#these are only the beginnings of my true rants honestly i could go for hours

[idrisofficial]

Which characters/character do you feel most personally/emotionally involved with and why?

oh this is a very difficult question and i appreciate it very much. as any creator would, i’m inclined to say all of them in different ways…but that’s kind of a cop-out.

i think i’ll say brinne and lennox. they’re not the characters i relate to the most, but i do think i feel the most emotional connection towards them. a lot of what draws me to them is their silent suffering—both of them live in glass prisons of their own making. a lot of this is mental illness related, but their natural dispositions are also of great influence (although lennox’s natural disposition is extremely debatable when you consider nature vs nurture).

brinne was the first of any of my idris characters to exist, and the depth of her development definitely follows suit. her transition from a manic but deeply idealistic teenager to a reticent and self-interested monarch through the buildup of her childhood trauma and the final straw of her near death experience is so deliciously heartbreaking. her loneliness, her codependency with adrian, her sexual and alcoholic coping mechanisms, her deep uncertainty in the religion that gives meaning to her entire life…poor girl can’t catch a break. brinne has always been the focus of idris, and i’ve had fun and i’ve had pain hurting her like i do. most of the actual writing that i’ve accomplished revolves around her, and for good reason. she is at the core of the conflicts plaguing idris’s centuries-old culture and still just a twenty two year old girl who never really got to grow up. sometimes i act as though her teenage self and her adult self are two separate people, but the truth is that they are painfully intertwined. brinne’s suppression of her idealism and desire for change in service to her desperate attempts at self-preservation is what drives her motivations throughout every iteration of this story. she cannot escape who she is, try as she might. and i think there’s something so, so compelling about that for someone in a position of such horrible power like she is.

lennox is layer upon layer upon layer. the fact that he was originally inspired by byakuya togami? we’re not gonna talk about that. lennox has also come a long way as a character, the third to exist after brinne and adrian. he’s an og. lennox was a nice kid up until about age six, where the kindness was quite literally shattered in him to make room for solid perfection. a machine with style. he grew into the role almost too perfectly. the pinnacle of competence, a voice of absolute reason and logic amidst his generally wild and dysfunctional generation of nobles. here is why i feel such connection to lennox. he is ice on the outside, ice on the inside, speaks only when necessary but controls the conversation, and casually usurps the throne from time to time. he has studied these same people for sixteen years, understands most of them sickeningly well, and appears virtually flawless aside from his mansplainer bullshit. but my god is he grumpy, bitchy, flamboyant, perfectionistic to the point of petulance, and baselessly sadistic. he’s the second most powerful person in the country and he has constant migraines from dealing with others’ bullshit. he loves his siblings. he’s one of only two characters to understand his sexuality and he’s deeply afraid of it. he gets no bitches. he’s still mourning the death of the cousin whose death he was responsible for and who he was boyishly in love with. he’s sensible as all hell, but my god, he is fucking losing it. nobody gets that. even the people who hate him don’t get that. they hate him for his pretentious swag but don’t understand how much of a loser he actually is. anyways. i’m on a tangent now. he’s flawless. he’s horrible. there is no changing who he is, but would he ever have turned out like this naturally? lennox is a product of both what others have made him into and what he has forced himself to embody. there is no lennox that isn’t a diamond formed under absolute pressure.

[star-girl69]

I honestly felt so bad for Lana, she totally got snubbed

and ik Taylor was trynna be nice and bring her onstage but she just looked so uncomfortable and I’m sure she was so dissapointed:/

i know. i just woke up and saw the pictures i’m genuinely heartbroken for her. midnights is probably one of my least fav taylor albums so i just cannot believe that it won. the only song i really like and listen to is the great war and snow on the beach lmao 😭😭😭

but again i’m not suprised

if there was any category i was SURE lana wasn’t going to win was aoty.

midnights was catchy at times and i mean taylor’s an amazing lyricist and vocalist but ocean blvd was just lana’s album. there’s not really another way i can describe it

it’s her most person album- the first time i listened to fingertips i was sobbing crying- and i mean the diversity and the entire concept of actually going through a tunnel (starting w some lighter songs hen progressively getting darker and darker until the more trap and upbeat end) was a brilliant idea and really took the listener on a true journey

not to mention, but the references she makes to past albums and songs showing her growth were some of my favorite little moments! singing the chorus of sweet the same way she sang the chorus in wait for life, singing the beginning of fingertips to the tune of bartender, the love song mention in let the light in- i felt like it brought a whole other layer of nuance to the album.

genuinely could talk about the lyrics for hours but a few honorable mentions-

it wasn’t my idea the cocktail of things that twists neurons inside // but without them i’d die - fingertips

my sister’s first born child // i’m gonna take that too with me // my grandmother’s last smile // i’m gonna take that too with me // it’s a beautiful life // remember that too for me - the grants

what’ya doin’ with your life do you think about it? // do you contemplate where we came from? // lately we’ve been making out a lot not talkin’ ‘bout the stuff that’s at the very heart of things // do you want children? // do you wanna marry me? // do you wanna run marathons in long beach by the sea // i’ve got things to do like nothing at all i wanna do them with you // do you wanna do them with me? - sweet

i was on the stairs // ella fitzgerald in the air // feelin’ hella rare // baby if you care // baby don’t you dare say // you’ll braid my hair, babe - fishtail

after the album came out for like a month literally all i couldn’t listen to was ocean blvd on shuffle lmao.

anyways, sorry for ranting, woke up to this and now i’m in a very pissed off mood. very disappointed, but this album is very hard to understand without already having an appreciation and understanding of lana, so, again- i’m not surprised.

i know the grammy’s are realistically just a popularity contest, but they are still huge achievements and i know it would feel so gratifying for her to finally have one. just so disappointed

i feel this loss so heavily with her.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Hi hello, so nice to talk to you, Kiko!

This is going to definitely sound weird, but do you have any advice for an ongoing Ao3 writer? Pretty sure I'm not the only one here writing Gojo/OC stories or fluffy one-shots since they're so addicting lol.

But it's strange to be so obsessed with writing with so many ideas and time and energy to write, and then it feels like you're in a bit of a slump when that rush of creativity sort of slows.

You mentioned before that you had most of the story for AL mapped out and written, did it help you to plan ahead more before posting? Or was it more of a, "I didn't worry about it too much because it was fun to write and we're all Gojo simpls" kind of a deal?

Anyhow, would love to know if you'd be alright talking about it. Have a good day~

Hiiiii! It's nice to talk to you, too! 😊

Gojo fluff is addictive and I honestly have been rereading Physical Paradox installments today because I need fluff and motivation 😂

Hmmmm, advice for AO3 writers? Honestly, I feel like I'm a bit under qualified for that because I'd been an anon reader for over ten years until July when I finally created an account so I could post Another Level 😂😂

BUT, I do have a few thoughts. I'll try to keep these as simple as my over-explaining ass can 🫠 (Kiko did not keep it simple. I ranted and this post is hella long, I am so sorry.)

If you haven't already, you can read Another Level on AO3 💕

On writing in general: Write for you.

1) I know I've said this before, but it's true. Write as if no one else will ever see what you're writing to begin with. That's how I started with Another Level. I never intended for anyone else to see it when I first started. On the flip side of this though, don't be afraid of bouncing ideas off others.

It's likely vain of me, but I genuinely enjoy reading my own writing. I try very hard to make sure that what I'm posting is something I enjoy reading. But it makes it so much easier to write if you enjoy reading it, because you're just as excited to read it and see what happens as someone who isn't in your head.

2) I think that something really important for when that creativity slows in one area, don't force yourself to keep going if you don't have to. Hobbies are supposed to be fun, not an obligation or a stressor.

Once the joy fades from a hobby, it's no longer a hobby.

Think of it this way: since May of this year, I've written around 300k words for different fanfics. If we look at that from the perspective of a single-spaced, 12pt font perspective, that is 300 pages. I've written the equivalent of a gosh dang Dissertation. But here's the difference between Another Level and a Dissertation: writing and researching for Another Level was fun. It was something I wanted to do.

(We'll ignore the fact that I didn't have to teach classes and grade papers simultaneously as well. I do and don't miss grad school And honestly, I miss teaching. But academia can kiss my ass.)

3) Write what you want to write, not what others expect you to write. This isn't your job. You aren't being paid for a word count or hours put in, you're doing this for you and for fun. When you let other's expectations drive you instead of your own desire, that happiness is fleeting and it's easy to burnout fast.

4) Follow your inspiration fairies, even if only briefly. You don't have to write out an entire universe, and you don't have to keep what you write. But sometimes you have to get rid of the brainworms to make room for other ideas. I've realized that a few of my Goinko 'au' ideas are literally better just as little headcannons or blurbs and nothing more. And that's okay, because now I got them out of my system.

5) If you want to write and finish a series, only post for that series. I'm learning this the hard way right now with Gokduō and Physical Paradox. It is really hard to focus on one or the other because I feel an odd pressure to get the next parts done for both, which is completely the opposite of what it should be.

The pressure drains my creativity, and I've found myself struggling because I'm too worried about what people will think of it instead of what I want it to be. In all honesty, I had a moment today where I almost decided I don't want to finish Gokudō because I'm not sure where to take it, but I realized I just need some time away from trying to force myself.

6) If you're unhappy with it, don't be afraid to scrap it. Use it as a starting point if you want, but don't get too attached to it if you don't like where it's going. Take a step back and ask if/how it's getting you where you want to go with that work, and if it doesn't help you get there, then it can go.

What was my approach with Another Level? (includes JJK Manga spoilers)

I'll elaborate a bit more on how I had things mapped out before I started posting first. Essentially, when the Gojo/Sukuna fight started in the manga, I just knew Gojo was going to die. In my mind, there was no way Akutami would let him live, and I was in a really bad place mentally and wasn't sure how I'd be able to handle it. And then I was like "wait, that's literally why we have fanfic, I can keep him alive as long as I want."

So, I started Another Level with the intention to keep it to myself and use it as my own comfort fic to prepare myself for Gojo's death. Some behind the scenes info: a version of the dream Rinko had in Split Bluff was the very first thing I wrote for Another Level. Except it originally wasn't a dream, it was going to be their reunion. However, they weren't as close, they were solidly friends with benefits who barely knew each other. Then, I wrote a part where Rinko first meets Yuuji at the Goodwill Event and she was Maki's legal guardian and still a teacher at Kyoto Tech, then I went further back and wrote her asking Gojo to get Maki enrolled at Tokyo Tech, and then I went further back and wrote Make a God Bleed.

As you already know because you've read Another Level, none of those stayed the same because then, as I kept writing, Rinko took on a life of her own. She became so much more than just a random OC that I threw together without thinking. And I have to say that I'm so glad she did because I'm not sure I would have been able to deal with 236 without Rinko. Some people have said Rinko helped them, but she's helped me so much as well. I mean it when I say she's cemented herself as my favorite original character that I've ever written because she has so much depth and heart that I accidentally poured into her. Not to mention that she's helped me meet some really amazing people along the way.

I'm in a bit of a rut now because I was on a marathon of writing for about five or six months. I started writing Another Level in May, and while I wrote the first draft for All That I Am Is Yours probably in June or July, I pretty much completely rewrote it once we actually got there. Between May and now, I've written upwards of 300k words of JJK fanfic, not including the installments or drafts I scrapped completely 🙃

Posting schedule with Another Level:

As someone who is severely ADHD, my hyperfocus was strong with Another Level. I was obsessed. And I was even more obsessed when I realized people were enjoying reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

In all honesty, part of what kept me on a strict uploading schedule with Another Level was a desire for the validation and praise in the comments. While I had a lot written, I uploaded so quickly because I wanted to get that lil rush from seeing the comments.

Kiko is about to do a lil bit of oversharing for ya: I'd just left a job where I'd spent the last six months there with my formerly wonderful boss decided to blame me for every little thing that went wrong, and then she couldn't understand why my performance actually started to drop. I hadn't heard a damn word of positive feedback for anything I did in so long that the comments on Another Level helped pull me out of a very depressive state.

But, it quickly became unhealthy because I started to rely on them to the point where it was all I cared about. All I cared about was seeing comments on the newest Another Level installment, and when there wasn't feedback, I got all in my head about what I'd done wrong and wanted to post the next installment as quickly as possible because maybe that one would do better.

Now, this is not me saying that wanting comments is a bad thing. Feedback is very important, and it's hard to know if people are enjoying something when there's not anything to go on. But it does become a problem if it's the only reason you're writing. I've been very fortunate in that I haven't gotten comments or messages demanding updates because I've seen that others do receive those sometimes. I like to think it's because you guys are just awesome and wonderful people.

I've gotten a bit better about being obsessed with comments because I have this nice lil corner of wonderful people and I feel like I've made a few genuine friends here. (Hi Rai, if you're reading this, I hope you're doing well.)

I know that what I just described for my Another Level posting schedule contradicts what I said in the beginning, but I will say that while my posting schedule was heavily driven by that need for praise, my writing schedule was not. I was writing so much because I was enjoying myself. I was having more fun writing than I had in years. I still am, but I do have to keep reminding myself some of the points I made above otherwise I find myself falling into a rut.

THIS WAS PROBABLY WAY MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR AND I AM SO SORRY 🫠

BUT I HOPE IT MADE SENSE AND THAT IT WASN'T JUST COMPLETELY FUCKING USELESS 😭😭🙃

[dream-wrecker-blog]

Hey guys. Sooo we all know that I’m not consistent on here. But when I show up! You have to admit, that its good. Lol

So today I had a really good conversation within myself.

To paint a clear picture, I work over nights. Which is really important. I’ll be explained later on. So my work night starts at 20:30 hrs. And thats just prep time. I actually start work at 21:00. I’m a newly promoted person in charge. Im a (SUPERIOR!!!!)

In my profession. It takes a while to earn this status. Which at one point I had turn down. So… to make a bigger deal of my position. There’s tiers. 1-9 and I’m at 5. But when I started this security position, which is part time by the way. I entered at level 3. Which cave me a bit of an ego boost. I’ve been with this part time security organization for 7 years. I would have been a tier 6 but because I declined my position before I’m at tier 5. Which at the time. I have to say was very wise.

So from 21:00 until 05:00 hrs. My team and I are a presence. A deterrent as you will. Most of us professional and proficient. While others are clearly here to cash the checks and buy a house.

At 05:00hrs. I head home. By which I go to through public transit. The 4 or 3 train to Brooklyn. YEA!!! Brooklyn. A part of New York I’m never really in. Or care to be in. Its a part of New York that feels as if its just segregated. And there’s just no need to be apart of. I mean they are the part of the city that get hit with the storms first. Thus! Slowing it down over the rest of the city.

By the tome I get home its 06:00hrs. And I take a shower and brush my teeth. I have a personal belief that when you work in service. Helping demographics that are under privileged, there negative energy clings to you.

When I w home the bathroom is the first place I go. I undress myself and kick the clothes in a corner. And get in the tub. I wash with soap thats been infused with green tea sage and one other banisher. And once I’m wet I wash my face and brush my teeth in the shower. Because why not! Once I get dressed I don’t see the point. While tired, doing these grooming steps I could have do e while in the shower.

After doing those tedious things. I begin to chant to my spirits and call them to help me remove the energy I picked up. And I continue to do this procedure until I feel clean and almost see the negative energy in the suds going down the drain.

Once I finish, I get out the tub and immediately from the back I stand and spray in the direction of the drain with bleach. After that I leave the bathroom. Prep some tea and take multivitamins capsules. Head back into the bathroom and run the shower on cold. Until the bleach is gone.

This is all the things I do before I head to bed. Once I jump in my sweet cradle of rest. I knock out for a few hours. By this time its 08:00. Then I typically sleep for 7 hours. And I should be awake at 14:00hrs. And procrastinate for an hour. Then I go the gym and hype myself up to be a body builder. To only almost die from too much pre-workout. Lol.

Yes this is true it happens a little too often for my liking. But after going to the gym at 1600 i head back to house to shower again and do this routine all over again.

Sounds like a lot right! Well… it is. Usually my job allows me to be in a hotel. “Great right” but! There are stipulations to these. Such as distance and how long it takes you to get to work. Unfortunately, for me I don’t quality. It takes me only (30/1.45) min from new lots to 42nd street. And I’m less than 30 miles. Soooo…….. yup..!… I don’t qualify

Honestly, its actually a good thing that I’m not in a hotel because they reserve the right to check your room. And you cannot have people over which sucks because I would have slutted it up

So the whole point of this rant is to give you insight into my day! Im 3 weeks in and to myself, walking home from the gym I had to express to myself out loud. I’m……. Not……… happy!!!!

Recently I had my own very modern version of eat pray love. Where I went to Africa on the east cost. And I with a very well established team help liberate this 3rd world group of people. We pretty my educated them on various methods of self preservation. My hand in it was cooking and giving my love and life into the food. They were eating.

There! I learned I wasn’t happy either. But there I had time to burn. Burn in the sense I was working and getting paid very well and!!! And! I had tome to think! All of my basic needs were met and I truly was able to deeply self reflect.

My reflection told me I wasted time and parts of my life on things that don’t even belong to me. Which is the hate I had for my parents. The anger I had towards people who intentionally did me wrong.

So here! I caught myself falling back into the same behavior.

I’m not happy.

So! I might have to quit for the sake of my mental and emotional health. I’m not doing what feeds my soul. Which is art! Sex and poetry.

[salsakiyoomi]

suna fucked up.

well not yet, not technically yet.

but he knows he's about to, he's about to make it worse, since he 'lowkey' screwed up beforehand too.

dammit, why did he act so recklessly, why did he let the words slip by so easily?

he let's out a groan, remembering what had happened just a few hours ago.

he almost wants to slam his head on the steering wheel.

you were laughing, grinning at suna, it was a little around ten in the evening now, suna and you deciding that that was it for this hangout tonight, or else you'd be waking up the next morning with one hell of hangover if you stay any longer.

"i had fun today," you said, smiling at him, "like really, loads of fun."

it's true, it's the most fun you've had in a while, being out since ten in the morning, roaming all around town, grabbing a bite and watching the sunset while playing your songs, with your most favourite person too, your best friend.

