#pete chapter still a work in progress i'm trying y'all

[thehigh-waytohell]

Final revision of season 1 hell yeah you guys know the drill patch notes are below (also apologies that this one took forever I kept walking away from the computer due to the physical full body cringe and forgetting for weeks):

Clarified some points of Joe and Andy’s plan to make it canon compliant and in line with the previous chapter

Lowered the original needlessly high emotions of Andy and Andrea in their hotel room with a not-crying baby

Made Patrick blood loss symptoms a little more apparent (what can I say i’m a stump-whump girlie before all else)

Removed pete’s weird simile about rotten fish (I literally make a joke about how he can’t lie and no human being would smell like this after not showering for a few days that’s like… a decomposition smell, not a sweat thing)

Removed implication that Pete was somehow finding time to sleep with their captor

Removed dialogue stolen from “The Social Network” 

No longer imply that patrick has a thing for hannah/pete

Attempts have been made to tone down melodrama

Fixed all the dialog in Joe vs the two vampires because my god. Why was I allowed to write.

“Living” vampire corrected to “other” vampire as vampires in my cannon aren’t “alive” per se

Added “like the world’s worst, goriest scarf” because that seems like the sort of fun descriptor that The Kids (™) are into

(y’all andy girlies must be so starved for content the andy sections were Not Well Written)

Tried to better balance Patrick being an adult man who probably does not want to have a breakdown in front of everyone with Patrick being a human teenager who graduated high school like a year before this particular trauma (aka toning down the infantilism while still making it abundantly clear that he is young and Going Through It)

Turned a lot of lengthy sentences into shorter sentences because boy howdy can I abuse commas