#kinda drafty in here (posts from the drafts)

[ivorydice]

(sorry about the weird format of this post, the ask post, somehow, messed up when I had it in drafts so I gotta post it like this stupid god damn tumblr)

Sure! A peek into what Noct’s life is like. I guess this is kinda violent and involves very minor character death, but if you’re used to reading my stuff then it probably won’t even make you blink lmao. Again, it’s first drafty. Also sorry it’s not more interesting, I just wasn’t sure about posting any spoilery-plotty stuff lol!

*

Silence reigns and the emperor’s audience shifts uncomfortably. Ardyn fights back a smile; he already knows what’s coming.

“Beast,” the emperor says. “Kill him.”

The soldier doesn’t even have the chance to scream.

Noctis lunges forwards, fast and vicious. Kneeling and subservient one moment, a snarling blur the next. He stops in front of the soldier, his claws buried deep inside his chest, directly through his heart, lifting him off the ground a few inches. The soldier chokes and stares and twitches, his eyes wide, blood dripping from his lips, but he’s already dead.

The emperor’s audience gasps and jerks backwards, but no one dares to run. They don’t dare step out of line. Even soldiers with guns are hesitant, it seems.

Ardyn lets out a slow breath, watching only his little monster. Noctis remains statue still, claws buried in the soldier, his face passive and his burning yellow eyes unblinking.

“I suppose alternative methods are required, then,” the emperor mutters. “The defectors must be found. Come back here, beast. Return to me.”

Noctis drops the soldier, unflinching as the body hits the floor at his feet. He turns, his eyes and his face still blank as he kneels once more beside the emperor’s throne.

If there is any humanity still left in there, Ardyn thinks with a small smile, then it’s buried deep, deep down where no one can reach it.

Left to rot in the dark where no one can hear him scream.

[damijon-supersons]

In lieu of your recent post with Jon wearing the original Robin suit, I wonder if we will get a short tale of said event.

Yeah, I kinda had that idea in my head for a while :p I’m surprised the comics themselves haven’t toyed with this concept already lol.

“This feels…snug,” Jon remarked. His fingers tugged at the strap of his new uniform’s bottom half. He winced at how little there was he could tug.

“Should I take that as an expression of comfort?” Damian asked smugly. He scrutinized Jon in the outfit, from his messy, dark-haired head, down to his bare legs and green pointed shoes.

“No, you shouldn’t,” Jon said grumpily. He heaved an irritated sigh as he stared at himself in the mirror once more.

After a disastrous bet, Jon found himself wearing Dick Grayson’s first Robin costume. The legendary uniform looked as dated as it was drafty between the legs. Jon’s eyes were masked by a visor, which had the sole ability to switch to night vision. His smart phone had dozens more filters than this, he thought glumly. On his shoulders rested a bright yellow cape—and while Damian swore it was fireproof, it wasn’t bulletproof, or anything-else-proof, and couldn’t even glide. The button-down top was firehouse red with short green sleeves, and while it seemed to be padded and armored somewhat, it was definitely not designed for comfort—Jon could already feel his armpits chafing. The shoes did not improve his opinion of the getup. At first glance, Jon had mistaken them for elf shoes. And despite Damian’s insistence that they were designed for agility, Jon still thought they were elf shoes.

Then of course, there were the briefs. They were not pants, or shorts, or even tights—there was really no other word for it other than ‘briefs’. Green and covered with a scale-like mesh, it was probably the main part of the costume that made Jon want to shout out one big giant ‘NOPE!’

“How can I even fight with these?” Jon asked incredulously as he twisted his waist.

“Nothing beats the classics,” Damian said with a smirk, as if that was enough of an explanation. “Besides, those green underpants are actually the most armored part of the uniform. They even protect your decency by hiding the outline of your scrawny behind.” Damian punctuated the sentence by nonchalantly slapping Jon’s rear.

FWAP

“Ow! Hey!” Jon snapped indignantly. The briefs didn’t do much to protect Jon’s dignity.

“Grayson was just twelve years old when he wore that costume,” Damian continued. “He was already a prodigious acrobat, and his uniform was tailored to take advantage of that. The costume gave him maneuverability. Perhaps literally wearing his shoes will teach you to respect his skill.”

“Hey,” Jon chided. “I like Dick!—“

Damian snorted trying to stifle a laugh, causing Jon’s cheeks to flush.

“I mean I don’t need to wear his…briefs…to respect him because I already do!”

Damian waved him off and began walking away. “What I meant was that you should appreciate how skilled he was being able to assist my father despite wearing something like that. Also, you lost a bet, so you have no choice. Now, let’s ride!”

***

Jon made a mental list of all the things he hated doing wearing Dick Grayson’s costume.

First, there was riding Damian’s Robin Cycle. The feeling of his legs’ bare skin rubbing against the motor bike’s leather seat was uncomfortable enough, but the cool wind felt like it was cutting up his exposed limbs with tiny icy daggers. The draft crept up through his sleeves and leg holes, and the entire experience just made him thoroughly miserable.

Then, there were the bystanders. Everyone who saw him asked why he was wearing a Halloween costume in August. It pained Jon that, to these people, Dick’s uniform was already so iconic that it’s been relegated to party costume status. Even more than that, he felt like everyone saw him as even more of a little kid—which he technically was—but the costume made him feel a little less confident to talk to people. They also kept asking him if he was cold wearing it. With a smile and gritted teeth, he always replied, ‘yes, yes he was’.

He also couldn’t fly. He had no doubt that a flying boy wearing the classic Robin uniform would raise more than a few eyebrows. They’d start to ask some pretty awkward questions. Things like, ‘Since when did Robin fly?’, or, ‘Is that a new hero copying Robin?’, and even worse, ‘Is that Superboy wearing Robin’s underwear?’ If there was one thing Jon was grateful for, it was the mask, because at least some part of the costume protected his privacy—and all the times his eyes would twitch whenever cruel-looking teenagers would tease him for wearing green diapers.

Ironically enough, he was most embarrassed around criminals. Them laughing at him was actually the least embarrassing thing that’s happened. Damian mockingly complimented him for distracting the bad guys—which was totally not what he’d intended. More than a few thugs had called him ‘legs’—those guys ended up just a little more bruised than usual. Damian had said something along the lines of “It’s perfectly fine to be complimented on your shapely legs.” Jon was pretty sure that Damian hadn’t meant that as a compliment at all.

The most mortifying experience Jon had were with the bank robbers.

About half a dozen armed men with ski masks had decided to rob a local branch of the Metropolis Bank. Damian and Jon were on the scene, preparing to strike. Before they leapt up from the shadows, Damian had suggested they loudly announce their presence to unnerve the criminals. At the time, this sounded good to Jon. Of course, he’d assumed that Robin would be with him.

