#please for the love of god dont tag this as shadowxmaria i wrote them as siblings

[crows-home]

guess who wrote 2k words about shadow and associating certain colors with the people he cares about :D

(read on ao3)

Maria wears blue. A lot. Her dress is blue. So is her headband. So are her eyes. the walls of her room on the ARK are painted a pleasing sky blue.

You ask her why, one day. You two are in the middle of playing a game. The doctor bought it for her, and everything she has, she has always been more than happy to share with you. Shes about to put her piece down, when she stops to look at you.

‘its my favorite color,’ she says.

You frown, confused. ‘but, why?’

‘it makes me happy when I look at it,’ she says.

It still does not make sense. Preferring one color over all others is entirely illogical. It serves no purpose. You go to ask her to explain further, but then she coughs. You start to go to her, but she waves you off with an attempted smile. The cough worsens, however, and she ends hunched over the game board, her frail body quivering with the force of them.

‘you are not well,’ you tell her.

She smiles up at you again. ‘what else is new?’

You usher her back to her bed with an unamused face. she goes without any more resistance.

.

You try your best to find out what she means about colors. You look at different ones. the yellow of the stars, the whites of the clouds on the planet below, even the different fruits that make it aboard the ship. Your favorite fruits are apples and pomegranates. They are both warm colors, but you don’t think that’s why you like them.

It’s because you like sharing them with her.

Maria asks the doctor for a book on color theory, and you two skim through the pages together.

You are nestled on her lap while she lays in bed. Her blanket, blue and warm and soft, covers her legs.

‘here-‘ she reaches a page full of different shades of purple. ‘these are nice, aren’t they?’

You hum.

‘oh come on,’ she pokes you. ‘you’re not even a little fond of purple? Not even the pastel one? You enjoy the lavender soap we have.’

‘it is the one that least offends my nostrils.’ You say.

‘sure it is,’ you don’t see it, but you can tell she’s rolling her eyes at you. it makes you smile, almost. Because it means she is feeling good today. Well, as good as she can be, anyway. you love these days, when her voice is not heavy with exhaustion and her eyes are not clouded and weary.

You will make her better. You and the doctor. You will help him in whatever research he requires, train as hard as you can, so that she can be well and you can explore the world alongside her.

‘how about reds, Shadow? Any emotions when you see red?’

You close your eyes and grunt. ‘my quills are red,’ you say. ‘it is a color I am accustomed to. If I had an opinion on them, either positive or negative, I would either be vain or self-loathing. And I am neither of those things-‘

‘yeah, yeah, alright. No red then.’ She flips the page and scratches behind your ear. Suddenly, she closes the book. You open your eyes and look up at her curiously. ‘how about this, tell me the first thing that comes to your mind when I tell you a color. It’s almost like a game.’

‘alright,’ you do not move to sit up.

She covers your eyes with both of her hands. ‘no peaking.’ There is a smile in her voice, and you smile as well.

‘green.’ She begins.

‘fauna,’ you answer.

‘but does it make you happy? When you think about fauna?’

You frown. You want to say, not particularly, as I have never seen many of them up close. But she is doing this for you. she has been patient, so you should try harder. After a few moments, you speak. ‘I feel…impatient. I want to see it all up close already, and not just see them in your books.’

Maria rubs your quills. ‘I feel the same,’ she says sadly.

And it continues.

‘red.’

‘I think of myself. I feel bored because I have seen it so many times.’

‘orange?’

‘it is a bright color. It reminds me of the sun. I don’t think I would like to look at it for too long…’

Maria laughs. She has stopped covering your eyes, but you keep them closed. ‘I’m assuming yellow is the same.’ You nod. ‘I figured. How about brown?’

‘I think of the grain they serve aboard the ship. I think of dirt.’ You consider your words. ‘it is not unpleasant…but I don’t think I would prefer it.’

She goes through a list. Purple makes you think of lavender soap. You enjoy the smell. You think you might enjoy it. White is the color of the clouds and paper and stars, sometimes. You think it is fine, if a bit too bright and bland. Grey is the color of the metal of the ship. Of needles and harsh floors. You do not like grey. Maria yawns, and you find yourself wanting to do the same.

‘and blue?’ she murmurs.

Blue. The ocean. On earth, apparently, the sky is blue. Maria has shown him pictures before. But also, these walls. The blanket underneath your head. Maria’s favorite dress, which she says is her favorite because it is her favorite color and a gift from her mother and very comfortable. Maria’s headband, a gift from the doctor. Her eyes-

‘you,’ you say, as sleeps consumes you. ‘I think of you.’ and finally. ‘it’s nice.’

.

Blue is maria’s color. It is the way her eyes shine when they speak of traveling the world. With the hope of long lives for the people on earth. It’s the color you seek when you’ve come back from a particularly difficult round of testing. Blue means comfort and quiet talks and someone who touches you without pain.

‘maybe it’s too soon for you to choose one,’ maria says. you’re both standing by the largest window on the ARK, looking over the earth. ‘you haven’t experienced much of anything yet.’

You turn to her. She is watching the world, but she is distant. ‘when you are free from here, when you go below and live your life, I hope you can choose a color that makes you as happy as ever.’