"i know," he replies, "i had loads of fun too, more than you could imagine."

suna is, more or less of a monotonous person — he's okay with people, he interacts with them and he has more than a few acquaintances, but not that much friends, muchless best friends — well, except the miya twins, and then there was you.

sure, he had known you since highschool, heck, highschool's the root of your friendship — but then again, you were just someone in his home room class at first, he never really paid any mind to you, then the music club happened and that's when you became more distinct to suna, he always paid mind to you, having more interactions with you — it wasn't just about the fact that you both had the same music taste, well, it used to be about that at first, but then it slowly became about the way that your eyes glimmered whenever you two were together, about the way you stumbled on your words when you were ranting about that one song you liked, it became more about the frequently increasing hangouts you both had and the amount of pictures you two took, it was about the way when you smiled at him as you handed him a gift for no specific occasion whatsoever, saying 'it's just so you would remember me.'

he thinks he could never forget you, because boy oh boy, did he fall head over heels for you.

you grinned at him, "yeah, i bet it was because you were with me, huh." 

you were sitting at the driveway of your place in suna's car, him suggesting that he would drop you off the same way he picked you up.

he smirked back at you, "you know it,"

you laughed, shaking your head, "my god, you're so in love with me."

now this, this was nothing more than teasing remarks between two best friends, you were only just messing around with eachother,

"i am," suna replied.

now, something about the longing expression and yearning gaze he had set on you, and the way his voice dropped when he said that told you that he wasn't just messing around.

a moment of silence passed, and then another, until the deep breath you take breaks the deafening silence as you open the passenger's seat door, ready to take your leave. "yeah, goodnight, rin."

yeah, he most definitely fucked up.

now it's one in the morning, and he's sitting in his car at the parking lot of your favourite hangout park, staring at your contact that has been silent for way too long.

honestly, he wanted to confess to you, it's just, that wasn't how he recited it in front of the mirror and nothing like he had in mind.

now he's debating whether to call you or not.

"screw it," he mutters, pressing the call button to your contact and it only takes a few rings before going straight to voicemail.

of course, you'd be asleep by now.

"uh, hey," he starts, and he doesn't say anything for the next second.

"i just wanted to say," he lags, "actually, i don't know what i want to say," another second of silence.

"look," he begins, "you're my best friend, and i, i'm in love with you, cheesy, right?" he says — and god, this is going absouletly nothing like how he thought he would confess.

"i don't know if you feel the same or if you just see us as friends but," he lags again, laughing bitterly, he can almost feel his heart breaking at the thought of you rejecting him, but well, you already had.

"i just want you to know that, you're the only one who makes my heart skip a beat."

suna can't decide whether he wants to say more or not, a few moments of silence hanging in the air until he presses send.

there's no going back now.

he groans, leaning back in his seat, he can't tell if he regrets this or if he's content with it because there's this huge weight that's been lifted off of his shoulders and sure, as much as it feels better, it's replaced now with another weight — the dread of your response.

a subtle knock on his window is enough to snap him out of his thoughts as he almost jumps out of his skin, turning to the window abruptly.

and he sees you, smiling sheepishly at him as you wave your hand, then point at the lock.

suna unlocks the car for you, watches as you move around to the passenger seat, open the door and climb in.

"hey," nervous as he is, he still decides to speak first, confused by your sudden arrival — sure, the park is only a couple of minutes away from your place but he's not quite sure whether you heard his voicemail or not — "what're you doing here?"

you smile at him, "i'm here because you're the only one who makes my heart skip a beat too,"

[giddlygoat]

"I could fix this movie" tell us how 👀 I can sense you have rant-worthy opinions and am very curious 👀 pls elaborate

okay, i said i would write some of my thoughts on the lorax 2012 in detail, so here we go. 

(roughly 2k words under the cut (help))

first of all, i just want to say i actually enjoyed some parts of the movie quite a lot (and for different reasons). while i have lots of problems with it, and some pretty huge ones at that, i thought the film was very pretty and certain scenes and visual elements (ted riding his scooter through the outer walls of the city in the beginning with the schlop river beneath him, and some of the architecture that stayed very true to dr. seuss’ illustrations) will definitely stick with me because of how well they were conveyed artistically. 

but. 

i don’t like the movie as a whole. i actually dislike it a lot. to put it shortly, i didn’t care about most of the cast (especially not ted), i felt that the moral of the story was greatly distorted to the point that it achieved basically nothing in the way of teaching kids the lesson, and while i love the onceler’s character, i hate that character as the onceler. or at least i would have much rather seen his decent portrayed in a way more serious light where they could hold him fully accountable for his actions and make the audience actually hate him for it, even if he’s still a sympathetic character that ends up regretting it. it could’ve been done a lot better. 

i won’t go into every little thing that i want to critique about this movie because that would take hours to type, but i will illustrate what kind of movie i would have liked to see. 

it was only after i rewatched the 2012 movie about a week ago that i finally found the time to also watch the 1972 film again and hooooboy. it’s so obvious now what i was struggling to see. 

i knew a lot was wrong with the 2012 film and i knew that i didn’t like the way they illustrated the reckless detriment to the environment. but now, having freshly watched the (delightfully done) 1972 short movie i can say without a doubt i prefer the original film much more. 

now, that’s not exactly a fair comparison in most ways because obviously they were both meant to be very different movies, but in terms of coherency, morals, and overall charm, the 1972 film is superior to me in every way. 

in the 2012 film it’s like they whittled the point down to a blunt nub and barely managed to get it half across throughout the ~hour and and a half of run time. they muddied the moral of the story so much that i had to constantly remind myself that the lorax was supposed to be the likable character that the audience should side with whole heartedly. that the onceler and the results of his horrendous actions were supposed to be scary in “how bad can i be”. that ted existed. 

the movie was a mess. o’hare was unnecessary and boring. and while thneedville was definitely not portrayed like the kind of place i would ever want to live, they made it abundantly clear that the citizens loved it there. not a single character cared about the trees save for the woodland creatures, the lorax and the onceler towards the very end of his arc. which honestly would have been totally fine if they didn’t try to then shove an unnecessary side plot with ted and audrey in there. 

this isn’t to say i automatically dislike a remake or adaptation for trying to expand on originally simplified or vague plot/characters. in fact, that’s one of my favorite concepts in the realm of art, especially if it’s done with a lot of heart for the original content! but the lorax 2012 didn’t feel like it was written with the intention of preserving the moral of the story and supplying generations of fans with a beautiful retelling of what to me was the most moving story i’ve ever read by dr. seuss. it felt like a cash grab, and i don’t think i need to explain why that’s even more messed up than usual in this scenario, under these circumstances. 

before i spiral into the void of endless complaints however, i want to turn my focus on the things i did like about the 2012 movie for a moment. 

i loved the art! the visual storytelling, character design, and animation was pretty great, and a few scenes did more for me visually than the poorly adapted story every could. it was clear they were not lacking in great minds in their art department. i would like to shake the hand of whoever was in charge of directing the onceler, because i don’t think i’ve ever been quite so mesmerized and captivated by the way a character moves and conveys moods and emotions on screen. the onceler’s acting (and incredible voice talent btw) is the only reason i can rewatch so many scenes from the movie over and over again. it truly inspires me as an artist and almost makes me forget the sour taste in my mouth. he’s just so bouncy and vibrant and stands out from everything else so perfectly, and the sheer amount of goofy charm they were able to cram into his body language is mind blowing to me. 

and as i mentioned, i loved the onceler’s voice. i grew up watching the office, and andy bernard (also played by mr. ed helms) was my favorite character for ages. his bright ties and unabashed goofiness and constant breaking out into song really made me smile as a kid, and while his character was certainly not the most considerate or emotionally intelligent at times, i could always forgive him for that signature silly charm. i love characters like that, and when the onceler began speaking, i immediately recognized his voice. it wasn’t until after i finished the movie that i looked up who it was to be sure, and the confirmation made me chuckle. 

and about the onceler’s characterization! as a character, i love him. he’s goofy, lanky, relatable, way over the top, and horribly sympathetic. my heart goes out to a guy who’s just trying to prove himself worthy of his momma’s love, despite being told he would never amount to anything. like dang, at that point the onceler in the movie could have just been a sad little puppy out in the rain and it would have inspired basically the same reactions out of me. i can’t think of a single way to make me like him more. 

and that’s why i love him as a character but hate him as the onceler. 

or perhaps more accurately; why i am disappointed that they didn’t do a better job of illustrating his decent as the literal villain of the story. 

at this point, i wonder why they even called the movie “the lorax”. i don’t know what they thought they would gain by claiming it to be an adaptation if it barely feels like the original content at all. don’t even get me started on how the lorax in the 1972 film was a lovable, considerate little sweetheart with not an ounce of spite in him, but how the lorax in the 2012 film is a neck-cracking, fist-shaking mean old sack of dirt. yeah, i still rooted for him because his role in the story was to protect the trees, but i barley cared about him beyond. the characterization didn’t fit in the slightest. 

what i really wish they had done in the 2012 film, if i had to work with a similar cast and accept that this movie is going to be a retelling at best, goes something like this:

make thneedville a clearly terrible place to live. maybe not at very first glance - maybe they are good at ignoring their predicament sometimes, but the sky can’t be blue and the citizens can’t be bopping along with great big smiles on their faces all the time like nothing ever happened. paint a picture of urgency and desperation for a better quality of life that thneedville in the 1972 film did so perfectly, even with a single shot. the town looked grey and desolate. it looked like a town that was actually living with the aftermath of pollution. 

make audrey actually care about the environment, rather than simply thinking trees are neat for the aesthetic, or whatever her deal was in the 2012 film. show her actively trying to make a difference and having some real drive. let her show the audience some reasons to root for her and get attached.

ted could still be motivated entirely by his crush on audrey in the beginning. i think that could potentially be funny. but throughout the movie, for the love of all that is green, please give him a clear moment of realization. give him purpose. make me care about this stupid kid. i want a scene where his eyes get big and he realizes how much falls on his shoulders. i want to see him and audrey working together and having a meaningful arc. 

and for the sake of this hypothetical movie, say the onceler remains the character that he is in the beginning here. he’s the quirky, optimistic, lovable guitar slapping youngin that we all know and love. now let the story progress as it did, and let him chop down his first tree. now, enter the lorax. 

i can say without hesitation that i much prefer the considerate sweetheart from the 1972 movie. but i can’t say that i think that perosnality and the 2012 onceler’s perosnality would make for a very good dynamic on screen together, in this particular revision of the story. i know why the writers made the lorax a grumpy pants in the later movie - the interactions are funnier when him and oncie can butt heads and argue and glare at each other. that is entertaining when done right. and honestly, i would be completely fine with it, if they had made the lorax sympathetic just like the onceler. if they had shown his sweet side and toned it down by like, eleven notches with the sexist jokes about the onceler’s aunt.

i want to see the lorax get really anxious about the situation. i want to see him kindly beg the onceler to stop chopping down trees before he thinks about threatening him with the forces of nature or whatever. i want to see the lorax worry, as well as watch him huff and shake his fists. give it some weight. 

and finally, i want a movie where the onceler’s thneed empire is built in great detail. let him slide down the slippery slope ungracefully and don’t sugar coat it. let my stomach twist up in knots because i want to love him but he’s just thrown his good sense out the window for the sake of building his success. i want to watch a movie with a villain arc that’s told as masterfully as it is in “biggering”. i want a scene where he battles his conscious figuring on wether or not this was worth it. in fact, i want that movie so bad it more often than not drives me to fits of frustration. 

how i could love a single character from a frankly bad movie this much, i’m not even entirely sure. the onceler in the 2012 film is the best thing about it and even he wasn’t done faithfully to the original. he didn’t make a bad enough villain for it to be a good enough movie. 

doesn’t mean i’m not going to keep thinking and thinking about this until my brain fries, and perhaps my perspective will change over time, but right now all i really am is disappointed. 

despite it all though, i love the onceler in the 2012 film on his own, and i’m doing my best to enjoy what i can given the unfortunate circumstances. i’m just trying to have fun and not overthink it too much. not all the time, anyway. 

i know you probably weren’t expecting an essay so i’m sorry about that anon, but i’ve been a mess over this stupid movie and i needed to get it all out. i hope it wasn’t too much like a cheese grater on your brain to read. thanks for asking!

[ihavenocluedude]

The Visits ~ Planning (part 1/?)

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader 

Link to reading this on Ao3       Link to my main masterlist

Link to The Visits masterlist

A/N - This first part is hella short but it’s mostly sort of a prologue ish thing? All of the other parts are going to be much longer though. The plan was to start posting this once I’ve officially written it all but I desperately want to get this out before volume two comes bc I am so not ready for vol.2... Jfc.

Summary - Eddie’s been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Even nowadays when you’re at college several hours away he wants and makes the effort to visit. And now he wants to visit for a whole week. 

The last part(s) are planned to be 18+ so... I recommend not reading this if you’re a minor but if you want to read the chapters leading up to it then fine but dni with the ones I actually warn are going to be 18+ thnks. 

Word Count - 689

Spring, 1986

”I want to visit.”

”Yeah?”

”A week. Start of summer break.”

”A week? You’ve only been here like a day at most before. Are you sure you’re not going to get sick of me?” Well, that maybe wasn’t completely true. But the first visit had just been a weekend, where he got there late on Friday night and left mid-Sunday. And the second was just one night.

”We literally spend almost every day together when you’re in Hawkins-”

”True.”

”- and I would like to get there and not have to drive home the day right after or to just have one single day of not being on the road.” He explained, his voice sounding rushed but trying to talk slowly as to let every ’argument’ settle in, and sighing before he added ”And… I miss you.” He did have some very good arguments. And having Eddie in your apartment for more than just a day, in the city you honestly loved more than you’d ever loved Hawkins? That would make the city infinitely better. After all, Eddie was one of the factors that made Hawkins way better.

”You do know you’re just going to sort of delay my arrival to Hawkins if you visit when summer break begins?”

”Perfect, I can drive you back so you don’t have to sit on that fucking bus again.”

”Eddie. The bus is fine.” It was expensive, uncomfortable, and had once caused you to get sick for two weeks because someone with a cold they shouldn’t have been traveling with sat right next to you. So it wasn’t great but it was fine.

”But it would cost way less to just come with me. The trip would be almost completely free in fact.”

”Almost completely?”

”Well I do expect you to pay for snacks.” Eddie scoffed with a laugh with a tone that told you that it was clearly obvious. You loved those kinds of moments where you could hear the grin on his face through the phone. The sort of moments where you could just picture him.

The grin on his face, his jacket thrown just somewhere on the floor, him laying on his bed, probably smoking, and some music playing way too quietly for being metal music in the background. You missed laying there beside him, sharing the smoke or just talking shit, feeling the warmth of his body next to you.

