#plight of the only child vs plight of the eldest

[idrisofficial]

Which characters/character do you feel most personally/emotionally involved with and why?

oh this is a very difficult question and i appreciate it very much. as any creator would, i’m inclined to say all of them in different ways…but that’s kind of a cop-out.

i think i’ll say brinne and lennox. they’re not the characters i relate to the most, but i do think i feel the most emotional connection towards them. a lot of what draws me to them is their silent suffering—both of them live in glass prisons of their own making. a lot of this is mental illness related, but their natural dispositions are also of great influence (although lennox’s natural disposition is extremely debatable when you consider nature vs nurture).

brinne was the first of any of my idris characters to exist, and the depth of her development definitely follows suit. her transition from a manic but deeply idealistic teenager to a reticent and self-interested monarch through the buildup of her childhood trauma and the final straw of her near death experience is so deliciously heartbreaking. her loneliness, her codependency with adrian, her sexual and alcoholic coping mechanisms, her deep uncertainty in the religion that gives meaning to her entire life…poor girl can’t catch a break. brinne has always been the focus of idris, and i’ve had fun and i’ve had pain hurting her like i do. most of the actual writing that i’ve accomplished revolves around her, and for good reason. she is at the core of the conflicts plaguing idris’s centuries-old culture and still just a twenty two year old girl who never really got to grow up. sometimes i act as though her teenage self and her adult self are two separate people, but the truth is that they are painfully intertwined. brinne’s suppression of her idealism and desire for change in service to her desperate attempts at self-preservation is what drives her motivations throughout every iteration of this story. she cannot escape who she is, try as she might. and i think there’s something so, so compelling about that for someone in a position of such horrible power like she is.

lennox is layer upon layer upon layer. the fact that he was originally inspired by byakuya togami? we’re not gonna talk about that. lennox has also come a long way as a character, the third to exist after brinne and adrian. he’s an og. lennox was a nice kid up until about age six, where the kindness was quite literally shattered in him to make room for solid perfection. a machine with style. he grew into the role almost too perfectly. the pinnacle of competence, a voice of absolute reason and logic amidst his generally wild and dysfunctional generation of nobles. here is why i feel such connection to lennox. he is ice on the outside, ice on the inside, speaks only when necessary but controls the conversation, and casually usurps the throne from time to time. he has studied these same people for sixteen years, understands most of them sickeningly well, and appears virtually flawless aside from his mansplainer bullshit. but my god is he grumpy, bitchy, flamboyant, perfectionistic to the point of petulance, and baselessly sadistic. he’s the second most powerful person in the country and he has constant migraines from dealing with others’ bullshit. he loves his siblings. he’s one of only two characters to understand his sexuality and he’s deeply afraid of it. he gets no bitches. he’s still mourning the death of the cousin whose death he was responsible for and who he was boyishly in love with. he’s sensible as all hell, but my god, he is fucking losing it. nobody gets that. even the people who hate him don’t get that. they hate him for his pretentious swag but don’t understand how much of a loser he actually is. anyways. i’m on a tangent now. he’s flawless. he’s horrible. there is no changing who he is, but would he ever have turned out like this naturally? lennox is a product of both what others have made him into and what he has forced himself to embody. there is no lennox that isn’t a diamond formed under absolute pressure.

[dvrkprinces]

&&. ( ronan ludolf ) was just spotted in amsterdam. rumor has it ( he ) is a ( 36 ) year old ( alpha werewolf ) who resembles ( michael fassbender ). ( he ) has been said to be ( courageous & patient ) but also quite ( judgmental & quiet ). with all the chaos surrounding the magical underworld, he has chosen to align with ( no one / the russian bratva ). ( he ) is currently serving as ( a contracted assassin ). hopefully the city doesn’t devour them whole.

— ❝ i’ve had to burn your kingdom down.❞

( hi there, kiwi here! this is the official intro for my ‘quiet killer’, ronan ludolf. he’s a loyal assassin to the valentina family and i would LOVE to build some more relationships for his character. please let me know if you’d like to plot; i’m available through both the group’s discord and tumblr ims. ♡ )

name: ronan aleksander ludolf

birthplace: krakow, poland

birthday: october 30th | scorpio

scent: earthy, quiet forest woods on a fresh autumn day, spirited bergamot, amber, vanilla + ( signature cologne: sauvage - dior )

current familial / relationship status: ronan was one of five children, until vengeful vampires killed his peasant family in a hate crime. now, as an adult, ronan tends to push people away out of fear of growing too close and failing them the same way he failed his own family as a child. he is yet to meet his mate, but is more than content to serve as a makeshift family for the valentinas / the russian bratva, whom he considers close enough to act as surrogate siblings / children in lieu of his own family.

appearance: 6′4″ and rather large. ronan came from a family of tall individuals, and he was no different; though he has no family to date these days, he suspects he looks rather like what his father did at his age. tall, broad, and muscular, from years of training as an assassin. with a shock of soft-toned red hair and a beard to match, ronan finds that his auburn hair is one of his most defining features. 

