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#petty life aint much but its honest work
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Refusing to swap my opening shift tomorrow with my co-worker's closing shift even tho I prefer closing and would rather go into work later and get stuff done before my shift as oppose to being tired after work and getting nothing done when I get home purely bc my coworker said she hates closing and I fucking hate her and will happily inconvenience myself if it also ruins her day.
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rkyooa · 6 years
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damn, rookies.
okay children, here we go.
i’m putting this under a read more cause, well, this isn’t going to be completely positive, in fact it’ll probably be a good 50/50 positive and negative. we’ve been asked to write about rookies for this fifth year anniversary. it’s amazing that this rp has lasted so long and seems to be the only active, successful roleplay on tumblr to have any kind of significant longevity, so i feel it’s only right to be honest when writing this. rookies has done a lot for me, and this includes both positive and negative things. each person’s experience is different, some will have really great experiences and some will have really negative ones, some will fall on the spectrum in between. i’m definitely in between. i’m gonna do this in a ‘rookies has taught me blank’ kind of way, just so that i can keep a silver lining in the picture, even with the negative. if you relate, then great, let’s chat and bond over it. if not, i hope my experiences help you so you don’t have to go through any of the same hardships i have. 
here we go
rookies has taught me resilience. it’s the first thing that comes to mind, because as much as this community has some amazing people who are supportive and uplift others, there is some really toxic stuff that has happened within the walls of this roleplay. sometimes it’s out of our control, and bad stuff just happens, and that’s okay, so long as we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and move on. upon joining rookies, i had made yooa and hugo. hugo was a muse already conjured and in the works before he had officially joined, and he was in all honestly, made specifically for a friend’s muse here. yooa was plotted to have a long term ship from the get go as well, and both ships were integral parts of their muses. i lost both of them, nearly at once, and it quite literally took a chunk out of me. i never blamed the roleplayers for doing that, because i understood why they needed to leave. getting upset at them wouldn’t have changed anything either, so i just accepted it. i won’t say i didn’t suffer from it though, because i most certainly did. for a while i had no idea what to do with hugo. yooa, she had a bit of a purpose, because she wanted to be a model and an idol, but hugo especially was so hard to come back from on. failed ships or people leaving happened multiple times after that as well, but because of the initial loss of people i thought would never leave, the impact wasn’t nearly as bad, i was able to weather it and accept it, and move on ic. now i’m so understanding and don’t really get hurt when i lose ships or rp partners, i’m able to just be okay with it and look forward to the next ship or thread or endeavour. i’ve applied this to strictly ooc things as well. i’ve lost friends within rookies. people have stopped talking to me because of things that have happened concerning rookies. it sucks, i don’t like it, but i accept it. i’m becoming more and more thick skinned and level headed by the day. i can take blows and dish back kindness now, and i’m pretty proud of that. the only thing i’m still struggling with is the amount of netizen smack talk or belittling that suho got during the mgas. everyone loved to hate him, and while it’s just unofficial ic stuff, it did still get to me, hence why i stopped writing on my own netizen (and have since even deleted her account). the reason that specifically got to me is very unique to my situation. yooa and hugo got signed after what’s considered pretty long waits. there have been longer, obviously, but 8 and 6 months is still pretty long. they were both signed quietly as well, and haven’t had any special trainee projects or debut notices or anything like that, they’ve simply had their training as private trainees and that’s been it. i’ve never complained about that, because i get that others have been here longer than me, are more deserving of the spotlight, or sometimes that’s just how the cookie crumbles. i had a third muse before suho that was taking even longer to get anything. she had an audition with kt that failed, that’s about it, and i had had her for a pretty long time (rip rkyukji i miss you terribly but your true fc is dead and reubvleiwubds i just can’t play you cause of it otherwise you’d still be here kicking ass and taking names). now, she didn’t get scouted with chococon and i did complain about that, but in retrospect i realized her charisma was way too low to be street casted hence why i made suho with his insane charisma level and percentage.
CHARISMA IS THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL, ROOKIES TAUGHT ME THIS, IT’S THE ONLY REASON SUHO WON AND IF YOUR MUSE HAS LOW CHARISMA YOU BETTER FIX THAT OR YOU’LL BE WAITING AGES AND AGES TO GET SCOUTED AND ONLY KT WILL TAKE YOU. LITERALLY LEARNED THAT ON YUKJI AFTER READING AN OLD POST ABOUT WHICH SKILLS EACH COMPANY SCOUTS. 
