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#pretty boy needs some lovin asap
l13 · 1 year
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If I could I'd constantly be feeling up Spot like holy shit. Luv his chest and tummy and hips and almost nonexistent ass hehe
YESYESYES OMGGG
spot never believes you when you compliment him. He waves you off even though his stomach does flips, "You're just saying that,"
now, he's hiding his face in the palms of his hands as he lays on your bed, chest heaving as you touch, squeeze and kiss aaaall over his body. He shivers when you graze your teeth over his plush tummy, biting the skin a second later, "Mhh- fuck. M sorry, m sorry, I believe you! Please just touch me already!"
"Touch you where, baby?"
"My cock, m so fucking hard for you, please,"
<3
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xpao-bearx · 2 years
Text
"Like A Virgin"
Steven Grant x Fem!Reader/Jake Lockley x Fem!Reader/Marc Spector x Fem!Reader
Read Part 1 HERE
Read Part 2 HERE
Read Part 3 HERE
NOTES: I literally put my whole heart and pussy into the previous part and it's just so THRILLING to see all the immense love and support!! 🥺❤️❤️❤️
I'm reeeally hoping y'all will like this part, too! Steven has an extremely special place in my heart, but this time we're shifting focus and giving our lovably murderous Moon Boy JAKE his time to shine!! \(^o^)/
Now as we all know, Jake unfortunately hasn't had a lot of screen time yet. I also watched Moon Knight for the third time and besides his confirmed appearance in the post-credits, there are some other more subtle scenes that I'm PRETTY sure Jake was in and it was a lot of fun for me to think so and obsess over!
But I digress! Anywhore, as I was saying, since Jake hasn't been on a lot the way I write him is PURELY made up. Of course, I try my best to capture the vibes I personally get from him, but until Season 2 drops (because I am NOT giving up on that) we don't know for certain what his personality's actually like (and I haven't read the comics please don't shoot me). It was a little challenging, but I really enjoyed getting to explore Jake and his perspective quite a bit! Though he ended up being a bit sadder than I intended CUZ THIS BOI JUST NEEDS AND DESERVES A WHOLE LOTTA LOVIN'❣️
Furthermore, I am not a Spanish speaker. Jake obviously is and I wanna stay as true as possible to the character by having him speak some (*cough* S E X Y *cough*) Spanish throughout, but if I made any mistakes at all then please kindly correct me as I mainly just use Google Translate and/or search up Spanish terms! For example, I was made aware that "ese" means "that" in Spanish. However, it's also Spanish slang for "dude", "man", etc. and I just find it fitting for Jake to call the boys that 😅
Also, Jake is...rough 😳 Don't worry, he loves and cares about you a LOT, but this is a fair WARNING in case you're not into that! And this part got pretty long, IDK I probs blacked out somewhere in the middle and this is le horny result~
Additionally, do y'all think the relationship between reader x Steven/the boys is going too fast? I really try to make it as natural as possible, but hey this is only fiction after all and I think Steven, for one, falls in love FAST since in the show he was already simping for Layla the first time they met 😂 But I can't judge Steven cuz I'd be the same if I ever met Oscar Isaac I mean, I'm already simping now but YOU GET IT
And a lil funny coincidoink, Like A Virgin came on the radio which I guess was your guys' universal push for me to continue this ASAP!
I truly am sorry for the wait!! Life is hard but I simp harder xD
TAGS: @autismsupermusicalassassin @ungracefularchimedes @pimosworld @ababynova @sweatyroadcowboyjudge @anapnovo-blog @am-3-thyst @harrys-tittie @zukoisbabee @wiltedwonderland @the-ginger-draws @bitchyglitterfox @readingfan @spidey-3 @minigirl87 @wandasupremacy @simba-will-live-on @wavychelle @thepowerthismanhasoverme @blackholegladiator @kittytiddywinks @literalfkinsimp @valen-yamyam16 @shaunalouie @howellatme @aleat0ri0 @bean-is-reading @indigxjunipxr
Part 4: Gonna give you all my love, boy
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Your chest rose and fell with each soft, blissful snore. Your face void of any burden, open and peaceful; plump lips parted slightly, looking so kissable. And that's exactly what Steven did, lonely lips descending to meet yours--his slumbering goddess.
An insatiable part of him longed for you to awaken, to spend more time fumbling around in the sheets until sunrise. But he knew, more than anyone else, that sleep was important. And he had no doubt that after all the...unique events that progressed your relationship, you deserved all the rest you can get.
Like the proper gentleman he was, he had cleaned you up before snuggling in bed together until dreams inevitably consumed you. And now here you were, using one of his arms that he can't feel anymore as your pillow and your bodies exchanging heat.
Then his mouth lowered, down your chin, to your throat, and to the delicate dip between your neck and shoulder. Planting butterfly kisses on your skin, lips tracing and eyes memorizing every perfect imperfection that dotted your body like constellations.
He noticed your breathing slowly growing uneven, your nipples salaciously peaking through your tank top. He knew he had to stop. He had to, but...
He lifted his free hand, inching towards your breasts before freezing, clenching into a tight fist that had his nails digging into his palm.
His cheeks bloomed red, pulling away and laying on his back as he stared up blankly at the ceiling. What the fuck was he doing?
"Jake, mate... I know you're there, might as well say something, yeah?" Steven whispered.
'Your senses are improving, ese.' Jake snickered. 'Is that why you stopped? No need to be shy, it's just the same as watching porn.'
Steven turned redder, clearing his throat. "Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"
Silence greeted him. Steven waited patiently, giving his alter all the time he needed. As rough around the edges as they may be, the boys all cared about each other and Steven knew that all Jake needed--deserved--was time. Hell, he and Marc didn't even know Jake existed for a while until he finally felt comfortable enough to reveal himself.
'Nah, ese.' Jake snorted, though his voice held a certain heaviness to it. 'She's all yours. You deserve her, Steven.'
"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."
'Don't think your little cariño would appreciate it so much that you're wanting to hand her off to some other asshole.' Jake scoffed.
"I'm not 'handing her off', you git. I wanna...share." Steven mumbled the latter, gulping thickly.