“Stop right there!” Jon bellowed. He stepped out of the shadows and onto the light, his short yellow cape billowing in the breeze. It took all of his willpower to stop his bare legs from shivering.

His appearance seemed to have had the intended effect—the three men loading bags of cash on a truck stopped abruptly to stare at him. The driver and two other lookouts came over to stare at him too. Despite their masks, their expressions were very obvious.

They were absolutely baffled.

“That’s right!” Jon declared. “You better stand down or my partner and I…” Jon glanced to his side and his voice died in his throat. Damian wasn’t beside him anymore. He was alone. He suddenly became very conscious of himself, and he tugged at the hem of his cape to cover his legs from the light.

Two of the thugs scratched their heads. One of them had his mouth open.

“Uh, I…I’m sorry I don’t know how to react to this,” said one of the robbers. He shook his head.

“Is that a kid in panties?” asked one of the men in confusion.

“What’s a cute little girl like you doing here?” asked the driver.

“I’m a boy!” Jon squeaked. His face flushed crimson.

“Oh geez, sorry. Well…shit, this is awkward,” the driver replied with utmost sincerity.

“Damn, boss, why’d you have to tease him? The little guy looks just about ready to cry,” one of the burlier men said. It annoyed Jon that the man sounded genuinely reproachful.

“I feel like I’m going to end up on some watchlist looking at him,” one of the men said.

“Idiot, we’re already wanted escapees from Blackgate,” chided another.

The thieves were at a loss—they awkwardly gaped at Jon with complete bewilderment. Somehow, that just amplified Jon’s irritation and embarrassment.

Suddenly, smokebombs erupted from the men’s feet, and Jon heard the unmistakable twang of metal wires coiling and snapping together. When the mist cleared, Damian was leaning on the van with a cocky grin, and every single robber was on the ground bound by tight metal wires—somehow, even the guy in the driver seat.

“What took you so long?” Jon snapped at Damian.

“I was waiting for the right time,” Damian shrugged. His cheeks were straining from the effort to contain his laughter. “Besides, your apparent cuteness was an effective ruse.”

Jon replied by elbowing Damian in the ribs.

“I don’t get it,” the robbers’ leader said from where he was bound on the floor. “Are exposed legs a new fad with the sidekicks these days?”

“Nooo! Gah, this sucks!” Jon huffed in frustration. He stormed off, looking more like a grumpy child than ever before.

“He lost a bet,” Damian explained.

The man nodded sympathetically.

***

An explosion roared in the eastern block of Metropolis’ Shuster District, and Damian and Jon raced to the scene. But when they got there, the battle was obviously over. They were met with a frantic scene of police officers scurrying around together with emergency crews. A few yards away, Superman was overseeing the police taking a man in green metallic armor inside a truck. Batman and Nightwing came over to the boys, and stopped dead in their tracks when they got a clear look at Jon’s clothes.

An awkward silence followed as the two men stared at the two boys. Dick broke the silence first.

“Hey, isn’t that mine…?”

Damian cleared his throat. “Father, we rushed here when we heard the explosion, is everything alright?”

Batman took a few seconds to find his voice—his glare was still alternating between Damian and Jon.

“A disturbance by Metallo—one of Clark’s old enemies. It’s been taken care of. Robin, why is Superboy—“

Bruce was interrupted by Clark’s arrival. He sensed that Clark was about to say something, but stopped mid-breath when he saw Jon in the green underpants and not much else. His expression radiated pure confusion, as if his face contorted to ask “Why?”

While Batman is known for never showing emotion, he was not above breathing an exasperated sigh. Jon, for his part, just about died from embarrassment. His cheeks were as red as his father’s cape, and his knees were shivering.

Damian suddenly sensed that all eyes were on him. He spread his arms apologetically.

“He lost a bet! He agreed to wear Grayson’s old outfit! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Dick got behind the two boys and wrapped his arms around their shoulders.

“Don’t worry, super dads, I got this.”

***

Dick, Damian and Jon were perched on a rooftop. The previous evening’s chill gave way to a humid haze that settled over lower Gotham.

“This is stupid,” Damian grumbled.

“No it’s not, Robin,” Dick said gently. “Consider this as training on how to observe teamwork and respect for your partner.”

“How is this supposed to teach me anything?” Damian demanded as he gestured at his outfit. He was wearing a zipped jacket with Superman’s ‘S’ logo, just like Jon. He sported red sneakers, and he didn’t have a mask on. Most aggravating of all, he was forced to wear denim shorts that were cut off above the knee. Damian thought it was utterly ridiculous.

“This,” Dick began explaining, “is your punishment for making Jon go through wearing my costume without my permission. Besides, Damian looks cuter with shorts, doesn’t he, Jon?”

The skyline’s bright lights reflected on Jon’s suddenly-pink cheeks. He didn’t look at either Dick or Damian.

“Well, I wouldn’t say it like that…” Jon said timidly.

“I swear, Kent. Not. A. Word.”

Damian jumped off the roof. Before Dick followed him, Jon could’ve sworn Dick gave him a wink.

Jon jumped off after them. He was sure that laughing at Damian didn’t need any words.

[selfawarenesscat1994]

accidental long post

i dont normally put trigger warnings but this post speaks a lot about food/binge eating. and i kinda just went off on one haha. talk of money.

im sitting in the office writing this at work cus my boss told me to do the holidays but im done but i need to vent, the store is abso quite and i just need some time to myself.

i have money! 

oh my god the relief. 

im still gonna be struggling til the end of this month but its not as bad as its been through jan which has been fucking HELL because ive obv been doing my manager job and having all this worry/stress ontop ov it.

i paid my rent +fee and i have enough to cover my bills! !!!!

i bought a bus pass but im gonna probably walk to work when the weather gets less horrible as i acctually didnt mind the walk after a while and i felt a lot fitter adding that exercise into my daily routine. before dropping out of uni, i got quite bad for being the type of person who would go to the gym once or twice a week and justify a lazy existence because of that. the bus is terrible but its the difference of walking 6 miles and being out of the house for like 12 hours a day or whatever and taking a 10 minute bus journey from straight outside my work almost to my front door. 