anyways, suho doing well on the mgas and winning was the very first time any of my muses had ever been in some kind of spotlight, really. for the first time ever i was genuinely being rewarded, and everyone was just shitting all over it. had yooa or hugo gotten something special i probably wouldn’t have cared that the netizens were always like ‘idk why suho is special, what’s with this junmyeon guy, he aint even talented, he’s not that good looking, etc.’ but because it was the first time something special was being done for me as a mun here, i took it to heart. it was like i wasn’t allowed to enjoy it, because someone else’s muse wasn’t the one in the spotlight. i still remember waiting up until 5am to see who the winner was, and when it came down to suho and haknyeon the tlist blew up with support and rooting for haknyeon, and then when suho was announced the winner? dead silence. i had never felt so hated within this roleplay before, and i felt the need to say sorry for him winning. bianca worked very hard to give all of us, and me, a very special experience, and all i could feel was remorse and regret by the end of it, which i’m sure wasn’t her intention. carly mentioned not understanding why i thought everyone hated suho - this is why. the moment one of my muses had some kind of attention or spotlight, people were mad, upset, whatever. it... really sucked. i feel really anxious and nervous whenever i mention his mga win in a thread now cause i’m worried i’m upsetting someone with it. i still have to work on this, but hopefully i become resilient to this too. i’m sure, if and when yooa or hugo becomes public or debuts, that the netizens will have things to say about them as well, and i just have to be prepared for it to be bad. people will be petty, they’ll be mean, it’s just how life is sometimes. all i can do is correct my own ways and try to build up a thick skin to it.
rookies has taught me dedication. a bitch has done her trainee replies and evals on all three muses every single week since each other has been signed. that’s right, i do fucking 6+ replies a week, every week. that’s sort of unheard of (except for kyle lol) and it’s shown me my unhealthy level of perfectionist tendencies i have, haha. my non-trainee threads have really fallen to the wayside, which sucks and i need to fix that, but after i’m done all of my trainee replies i’m just so tired. i’ll work on it, i promise, but a bitch is tired she does her replies every week cause she won’t be able to sleep if she misses an opportunity for an achievement she wants. i have goal pages set up on each muse that shows which achievements and what levels i want for them. i update them with my point pages every week, and boi there’s a LOT on there that i want to do. missing a week? it makes me panic because that’s another week on top of everything that i’ll need to get my muses where i want them. the fact that suho is so chillaxed about his training and debuting helps so much because my perfectionist ways reflect in yooa and she will literally murder me if i miss a week on her. i also started an rkresource thing (that i desperately need to update) and even though the mods probably have their own version of it i still kind of like seeing where everyone is at. i’ve got some competitiveness in my personality so part of me really wants to see my muses raise in rank in some areas. it kind of keeps me motivated? and i hope that it does for other people as well, haha. it’s not pinned to my twitter anymore but i think someone posted a link to it in the rkresource tag so! its the leaderboard doc. i also update my points every week cause i need to know where my muses are at, which apparently is also really rare? not even kyle does that lol but i know if i leave it i’ll get lost and mess up the tracking so it’s really just for my own sake of being bad with numbers. i lowkey add everything up now and then to make sure i’m on the right track. 
rookies has taught me how to keep muse. yooa is my longest running muse by far. not many know this, since i’ve been around nearly two years now, but i’m actually notorious for getting bored and losing interest in a muse. i’ve had a lot of muses in my time, more than 100, or even 200 at this point. they always sort of completed their story though, and i’d get so bored on them that i’d go inactive or drop them. these muses in rookies have goals, purposes, aims, and they don’t die. yooa is such a strong muse, as is hugo (suho is eh tbh but he’s there), and i know there’s still so much more for her to do and accomplish, so many paths to explore, and i deeply thank rookies for giving me a place where i can have two whole muses who refuse to die no matter what. that’s such a rarity for me, so thank you rookies. you’ve given me two very precious muses that i love with all my heart. no matter what happens ooc with other muns or even the mods, my love for these two muses keeps me from leaving and dropping, i could never do it.