'Steven...' Jake sighed, but Steven sensed intrigue in his tone. 'I don't know what the fuck you expect from this talk, ese. We only share the same body, that's it.'
"You're lying and you know it. Two months working with Y/N, I never said anything, but I knew you were always there. This damn body isn't the only thing we share, 'cause I know your feelings are just the same as mine."
It was then that you mewled softly, shifting and wrapping an arm around Steven's waist and cuddling close to his side with a content little smile on your lips as you slept.
Steven melted and he felt Jake do so, too.
"I'm not giving you an out, mate." Steven chuckled, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I'm absolutely buggered and so are you."
♡•••🌙•••♡
Steven, that absolute fucking puta.
As soon as Jake opened his eyes, dread filled him. Slowly turning his head and seeing your back to him, he knew Steven gave up control at some point and forced Jake to come out from the shadows.
He's tried multiple times to drag that pendejo back out, but Steven has obviously put up a block between them. Jake sighed frustratedly, his gaze lingering on you once more.
His heart ached. And fuck it hurts.
He wasn't Steven.
He did not deserve you.
He was dirty--rotten. He was only good for causing pain; even the ways in which he protected the boys were brutal, inhumane.
And he loved the chaos. Thrived in it.
When Steven met you for the first time, two months ago, that was what Jake intended to cause as well. Pain. Heartbreak.
Nothing more than another pretty notch to add to his belt.
But you...surprised him. You actually cared about Steven, gave him basic human respect and the time of day when no one else did and just fucking listened. Accepted him with open arms and such a kind, blinding smile. And pretty soon, Jake yearned for that, too. From you. Just you.
You didn't even know he existed--you didn't fucking care about him--and yet you smashed his glass heart into a thousand pieces, leaving him to find the sharpest shard and continuously stab himself as punishment.
That's what he deserved. Not you.
But oh... You looked so cold. Why were you so far away? What the hell were you thinking, pulling away from him?
Like a lion stalking its prey, Jake crawled towards you until he was on top of you. His dark eyes trailed down your sleeping form, so beautiful, so vulnerable. He didn't realize his hand was shaking slightly as it reached up to caress your face, breath hitching as his thumb glided across your bottom lip before slowly slipping it inside your mouth.
He watched, completely entranced, as your saliva coated his thumb and the way in which you squirmed so that you were now laying on your back, facing him. You were still asleep, though your brows creased together and your breathing grew shallow.
What were you dreaming about, Jake wondered? Were you dreaming about last night? Steven didn't feel him then, but Jake was there and it was the best torture he's ever endured.
He can make you feel good--better. And if there was any room in your heart (and legs) for him, he'd more than happily prove it to you.
But you were so kind, so sweet... Surely you'd accept him, too, right?
Surely you'd relieve him of his huge fucking hard-on, right?
He found himself lowering, lowering, lowering--then stopped just as his lips were about to meet yours.
No...
You didn't deserve this. You didn't deserve him.
As if he was just burnt, he sprang away from you and sat at the foot of the bed, keeping as much distance as possible. His head hung low, hands scrubbing his face in frustration before turning into self-loathing slaps.
He quickly got a hold of himself, lest you have a cruel awakening to him. Not Steven.
He looked over his shoulder. You really did look cold. He unchained the ankle restraint then stood up, walking over to your side and tucking the blanket over your unfairly scantily clad body.
God... How he wished he was the one keeping you warm.
He then shook his head, glancing towards the wall clock. 5:40 a.m.
He can sneak out and do some business for Khonshu. And by the time he returns, hopefully Steven does, too.
He has to.
♡•••🌙•••♡
You rolled over in bed, expecting to cuddle up next to something much more solid than a pillow. Your brows furrowed, a hand flying out to pat the bed and not finding what--who--it was seeking.
Your eyes snapped open and you bolted upright. You looked around in a frenzy, eyes still bleary with sleep and finding the apartment completely empty.
You then noticed the time on the wall clock. 7:20 a.m.
You were off work today, but you weren't sure if Steven had a shift. But even if he did, it was still too early for the museum to open.
So...
Where the hell was Steven?
He couldn't have ditched you...could he? No, that wasn't possible, this was his flat.
But wait... What if this was his subtle way of telling you to get lost? That he didn't want to see you still here when he comes back from wherever the fuck he went to?
You overstayed your welcome, didn't you? This was what it was about, isn't it? This was all your fault, right?
You were on the verge of hyperventilating when, at the corner of your eye, you spotted a bright yellow sticky note on top of the books on the bedside table. You quickly ripped it off, reading the messy, rushed handwriting.
Don't know when I'll be back. Just relax. Food for you is in the kitchen, amor.
You blinked away tears you didn't realize were forming once, twice, then bursted into laughter.
"Fuck, seriously, what is wrong with me?" You berated yourself, still laughing.
This was Steven. Of course he would never abandon you, and you would never abandon him.
He proved it to you, after all. The memories of last night terrorizing your brain once more, making you blush like a virgin (which you were--for now).
You wanted to prove yourself to him, too. And you're sure you'll think of something, but at the moment you became distracted as your eyes landed on Steven's black sweatshirt sprawled carelessly across the floor.
You put on your glasses then hopped off of the bed and picked up the sweatshirt, tugging it on and letting out a giggle as it drooped over your thighs, turning the sleeves into little hand mittens and your body and heart just feeling so warm.
You ambled over to the kitchen, seeing a plate of slightly burnt toast and scrambled eggs clumsily covered in plastic wrap on the small dining table. You chuckled softly, taking the plastic off before sitting down and having breakfast.
As you chewed, once again your brain couldn't help but wander off.
It was only a little thing. Such a stupid thing, really. But still, it just would not stop nagging you.
Amor. It was French for 'love'.
But... Steven didn't spell it with a U. It was supposed to be amour.
Amor, no U, was the Spanish spelling. And Steven, who seemed fluent in French, should know that.
But people make mistakes, and who were you to judge such a minuscule, silly mistake?
Before you could entertain yourself by ruminating over such nonsense some more, your ears perked up when you heard the lock click and the door opening and shutting close. You kept quiet, watching as Steven slowly trudged in.
