#pearlssecrets

[thunderbabybear]

“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid." from Lydia :3

Pearls was anxious, her heart fluttered in her chest, rattling in her ribs and her hands knotted into fists, holding tightly onto her green jumpsuit. She stared briefly at the mirror ahead of her, awkwardly averting her own gaze, she couldn't bear to look at her warped reflection, she had shuffled quietly away from the party just moments ago and now she felt hopelessly lost.

Her small frame looked twisted and contorted in the dim lights of the maze, she turned on the ball of her foot, doubting herself, ready to rejoin the party. It had only been a few moments since she broke away, she was beckoned away by Lydia towards this section of the maze but her mind is filled with dread.

"This was a bad idea, I shouldn't have come this way... It must've been a trick of the mirrors", she mumbles under her breath. Her mind fogged with the guilt of sneaking around, making bad decisions in the hopes of regaining what was lost to her.

Slowly the fear rising in her creeps up again. She couldn't see any trace of her party in the tracks behind her, she wasn't sure which direction they went, she wondered if they'd even notice her go, her mind a frenzy. She listened intently but there was nothing but faint scraping, and creaking. "What if I die in here... What if they leave without me?...", her whispers as she thought aloud breaking the silence around her. Pearls mind raced back to the school, and the dark abandoned hallways filled with ghosts and monsters. She thought to scream, she thought to alert the party, but what if she called something else here, while she was all alone? The creeping feeling of being watched, hunted, and stalked washes over her.

Salty tears threatened to spill from her eyes, she crouched and held her knees and tucked her arms close to her body. Her small fingers gripping onto the raven feather adorning her from the Raven Queen as she silently begins a prayer. Pearls nearly leapt from her skin, when she heard the slow methodical steps approaching her. To her right a voice broke through the sound of her shallow breathing. "You know Pearls..." a silky murmur called out to her, "There's nothing wrong with being afraid".

When she snapped her head up she locked her eyes to the dark hallway of mirrors. At the end a faint vision of a woman, she couldn't be made out well in the light but Pearls knew this is who she came for. Despite all the warning signs, all the harrowing stories, the hair standing up on end when she heard the voice, Pearls knew, this was the woman who would help her, this is who could return her dads. As she stood back up she brushed the tears off her face and nodded, walking down the narrow corridor towards Lydia. The sounds of her footfalls on the dry, dingy wooden floors beneath her steps steady her breathing.

Pearls with every step feels an old saying of Antolio's ring in her ears alongside the thud of her heart, "Fear is there to let us know we're still alive, being scared means there's still something left to lose".

Her eyes finally meet Lydia's at the end of the path. Lydia stands before her, dressed smartly, a tidy little clown dress and appropriately fitting makeup, that begin to ease Pearls mind on the dangers that face her. Pearls looks at her longingly, reaching out for a hug, or any grip of confidence, any touch of kindness, and any sign she hasn't stepped into a trap that will lead to a swift death.

Pearls knows there's danger here, it weighs heavily in her gut, her intuition says run, but with a face like that, how could you not trust Lydia.... After all... There's nothing wrong with being a little scared....

[thunderbabybear]

“did you eat today?”

Pearls tugs at the hem of her dress, and bunches it between her fingers. Dropping her face to the floor for a moment silently she stares at the ground. She usually likes when adults check in on her, she wants to feel loved and cared for, after all everyone deserves to be loved. These days the questions come frequently however, and even "did you eat?", turns in her ears to "your dad wanted me to take care of you".

When she finally lets the air out of her chest that she unknowingly held in, she looks back up. When she was first acquainted with the party her life shined in her eyes, her hair glossy and always well maintained, her posture was always upright and giddy; but now in the weight in an adventure and grief she's held onto quietly she looked flat. Her hair while still in buns would sometimes be lopsided, or burst out from the elastic holding it in, she insisted every morning only she could touch it today, she didn't like how anyone else did it, nobody else could be as gentle and perfect as Kravitz. Her usually painted nails were chipped, and despite the party's best attempts, and her best attempts to hide it, the despair she felt finally bubbles to the surface.

Her silence was met again with, "Did you eat today?"

Her eyes welling with tears, her stomach gnawing on itself tirelessly, she shakes her head no. She knows that Nimbra would help her if she only asked, she knows the whole party would. But how do you tell them you don't want to eat their grilled cheeses, or their tea and cookies because it doesn't taste like daddies anymore?

When the party sits to eat she picks through her food and eats, she thanks her friends extra today for making her food. She says a prayer under her breath at the table.

"Raven Queen.... Istus ... I miss you.... Please bless my friends, and this lunch"

[thunderbabybear]

22. Does your character trust people right off the bat or does it take them some time to warm up to someone?

"I'm always trying to make new friends! Sometimes bad people just need friends to be a little better, its like learning to tie your shoes!"

Pearls is way too trusting! She could get kidnapped in broad daylight if someone said they lost their cat and asked her to help them find it. (Please keep a good eye on her!) Though she should be skeptical of people she wants to believe that good in people is like a little seed, and they just need love to let it blossom! She especially loves to make friends with people who seem sad and she gravitates like a magnet to the lost and broken souls. She might not know it herself but she might be as sad, lonely and broken as the people around her. No matter how full her contact list she still feels a kind of lonely heartbreak she wants to fill.

Pearls warms up to people in an instant but only surface level friendships. Even Antolio couldn't always get her to share her fears and anxieties with him. She doesn't know how to share her own feelings with many people but Kay can always bully them out of her!

[thunderbabybear]

🍻

🍻- For something bad/mischievous you did as a child or teen that your parents don’t know about

"Oh gosh! Something bad I did that dads don't know about--well, I guess there's a few things..."

This kind of question used to be so easy for Pearls, she is always so well behaved, minds her manners, lets her friends cheat at board games to win, and likes to be friends with anyone she can. But now that Antolio and Kravitz were gone, she's been thinking about it a lot. She's had bouts of guilt and confusion, and the things that could be brushed off as childish antics feel more disastrously heavy lies to her.

"I guess sneaking around in the wagon after they, um... is probably the worst thing I've done."

She sighs and looks down, "But I know I've been bad other ways too.. Like I asked Kay for advice because Dad used to make this drink, he called it Horange juice... and just between us, sorry, I never really liked it. Kay told me that when her dads made her things she didn't like she'd feed it to the rappigs or throw it out. Well I tried to give it to Iren, dad's rappig, but even he didn't like it. So I acted like I spilled it, I got juice all over the table, and my dress. I felt so upset I ended up helping clean up the mess and dad thought I was sad about the juice so he just ended up making more. Maybe I should have just told him..."

"Well there's just one more thing but PROMISE YOU WON'T TELL!"

"... I found a gun!"