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neverending2012 · 8 years

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My Journey To You Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

SUMMARY: Abby bonds with Matt and Lucy when she returns home from the ball; Sam and Mercedes enjoy a romantic night; Rachel and Finn face the struggles of her illness and issues come to light.

RATING: Mature

WARNING: Cursing, sexual situations

KITCHEN WALTZ

When they got home and Sam unlocked the door, Abby was surprised to see the light from the television on in the living room.

"I wonder who's up?" she asked Sam.

"Let's see," he said.

They went into the living room and found Mercedes, Matt, and Lucy asleep on the couch; Matt laid across the couch, his mouth slightly open and drooling, his head resting on Mercedes' lap, and Lucy was snuggled up to her side, her head was on her shoulder; and each had an afghan covering them. Mercedes was softly snoring, a green satin nightcap was on her head.

Sam looked at Abby, put his finger to his lips, and tiptoed over to the couch, he leaned down and said in Mercedes' ear:

"Better wake up now. Your husband will be home soon. Can't let him catch us."

Mercedes woke up, her eyes flew open and she gazed up at Sam, shaking her head and laughing.

"Samuel Emmanuel Hummel, you know better than that," she said.

He kissed her.

"You decide to have a slumber party?"

By now both Matt and Lucy were awake, rubbing their eyes. They smiled and Lucy said:

"We were waiting up for you."

Abby was touched.

"You didn't have to do that," she said, "But I'm glad you did."

Mercedes opened her arms.

"Come here baby."

Abby fell into her embrace; Mercedes hugged her tight.

"I'm always going to wait up for you, so get used to it."

Sam smiled down at them.

"We had a wonderful time tonight and we took tons of pictures."

"It was great," Abby said.

"Your eyes are shining and you look gorgeous; I'm so happy that you had a good time. But now the carriage is a pumpkin, and it's time to go to bed," Mercedes said, as she rubbed Abby's back, "You can tell us all about it tomorrow."

Abby pulled back and said:

"Can't I stay up a little while longer? I'm not sleepy. I've never been up this late before."

"Yeah, I want to hear about the ball," Lucy said, stretching her arms.

"I don't want to go back to bed," Matt said.

"What do you think, Sam?" Mercedes asked.

"Well… it is a special occasion and the kids don't have to get up early tomorrow. So how about this? You guys can stay up for thirty more minutes, I'll set the timer on my phone. If you're not upstairs and in bed by 1:00, I'm coming down to get you."

Mercedes was confused.

"We aren't staying down here with them?" she asked.

"No, I'm plumb tuckered out and so are you," Sam said, taking her by the hand and gently pulling her up from the couch, holding her close.

"I am?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hummel you are."

He kissed her again, this time much longer than before, savoring the moment with her, letting his lips linger before pulling away:

"See how tired you are?" he said.

She nodded, a little breathless.

"I'm suddenly overcome with fatigue."

Sam chuckled.

"That's what I thought," he said and turned to the kids and said: "Thirty minutes or I'm coming down here. Make sure you turn off all the lights and the TV too."

"Yes, Sam," Abby said and gave him a hug, and he leaned down, lifted her chin, and kissed her forehead.

"Goodnight, Abby," he said, his eyes getting misty, "My darling daughter, I'm so proud of you. I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam and Mercedes gave Lucy and Matt goodnight hugs and kisses too, and told them they loved them, and then they went upstairs, leaving the kids alone in the living room. Abby spun around, making her dress float out around her, and laughed out loud.

"I had so much fun tonight!"

Lucy grabbed her hands and the two twirled together.

"I can tell, you're all jumpy and happy."

"Let's get something to eat," Matt said, "I'm hungry."

They stopped twirling and Abby suddenly remembered the fancy treats.

"I've got sweets and sodas and juice."

"Really? How?" Matt said

"I took stuff from the ball, and I had Sam take all the drinks and stuff from the limo."

She picked up her purse, the goody bag from the ball, and the bag of drinks from the limo from off of the floor.

"Come on, let's go to the kitchen."

When they went to the kitchen, Abby took out the Ziploc bags full of treats that were stuffed in her purse and spread them out on the kitchen table.

"Some are smushed," she said.

"Who cares? I love éclairs," Matt said, picking up one of the bags and taking out a smashed éclair that was leaking a bit of vanilla cream. He took a bite.

"Hmmm, this is so good," he said.

Lucy got three glasses out of the cupboard and filled them with ice; then poured sprite into two glasses and sprite and apple juice in the third glass; she garnished the drinks with maraschino cherries, stuck in a green squiggle straw into each one, and set them on the table.

"I gave you extra cherries," she said, sliding one of the drinks toward Matt; it had four cherries floating on top of the bubbling soda.

"Thanks, Luce," Matt said, taking another bite of the éclair.

She gave the apple juice and sprite drink to Abby.

"Here you go."

Abby smiled.

"You remembered that I like apple juice and sprite."

"Yeah, when you came to our house to spend the weekend, Mom asked you what your favorite drink was and she went to the store and got it; we usually didn't have soda but she wanted you to feel at home."

"Thank you for making it for me," Abby said, sipping her drink.

"You're welcome."

"Tell us about the limo," Matt said, reaching for another éclair.

"It was pretty cool. It had a TV, DVD player and bright red lights in the bar, and the seats were soft and bouncy."

Matt burped and said:

"Awesome."

Lucy nudged his side, annoyed at the belch, but laughing anyway.

"That was gross."

"Yeah, well, at least it wasn't the other end."