”Of course…” You chuckled in response before letting out a sigh and continuing, ”Fine Eddie. I’ll let you drive me back. So, when are you visiting?”

~~~

You’d known Eddie for longer than you could remember.

Which meant that you remembered the fluffy-haired child who’d smile at almost every person he met. That you remembered the more sheltered kid who’d buzzed his hair one day impulsively. That you remembered the teenager who’d rant to you about music and almost force you to all of his band’s performances. And that you know the Eddie who still reminds you so much of that fluffy-haired kid.

But all of this also meant you had seen him through the process of him building up the walls to try and protect himself from others. Seen him stop being that child who’d smile at everyone. Seen how it affected him when the kids at school first started calling him a freak.

It wasn’t like any of it affected your friendship, not in a bad way anyway. It was all just cruel kids, or just in general cruel people. You were just happy you were there for him. That you could be the person he’d biked to in the middle of the night when he was 12. Scared shitless because of a nightmare he’d had when his uncle was working his regular night shift. Or be the person who’d constantly shout back insults at the bullies whenever they called him a freak until he pretty much forced you to stop doing that.

Eddie Munson might just be one of the most valuable people in your life. And that is scary as fuck when you’re both still growing up and currently not even doing it together anymore.

[asthmark]

❝ chemistry ❞ o.st

synopsis → osaki shotaro moving to town means trips to the dance studio, boba dates, and the perpetual teasing of lee donghyuck. 

pairing → shotaro, reader

requested? → yes! based off @onlyjihoons​​’s shipping game answer ♡

word count → 5.5k (this was supposed to be 1k.... goodbye.)

a/n → i enjoy writing texting scenes WAY too much ;; tbh this is like 50% texts im cryign but i had to convey how much i love 00 line .... and also how firmly i believe in lee donghyuck devil supremacy. as always, feedback is greatly appreciated and enjoy! 

+

if someone were to ask you how you felt about your friends, you would without any hesitation, answer that you loved them to death. of course, if you were being completely honest, you would also have to add that you experienced the urge to strangle them from time to time. that might earn you a couple odd stares but you’re sure people would be more understanding if they knew who was in your inner circle to begin with.

for starters, there was lee jeno — tall, handsome, and the textbook definition of a gentleman. then, na jaemin, who you would consider to be the yin to jeno’s yang. an extremely energetic guy and, in your book, a total freak of nature ever since you found out that he inhales four shots of espresso on the daily. liu yangyang was a more recent addition to your group but, being as quick-witted as he was, he quickly fit right in. he also had a habit of going on somewhat aggressive rants in german which renjun found to be extremely amusing. speaking of, huang renjun was another one of your close friends — the shortest of the group, actually. (and, much to renjun’s dismay, that’s exactly how donghyuck liked to introduce him to people.) he was the type of guy you could trust to keep everyone in check which consequently made you mildly terrified of him.

however, it could never compare to the perpetual fear you have of lee donghyuck. 

of course, you love him to pieces but sometimes you really wish he didn’t find so much joy in, well, making everyone miserable. you couldn’t deny it was funny to watch him tease and taunt your other friends. you still remember him purposefully messing up renjun’s game at the local arcade just when he was about to reach his high score — and also the way renjun had tackled him to the floor right then and there, resulting in the six of you being banned from the place. or, that time he offered to pay for everyone’s starbucks orders only to tell the barista that jaemin’s name was ben dover. (to no one’s surprise, yangyang had found that joke particularly hilarious.) you can also clearly recall how hard you had laughed in both of those situations.

but, donghyuck never let anyone laugh for too long.

according to him it was ’only fair’ to make sure each of his friends was at the receiving end of his gags. so, despite laughing at his latest victim’s expense, each of you knew that donghyuck would make sure you were in the same position sooner or later.

you definitely weren’t expecting it to be your turn one dull friday evening.

things are going slow for you as you sit at your desk, typing away on your laptop. school has been out for hours and your professors have decided to be saints and leave you little homework for the weekend. beside you, your phone dings, alerting you of the new text message in your group chat.

[4:23 pm] hyuck: i’m bored 🥺

[4:23 pm] you: plz never use that emoji again

[4:24 pm] nana: it’s misleading dude

[4:25 pm] yangx2: yeah like when have u ever made a face that isn’t this 😈

[4:25 pm] renjun: donghyuck is the devil = confirmed

[4:25 pm] nana: CALLED IT

[4:26 pm] hyuck: u guys are literally so evil

jeno laughed at “u guys are literally so evil”

[4:27 pm] jeno: look who’s talking lol

[4:27 pm] you: dangg u know it’s bad when lee jeno disses u

[4:28 pm] jeno: ...ngl it kinda feels like ur shading me rn

[4:28 pm] you: u would be correct :)

[4:29 pm] hyuck: um HELLO can u guys go back to paying attention to me???

[4:29 pm] renjun: what do u want, diva?

[4:29 pm] hyuck: i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(

renjun disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

yangx2 disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

you disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

nana disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

jeno disliked “i just wanna spend some quality time with my best friends ;(”

[4:30 pm] hyuck: OH COME ON

[4:30 pm] yangx2: i think what u meant to say is that u wanna make one of us very miserable today, right?

[4:30 pm] hyuck: .....no comment

nana renamed the group chat “hyuck hate club”

[4:31 pm] hyuck: ok i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

[4:31 pm] jeno: well now u know what it’s like to be friends with u

[4:31 pm] you: so true king omg ur on a roll

[4:32 pm] hyuck: hmm okay so either jeno or y/n is gonna be today’s target, got it

[4:32 pm] hyuck: anyway can u guys come down to the dance studio now??

[4:32 pm] you: what makes u think i would go anywhere near u when i know ur plotting ur revenge on me as we speak

[4:32 pm] hyuck: because maybe i’ll have mercy on u and just terrorize jeno instead

[4:33 pm] you: good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!

[4:33 pm] jeno: HEY

nana laughed at “good enough for me! thnx bestie, see u soon!!”

[4:34 pm] yangx2: u literally cannot trust anyone in this friend group

[4:34 pm] renjun: ikr isn’t it great???

you might have been slightly out of your mind to willingly go see donghyuck knowing you had teased him in your group chat earlier. although, if there was a slight chance he would show you mercy if you did hang out with him, you were going to take it.

the studio was where you had first met donghyuck, along with the rest of your friends due to the dance classes you attended. after bumping into each in between classes and during practice, you began to get well acquainted. turns out, the six of you actually got along incredibly well and after a while, you began to share routines and tips, even choreographing together from time to time. obviously, this led to the infamous group chat being formed and lots of time spent outside the studio as well.

but, none of you had lost that love for dancing. in fact, forming your little clique had only made it grow. as you opened the front doors of the building you had made so many memories in, you wondered if donghyuck wanted your insight on a certain routine or needed some help choreographing. of course, there was also the possibility that he really was just bored and wanted you to suffer with him.

what you did not expect, however, was to see him caught up in conversation with another person. you couldn’t clearly see them with donghyuck in the way; all you knew for certain was that your best friend’s mouth was moving a mile a minute. you tentatively tiptoe into the room, hoping to not intrude on their discussion. but, at hearing the doors creak open, donghyuck puts his rant on pause to enthusiastically wave you over.

you sigh, putting your belongings down and approaching the pair. as you near, you notice that hyuck has a huge smile — no, smirk — on his face. you internally curse yourself for believing that he would ever pass up an opportunity to torment you, especially in front of a stranger.

“this is a very dear friend of mine,” you hear him introduce to his acquaintance. “her name is y/n. she dances, too.”

“oh, that’s really cool!”

the stranger’s unusually cheery tone prompts you to finally peek behind donghyuck and put a face to the voice.

and what a face he has.

“this is shotaro,” donghyuck informs you. “he’s new to town and quite the dancer. caught him in the middle of a routine.”

your knees almost wobble as you take in the stranger — shotaro’s — kind eyes that almost sparkle. (you aren’t sure if it’s because of the fluorescent lights of the studio or just part of his charm.) his lips are curved up into a friendly smile that makes you feel slightly giddy. his hair falls into his face almost perfectly, not a strand out of place and you’re uncertain as to how that’s even possible since, as donghyuck had said, he was dancing. not to mention, there’s not a bead of sweat on his face. did this guy come straight out of a disney movie or something?

“excuse her,” donghyuck chuckles. “good looking people tend to make her freeze up. don’t worry, this happened when she met me, too.”

you offer your friend a glare and an elbow to the side and you swear you hear shotaro chuckle. you turn to him instead, putting on a welcoming smile.

“my bad, i just—”

“got lost in his eyes?”

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “donghyuck, please don’t make me have to attack you in front of our guest.”

more giggles escape shotaro. (you swear it’s the prettiest thing you’ve ever heard.) you curiously tilt your head at him.

“sorry, it’s just that, you guys are too funny,” he admits with a sheepish smile.

you mirror his grin, slightly relieved he was amused instead of weirded out. “yeah, well, just wait ’til you meet the rest of us. it’s like a circus show, you’ll love it.”

“hello, clowns!”

“speak of the devil,” donghyuck murmurs, watching as yangyang and renjun enter, followed by jeno and jaemin.

“woah, who’s the cutie?” yangyang asks renjun, in what you presume he thinks is a whisper. however, yangyang has never spoken quietly a day in his life. renjun simply shrugs at his question.

having clearly heard the compliment, a faint blush creeps onto shotaro’s cheeks.

“guys, this is shotaro,” donghyuck answers, tugging the sandy blonde forward.

he gives a somewhat shy wave. “hi, y/n’s friends.”

jaemin erupts into laughter. “uh oh, looks like he likes y/n more than hyuck.”

“don’t blame him,” jeno mutters.

shotaro’s forehead creases, face suddenly twisted in worry. “oh, i’m sorry, was i not supposed to say that?”

“oh no, don’t worry,” donghyuck denies, quickly. “i’m sure y/n doesn’t mind at all, right?”

if you could crawl into a hole to avoid the embarrassment, you would. of course, donghyuck was 100% right; you really didn’t mind shotaro calling the group that if it meant you could hear him say your name over and over again. in fact, his sweet voice could probably make the dictionary sound like the most addictive song. but, donghyuck had no right putting you on the spot like that.

jeno suddenly speaks, catching on to your flustered state and donghyuck’s evil grin. “so, it’s y/n’s turn today? sweet, i’m off the hook!”

shotaro furrows his brows slightly. “huh?”

“oh, it’s just an inside joke,” jeno says, smile reaching all the way up to his eyes.

you wish you could strangle him right then and there for finding amusement at your expense but the last thing you want is for shotaro to think you’re some sort of psychopath. (although, with a friend group like this, you’re definitely beginning to think that’s where you’re headed.)

“got it,” shotaro responds, breaking out into a grin himself. “you guys seem like a really close bunch!”

“the closest,” donghyuck corrects, overly sweet, as he wraps an arm around you. (you resist the urge to shove him off.) “you’ll fit right in!”

+

you believed that the torture was over the day donghyuck introduced shotaro to your group. you would probably just see him from time to time and the studio (hopefully without hyuck around) and it would all be downhill from there, right? the latest notification on your phone alerts you that you are absolutely wrong.

hyuck has added one (1) user to the group chat

[1:05 pm] hyuck: welcome shotaro!!

[1:06 pm] unknown: oh hey guys! :]

the emoticon almost makes your heart beat right out of your chest. you roll your eyes in frustration at how easily affected you were by this guy. seriously, why did everything he do have to be so cute? regardless, you quickly add his number to your contacts.

[1:06 pm] hyuck: why don’t we do a little roll call so shotaro can save ur numbers to his phone

[1:07 pm] yangx2: YANGYANG

[1:07 pm] yangx2: HA I WAS FIRST

[1:07 pm] jeno: ...

[1:08 pm] jeno: anyway this is jeno :)

[1:08 pm] nana: jaemin present!

[1:08 pm] renjun: hi shotaro, this is renjun

[1:10 pm] shotaro: haha cool thanks a lot, i just saved all ur numbers!

[1:10 pm] shotaro: but quick question, is y/n in this group chat? :0

you almost drop your phone at reading shotaro’s message although you’re unsure why. he just typed your name, get it together, you urge yourself.

[1:11 pm] you: heyy shotaro! i’m right here :)

[1:11 pm] shotaro: oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^

hyuck disliked “oh yayy! i’m so glad ^^”

[1:12 pm] hyuck: shotaro plz return my love what does she have that i don’t T-T

[1:12 pm] nana: a heart

[1:12 pm] yangx2: a brain

[1:12 pm] jeno: a conscience

[1:12 pm] renjun: a functioning moral compass

[1:13 pm] hyuck: wtf

[1:13 pm] shotaro: ahahaha it’s like i’m watching a comedy

[1:14 pm] you: told u it’s a circus

[1:14 pm] you: i say get out while u still can

[1:14 pm] shotaro: whaatt and leave u behind? no way!

nana renamed the group chat “shotaro x y/n supremacists”

[1:15 pm] jeno: my thoughts exactly

[1:15 pm] renjun: took the words right out of my mouth

you cringe at your friends’ blunt behavior, praying shotaro didn’t find their antics to be too strange.

[1:16 pm] shotaro: 😳

[1:16 pm] nana: aww someone’s shy

[1:17 pm] renjun: he wouldn’t last a day in itzy

[1:17 pm] yangx2: HELPP

you shake your head, laughing silently to yourself as you mute the group chat and place your phone back down. although, moments later, you receive a direct message. you presume it’s one of the boys trying to rope you back into the chat but the moment you see the contact name, you’re forced to do a double take.

[1:21 pm] shotaro: i hope i’m not bothering u but i just wanted to make sure ur okay .. you kinda went quiet in the gc :>

[1:21 pm] shotaro: it’s shotaro from the dance studio btw!

you can’t help but find the fact that he seriously thought you wouldn’t remember him adorable. how could you ever forget a face like his?

[1:22 pm] you: that’s so kind! i’m okay, i promise. i’ve just had to put up with those dorks for way too long, sometimes i just ignore them haha

[1:22 pm] shotaro: lol yeah they do seem like a handful! but i look forward to getting to know them better!!

[1:23 pm] shotaro: and u too ofc~~

it takes all your willpower not to spam dozens of heart emojis in an attempt to show shotaro just how he has reduced you to a lovesick fool. instead, your response is short and sweet.

[1:23 pm] you: right back at u, taro! ♡

+

“okay, take five,” donghyuck pants, pausing the music blaring from the speakers.

you gladly obey, wiping away the light sweat you had worked up from the latest routine you and hyuck were constructing.

you both belonged to the same dance class and frequently paired together for partnered projects. the rest of your friends attended different classes, which you constantly joked was for the best since there was no way one dance instructor could possibly handle the six of you together.

“how do you feel?” donghyuck asks you, running a hand through his tousled hair.

“the choreo’s great, i’m proud of what we got so far,” you reply. “of course, i would be happier if i didn’t have to get so up close and personal with you.”

donghyuck scoffs at your joke. “i can’t do anything about that. the teacher said the whole concept of the routine is supposed to be is intimate.”

you fake a gag, failing to contain a laugh when hyuck playfully shoves you in offense.

“i’m sorry i can’t be shotaro,” he adds, a smirk forming on his lips.

you roll your eyes. “oh, very funny.”

“c’mon, you’re acting like you wouldn’t kill to have him as your partner, especially with choreo as spicy as this.”

“well, it would beat being paired with you,” you remark, picking up your water bottle and taking a swig.

“hm, then looks like today might be your lucky day,” donghyuck replies, eyes trained somewhere behind you.

you follow his gaze, nearly choking on your water as soon as you catch sight of shotaro entering the studio. he meets your eyes, plucking out his earbuds and offering you a small wave.

“oh, hey guys!” he exclaims, cheerfully.

“hey ’taro,” you greet, rather quickly, earning you a knowing glance from your partner.

“’taro?” hyuck repeats, amused, as he folds his arms over his chest. “you guys are already on cute nickname basis?”

shotaro giggles, eyes squinting adorably as he does so. “it is a pretty adorable nickname, right? she’s the only one who calls me that!”

your heart beats faster when you see how oddly excited that seems to make him. did he somehow find it endearing?

“seems like the two of you are becoming quite close, hm?” continues hyuck.

shotaro nods enthusiastically before glancing at you tentatively, as if to check for confirmation.

“yeah, you could say that.”

your agreement causes yet another smile to grace shotaro’s lips — this time he seems relieved. you briefly wonder if the kid ever stops flashing those pearly whites of his. you certainly hope so, or else your heart may never catch a break.  

“well, since you’re comfortable enough with each other,” donghyuck begins, flashing you a grin.

you’re not even sure what he’s gonna say but you already feel the need to put an end to it. after all, nothing good has ever come of donghyuck’s mischievous grins. you subtly purse your lips and narrow your eyes in an attempt to get him to stop whatever chaos he’s planning to ensue.

nevertheless, he proceeds. “maybe you could help me out with this choreography?”

you want to facepalm at donghyuck’s lame excuse of a lie. however, on the other hand, shotaro’s face lights up in delight.

“you’re working on choreo? what for?” he inquires, curiously.

“for our dance class,” hyuck explains, motioning towards you. “i have a couple ideas so i was thinking you two could maybe try out some steps i’m planning to include. you know, to help me... visualize.”

“that sounds awesome,” shotaro responds, oblivious to your friend’s untruths. “i would love to help you guys out.”

“great!” donghyuck claps his hands together. “just a heads up, the theme of the routine is intimacy, so i wanna see all that charm of yours, shotaro. it’ll, uh, help me choreograph.”

you cringe at the obvious fib. meanwhile, it’s as if a switch has gone off in shotaro’s mind. his smile fades and his eyebrows knit together. “hold on, i-intimacy? does that mean—”

“that you’ll have to get a bit touchy-feely with her? yeah,” donghyuck interjects, innocently.

“y’know... i’ve really been wanting to dance with her.” he faces you, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “just never thought it would be like this.”

you offer him an apologetic smile. “i know, it might be a bit... uncomfortable. you can back out if you’d like. i promise hyuck and i won’t mind.”

shotaro’s head shakes, vigorously. “no, of course not!” he must realize how quick he was to deny your offer, making him suspiciously eager to be close to you as he immediately adds, “i mean, it’s good practice.”

you suppress a giggle. “sure thing. hyuck, should we get started now?”

the boy in question dramatically picks at his nails, acting as if he had been waiting on you both for hours. “if you guys are done flirting, then, yeah.”

you roll your eyes, shooting shotaro a mildly annoyed stare. he grins, finding it to be equally amusing as it is endearing. (what can he say, the faint pout that appeared on your face was cute.)

“shotaro, how about you get in position right behind her.”

shotaro obeys, making sure to leave a significant amount of space between the two of you. however, donghyuck doesn’t seem to approve.

“closer!” he commands. “the concept is intimacy, not social distancing!”

shotaro shuffles forward, pressing his front into your back. you can’t help but notice how firmly toned his chest is. curse his dancers body, you think.

“okay, now, lemme see your hands on her waist!”

you feel the breath of shotaro’s shaky exhale on the back of your neck as he obeys, sliding apprehensive hands around your midsection. there’s silence on donghyuck’s end and through the mirror you watch him observe the two of you, no doubt acting way more pensive than he truly is. you know he’s just prolonging your flustered state by keeping you in this intimate position with the younger boy.

although, shotaro himself might know it too, considering the fact that he begins to rub comforting circles into your sides that he’s currently gripping, as per donghyuck’s request, in an attempt to calm you down. you nearly melt right then and there. at the same time, you hope he doesn’t plan on stopping anytime soon.

donghyuck calls out your name, successfully startling you and putting an end to the peaceful atmosphere. “why don’t you go ahead and lean on his shoulder. just lay your head back nice and easy— good, very good! look at that chemistry!”

if you’re being sincere, reclining on shotaro feels way more natural and enjoyable than it should. he steadily holds you in place, almost as if he secretly wishes to never let go. you wouldn’t be completely opposed to the idea either.

“alright, last thing, guys! y/n, how about you hook your arm around shotaro’s neck?”

you do so, fingers brushing softly against his jaw. he shivers beneath your touch, erupting into giggles when you shoot him an odd stare.

“i’m ticklish,” he confesses, in a whisper.

you can’t help but smile widely. “is that so? hm, i might have to exploit that information sooner or later.”

“as long as donghyuck doesn’t find out,” he replies.

his comment certainly gets a chuckle out of you. “did you finally realize how evil he is?”

“if the torture he’s putting you through right now is anything to go by, then absolutely.”

“only a matter of time before it’s your turn,” you reply. you lean into his ear to add, “by the way, this is anything but torture for me.”

“hey! no whispering!” donghyuck reprimands.

for the first time, shotaro goes against the older boy’s orders to whisper back, “it’s mutual. if anything, i think this is the best thing i’ve done since i moved here.”