He was wearing a flat cap and a trench coat, and from your spot in the kitchen he hasn't noticed you yet. But he looked...different.
You couldn't quite explain it, but he seemed...tense. On edge. An air of agitation surrounding him, stiff in his movements yet carrying a sense of confidence at the same time.
Wild.
You then swallowed, standing up from your chair and silently making your way over to Steven with his back turned to you as he busied himself with stripping off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack.
You wrapped your arms around his waist, feeling him jolt. But before he could react, you spoke up.
"I missed you..." You murmured, embracing him more tightly as you pressed your cheek to his back. "Don't do that again, please. At least wake me up if you're leaving."
Steven didn't say anything, completely rigid and gloved hands balled into tight fists.
Then it clicked.
"You're not Steven...are you?"
His shoulders jerked, and you pulled your face away to look up at him. But you never removed your arms, keeping them in place around his waist.
Then his shoulders drooped, hearing him take a sharp intake of breath before ever so slowly turning his head over his shoulder.
"Caught red-handed." His lips curled up into a smirk, dark eyes gleaming down at you. "You're much more observant than I thought, princesa."
Your breath hitched, mouth agape and eyes blown wide as you gawked at him. You didn't know what to feel. Well, there was definitely excitement, but you weren't sure if it was appropriate for you to feel such a way.
Regardless, you were glad Steven was open and honest with you from the get-go. You knew, at some point, it was inevitable that you'd meet the two other men he's mentioned. So, you weren't too taken aback to be experiencing this right now.
"Judging from your accent and what you called me just now... You must be Jake?" You queried, cocking your head to the side as you stared up at him. Funny, he shared the exact same body as Steven, but he was still...different. The way he held himself, the little quirk to his lips, the look in his eyes--it was all very distinct.
"Don't see why you gotta keep asking me questions, princesa. Seems like ya got it all figured out." Jake scoffed, amusement in his tone.
"Well... You certainly made an...impression when you asked me out." You spoke slowly, carefully, as if not daring to spook some wild animal. You wanted Jake to feel safe, welcomed; because it felt like Jake hasn't at all expected to be here right now, but you wanted to let him know that you didn't mind him. You were happy to be meeting him.
But Jake took it the wrong way. He read your body language as aloof, like you were just trying to be polite. And why wouldn't you be? You were naturally kind, but he knew better.
He was absolutely not supposed to be here. He was never supposed to meet you, never planned to. After all, you preferred Steven.
...Didn't you?
His jaw ticked, his hands untangling your arms around his waist before he spun on his heel to fully face you. You gasped as he did, paling at the sight of blood on his shirt.
"What happened?!" You panicked, your hands immediately touching his body, eyes frantically searching for any injuries. "Did someone hurt you?! Oh my god, who did this to you?!"
"It's not my blood."
You froze, a chill coursing through your veins. Slowly, your head tilted up, meeting his gaze. It was much darker than before, flecks of savagery brewing within. And yet, you also saw...loneliness.
Longing.
"Are you scared, Y/N?"
You held your breath, his voice cracking as he uttered your name for the first time. It was a simple question that had a painfully simple answer.
"I am."
Jake shut his eyes, inhaling deeply and letting it out in a wavering breath.
He fucking knew it.
"Jake..." His eyes snapped open at your voice, so soft, so unexpectedly calm. "Will you...hurt me?"
"I would never." He whispered--promised--holding your gaze sincerely. "I couldn't."
"I'm scared of the...things you can do, Jake." You admitted, noticing his Adam's apple bob as he gulped. His gaze fell to the floor, but you reached up, gently cupping the side of his face. "But...I'm not scared of you."
Jake met your eyes once more, his hardened expression softening as he sighed, nuzzling into your comforting hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt...safe. He was not one of Khonshu's pawns, he was not Steven or Marc's ruthless protector, he was simply...
Jake Lockley.
"I'm sorry..." He murmured, trembling hand reaching out and caressing your cheek; tenderly, fondly, lovingly. "I...was never supposed to meet you. I was fine watching you quietly. But last night, Steven said he wanted us to meet. For me to be a...part of what you have with him."
A deafening silence rang in your ears. Jake watched you with those intense, soulful eyes, brows furrowed and jaw clenched as he waited with bated breath for your reaction. Any reaction.
"Jake..." You have no idea how you even managed to speak, your volatile heartbeat replacing the silence. "Take a shower first, we'll talk after."
♡•••🌙•••♡
Water dripped from Jake's hair, his hands pressed against the wall with his head tilted down as he watched the pristine white tiles of the shower's floor stain red.
This was an all too familiar situation for him. Washing off blood that didn't belong to him, his body getting cleaned though never his damned soul. But it never bothered him before...until now.
He knew there was a chance you'd be awake when he returned, but he figured that he can just pretend to be Steven at least until that idiot takes control of the body again. Jake's done it convincingly enough a few times before back when Steven and Marc were still unaware of his existence, acting as one of them whenever something triggered them and he suddenly had to front.
But when you hugged him, he just...froze. It felt as if he was struck by lightning because this was real--you were real. Your heart-wrenching kindness and beauty were all directed towards him, and he was no longer just a pathetic fly on the wall through Steven's eyes.
But how could he be so fucking dumb? He never should've shown himself, he should've stayed away from the apartment even if it took all day and just let Steven deal with the consequences. And yet...he came back.
Because, the absolute truth is, he wanted to meet you. At his very core, he was a selfish bastard who wanted to be with you, no matter the punishment inflicted on him--he inflicts on himself.
But was he really being selfish?
As drastically different as they were, Steven and Marc managed to control their own separate lives. Steven had his job that he despised, but also the comfort of regularly getting a paycheck that provided for his daily needs. Marc was Khonshu's (main) Avatar and as draining as it was, he could still unwind after a long day with a pack of beer and a Chicago Cubs game playing on TV.
And then, of course, there were Moon Knight and Mr. Knight that ultimately tied them together.
But what about Jake? Was he nothing more than a punching bag for Marc and Steven, only seizing command and handling whatever shitshow they got themselves into that they were too weak to finish?
