#pirates and vampires and yeahhhh

[fallstaticexit]

A reimagined story of Princess Cordelia Thebe of the Royal House Thebe

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Princess Cordelia: Long John was the first man I’ve ever loved. He was devoid of grace and beauty, a daunting and imposing threat of the seas—the exact type of man my father forbade me from seeing. And still, I found it impossible to distance myself from him. Our affair was filled with fervor and passion for an entire summer. I was so lost in the fantasy I could no longer tell the difference between my desires to abandon everything I knew to escape with him or to simply flee from the mounting pressures of the throne. It hardly matter. I never got what I wanted.

[Long John] I’m off. [Cordelia] I want to come with you. [Long John] scoffs The sea’s no place for a woman. No woman like you, anyhow.

Princess Cordelia: The novelty of it wore off eventually. I was tired of men telling me where I belonged. The last I saw of him, I had wished death upon him. I prayed the seas opened up and swallowed him and his rotten, filthy ship whole. If I’d known the gods of the oceans were listening, would I have spared his life in the end?

[Bob] I bring news from the ports, Your Royal Highness. It appears Captain Long John Buttercups ship caught fire last night. It is believed this was a planned attack. There were no survivors. [Cordelia] Well, it’s his own fault for being a lazy, unkempt man and a terrible pirate at that. I’m sure my father will be pleased there’s one less drifter in his waters. That will be all, Bob.

Princess Cordelia: Stupid, rotten man.

[theeldritchbeesechurger]

Vampire, werewolf, ghost, pirate

hell yeahhhh!

[jwab]

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions (which is impossible at this point so just do your best, okay?)

Tagged by @favouritealias who is pure delight and thank you, my dear, for remembering me while I’ve been quietly puttering along.

1. Coke or Pepsi: Dr. Pepper.

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Sondheim.

3. Coffee or Tea: Coffee, but also tea? I’m too much of a brat to pick one.

4. Books or Movies: Usually books.

5. Windows or Mac: Windows.

6. DC or Marvel: Now, little missies, come take a seat on Gramma J’s porch swing and I’ll tell you stories about vampires and witches, things we used to read when I was a young thing, none o’ this superhero floof...

7. Xbox or Playstation: I had an Atari as a kid and I loved this game called KABOOM. Twenty five years later, my husband and I played a ton of Civilization. Yeahhhh.

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: So KABOOM was really just about catching these old-timey looking bombs with a slidey cart....

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Early rise when I get enough sleep.

10. Cards or Chess: Cards.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate chocolate very chocolate but also, come on, are those really the only two choices? I mean, PISTACHIO. CARAMEL. BUTTERSCOTCH FOR FUCK’S SAKE

12. Vans or Converse: Doc Martens.

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: those aren’t words

14. Fluff or Angst: I mean, that’s just rude. Okay: @werebearbearbar‘s angsty fluff and @tehriz‘s fluffy angst.

15. Beach or Forest: I DON’T LIKE THESE OPTIONS. A city at night; my friend’s porch on a summer evening; the deck of my dad’s place with a cup of coffee in the early morning quiet.

16. Dogs or Cats: Doggly dogs.

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Clear skies for fun; rain for thinking.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Eating out.

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Medium I’M SORRY

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas (says the Jew).

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot?: Cold definitely because you can put on layers but you CAN’T PEEL OFF YOUR SKIN

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?: healing the planet.

23. Animation or Live Action: Live action.

24. Paragon or Renegade: Are these things? I mean, I prefer to be a renegade but...

25. Baths or Showers: Showers.

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: Gramma J just made a nice batch of brownies! Don’t you move, I’ll get ‘em and them we can talk about the Indigo Girls!

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Good stories! Probably Sci-Fi on the whole, but I’ll take some meaty pirate fantasy with a tragic gay backstory any day...

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? Nope.

29. YouTube or Netflix: But they are useful for different things...??

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter. I worked at Tower Records when the first book came out and we all devoured it. Read the last one while touring Austria as a soloist.

31: When You Feel Accomplished: When my kid likes something I cook (a vanishingly rare occurrence); when I can zero in on the thing a student needs to hear/learn to improve

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Wars, marginally.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: paperback

34. Handwriting or Typing: Typing.  

35. Velvet or Satin: Really nice cotton. Or merino wool, knitted by moi. OR OR OR! Melly’s handspun!! It’s sooooooo soft!!

36. Video Games or Movies?: Movies, my sweet children. Movies.

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? Own the dragon and RIDE IT

38: Sunrise or sunset: Sunrises are GORGEOUS.

39: What’s your favourite song? Silly question for a professional singer. MOST OF THEM.

40: What’s your favorite smell? Grapefruit.

41. What’s your favourite bad joke? How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but they have to be reallllly small.

42. What is your favorite Young Adult book? The Sky is Everywhere. It’s lovely. I believe that was a @creepingmuse rec.

43. What’s your drink order at the bar?  Bourbon, neat. (I know, in a former life I was a film noir detective)

44. What’s your favorite Magritte painting? La trahison des images (@favouritealias’ answer, and mine too)

45. *scratches head* Do you play an instrument? If yes, which one? WELL. My main instrument is my voice -- I do many lovely and several super crazy things with it. I also play the piano quite well. I am a ukulele fiend and I also play the accordion (I know, I know). Plus, I got a mandolin to learn but it’s harrrrdddd.

46. BOOK RECS, GO:

Tagging @tehriz, @crabsandlobsters, @werebearbearbar@creepingmuse, @no-no-no-yes-no, @sneetchstar, @canadiangarrison, @snowglory, plus anyone who has ever reviewed any of my fics because I LOVE YOU