"Eww, Matt," she said, twisting her face; she sipped her drink and said to Abby:

"Was the ballroom pretty?"

"It was beautiful. The floor was marble and it shined. I wanted to take off my dress shoes and slide across it in my stockings. A big chandelier hung from the ceiling and it looked like one big sparkle of light."

"And the dresses?"

"Everyone looked pretty like a fairy tale princess and some girls wore tiaras. My friend Melanie had on a pretty blue dress with blue sparkles. But I think I had on the prettiest dress."

"I'm sure you did. Aunt Mercedes always picks out nice clothes for you."

"And Sam was the handsomest father there."

Lucy put her arm around her, giving her a side hug.

"I'm so glad Uncle Sam adopted you."

"Me too," Matt said, eating the final bite of the éclair, and licking the cream from his fingers.

"I am too," Abby said, and took a pink cupcake out of the bag, the frosting was smashed in the middle and a few of the sugar crystals fell on the table. Abby peeled away the silver cupcake liner, and took a big bite, relishing in how good it was.

"I could eat these all day," she said.

Lucy took an opera cake, and despite traveling in Abby's purse, it was more in tact than the other sweets, with the layers of coffee butter cream and chocolate ganache perfectly stacked.

"I love opera cakes," she said, biting into it, "And so does Mom. Do you mind if I save one for her?"

"Sure."

"How was the star show?" Matt asked.

"Wonderful, it showed us how stars are made and then at the end they had the stars dance around while Star Wars music played."

"Wow," Lucy said.

Matt picked a cherry out of his drink and bit into it.

"Sounds fun," he said and added "Did you do any old time dances like they do in black and white movies?"

"You mean like waltz?"

"Yeah."

"Well… we slow-danced but not really waltzed."

Matt stirred his soda with the straw, the ice cubes clinking against the glass.

"I can waltz," he said.

"Really?"

"We learned to waltz in etiquette class," Lucy said, "It taught us how to act around people and not embarrass ourselves."

"I've never heard of that before. Was it at school?"

"No, Mom made us do it. We had to go to this studio in the mall. It was weird, but the dancing wasn't bad."

Matt burped and stood up. He held his hand out to Abby and bowing he said:

"May I have this dance?"

"Do it before he burps again," Lucy said.

Abby giggled and took his hand.

"Yes, you may."

Matt smiled and with his back ramrod straight, the two faced each other; he joined her right hand with his left hand in an upper hand clasp at her eye-level, then he placed his right hand on her shoulder blade, with her left arm lying on his right arm.

Abby was unsure of what to do with her feet. Matt helped her position them and reassured her.

"It's easy. Do what I do," he said, "Your posture is good."

"Thanks."

Soon they were waltzing around the kitchen with tentative steps to the tune of the Blue Danube that Matt and Lucy hummed together. Instead of the elegance and sparkle of a ballroom surrounding them, there was everyday life: the freshly waxed white-tiled floor with a starburst crack in the middle where Sam accidently dropped his hammer; a low murmuring fridge with emergency numbers and Rachel's color coded medical appointment schedule taped to it; baby bottles drying in the dish rack; glowing blue numbers on the microwave; stocking feet instead of fancy shoes; Matt's knobby knees bumping into the green tulle skirt of her gown, and the clean smell of lemon-scented dishwasher detergent filled their nostrils; but, nevertheless, it was fun sharing this silly, playful moment with Lucy and Matt and Abby smiled and looked up and saw one of the green balloons from the party drifting above them, letting the magical evening continue for just a little longer. When they were finished, Lucy clapped, Matt bowed, and Abby curtsied.

They sat down to the table and finished their drinks, eating the cherries, and sucking on the green squiggle straws, until the glasses were empty, making that annoying sound that their parents hated when you were getting the last bit of soda at the bottom of the glass, and laughing and belching. After they put their dirty glasses in the sink and put the remaining treats in the fridge, Lucy pointed to the pink velvet Daddy Daughter Dance bag.

"What's in that bag?"

"I don't know," Abby said, "Let's see."

She opened the bag and inside there was a round hot pink compact mirror, a silver bracelet with one star charm dangling from it, a bottle of silver glitter nail polish, a pastel pink leather diary with a gold key, a bottle of Hello Kitty perfume, and tickets to the next museum exhibit and star show.

"Nice swag," Lucy said.

Abby was impressed too.

"I love all of this stuff," she said, gazing at the pile on the table.

"It's just like Christmas," Matt said.

"I think it's even better than Christmas," Abby said.

"Why?"

"Because I wasn't expecting any of it."

"Well, expect that all of us love you very much," Lucy said.

They gave her a big hug, and Abby felt warm and cozy inside like when she sat in front of the fireplace on a cold day. Then she saw that the microwave clock said 12:55.

"We've got five minutes to get upstairs," she said.

They turned off the kitchen light and the TV in the living room and ran up the stairs, stumbling and giggling and managed to get to their rooms with two minutes to spare. Abby fell on her bed, heart pounding, her gown spread out around her like a poufy fan, and she looked at the stars glowing on her ceiling before falling asleep.

THERE'S NOTHING SWEETER THAN MY BABY

Sam heard the kids running up the stairs and laughed to himself. He knew they would make it, and he was glad that he let them have that half an hour to be silly and talk. By the time he got Mercedes upstairs, they were naked in three seconds and he made love to her like he hadn't seen her for a lifetime. Her warm, nude, body was now curled up next to his, and he had his arms around her. Precious and everything -that's what she was to him; he rubbed her smooth back, listening to her breathe, so sweet this moment was to him. In their haste, he took off her satin cap too, because he had to see all of her, nothing covered. He stroked her tightly coiled Afro, soft and springy on his fingertips.

