared to harder materials like granite. This porous nature means that travertine floors need regular cleaning and maintenance to avoid absorbing dirt, liquids, or oils that could lead to permanent staining or deterioration.

Daily Cleaning for Travertine Floors

The key to maintaining travertine floors is regular, gentle cleaning. Dirt, grit, and debris can act like sandpaper when walked on, scratching the stone's surface and dulling its natural shine. For everyday cleaning:

Sweeping or Vacuuming: Use a soft-bristle broom or a vacuum with a hard floor attachment to remove dust and dirt. Avoid vacuum cleaners with rotating brushes, as they can scratch the floor’s surface.

Damp Mopping: After sweeping, use a damp mop with warm water to clean the surface. Make sure the mop is only slightly damp, as too much water can seep into the stone and cause damage over time. For best results, use a mop designed for natural stone floors to avoid scratching.

pH-Neutral Cleaners: When necessary, use a pH-neutral stone cleaner specifically formulated for travertine floors. Harsh chemicals, acidic cleaners (like vinegar), or abrasive cleaners can erode the surface, causing etching or discoloration. Always follow the manufacturer's instructions when using cleaning products, and rinse the floor thoroughly after mopping to remove any residue.

Dealing with Spills and Stains

Travertine’s porous surface makes it vulnerable to stains if spills are not addressed promptly. Here’s how to deal with common spills:

Blot Spills Immediately: Quickly blot (don’t rub) any liquid spills with a soft cloth or paper towel to prevent them from seeping into the stone. Rubbing can spread the spill and cause it to penetrate deeper into the pores.

Use a Mild Detergent: For most stains, a solution of water and mild, pH-neutral detergent will do the trick. Apply the solution with a soft cloth and gently wipe the area clean. Be sure to rinse with water to remove any soap residue, as it can attract more dirt.

Stubborn Stains: For tougher stains, you may need to use a specialized poultice designed for natural stone. Poultices draw out the stain from the stone’s pores and are available from most home improvement or flooring stores. Always test a small, inconspicuous area before applying any cleaner or poultice to ensure it doesn't affect the stone's finish.

Polishing and Sealing Travertine Floors

Travertine floors naturally have a soft, matte finish, but they can be polished to a higher shine depending on your preference. Polishing helps to restore the stone's natural luster and can be done periodically to rejuvenate the floor’s appearance.

Polishing: Professional polishing services can buff out minor scratches and restore shine, but you can also use a mild stone polishing powder and a soft buffing pad at home. Be sure to use products that are specifically designed for travertine, as other products may damage the surface.

Sealing: Because travertine is porous, it’s important to seal the floor to protect it from stains and water damage. Sealers create a protective barrier that reduces the stone's absorption of liquids, making it easier to clean. Travertine floors should be sealed once or twice a year, depending on foot traffic and exposure to moisture. Always use a high-quality stone sealer designed for travertine.

Enhancing Sealers: Some sealers also enhance the color and natural veining of the stone, giving your travertine floors a richer, deeper appearance. These sealers can add a subtle sheen while protecting the floor from wear and tear.

Avoiding Common Mistakes in Travertine Floor Cleaning

To keep your travertine floors looking their best, it’s important to avoid common cleaning mistakes:

Avoid Acidic Cleaners: Never use vinegar, lemon juice, or other acidic substances on travertine, as they can cause etching and dull the surface.

Don’t Use Harsh Scrubbing Pads: Abrasive pads and steel wool can scratch and damage the stone. Stick to soft cloths, microfiber mops, and gentle cleaning tools.

Watch for Water Buildup: Excess water can seep into travertine’s pores and cause damage. Always use a well-wrung mop and promptly wipe up any water spills.

Travertine floors add a touch of elegance and natural beauty to any space, but they do require regular care to maintain their pristine appearance. By using the right cleaning techniques and products, such as pH-neutral cleaners, and regularly sealing the stone, you can ensure that your travertine floors stay beautiful for many years to come. With proper cleaning and maintenance, your travertine flooring will continue to enhance the beauty and value of your home or commercial space.

[miclient]

How E-signer can increase your workflow tracking

What is an e-signer?

E-signatures, also known as electronic signatures, are a fast and legitimate way to sign papers electronically. They provide a secure and reliable alternative to handwritten signatures and can be used in place of them in many processes. An electronic signature serves as a person's declaration that they agree with the information in the document or set of data that it relates to. It is a legal concept that expresses the signatory's desire to be bound by the provisions of the signed document.

There are many circumstances where the use of electronic signatures is necessary. Qualified electronic signatures can be used in any setting, including cross-border transactions, where handwritten signatures are required by law, as their legal effects are identical to those of handwritten signatures. Examples include;

Contracts (sales, employment, lease, insurance, etc.)

Transactions (e-commerce, online banking, etc.)

Administrative procedures (tax declarations, requests for birth certificates, etc.)

The E-Signature building block supports the use of cross-border interoperable electronic signatures in Europe. This means that a Greek entrepreneur can sign a permit application in Helsinki and expect it to be recognized by public authorities in Dublin. Electronic signatures that can be used internationally are supported by the E-Signature building block. This implies that a Greek businessman can sign a permission application in Helsinki and anticipate that Dublin's government will accept it.

What are the Benefits of E-signature?

Reliable: E-signatures are accepted and enforceable all over the world.

Convenient: The signing procedure will be streamlined by enabling electronic signatures from recipients. Time spent on transactions can be cut in half using contract MiCLIENT Signer.

Economical: Saving money and streamlining corporate processes are also benefits of using e-signatures. By using less paper using MiClient Sign, you can save a lot on each transaction.

What are electronic signatures used for?

Electronic signatures are utilized across a variety of industries and departments, providing numerous benefits such as increased efficiency and productivity. Here are some examples of how electronic signatures are used:

Sales

Electronic signatures remove the guesswork from signing NDAs and sales contracts, allowing sales teams to focus on selling. When a contract is received and opened, the team can quickly view it and, once signed, continue with the sales process.

Human Resource

With electronic signatures, employees can easily view and sign documents from anywhere, enhancing productivity and impressing job applicants. Onboarding can be streamlined by allowing new hires to sign all necessary documents at once.

Financial Services

Utilize seamless, paperless experiences to securely capture and distribute critical information that today's customers need. Your financial staff can use electronic signatures to authorize purchase orders, sign off on budgets, and approve invoices.

Information Technology

Digital and automated e-sign and approval workflows can be enabled for teams and departments throughout an organization.

Marketing

Marketing teams quickly transition from idea to campaign by obtaining electronic signatures from executives both internally and externally through third-party agencies.

Legal

The legal department can benefit from using electronic signatures that adhere to industry standards for encryption and security. Nondisclosure agreements and other contracts that require signatures can be signed quickly and securely, freeing up legal team members to focus on more critical work.

Why an e-signature is more secure than a wet signature?

E-signatures are more secure than wet signatures. They have numerous layers of protection and verification built into them, as well as transaction proof that can be used in court. E-signature service providers can provide an electronic record that acts as an audit trail and verification of the transaction, unlike wet signatures. This audit trail can address any complaints if one of the signers questions the validity of their signature or if there are any doubts regarding the transaction.

In conclusion, electronic signatures can benefit almost every aspect of life. There are no restrictions on when and where you can use them, unless your country of residence specifies otherwise.