your heart melts at the sincere admission. you stare at shotaro in what you’re sure is a very obvious case of heart eyes. you’re taken aback to find that he, too, returns the lovesick look. perhaps he was immersing himself a bit too much in the intimacy concept...

“stop! pause! cut!”

you and shotaro (reluctantly) untangle yourselves from each other to face a seemingly unhappy donghyuck.

“can you guys please just focus on my instructions without falling in love with each other?” he pleads. “i mean, you haven’t even gotten out of the starting position yet.” he groans, exasperated. “actually, you know what, just take five.”

+

[2:03 pm] hyuck: good morning

[2:03 pm] nana: it’s 2 o clock in the afternoon but ok

[2:03 pm] hyuck: i just woke up, therefore it’s morning

[2:03 pm] shotaro: good morning :3 did u sleep well?

[2:04 pm] hyuck: i slept a wonderful 27 hours, thnx for asking!

[2:04 pm] yangx2: ?????? THERES NOT EVEN 27 HOURS IN A DAY IM SCREAMING

[2:04 pm] you: LOLLL WHY WAS HE HIBERNATING

[2:05 pm] renjun: i was just gonna ignore him but i am genuinely concerned now

[2:05 pm] shotaro: woww,, well at least you’re well rested now! :]

[2:04 pm] nana: shotaro, i am begging u not to encourage him

[2:04 pm] you: all it takes is one (1) supportive person and he becomes an unstoppable force of evil

[2:04 pm] shotaro: o_0

[2:05 pm] jeno: besides ur like the only other person here with common sense besides myself and maybe renjun. i can’t lose u to donghyuck :(

[2:05 pm] renjun: ykw i’m not even gonna argue with that

[2:05 pm] yangx2: yeah shotaro is a good guy™

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i hate u guys and ur goldfish attention spans

[2:06 pm] you: sigh what do you need hyuck?

[2:06 pm] hyuck: i want boba :(

[2:07 pm] you: that actually sounds really good but idk if it’s worth being around u

[2:07 pm] hyuck: i’ll pretend like u didn’t just say that <3 what if i paid?

[2:07 pm] you: ....

[2:08 pm] yangx2: LMAO HYUCK BEING NICE IS SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

[2:08 pm] renjun: ikr it’s making me super uncomfortable rn

[2:08 pm] hyuck: can’t i do something nice for my friends? :/

[2:08 pm] jeno: no

[2:09 pm] nana: nope

[2:09 pm] yangx2: nah

[2:09 pm] renjun: absolutely not

[2:09 pm] you: never seen it happen before so no

[2:10 pm] hyuck: u guys are so fake :( shotaro do u wanna hang out with me? if u say no i’ll scream :)

[2:11 pm] shotaro: yeah i guess i could :]

[2:11 pm] renjun: oh this just got interesting.. i guess i could tag along

[2:11 pm] yangx2: me too, i gotta be there to record whatever happens

[2:12 pm] nana: i’m in

[2:12 pm] jeno: same

[2:12 pm] you: hhhhh okay fine.. only to ensure taro’s safety

[2:13 pm] shotaro: (^з^)-︎♡

+

due to the fact that you believed donghyuck was going to try and officially initiate shotaro into your friend group with one of his infamous pranks, you decided to head to the boba shop. you hoped that if you showed up, you would be able to prevent whatever mayhem he had planned or at the very least, provide some damage control.

you pushed open the door to the quaint building, the bell dinging to announce your arrival. your eyes immediately lock onto the table in the far back since it was where you and your friends always sat — you had practically claimed it. you expect to see all the chairs filled but, to your surprise, only one person occupies the space.

osaki shotaro.

he beams, probably relieved to finally have some company in the otherwise empty shop. (after all, you weren’t sure how long he had been sitting there all alone.) nevertheless, you allow yourself to wonder — just for a second —  if maybe he was just that ecstatic to see you. the way he enthusiastically waves you over seems to be in favor of that theory. it’s almost confirmed when you reach he table and he pats the chair beside him.

you let out a soft laugh. “the whole table’s empty, ‘taro.”

“i know,” he admits. “i just really want you to sit next to me.”

you swear you could break down in tears simply from the way he’s looking at you; like you’re all he needs. it’s pure adoration.  you wonder if that’s how you look at him too. you can’t help but ask yourself if he, too, notices your longing stares.

you decide that you would be a monster if you denied shotaro his wish, so, you internally prepare yourself to sit next to possibly the sweetest boy you’ve ever known. yet, that proves to be difficult as said boy stands up to pull out your chair like the gentleman he is. you shoot him a grateful smile, mentally dethroning jeno as the most well-mannered person you know and passing the crown on to shotaro.

“so, how long have you been waiting for?” you ask, resting your elbow on the table and leaning into your palm to stare attentively at the boy to your right.

“actually, i only got here a couple minutes before you. we did agree to meet up here a quarter before three, right?” he asks, slightly confused.

you nod in confirmation. “honestly, i think we got set up.”

shotaro tilts his head. “really? why would they do that?”

“might have something to do with our ‘chemistry’,” you explain, quoting donghyuck.

the japanese boy’s mouth falls agape, as he comes to the realization. “oh, so they literally set us up.”

“mhm,” you agree, smiling ever so slightly.

shotaro must be paying closer attention than you thought because he picks up on your grin. “what’s with the smile?”

you shrug, feigning uncertainty. “i guess i just don’t feel so bad about being set up if it’s with a certain cutie i know.”

“oh?” he raises a brow, cheeks growing as he too mirrors your lovestruck look. “should i be worried about this guy?”

“certainly not,” you reassure him. “i’ve only got eyes for one.”

you see a faded tint of pink rush to his cheeks and you find it adorable how your confession flusters him. you can’t help but caress the supple skin as gently as possible. shotaro leans into your touch, his own hand coming up to cup your own, almost as if he were holding you in place. after a couple moments of basking in the intimate moment, you retract your hand.

“maybe we should try and get hyuck to include that in the choreo, huh?” you suggest, a teasing smile on your lips.

shotaro chuckles, “sounds good to me. i might even ask if i can fill his position, too. if not, i just might get jealous.”

you playfully shove him and he raises his hands in surrender. you chuckle, grabbing one of the menus that litter the table, planning to offer shotaro some help choosing an item from the list that is surely unfamiliar to him but it seems something outside the window behind you has caught his focus instead.

“looks like we have an audience.”

you take a deep breath at his words, preparing yourself for whatever it is you’re going to see upon turning around. when you finally do, all you manage to catch is five heads ducking beneath the windowsill, in a weak attempt to not get caught.

“of course,” you nearly laugh. “they’re so predictable.”

shotaro seems to find the situation humorous as well, if his amused tone is anything to go by. “to be honest, we should be thanking them. they got us together.”

“oh, so we’re together now?” you inquire, raising a brow.

“w-well, i mean, if you want to. i-i definitely want to.”

“no need for stuttering,” you reassure him, reaching over to stroke that one ticklish spot on his neck. “to quote a very wise — and handsome — young man, ‘it’s mutual.’”

he smiles at his own words being recited to him. “i don’t know about you, but i think we should seal the deal.”

“interesting. how do you suppose we do that?” you ask with faux curiosity. you certainly had some ideas of your own.

“maybe... a kiss?” shotaro leans forward, eyes closed expectantly as he taps his cheek. you resist the urge to pinch his lovely, round baby cheeks. he peeks one eye open to add, “for the audience, of course.”

you giggle, completely and utterly love-struck by the boy before you. in fact, you are so enamored by him that you decide to go the extra mile and press a sweet, chaste peck to his lips.

it seems as if he himself didn’t expect it as his eyes snap open, hand coming up to cup his lips in shock. when he finally uncovers his mouth, you see there’s a dazed, giddy grin on his face that let’s you know the smooch was very welcome pleasant surprise.

your phones simultaneously go off, alerting you of incoming messages. it’s a given that it’s none other than the group chat.

[3:15 pm] nana: that smooch was romcom worthy i’m so impressed right now

[3:15 pm] jeno: shotaro is living proof that being a gentleman has its perks! everyone in this gc should take notes!

[3:15 pm] yangx2: HERE IHAVE THE VDIEO OF THE WHOELE THIGN IF ANYOEN WANTS IT

[3:16 pm] yangx2: attachment: 1 video

[3:16 pm] yangx2: SORURY FOR THE TYPSO MY TEARS ARE BLURRIGN THE KYEBIOARD

[3:16 pm] renjun: can we get boba now?

[3:16 pm] renjun: oh wait my bad, congrats to the new couple :-)

[3:16 pm] renjun: to celebrate they should pay for everyone’s drinks.. just a thought

[3:17 pm] hyuck: ur welcome, y/n and shotaro ;)

[kaaytea]

hey! i hope youre doing great! if it isnt a problem, could you do atsumu, oikawa, sakusa and kuroo with a s/o who overthinks alot and notices that theyre hanging out with someone else alot recently and is scared that they're going to leave but they reassure reader that they won't leave? it'd be nice if it was fluffy :(((

Hi cutie! I'm doing well and I hope you are too! I apologize if Sakusa isn't very..Sakusa-y?? I'm still figuring him out a bit 😅 I tried my best to make it fluffy enough, I hope what I wrote will suffice

The Dangers of Overthinking

⤷Includes: Oikawa, Kuroo, Atsumu, Sakusa

-------------------------------------------

Oikawa

It's no secret that Oikawa is a pretty popular guy

And usually this doesn't bother you much, no matter how busy Oikawa was he always had little ways to reassure you he wasn't ignoring you

Gradually you started to notice him spending less time checking in on you throughout the day, the most you'd get is a pat on the head, a quick kiss, or a short text before Oiks slipped away with the rest of his team

You did your best to ignore the little voice in your head expressing that he was avoiding you. Oikawa was committed to his sport and that was fine, this behavior was normal

But the one thing you couldn't shake was whenever he went off with the team there was a person you didn't recognize in the group

You'd met his team HUNDREDS of times and by this point you knew everyone by name, number, and position from the hours you've sat with Tooru and watched game recordings. It was the middle of the season so they couldn't have suddenly got a new player

So who was this person? And why was your boyfriend always gravitating towards them?

Overthinking was dangerous for you, the longer you dwelled the further you fell into the dark doubts tucked into the back of your mind

This continued on for weeks until one day you just stayed in bed wrapped in blankets with only your thoughts

Setters are trained to notice small things, little details that could reveal a weakness in defense, anything that would help them decide who to set too

Oikawa was beautifully gifted in that aspect of a setter, it didn't take long to notice how distanced you'd become

Originally he thought it was a personal matter so he let you have your space, except unlike the other times you didn't bounce back. Infact, you were getting further from him the longer it went on

Oikawa quietly opened the door to your bedroom, letting his volleyball bag slip off his shoulder and placing it by the door

He sat down carefully on the side of your bed before he playful poked your side

"(y/n)-chaaan~"

You didn't respond and only pulled the sheets tighter around you causing a pout to form on his face

He gently pulled the sheets away from your head and pressed his hand to your forehead

"You don't have a fever so you're definitely not sick.....wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"You're not gonna leave me, right?"

Your voice was so quiet he just barely heard what you said

The hand on your forehead slipped down to your cheek, his thumb brushed softy across your cheek bone

"Why would I leave you?"

"You keep hanging around that person"

"Ah, be a little more specific sweetie"

"The blonde one! The blonde that's been hanging off you when you're with the team!"

You finally open up to him and what's he do? LAuGh! He's laughing at you!

Tears started to burn in your eyes as you quickly went to pull the covers over your head and flip onto your side facing away from him, only Oiks was a step ahead and pulled you into a sitting position facing him

"W-wait wait, Let me explain! (Y/n)-chan, that's our new manager. They've been helping me plan out drills for the team."

"Oh"

Well now you felt a bit silly

After a few seconds of silence you sighed and hid your face in Oikawa's shoulder. His arms wrapped around you body and he leaned back against your headboard

He spent the rest of the night holding you, whispering promises of never leaving you and how you're more important to him than anything else

Kuroo

Kuroo's friendly personality seemed to just attract people

I mean it was definitely something that hooked you so it was understandable why people tend to flock to him

It's just frustrating when he seems to have plans with people all the time, you barely see him these days

You didn't want to bring this to his attention in fear of being seen as clingy or controlling; Tetsu was your partner and had his own life, he wasn't a pet you could whistle for whenever you felt lonely

But you couldn't help but feel a bit....rejected

You were only about 5 minutes into lunch break and so far all you've done is lay your head on your desk and watched the rain fall outside

The gloomy day enhanced your depressed mood, your mind caught in the whirlpool of overthinking

Suddenly a little package was placed in front of you, followed by the sound of a chair being pulled up to your desk

You lifted your head from the desk only to find the very person that's been stuck in your mind sitting infront of you

"I got you melon bread from that bakery you like down the street, I would have given it to you earlier but you weren't here when I got to campus this morning."

"I missed my train..."

Kuroo snorted at your response and muttered something about you being cute before pulling out his lunch and beginning to eat

You opened the melon bread package, it looked delicious but your appetite seemed to have vanished

Kuroo watched you tear off a piece of the bread before placing the piece back on the wrappings with a sigh

Something was definitely wrong, you never turned down pastries from that bakery

"Not hungry?"

"Not really..."

"Did something else happen this morning? You're looking a bit...dejected"

You could never lie to Kuroo, and at this point you were so fed up with feeling alone that you didn't care about looking clingy, so you told him

He listened carefully to what you said and when you finished your rant he reached over the desk to hold your hands in his

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that. It won't happen again, I promise.....You've gotta tell me these things though, ok? I don't know what I'd do if I lost you."

You could tell he meant every word he said, if there was one thing you knew about Kuroo it was that he prided himself on staying true to his promises

You felt a weight off your shoulders the second he pressed a kiss to your hand

You even got your appetite back and devoured the melon bread he got you!

Atsumu

You'd of never expected Atsumu to spend time with someone outside of the volleyball team

Especially one of his fan girls of all people

All this interaction between the two started abruptly during lunch break. The girl had bounced up and pulled him away from your little group before anyone could get a word in, everyone just stared as the blonde was dragged down the hall

You were use to the fan girls, 'Tsumu never gave them the time of day so it was never a problem, but this just felt...off

Why was he suddenly paying attention to one of them? Was he bored of you? We're you just not enough to satisfy his ego?

You were torn from your thoughts by a gentle call of your name

You turned your attention from the clipboard in your lap to the direction of the voice meeting Kita's soft but steady eyes

"You seem less energetic than normal, have you eaten anything today?"

"Oh I'm fine Kita-senpai, you don't have to-"

You were cut off by him handing you a banana and a rant about how even their manager has to be in peak condition

You couldn't refuse Kita so you took the food with a smile and powered through the rest of practice

You left immediately after you finished cleaning the gym, ignoring the calls from Atsumu to wait up for him

You tried to walk fast so he wouldn't be able to catch up but the universe seemed to be against you as he easily jogged up to you minutes after you left

"Wassup with ya today? Kita-san said you were actin' weird."

"I'm surprised you noticed he said anything, your attention seems to be on other people."

Atsumu stepped infront of you, blocking you from walking further down the road

"Wass that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know Miya, why don't you ask your little fan girl"

You stepped around him attempting to run the rest of the way home but his hand grabbed your arm, spinning you back around to face him

Atsumu's hands held you in place to keep you from running away

"That's what this is about? That annoyin' scrub who won't leave me alone?"

"Annoying scrub?"

Atsumu went on explaining how he was partnered with her for a project in Japanese history and how even after they finished the project she wouldn't leave him alone (no matter how many times he told her to go away)

After he explained you felt a little better but you still felt insecurities scratching at your mind

You reached out for his hand and started walking again, keeping your eyes on the ground as you walked

"You didn't think I was cheatin' on ya.....right?"

"....."

".....I'd never leave ya for someone like that, yer the only one I've got my eyes on. Plus, yer the only person I've found that can tolerate me."

You laughed slightly at that, he wasn't completely wrong. Atsumu was a rather complex person but you found something enjoyable in that complexity

He let go of your hand and pulled you into his side, keeping his arm wrapped around your waist as you walked

Sakusa

Ok so maybe you were a bit jealous

Not much, but just a bit

You should have expected Sakusa would have admirers as the ace of Itachiyama (not to mention he was a very handsome guy)

But it still catches you off guard with how outwardly flirty your fellow manager was

Like they even know you're in a relationship with Kiyoomi and yet they continue to throw themselves at him

Being jealous over that was honestly very silly on your part because Sakusa has expressed their flirting makes him uncomfortable

So really there wasn't anything to worry about

Well...

That is until one day you overheard them telling Sakusa they enjoyed going out last night and that they should do it again

Which he responded with a "maybe"

If you were paying attention you would have noticed the flat tone to his voice and how his body language exuded 'Im very uncomfortable please go away'

But you being you, the second the manager opened their mouth your mind shut down and your blood went cold

They went out together last night?

You avoided everyone for the rest of practice, offering instead to clean practice jerseys and water bottles

Those were jobs usually done by two people but you needed to get away from everyone and you were hoping the jobs would take up the rest of practice

By the time you were nearly done with cleaning the water bottles, Sakusa had joined you at the outside fountain, mask pulled up on his face, his bag on one shoulder and yours on the other

"Do you want help?"

"You don't have to Omi.....it's my job anyways"

Despite your dismissal of his offer, he placed both your bags down and helped you clean the rest of the bottles, even going as far as carrying them back into the gym for you

You followed him over to the equipment room, you unlocked the door and took the box from his arms and put it on It's shelf

"You ready to go?"

"Almost, I have to throw the jerseys into the dryer. You can go on ahead without me."

"I'll wait, I want to avoid Komori. I don't feel like being dragged out with his friends again."

Dragged out with his friends? So it wasn't a secret date, Sakusa was forced to go by his cousin

Sakusa made his way by you to the gym's laundry room, Swifty tossing the practice jerseys into the dryer and then returning to your side

"You can stop worrying now, I know you overheard our conversation earlier. I would have much rather spent the night with you than them....they're too pushy for my liking."

He picked up your bags again and offered you his arm (something he much preferred over holding hands)

though he was usually a stoic person, you could just see the warmth his eyes held as he looked at you

You linked your arm with his, soaking up the heat from his body and the calm atmosphere that surrounded him

[rooksilver]

okay not to be a dramatic fuckin theater kid but

THE FINALE. THE FINALE. THE. FINALE.

FIRST, THE PERFECT “MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN” MOMENT AS THEY SURROUND JSCHLATT, DRUNKEN AND OLD, IN FULL NETHERITE ARMOUR. IT’S ALMOST LUDICROUS. AND THEY WATCH, ALMOST PITYINGLY, AS HE DIES, NOT IN BATTLE, NO GLORIOUS REVOLUTION FOR THEM, JUST AN OLD MAN WHO RAN OUT OF TIME.

THEN, PRESIDENT-ELECT TOMMY. IT’S AN OBVIOUS CHOICE. WHO ELSE? BUT HE SAYS NO. HE GIVES UP HIS POWER, AFTER EVERYTHING HE’S DONE TO EARN IT BACK. CHARACTER ARC MUCH?

And then. Wilbur gives up his position to tubbo. TUBBO. Nobody really expected it, but after he said it, was there really any other choice? Sure, he’s young and inexperienced but he’s amazing and will lead well. They’ve won. A little anticlimactic, and you can’t truthfully say you weren’t waiting for something to happen, but they were happy. He stood on the podium, free this time, and made a beautiful speech.

Then. Cherkov’s gun. It’s the realisation of wait, wilbur’s the traitor? Of wait, he’s gonna do it? And you kind of want him to but at the same time no, no, no, you’re so close and you have everything please don’t please don’t no no no no.

Then PHILZA JOINS. I. I literally. I cannot. WHEN WAS HE WHITELISTED?? WAS DREAM PLANNING THIS??? He must have been on at least once before because it only took him a minute to get to where wilbur was so he clearly didn’t start at spawn. The dadza scene of “mhm. You’re in l’manburg, are you?”

(And in the chat you see techno killing tubbo and the fighting begin, but you think maybe theyre just messing around, you dont fully know that he’s betrayed too until you switch pov)

And then he blows it up! Boom! Gone! And he says, “kill me, phil. Look, they all want you to.”

And phil screams, “YOU’RE MY SON! No matter what you do, I can’t do it.” Tearing my shriveled heart to pieces in the process.

But he does do it. He kills him. Because he has to. And you can hear his frustration. “you just couldn’t let yourself win, could you? You just had to throw your toys out of the pram.”

Meanwhile, the rest are watching the explosion. You hear dream yell “YES!” as it detonates. His plan has fallen perfectly into place, he’s gotten what he wanted. He won. The others watch phil murder wilbur and scream in confusion. Dream tells tommy wilbur was the traitor and he says “what?” And then changes the subject as if he can stop it from being true by ignoring it.