i ordered new earphones becus mine are not working. they were like 6 quid but so worth it. i went into my favourite cosmetic shop and got some nice stuff for my face as its got so flaky and dry and sore. i bought some new combs, not a great expense, no but the last thing on my list of cheap stuff when i didnt hve any money. my hair is short and tuggy and thisll help. i went into a cheaper cosmetics store and bought a lot of cheap shampoo/conditioner, sanitry products n whatnot. i never used to stockpile these so i ended up at the beginning of jan with nothing, i bought a cheap bar of soap for my body and used some of my flatmates stuff (but its expensive so i did it like once a week max). its so nice to have product. its something i never throught was something id miss cos theyre so essntial but i got to the point where i couldnt really afford them because i had bills going out and had to keep my money for other things.

the front door of the flat is drafty so i got the flat a draft exludor on the way. yay.

ive consumed more food/calories in the past day than i probably have in a couple of years - apart from at christmas. last night i bought a milkshake after work. it was thick and tasty and amazing. on my walk home i also bought a bottle of irn bru, which wasnt as good cus i forgot they changed the receipe but ive not drank fizzy drinks regularly in a 

i thought it was gonna be enough to fill me up but my body suddenly decided it really wanted to binge and treat myself.

i odered a med pizza with two sides and cookies when i got home from work. i just stuffed my face and ate it all. it was glorious. i went out with my flatmate a bit later and i bought quite a big shop with fresh food but also a lot of tinned/frozen things bcus i know i will be poor at the end of the month. i binged on salad items at like midnight. i ate two eggs, a whole freaking cucumber and pack of tomatoes, along with half a red pepper, a carrot, some spring onion and spinach. fresh food never felt so good. i had fruit and a bagel wiv creme cheese for my breakfast this morning. ive not had breakfast in about 6 months because when i started uni i got so stressed i couldnt eat in the morning and then i couldnt really afford to. and i gave myself some money today to get some lunch. i planned on buying one of those salad meal deals but i ended up at subway, i only got a 6 inch tough cos i think i may have died if i got anything bigger. i did however get 3 cookies on offer, ive only ate one as of yet but the other two are staring me down right now. i was so tempted to go to mcdonalds but i would have binged too hard. my poor stomach which i mentioned before had became a lot flatter probs due to lack of food/a lot of walking is so bloated.  i was wearing quite a loose fitting shirt to work and you can just see this big round boi now. customers will think im pregnant fuck me. but its a good bloat. but as i also mentioned ive gained a bit of weight and in the past 24 hours ive probably put on about a stone haha. i probably lost around three inches from my tummy in the past coupla months and now its about 6 inches rounder haha. 

i honestly dont regret it. i think if this was a regular thing and i did stuff like this a lot i would probably be different and feel horrible but it was great. i loved all this good food. 

im gonna go back to reasonable spending now/eating now. i have some spicy carrot soup i made a fortnight ago in the freezer so im gonna heat the rest of that up tonight for me and my flatmate, if i even feel up for eating and tomorrow i will probably enjoy a cheeky but healthy fruit salad for my working lunch.

sucks my brother took out a loan but im splitting his repayments and we can both afford to pay it off, im sure you can even pay it off wholly early (for a fee though) so i could even do that in a few months time cos i already know ill be due a tax refund, i paid so much tax @ my last jobs before i quit them for uni and ill be taxed here but i didnt earn over the threshold due to my break and il be due loadddss back, so we will see.

im gonna donate at the end of the month to some people on here, im not gonna really examine who ‘deserves it most’ and just do it randomly tbh. thanks to the people who donated to me, it e a lot but it did help as i mentioned before.

sidenote below

sidenote - i dont have an eating disorder. i just binged today and yesterday because ive not been able to enjoy the food i like. 

ive always had a bit of a weird relationship with food because ive never been thin and have had some disordered tendancies but nothing thats effected my overall health massively. ive been on countless diets thrughout my life. i dont particularly act like that anymore cos it can be dangerous. id only go on a ‘diet’ if my health was really bad, if i was terribly overweight or if another health condition made me alter my diet. ive also a lot of reckless times where ive just not thought about what ive eat... queue the time i ate a whole selection box and half a tub of ben and jerries for my lunch or the time i only ate a loaf and a half of bread in a day and though ‘ah this is enough calories its fine’. but i think thats moreso bpd. if ive been having a bad time with my mental health i wont care about whats being put in my body. but its not been driven through a desrie to be thinner/bigger ever.

 ive been poor recently and not been living on the best of foods (will probably explain why ive gained weight) but i have been mostly cooking from scratch using frozen meat/fish/veg and tined foods (thank god for bootstrap cooking, am i right???), on occasion i bought fresh veg or meat but thats it. the rest of the food i was eating when i was poor and well still will be eating for the next month was and i try to limit this because i know its really unhealthy has been instant ramen/noodles/soups/rice, breaded frozen meat and frozen garlic bread and chips. snackwise its been like those 10p packs of buiscuits and ive also been baking when i can mostly using my flatmates stuff. if my flatmate was making food and had excess id sometimes have some if she offered but thats been it.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Thinking about how... despite being a team of (almost) exclusively girls, Team Amazon's overarching subplots all revolve around the affections of men.

Courtney and Gwen have their "love triangle" with Duncan...

Heather has her rivalry with Alejandro...

Sierra has her obsession with Cody...

Why can't these girls have plotlines and character motivations that aren't based around men?

[total-drama-brainrot]

Taking the sleep cuddler Noah headcanon and running with it. He sleepwalks. He sleep talks. He sleep bakes. He sleep organises his wardrobe. He sleep studies for his sleep exams. He's the lead sleep singer in a slumber band. He sleep paints and donates his sleep art to the night museum. He teaches sleep theoretical physics at nap-time university to his snoodents (snooze students).

He's literally this video.

[total-drama-brainrot]

nowen playing up the world's funniest bit post world tour (assuming the og cast stays on playa des losers whilst roti is being filmed) and just not telling anyone they're dating. abusing the "best friends" card to get away with increasingly more pda until someone cracks.

it starts off with owen carrying noah around on his shoulders like a neck pillow for a whole day. no one bats an eye; noah's lazy and owen's too altruistic for his own good, nothing strange about buddies carrying their friends.

and then the two of them just start randomly hugging whenever they want. people brush it off when owen's the one doing the hugging, until noah just walks up to his loving bf and clings to him like a koala unprompted. probably takes a nap like that too. but everyone politely refuses to address their mutual clinginess because it's whatever, right? nothing outlandish about friends hugging.

one day, during one of the casts' shared meals, someone notices that noah's missing and points it out. noah's head pops out from owen's shirt collar, revealing he's sat with (on) his chubby buddy underneath his shirt. eyebrows are raised, but it's overlooked.

later on, noah smacks his massive forehead on the corner of a door or something and owen rushes over to kiss it better, then peppers his whole face in kisses to "heal his boo-boos". people are starting to question how platonic their friendship is, but remember that owen's just kind of like that sometimes as a disaster bi and let it slide.

but after this incident the two of them get more comfortable playfully kissing each other in public and everyone is too awkward to outright ask if they're /srs or /j.

they start calling each other increasingly ridiculous pet names- escalating from things like "little buddy" and "big guy", to the classic "honey" "babe" and "dear", to outlandish stuff like "my little rotisserie chicken" and "my darling malewife whom i love dearly" and "panzerkampfwagen viii maus". no one knows what to make of this.

it isn't until heather gets fed up with everyone's hesitance to address the subject and corners the two for answers (she strikes me as the type of person to be super direct when asking for tea to be spilled) that the pair turn and nod sagely to each other. owen explains "we're married for tax benefits." noah laughs so hard he passes out.