She wasn't asleep, only resting her eyes, she finally opened them and raised her head from his chest.

"I better get Abby ready for bed."

"She's already in bed."

"I know but she needs to take off her dress and put on her nightgown."

"How do you she has on her dress?"

"Just a hunch."

Sam kept stroking her hair, twirling it around his fingers. Mercedes sighed, laying her head back down again. They lay in silence, arms and legs wrapped around each other, neither one making any effort to move from that warm bed.

"She'll be ok," Sam said, his eyes closing.

"Humph, that dress is expensive."

"I don't see you getting up."

"You've trapped me here."

"How?"

"I can't move with your hands all up in my hair; you're playing me like a fiddle, Sam Hummel.

"Is that right?" He said massaging her scalp.

"Yes, that's right."

"So you want me to stop?"

"Hell, no."

Sam laughed.

"Thought so."

"But I really should get up."

"What you really should do, is stay in this bed with your man, that's what you should do."

"My man, not my husband?"

"Man sounds manly."

"I like husband."

"I like wife, but I also like woman."

"Because it sounds womanly?"

"There you go."

Mercedes chuckled.

"This conversation is asinine… I love you, Sam.

"And I love you my wife, woman, mother of my children, and keeper of my secrets."

"Damn, that's a mouthful."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah."

"But you know I like woman. Something about saying my woman… I don't know."

"I'm just messing with you, baby, I know what you mean. While I do like my husband, my man can be nice too."

"You know you still haven't gone to see if our daughter has on her dress or nightgown."

"And you still haven't stopped messing with my hair, knowing it makes me weak in the knees."

"That's why I haven't stopped."

"Play fair."

"If I played fair, I'd never win."

Mercedes yawned.

"Abby's dress will get wrinkled."

"This bed is warm and you're sexy as hell."

Mercedes closed her eyes.

"It is only for one night. And I can iron it."

"True," Sam said, his hand roaming up and down her back and then squeezing her butt cheeks, taking large handfuls.

Her breath hitched a bit and she sighed, enjoying his hands on her bare behind.

"The dress should be fine," she said, trying to keep her voice from quivering.

Sam scooted back a little and rubbed her soft, pudgy belly, kneading the warm, pliant flesh, he loved the jiggle and wiggle of it.

"Also true," he said.

Mercedes laid back and moaned, allowing him more room to play with her belly, almost purring like a kitten.

"Sam..."

"Hard to keep my hands off of you," he said, continuing to massage her belly, loving how she became boneless at his touch, then he said to her:

"You know what I like?"

"What?" She asked.

"When you wear that one piece body shaper underwear, and when you're getting undressed, and you take it off, and your belly spills out, and your breasts tumble out, everything free, and the lamplight is shining on your skin, and you're telling me something like how the gas bill is higher than usual, or that the den has a drafty window, just ordinary stuff like that, and you're walking around the room, getting ready for bed, hanging up your clothes; and your belly, breasts, and ass are shaking, and you're taking off your jewelry, but keeping on your wedding ring until the very last possible moment, before you finally get in the shower; I love how you hate taking it off, and damn it all, you're so sexy like that, your naked beautiful body, your hair out, wild and free… and I'll be sitting on the bed, watching you, wondering how I got so lucky."

She reached for him and pulled him down for a kiss, and they made out for a while, and he loved her lips, and taste, relished in the sweet, warmth depths of her mouth.

Breathless, they pulled away from on another, facing each other. Sam reached for her, closing the space between them, feeling her body tremble.

"Do you…"

"Yes."

He nodded and eased her on her back, filling her once more; this time it was slower, Mercedes moaned beneath him, the steady stroking was more like moving through water, gliding along, riding the currents and waves, unlike the urgent carnal lust before.

"I feel you stretching it out," he said, as he felt her body stretching each stroke, savoring each sensation like sipping a glass of fine wine, letting its flavor settle on your tongue, feeling the warm rush. Her eyes never left his; and he was reading her and filling her all at once.

Mercedes danced by the window with Rosy and Jake, sunlight shined on them, she looked over and saw him staring and smiled and his heart swelled.

She held him after a bad dream. Something about death.

You're Abby's father now, she said, on the courthouse steps, hugging him.

She rubbed cream into his callused hands.

I'm beside you she said one night as they loaded the dishwasher, talking about the future.

She came up behind him and hugged him as he combed Abby's hair, her hands roamed beneath his shirt.

I love you Sam, she whispered, as they sat in the Walmart parking lot, one rainy afternoon, her hand on his arm as he gripped the steering wheel; they had had a huge fight that wasn't resolved but didn't destroy them.

In bed, she pressed her cold little feet against his when the heater broke.

She cried in his arms in the bathroom, shower steam engulfing them.

She sang him a song only he could hear, soft and sweet.

He saw those moments in her eyes, flashes of their lives together as husband and wife. As they made love, he celebrated and cherished all of it, holding it in his heart. Sending those feelings through the joining of their bodies, burying himself deep within her.

"Sam…" she said, holding onto him, gasping, biting her lip.

He leaned down and kissed her.

"We'll make it last."