You hate when she speaks like this. She speaks like she will not get to see it all with you. she speaks like she won’t be around long enough to see it.

Stop it, you want to say. Because the thought of losing the only person as close to family as you will ever have will nearly drive you insane. It does drive you insane, some nights. To realize how alone you are with the only comfort being in your sister’s arms.

‘You’ll be healthy and happy and maybe your favorite color will be green. When you touch it and feel it for yourself. Or maybe you’ll get to feel the warmth of sunshine and it will be yellow. Or maybe even-‘

‘Blue,’ you interrupt. She stops and stares at you.

‘I have decided,’ you say. ‘The color I most prefer is blue.’

She stares at you and for a few long moments, says nothing. You almost regret it. You do not sweat, so why are your palms so warm?

Finally, she smiles. It is bright and warm and releases the pressure building in your chest.

Yes, blue is your favorite color because it is the color of her. Her kindness and patience and mercy. And for her, you would do anything.

.

Blue was the color of maria. Of her dress, now more red than blue, from a bullet wound that you can’t pinpoint. It was the color of her headband, slipped off her hair as you two ran for your lives.

Blue was the color of her eyes when she said goodbye, slumped over the panel to sending you down, down, down. You bang on the glass, begging and pleading.

Blue is the color of the ocean you hurtle towards.

Blue was the color of maria.

.

Blue was your favorite color. And now you have come down here and experienced the world and all that color has given you is pain and grief.

.

That goddamn hedgehog. He’s the fastest, apparently. Their hero. But he looks at you with a fire and rage that almost match your own. You run, and he catches up to you. you would be impressed if you weren’t so hellbent on ending his life.

Just looking at him fills you with rage. He stares you down, unflinching, and fights you head-on. When you fight in the jungle, he is a remarkably easy target. His blue quills catch your eyes without much thinking.

Blue. If it wasn’t enough that he goes on and on about wanting to save and protect this plant (a planet that does not deserve to be saved. A planet with people in power who kill children for no reason- no reason. They don’t deserve it. They don’t deserve the mercy that she was never shown. The mercy she so freely handed out, just like this goddamn blue hedgehog-) if that wasn’t enough, he has to go and be her color.

He is not worthy, and you will damn well make sure he knows it.

.

‘she wouldn’t want this, shadow.’

And you have to stop yourself from screaming.

 Don’t tell me what she would want. Don’t speak as if you knew her or cared about her at all. Don’t speak like you understand what its like to lose everything. The world is unfair, I’ll make sure everyone understands.

That’s what she would have wanted, you think.

.

Why is everyone here so loud? Sonic and his friends, even the bat, Rouge that you have slightly acquainted yourself with. They laugh and tease each other and risk everything so the person they care about remains unharmed.

Its pathetic.

Were you this pathetic, once? Are you still?

Is it pathetic of your heart to jump at the sight of a blue blur, because where you once thought of warmth and tenderness, you now think of challenge? He challenges you in a way few have ever. You are excited, is all. Excited to watch him fall. Excited to give the color back to her, because she was the only one fit to wear it.

.

Blue was the color of maria. You knew. Somewhere inside you, you always knew. But now you remember. You remember mercy, and kindness, and patience, and laughter and god-

How could you forget?

Blue is forgiveness. Blue is compassion and understanding and encouragement, and isn’t it fitting that Sonic would share these things with her?

and if they are all like her, don’t they deserve a chance at life?

You decide. You will keep your promise, your true promise. It’s what she would have wanted. Its what you want too.

.

Gold is the color of your rings. It’s the color of you and Sonic, when you save the world.

It’s the color you see when he reaches for you, desperately, stupidly, mercifully, trying to save your life. And you shove him away, content with this being your end. How fitting, for another creature who wears blue to be your saving grace, and your demise. You’ve kept your promise to her and ensured they would have a decent chance for a future. They deserve it, just like she did.

You fall again, and this time you shut your eyes, and think of blue.

.

 ‘when you are free from here, when you go below and live your life, I hope you can choose a color that makes you as happy as ever.’

And you lived, and you will keep living.

Pink is the color or Amy Rose, sweet-faced and kind, but also remarkably dangerous (you really need to ask her about the rings she wears so similar to your own). Orange is the color of Tails, soaring by you, never far from Sonic’s side. A good kid, worth a good amount of respect. Purple reminds you of Rouge and the dishes she lets pile up, but also of the movies she drags you to and the times she makes you help her apply eyeshadow. Red is blood and fire, but also Omega and his unwavering stability. also Knuckles the echidna that you love to rile up.

But blue will always be special to you. for the memories, and the emotions it brings up. Because in the middle of battle, you catch a glimpse of blue out of the corner of your eye and feel your strength increase. When you go for a run and he runs by you, cocky grin on his face. your heart leaps at the challenge, every time. Blue is annoyance, respect, compassion, and so much more. Blue is a throbbing in your heart that you cant explain, after everything you two have been through.

Blue is one of your favorite colors. (you have many, not that anyone needs to know)

Blue was the color of maria. And blue is the color of Sonic.