[total-drama-brainrot]

the thing about (the most prevalent) noah ships is that he's paired with exclusively powerful girlbosses and/or cringefail men.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Harold makes a YouTube channel based around being an alpha male but his skewered idea of what an "alpha" is just makes it seem like his whole deal is being a satirical parody of the hypermasculine bigoted community that congregates under the term. He hits 1 million subscribers in record time because people think he's hilarious. He's being dead serious.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Assistant Noah AU, since Noah isn't a contestant, Ezekiel takes Noah's place as a member of Team Chris...

Ezekiel doesn't lose the stick, so there's no eliminations in the Egyptian Episode...

Ezekiel had become Lindsay's and Beth's platonic BFF, and now has a new better respect for women...

Ezekiel is also a bit smarter, and somehow sees through Alejandro's tricks...

How would Alejandro honestly feel about Ezekiel? 😉

I'll take any oppertunity to "save" Ezekiel from his canon treatment, and having him substitute onto Team Chris in Noah's place is a great idea.

But I don't think Alejandro would like him at all.

You've got to understand; Ezekiel is the equivalent of a very misguided, very lost puppy. He's not exactly sure what's going on at the best of times, and after Island his response to the culture shock between his homelife and his life on reality TV is to adopt a fake "cool" personality from whatever pop culture he's managed to consume... which only serves to make him more insufferable to the people around him than his clueless farmboy demeanour ever did.

Had he retained his pre-Total Drama personality and naivety, then Alejandro would tolerate him, if only as an exploitable pawn (much like Tyler). But it's repeatedly shown in canon that Ezekiel is unpleasent to be around by design. He's talkative and outspoken at the worst times, oftentimes with opinions that aren't exactly palatable, he doesn't understand the concept of personal space and acceptable social behaviour, he smells bad, ect ect. Pair this with him mimicking the stereotypical "rapper" demeanour, and you have the perfect foil for Alejandro's nice guy act.

Because Alejandro is very many things, but patient isn't one of them. At least, not in the context of being around people who annoy him. Just look at his canon relationship with Owen; if he couldn't stand to be around Owen of all people, then he'd really hate Ezekiel.

That's not to say that I think Ezekiel is a hateable character. Quite the opposite, really. He's so interesting to think about from a writer's standpoint, since he has a surprising amount of characterisation for a character who spends the majority of his screentime feral and non-verbal. Just enough to base characterisation on, and just little enough to expand upon in whatever way you'd like and not have it feel out of character.

In the given scenario, I'd have him form a friendship with Owen and and Izzy (by this point in the series he's been educated on how his father's mindset is very outdated and toxic, so he's more than happy to befriend a girl). The two of them aren't concerned with things like "coolness" and social acceptability, which would be a huge part of Zeke's character arc in this season - learning how to accept himself for himself, instead of trying to conform to his skewered perspective of what the media deems "hip".

Pairing this with the somewhat limited but amicable relationship he shares with Lindsay on Team Victory, and the intangiable but nonetheless just as impactful influence of Beth who's stuck on the Aftermath, and suddenly Ezekiel has a whole support system of genuinely kind people who can and will help him learn the ropes of modern society. (Give Ezekiel Friends 2k24‼️)

A direct contrast to Alejandro, who's whole deal is presenting himself as a perfect, infalliable person who doesn't really form any friendships. (Unless you count Heather and maybe Courtney?)

See here's where the two of them play the role of "contrasting narritive foil" for each other. Alejandro and Ezekiel are both fueled by their need to prove themselves by winning, but their methodology is entirely different; Alejandro's game plan is to be as fake and perfect as possible whilst sabotaging the competition and inadvertantly isolating himself, and Ezekiel is just doing his best to play fair whilst learning how to be the most authentic version of himself in the proccess with the help of his friends. (Something something the power of friendship...)

Something to note here: Both of them are trying to prove themselves to their families. Alejandro's trying to prove he can be more than second place (to José, or just in general), and Ezekiel is trying to prove that he can withstand the challenges of the world outside of his family's farm (which he never got the chance to, given he was the first boot of the previous two seasons).

As for Ezekiel being "smarter" and seeing through Alejandro's tricks; I'd like to veto that idea and offer you this instead.

Ezekiel has gullibility and naivety practically woven into the threads of his character, so of course he'd be in the same boat as Owen and Tyler. That is to say, he'd initially be one of Alejandro's most staunch defenders, since he doesn't have the intelligence or the instincts to see past his fake exterior, as Ezekiel isn't worldly enough to know how to spot a fake.

And that's exactly what causes Alejandro's downfall.

As stated before, Ezekiel is annoying by design. Pair his enthusiasm with an idolisation towards Alejandro (for being an objectively strong competitor, or whatever reason you want) and you've got the perfect recipe for Alejandro to blow up at Ezekiel once his already negligable patience snaps. Probably in a scene similar to the confrontation he has with Owen in the Amazon.

All of a sudden, Ezekiel has seen Alejandro's true colours and the rose-tinted glasses he's been blinded by come shattering to the ground - and the knowledge that's been painstakingly imparted onto him by Lindsay and Beth comes into play. Alejandro is a bad guy, just like Zeke's dad.

From then on, Ezekiel is hesitant around Alejandro. Quiet, uncharacteristically so. The sight of unapologetically loud and obtuse Ezekiel being subdued (scared?) of Alejandro has the other contestants beginning to question his performative geniality. If Zeke of all people doesn't trust him, it must be a bad sign.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Noah is canonically the youngest of eight sibling. Eight.

You don't grow up in a family that large, as the youngest and therefore the favourite victim, and not have a super casual relationship with touch.

This guy is light enough to be literally blown away by a strong breeze; if you think even for a second that his family didn't take turns carrying him around like a briefcase and abducting him from whatever he was doing into a Family Pile™ then you're objectively wrong.

(You also can't convince me that he wasn't spoiled rotten as the baby of the family.)