Tears fell from Mercedes' dark eyes. Her skin was flushed. He kept his pace, giving her what she craved, drawing out each movement; that slow burn that ran through them as they connected, each stroke was like a lit match added to the fire, tiny flames absorbed into the inferno that consumed them. Sam floated; this was his home, his bliss; Mercedes made those piercing sounds he loved to hear, a siren's song that aroused him; she squeezed him within her and he gave her all that he had; because she was everything.

He thrust his hips a final time, driving into her; and Mercedes clung to him, clawing his back, her tiny hands slipping on his sweat soaked skin, and he covered her precious body with his own, as they shuddered in each other's arms, completely undone.

BLESSINGS, LOVE, AND VOICES LOST

Early the next morning, Mercedes heard Jake and Rosy wake up in their room. The baby monitor broadcast their babbling chatter and the jingling bell tune of their wind-up jack in the boxes. They weren't crying, and Mercedes was thankful for that. Sam held her tight, mumbling in his sleep, she nudged him.

"The babies are awake."

Sam groaned, opened his eyes.

"Are they crying?"

"Nope."

"Five more minutes," he said, tightening his hold around her waist.

As much as Mercedes wanted to stay naked and warm beside him, she decided to get up and start the day. She looked at the clock radio on the nightstand and it was 7:30 in the morning.

"I'm getting up," she said, attempting to free herself from his grip, "For real this time," she added, recalling last night's mind-blowing love making that prevented her from checking on Abby.

"You have free will," Sam said, he caressed her breasts, tweaking her thick nipples.

Mercedes resisted, despite the pleasure his ministrations brought her.

"Sam, don't start, besides, you know how Rosy and Jake are. They can be fine one minute and then bawling the next. It won't be long before they are crying for us to get them."

"Simmer down, Mrs. Hummel," he said, kissing the back of her neck, "I'm just being greedy. I'll get up with you."

Mercedes turned around and kissed him.

"Ok."

They quickly showered and got dressed in their "around the house" sweats and went to the twins' room where they found them standing up in their cribs, arms raised to be picked up, joyous smiles on their faces. Rosy's curly blonde Afro puff was slightly askew in the center of her head and Jake's straight black hair stuck up in a few places. They both wore purple pajamas with yellow moons and white clouds scattered on them.

"Morning, Sunshine," Sam said as he picked up Rosy, "You been a good girl?"

Rosy nodded.

"Yes," she said, hugging him, laying her head on his shoulder.

Mercedes picked up Jake and he smiled at her.

"Ma," he said, burying his face in her neck.

"Morning Jakey," she said, gently rubbing his back.

Sam and Mercedes each kissed their children and went downstairs to give them breakfast. As they settled the babies into their high chairs, the doorbell rang.

"I wonder who that could be?" Mercedes said.

"I'll answer it," Sam said.

It turned out to be Hiram and Sean, they followed Sam into the kitchen, carrying bags from La Madeline.

"We brought breakfast with us, so you don't have to cook it. It's enough for everybody." Sean said, his blue eyes were tired and his skin looked paler than usual, but his smile was warm and his dark blue shirt brought out the blue in his eyes.

"Its fake French food, but it's good anyway," Hiram said, setting the bags on the table, "Bon appetit!" His white teeth gleamed under the kitchen light; the long-sleeved red T-shirt he wore was snug and it outlined his well-defined pectoral muscles and bulging biceps.

Sam began taking the food out of the bags. Mercedes hugged Hiram and Sean, smelling the cologne on their skin, the rich, woodsy scent of rosewood, sandalwood, and amber filled her nostrils, reminding her of the finer things in life like Renaissance oil paintings and crystal flutes filled with champagne.

"You didn't have to do this. Thank you," she said to them.

"Now, Mercedes, since we spend so much time here, we said we would help out with the everyday stuff," Sean said, "And that includes cooking."

"It smells good," Sam said.

"We got the basics like eggs, toast, bacon, croissants, quiche, sausages, parfaits, that sort of thing," Sean said as he patted Rosy and Jake on the head.

"Hello, my darlings," he said.

"Granda!" They said, looking up at him and smiling.

Sam and Mercedes looked over at them, surprised at what they heard.

"What did you call him?" Sam asked the twins.

Jake answered first.

"Granda."

Sean clapped his hands together, grinning.

"I can't believe it. They're saying Granddad. It's missing a few syllables but that's what they're saying."

"And what's his name," Mercedes asked, pointing to Hiram.

"Zade," Rosy said.

Hiram and Sean each gave Rosy and Jake a kiss on the forehead.

"What a lovely way to start the morning," Hiram said, "Beautiful children… " he paused touching their cheeks, and said to Sean, "Remember Rachel's first word? You heard it first and woke me up at 5:00 in the bloody morning like some kind of nutter saying, Booba said Pop! I didn't know whether to wallop you or jump around and celebrate."

Sean laughed, putting his arm around Hiram's waist, hugging him to his side.

"Yes, baby I remember. It was one of those gray London mornings but that one word changed everything, she was so sweet, biggest brown eyes and I – " Sean stopped speaking and wiped away the tears forming in his eyes on his shirt sleeve, "Um, who's up for coffee? I can make a pot."

"I am," Mercedes said, touching his arm.

Hiram kissed his cheek.

"Me too, love."

While Sean made a big pot of coffee, Mercedes and Sam chatted with him and Hiram as they fed scrambled eggs and a fruit parfait to the twins.

"What's on your agenda for today?" Mercedes asked them, while feeding a spoonful of eggs to Rosy.

"Chemo with Rachel and Finn, a trip to CVS to fill prescriptions, meeting with the realtor about finding us an apartment," Sean said, leaning against the marble counter waiting for the coffee to brew, and soon the kitchen was filled with the strong aroma of roasted coffee beans, intermingled with the smells of eggs, sausages, and baked bread.

