#pretending not to notice how Not Platonic their 'friendship' is as they share spaghetti Lady and the Tramp style

[total-drama-brainrot]

nowen playing up the world's funniest bit post world tour (assuming the og cast stays on playa des losers whilst roti is being filmed) and just not telling anyone they're dating. abusing the "best friends" card to get away with increasingly more pda until someone cracks.

it starts off with owen carrying noah around on his shoulders like a neck pillow for a whole day. no one bats an eye; noah's lazy and owen's too altruistic for his own good, nothing strange about buddies carrying their friends.

and then the two of them just start randomly hugging whenever they want. people brush it off when owen's the one doing the hugging, until noah just walks up to his loving bf and clings to him like a koala unprompted. probably takes a nap like that too. but everyone politely refuses to address their mutual clinginess because it's whatever, right? nothing outlandish about friends hugging.

one day, during one of the casts' shared meals, someone notices that noah's missing and points it out. noah's head pops out from owen's shirt collar, revealing he's sat with (on) his chubby buddy underneath his shirt. eyebrows are raised, but it's overlooked.

later on, noah smacks his massive forehead on the corner of a door or something and owen rushes over to kiss it better, then peppers his whole face in kisses to "heal his boo-boos". people are starting to question how platonic their friendship is, but remember that owen's just kind of like that sometimes as a disaster bi and let it slide.

but after this incident the two of them get more comfortable playfully kissing each other in public and everyone is too awkward to outright ask if they're /srs or /j.

they start calling each other increasingly ridiculous pet names- escalating from things like "little buddy" and "big guy", to the classic "honey" "babe" and "dear", to outlandish stuff like "my little rotisserie chicken" and "my darling malewife whom i love dearly" and "panzerkampfwagen viii maus". no one knows what to make of this.

it isn't until heather gets fed up with everyone's hesitance to address the subject and corners the two for answers (she strikes me as the type of person to be super direct when asking for tea to be spilled) that the pair turn and nod sagely to each other. owen explains "we're married for tax benefits." noah laughs so hard he passes out.