And then, techno. TECHNO. oh my GOD, he was so good. After killing tubbo with a crossbow firework after his speech (for the second time, may i add) he does his villain monologue and oh my god its AMAZING. The theseus comparison? “nothing good happens to heroes”? Perfect. And “you want to be a hero, tommy? Then die like one.” THIS MAN WAS AN ENGLISH LIT MAJOR AND WE BETTER NOT FORGET IT

i kind of had to go after that but from what i gather from tumblr, phil was unable to be angry and techno. Instead, he sort of joined him and started helping him with supplies and i get why people wouldnt want him to but honestly give the man a break. He’s already lost two sons today.

Anyway sorry for the rant but the dream smp finale owns my heart and i spent half an hour writing this bye

[earliebirb]

nosedive

steve/tony, fluff, (newly) established relationship, 3250 words

Tony stares absentmindedly out the airplane window as he puts his phone up to his ear, watching people run back and forth, performing last-minute engine checks. Some of the guys look sweaty and out of breath.

From the comfort of the air-conditioned Stark Industries private jet, he feels a slight twinge of sympathy for the people having to suffer in the humid summer heat.

He loosens his tie and sinks deeply into his seat, closing his eyes with a massive yawn as he listens to the ringing tone. He hadn’t been able to sleep very well throughout his five-day stay in Tokyo, too anxious about the contract to rest properly. 

The ringing tone goes on for a few more seconds before ending with a click, replaced by an achingly familiar voice greeting him in his ear. 

“Hello?” 

Tony’s eyes spring open. Outside, an aircraft marshaller walks by, speaking rapidly into his walkie-talkie.

“I had a blueberry muffin for lunch today. One single blueberry muffin.”

“...What?”

“It didn’t even taste that good. I couldn’t finish it. Too dry.”

“Tony, that’s not good. Is that all you had for lunch? You should really eat—”

“The meeting went well, by the way. Mr. Watanabe finally signed the contract, everything went as planned. My ride to the airport, however…”

“I told you things would go smoothly, you had nothing to worry about. You’re a brilliant negotiator—”

“The traffic? Fuck. I had to keep shifting in my seat to avoid pins and needles.”

“That sounds awful, are your legs okay—”

“Did you know that Tokyo is number nineteen on the list of cities with the worst traffic congestion in the world? I know that, because I looked it up on the way to the airport. But boy, did it feel like it deserved the number one spot. I think I lost feeling in my ass.”

“I did not know that. And, uh, is your ass okay—”

“Thank God for my private jet. These plush seats are the best things I’ve ever spent my money on.”

“That’s objectively not true, and you know it—”

“Then again, I think these seats in particular were Pepper’s choice? We remodeled the airplane’s interior like… two years ago. I couldn’t be bothered to meet with the airplane seat people and I just told her to pick whichever looked best. I had much more important things to tend to, like sewing up the holes in JARVIS’s Christmas stocking.”

“I am concerned about how you sort your list of priorities—”

“Hm, that’s right. I think it was around two, three weeks before Christmas and I didn’t want JARVIS to be upset about the whole stocking thing, you know?”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t have—”

“Also, you’re right, the single blueberry muffin was a bad idea because now my stomach won’t shut up. So I’ve ordered some pasta for my in-flight meal. Robbie’s making it, you’ve met Robbie—”

“I’ve met Robbie, yes, he’s—”

“Larry’s replacement after he resigned. Gotta say, I was sad to see Larry go. Guy worked for me for seven years. But then there was that thing with his grandma, and he had to leave, so… But! Robbie makes a mean carbonara, maybe even better than Larry, don’t tell Larry I said that—”

“I don’t even know Larry like that, how would I—”

“Mr. Stark, we’re ready to go.” The pilot—Paul—emerges from the cockpit, staring at him in anticipation.

Tony nods and makes a few rapid gestures with his free hand that he supposes Paul is only able to interpret perfectly after years and years of working for Tony. The gestures roughly translate to something like “Copy, I hear you, just let me wrap this up and then I’ll let you know when I’m done. Capiche?”

Paul—bless him—just gives him a curt nod and retreats back into the cockpit. 

“Anyway,” Tony takes a deep breath and puffs his cheeks out with the exertion of his exhale, “I called because… I got a feeling, Steve.”

“A… feeling?”

“Just— A gut feeling. A feeling in your gut. Inside of me. Like a hunch?”

“Okay,” Steve says patiently, his voice low and warm, “what are you feeling?”

“I… got a bad feeling. Today. A few hours ago. The feeling came to me when I was sitting in traffic, and I just— I feel like something bad’s gonna happen today, Steve. I can feel it in the air. In my heart. In my gut. In my joints.”

“Your joints? Like… the feeling old people get when it’s about to rain?”

“Okay, maybe not in my joints. Also, are you calling me old, grandpa?”

“I did not, you told me you felt something in your—”

“Anyway, so yeah. Where was I? Oh, right. Feeling. Bad feeling. Like, like, I don’t know, something bad’s gonna happen. Like an accident. Like a plane crash.”

“God, please don’t say that. You’re scaring me, Tony.”

“And I guess, I just called because I… I feel like I need to do this before the plane crashes and I die a violent and fiery death.”

“Nothing bad’s going to happen, Tony—”

“Like, if I didn’t do this today, maybe I’d never get to do it, you know? And, uh, okay, I’ve honestly been ranting to stall for time, but the longer I keep it in the more nauseous I feel, so maybe I’m just gonna do it now so I can die in peace—”

“Do what? And stop saying that—”

“Look, I’m trying to be brave and honest here and— Wait, actually? Maybe I’m being a coward because if the plane actually does go down, I won’t have to face the consequences of my actions, so I guess I’m just going to say fuck it, and say that I love you.”

“The plane is not going to— Wait, what?”

“I, uh. Love you. I’ve known it for a while now. And, uh, I know we’ve only been dating for like, a week, but—” Tony blinks. They’ve only been dating for a week. 

“...Fuck.” Tony can feel his own pulse starting to race. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“Tony?”

They’ve only been dating for a week. What is he doing? What the hell is wrong with him? Normal people don’t do this. 

“Fuck. Shit, I mean— Uh, I’m sorry. That was super weird, huh?” Tony laughs nervously. He closes his eyes, gritting his teeth and cursing his stupid brain. Of course it’s weird. He always gets too attached to people way too quickly. No wonder Pepper was his only long term relationship. She was the only person who could put up with him—everyone else just got weirded out. “Uh, see you tomorrow? Or not. Fuck, sorry, I’m just gonna hang up before this gets—”

“Tony, wait.”

“...Yeah?” Tony says, hyper-aware of how breathless he sounds. His heartbeat is ringing in his ears. Everything is going to be fine. Right? Right. The worst thing Steve could do is… break up with him.

Oh, God, that is the worst case scenario. He really should’ve just kept his stupid mouth shut. 

“Tony, are you freaking out? I feel like I can hear you freaking out from all the way over here.”

“No, I’m not, of course I’m not. Who says I’m freaking out? You have no proof. I am calm, I’m calm as a clam, is that the saying? Did I get it right? Or was it happy— Anyway, I am absolutely calm, I’m the calmest I could possibly be. Any calmer and I’d be asleep. I’m—”

“Tony. Breathe.”

Tony forces himself to drag in a slow breath as he grips the arm of his seat with his free hand, focusing on the soothing hum of the airplane’s engine.

“Look, Tony, I—”

“No, listen. I’m sorry I jumped the gun, I hope I haven’t weirded you out or anything. You really, really don’t have to say it back to me. I mean it.”

“Tony—”

“No, in fact— Please don’t say anything. It’s fine. Let’s just pretend this never happened, okay?”

“But—”

“Drop it, Steve. Please?” Tony pleads. Clearly, his brain hadn’t been firing on all cylinders. That is the only reason that could explain his temporary lapse of judgment. “Look, I feel like talking about it more right now is going to send me spiraling into a panic attack.”

“...Okay. Fine.”

“Thank you. Uh, I’ll see you when I get home. If I get home. If the plane doesn’t crash. Haha.”

“Would you please stop saying that? It’s not funny.”

Tony latches onto the change in topic like a lifeline. “It is objectively true, you know. In order for me to be able to see you tomorrow, the plane has to land safely, and unfortunately, some things are just beyond my control. Like, who’s to say the plane won’t explode mid-air and—”

“The plane is going to land safely and you’re going to come back home to me in one piece. This is non-negotiable, Tony. You hear me?” Steve demands, his voice all hard authority and no-nonsense, like there will be Consequences should Tony fail to comply. 

As if he could ensure Tony’s safety with the force of his willpower alone. 

Come back home to me. 

That sounds good. Really good. Tony closes his eyes and pictures Steve’s baby blues in his mind’s eye. Warmth flowers in his chest.

“I hear you.”

“Great.”

“Awesome. I, uh, I gotta go now.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“See you.”

Tony hangs up and lets Paul know that he is done with his phone call. The jittery feeling left over from his call with Steve refuses to leave him, however, so he pulls up the drawing application on his phone and begins sketching something just to give his brain something else to fixate on.

He tends to lose track of time when he is hyperfocused on a project, so he isn’t exactly surprised that the next time he becomes aware of his surroundings, the plane is already well up in the air, his sketch of what looks like a flying coffee pot is almost finished, and Robbie is placing a plate of spaghetti carbonara on the table in front of him. 

“Spaghetti carbonara. With extra cheese.”

Tony’s mouth waters as he eyes the mountain of grated Pecorino Romano sitting atop the pasta. He sighs dreamily and smiles up at Robbie.

“You’re a lifesaver.”

“Enjoy, Boss.” Robbie grins and slips back into the kitchen.

He only realizes just how truly famished he is after taking his first bite, and proceeds to finish the rest of his meal with gusto. Afterward, he spends the majority of the remaining flight time sleeping, the result of post-carbonara food coma and his sleep-deprivation finally catching up to him. 

It’s well past two in the morning when Tony finally makes it to his floor in the Tower, which is why he is surprised to see Steve sitting on his couch, one of Tony’s fantasy novels open in hand. 

“Steve, what are you doing here?”

Steve’s head snaps up at the sound of his voice. Tony frowns. “Actually, why are you awake at all?” He is usually an early sleeper, unless—

“Nightmare?” Tony gives him a sympathetic smile. It wouldn’t be the first time. In the early days of their friendship, Tony and Steve would sit together in the living room whenever they had trouble sleeping, talking to each other until the sun came up.

Steve shakes his head, closing the book with his eyes still trained on Tony. “No, I was just… waiting for you.” Tony blinks. 

“It’s…” Tony glances at his watch. “Half past two. In the morning.”

“I know, I just…” Steve stands up, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. He ambles over before coming to a stop right in front of Tony. “I wanted to see you.”

Tony stares at him uncomprehendingly. “You’ll see me later anyway.”

“I couldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t want to go to sleep without seeing you first,” Steve says, low and earnest. His gaze wanders around Tony’s face, as if he were cataloguing each and every facial feature and trying to locate any changes he might’ve missed during his absence.

“Oh.”

Steve steps closer, arms snaking around Tony’s waist and pulling him close. His next words are whispered against Tony’s shoulder.

“I knew you’d make it home safely.”

“Uh, yeah.”

“You were wrong.”

“I was… wrong.” Tony swallows. “Uh, turns out the bad feeling completely disappeared after I woke up from my nap on the plane, so I suspect that perhaps the bad feeling I got was due to my severe hunger and sleep deprivation. I mean, I’ve heard about hallucinations caused by hunger or exhaustion, but this was—” 

Steve presses a soft kiss to the column of Tony’s neck, effectively cutting off Tony’s ramblings.

“Tony,” Steve whispers against his skin.

“Yeah?” Tony squeaks.

“Please don’t call me before a flight and say that you think the plane is going to crash, ever again.”

“Right. Noted. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Steve says, pulling away slightly and loosening his hold around Tony.

Tony allows himself to relax, letting out a quiet sigh. This thing with Steve is so new and delicate that every single physical contact still sends his heart fluttering, butterflies going crazy in his stomach.

Which makes, in retrospect, his abrupt love confession—as truthful as it was—that much more insane. God, Stark. Never do that again.

Except, it turns out that Steve only pulled away to slide his hands down the back of Tony’s thighs, wrapping his hands around them, and then lifting him up without warning.

Tony yelps, and in his alarm, promptly locks his ankles around Steve’s waist. When Steve begins moving, Tony quickly wraps his arms around Steve, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder.

“Uh, Steve?”

“Hm?” Steve says, calm and nonchalant, as he begins walking away from the elevator. 

“Um— Wait— My suitcase—”

“Leave it. It’ll still be there in the morning.”

Tony blinks, staring dumbfoundedly at his lonely suitcase, abandoned by the elevator. It becomes smaller and smaller with every step Steve takes. 

“Where are we going?”

“Your bedroom.”

“Why are you carrying me there?”

“Because I want to.”

“You know it’ll be faster if you just let me walk, right?”

“Maybe. But you won’t be in my arms.”

“Um.”

“Bear with me, will you? I missed you.”

“I, uh, missed you too.”

Steve hums, satisfied. Tony lets himself settle more comfortably in Steve’s arms.

When Steve has successfully carried him to his bedroom, Tony fully expects Steve to deposit him on the bed. 

That is not, in fact, what happens. 

Instead, Steve turns around and begins walking backwards towards the bed before sitting down on it. Tony, still seated on his lap, swallows and pulls back slightly to look at Steve. 

“Look, Steve, as much as I’ve missed you, I’m kind of tired right now. I mean, don’t get me wrong. This whole carrying thing? Great. Very romantic. Ten out of ten. But I’m just not in the mood for sex, you know? Like, I’m not even sure I would be able to get it up if—”

“We’re not going to have sex.”

Tony blinks.

“We’re not?”

“We’re not. I’m just here to tuck you in.”

“Oh.”

Steve reaches up and begins undoing his tie. After setting it aside on the bed, he begins to unbutton Tony’s shirt. He takes his time, one button at a time.

“So…” Steve begins with a deep breath as he unbuttons the final button. “Did you mean, uh, what you said to me? On the phone?”

Tony closes his eyes, feels his own cheeks heating up. “Steve—”

“I’m sorry, Tony, I know you told me to drop it. But— I feel like if you did mean what you said, I owe it to you to… set the records straight.” When Tony opens his eyes again, Steve is looking up at him, blue eyes solemn.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… We have only been together for a week. Well, eight days. In fact, we’ve only been on one date. And it was interrupted. By giant lizards.” Steve chuckles incredulously. 

Tony remembers that day very well. They were in the middle of dessert at Tony’s favorite Italian place when they received the call to assemble—something about giant lizards wreaking havoc in Central Park.

The lizards had green, gunky blood that got into the nooks and crannies of the suit. It had taken forever to clean.

“But Tony…” Steve gathers the material of Tony’s unbuttoned shirt in both of his fists, pulling him closer until their noses are only inches apart.

The second their eyes meet, Steve smiles the sweet, lopsided smile that never fails to make Tony’s stomach flip.

“I need you to know that… I didn’t have to date you to know that I loved you. I figured that a long time ago.”

Tony stills, breath frozen in his lungs.

“I guess, what I’m saying is… I love you too. I’ve loved you for a very long time, Tony. Even way before—” Steve breaks eye contact, looks down as he clears his throat. When he speaks again, his voice is tight. “Way before we got together. I’m talking… years before.”

Tony still finds it hard to breathe. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, the word more breath than sound. He meets Tony’s dazed gaze. “So you don’t have to worry about… jumping the gun. Not with me. I’m in it for the long haul.”

“...Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels a lightness growing inside of him, spreading outwards to his extremities.

“Good.” Steve smiles, warm and impossibly fond.

“...Glad we’re on the same page.” Tony’s gaze drops down to Steve’s lips.

“We are.” Steve inches closer, nose brushing Tony’s. He then tilts his head ever so slightly and takes Tony’s lower lip between his, kissing him so tenderly Tony’s heart feels like it’s about to burst with it.

Steve’s warm hands slide up Tony’s naked back under his open shirt, sending goosebumps breaking across his skin. Tony buries his hands in Steve’s hair and relishes the feeling of the soft strands caught between his fingers. They stay caught up in each other for a few moments, capturing and releasing each other’s lips until the need for breath becomes too unbearable.

They break apart eventually, accompanied by soft chuckles. Steve smiles up at him, lips slick and cherry red, courtesy of Tony. He reaches up to caress Tony’s right eyebrow with the pad of his thumb, fleeting and affectionate.

“Get some rest, okay? You must be really tired. I should probably go to bed, too.”

Tony looks down at his lap, clearing his throat. “Uh, I know that we haven’t done this before, but…”

Steve waits patiently for Tony to gather his thoughts, hands stroking up and down Tony’s sides.

“Do you want to stay with me tonight?” Tony finds the courage to meet Steve’s eyes, holding his breath.

Steve’s blue eyes are gazing at him intently, looking at him like he’s the only person in the world worth his sole, undivided attention.

Tony swallows. “No sex. Just to sleep. If you—”

“Yes.”

“Yeah?”

“I would like that very much.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Good.” Tony feels his own lips slowly curve up into a smile, wide and unbridled. 

“Good.” Steve nods, lips twitching, his eyes never leaving Tony’s. 

Tony grins, feeling near giddy with delight. “Glad we’re on the same page.”

“We are, sweetheart.” Steve looks up at him, blue eyes fond and smile radiant. “We definitely are.”

[homieswithhades]

why steve rogers returning to the past was wrong

disclaimer: im clearly a stucky enthusiast, but please, do not be thrown off by that. i admit, there may be undertones of bias because of that in the following, but i did my best with trying to lay out the facts and draw logical conclusions, so do please give me a chance. also, i may have accidentaly omitted some moments and some quotes may not be 100% word for word, as my memory lowkey sucks. ALSO this is NOT a peggy hate post!! i think shes a dope and underrated character and quite frankly she was done dirty. but i also definitely h8 the trope of badass woman falls for the hero.

first and foremost, every sane person knows endgame was complete and utter bullshit when dealing with steves character, so this post will be more for you to maybe show (and hopefully convince) some stubborn friend or family member. nice, concise (not) and including proof from the movies (+a few tweets and stucky undertones, if u dont fw that i respect it but bucky is an integral part to steves character regardless of how u interpret their relationship) here is why steves character development was thrown away at the end of endgame.

let us begin at looking at the cap trilogy.

in ca:tfa it should be noted that steve had no one to return to in the 40s, except bucky. i believe steves relationship with peggy was no where near as developed as it should have been to elicit him returning exclusively for her. as we are aware, steves driving force has absolutely always been bucky. bucky was there for steve after his parents died, when he was sick, and always protected him from whatever trouble he got himself into. "until the end of the line" right? steves relationship with peggy was forced and short lived, literally, we're talking a matter of months here. i need to keep emphasising the important disparity between bucky and peggy, as it is absolutely key in this whole argument. steve dropped everything and went against every order just to even attempt to save bucky. even the slightest chance of him surviving being captured was enough for steve to break into a hydra camp and free the 107th division. steve even had the chance to capture zola, one of the main villains and masterminds of the war, but again, steve prioritised bucky. when theyre trying to escape the exploding hydra camp, the exchange between steve and bucky is critical. steve says "go! get out of here!" as all he wanted was bucky escaping safely. he put bucky's life over his own (this wasnt the first time he did this, nor the last) but bucky rooted himself to the spot, and yelled back "no, not without you!". they both escaped safely as we know, and then steve gathers the howling commandos to take down the red skull. bucky then falls off the train, nd steve blames himself for his death, even visibly crying over it twice. steves morals went from "i dont wanna kill anyone. i dont like bullies, i dont care where theyre from" before buckys death, to "i wont stop until all of hydra are dead or captured" after. stuff happens and steve defeats the red skull and is now in control of the flying ship with the bombs. he connects the comms with peggy and she tries to convince him theres another way to disarm the ship. steve was so dedicated at that point he didnt even want to hear it. he didnt even attempt to do anything to ensure his survival. this alone proves, peggy was not important enough to him to return to.