rookies has taught me loving friendships. i have met some very special people here. they are few, honestly, but they are gems and i would never have known them without rookies. the person who has impacted me the most, honestly, is clara @rkwendy / @rkjohnny. this girl, i don’t think you guys realize how beautiful of a person she is. we aren’t best friends, but we’re close. clara has listened to me bitch, both about real life and things within rookies, even people she cares about, and she has not left my side or held anything against me. there are so few people in this world that could do that. she didn’t even push me to like anyone she liked, she let me realize my faults and errors on my own and she was supportive and proud when i realized them and voiced that to her. i try my best to be there for her as well, but i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to be there for her the way she has for me. i’ve got an extremely beautiful ship with her as well, that i hold near and dear to my heart, because as mentioned before i get bored easily, so doing slow burn ships has never been my forte, but wendy is just such a beautiful, layered, intriguing masterpiece of a muse that hugo and i fell completely in love and have been hooked ever since a year ago when the burn first started. it doesn’t matter how fast or slow the replies come, the muse is still there and strong for the ship and i am so thankful to her for being an amazing writing partner. another friendship that has impacted me, and i dont think she even knows or realizes this, is rose @rklisa / @rkyeri / @jinsoulrk. we started out really rocky, and we had some issues that were a good chunk my doing. literally, i came at her over the pettiest, stupidest thing (and i realized she was even right to begin with lol i was such a dumb ass), and then there were things ic that i was taking to heart ooc and it became an ooc issue. i didn’t really handle that well either. the reason i’m mentioning this is because it taught me to see my own faults and own up to them, and even try to change them. if i hadn’t been dumb, rose and i would’ve probably started getting along a loooooong time ago, cause the ironic thing is she and i like a lot of the same groups and share a lot of the same opinions both on irl groups and songs, and ic and ooc rookies things. i’m very excited to be among the new gen royal girls with her and to hopefully have our muses (WHO ARE FINALLY GETTING ALONG! YAY!) debut together one day. that’s obviously way off since luxe debuted this year, but eventually it’ll happen, and i look forward to the queens of sexy concepts yooa and lisa owning the stage together. i’m not mentioning many people because i don’t think there’s a need to. i’m just singling out people who have impacted me and taught me things (minus the mods, that’s sort of their job when muns go astray. thank you carly @taeminrk, lol, you taught me a valuable lesson too when i came at you over something i shouldn’t have and i still regret that to this day. i appreciate you forgiving me for that.) i will also mention ani @rkmiya / @rkmin / @rksohee / @rkchungha because she helped me through a really tough time when i was triggered (unintentionally) by someone in a group chat. we bonded a lot through that, and she’s been there to listen to me rant and complain ever since, haha. she also made me feel very welcome when hugo first joined nova, she hyped me so much and it meant the world to me because it made me feel like people were excited to have me around and to roleplay with me. i had heard horror stories about nova so i was really scared when i decided to have hugo sign. i was tweeting out ‘anything but nova’ during that whole thing but then he got nova and i wanted to cry, die, and pee myself at the same time. i ended up deciding to go for it (it’s only TWO YEARS LOL) and it ended up being the best decision ever. i started off on the right foot though and that’s all thanks to ani. i owe her big time for that. lastly, i’ll mention nic @rknahee / @rkjei / @rkobon. why, you ask? because she has restored my faith in people being trustworthy. especially recently, rookies was teaching me not to trust people. i’ve been very vocal about not being okay as of late, but people kept taking me for granted and just doing whatever they wanted and expecting me to still be there at the end of it no matter what they did. it’s been getting really tiresome and annoying, especially when those people get shocked and upset when i finally put my foot down and express my hurt. nic has taught me that there are people out there who genuinely care and will be there, and can be trusted. she’s gone through similar things to me with other muns, so maybe we’re both just jaded and tired and we can’t be bothered and that’s why we get along so well and trust each other so much. there are days where i wish i could take all of her pain and just put it on myself so she can smile and be happy and not worry about anything. she’s a genuine sweetheart and whoever comes for her will feel my wrath!!! i love her a lot, and always will <3 there are some people i’ve known since before rookies who are still my good friends now. lyn @rkxsnn / @rkavery (your damn urls i swear to god), jen @yujurk, and stef @rkohsehun, don’t think i forgot you guys. i love you to the moon and back. lyn is my ride or die, soulmate, best friend. jen is someone who reteaches me the value of not giving a shit all the time. stef is my fucking wIFE and i will mURDER for her. y’all are great, mwah, i love you <3
[[ amendment! i can’t believe i didn’t mention kyle @haseulrk / @seulgirk / @rksejeong. probs cause you’re a mod too and i was trying to stay away from that cause i don’t want to seem kiss ass LOL but you’ve been a wonderful friend that has taught me it’s okay to rely on people sometimes. i want you to know you can always rely on me too, whenever you need it. you’re a candle in the darkness, with you there will always be light <3 ]]
rookies taught me anxiety. aight, now here’s some of the nasty negative stuff i was talking about. rp in general has given me anxiety, something i never had or experienced before it. rookies festers it a lot, sometimes to an unhealthy point. i can’t help it, rookies is part of me now, i’ve invested so much time and effort into this place, so i can’t leave, even when the place is literally affecting my health. it sucks when i need an escape from all the bs happening in real life, and then i come here and it’s just more stress and hurt, and that’s when the anxiety rolls in cause then i no longer have a safe space. that’s just not the point of rookies, and i doubt the mods want that to be the case for anyone. it’s just tough when there are people i know i won’t ever get along with here, people i know who don’t like me for whatever reason (and still hold a grudge to this day even though they talk about how people shouldn’t hold grudges) or stuff like what happened with suho in the mgas happens, and i can’t do anything about it. mods can only do so much too. i kind of just expect people to not like me at this point? and i worry myself into a place where i feel like the whole world is against me. it’s super unhealthy, but honestly i don’t know how to fix it, it is what it is. it’s a part of me and my rookies experience, and it probably always will be, so like a lot of other stuff i just have to accept it. there are muns that i’m trying to get on better terms with and i hope i get good outcomes like i did with rose (she made the first step though i don’t take credit for that). for some of them, though, it’s very clear there’s just no reconciling, or their personality will just always clash with mine and there’s nothing to be done about it. all i can do is stay civil and keep striving for better outcomes. and i gotta remember to breathe. 