Jake knew that was his job--his purpose. And honestly, it was okay. He cared about the boys, and keeping them safe meant the same for him as well.
...Until you came along. And for the first fucking time, he actually wanted something. Yearned for someone. Just for himself, and not because of anyone else's expectations or demands of him.
He didn't realize it until you came crashing into Steven's--and his--life like some fucking meteorite, but he was empty. And on the extremely rare occasions that Jake was entitled to the body all for himself, he grew tired of being tired from aimlessly hopping bar to bar. Nearly wiping all his fucking memories out with heavy drinks and the need--the desperation--to forget about the problems he deliberately ignores, hides, even for one single measly night through fucking some random stranger he didn't and won't ever care about.
But you weren't a stranger, that was perfectly clear. Days bled into weeks, and weeks into months; and here you were now, looking all cute--tempting--wearing Steven's sweatshirt, eating breakfast in his home, as his girlfriend.
Steven's girlfriend. Not Jake's girlfriend.
"Jake, you know you can meet Y/N too, right?"
Steven's words from last night echoed in Jake's head, taunting him. And the ridiculous proposition that followed afterwards, of the two of them sharing you.
"You're a part of me, Jake. You deserve her, too."
And maybe, just maybe...Steven's right.
Maybe Jake did deserve you.
But did you deserve him?
"What's got you looking all emo?" Jake's head abruptly whipped around, seeing you with one hand holding the shower curtain open while the other clutched onto a towel covering your body.
Your naked body.
Jake's mouth went dry, completely paralyzed. All he could do was let his eyes scan you from head to toe, undressing you in his mind. He's already seen you last night and he thought he'd be fine just basking you in from Steven's point of view, but oh...he thought dead wrong.
Because now he really wanted to touch you. Feel you. Make you come undone, all because of him. All for him.
"What the hell are you doing here?" His question came out sharper than he intended it to, eyes narrowing as he watched your gaze drop, shifting on your feet uncertainly along with the tantalizing way you bit your lip.
You seemed to be engaging in a silent war with yourself before you shook your head, straightening up as you dared to meet his eyes and slowly dropped the towel to the floor.
"I told Steven this before, but I prefer to get things over with." You smiled a bit sheepishly, stepping into the shower; the warm drizzle of water helped to thaw the ice cold sensation anxiety gripped you with. "I'm a very impatient woman, Mr. Lockley."
"And you think jumping into the shower completely naked with a man you barely know is the answer to your impatience, señorita?" Jake arched a brow, an amused smirk playing on his lips.
"Well, it's not like I can get into the shower with clothes on, right? That's just fucking stupid." You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes. "Besides... It's because I want to get to know you that I'm here."
"This is a dangerous game you're playing, princesa." Jake murmured, his smirk instantly vanishing; that furrowed brows, clenched jaw sternness once more overtaking his striking features as he regarded you. "I'm not your sweet, sensitive little boyfriend. I'm not Steven." He practically hissed out the name, though there was more sadness to it than venom.
"This isn't a game to me, Jake." You stated firmly, standing your ground as you held your chin high and levelled your gaze with his. "None of this is. I take Steven very seriously--I take our relationship very seriously." You paused, taking a deep, shaky breath. "And I know, maybe I'm moving too fast, and I totally understand your doubts about this--about me. But I'm not a fucking dumbass. I know you're not Steven and I like you, anyway."
Jake was rarely speechless, but even as his mouth parted to say something--anything--nothing came out. He felt something fall down his cheek, and he wasn't too sure if it was water or the strange liquid that suddenly made his vision all blurry.
But he didn't have much time to ponder on it when your hand gently pressed against his cheek, your eyes kind and full of adoration, the same adoration you always bless Steven with and something Jake believed was only a far-off miracle for him.
"Y/N..." He choked out, glossy dark eyes intently set on you. "I'm a monster."
"You're not a monster, Jake." You were quick to counter, taking a step closer, now being chest to chest with Jake. "You're a part of Steven, and anything--anyone--that's a part of him is beautiful. And you sure as hell deserve to live your own life, too. And, well, if you'll have me..." You blushed, looking down. "...I would really, really like to get to know you better, Jake Lockley."
Silence smothered you, wrapping its invisible claws around your neck, and you now fully understood what people meant when they say something takes forever. You thought it would be easier and much less frightening if the ground actually opened up and swallowed you whole, but Jake finally put you out of your misery, his hand turning off the shower and a low chuckle bubbling out of him.
"Well... Damn." He smirked, cocking his head down at you, though his smug demeanour couldn't mask the rosiness that dusted his cheeks. "You really do like me and Steven, huh, querida? Or maybe it's just your boobs up against me that's convincing me."
"Well, if it's helping you to believe me, then I'm not complaining." You giggled, wrapping your arms around his neck, pushing your breasts against him. Both of your breaths stuttered at the close, intimate contact, and you whimpered as his hands landed on your hips, callused fingers squeezing your soft flesh.
"Dios mío..." He growled lowly, his hands slowly, reverently travelling up the curves of your body, leaving a burning wake, before dipping once more and giving your ass a hard smack.
"Ah..!" You gasped, lurching forward, your face bumping against his solid chest. You felt his chest vibrate as a deep laugh rumbled out of him, one hand fisting your hair and pulling your head back.
"I ain't lying when I said I'm not your sweet, sensitive boyfriend." There was mania in his eyes, baring shiny white teeth as he grinned widely at you; like a shark who's smelled blood--your blood--from a mile away, he's set his target and can't be satisfied by anything, anyone else. "Then again, if you could see Steven's thoughts like I can, 'sweet and sensitive' aren't completely accurate for him."
You gulped, but not from fear. You squeezed your thighs together, pupils dilating as you stared up at Jake. "I-I don't mind if you or Steven aren't sweet and sensitive. I wanna be treated nice, but there are plenty of ways 'nice' can be translated to..." You placed a hand on his abs, lips parting as you traced along his taut muscles, looking like some fucking Greek sculpture--a god--with the way his wet body shimmered a divine bronze. "Don't you think so...Papi?"
With no warning, you felt the air get knocked out of you as his lips collided with yours, attacking you; tongues intertwining with a clash of teeth, the moist smack of your lips harmonizing with the vulgar moans Jake drew out of you.