"Sounds like a full day."

Sean sighed.

"I know. I'm already tired."

"How was the Daddy Daughter Ball?" Hiram asked, taking a croissant from the brown box on the table.

Sam told them all about the magical evening at the museum the night before. Mercedes couldn't have loved him more as he described how much fun they had and his feelings of being Abby's father.

"I tell you," Sam said, stirring the parfait before feeding a spoonful to Jake, "I never felt prouder to be Abby's father. She's an amazing girl. We had so much fun. With all that's going on, I'm making it a priority to spend more one on one time with her; I forgot how much we enjoyed being together, just talking and whatnot. And that star show was great."

"That's truly wonderful, Sam, I'm happy for you. You're a good man." Sean said, and Mercedes could tell he meant that from his heart.

Sam was touched and he blushed.

"Thank you, Sean."

"I second that," Hiram said, "Abby is very fortunate."

Sam shook his head, and grabbed Mercedes' hand, squeezing it tight.

"No, I'm the fortunate one. I've got the best wife and children in the world. I'm not short on blessings."

He kissed Mercedes and began feeding Jake again.

Hiram patted his hand.

"To quote the Psalms, My cup runneth over."

"Amen," Sam said.

Mercedes was thankful for what she had; her gratitude was bountiful; but underneath her joy, her heart broke for Rachel. She wanted her cup to run over too and to see Lucy Matt, and Finn restore their loving bond that's been fractured by his withdrawal; she also wanted Hiram and Sean to repair their relationship with Finn, but this was all beyond her control, so she simply loved them all, and prayed for them everyday. She tried to think of something positive to say and she said:

"Tonight is the Taylor Swift concert, the kids are excited."

Sean smiled, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"That's right. I almost forgot. I'm glad Burt and Carol agreed to take them. We've got conference call meetings that can't be rescheduled."

"Yes, I am too," Mercedes said, wiping Rosy's mouth with a napkin, "How did you manage to get VIP passes?"

"A friend of a friend of a friend," Sean said, "That's the most least complicated way that I can explain it."

"My husband is being quite modest," Hiram said, "He has great connections."

Sean shrugged, sipping his coffee.

"I know a few people, but I can't always pass the velvet rope."

"Pop, you are the velvet rope, what are you talking about?"

Rachel said, walking into the kitchen, with Finn dragging her oxygen tank and gently guiding her; he was still in his pajamas, and he looked sleep deprived and pallid. Rachel's beautiful wig of light and dark brown hair was on her head; she wore a lightweight knit sweater and yoga pants in soft shades of pink; she sat down next to Hiram.

"Booba, what are you doing up?" Hiram said grabbing her hand, "Your appointment isn't for another three hours.

"I thought my appointment was tomorrow."

"No, it's today. Are you sure you should be up?"

"I heard your voices and I wanted to come down."

"Don't you think you should – "

She held up her hand.

"I think I should be with my family. This makes me feel good, Aba, don't deprive me of that."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Ok, Booba."

Rachel said good morning to Sam and Mercedes and she waved at the twins.

"Hi Rosy, Hi Jake."

They waved back and laughed, fruit parfait on their chins.

Sean walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Morning, Pop."

"Now what's this about me being the velvet rope?"

She smiled at him, her eyes holding a glimpse of mischief.

"You know what I mean. You're quite selective in who you associate with."

"Are you calling me a snob?"

Hiram laughed.

"I think so."

Sean rolled his eyes.

"Oh, you two need to stop. Sweetie, do you want anything to eat? We got La Madeline for breakfast."

"I'll just have some tea."

"Coming right up."

Finn stood in the doorway, running his hands through his hair, his face unshaven.

"I've got to get ready for my run," he said, and went upstairs.

"Is he training for a marathon?" Sean said while he took a box of tea from the cupboard.

"Pop, don't. He's working through it."

Before Sean could reply, Matt, Lucy, and Abby all walked into the kitchen, bleary eyed and yawning, wearing their pajamas. They said good morning to everyone and Mercedes hugged Abby.

"Did you fall asleep in your dress?"

"Yes, but only for a little bit. I got up and changed. I hung it up."

Mercedes kissed her forehead.

"Just checking."

"Zaide, did you and Granddad bring all this food?" Matt asked, opening up a plastic container and taking out a sausage link, biting into it.

"We most certainly did," Hiram said, "Help yourselves. You may have to heat it up."

"I'm surprised all of you are up," Sam said.

"I was hungry," Matt said.

"You're always hungry," Lucy said.

Sean set a cup of tea in front of Rachel.

"Now, I want you to drink all of that. It's rosemary tea and it's a herbal remedy that helps chemo brain."

"So she won't have as many brain farts?" Matt asked.

Sean laughed.

"I prefer the term brain flatulence, but you get the point."

"Thanks, Pop," Rachel said, stirring the tea; she looked over at Abby:

"Did you have fun last night?"

"I had the best time," Abby said as she dished scrambled eggs onto her plate, "I felt like a princess. And thank you for the handkerchief."

"That's great, Abby, and you're welcome. After breakfast, you can tell me all about it," Rachel said.

"Ok, Aunt Rachel," Abby said, giving her a hug. "You look pretty in pink."

Sean sang:

Pretty in pink, isn't she?

Everyone except Hiram, who chuckled, looked at him confused.

Sean shrugged.

"Well, excuse me for having an 80s moment."