next is ca:tws. The stevebucky movie. in the museum, peggy confirms that steve saved the man from the 107th division who eventually became her husband (steve was never in the 107th, just to clarify) i believe her husbands name was daniel sousa (as revealed in the marvels agents of shield show) steve then finds out peggy is alive and talks to her. she, in short, tells him she's lived her life, and it was his turn to live his in the time hes in. the "my best girl" line was unnecessary and out of place; again, steve barely knew her. again, shit goes down, and steve finds out the winter soldier is bucky and immediately drops everything, and becomes dead set on saving him. not killing, not imprisoning, but saving him. no matter the cost. "he saw me, and he didnt even know me" "hes not the kind you save, hes the kind you stop. he won't recognise you" "he will." god, steve KNEW bucky would recognise him. regardless of the brainwashing, steve managed to break through the barrier hydra fought so hard to drill into buckys mind. nothing ever broke him out of that state exept for steve. "im not gonna fight you, youre my friend." "youre my mission" "then finish it. cos im with you till the end of the line." [[good fucking lord let me break out of my essay-esque semi professional format here and just say how fucking heartbreaking those lines are. oh my god. read them, over and over until it hits you.]] steve shows us again, that he is willing to not only die for bucky, but literally die by his hand. he would let bucky kill him. he'd dropped his shield. he didnt fight back. steve always, always, ALWAYS got up and fought back. always. exept that time. the time bucky could have killed him. that scene is the essence of "im with you till the end of the line" because then, it was true. it was true because steve was okay with dying at buckys mercy. theres a difference between sacrificing yourself for the greater good (steve going into the ice), willing to die for someone (steve risking his life multiple times in attempts to save bucky) and finally, being willing to let someone kill you, because you love and trust them so much (hellicarier scene). the difference between peggy and bucky's relationship to steve is that steve may be willing to die for either, but only willing to be killed by one. not to mention, bucky pulled steve from the river. he recognised him. steve broke through 70 years of brainwashing with such impact it literally drove bucky away from hydra out of his own free will.

in between ca:tws and ca:cw its confirmed (im p sure sam says it) that him and steve looked for bucky for two. years. even off screen, bucky was steves priority.

im going to squeeze in 2 points from from age of ultron here, for chronology's sake:

steves worst nightmare, as portayed in the movie, is LITERALLY going back to the 40s and being stuck there (with peggy too??lmfao) and also the quote "family, stability, the man who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think another one came out." objectively confirms that steve isn't the man he used to be, and doesnt want to return to the past. aou may have sucked, but that doesn't mean the character development should be thrown away.

ca:cw. hoo boy. steve went against 117 countries and half of his closest friends and colleagues because he believed bucky was innocent of the bombing of the un conference. god, steve quite literally, did everything to defend and protect bucky. though i shall acknowledge that steve did attend peggy's funeral, however, there was no real connotations there other than the fact he was mourning her death (understabdibly so). steve then proceeds to protect bucky for 2 hours 27 mins and 41 seconds to the point where they escape together to siberia after the airport fight. "i dont know if im worth all this steve" "what you did all those years... it wasnt you. you didnt have a choice." "i know. but i did it" again, absolutely heartbreaking quotes if you read it a couple of times and truly understand the meaning of them. steve somewhat indirectly tells bucky yes, yes he is worth all of this. otherwise, he wouldn't be doing it. a quote to support that would be "for the longest time, i always did what i thought was right." (disclaimer this is not a direct quote i deadass couldnt find it to save my life, i belive steve said it at some point during civil war or tws, but the point is, bucky is the only thing that could have shaken steves morals so intensely.) and finally, the most important part of cw, the fight at the end with tony. bucky and steve constantly protected each other. steve kept fighting because he was fighting for bucky. to keep him safe from tony and the world. he got up, time and time again. "i can do this all day." the fact that he said that to tony, some people consider them the closest of friends, proves again, a million times over, bucky is more important to steve than literally anything else, INCLUDING his shield. his mantle. he dropped it and left it like it was nothing, because his priority was bucky. as always.

theres not much to discuss for infinity war other than their hug whicg was honestly just adorable.

mmmmm endgame. i will not go into how much i hate that movie because it would be a rant quintuple the length of this one. in the support group, steve dead ass fucking says "you gotta move on. you gotta move on" and that sentiment was literally forgotten at the end. my main point for endgame is this. people tend to tell me, the reason steve abandoned bucky and went back to be with peggy is because he knew that he was finally safe. :/. if you had half a braincell youd know that's not true. the steve we know, never would have left bucky for good, ESPECIALLY after the "dont do anything stupid until i get back" exchange [[god i want to beat the shit out of the r*ssos]] mostly because, bucky had fucking no one in the time he was living in!!! no family, no friends and most heartbreakingly, no one he could trust. (yes sam was there but were just seeing their friendship develop now in tfatws, all that wasnt there in endgame) and secondly, what made steve think bucky was entirely safe??? half of the worlds population just suddenly reappeared, which as we see now, there were massive consequences for that. i simply believe steve is not that stupid. steve going back was disrespectful not only to his character, but to bucky AND peggy. most importantly, the steve we've been watching since 2011 would NEVER abandon bucky, no matter how safe he thought he was (he visited him frequently in wakanda, the safest place on the planet arguably ffs) especially for such a dumbass and quite frankly, nonsensical reason as going back to be with peggy, who clearly stated to him she moved on, and so should he (which he did. idk endgame writers prolly didnt watch the previous movies :/) its not even debatable. bucky is more important to steve than peggy. even in terms of screentime.

now allow some tweets to speak for me, this one being the absolute most important one:

ladies and gentlefolk, all of the stuff ive said can be summarised in that last line. "it would be contrary to who he is."

heres some more:

and now finally, id like to briefly mention steve and tfatws, so beware of spoilers (writing this as of ep 4 coming out; praying it doesn't age badly)

bucky mentions steve, unprompted, fucking constantly. he clearly isnt over steve leaving, and im hoping that gets acknowledged and talked out in the show.

in conclusion, tl:dr, steve shouldn't have returned to the past and stayed there, it is contrary to who he is, as shown to us through his trilogy and other appearances in the mcu. not to mention the timeline bullshit in endgame makes zero sense in the first place.

[wonder-kid-pugh]

Homesick - (Christen Press x reader)

Hey guys!!! Honestly heard this song and loved it so much and thought it would be good for an imagine. Halfway through writing it I thought it would have been better with an army service person but honestly was too tired to change it all. But I hope you enjoy!!!

You look so peaceful in our bed

I didn't wanna wake you when I left

To catch my plane

And I'll be trailing through the sky

Just another silhouette up high

Before you wake

I groan quietly as the alarm on my Fitbit buzzes awaking me from my peaceful night. I lay there for another minute before deciding I unfortunately have to get up. Ever so slowly I gently slip out from Christen's grasp and quietly get out of the bed.

I start to move around the room getting ready. The benefit of having everything packed the day before means I wasn't in a rush to pack and I all I had to do was get changed. As I check my watch I see I need to be leaving soon to make my flight. But as I look over at Christen who is still sleeping peacefully in the bed I smile softly at the sight.

She looked so serene and peaceful. She looked so relaxed as her chest rises and falls in slow rhythmic breaths. I frown knowing how hard she's been working lately on Re Inc alongside training and everything else that needs to be done. I sigh and bite the inside of my cheek. We had a traditional, sort of like an unspoken rule. Whenever one of us had to leave for somewhere we would always wake the other up to say goodbye. Sadly it was usually me doing the waking up having to travel a lot for work.

But knowing how stressed she been recently about Re Inc's new capsule launch and the upcoming Olympics, I didn't have the heart to wake her up.

Instead I settle for a gentle kiss on her forehead. I freeze as she stirs in her sleep as she shuffles around in the bed before burying her head into my pillow. With one last smile I creep out of the room leaving her a small note on the counter before leaving for the airport.

Knowing by the time she wakes up I'll be high in the sky.

You tell me that you had that dream again

When I didn't have to go

I wish that we could live inside your head

I had barely stepped into my hotel room when my phone rings. I drop my bags before fishing around in my pockets to find my phone. But I smile as I see the name pop up on my screen, "Morning Chris".

"You didn't wake me this morning..." I didn't even need to see her to know that she was pouting on the other end. I bite my lip, "I know but I know how hard you've been working and you just looked so beautiful and peaceful. I just couldn't do it". She giggles, "Maybe it's because of the dream I was having".

I flop back into the bed settling back into the mattress, "What were you dreaming about?" "You woke me up and told me that your gig was cancelled and you didn't have to leave". I chuckle and run my hand through my hair, "I like the sound of that. I wish we could live inside you head".

And I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.

To call before you go to bed

And tell you 'bout the day I've planned

And listen to the one you had

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

I grin, "I'm sorry I didn't wake you up. But I have a surprise that will make you happy". She hums, "Oh yeah? What is it?" "Go look in the wardrobe" I tell her. I can hear her shuffling on her end as she no doubt goes to the wardrobe. Then I hear her coo over the phone, "Awe Y/n..." I smile, "I know it sucks being away from each other a lot of the time especially with conflicting schedules and stuff. But I hope this will help remind you I'm always here for you".

She giggles, "It's smells like you and a small bit of popcorn". I had left her one of my oversized sweater which she always loved to steal off me. She had spent many nights curled up in my sweater on the sofa for our movie nights. It was one of my favourites but I could never be mad at her for taking it. She just looked so adorable all swallowed up in the massive hoodie.

"This way" I tell her, "whenever you start to miss me. You can just put this on and think of the two of us cuddled up on the couch". She lets out a content sigh, "I love you". I smile, "I love you too".

Your friends, they ask you all the time

Why'd you wanna wait another night

When I'm not home?

And nothing seems to settle down

Just another day, another town

And we're alone

As much as I love my job it did suck at times. Being a photographer for hire was brilliant as I got to do what I loved and got to travel all over the world meeting amazing people. The problem with being in such high demand means I'm traveling a little too much at times.

It also meant that I was purely reliant on reputation alone. Thankfully I had spent years building it up. It didn't hurt that I was very versatile doing just about everything from travel pictures to modelling shoots. But in building up a reputation it meant that I couldn't turn down bookings.

And it seems that I always had the worst timing with luck. It seems that just as I finish up a job I get booked for another one. Postponing my return home. Things just never seems to settle down. Meaning spending even longer away from Christen. Or just when I come home she's leaving for camp or matches. I would be hopping town to town. The two of us alone.

But not really

But I can never let this go to waste

The further that I go

The more I seem to love you every day

But no matter how far away we are from each other. No matter the distance I travel it could never diminish how much I love Christen. It's as if the further I travel the more my love grows for her. I guess what they say is true.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

And I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

And I'm waking up at 6:00 a.m.

To call before you go to bed

And tell you 'bout the day I've planned

And listen to the one you had

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you

When I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

After touching down in New York and hailing down a taxi I slump back in the seat as they drive me to the hotel for the night. But the first thing I do is check the time difference. It just became apart of my routine everytime I went somewhere for work. I would always check the time difference between where I am with wherever Christen is.

I had made it a priority to always call Christen before she goes to bed no matter what unless it was organised before hand for some reason.

Of course I never told Christen this. Purely cause in doing so it means that I would have to be awake at insane hours in order to call her. Of course it was a pain but everything was worth it to hear about Christen's day.

As I get to the hotel I immediately slide into the bed not even bothering to change and instead just dropping my bags and getting comfortable underneath the warn blankets. Knowing I only have a few hour before needing to wake up to call Christen.

I groan lightly when I hear the alarm on my phone go off. I sit up in my bed with a yawn before taking my phone off the charge and dialling Christen's number. I rub the sleep from my eyes as it rings. But it doesn't take long as it only has the chance to ring twice before I hear my beautiful girlfriend's voice on the other end, "Hey Y/n!"

I smile tiredly, "Hey Love". "You okay? You sound tired. Early start?" I chuckle quietly she has no idea. "Eh it's okay I just woke up is all". I stifle a yawn, "But don't worry about that how was your day?"

I can't help but smile as she begins her long rant about her day. Starting off with the usual with her morning yoga and meditation and everything. Then tells me about Kelley acting like a crack head at training and work for Re Inc. "Mal was asking for you as well today" she tells me making me smile. "Awe" coo, "tell the little nugget I miss her too".

"Do you have much planned for the day?" She asks. I shrug although I know she can't see me, "Well other than the shoot I have today I don't really know. Maybe if I get a chance I can go explore maybe take a few pictures". She groans, "Uh I wish I could go exploring with you". I smile, "Maybe one day I'll bring you back with me and then we can explore together". "I would like that" she says softly.

There's a small pause before she speaks again. "So do you know when your going to be coming home?" She asks quietly. I sigh knowing it was coming. She asks every time and I hate it. Purely because I can never give her a good answer. I never liked giving her an answer only for her to be disappointed when another job calls me away again. "I don't know Chris" I sigh. "I have this gig which is a city wide shoot which could go on for days if we get delayed and then I might be getting called for another in England afterwards".

I could practically see the frown on her face, "Okay..." I sigh and play with the ring on my finger, "But you know that I'm doing everything in my power to get back home to you". "I know". I inhale deeply, "I love you so so so so much Christen Press". I smile as I hear her giggle down the line, "I love you too". "To the moon and back" I whisper. She sighs contently.

"To the moon and back"

I know that you'll feel better

When you're sat there in my sweater

That I gave you to remember

Being on the sofa next to me

I groan quietly as I rub my eyes tired from constantly staring at the screen. When I glance up I see I've been editing these photos for over 3 hours now as the it now shows that it's nearing 4am. I slump back in the chair and stare up at the ceiling just taking a moment to rest my eyes.

I loved photography and taking pictures of different things. But this was the part I hated the most. Editing. Was simply the bain of my existence. It was just a slow process and took so long to do such small things. And as much as I wanted to just go to sleep I knew I couldn't. The longer I put these off the more pressure I'll be under to get them sent off.

It would also lead to just a bigger amount of pictures to edit and that didn't seem all that appealing either.

It didn't help that all my thoughts just seems to trail back to Christen. She's probably in the middle of team bonding or free time right now. Probably hanging with Tobin or someone right now. What I wouldn't give to just be cuddled up with her right now taking a nap.

I missed her so much right now

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone pinging. I sigh as I grab my phone only to see it's an Instagram notification. I scrunch my face "I've been tagged?" I shrug thinking it's just probably someone posting some photos I took for them but instantly smile when I see who it was.

It was a picture I had actually taken a while ago just for fun but it came out extremely well. It was a picture of Chris sitting on our sofa looking away from the camera and instead to the seat beside her. The light streaming in from the windows we're hitting her perfectly. But the best part was her sitting them in my baggy sweater adorning her small frame making her look even smaller than usual.

Christenpress Wish you were here next to me

I chuckle as I like the photo. Christen was such a tease. She knew that fans had suspicions that she was dating someone but would never come out and directly say who. It was quite funny seeing how many people speculated Christen and Tobin were dating from photos I had taken. Taking friendly gestures way out of context.

After staring at the picture for a while longer I switch off my phone and get back to editing the photos. Wanting to get these done as quickly as possible. Because the quicker I get these done.

The quicker I get home to her.

And when I'm homesick

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you

When I'm homesick

The day had been longer than it should have been. The shoot had a rocky start with an overbearing manager interrupting the shoot constantly and questioning everything every 5 minutes. I was quickly coming to the end of my tether but I finally cracked. Not only was he making the model uncomfortable, he started questioning me. So I eventually kicked him off the shoot.

Which was the best decision as the model finally relaxed enough to continue on with the shoot. It ran much smoother after that but we had a lot of time to make up for. And along with the wardrobe changes and travelling between locations the day was just tiring overall.

It didn't help that homesickness hit my like a train today.

I don't know why but everything just remind me of Christen. It was almost crippling how much I missed her. Wanting nothing more than to be in her arms. But I plastered a smile on my face and grinned and bared it. The only thing getting me through the day was my phone.

My phone was my lifeline and my medicine for homesickness. Whenever I was having a bad day or just missing home all I had to do was turn on my phone. And I was met with Christen smiling up at me from my home screen. It was a picture that I think one of her teammates took. It was of a picture of a few of us at a party or team celebration I honestly couldn't remember. With Tobin, Pinoe and a few others either side of us while Christen was sitting on my lap with my arms wrapped around her and my chin resting on her shoulder. Both of us smiling at the camera. It was of It's my own way of always having her with me.

She has my sweater and I have my home screen. And that will keep us going until we're back together again.

I've got you on my home screen

So anywhere I'm going

I know that you'll be with me

Until I hold you, darling

I focus my camera waiting for the perfect moment until I quickly snap the photo. I grin as I see the outcome of the shots and swear that she could never take a bad photo ever. I wait anxiously taking the occasional picture until the whistle finally blows.

I pull the snood closer to my face and pull my hat down further down my face making me almost unrecognisable. As I make my way onto the field I snap pictures of the players trading after match pleasantries and talking to each other. I smile as I see her smiling and laughing with Tobin and Mal. I raise the camera to my eye and wave at them, "Hey! Can I get a picture?" 

They all nod before standing beside each other and smiling at me with their arms around each other. I quickly take the picture before lowering the camera, "Beautiful! Thank you but I was expecting a better reaction from you".

She looks at me confused before I lower my snood and smile at my girlfriend, "Hey Love". She gasps at me before launching herself into my arms giving me just enough time to move my camera away from getting crushed and catch her in my arms. I spin her around in my arms before putting her back on her feet. "Your here! Omg your actually here!" She squeals as she wraps her arms around my neck.

After passing off my phone to Mal with a smile I securely wrap my arms around her waist pulling her even closer to me, "Yes Darling. I'm here".

We sway side to side for a bit just enjoying being back in each others arms again. "I missed you" she whispers into my neck as I kiss the side of her head, "I missed you too. So so so much Chris".

She pulled back just even to look into my eyes before leaning in to kiss me. Finally being back in each others arms we were so happy to be back with each other. "I love you to the moon and back" I whisper pressing my forehead against hers.

"I love you to the moon and back"

[anxiouspotatorants]

heyy first off im obsessed w your account and the underdog quartet but also i feel like, with your new jess/paris playlist post, we need to acknowledge paris and jess’s first interaction when paris went into luke’s diner in “Richard goes to stars hollow” they had a very subtle interaction but he was clearly memorable enough to her to remember him and his name. I wonder if whenever paris when to stars hollow in the future she would look for jess what do you think

Thank you so much for this ask and the kind words!!! I’m obviously obsessed with UQ too, so finding more people who love that dynamic is just amazing!

Also yes we only had about two direct interactions between Paris and Jess but holy shit was the platonic chemistry there!! Paris bothering to remember him is something I would love to take as a sign that she was a Jess gal (especially since if you combine that with Keiko Agena saying she and Lane are team Jess, that means all my faves support my ship!)

Now for Jess and Paris specifically, I could honestly give you three different types of answers for this. First is that ASP and company didn’t feel like exploring that dynamic, so Paris probably doesn’t think about Jess or seek him out in the future, especially not after Rory’s break up. But that take is boring so let’s go for wild headcanons!