You felt Jake's neediness, the desperation underlying his roughness--as if this was not just the first, but the only time he'd get to kiss you and have you for himself.
As if you'd ever allow for this to be the only time.
Your hands fell to his shoulders, nails breaking his skin and marking him with crescent indents. He groaned as you did, kissing you with even more fervour, fiery passion never ceasing as you both chased after that hellish ecstasy; seizing, bruising, suffocating you.
More, more, more. Giving and taking, taking, taking.
You just could never have enough, clueless as to where you started and Jake ended, Jake's tongue practically down your throat now. You know you needed air, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, but your body refused.
If this was how you died, then you'd die an elated woman.
But Jake suddenly pulled away from you, making you whine loudly. Your hands pawed at his chest, tears springing to your eyes and your ears couldn't even register the pitiful pleas that tumbled out of your mouth for more, more, more.
"You're such a fucking slut, aren't you, mi amor?" Jake snickered, one hand wrapping around your neck, thumb stroking the column of your throat, squeezing just enough to feel as if your head was floating. "Steven always saw you as this pure, innocent angel. But you're not, aren't you? You wanna be corrupted, don't you? You wanna be my pretty little devil, slut?"
"I'll be anything for you, Papi." You replied breathlessly, tears staining your scarlet cheeks. "Just be my everything."
"I'll be whatever--do whatever--for you, mi vida." His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear, his earnesty and sweetness cloying. His other hand caressed your face before he leaned down, his tongue licking away your salty tears, a reprieve from the rapturous flames that engulfed him. "Now... What do you want Papi to do?" He purred, smirking wolfishly down at you. "You want me to fuck you? Spread your little virgin pussy, fill you up with my cock? Wanna see how much you can take, cariño. Take all my cum, don't waste a single fucking drop."
As tempting as his filthy words were, as much as you wanted to, you remembered how Steven refused to have sex with you last night. Of his promise that he'll make love to you another time, when he was better prepared with condoms. And fuck, you wanted him--them--so badly. Steven and Jake. But you respected Steven and his decision, and you did also want for your lovemaking to be special.
"Can I taste your cock, Papi?" You asked, biting your lip as you met Jake's gaze shyly. You felt like a mouse and he was the lion, yet you held the power in whatever was going to happen. "I-I promise I'll take it all... Take all your cum, like a good girl."
Jake knew that you chose not to have sex with him out of respect for Steven, and that only made him love you more. He felt a pang in his heart and a smile tugged up the corners of his lips, eyes locking with yours, full of tenderness and affection.
Right then and there, he knew that you were "the one". For him and Steven.
"Get on your knees like a good fucking girl, then." He breathed, and you didn't hesitate as you instantly dropped to your knees, breasts jiggling slightly as you did. Your eyes widened as his cock stood proudly, mere inches away from your face.
"I...I'm sorry if I'm...bad." Your voice came out as a squeak, mentally slapping yourself before clearing your throat. "I-I've never done this before!"
"You better have not or else I'll hunt down and kill all the fuckers you've ever been with." He barked out a laugh, but his eyes were dark and serious.
Murder was not something Jake Lockley ever joked about, after all.
Strangely enough, you found his possessiveness...sexy. Which only meant that Jake was already corrupting you.
But was that really such a bad thing?
You shook your head, focusing on the cock--erm, task--at hand. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, hearing Jake breathe sharply through his nose as you did. You licked your lips as you watched the pre-cum drip out of the tip, so curious, so transfixed like a moth to a flame.
Your tongue then darted out, experimentally licking the milky fluid. Jake threw his head back with a guttural groan; you've barely even started, and it made you fucking giddy that he reacted like this.
"Jake..." You murmured, giggling softly. You peered up at him through your long lashes, flashing him a dazzling smile. "You're so beautiful, Jake."
"That ain't something you should call a man, mi vida." Jake scoffed, but the crimson tint on his cheeks have spread like wildfire to the tips of his ears and neck. "Especially not when you're the beautiful one."
"Going soft on me now, Jakey?" You teased lightheartedly, slowly beginning to stroke his length.
Jake's breath hitched, brows furrowing as he watched you intently, attentively. "You really are a little devil, Y/N." He chuckled deeply, and you knew that meant trouble. "You think I'm going soft? Looks like you really have a lot you need to know about me."
Like before, his hand fisted your hair, pulling your head back and making you look up at him. "Open up, slut." And you did, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You flinched slightly as his cock hit your tongue, his other hand grabbing his member and moving it around on your tongue, painting it white.
"Now you're gonna be a good cocksucker, got it?" He grinned down devilishly at you, eyes twinkling with sheer, wicked glee. "You're gonna make Papi cum, like the good whore that you are."
You nodded hastily, eagerly. And you just couldn't fucking take it anymore, jostling forward and burying his cock in your wet, hot mouth.
"That's. Fucking. It." Jake hissed, his grip on your hair tightening ever so slightly. Slowly, you began to bob your head, your mouth accommodating his size. You briefly wondered how anyone could ever even compare this to a banana or a popsicle stick; it was much bigger and your jaw started to hurt, which Jake quickly noticed as you tensed.
"Hey, relax." He cooed, reaching down to tenderly wipe away the tears you didn't realize were flowing down your cheeks. "Easy, Y/N. Relax your mouth, loosen up your throat... Fuck, yeah, that's it. Keep going, hermosa."
With newfound confidence and assurance, you gradually increased your pace. You hollowed your cheeks, your tongue sliding along the underside of his cock with each rhythmic bop of your head. Up, down, up, down--Jake's sinful groans bouncing off the walls of the bathroom, never breaking eye contact as you burned all of him into memory.
Then your surprised gasp was muffled as his foot pressed against your clit, only offering you a cocky smirk in return.
He began to move his foot, his toes budging your clit and stroking along your pussy. You moaned around his cock, grinding against his foot for more friction. Then his other hand grabbed onto your hair, both of his hands now pushing and pulling your head up, down, up, down--drool spilling down the sides of your mouth, resisting the urge to gag as the tip of Jake's cock pounded your throat, your hands floundering to his thighs as you clung on for dear life.