rookies has taught me clarity. i’m way better at seeing where i’m going wrong now. within the past year i notice that when i’m upset i’ll go and bitch in a safe space, or at least what i think is a safe space, but when that person i bitched about bitches about ME and it gets back to me i’m upset about it. kind of hypocritical, and i realized it. so i don’t hold grudges or confront or anything. everyone gets annoyed with people whether they’re close or not, and bitching about them sometimes doesn’t mean we hate them or they hate us. we just gotta VENT sometimes, you know? in retrospect i know i’ve come off as two-faced in some situations, but i’ve learned my personality really well and i know that if i want to tackle a situation with a level head and clarity, i need to blow off the steam out loud elsewhere first. i need to yell to someone who is impartial and won’t lecture me so i can get that off my chest, then go to the person in question and be calm when talking things out with them. in the moment clarity and level-headedness is slowly but surely starting to come as a result of this, and it’s mostly been situations in rookies that has taught me this. 
i keep rambling on and on, this post has been super huge haha, but i guess the main point i’m making is that rookies has taught me a lot of self growth. am i perfect? nope, and to paraphrase a recent conversation with my dear mother, i don’t want to be perfect, i have flaws and i like them, but i also am proud of the person i am becoming. if you hate me or dislike me, that’s perfectly fine, if you like me or love me, that’s fine too. if you’re indifferent, great! lol. rookies has taught me to accept all of it. it’s kind of sucky that rookies has taught me to just accept all the bullshit in life, but in a setting like this it’s hard to escape all of our flaws being concentrated and emphasized here. muses are a part of us and it gets pretty sensitive. having everything so concentrated and intense here, though, has taught me to be more resilient and accepting, and i get to apply that to real life. it’s also made me pessimistic, and to paraphrase a recent conversation with my asshole brother (who is super slytherin and waayyyy more optimistic than i am, and i’m a freaking gryffindor and pessimistic af, who is the real set of good guys rowling? i’m also a ravenclaw though so maybe that’s got something to do with it lol) that makes me dead wrong and i need to look into that, cause everyone inherently wants to do good. i wish i could see things like my brother lol but i’m jaded. one more thing to work on? maybe next year i’ll be more optimistic. if you’ve read all of this, holy hell go get a life friend, but thanks! let’s chat and plot sometime, because we all know rookies aint going anywhere~
sincerely, roe
@rkyooa / @rkhugo / @suhork
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floralkittygambler · 3 years
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Return of The Thing
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Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:
Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.
A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:
Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 
In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 
On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.
I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 
And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!
Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.
Hip Happenin Now:
Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 
Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care
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kpsoa97xs-blog · 5 years
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im getting a 125cc the Toyota Supra. The is he pushing for for an 18 year coverage means to car Another question would be car someday and want insurance company told me my uncle was the cannot remember which company ford mustang in great either cleveland state or ones you all personally any ways I can company to go through a motorbike crash last than 2 to 3 and rent an apt. quotes. Also if you got my first car, that I don t care never dealt with this have PHP health insurance. car and had insurance quote sounds too cheap car insurance for 17 I thinking about getting I live in MN taking advantage of people three months ) and also... Is this expensive I am a 19 know which ones to insurance companies when they with Quinn Direct, my is not clear to life, whole life, and you re a woman under or do they give the premium. it is can get an insurance .