The second approach is on the more realistic side. I bet that Paris would avoid bringing up Jess every time he popped into her mind in front of Rory, but she would be too desperate to finally have that decent conversationalist to not bug Rory about him. She probably wouldn’t head over to Stars Hollow of her own accord considering how disappointed she was with the research results for that article, but she would ask about when Jess could come over to Hartford so she could rip his literary takes to shreds at a nearby cafe or at the elder Gilmores. Once Jess and Rory were a couple, Paris would double down on her requests but probably only have them met once or twice (Jess has work, Rory still has a tendency to compartmentalize parts of her life etc.). Post-breakup Paris would take Rory’s side, but secretly be sad to see a potential friend go. She probably felt like this guys really could be something, not just for Rory who seemed to finally get decent taste in boys, but for Paris who was finally starting to get more true friends. She carries a secret team Jess torch for the rest of the series but hides it in general criticism of any and all guys Rory is involved with.

On to approach three, aka balls to the walls whatever I want!! Hold on to your hat because this will be a long and windy ride:

After the diner-meet, Paris is intrigued by the guy who played along with her interrogation and eye-flirted with Rory. She doesn’t think she’ll see him again, but she would be lying if she said she didn’t want to.

After the dinner at Rory’s, Paris is honestly elated to finally have a great literary conversation with a guy her age. The only one to have come close is Rory, and that doesn’t say much for the «opposite sex» in Paris’ eyes. But she’s also furiously disagreeing with Jess’ «Austen loves Bukowski»-take, so she writes a whole several page argumentative essay and forces Rory to deliver it to Jess the next school day.

Jess responds not with a letter, but by having Rory hand Paris an annotated («blasphemy!») copy of a Bukowski work. There are no arguments from Jess notes, just underlines of quotes he thinks Austen would approve of, and excerpts from different Austen works put in the margins for comparison. Paris despises him for how much she is seeing his point.

At some point Rory get’s sick of being a carrier pigeon and drags Paris with her to ST after school so the two can fight in person. All three stay until Lorelai pops over for dinner, and Paris realizes she needs to haul herself over to the bus. She’s hungry and worried about the time she should have spent on homework, but ultimately really happy about the day.

She’s bummed to see Jess go after the car accident, but doesn’t have much time to think about it between school and… well, school. She does end up being one of the few Rory can talk to about Jess without getting the whole «bad bad boy»-speech she gets over in ST and at her grandparents’.

Rory doesn’t tell Paris Jess is back until the very end of their Washington trip when Paris finds the unfinished letter and Paris is boiling. She does cool quickly, but only to constantly bug Rory about when the three of them are going to meet up again for coffee and verbal war. Rory gets so stressed about it that at some point she gives Paris the number to Luke’s and tells her to go on her own for all Rory cares.

Paris does. Jess is surprised, but they get in the groove quick. What doesn’t go as smoothly is Paris asking what the hell is going on between him and Rory. His non-answers pretty much spell everything out, and in a rare moment of comradery, Paris decides to turn the conversation in to hating on Dean. Jess appreciates it. It doesn’t happen again, but Paris firmly puts herself in the team Jess camp from then on.

Paris is releived once Jess and Rory finally are together and it is great! More cafe talks! Study sessions! Movie nights! They even sneak both Paris and Lane out into concerts! Paris feels like for the first time in a very long time, she has real friends her own age. The kind who actually like you for you and want to spend time with you for you, not just to get better grades or a better reputation.

Paris sucks at being strong for Rory when Jess leaves. Like, she takes it really personal. This was supposed to be the one good guy, and he decided to be just like everyone else. But with time she learns to coach Rory into speaking her mind about the whole thing, and to support her in her own Paris-y way.

What she doesn’t tell Rory is that at some point after summer break (either because she gets hold of Jess for some scolding or because Lane does and spills to Paris or even if Jess gets in touch himself) Jess starts sending Paris beat up books he collects on the road around the country. None of them feature letters (at first), but annotations at the beginning declaring his safety and momentary location, as well as his general style annotations of the book inside the text. Paris starts responding with letters, and with time they start talking on phones and through email.

Paris helps Jess with his GED. They make it an equal study-buddy thing because Paris needs help taking certain writers seriously in her essays. Most of their sessions are over the phone, and a lot of it is just them daring each other to actually try. Paris gets actual stars on her improved essays, and Jess passes with flying colours.

Paris doesn’t know about Truncheon until Jess stands in front of her place ages later, dressed like a Kids Bop version of himself and holding a messengerbag with his debut novel. Paris tears through it in two hours (forcing Jess to sit on the couch next to her the whole time) and then spends another half hour furiously trying to tear it to shreds but actually praising it. She gives him their first hug ever, and hopes this afternoon is a sign they’ll slowly get back to being close friends in person.

Paris sucks at hiding how team Jess she is. So. Much. She does have genuine critiques of Logan and other guys, but her gut-defenses of Jess at random times in the day and weird reminiscing back to the «good old days» of diner talk after school gives her away immediately. Rory is uncomfortable, but Paris doesn’t even change her mind after Rory still picks Logan.

What she does do is invite Jess over for grown up evenings with Doyle. Whenever Rory is scheduled to be out and Jess needs to visit Luke anyway, Paris extends her invitation. They test wines based on price and taste, watch cult classics, eat takeout (in honour of Paris’ very first Mac and Cheese night) and talk for hours. One day wires cross and Jess gets in while Rory is there/Rory gets back while Jess is there and things get awkward.

Paris invites Jess to the graduation. Yes she has a limited amount of tickets and yes it’s weird to invite your friend who has barely been around ever but damn it she wants him there. He came to her when he was celebrating his accomplishments, she wants him to be there for hers.

They actually grow even closer as adults; emailing, texting and calling regularly. About 70% of it is general banter and picking on everything and everyone around them, but it’s a far more loving kind now — not that anyone who isn’t them would know, from the outside it looks like they want to kill each other. Regardless of outcome, Paris remains forever team Jess, and the two end up having each other’s backs for life.

So this went long and away from the point (and I only went through Paris’ pov!) but it was fun to write! I hope you like rant answers!

[hookingminor]

three lessons - mat barzal

a/n: new series idea I just had, spoiler there is filth and the next parts will be as well also im not the best at writing smut so you’ll have to bear with me here. anyway! let me know what you think! comments/thoughts are always appreciated! also, I know it briefly mentions being the younger sister of a teammate, but I know nothing about the isles so its literally just for plot purposes don’t expect much from that and this isn’t proofread sorry

word count: 4.2k

summary: you’re tired of being a virgin, so you hit up Mat to help you with your problem and strike a deal

warnings (18+): loss of virginity, smut

PART TWO

-

This was by far the worst idea you’ve ever had.

In your twenty-one years of life, you’ve never had a worse idea. Your initial plan was crazy in and of itself, but adding Mat to the mix? It’s like you were asking to get your ass kicked.

The original thought came to you a year ago when you were sitting on the couch of your friend’s apartment, four glasses of wine into the night. She was complaining about her latest hookup, raging over the fact that he didn’t know where the clit was.

This is how it usually went between you two.

She was the one who got all the guys, the one who could pick up anyone from the bar and spend the night in a stranger’s bed without a second thought. You, however, were the wingwoman, the person who was left behind when your friend eventually decided to leave with a man.

It didn’t bother you that much. It’s not like you felt like you needed a boyfriend, you were secure in almost all aspects of your life, but the nagging thought in the back of your mind kept saying that you needed to get fucked. And soon.

Maybe it was the alcohol coursing through your bloodstream or the fact that you hadn’t masturbated in nearly two weeks, but you rolled your eyes at your friend before you finally snapped.

“At least you’ve had someone to fuck the past few months! Be grateful you’re not me and still a virgin at twenty!” You shouted, fed up with hearing stories about how your friend’s sex life was so terrible. At least she had a sex life to begin with.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry,” you apologized quickly, bringing your hand to cover your mouth in shock, “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s hard listening to you talk about this when I can’t contribute to the conversation.”

“No, you’re right. I’m sorry for always talking about it,” your friend said, eyes softening when she heard how regretful you sounded, “How about we change the subject?”

She didn’t wait for your response before launching into a monologue about how classes were going and her upcoming finals. You tried listening to her, but your mind was still stuck on the previous topic. Of course it was unfortunate that you happened to be twenty and with no sexual experience, but it didn’t bother you before like it was bothering you right now.

Ideas began racing through your head of how you could rectify this, and that’s when the seed was planted.

Now, almost a year later, your carefully thought out plan was almost complete; though, ‘carefully’ could be more loosely translated to ‘reckless.’

You paced outside of Mat’s door, walking back and forth as you fiddled with your hands, working up the courage to knock. This was such a bad idea. You brought your hand up to the door, pausing before your fist made contact before bringing it back down and resuming your pacing.

After another five minutes of deep contemplation, you made your decision. You knocked on the door before you could second guess yourself, now bringing your hands to tug at the strands of your hair.

The few seconds it took for Mat to answer the door felt like a lifetime, and when he opened the door, you were met with a confused look.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked, peeking his head out of the door to glance down the hallway.

“Hi, I know you weren’t expecting me and you have to leave for practice soon, but I needed to talk to you about something,” you explained quickly.

Mat’s brows stayed furrowed in confusion, but he opened the door further to let you inside.

“Firstly, I just wanted to say that Anders doesn’t know I’m here, and I’d really appreciate it if you never mentioned it to him,” you said as he closed the door behind you.

Mat ushered you into his living room, gesturing for you to take a seat on the couch as he crossed his arms and waited for you to continue.

“This is going to sound absolutely crazy and you’re probably going to reject me but just hear me out,” you said, taking a deep sigh. He was totally going to shut you down, but there was no turning back now.

“I wanted to ask you if you’d have sex with me. You’d be doing me a favor as my friend. I’m kind of… a virgin… and I really don’t want to be anymore,” you took a breath to watch his reaction which was unreadable, “You’re probably thinking it’s a terrible idea, being that I’m Anders’s sister and everything, but I promise I won’t say anything to him. I just want to get a little experience under my belt… it’s kind of embarrassing. Anyway, I just wanted to ask if you’d give me a few lessons or something.”

You raised your eyes to meet Mat’s as you finished your rant, worrying about what he was going to say. A long silence fell between you two as he processed what you said.

“Uh… I don’t really know what to say,” he started awkwardly, bringing his hand to rub at the back of his neck, “I’m honored, I guess? That you asked me to help, but I’m just a little confused since we don’t really know each other.”

Okay, you could give him that. It was true that you weren’t the closest of friends, but you’d met on a handful occasions. It’s not like you were complete strangers, but other than knowing what you were studying in school and that you were Anders’s much younger sister, he didn’t know much about you.

“That’s fair,” you said, “I asked you because, well, you’re obviously hot which I’m sure you know. Also, not knowing each other is what makes this perfect. I’m not attached to you in any way and vice versa. Honestly? You’re one of the few guys in town that I feel comfortable around, so it was either ask you or find a random Tinder hookup and have to do this speech all over again but ten times as awkward.”

Mat didn’t like the last part of that explanation: the whole ‘random Tinder hookup to take your virginity’ part. He may not have known you that well, but he knew you were a nice girl and deserved to be more than just a notch on the bedpost of someone who didn’t care about you.

“I know you’re probably thinking I’m insane, and I get it. I felt a little insane when I thought about this too. But I really feel like you’re the best option. I understand if you think it’s too weird, though,” you said when he hadn’t replied. Your eyes watched him as he sat still as a rock across from you.

“I… I have to leave for practice soon,” was the only thing he responded with.

You felt your heart drop at his statement. Of course he was going to say no, you were an idiot for even trying.

“Yeah, totally, I’ll get going,” you said quickly, gathering your stuff and making your way to the entrance.

When you reached the door, you turned back one last time to see him still in the same position.

“Can you not tell Anders, please? I know this was a crazy, stupid idea but… just don’t tell him, okay? He doesn’t need to know about my sex… well, lack of sex life,” you added before shutting the door behind you.

-

Mat had lost his mind.

Truly and honestly, he had lost his mind if he was even considering your proposition. Which he was. He was really considering your proposition, and he wanted to punch himself for it.

He couldn’t possibly agree to this, could he? You were the captain’s younger sister. Sure, you two weren’t the closest of siblings, but the code still applied. And the code clearly said he was not allowed to fraternize with relatives of his teammates in any way. He hadn’t broken this rule yet, and he couldn’t believe he was even thinking about breaking it now.

Inside his head, he weighed the pros and the cons of sleeping with you. Well, teaching you would be a better phrase. If Mat was being honest, he had blacked out after the terms ‘virgin’ and ‘have sex with me’ fell from your lips. He watched you from his spot on the couch, his eyes following your mouth but not processing the words you were saying. Truthfully, he ran over the conversation a million times in his head and he wasn’t sure he was actually processing them now.

You wanted him to take your virginity. You wanted him to give you experience. You called them lessons.

You were, quite literally, asking him to be your sex tutor.

When you left the apartment, he did what he did best. He compartmentalized. Instead of thinking about the awkward conversation he just had with you, he pushed all thoughts of you from his mind and went to practice. For a whole three hours he focused on hockey. He even had the courage to look at his captain despite the weird interaction he’d just had with his sister.

But then practice was over, and Mat was left with nothing to do but think about what you said. Thinking turned into contemplating, and contemplating eventually turned into pulling up your Instagram page.

Mat typed and retyped the message a million times, deleting it before he could accidentally pressed send. He went back and forth between wanting to say yes and throwing his phone as far away from him so he wouldn’t be tempted.

What could be the worst thing that happened? He thought.

A million bad things could happen. He knew this deep in his heart that it was, for all intents and purposes, the worst idea ever to teach his captain’s sister how to have sex, but his head and desire to get laid had other plans.

So, he picked up his phone one last time and composed the same message he’d written a hundred times.

to @yourusername: does your offer still stand? text me 212-203-3849

-

For the second time in a week, you were pacing outside of Mat’s apartment. You’d received his message almost six days ago, and now here you were.

Your chest nearly collapsed with relief when you’d seen he wanted to take you up on your offer. And then your stomach filled with butterflies, nerves wracking your body as you now had an official plan to lose your virginity.

You eagerly liked the message, dialing his number in your phone so you could hash out the details over text. He promised you two would go over some ground rules in person, saying it felt too weird to have a written contract or something over text. You agreed to his plans and set a date to go over to his apartment that following weekend.

Feeling more courageous than you did a week ago, you knocked on the door with confidence this time. If you were going to lose your virginity tonight, you weren’t going to look like a frightened kitten when you did.

Mat greeted you with a warm smile this time, his eyes lighting up when he saw you. Same as last time, he ushered you into his apartment and directed you towards his couch.

“Do you want anything to drink? I was about to open a bottle of wine,” Mat asked, already moving to the kitchen.

“Yeah, wine would be great. Thanks,” you replied, taking a seat on the edge of the couch.

Mat tinkered around in the kitchen for a couple minutes before he joined you, handing you a glass of red. You took a long sip as he settled down, hoping the wine would work fast to calm your nerves.

“So, what did you want to discuss first?” He asked after a moment.

“Well, we should probably have some ground rules. I was thinking that since you’re the expert and all, you should decide how these lessons go. Oh, and I think that we should keep this to a three-time thing. Anything more than that will probably get more complicated,” you answered with ease. Not to say you had spent the past week thinking about what you were going to say, but you definitely did.

Mat nodded in agreement at your suggestions before adding his own.

“Yeah, that sounds good. Also, we can’t tell anyone about this because, you know, your brother and the team and all,” he said. You hummed in response, that much was a given. No one could know about this.

“So, where do we start? Should I take off my clothes or?” You asked.

“No,” he said with a chuckle, “We’re going to watch a movie.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it. For now at least.”

You hadn’t known what you were expecting, but it was not a cuddle session on his couch. You imagined that maybe he would’ve just ripped your clothes off the minute you walked in to get down to business, but he was being way more casual than you were feeling. Which was probably a good thing because your heart was beating a thousand beats a minute, so at least one of you had this situation under control.

Mat had told you to dress comfortably as he didn’t plan on leaving the apartment, and he was dressed in a similar fashion as you: gray sweatpants with a dark blue t-shirt. You had thrown on a pair of leggings and a shirt from your college before leaving, making sure to wear at least a nice bralette and pair of panties underneath.

He drank down the rest of his wine before adjusting himself on the couch, moving into a position where he was laying down. Grabbing the blanket folded on the back cushion, he spread it out over his body before patting the spot in front of him. Normally, you would’ve been intimidated by a bold move like this, but the wide smile on his face indicated that he was perfectly comfortable right now, and his ease surrounded you in waves.

Slamming back the rest of your wine, you lay down in front of him, tucking your body against his while his arms pulled your chest closer.

“Anything specific you want to watch?” He asked, using his free hand to grab the remote. You muttered a quiet ‘no,’ allowing him to go ahead and choose. Mat scrolled through the Netflix options before settling on a new action movie.

“So, how much experience do you have exactly?” Mat asked once the introduction credits had finished. It was a good thing he wasn’t looking at you because your face heated up in embarrassment.

“I’ve only ever got as far as making out,” you muttered.

“No one’s ever touched you then?” He prodded.

“No,” you replied, your cheeks on fire. You couldn’t see him, but Mat nodded in response against the back of your head, letting out a quiet ‘okay.’

It wasn’t the first time Mat had been with a virgin, but that hadn’t been since high school and when he also wasn’t that experienced himself. Mat decided to let the movie play for a little bit longer before making his first move.

That time came when there was a particularly slow scene on. Slowly, he lifted up the hem of your t-shirt and slid his hand underneath, tracing small circles on the skin of your stomach. You clenched your thighs together as a warm feeling started to spread throughout your body.

It was happening.

Mat kept his hands there for a few minutes, inching up so slowly you almost couldn’t tell he’d moved at all. When the initial shock of his touch settled, you tried to refocus your attention to the movie.

Another ten minutes passed before Mat made his next move. Almost imperceptibly, he used his elbow to push his torso up before he brushed the hair covering your neck to the side. You felt his fingertips brush your ear, a shiver running up your spine. He brought his lips to your neck a split second later, placing a soft kiss against it.

Your eyes briefly shut for a second, reveling in the fact that Mat’s lips were on your neck. He kissed around your jaw a couple times before the hand on his stomach was shifting you to rest on your back. Your body followed his lead and your eyes met his hazel ones before he was leaning in to kiss your lips.

A heat unfurled in your body the second your lips connected and you eagerly moved yours against his. One of Mat’s hands had moved to the back of your neck to tilt your head at a better angle, the other hand moving further up under your shirt to rest just below your bra clasp. Your body involuntarily arched up into his hands as his tongue slipped out to part your lips. You opened your mouth and his tongue entered immediately, tangling with yours. You and Mat lay on the couch for a good while, making out heavily before you eventually had to break it for air.