So frequent platonic touching is pretty normal for him, expected even, and he tends to be more tactile than his personality or demeanour would suggest.

He gives Owen side-hugs and pats on the arm every time the two interact, and wilfully flops himself onto Eva whenever he's overwhelmed and wants the company of someone comparatively quiet (she always uses it as an excuse to carry him to the gym and encourage him to bulk up, though it never works). He tries to tire out Izzy's boundless energy by play-fighting and grappling with her (much to his chagrin) despite him essentially ending up as her glorified chew toy, and often times passes out due to being a stick insect in human form.

It's unexpected, just how casually clingy he is to the people he trusts/likes.

But you know who isn't used to physical contact?

Cody E.J. "my parents forgot my birthday" Anderson

This wet noodle of a boy bigs himself up as a ladies' man and a hot commodity but wouldn't know what to do with himself if someone held his hand. The concept of affection of any kind is so foreign to him, especially positive physical contact- I wouldn't be surprised if he could count the amount of hugs his parents had given him on one hand.

And this is backed by his canonical desperation for acknowledgement! Every time he pursues Gwen, even when he's directly shot down and sometimes harshly rejected, he still tries to win her affections and festers the delusion that she likes him. After all, everyone who's supposed to care about him does the same! His parents, 'friends' or lack thereof, ect.; they all ignore/rebuff him so it must be a sign of endearment.

Additionally, he sleeps with a stuffed emu at the ripe age of 16/17- as stated by Sierra, which he never denies (not that there's anything wrong with that, stuffed animals are top tier imho). You know who else sleeps with stuffed animals? Touch-starved people.

Cody is incredibly attention-starved, touch-starved and, post World Tour, in all likelihood somewhat touch-averse- at least when it comes to other people initiating contact.

To elaborate; Sierra is constantly breaching his personal bubble non-consensually, which would inadvertently condition anyone into being at least a little haphephobic, but Cody himself is more than happy to instigate contact with people he trusts (i.e. hugging Alejandro when he protects Cody from Sierra overnight in Rapa Phooey!).

...See where I'm going with this?

We see these two cuddling twice in canon; once in the Awake-a-thon and again in the Celebrity Manhunt. Once is happenstance, but twice indicates a pattern or coincidence but I'm going to gloss over that for the sake of this post.

Plus, with their consistent proximity during Action, they had plenty of time to form some type of relationship be it friendly or more.

(Wouldn't you want to at the very least get some closure from the guy who kissed you/you kissed for the world to see? It would be awkward to completely ignore each other, and they literally shared a cabin at one point so it's not like they were strangers either. So of course they're at least cordial from Action onwards.)

Then, as Noah becomes more comfortable around Cody, his tactile tendancies come to play.

Cody, predictably, reacts skittishly at the alien phenomenon known as friendly touch and tries to play it off to preserve his cool-guy image. Except Noah's not falling for it. He's observant, if emotionally illiterate, and watching the guy you just backpatted in greeting jump five feet into the air and screech like a falcon is a flashing red alarm for even the most empathetically challenged people.

Eventually, Noah gets Cody to divulge his issues with human contact and offers his assistance to the brunette. If giving his pal a hug every now and then, and letting him in turn initiate whatever he's comfortable with, would help him overcome his rocky relationship with touch then Noah is more than happy to oblige. It's not like it's out of the norm for him, so he doesn't mind at all.

Then, gradually, Cody loses his touch aversion.

But a lifetime of isolation won't be magically cured that easily, and he finds himself craving Noah's embrace more and more. Again, the taller of the two is content to give him what he wants. Their agreement evolves into the duo napping together and feeding into Noah's sleep-hugging habit, or just spending quality time in a heap of pretzeled limbs under a weighted blanket.

(Whether their relationship is platonic or romantic is entirely up to interpretation, though I'm partial to the two being friends who are just Like That since it allows for the funniest potential character interactions. The bromance is real.)

That's as good a place as any to end the post, before I end up writing a whole drabble.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Total Drama World Tour Assistant Noah AU…

Heather tries to flirt with Assistant Noah to make Alejandro jealous…

Alejandro flirts with Assistant Noah even harder…

(Assistant Noah is trying to get his work done, while they’re both kissing his face…)

Assistant Noah: “Shouldn’t you two focus on winning the million dollars?” -///-

Alenoaheather my beloved. This is pretty much just that one fake dating AU but with assistant Noah, which is great! Though I don't really have much to add here that hasn't been explored in those reblog chains and/or fanfiction.

I highly reccomend reading Lovers and Fools by HenkePenke if you're into this ship! The whole Alejandro/Heather/Noah tag on Ao3 is just chock-full of fantastic fics by amazing authors!

[total-drama-brainrot]

How firmly do you believe in Noah's ability to copy voices?

I have seen people make him be able to copy other contestants voices and mimicking them to a point it feels uncanny to the other contestants.

My point? P! Noah would definitely use that to his advantage. I just think that was a cool concept so here. :)

Anon I need you to understand that I've already used that exact concept in one of my fics. Like, it was an integral part of the first chapter of said fic. (And one that I regret not using more, since it's such a fun concept to play with. My drafts are full of different scenarios using this exact premise.)

I believe whole-heartedly in giving Noah weird party trick abilities and other "obscure" talents like vocal mimicry - but only when he uses them in the most unhelpful ways possible.

Mostly because he's kind of lacking when it comes to his viability as a contestant in the show; most of his competitors are either physically gifted to make up for their mental/emotional shortcomings (i.e. Eva, Izzy, Courtney, Sierra, ect.), intentionally or unintentionally adept at playing the social aspect of the game (Alejandro, Justin kind of, Owen, Lindsay, ect), or have some sort of character gimmick that benefits them in the competition (Harold's... Harold-ness, Izzy's wildcard energy). Noah doesn't have that. It's actually kind of impressive just how useless Noah is in terms of the competition, since he's supposed to be one of the smartest characters in the show but his slothful nature prevents him from actually utilizing this.

My answer? Have Noah use that big brain of his to develop and cultivate weird talents that end up being somewhat useful. Like the ability to mimic voices. And his canonical hacking abilities that he never uses in the main series.

In terms of p!Noah, I'm actually on the fence on giving him the same ability. Mostly because he's already got both canon Noah's smarts and the physical prowess to make him a competitive threat, even if he still maintains the same apathy towards the competition itself. He isn't really focused on winning the competition itself, but his innate skillset makes him a pretty big threat regardless, especially if he ever decides to shift his focus from self entertainment to trying to win. Giving him extra abilities on top of his established skillset just seems like overkill.