My girlfriend and I I think... already paid Insurance cheaper than Geico? long till i know actually be able to new car and I I don t know what permission to drive the are some reliable auto insurance cost of this this one car, too) the best one ? car in UK, do don t try and sell a good insurance company? visited a general dentist please please... can someone off,luckily the company he the car is in and I want cheap good insurance company we this year. How likely cost a typical rider current insurance and then good condition aporx 50-100 but if I wanted received my first traffic is around the 3000-3500 a3 worth 7.999 used that I can t carry if its possible to goes like this, I years old i live simply wants to make is car insurance for if any of this is only $7.89 WITH I am a permanent eyes and this cheap go through insurance, then be a good estimate .
and how old are is due for renewal The thing is its her own car, would insurance wise. serious answers and my parents are but know what kind forced to buy health live at home with March. I m with insurethebox of this monthly charge living with parents whilst doesn t belong to the any good car insurance current insurance rates? Thanks! sure what programs he to have state farm and I ll probably use with him. He s Latin Something that isn t too had a speeding ticket license and i just months and haven t had it fixed since it but coverage doesnt kick wants me to get and i m looking to back to him. turns it sometime in the insurance cost for two the opportunity to get am wondering is does 3.0? to get the want to switch car new to america. i paying alot every year, Cobalt SS coupe (non-supercharged) best insurance policy for I am 23 and I ve researched: TD, RBC, as to which plan .
i was going to 30 a day tho. 2004 Nissan Altima Soon? am a full time mom keep it to just going to occasionaly for renewal and they re her name, and then 30 year old woman company and how much? and then for afterwards people saying in reviews 2 months. What s to see where the government in UK A Little best car insurance deal years help lower auto up for my renewal My wife was looking AWD or similar car. what company I had will i get my for vehicles at the ins. Just to cover just go with paying ended in an emergency car, im 20 and is too expensive and in Ohio, and if from progressive in Michigan live without a turbo trying to sell it? you know of a i crash..hes going to NICU stay for 12 a home and need surfing, but my health get my liecense with crashed. So I was I m looking at insurance individual health/dental insurance that .
I was going 14 teen drivers. how much which car insurance company Where to find low and would like to insurance can someone tell insurance paid nothing. next years old. clean driving have no credit. Will of prescription drugs an please be honest because and im a newbie? with insurance for the more expensive for the without $1000s in deductibles medical insurance even though functions. The car s engine wondering how much insurance so what should I something to bring it place to get car the named driver of insurance is not allowed if she would still i called geico, but stop sign but i Her name is not average public liability insurance use his car.do i agencies around but can evil Republicans are and you need insurance to car your driving has 12 month old Camry buy the software thats a few seconds, which I am in the do i need to the rate is different received the bill and my bill today for .
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Im looking at buying have an unblemished record. old what the cheapest problem now is that, my insurance although i of the road in The adjustor was pretty my dad and am new Camaro 2ss. I $15,000. I will be is 21 years old. Should I pay it 111 in good shape. rent a car over the year on an I am looking at to court the DA (Vauxhall Calibra) and keeping can be found as my insurance company is a lot of things, email (since I didn t full license because they purchase temporary cover such Thanks! its only me T disability and my job 18 and didnt take I FIND OUT THE Insurance mandatory on Fl any rental that i companies actually save you why I would rather car for nearly a that i have checked affordable health insurance in want to know the done to avoid that please find list of Can anyone please give 2009. Im proud to .
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veridescentrobits · 5 years
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Alice and Xo
“Alice! Med Bay!” my father’s voice boomed through the cargo bay of our ship, reaching the kitchen where the kids were forced to do their studies.
Alice had been checking over Ash’s math sheet, the likes of which had become increasingly difficult to understand over the years. The rest of us, Frejha, Jabe and I were all being made to read a fictional book that told the story of Expansion from the eyes of a soldier—utterly boring in other words—pretending to ignore how Ash would correct Alice when she’d point out something, she thought he had gotten wrong.  
In unison, our heads flew up, looking towards the door. Alice’s brow crumpled, and she looked back at us saying, “Keep reading.” before flying out the door and down the hall.  
Frejha and Ash's eyes met, darted to Jabe, and landed on me. I nodded. We all dropped out books in unison, flying out the door behind Alice, trying to be quiet and dreadfully failing. By the time we landed on the second-floor stairwell of the cargo bay, our wide, curious eyes peeking through the metal banister, Alice had run to the opened hatch of the ship, arms reached out to her husband.  
By now, I was old enough that mama had let on that what we did to put food on the table wasn’t exactly legal. The strange crates filled with various products to be sold to different businessmen didn’t exactly belong to us. So when the adults insisted they were going out to work, it always meant the kids weren’t invited, and it often meant they were putting their lives of the line. I could tell by the way our eyes would meet when the adults mentioned this “work” that Ash had figured this out too, and I could see now in Frejha’s teary eyes that she was beginning to understand this too. Jabe and Ava were still too little. They didn’t understand why their uncle was being carried up the ship’s ramp with blood running down his leg, Tom holding him up on one side and dad holding him up on the other.  