“At least you don’t have to worry about kissing. You’re a natural,” Mat commended with an airy chuckle, and you couldn’t help but laugh at his compliment.

Mat’s smile brightened at your laugh before he leaned back in, the heat building in your body at double speed. You knew you were attracted to him, but you didn’t think he would be able to wind you up this fast. Or maybe it was just because you’ve never had a man touch you like this before.

Breaking the kiss, Mat began to trail more kisses down your body, pausing near your collarbone when he heard a particular breathy gasp leave your mouth. Mat continued his path over your shirt until he reached your belly button.

“Can I take this off?” He asked, looking up at you.

“You can take mine off if you take yours off,” you replied with a seductive smirk. Mat pulled back from your body, matching your smirk with one of his own as he tore off his shirt. Less than a second later, he was tugging at the hem of yours, urging you to sit up so he could take it off.

Mat’s hands were back on your body right after he tossed your shirt on the floor. This time, he retraced his path down your torso with his mouth and tongue, leaving no patch of skin untouched. His fingers danced around the edge of your leggings, teasing you until you were lifting up your hips into his face.

“Please take them off, Mat,” you said through gasps, wanting nothing more than to be rid of your clothing. He chuckled lightly against your waistband, his nose tickling your abdomen before he began shimmying off your leggings.

Tilting your hips up, you helped him slide the pants down your legs along with your underwear. Though your cheeks flamed up at the thought of being exposed before Mat, you felt oddly calm (well, as calm as you can be given the circumstances) with him.

“Holy shit, baby. You’re soaked,” Mat noted with a deep groan. He shuffled his body further down the couch into a comfortable position, lifting one leg to hook over his shoulder.

You breathed in shaky breaths as Mat placed gentle kisses on your thighs, working upwards slowly until he reached your core. And when he used his tongue to lick a strip across your pussy, your back arched into the air as you let out a loud moan.

“You gotta stay still, Y/N,” Mat chuckled darkly, wrapping one hand to steady your middle.

“Sorry, never done this before,” you replied in gasps.

Now immobilized, Mat resumed his place between your legs, repeating the same series of licks before he closed his lips around your clit. He flicked his tongue across the sensitive area. God, you would have done this a long time ago if you knew it would feel this good. You weren’t sure if it was too early to feel the heat inside you build up this quickly or if Mat was just too good at this. You hoped it was the latter.

His tongue lapped at your folds, and your hands flew down to grasp his hair in need. You didn’t think you could moan any louder, but then he brought his thumb to your clit to rub in tight circles as his tongue teased your entrance.

“Holy fuck,” you whined out, canting your hips up as much as you could. You could feel his smirk against your pussy at your exclamation, bringing his hand down to slowly enter a finger into you.

You let out a surprised gasp as you felt the first finger penetrate you. Mat kept his attention on your clit, lips sucking harshly at it. You let yourself get lost in the pleasure, focusing on how good he was making you feel.

After a few thrusts of one finger, giving you plenty of time to adjust, he added a second, feeling your walls tighten around them. He moved both fingers in and out of you, alternating the pressure between your entrance and clit. Just when he hit the right spot inside you, your hand tugged on his hair tightly, and he took the hint to curl his fingers against that spot.

“I’m so close, Mat,” you moaned, tossing your head back into the pillow.

“What do you need, baby?” He asked, pulling back for a quick breath. You glanced down to meet his gaze, taking in the way his chin glistened from your pussy. The view made you moan lowly, and his eyes darkened at the sound.

“Your tongue, please,” you begged quietly.

Mat heard the words leave your mouth and nestled his face back between your legs, tongue sliding up your slit in response. In rhythm with stroking your g-spot, he sucked at your clit, and it was mere seconds before your body coiled tightly inside. He kept the same pace and before long, you felt yourself crest the peak and then fall.

Mat removed his fingers slowly from your entrance, his tongue licking softly at your folds until he felt your breathing return to normal. It took you a few seconds to regain your sense of self, stars still whirling in the corners of your vision. When you finally felt yourself grounded on Earth again, you opened your eyes to see a self-satisfied smirk on Mat’s face.

“You’re so hot when you come,” he said when you met his gaze, and had you not been riding high on cloud nine when he said this, you might have blushed in embarrassment. But you weren’t embarrassed right now. The only thing you felt was giddy. Giddy because you were one step closer to your end goal.

And while you were blissed out, you dropped your gaze to notice the extremely visible bulge tenting in his sweatpants. Focused on a new task, you sat up quickly before leaning over Mat’s body so you could return the favor. Your lips crashed against his in a frenzy, your hands clumsily reaching down to grasp his length. However, you only got to feel it for a second before Mat’s hand was tugging it away.

“Not tonight, babe. Tonight was about you,” Mat said with a strained voice, breaking the kiss to look at you.

“What do you mean? We’re not having sex tonight?” You asked in confusion, your head still a little hazy from the orgasm.

“No, we’re not,” he laughed, noticing the wantonness in your voice, “You said I’m in charge, right? This was already a lot for one night, so we’ll put off the sex until next time.”

You nodded your head, though you weren’t really understanding. It made sense. Tonight was a very big step for you, and he didn’t want to give you too much at once. But despite that, your pussy was begging for a repeat performance and you were so far gone you were willing to do just about anything Mat would say.

“What about you, though?” You asked, glancing down to the noticeable tent.

“I’ll be fine, I promise. We still have two more lessons. There’s plenty of time for that later,” he replied, though the bulge between you seemed to say otherwise.

“Promise you’re okay?” You insisted.

“I swear, Y/N,” he said with a chuckle.

A comfortable silence fell between you after that, and you couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across your face. Your eyes sparkled with renewed purpose, and you felt satisfied for the first time in a long time. A smile of Mat’s own slowly appeared on his face as he watched you light up before him. Before you could stop yourself, you threw yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck.

“Thank you, Mat. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You said happily, punctuating each ‘thank you’ with a loud smacking kiss on his cheek.

When you pulled back to give him that award-winning smile again, Mat had one thought.

He was totally fucked.

[haneybun123]

Twice w/ an Autistic S/O

masterlist

a/n: I want to preface this by saying, for anyone that doesn’t follow my blog, I am neurodivergent. but autism is different for everyone effected, so if this isn’t 100% true to your experience with autism, we may just have different symptoms!

Im Nayeon / Nayeon

- when you tell her, she’s really happy that you trusted her with such a part of yourself. she doesn’t want to be invasive, but her first instinct is to ask questions about how to be as supportive as possible. she doesn’t like the idea that there was a time that she wasn’t doing her best for you.

- when you talk about your symptoms she takes everything you have to say in with the upmost importance. she wants to make sure she can protect you if you need it, and know what to look out for and treat differently when it comes to you. she’d rather hear everything about autism from you than anywhere else because she’d rather hear it from the source. you’re who she needs to care for, after all.

- as the eldest, she knows how to be patient and work on her feet to help out as much as possible. so, she’s really good at helping out when you get overwhelmed or overloaded in public. if your auditory filter is really bad (like mine is lmao) or there’s just way too much going on she’s so quick to get you out of there and help you calm down. she’ll take you home as soon as she can so you don’t have to crash in public, and give you some sweet snacks to get your energy back.

- one thing she struggles to adjust to, though, is touch sensitivity. sometimes, you get overwhelmed and just need to be left alone for a bit but her instinct is to hug the ever-loving hell out of you. when it only makes it worse she feels awful, because she doesn’t know how to help without being the softy she is. she can give you the space you need, you just nee to comfort her afterwards because she thinks she screwed up.

- she is 100% the type to sit down and listen to you rant about your newest hyperfixation for hours on end. she’ll do as much reading as she needs to (because you’re probably told her every detail) so she can engage whenever you see / hear about it again. and if you even begin to feel bad about how much you’ve spoken about it, she’ll plainly tell you to shush because whatever you’re into, she’s into. you just have different needs, and that’s okay! you’re a team, just like TWICE, and she’s more than willing to adapt for you.

Yoo Jeongyeon / Jeongyeon

- when you tell her, you think she’s bothered by it or doesn’t care, which is naturally upsetting. but, she’s just thinking about all of the signs she didn’t notice and all the ways she could have helped you sooner. she’s more upset at herself, and will quickly tell you so once she realises you could interpret it wrong. you think it’s the sweetest thing in the world, of course, because Jeongyeon is the sweetest.

- she thought she knew what she needed to know- that it was a processing issue and it just made life a little bit harder. but, when she listens to your stories (because the first thing she asks is how many times she’s missed helping you, bless her) she realises she was way off and reads more. she feels super guilty for underestimating it and apologises about it (she spends a lot of time apologising after you first tell her).

- honestly, she really struggles with your issues with tone. she’s naturally sassy and has sarcastic humour so trying to adapt to your inability to understand emotions and tone is one she’s gonna need time to get used to. always apologises afterwards and will cry if it hurts you (˘꒳˘❀). she’s trying her best, though, and you tell her everyday how much you appreciate it.

- but, Jeongyeon is really protective. if anyone does anything to hurt you, purposefully triggers you, or accidentally triggers you, she will get you out of there asap and go and bully that person mercilessly. you may not want to tell people what they’re doing is wrong or hurtful but she will happily. and, when she’s done, she gives you all the love and help you could ever need to make up for it.

- because she’s so peaceful and attentive, she’s a naturally really supporting partner to have. she learns quickly about how to adjust everything to better fit your needs, and soon everything is perfect. just an amazing, supportive girlfriend. 

Momo / Hirai Momo

- gets a bit emotional because she realises the amount of ways she’s probably made you uncomfortable or sad. once you assure her it’s alright and she had no way of knowing she gets okay, but she’s still a bit distraught bless her. she’ll spend a lot of time thinking about how many times she missed you being hurt and how she can continue to be better for you.

- asks you a lot of questions and looks more into it later on, when you’re resting. she wants to make sure she understands everything about autism so she’s better equipped to help you when you need it, because it didn’t take a lot of digging for her to realise that spending all day dancing in a super loud room, performing at super loud concerts, and being an energetic girlfriend were not the most synergetic with your sensitivity.

- she always wondered why you seemed uncomfortable at concerts and dance practice, but when she realises it’s because they’re too loud she feels super guilty about dragging you all this time. she wants to make sure you can enjoy her performances so she gets you noise cancelling headphones so you can finally have fun there!

- will get you so many fidget toys so that you can better handle the environment she works in. she knows her performances are loud, and the crowd is super intense, and the lighting at her shows are absolutely blinding, so she gets as many things as she can to help you out with them. she even gets you those fancy cubes with the multiple sides as well as your standard tangles and spinners. it’s very pure.

- tries so hard, all of the time, to ensure she’s up to date about everything that will make you upset and how to make it better. eventually, it gets to the point that she notices what might trigger you before you do, and she’s asking you if you’ll be able to handle it by the time you’ve turned around to tell her. she just cannot stand you upset and will go out of her way to prevent it. she cares so much about you, she won’t stand to hurt you.

Sana / Minatozaki Sana

- she tries to keep her reaction to a minimum because she doesn't want to make it a big deal. you’re in a relationship, you tell each other stuff, and if you were going to take your relationship all the way she should know this. but, inside, she’s flattered you revealed such a big detail about yourself. 

- she doesn’t make the fact that you’re autistic a big deal because it shouldn’t be. you’re still the same person she fell in love with, she just realises why you act the way you do now. of course, she makes sure to educate herself on what she doesn’t know, and makes sure to ask you if what she read is relevant to you. she still makes sure to remember it, though, because it’s important to be educated.

- could literally sit and listen to you talk about your hyper fixations / special interests for days on end. she loves passion, so seeing it in you just makes her heart explode. always listens, prompts for more info, and asks slightly specific questions so she knows what to buy you from it later. honestly, it's a miracle she hasn’t combusted from how cute she thinks you are when you gush, too.

- isn’t as great as getting you out of stressful situations because she gets distracted by all of the cool stuff around her so easily, but she is so good at grounding you. she’s got her method down to the finest details and, with a voice as beautiful as hers, it works like a charm every time. each time it happens, she always goes and gets you something sweet that you love to get your energy back because she hates to see how hard you crash afterwards.

- she isn't the most attentive member when it comes to these things, but she truly tries her absolute hardest to make sure you’re happy. she tries her best to think everything through to make sure it’s safe for you and that you can be happy with her hectic lifestyle. just an all around caring angel.

Park Jihyo / Jihyo

- she is immediately supportive. she’s super proud of you for saying so, and will tell you such. she knows it can be hard because she’s heard about bad reactions to such things. 

- she decided to do research later on in the day, after everything had died down and you had both talked about your experiences with autism. she read up on everything she could about the disorder and how dating someone with autism can be different from neurotypical relationships. 

- buys you so much to do with your special interests it’s not even funny. any time she sees anything to do with something your fixated on she buys it, or asks you about it to make sure you haven’t already got something similar. before, she didn’t really understand, but now that she knows how your mind works she isn’t selective at all. she just wants to make you happy and show you that she cares about them.

- her leader instincts really pop out whenever you get stressed out or overloaded, especially in public. she’s always keeping an eye out for good spots to take you when you need to calm down, or things that she needs to avoid as this could trigger you. when it does happen she’s immediately ready, and it’s something you always compliment her on. 

- she did a lot of research so if you ever feel the need to leave, sit on your own for a bit, or straight up cancel a date right in the middle of it, she really doesn’t mind. whatever you need she’s here for. she’s always looking out for ways to make your relationship work for you both. she’s always there for you (´•ω•｀♥)

Mina / Myoui Mina

- definitely the most composed. she’ll thank you for telling her, and calls you brave for trusting her with such knowledge. she’ll ask if you wanna talk about it, and your struggles as a person with autism, how you feel about things you’ve done in your relationship and if anything really stresses you and and you just didn’t tell her.

- she spends a lot of time thinking about what you told her, and how that applies to what you do in your relationship. she spends more time looking into how to calm down people having sensory overloads and what to do to prevent them than anything else, because the idea of you having to deal with that yourself upsets her.

- Mina is a super peaceful person, so worrying about sensory overload isn't a big deal while dating her. she doesn’t like dates to loud places and doesn’t put any pressure on you to go to shows. she’ll just buy you good noise cancelling headphones for when they tour and put them away when you get home. your dates are only ever to cafes and parks anyway, so that part isn’t effected much by her.

- your hyper fixations inevitably become hers, too, because she pays such close attention to them she gets interested in them as well. she’ll listen to you talk about them for hours, asking actually in depth questions about how certain details link and what you both think should have happened instead. she’ll happily sit down and watch / play / listen to the interest for hours, and ends up getting you both matching merchandise at the end.

- overall, really sweet and caring. is so attentive to all of your needs, triggers, and moods and knows exactly how to take care of you through each one. an absolute sweetheart.

Dahyun / Kim Dahyun

- she actually gets a little upset because she feels like she should know you well enough to figure it out herself, but autism looks different in everyone. it’s not a one size fits all set of symptoms like Dahyun thought initially, so you tell her she can’t beat herself up over it. you’re telling her now because she deserves to know, and she’s flattered.

- but, Dahyun definitely needs to do some research. she realises that a lot of portrayals of autism are actually pretty damaging and to presume like she did was wrong. she learns mostly from you, and reading from what you sent her. she appreciates your patience as she learns, and promises to become the best girlfriend she can for you.

- one of the first things she does is buys you some cool fidget things she found online. she’ll even buy you those cool aesthetic slimes that look like ice cream  if you like the texture of it. she always bought you stuff from what you love, but now she tends to focus on the one character you like the most because she knows it will mean more.

- is actually really good at calming you down. she could always tell you were anxious so she learnt what touch you liked to ground you. always asks you questions that don’t require much thinking, like when your birthday is, while she rubs little circles into your hands. gives you a small forehead kiss afterwards, and takes you to somewhere quieter where you can relax.

- Dahyun tries very hard for you because you’re her world. will do anything to make you happy and it shows by how hard she tries to make you feel safe. the sweetest girl.

Chaeyoung / Son Chaeyoung

- she doesn’t take you being autistic as a grand reveal like some of the members do. she understood from the beginning that you were a little different than everyone else. you reacted differently to things, you hated things intensely that most wouldn't see as important, you always got tense in crowds, but it didn’t bother Chaeyoung. she saw it as you, it was just interesting to finally get a label for it.

- she doesn’t feel the need to do research at first because she felt like she had already noticed everything, but when you had your first open sensory overload around her was when she did it. she had managed to calm you down but it wasn't easy- realising autism could be so intense, and her guilt at not knowing what to do, spurred her to do it. 

- is really careful with you after the sensory overload, to the point she treats you like fine china. she’ll become more relaxed once she knows fully what triggers you but, until then, everything is a danger to her. loud groups of teens across the road, too many cars, restaurants, all of it is worrying to her, because she knows it might set you off. it’s actually quite sweet.

- loves finding new, calm stuff you guys can do together. anything to do with your interests, somewhere that's designed to be quiet or calm, even a new disability safe space. she loves taking you to them and see you able to be relax in public for once. it makes her so happy seeing you free, enjoying your interests as much as you want.

- Chaeyoung is a bit confused at first but she truly tries her hardest to make your relationship sweet and work for the both of you.

Chou Tzuyu / Tzuyu

- when you tell her she honestly just.. doesn’t think it matters. she tells you she doesn’t see you any different for it, just asks you to expand on how it has effected your relationship dynamic thus far. you talk about it for a while and, when she thinks she understands, she lets it go.

- rather than doing research independently, she’d rather ask you about things as you went along. whenever you go out, she always makes sure to check in on you and how you feel, even down to how loud the stereo is in the car. when she finds out you don't have a great audio filter she learns how far away from crowds you need to be to hear her properly. she doesn’t want to pressure you to tell her everything all at once, so she takes it slow.

- honestly, I think Tzuyu will be the member to cope best. because she is so quiet, relaxed, and low-key, you don’t find yourself struggling a lot around her. she doesn’t like loud places either, so that isn't something you need to worry about with her. she keeps herself neat and adjusts quickly to your routine, so she doesn’t have to force you to change when it isn’t necessary.

- because Tzuyu isn’t the best with affection (at least in my eyes) being touch sensitive with her is actually convenient. she likes small physical gestures like resting your legs together when you sit next to each other, and linking pinkies, so when you’re just not in the mood to be held it doesn’t affect her. she can just adjust herself, and you’re fine again.

- the great thing about Tzuyu as a girlfriend is that she thinks about everything. so, it isn’t hard for her to think about everything she needs to do to keep you safe. she is a caring angel, and dating her with autism will be a breeze.