But. One of the core aspects of p!Noah's character is his prankster-type nature, which is mostly a result of him trying to stave off his perpetual boredom by pulling pranks and jokes on his competitors. In very much the same vein that canon Noah throws jabs and barbed comments at his castmates, p!Noah instead plots and schemes different ways to make them suffer for his entertainment (whilst also throwing out jabs an barbed comments). It wouldn't exactly be out of character for him to commit himself to learning how to copy voices just for the sake of tormenting people.

Especially if he's using said talent before the "reveal".

Could you imagine the kind of shit p!Noah could stir just by using someone else's voice? He's got the same unnoteworthy background character benefits as canon Noah for the first season- barring Izzy's immediate attention as a fellow person of flimsy sanity- so he'd be able to blend seamlessly into the background and gather information on the more vocal campers, stuff he'd easily be able to twist and recontextualise in the earshot of others; for his own benefit, sure, but p!Noah wouldn't care about using this for his own standing in the game so much as his own amusement.

It'd be more in character for him to use Gwen's voice to make an off-handed comment about how he thinks guys who play guitar are "trying too hard" or something, coincidentally when Trent himself is near enough to overhear, just to watch their will-they-won't-they song and dance crumble under the strain of Trent's insecurity. (Which could either help or hinder Heather's later stunt, which takes advantage of that same insecurity.)

There's a nearly endless well of opportunity when it comes to fucking around with vocal mimicry and p!Noah would cherish that fact.

Or maybe he'd wait for Heather and Leshawna to get into another argument during one of the Gopher's challenges, more specifically for them to end an argument and walk away from each other in a huff, only to chime in with Heather's voice,

"Ugh, what a bitch."

Just loud enough for the two of them to hear and consequently react to; Leshawna, of course, with reignited outrage and Heather with gobsmacked confusion. Leshawna would immediately confront Heather about the comment, and only get more mad when Heather denies saying it- despite it being in her voice. Meanwhile, Noah watches the two of them taunt each other into a bigger confrontation with the added benefit of the rest of their team scrambling to diffuse the situation (and get back on task for whatever challenge they're supposed to be doing).

[total-drama-brainrot]

When my cat is misbehaving, I threaten to give her hugs and kisses, until she runs and hides, so... TD Noah AU, where the ONLY thing that can truly scare Noah is getting hugged, kissed and shown affection in public... When Noah tries to skip the dodgeball challenge, Owen (his best friend) playfully threatens to cuddle Noah on the sidelines, unless Noah helps the team... Noah quickly agrees to help with a grumpy blush on his face... Alejandro thinks that this fact is hilarious! 😸

I can see this. Noah's got a reputation to uphold, after all. A reputation of being an insufferable know-it-all asshole, sure, but it's a reputation none the less. Letting people know that he likes being hugged? Mortifying. His worst fear- it goes against His Brand™.

Him being afraid of PDA, platonic romantic or otherwise, is a pretty funny idea when you consider the fact that his best friend Owen is more-or-less infamous for dragging people into his arms at the drop of a dime. He lives under the constant threat of an Owen-brand hug attack, anywhere, anytime, and that fact terrifies him.

Actually, in this scenario, I think Owen would be a little more conservative with his clinginess concerning Noah - he's not that inconsiderate, and he'd know that Noah's not a fan of public affection (but secretly just as much of a hugger as he is). Not that he's be any less tactile, he'd just be quicker to apologise for unthinkingly showing his best buddy his affections.

To bring it back to the Dodgebrawl episode:

By this point in the series, Noah and Owen have shared a cabin for (assumedly) six nights and had around a week to build their friendship. They're not as close as they are in World Tour, but that's more than enough time for Noah to know about Owen's cuddliness and, in turn, for Owen to know about Noah's physical evasiveness.

But, at this point I think Owen would be under the impression that Noah's entirely touch averse as opposed to just PDA averse. It's during this challenge that his initial assumption starts to shift towards the truth.

Owen notices that Noah's refusal to participate is getting him some negative attention from the rest of the team, and in a moment of quick thinking volunteers himself as the next person to sit out before Noah can make his "keeners" comment. Noah's a little ticked off by this, and tries to argue that Owen would be a more useful team member then him, but Owen comments something about Noah needing to get some team spirit via "motivational hugs" (or something along those lines) and suddenly Noah is very much okay with not going anywhere near Owen or the benches.

Curiously, Owen notices, Noah hesitates at his offer for a hug. For a moment he looked almost considerate, before his face flushes with embarrassment (which he staunchly denies afterwards, since Noah's adamant that he doesn't get embarrassed) and he vehemently denies needing one, quickly resigning himself to actually helping the team instead. It's just enough to get the cogs turning in Owen's mind; apparently, hugs work as negative reinforcement for Noah.

Owen's more than happy to abuse this fact to prompt Noah into actually trying during challenges. Talent show? Owen subtly threatens to hug Noah unless he, at the very least, tries to showcase a talent. Phobia Factor? Owen offers moral support via affection to motivate Noah into facing his phobia (whatever it may be) and the threat of being publicly coddled is enough to have Noah disregard his fear entirely and complete the challenge. Ect ect.

Owen has his suspicions, but things aren't cleared up for him until after Island is over and done with. Wherein Owen confronts Noah about the quirk he's pick up on, and Noah- now reassured that his every action isn't being recorded and potentially broadcast for the world to see- admits that he actually kind of likes being hugged, but doesn't like public displays of affection. It's a secret he'd only share with his best friend. So Owen promises to keep quiet about it (which as we all know isn't something Owen's very good at, but he tries his best) and resolves to save the majority of his tactile-ness for when they're in private.

Leading to World Tour, where Owen utilises this same trick he used in Island to have Noah pull his weight on the team. Like he's a border collie wrangling the world's grumpiest sheep.

Alejandro's quick to pick up on this repeated exchange, and quicker to connect the dots. Somehow, the threat of affection seems to motivate their laziest team mate into picking up his slack; of course he too takes advantage of this fact.

Noah, understandably, is pretty pissed off that two of his team members are now using his completely rational aversion towards PDA against him, and eventually snaps.

If it's Owen who tests his last line of patience, Noah would be a little more considerate in his confrontation. He'd ask why Owen's so intent on trying to smother him to death with hugs (especially when he knows that Noah doesn't like the public aspect of it), to which Owen would sheepishly answer that, whilst he's always been a pretty physically affectionate guy, he's also been using the threat of cuddles to motivate Noah into trying his best. Noah would be torn between being genuinely impressed by Owen's cunning and absolutely mortified that he's been playing into his best friend's scheme for so long. And Owen would reassure him that there's nothing for him to be embarrassed about and that he knows that Noah's "afraid of PDA" and Noah would outright deny that accusation because he's not afraid of PDA, that's absurd, he's just reasonably against it.