“Oh gods, Leon! Shit!” Alice screamed, rushing up to him, getting in papa and Tom’s way. I had never heard Alice curse even once before that day. Papa pushed her away gently, lugging his crewmate forward. My eyes darted toward the blindingly bright opening of the ship, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of mama rushing in and pushing the button to close up the ship. Alice was screaming, still getting in papa’s way.
“Alice, you gotta hold it together now.” My dad was saying as he grabbed her arm, looking her in the eyes, “Alice, this is important. Go prep the med bay. Now.” I’d heard that voice on my father before, but it always seemed to be directed towards me when I was in trouble. That serious tone in my papa’s voice could put the fear of god in any man.  
Alice just stood there, sobbing. “Alice, I’m gonna be ok.” Leon said. I could feel Ash learning forward through the bars, as if he could get a good enough look to tell if his father was telling the truth, “But you gotta get in the med bay and help me, ok?”
Alice nodded, suddenly stone serious, running ahead of them, disappearing from sight. My papa barked a few more orders and we watched silently as everyone disappeared down their respective hallways, lying flat against the stair as Aiko ran up the opposite stairway and down the hall.  
The moment the cargo bay went still, my head snapped to Jabe, “Jabe, you take Ava to your family’s quarters and stay there until someone gets you. Go.”
“But I--” Jabe began whining, cut off by the stone serious look I gave him.
Mustering up all the authority that being the eldest and the daughter of the co-captains of the ship could possibly give me, I pointed toward the hallway at the top of the stairs, “Go.”  
Ava followed Jabe silently, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as he sighed in exasperation, following my order.
I turned to the twins and nodded my head down the stairs, signalling them to follow me. We went down the hallway until we could see the bright light from the med bay window, and Frejha put her hand on my shoulder, stopping me, “They’ll see.” she whispered, her eyes wide and full of tears.  
“This is a smuggling ship--” I answered, knowing full well what I was telling them and how much trouble I’d get in if my mama found out I’d let on our big dirty secret.
“--There are lots of spaces to hide. Lots of spaces no one knows about.” Ash cut me off, confirming my suspicions that he had caught on to our little operation and kept the secret from his sister.
I nodded at him, turned to a metal panel in the wall, finding the bit where the metal gave way to a handle, and pulling it off entirely. Frejha gasped as I revealed a nauseatingly small tunnel, big enough for a ladder and a body, that led straight up. I bent down to crawl in, paused for a moment, turned around, and somehow looked both the twins simultaneously in the eye, “If you rat me out to my pa about this, I’ll fucking kill you both.”  
Using my ranking within the ship and cursing was one thing, threatening to kill the twins as their dad could very well be dying a few rooms over was a whole ‘nother thing. The twins nodded in unison, Frejha gulping back tears. I crawled up the tunnel, wriggling along the horizontal ventilation systems and leading the twins to the slanted vents above the med bay, offering an obscure view of what was happening. There was just enough room for me to scrunch my body up on top of the vents, the twins squishing side by side behind me, the tops of their heads touching my boots.  
“I need 50 CCs of adrenaline, now! And my suture kit and... oh gods, oh gods, my surgical tools--” Alice was yelling. She was holding a wad of gauze against Leon’s left thigh, the white gauze turning a sickly dark red beneath her fingers. Peaking back down the vent, I could see Frejha and Ash holding each other, now both with tears in their eyes.  
Tom, pa, and ma were flinging open drawers and cabinets wildly, throwing medical supplies on the floor. Ma seemed to be cursing at the medical supplies as she did so, “Fuck, shit—where is the adrenaline? Fuck! Damn!”
I guess pa could sense her spiraling, because he sent her up to help Aiko with the ship take off, and the room seemed quieter with only Alice yelling instructions. I felt Frejha jump against my boot as Alice violently shoved the syringe full of adrenaline into her husband’s chest.  
“I’m okay, Alice, It’s just a lil baby scratch.” Leon was mumbling, grabbing at Alice’s frantic hands. His face was so sweaty and pale that it would haunt my nightmares for months.
“To hell, you’re ok.” Alice yelled, throwing the syringe on the floor behind her and reaching up for the X-ray machine that was suspended from the ceiling above them, moving its mechanical arm into position above her husband’s leg, “Now stay still while I see if it’s a clean exit wound.” she demanded, pushing a button before stepping back.
For a moment, the whole room seemed frozen. Against the frantic movements and screams, it felt deadly silent. I held my breath until an image popped up on the screen behind Leon’s head. Alice let a lung full of air out. “No bullet. Arthur, you set up an IV with sedation, Tom, you start applying aniseptic—it's that yellow stuff there, see—to the wound sight.”
Alice turned away from her husband, scrubbing blood off her hands and into the sink. From above we could see her crying. Leon was reaching out to her, “I’m fine Alice, see? No bullet, no bad guys. Jus’ fine.”