Hiram kissed him.

"It's ok, baby. I got you."

Lucy sat next to Rachel and her mother put her arm around her.

"Maybe next year your father can take you."

"I don't know about that," Lucy said, "Where is he anyway?"

"Upstairs, getting ready for his morning run."

"That figures… oh, guess what?"

"What?"

"We saved a treat for you. Abby brought back some appetizers from the ball," Lucy said, getting up from her chair and opening the fridge. She took out one of the Ziploc bags and opened it, removing the opera cake. She put it on a napkin and set it before her mother.

Rachel's eyes grew misty.

"Oh, it's a…," she paused, thinking of what the treat was called, "I know that I know this…" She narrowed her eyes in concentration, searching for the word.

Lucy held Rachel's frail hand.

"It's ok, Mom. It's an opera cake. You used to tell us about when you and Granddad and Zaide lived in Paris, and how they would take you to the patisserie on Saturdays and you always got an opera cake and a glass of milk and you would sit outside at one of the little tables and watch the people walk by. It's ok if you can't eat it."

Rachel kissed Lucy's temple.

"No, Lucy, it's fine. Thank you for this. I'll have a little bite, ok?"

"I'll have a bite," Hiram said, "I haven't had one of these in years."

"I'll have some too," Sean said.

They cut the opera cake into three small portions, and each took a piece, biting into it and smiling, thinking of Paris streets and wrought iron tables shining in the sun.

Rachel closed her eyes as she chewed the sweet cake layered with coffee butter cream and chocolate ganache.

"Delicious," she said and took another bite, slowly chewing, "I remember a song I sang in Paris when I was a little girl."

"What song was it?" Lucy asked.

Rachel was quiet for a moment then hummed a melody before she began singing in a soft, raspy voice:

Alouette, gentille Alouette,

Alouette, je te plumerai -

She had to stop because it was too much to sing; and her voice was too strained and tired; she breathed deep, her face red from embarrassment and frustration.

"I miss my voice," she said, looking down a the table.

"Then we'll be your voice," Hiram said and he picked up where she left off, with Sean joining in:

Alouette, gentille Alouette,

Alouette, je te plumerai,

Alouette, gentille Alouette,

Alouette, je te plumerai,

Je te plumerai la tête,

(Je te plumerai la tête)

Et la tête

(Et la tête)

Alouette

(Alouette)

O-o-o-oh

Lucy and Matt hugged their mother tight, holding onto to her as she smiled wistfully, a few grateful tears slid down her cheeks, while their grandfathers sang her a song from her childhood; giving her the voice she had lost.

DIGGING IN THE DIRT

When Finn wasn't tending to Rachel, taking her to the doctor, helping her dress and bathe, administering medicine, holding her while she slept, making sure her oxygen tank never ran low, and doing anything to ease her pain; he was either going for long runs or working with Sam. The two brothers had a lot to do operating the house flipping business and advising on local historical restoration projects. It was difficult for him, juggling everything, but Finn managed the best he could; though he rarely spoke to Sam about Rachel's cancer. It was the elephant in the room; and when they were alone, they usually discussed business and not much else.

Gone were the days of talking about their lives and how they truly felt about things; Finn became a stranger, not only to his kids, but to Sam too, his big brother's hazel eyes no longer held any life, only quiet despair that he refused to acknowledge, and that hurt Sam to his core, though he tried not to dwell on it.

That night while the kids were at the Taylor Swift concert with Burt and Carol, the family gathered in the living room to watch movies. Rachel was in the recliner, knitting one of the baby blankets she never finished, and of course Finn was beside her in the other big chair, his feet propped up on the matching ottoman. Whenever her hands trembled and she had trouble gripping the knitting needles, he would gently take them from her and continue knitting until her hands had rested enough for her to continue. Despite Finn's withdrawal, Sam admired his devotion to Rachel. It impressed Sam that Finn even learned how to knit, something that Sam never would've thought in a million years that he would ever see his brawny brother doing, but there he was, hunched over in the chair, knitting needles flashing, making a pink blanket for Lucy.

Hiram and Sean were able to finish their business calls early, so they joined them that evening, and they cuddled up on the love seat, and Sam and Mercedes were on the couch, Sam's arm was around Mercedes, her head was on his shoulder. The twins were tucked away upstairs in their cribs, fast asleep, their Mickey Mouse nightlight glowing on their cherubic faces.

They decided to watch John Wick. While watching the movie, Hiram and Sean drank bottles of New Castle Brown Ale, an English beer that Finn bought for them, and even though he performed this thoughtful gesture for his father-in-laws, the tension between them was apparent. Conversations were short.

After the movie was over, while everyone was deciding on what to watch next, Hiram said:

"So Sam, how's business going?"

"Good, we just got a contract for some historical restorations in Star Pride," Sam said, "A few houses downtown have been linked to the underground railroad."

"Congratulations, hope it goes well."

"Thanks. Finn's been a big help."

"Why didn't you go into business with your brother?" Hiram asked Finn, "It may have saved you in the end. Your job situations were always precarious."

"They weren't precarious; I just needed change over the years. This was Sam's thing, not mine."

"He was just pointing out the advantage of business ownership," Sean said, sipping his beer, "That's all."

"I've owned businesses," Finn said, an edge in his voice.

Sam wanted to avoid an argument so he said:

"Why don't we watch Avengers Age of Ultron?"

But they ignored him.

"Have you?" Sean asked, "I can't say I remember."

"Are you saying I'm lying?"