To which Owen would challenge him into proving he's not afraid, because he's a little shit who's intentionally tricking his best friend into giving him a goddamn hug. Which works, of course, since Noah's pretty prideful and wouldn't take an attack against his ego sitting down (which is something we see in his boy kissing denials in Haute Camp-ture), so Noah ends up being the one to initiate a hug with his chubby buddy. And Owen takes the opportunity to literally smother him in affection, and Noah quickly forgets his hesitance in his enjoyment of Owen-brand cuddles, at least until someone else walks in on the display and comments on the novelty of Noah actually letting someone else touch him.

The scene can play out however you want from there.

If it's Alejandro who breaks Noah's last straw the confrontation would be a little less cordial , Since Noah and Owen already have an understanding between them, whilst Alejandro just sort of jumped on the band wagon as he saw fit. Noah wouldn't appreciate the sudden change in behaviour and he's sharp enough to know exactly what Alejandro's playing at too- that is, using Noah's obvious aversion to PDA against him. It's a coin toss as to whether Noah figures out that both Owen and Alejandro are playing him, or if he just thinks that Alejandro is being a dick for the sake of, well, being a dick.

In this scenario, I imagine Noah either recoiling away from Alejandro trying to do something that just pushes the boundary between casual and overly friendly, like a one-armed hug or trying to hold his hand, and/or outright punching him away. Because he's not about that energy, and Alejandro's been testing both his boundaries and his patience for far too long.

So Noah would put his foot down, demanding to know why Alejandro keeps being so tactile with him. And Alejandro would in turn explain that he's just a touchy person, since he's shown a tendency for such in his many flirting attempts, and Noah would immediately call his bullshit because he knows that Alejandro only ever gets up close and personal with other people when he's trying to seduce them and- wait.

Is Alejandro trying to seduce him?

To which Alejandro immediately denies, because that really wasn't his intention at all, he was just utilizing Noah's avoidance towards physical touch to motivate him into being a better teammate- and he's just admitted his (and Owen's) whole scheme to the guy himself. As a result Noah is even more upset; not only is Alejandro making him uncomfortable, but he's knowingly doing so. As a strategy for the competition they're in.

Again, a small part of him is astounded by the play, but for the most part Noah's just incredibly pissed off. Alejandro tries to mitigate the situation by turning the absurdity on it back at Noah; why is he so against something as negligible as human contact? His prickliness is a detriment to himself and their team, Alejandro's simply doing him a favour by getting him accustomed to others' proximity. Is Noah really that scared of a hug?

And again, it plays out like the Owen situation where Noah denies being scared at all, because he's far too prideful for his own good, and Alejandro challenges him into letting himself be held and not punching him again because Alejandro is also too prideful for his own good and sees Noah's constant rejection of him as a direct insult to his charm.

Cue a scene where Noah irately subjects himself to actually hugging Alejandro as petulantly as possible, only for his secret love of physical affection to get the better of him.

Alejandro is surprised, to say the least, when the stiff and uncooperative form of Noah seems to melt in his arms after a few moments of their spite-fuelled hug. Thus Alejandro becomes the next victim of the Noahla Bear- a creature hellbent on trapping others in his vice-like embrace.

(And as a treat, maybe add in some touch-starved Alejandro here? Who's torn between the internal battle of "I should be doing something productive with this free time, not letting the resident twink cuddle me to death" and "yeah, but have you considered the fact that you've never felt this safe and secure in someone else's arms since you weren't held as a child?")

[total-drama-brainrot]

I envision p!noah being like little buddy from the splatoon series

Owen throws him at people and he will bite them until they shake him off or go unconscious whichever is first

Will also probably dig stuff out of the ground that he can just detect for whatever reason

Apologies, I got splatoon brainrot really hard and all I think of when I hear “little buddy” is that little bastard salmon

I really need to play Splatoon 3. I love that series but I just haven't had the time or energy to get into the newest game.

And you're spot on there about p!Noah being Owen's little buddy, especially post "reveal".

-

In Greece, these two would make a killer duo for the wrestling challenge since Owen could and would just scoop up Noah and throw him at the opposing team, encouraging him to run wild. And, oh boy, can p!Noah go wild.

Now, both Courtney and Sierra are pretty overconfident in their assured win for this challenge, since Courtney assumes that Noah and Owen are both relatively harmless (since she didn't witness the bus scene) and Sierra's too hyped up on Defending Cody Juice to really care about who she's facing off against - her main priority here is taking our Courtney for disrespecting Cody. Which is their downfall, since when Noah's launched towards the pair like a missile by Owen, neither of them anticipate the sheer carnage he wreaks upon landing. The two of them come out of the challenge with cuts and bruises aplenty, scattered bite and scratch marks still bleeding sluggishly as they scamper out of the ring tailed by a manic bookworm hot on their heels.

Courtney especially never would've thought the little guy had it in him; the wildness of his eyes and the shine of blood against razor-sharp teeth really painted a picture of a feral beast, as opposed to the generally well-kept and mild cynic she'd come to know. She finds herself genuinely fearing for her wellbeing, at least for a moment.

Then, as the girls exit the ring, Noah stops suddenly. He comes to a standstill at the edge of the ring, centimetres away from disqualifying himself, and all signs of his unhinged mania vanish like smoke. Noah lifts himself from the near four-limbed scampering he'd been doing into his usual nonchalant crouch, brushing the dust from his vest, patting down his hair and (reluctantly) wiping the speckles of blood from his nails and teeth. Regaining his usual composure. Then he turns on his heels to saunter across the ring back over to Owen, who at this point is used to Noah's scarily quick code-switching and greets his carnage-wreaking little buddy with a smile, a thumbs up and a big ol' hug! They won the challenge, after all, that's means for celebration!

(When Gwen comes back from her challenge, she asks Courtney what savage animal she was attacked by - as both Courtney and Sierra look about as worse off as Duncan, who was mauled by a bear - and Courtney promptly answers that she doesn't want to talk about it.)

-

I imagine Owen and Noah's dynamic post-London would essentially be the two of them acting like a dog owner and their overzealous puppy, but they switch roles so often the lines get super blurred. One moment Noah's trying to bribe Owen into taking the fall for him with the sweet treats from first class (it works every time), the next Owen's daring Noah to do something dumb and stupid and just dangerous enough to pique his thrill-seeking interest. They share a braincell and neither of them use it.

[total-drama-brainrot]

ideal nowen dynamic.