"Fuck, look at you... Una putita tan bonita solo para mí." He laughed, the thrusts of his hips growing fiercer, more rabid as he mercilessly fucked your throat. "Wanna taste me, mi vida? Think you've earned it?"
All you could do was nod, nod, nod--looking up at him pleadingly as you continued to desperately grind yourself against his foot, your own orgasm fast approaching.
Jake's jeering laughter soon stuttered into a heavy, gasping moan; his eyes squeezing shut as his head fell back, hitting the wall. You felt his cock twitch, releasing his seed, shooting down your throat and his balls slamming against your chin.
Your own release coated Jake's foot, your entire body shuddering from the intensity of it all and coughing as Jake finally withdrew his cock out of your mouth. But you didn't have time to revel in the afterglow as Jake's hand wrapped around your neck once more, dragging you up and crashing his lips with yours. You swapped spit and cum, but neither of you cared; the two of you groping, squeezing, clinging onto each other any which way your needy hands could fumble.
You didn't keep track anymore of who pulled away first, laughter ringing in your ears as you both grinned at each other; spent, happy.
The dawn of something new, exciting, promising shining between the two of you.
Wordlessly, Jake turned on the shower again. Then he grabbed the soap, his hands gliding along your smooth skin, his lips attaching to the crook of your neck where he could see the faint pinpricks of his handprint slowly materializing.
"Did I hurt you, mi vida?" As rough of a lover as Jake was, none of his pleasure mattered if you didn't enjoy yourself.
"A little bit." You admitted, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing the top of his head. "But it's okay. I...liked it." You blushed furiously.
"Fuck..." He grumbled, pulling away and looking very much like a kicked puppy, something that you thought only Steven was a pro at. "As cute as you are blushing like that, princesa, I'm so fucking sorry. I know I should know when to stop, when to be gentle...but those are not really what I'm good at." His eyes drifted down, and you can tell that he had a lot more to say. A lot more to regret. "I'm sorry, Y/N."
"I forgive you, Jake. Now please... Stop beating yourself up, okay?" You cupped his face, pecking his nose and meeting his gaze. "I'm not lying when I said I liked it, but don't blame yourself too much. I also should've done something, spoken up if it was too painful for me." Your fingers ran through his hair, smiling softly, lovingly at him. "All of this is new for me--for us. But it's okay, 'cause we can learn together, yeah? And if you'd like, we can come up with a safe word if things get too rough."
Jake hesitated, wondering if you were really telling the truth and not just trying to comfort him. But one look at your sweet, loving smile was more than enough for his worries and doubts to fade away, his own smile gracing his lips and his hands holding your own that were so gently, kindly cupping his face.
"I think that would be great. Any idea what the safe word should be?"
"I was thinking 'Khonshu'." Your answer made Jake snort before he bursted into laughter, you joining shortly after.
"Mi vida, if you say that bastardo's name while we're fucking, you really are gonna make me go soft." He chuckled, pinching your cheek and kissing your forehead.
"Fine, fine! Clearly coming up with a safe word is what I'm not good at. Let's figure it out together." You playfully rolled your eyes, giggling and kissing his cheek. "Anyway, I'll head out first. But don't take too long or else I'll jump in the shower with you again and for the sake of Steven's water expenses, you do not want that happening."
"On one condition, señorita. You have to wear my clothes when you get out, not Steven's." He hummed to which you laughed and nodded, but just as you were about to step out of the shower, Jake suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you back to his chest.
He leaned down to your ear, voice a low purr as he spoke; like it was a secret, a sacred oath between only the two of you.
"El amor de mi vida, mi salvavidas... Nunca te dejaré ir."
Your lips curled up into a smile, your heart swelling achingly within your chest. You turned around and leaned up on your tiptoes, your lips melting perfectly together with Jake's, becoming one.
"I love you, Jake Lockley." You whispered, sealing your oath. "Now... Don't keep me waiting. You know I'm an impatient woman."
Jake watched with a dumb, lovestruck grin as you pulled away giggling, finally stepping out of the shower and closing the bathroom door behind you. And as soon as you were gone, Jake piped up to the other occupant in the bathroom.
"Steven, ese... I know you're there, might as well say something, huh?"
'Bloody HELL, mate...' Steven's words stumbled out in a rushed, breathless breath. 'That was MENTAL.'
"You're welcome for the free show, ese." Jake chuckled, standing under the spray of the shower as he washed himself off.
Although Jake couldn't see Steven, he knew that the poor, flustered English man was having a damn heart attack at this very moment.
'That was...that was...' Steven was completely at a loss for words, making Jake smirk.
"The hottest fucking thing you've ever seen? Yeah, I know. Y/N's our sexy girlfriend, after all." Jake turned off the shower, hopping out and drying himself off with a towel. "You're right, by the way. We're both absolutely fucked."
'I'm just glad it all worked out, mate.' Steven replied, relief and happiness flooding his voice. 'You deserve her. WE deserve her. It's just...' He trailed off, sighing deeply. 'Now that I think about it, I'm worried about Marc.'
"Fuck Marc." Jake snapped, his eyes settling on the mirror, Steven's reflection staring back at him with an anxious crease between his brows and lips downturned. "We deserve to live our own lives, too, Steven. That cabrón's just gonna have to deal with it."
And deal with it, Marc will. But...
You'll have to deal with Marc, too.
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strangerererthings · 7 years
Text
summer lovin’
Summary: You spent an amazing summer in California and even got your own little summer romance.  However, you weren’t expecting him to transfer to your tiny high school in Hawkins, Indiana.
Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader
Disclaimer: I don’t own Stranger Things or it’s characters!!!
Author’s Note: I’m going to jump on requests ASAP!  I’m just taking a quick break from school work to pump out this first chapter.
Word Count: 1,702
part two/part three/part four/part five/part six/part seven
“You have to tell us all about this summer romance, Y/N!”
You grinned over at your best friend, Nancy, as she clung to your arm.  “It was nothing.  Honestly...”  You took a seat on the hood of her boyfriend’s car, holding your books to your chest.  “We just... hung out.  We went swimming, got ice cream, caught a few movies...  He taught me how to surf.”