ronan has his assassin gear, which is comprised of dark clothing and cloaks, and then he has casual-wear–traditionally collared shirts and slacks, or sometimes sweaters and more relaxed pants.

personality: resourceful, strong, narrow-minded, secretive, protective, loyal, resilient.

biography: ronan was the second eldest in a family of five children, born to two loving, attentive parents in the heart of krakow, poland. his family was quite poor, and having five children (two boys and three girls) likely didn’t help matters financially, but ronan never felt he lacked anything emotionally from the care in which his family devoted to one another. His father was a german jewish immigrant, his mother a polish native, and so ronan grew up understanding polish and german fluently.

when ronan was roughly twelve years old, his family uprooted and moved to russia in what his parents claimed was a search of opportunities for the entire family. in actuality, ronan’s parents were running from debt they’d run up with some of the more…unsavory members of poland’s slums. for a few years, everything remained as was. the children learned russian, attending school and immersing themselves in the culture of the soviet union. but then, one cold november night when he was fifteen, ronan walked home after studying with a group of friends from school and found that there had been forced entry into his home. sprawled about his house were the mangled and drained bodies of his family–his mother and father, elder brother, and younger sisters. racing through their small quarters, ronan found that not a single member of his family had survived the brutal attack; instead, ronan’s wolf senses and a calling card left behind led him to the realization that the act was a hate crime committed by a group of vampires who were displeased with the ludolfs’ presence in eastern europe. for the first time in his young life, ronan felt hatred that day. and it burned bright inside of him, festering into something truly awful and deadly.

ronan allowed himself to be carved into a lethal blade then. school became less of a priority for him; as he searched the streets for anyone–anyone at all–who would help him before he risked being taken away by the state, he stumbled from proper society deep into an assassin’s guild. the guild was run by a fellow werewolf alpha who deemed the plight of vampires a plague among supernatural society and vowed to rid the world of their kind. ronan allowed himself to be seduced into their ranks, learning the skills necessary to hone his body and mind with the instincts of a natural-born killer. he wouldn’t just kill the vampires responsible for annihilating his family--no, ronan would kill all of them. ronan operated mostly independently, commissioning himself for jobs all while hunting down the vampires who were responsible for his family’s untimely death.

and then...well, then the russian bratva happened. and though ronan didn’t have a family, he had something similar to it. the human-led russian mafia opened its dark, brooding arms for ronan, embracing him. the bratva had their own grief with supernaturals and gangs wreaking havoc in europe, and they promised to shelter and protect ronan if he gave them something in return: his loyalty. hardened by the grief inside of him, ronan allowed himself to be hardened into something lethal and tangible; a weapon honed by anger and regret. he blames himself for being absent when his family was taken and murdered. since then, ronan has distanced himself from society in general; he doesn’t wish to form tight-knit bonds with anyone, lest the deep rooted fear inside of him that warns he’ll continue to lose those he cares for festers into something tangible.

as ronan grew from a young man into a hardened adult, he became involved in the crooked, corrupt world of espionage for the russian mob. specifically, as an assassin. the only limitations ronan had in his job, he argued with himself, was children; he wouldn’t touch children. but the corrupt, power-hungry rulers of the world who toyed with people and kept them in squalor and poverty? his specialty was vampires; he hunted them for sport, for purpose, for retribution. those monsters, he believed firmly, deserved his blade. and by the time ronan was twenty-five, ten years after the deaths of his family, he had tracked down every last vampire responsible for his family’s unjust homicides, and killed them all. he was known through the the seedy underbelly of europe’s supernatural community as the white wolf; a mob-affiliated alpha assassin who left no paper trail and slipped in smooth as night to finish the job left to him.

ronan views the russian mafia as his family; he’s fiercely loyal to them for taking him in and allowing him to sow the seeds of vengeance against his family’s killers. as such, he witnessed much of the rise of the current pakhan, viktor valentina, as well as witnessed his younger sister, tatiana valentina, grow up right before his very eyes. ronan considers them the closest thing to a family he has to date. though he misses his own family fiercely and with everything inside of him, he’s made his own makeshift home out of the family he serves and the people he works with.

with the supernatural tensions present in amsterdam, ronan plans on aligning himself with no one but the protection of the family he has sworn himself to. he cares very little for the politics employed by the human or angelic governments and considers himself more of an anarchist than anything else. he hasn’t found his mate yet, and at this point, ronan doesn’t have much hope for himself. there’s not an omega in the world who would bear to look at him, scarred and damaged as he is.

after all: who could ever learn to love a beast?

wanted connections: i’d be super down for some enemies especially; bring me all the vampire vs. werewolf angst ! i really enjoy getting to play ronan in a supernatural setting, so if you’ve got ideas for frenemies, contracts / clients, enemies, etc. please let me know !!