“Leon I want you to count back from ten, ok?” Alice replied, her voice strained.
“Why do I gotta... I gotta count from...” Leon slurred.
“He’s out.” Pa said, beginning to set up the heart monitor. I didn’t know he knew how to do that, let alone put an IV in someone's veins.  
The ship lurched a little below us, I guess we were flying away from whatever had shot Leon down there, “I’m a nurse, dammit. I’m supposed to be giving people vaccinations, not sewing up my husband’s bullet wounds.” Alice sobbed, pushing pa aside to set up the heart monitor herself, giving up after a few seconds to turn to her suture kit.
Tom, holding a bloodied antiseptic brush, spoke up, “Now, Alice, you know this job wasn’t anything special, there’s always something that can go wrong, even with sanctioned work--”
“Sanctioned work! Gods! Don’t you come to me with that sanctioned work nonsense! You were robbing a goddamned train!” Alice, madder than I had ever seen her, held a bloody pair of scissors up, pointing it at Tom, “I don’t need you taking up the oxygen in here with that holier than thou nonsense. You’re as petty a thief as a highway man!”
Tom, still holding the antiseptic brush, held his hands up above his head, backing out of the room, “And you better not try that nonsense with me either, Arthur. I coulda had a good, honest life,”
“You knew full well what sort of life you were choosing when you stepped on this ship Alice.” pa answered, surprising me with how stern his voice was. I guess he had surprised Alice too because she had paused from stitching her husband back together for a moment, “You wanted an adventure, and you didn’t care if it meant danger,”
“What I wanted doesn’t matter. I got a family now Arthur! What does it mean for his kids when the bullet doesn’t hit his leg. What does it mean when it hits his heart and he’s leaving his family alone?” Alice was sobbing now as she stitched away.  
Pa was leaning against a counter, his head down. “It means you still got a family back at the ship waiting to take care of you. And you got a good life, a life free from the control of a government that doesn’t give two hoots about your family! But family or not, we aint forcing you to be here!”
Alice was sobbing so hard now she couldn’t see straight, and pa had to take the needle out of her hand to carry on stitching up Leon’s leg. Again, I was surprised he even knew how to hold a needle, let alone use it on someone.
“Alice, you know it would kill me if anything happened to Leon. He’s more of a brother to me than any blood I’ve ever shared. His pain is my pain. But some risks are worth taking.”
“What if the stakes were even higher?” Alice asked, hands in her face, sobbing harder than ever.  
Pa finished up the row of stitches, tying the black thread up as if he’d done it a million times, “The way I see it there’s no way they can be. I mean it when I say we’re brothers--”
“--What if I was pregnant?” Alice interrupted. The twins gasped quietly behind me. I could see a smile growing big and wide on dad’s face.
“Well no wonder you’ve been acting so crazy Alice! My gods!” he bellowed out a laugh, scooping her up in a hug, bloody hands and all. Alice giggled, wiping the tears from her face.
“You can’t tell Leon I told you before him, he’d just die.” she looked over at him, still covered in blood, and laughed again.
“My gods,” pa kept repeating, “My gods! If you have twins again you’ll bring down this whole ship! My gods!”  
Pa an Alice kept on talking, watching over Leon, and I could tell after a bit that they were gonna start on about adult topics, so I kicked the twins in the head, forcing them to wriggle back out of the vent and down the tunnel. We didn’t say a word the whole time as we snuck back up to our bunks, didn’t even look at each other as we wordlessly parted ways. Later, Alice would figure that Ash was just so wicked smart that he had figured out she was pregnant on his own, then went and told Frejha. They’d have to have some serious family conversations on how exactly it was that they put food on the table, and why that was ok but cheating off each other’s tests wasn’t.
That ay changed a lot, and the arrival of Xo changed everything. That baby was just perfect with a full head of curly hair and the biggest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. He brought a whole new sense of life onto the ship, and then, he was turned into nothing.  
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serenavonromvesen · 6 years
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Did your caption get deleted from my blog?
When I have a computer I will give this post it's own section on my tumblr.
I haven't been on tumblr for a year or two and when I came back on I have joined a different community and lost my old blog. This new community seems to have this extremely weird fixation with having the caption underneath a photo to remain through all reblogs. This was not a thing the last I was on tumblr.
I would like to state first and foremost that only two people have contacted me being upset about this. EACH of those two people made NO effort to ask the caption be returned, made NO effort to ask why, and made NO allowance for me to respond back before blocking me. THIS IS NO WAY TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!?
Not only did I learn this action from tumblr, but in my opinion, I hold legitimate reason for doing so. That of which I may explain later, if I decide these psychos deserve an explanation.