“Does he have a car?” Carol asked, snapping her gum.
You and Nancy glanced at each other, resisting rolling your eyes.  You couldn’t stand Carol and didn’t know why she still hung around your group anymore.  You supposed it had something to do with Tommy still trying to hang around Steve.  They were leeches for popularity.  “Yeah.  This beautiful blue Camaro.”
Nancy nudged your arm with hers as she sat up on the car with you, Steve coming over and kissing her cheek.  “Are you ever going to tell us this guy’s name, Y/N?”
“Billy.  Billy Hargrove.”
“He sounds dreamy, but we need to head to first period.”  Nancy grabbed your arm and the two of you jumped down off the hood.  She kissed Steve goodbye before the two of you headed off, missing the sound of squealing tires as a blue Camaro squealed into the parking lot.  “So, tell me more about him.”  She seemed possibly more excited than you, which was pretty hard.
“Well, he has these gorgeous blue eyes and curly blonde hair.  He’s tall.  Really tall.”  You felt a pang of heartache as you continued on about Billy.  “He’s so kind and caring.  He loves his little sister, Max.  He always blasted hard rock when we were in the car together.”  You shook your head as she gripped your arm, the two of you walking into first period and taking your seats.  You sat behind her and she turned around to listen, gripping the back of her chair.  “Sometimes, I’d sneak out in the middle of the night and he’d pick me up to go to the beach and watch the stars.”  Your voice dropped to a whisper as you leaned forward so only she could hear.  “I went skinny dipping no less than thirty times this summer.”
“Y/N!”  She smacked your arm excitedly, her eyes wide.  “Did you...”
The unspoken question was obvious as you shook your head.  “He was a complete gentleman.  Never pushed and only did what I said was okay.”
Nancy shook her head as she sat back in her seat.  “Sounds too good to be true.”
This summer, your family had decided to head to California to visit your grandparents.  You had left right after school ended, getting there right in the middle of May.  Your grandparents had this beautiful house on the beach, and you’d wake up early every morning just to watch the dawn.  Eventually, you began to notice that the same guy would always be out surfing at that time.  It had taken him a week and a half for the two of you to be introduced.  You had walked to the grocery store with your aunt, who still lived with your grandparents.  As the two of you were grabbing what you needed, you ran into her old friend from high school, Susan.  Along with her was Billy and Max.  He had stared at you with such intensity, his hand fitting perfectly in yours when he shook it.  You had been hooked.  You spent all summer there, only having come back home two weeks ago.  But, you had called Nancy every night you could, since she was dying to hear all the details.
You watched as her eyes caught on the empty chair across the aisle, and you reached forward to grab her hand.  “I miss her, too.”
Nancy simply nodded, though you could see tears rimming her eyes.  The rest of the class went quiet as the teacher walked in.
You, Nancy, and Barb had all been a trio up until she had disappeared last year.  You three met in kindergarten, and from there, it was history.  You spent every spare minute you all could together, to the point of your parents joking that you three were sisters separated from birth.  Last year had been hard on the two of you when she went missing.  It was part of the reason your parents wanted to take such a long vacation.  They wanted to get you away from Hawkins for a bit.
The rest of the day went fairly normal until lunch.  You followed Nancy out of the lunch line with your trays, heading to where Steve, Tommy, and Carol were already sitting.  Unsurprisingly, Jonathan Byers was sitting alone at the other end of the cafeteria.  Despite Nancy’s attempts, he didn’t seem too keen on sitting with your group of friends.  As you took your seat, Tommy looked up to smirk at you.  “Hey, Y/N, have you met the new guy?”
You shook your head no, a frown playing on your lips.  “New guy?  Since when do we get new people in Hawkins, Indiana?”  You sat down on the edge of the bench.  “Who the hell wants to move to Hawkins, of all places?”
“Hey, there he is now,” Carol purred as she pointed over to where a bunch of guys were leaving the lunch line.  There was a group of five or six guys and Carol made a point to stand up to wave them over.
As they got closer, you saw familiar blonde curls towards the back.  As the group broke up a bit, you stood up, your heart leaping in your chest.  “Billy?!”
The boy in question froze as all the guys turned to look at him.  His eyes locked on yours, and he immediately rushed to you.  “Y/N?!  What are you doing here?”
“I live here!”  You were smiling wider than you ever had before as he set his tray down, his hands moving to grab yours.  “What are you doing here?”
“I moved here a week ago with my family.”  His eyes were just as big and blue as ever and God, that smile could light up a city.
You shook your head as you moved closer.  This was more than you ever could’ve dreamed.  “Why didn’t you call me?!  We could’ve--I don’t know!”  You laughed, rubbing his arm.
He suddenly seemed to become hyperaware of what he was doing as he looked around him.  Billy took a step back, chuckling nonchalantly as he pulled out a cigarette from his back pocket.  “You know how it is, baby girl.  I don’t have any ties.  Don’t like being kept like an animal.”
“Billy?”  Your smile dropped to a frown as he took a step back and you shook your head.  “What’s going on?”
“You tell me, sweetheart.  We have a few little, uh, trysts at the beach and suddenly you think we’re married, or something.”  The guys around Billy were clapping him on his back and whistling as he lit his cigarette, taking a long drag.
You took a few steps backwards, bumping into the table.  “I...  I don’t understand.”
“Listen, baby...  You were a good lay.  Let me know if you ever wanna go again.”  Billy walked forward, grabbing your hips and pulling you so you were pressed up against.  “This time there won’t be any sand getting everywhere, huh?”
You pushed him away angrily, your cheeks flaming.  “You’re bullshit, Billy Hargrove.”  You pushed him again, tears rimming your eyes.  “You hear me?!  BULLSHIT!”  With that, you ran out of the cafeteria, ignoring the laughs of Tommy, Carol, and the rest of the guys that now seemed to makeup Billy’s new little posse.
“Y/N!  Y/N, wait up!”  Nancy called as she ran out after you.  “Y/N, come on!”