"No, I'm only saying I don't remember."

"I owned a landscaping business, and for a while a painting business too."

"What happened to them?"

"That's ancient history," Finn said, "It doesn't matter what happened."

"We could've helped you," Sean said.

"I don't want your money," Finn said, "I can take care of my family."

"I didn't mean financially, perhaps some business pointers could've saved them. You always make these assumptions; I'll never understand it."

"All of you please stop," Rachel said, "We were having a nice time. Don't ruin it."

Finn shook his head, gripping the arm of his chair.

"Rachel, I love you, but I'm not having a nice time. I can't take their bullshit any more."

"What bullshit?" Hiram said, his eyes wide, "We said we would've helped you. That's all we ever wanted to do. We're not the enemy."

"Why do you always think you know what's best for me and my family? I don't need your advice. I can handle things."

"The way you handled almost losing your house?" Sean said, "That could've been prevented."

"My brother does the best he can," Sam said, "I know I shouldn't be butting in, but I am anyway, he just hit a rough patch. It happens to everybody."

"I only meant – " Sean started to say, but Rachel interrupted him.

"Pop, Finn takes care of me and the kids very well, drop it, ok?"

"If that's the case, then he shouldn't run away every time they ask for his attention," Sean said, glaring at Finn, "I was going to keep my mouth shut, but I can't. Why are you shutting them out?"

"Baby, leave it alone," Hiram said, rubbing his husband's arm. But Sean wasn't having it, and he said to Finn:

"Those are our grand kids. I won't leave it alone. Every day we see you scurry off when they try to talk to you. They need you."

"Do you see me clean up vomit off the bathroom floor because Rachel couldn't make it to the toilet? Do you see me giving her a bath when she can barely sit up sometimes? Do you see me laying out her pills on the dresser? Do you see me work my ass off for Sam everyday? Seems like a fucking lot you don't see." Finn said.

"I'm not saying you don't take care of Rachel. You're doing a wonderful job and I admire that. I'm talking about Matt and Lucy. Why are you ignoring them?"

"You've always had something to say about how I do things. No matter what it is. My own father doesn't question me like you do. What gives you the right?"

"When it involves my grandkids and daughter, I have every right."

"No you don't. Rachel may be your daughter but she's an adult; Matt and Lucy are our kids, not yours."

"And you're avoiding my question. Making it out to be about some perceived mistreatment you think you're getting from us. I say things because I don't like to see them hurting. And those kids are hurting so bad you don't even know. When you hurt Rachel I – "

"I knew you would bring that up. It's always there, isn't it? You don't say anything, but in everything you bitch about, it always comes back to that mistake I made. It's been over 10 years."

"Pop, please no more. I can't take this fighting. I forgave Finn a long time ago. You know that."

Sam had no idea what they were talking about. What mistake? He looked down at Mercedes and she looked as bewildered as he was. He wanted to say something but wasn't sure what to do.

Finn took a deep breath.

"Look, I know you love Rachel. I love her too. More than anything. If she can forgive me, than you should too. I know wasn't the man you wanted for her."

Sean held Hiram's hand, visibly angry, his knuckles turning white.

"We hate that you hurt Booba. You fucked her up pretty bad. She gave up a lot to be with you and you slept with a stripper?"

Mercedes whispered in Sam's ear: "Did you know about this?"

Sam shook his head, and responded, "No, not at all. I can't believe it."

And he really couldn't believe it. Finn always seemed so wrapped up in Rachel that finding out he cheated on her shocked and saddened him. He wondered if anyone else in the family knew, but his siblings were all very close, and if they knew, they would've said something. To calm down, he held up Mercedes' dainty, little hand, her emerald wedding ring sparkling on her finger and kissed it. Mercedes stroked his cheek and snuggled closer to him. Suddenly, Finn looked at Sam and said:

"Sam, I'm sorry about this. I kept it a secret from everyone."

"It's ok," Sam said, "I'm just shocked. We always told each other everything."

"I know. And that's why I'm sorry."

"We can talk about it later," Sam said, not sure of how he felt.

"Ok."

Hiram leaned forward and stared at Finn:

"You're right. We didn't think you were good enough for her. College dropout. Aimless. Witless. But Booba fell for you hard, she said you made her feel safe and we believed her. And we opened our hearts to you and you come from a decent, loving family. But then you fuck it up with your affair and she forgave you and we tried to forgive you too, but that's hard."

Rachel dropped her knitting needles into her lap and balled her fragile hands into fists.

"Aba, Pop. I've had enough. Stop running Finn into the ground. He made an awful mistake and we got through it. He's not aimless or witless. He's loving and kind. Both of us were different people then, and I discovered and did things in my life that I never would have without him. I love him and I won't have you diminish him into nothing."

Finn leaned over and kissed Rachel on the lips, her oxygen tubes bumping into his nose, and for a brief moment they smiled at the absurdity and then he kissed her again. When they broke the kiss, he whispered something in her ear and she smiled, her eyes shined, and despite her hollow cheeks and sickly state, Sam thought she looked like the old Rachel, the one who gave Christmas performances in his parents' dining room with Matt and Lucy as her co-stars, the one who curled Mercedes' hair for their first date, and showed Abby so much kindness when his daughter couldn't utter a single word, the one who championed his marriage to Mercedes and welcomed her into the fold; it's not that she went away completely, but that moment, her eyes shining in the soft light of the living room reminded him of how she was before cancer claimed her body, and made her forget Finn's birthday, though he said nothing, and tremble when she walked up the stairs.