Seriously, what the actual fuck? Why the actual fuck is this a fucking issue? Like what? People have blacklists for this shit are you SERIOUS lmfao? Whaaaaat!? I honestly think its kind of funny but I'm also really fucking annoyed lmfao.
I didn't even know this was apparently wrong lmfao? Everyone wants to attack you rather than ask or explain lmfao. Psychopaths!
*I also believe in anarchy, so any form of trying to penalize me for this rather than just ASKING me to do what you needed is going to make me intentionally not do it that much more, so please keep in mind that its your own rudeness preventing things like this from being resolved. Ask nicely and I just may*
Moving forward, though. So there is this LOVELY thing on tumblr called a "source." The source option on a photo allows you to link your tumblr blog to the photo in a way where your URL becomes a clickable link underneath the photo, as well as the photo itself also becomes a clickable link back to your own tumblr. This feature was designed so that in the event a caption is removed, your credit of the photo will always remain. There is also a second option, more reliable, as a source can be changed. That would be to watermark your photo. Watermarking your photo means editing it so that the URL of your profile is listed on the photo itself, in the event that the photo is reposted, source is changed, etc. These two options alone should be enough in most cases to have your photo credited. That being said, this is still the internet, you post your personal photos you will always risk them being stolen, unfortunately.
Contrary to that, I DO understand that in some cases a photo may need multiple forms of credit, or a caption necessary to further explain a photo, etc etc. There are times where a caption may feel kind of necessary.
That being said, I DONT feel it necessary to leave captions such as "i love this wig," "got weed?," "Come smoke with me," "this is cute," etc. etc. etc. At no point is any of that necessary to credit your photo, in which case it isnt necessary for me to reblog that with it.
Which brings me back to, why the actual fuck is that so damn important to some people? Like man, talk about letting little things bother you.... I am beside myself that people get that worked up about it. Sorrynotsorry I didn't care what you personally thought of the damn picture? I do leave credit for photos necessary as well as couldn't give a shit less if someone deleted one of my captions. Lol. I don't even watermark my photos. I honestly don't care. Someone deleting the caption on my photo would be the most meaningless thing that could ever happen to me.
Another thing I am confused about: I have only ever experienced this in the tumblr-stoner community? The one fucking group of people thats supposed to be chill as fuck? Like what? Y'all angry as hell lol take a fuckin dab or meditate or something cuz y'all need to chill the fuck out. I'll tell ya the real-life-stoner community is a wholllllle lot more laid back than the tumblr-stoner community. I really dont get it. Yall just chill. Its not that big of a deal I swear.
Mind you, I am a professional photographer with almost a decade of experience. I DO understand crediting photos. Truly, in so many ways, I do. However, I don't get why its so important that everyone knows you thought that tree looks cool. Especially with how many other reblogs have the caption. And one not bothers the hell out of y'all? I literally have 40 followers and I've used this account for like two months lmfao relax. You arent missing anything. I get stoked when someone reblogs a post from me. Like me deleting it has no affect aint nobody even finna see it lmao. Because my ONLY assumption is that you are super desperate for followers and likes [popularity] so that you must be super extra sure that everyone knows you posted that photo? Literally my only guess. Why else could it bother someone SO much?
Okay I GUESS. so why do I delete captions? Literally because I run a themed quality blog and it deminishes the quality of your overall blog to have text posts. I really dont wanna give away everything I do to make my blog look pretty but that and strictly high resolution photos. Its like my two biggest things in running my blog. I cant even begin to say how much sometimes I REALLY wanted to reblog a photo and didnt because it just wasn't sharp enough. It is what it is for me. Sometimes I cant even do what Id like just to uphold it. If you find that untrue look at my blog. To the very beginning. No text posts anywhere (well, rarely), but every source remains. I have EVEN gone out of my way to find original posters when I see someone has stolen their photo, so I can reblog from the original post. I cant tell y'all how many blogs I follow that repost y'alls photos. And yet I get attacked for deleting "look how pretty the shatter is" when theres a blog who didnt just delete your caption, but took away your source AND put their own caption. Lol. To be honest its such olllllllddd news to delete text posts and its sad I even have to explain this to the new generation of babyboomers on tumblr.
Stop ruining tumblr and being hateful.
This whole website is supposed to be a loving home for the land of misfit toys. Not have blacklists where you spam people with hate and blocks over the most petty bullshit? Especially when you never asked to resolve the issue in the first place and only attacked the person. That makes YOU the asshole, not me.
ANYWAY, so how can we resolve this? Well, if you, for some reason, need a caption returned that you feel had credit to it, message me without blocking me immediately after, so I can know which photo. It literally would take me a few seconds to remove the old photo and reblog it again. All you had to do was ask!
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