[total-drama-brainrot]

Saw this somewhere and wanted to throw it your way, sorry if you’ve been asked this before but what do you think of the concept of Noah always having been an assistant (even before the first season)/never playing as a contestant would look like?

The thing about Noah as a contestant is that he's, for all intents and purposes, kind of useless. And by that I mean Noah as a character isn't important to the plot at all in the grand scheme of things. He's barely important from an episodic point of view either; Noah does very little throughout Total Drama in terms of story relevance, and just in general. (Lazy king 👑.)

So taking him out of the equation wouldn't really affect too much in the grand scheme of things, save for probably preventing his friendship with Owen and, from a fanon standpoint, the rest of team E-scope. He'd be pretty much the same person, just behind the camera instead of on it.

But that's kind of a boring answer, and not at all what you were looking for, right?

So, let's say that Noah lands himself a job working as the personal assistant for some hot-shot A-list celebrity through one of his many siblings' various contacts; is it nepotism? Probably. But who's Noah to look a gift horse in the mouth? A fairly easy job following some pretentious asshole around all day and grabbing him the occasional coffee sounds like a pretty sweet gig, especially with the salary and various benefits that come with the job description. So Noah takes the job without question.

And that's how he finds himself stuck in the middle of nowhere, Muskoka, on an undisclosed island owned by said A-lister whilst he films the first season of his new Reality TV show, Total Drama Island.

Being Chris' personal assistant was supposed to be an easy pay check. "Supposed to be" being the point of interest there; Noah didn't anticipate Chris being as sadistic or as childishly needy as he was. If he wasn't running around like a headless chicken trying to accommodate for Chris' oftentimes outlandish whims and fancies, he was stuck answering to the producers in the host's stead- and the producers were pissed with Chris more often than not for his frivolous use of the show's budget. Something about having a genius level IQ and enough snark to make grown men cry apparently made him qualified enough to deal with the industry big-wigs. Noah was far too overworked to question it.

So much for an easy pay check.

Noah's not bad at his job by any means. In his professional opinion, the whole show and Chris' career would be in the dumps without his personal input keeping everything afloat. That doesn't mean he doesn't loathe his job with every sleep-deprived inch of his being.

And, inevitably, Noah ends up spending a lot of time around the campers themselves. Mostly as a consequence of always having to remain "on set" so to speak, since Noah's pretty much contractually obligated to linger around Chris' vicinity and wait for his boss to assign him some menial task to do. Most of the campers are just as egocentric and insufferable as he'd first assumed- and honestly, what else would he expect from people who singed up for a Reality TV show?- but a select few turn out to be decent company; namely Owen and Eva (and Izzy, but Noah refuses to admit that the "Psycho Hose Beast" is actually bearable to be around).

He'd even go so far as to claim they were friends good acquaintances.

Of course, his job takes precedent over frivolous things like relationships, platonic or otherwise, so Noah doesn't exactly have the free time to hang out with them. Which is probably for the best considering if he did spend a lot of time around his friends acquaintances, the other contestants would have a solid enough foundation for accusations of foul play in the competition, and that's a headache Noah really doesn't want to deal with.

Consequently, Noah floats through the filming of Island, and later on Action, maintaining cordiality with his little group and cold indifference towards pretty much the rest of the cast. Not that he doesn't keep close tabs on the campers; of course he does, not only is Noah incredibly observant by nature, but he's also the one in charge of accommodating for these weirdos... plus, Chris is oddly invested in his "prize cast of ratings jewels", whatever that means. So Noah knows these people, probably more than some of them know themselves, thanks to a combined sixteen-ish weeks of observation and forced proximity.

In turn, the competitors know of Noah, though for the most part he's regarded as little more than a spectre on set- Chris' elusive personal assistant who the cast will occasionally see the barest glimpse of, usually hidden behind an impassive pair of mirrored sunglasses and, more often than not, rushing off to do whatever it is a PA does. Chris does get a little lazy in Action and on a few occasions does get Noah to make a "guest appearances" on screen- mostly just to deliver him a coffee and a gluten free muffin during the downtime of that day's challenge- but he's still practically non-existent to he majority of the cast.

Which is fine by him.

What isn't fine by him is the surprise addition of two people he knows nothing about, come the third season.

One of those contestants happens to know a lot about the cast, and a concerning amount of information about him. It's uncanny, just how much Sierra seems to know about everyone around her, even more so because of the way she practically worships the ground they walk on. Sure, Noah's encountered the odd super fan here and there- not fans of himself, of course, but in this time as Chris' assistant he's had to chase off more than enough rabid fans from trying to sneak their way onto the set of whatever show Chris was working on (or more accurately sic the on-scene security on them)- but Sierra's brand of crazy takes it to a whole new level. Noah doesn't like her on principle and is both incredibly vindicated and incredibly concerned when her stalkerish behaviour rears its ugly head. Not that he's allowed to do anything about it; the producers are adamant that Sierra's outlandish behaviour is entertaining enough for the audience to ignore the immorality, and given how much Chris has been allowed to get away with in the past Noah's inclined to begrudgingly agree.

And the other new contestant? The one who qualified for the apparently non-existent Total Drama Dirtbags (and Noah totally isn't salty about that show being an elaborate ruse that he spent countless sleepless nights working on)? Noah's just as concerned about his friends acquaintances ignorance to Alejandro's inherent sliminess as he is about Sierra's blatant disregard for others' privacy, but again it's not like he can do anything about it. He's not even supposed to be on the show, so any sort of interference would be a big no-no.

Oh, what's that? They want him on the show?

Fuck.

Turns out, Noah's brief appearances during Action (characterised by his usual level of sass and snide comments) really resonated with their audience; they like him for some inexplicable reason, and want to see more of "Noah, Chris McLean's mysterious personal assistant".

So he's pretty much forced into acting as a co-host of sorts, much like Chef had done for the first two seasons, all whilst carrying out his usual tasks. Is he happy about this? Not a chance in hell, and he lets the producers know exactly how he feels about the sudden change in his contract. Not that it changes anything.

And the best part? World Tour is a musical themed season. If they expect him to sing, they've got another thing coming.

But, as a small part of him chimes in, spending more time on camera would give Noah plenty of opportunities to spend time with his friends acquaintances. There's a non-zero chance that he could have fun, even if it's at the expense of his valued privacy.

His new status as part of the show does allow Noah some opportunities to skew the competition in the favour of his friends acquaint- no, screw it, his friends. That's one silver lining of the whole situation.

Better yet, he can tilt things out of Alejandro's favour, since the former Dirtbag seems to have a knack for manipulating the competition anyway- Noah might as well make things more challenging for him, as it seems this game is too easy for him thus far.