Finn glanced over at Hiram, appealing to him:

"I'm sorry for what I did. I was wrong. It was a horrible time for our marriage. It was a one-time thing. I took responsibility for it. I can't undo what I did and I've proven that I can be a good husband and she's forgiven me, so why can't you?"

Hiram sighed, shaking his head.

"How about this? What if Lucy comes to you like Booba did, crying and saying she wants to die because she saw her husband humping some tart in a car park, would you automatically forgive the bloke that did that to her? Be thankful that Booba's heart stayed open to you. But regardless of Sean bringing it up, I agree with you that it's the past, so let's move on from it. We're worried about how hurt Matt and Lucy are. This is a difficult time for all of us, but ignoring them is the worst thing you can do."

Rachel reached for Finn's hand and held it.

"Finn, Aba and Pop are wrong for almost everything they said and for dredging up the past. But one thing I agree with is about Matt and Lucy. I haven't said anything because I know what strain you're under taking care of me. I love you so much Finn, I hate that you have to clean up after me and –"

Finn's eyes filled with tears and he leaned over and held her face in his hands.

"Never feel bad about being sick or me taking care of you. I want to be by your side for everything. I love you."

"Then what about our kids? They need you by their side too."

Finn began to cry.

"Because I don't how to be. I love Matt and Lucy more than anything. You know that. I just… I just don't know what to say or do to make it better. I want them to be the kids they were before and now that sadness in their eyes kills me and I want to take it away and I can't but… I love them so much. I really do; I don't know how to make them ok. I'm sorry, sweetheart, I'm so sorry for hurting them."

By now Finn's head was on Rachel's shoulder and she held him as close as she could, stroking his back, then she said:

"Finn, I need you to look at me."

He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I'm dying. I don't know how much time I have left. I want to enjoy every second I have with you and the kids. I want to feel all the pain and joy of being alive. And you have to accept that you will be their mother and father when I'm gone."

"Rachel I – "

"No, you have to accept it. I envy you, Finn. You'll get to see them grow up. Be there for their first dates. For their triumphs and failures. See Lucy grow into a woman and Matt into a man and watch them blossom into these amazing human beings, and damn it Finn, I'm angry because I won't be here. I won't see Lucy on her wedding day or Matt graduate from college. But you will. And my heart hurts at the thought of not being here because I love them so much. Don't turn your back on them now, because once I'm gone, it will be too late to repair that damage and you'll lose them and they need you and you need them."

Tears streamed down Finn's face.

"Rachel, baby, please I – "

"No, Finn. Listen to me. They don't need you to fix anything. They're old enough to understand that their father is a human being, not some comic book hero that can save the day. All you have to do is listen to them, love them, hold them, and let them know that you are there for them because they need you so much. Matt and Lucy adore you, but that can change if you keep pushing them away."

Finn held her.

"I will baby, I swear I'll do everything you said. I'm so sorry for how I've been behaving."

"Forget being sorry, just do it. They will never be the kids they were before. Accept it. Make the best of what we have now."

"What we have is you dying. How can we make the best of that?"

"We take each day and bless it and live it and try to find good in it. When you just kissed me, I stayed in that moment as long as I could. When Lucy and Matt hug me or tell me a story or show me something beautiful like how the sunset looks from our bedroom window, that's making the best of it."

"What will I do without you?"

"You'll survive. You'll raise Matt and Lucy. You'll cry and hurt, but you'll celebrate and live. That's what you'll do, Finnegan Hudson Hummel. I love you."

They held each other tight, and Finn cried so hard that he shook in Rachel's arms.

OOO

Much later that night, after the kids were home from the concert, when Sam and Mercedes were in bed and lying under the covers with Sam's arm wrapped around Mercedes' waist; he thought about everything that happened, his heart was broken at what Finn and Rachel were going through. He loved them both and hated to see their suffering, and Matt and Lucy struggling with their emotions. He sighed and kissed the top of his wife's head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"Not right now," he said, stroking her back, "I just want to hold you."

"Ok, I love you."

"I love you too."

Sam raised her chin and kissed her. Not too long after that, Mercedes fell asleep, and he listened to her breathing, and the inevitable thought of her dying popped into his head. He wondered how he would handle it, if he would fall apart or be strong for their children. He had been broken before, and he was certain that, if it were to happen, Mercedes' death would destroy him. But then again, as he thought about Abby, Rosy and Jake, needing his love and attention, he knew that in the end, he would be their anchor just as Mercedes had been his.

"Don't ever die," he whispered in her ear.

Mercedes stirred in her sleep, oblivious to his impossible request to live forever. He leaned down and kissed her soft cheek, lightly touching her face. Rachel was right about making the best of what you have and Sam vowed to help his brother get through all of this; they would talk like they used to, no holds barred, while drinking beer on the back porch, summer breeze on their faces, and he knew Finn wouldn't be the same Finn he once knew, and that was ok, because life changed people, but they could be brothers again, and maybe the old Finn would make an appearance too, maybe he would eventually crack jokes, eat everything in sight, and tell stories about life, and whenever they got to talking and laughing and finishing each other's sentences, and that closeness hit a spot of connection that solidified their bond, Finn would put his arm around Sam's shoulders, like he did in the old days and say:

"Dude, isn't this awesome?"

And Sam would nod, clink his beer bottle against his and say:

"Yeah, Finn, it's pretty awesome."

END NOTES: Thank you for reading and reviewing my story!

#Samcedes #Samcedes fanfiction #sam evans and mercedes jones

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