You pushed your way into the girl’s bathroom, locking yourself into a stall before you broke down sobbing.  You leaned your head into your hands, wiping your eyes.  “Go away!”  You shouted as you heard the bathroom door slam open.  With your luck, Carol would’ve rounded up Becky, Tina, and Vicki to come humiliate you some more.
“Y/N...  It’s me, Nancy.”  There was a knock on the bathroom stall as Nancy stood in front of it, but you didn’t move.  “Y/N, boys are dickheads.  You know that.  I”m sorry that this Billy kid feels like he needs to show off or whatever.  You don’t deserve it.”
You slowly stood up, pulling yourself off the tile before walking to the door and opening it.  Nancy pulled you into a tight hug when she saw your tear-stained face.  “He called me baby...  He always called me baby...”  You burst into another round of tears and Nancy could do nothing except rub your back, whispering that it was all going to be okay.
Back in the cafeteria, Steve stood up as he watched the two of you run out.  He stepped up to Billy as he pushed his hands against his chest.  “Dude, what the hell is your issue?”
Billy took another drag, looking Steve up and down slowly.  “You got an issue, pretty boy?”
He nodded as he put his hands on his hips.  “Yeah, what the hell was that?  You clearly know Y/N and it was obviously something more than just a summer hookup.”
The tanned Californian stepped closer so he was nose to nose with Steve.  “Listen, Harrington.  She was a good lay.  That’s it.  If she read more into it...”  He laughed as he looked back at his boys.  “Then that’s her problem.  Not mine.”
Steve scoffed, looking at Billy in disgust before he ran out of the cafeteria to find you and Nancy.  Billy watched after him, his eyes softening a bit before one of the guys clapped him on the back.  He turned back to them, putting on a smirk as he laughed.  “Crazy bitch, huh?”
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legendairily · 7 years
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yooo i done got tagged by @pikarasaaa~! this one was rly fun to do, thank you! 1. Favorite Anime? dbz! its not necessarily the best animu ive seen, but it holds a special place in my heart and is probably the fandom I've consistently been active in the longest 2. Your Worst Anime? this ones hard..... the worst anime that I've watched all the way thru was probably owari no seraph? in its defense it had an okay manga, the anime was just super bleh. 3. Do you read the manga that goes along with the anime you watch? a lot of the time, yeah! the only reason i wouldn't read it is not liking the series enough or not liking the manga's art 4. Most Favorite Genres? it depends tbh. for an anime, it would be shounen/action. for manga, my favs are horror and drama! 5. Least Favorite Genres? i suppose just ecchi and romance (definitely some exceptions for romance tho, like if its combined w comedy. that shit's great) 6. Favorite Character? honestly my whole life I've had the hardest time making decisions, so I'm surprised I've had the same fav character for so long... its ya boi takizawa. 7. Least Favorite Character? I've...never really thought about this? but now that I think about it?? shou tucker. definitely. 8. Qualities You Like in a Character? ooooh lots of em (now watch as i totally have no idea how to verbalize any of them) my fav type of character is the antihero, mostly because they usually have a similar personality? stubborn, assholish, but ultimately not evil. so i guess i like characters that are jerks but not COMPLETELY insufferable? and deep down inside are actually good people? (not to mention antiheroes usually have some sort of 'tragic backstory' and I'm an angst-lovin son of a gun.) i love character analysis, so i could go on forever....... 9. Short or Long Anime? i gotta say short anime. i love getting everything i need to know from a series in one quick dose y'know? so i can go straight to the fanart/fics asap, lmao 10. Anime or Manga? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ depends? so both! 11. How do you choose the anime you watch? either i'll hear about it on tumblr or i'll see something interesting when browsing myanimelist 12. Skip or listen to the intros/outros? generally i listen to em. i have to really not like the song/visuals to skip them usually 13. How do you cope if your friends or family don’t like you watching anime? im super lucky to have a mom that enjoys watching anime w me (she looves black butler lmao), and my dad doesn't really care. i tend to not share my nerdiness w friends unless they bring it up....so I'm not entirely sure? i would probably feel pretty bad about myself cuz self-confidence just isn't a thing i have. but ultimately, enjoy what makes you happy (if its not...illegal and stuff) and don't let ppl spoil ya fun! 14. Do you stop an anime midway if you don’t like it? it rarely happens but yeah. tho usually the reason i don't like a series is because a character i liked died or something, so i'll try to get over myself and enjoy the rest of the series, lol thanks again for the tag! anime related these-thingies are lotsa fun to do. I'll tag @celestia-oreo @fullmetal-trash-in-grey @ukinea @cleansahina @mssparkleyoghurt ! If ya want to~
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Blink Blink
So yeah. I'm just a guy named Bruce. Yesterday I was in my early twenties, just got out of the Army, and by last night my mid thirties and this morning when I woke up I was 41. It's 8:37 p.m. on Nov. 6th, 2017 and I'm now 46. Holy F!@#$ S$#@. What the hell happened?
One minute I'm bumping chairs at a ski resort in Utah for a living, and living for the next powder turn and suddenly I'm holding my newborn son for the first time in Northern Cali. I traded my beloved drugs in for a baby? Really? Me? How the hell did this happen?
Blink.
Blink Blink. What's for lunch. Blink
I'm standing in line at some fast food restaurant and 2 strange kids are calling me Dad and they seem to be with a pretty milf who seems to think we know each other. Who is this? Why is her butt so big? Surely this isn't my wife is it? She's kinda milfy and all but a minute ago I was lovin' and leavin' the hottest strippers in town. This just isn't my style. Is it? Whoa, and she's pregnant?
Blink.
I walked out to my... WTF? A beige minivan? Where the hell is my badass racecar? Those kids and that lady all got in too along with my son who was no longer even slightly interested in me. He was enamored with the older boy and fighting with the younger girl that got into the car, er, minivan with us. Blink. And just how exactly did he go from a 3 year old to a 10 year old between breakfast and lunch I will never know.
Blink. Blink.
I took the left hard as if I'd done it before and hit the speed bumps as if they weren't there and pulled into the driveway of a big 2 story house within an upper middle class golf course community. WTF? I feel the bulge of something in my front pocket so I reach in and pull out a wad of money. I'm rich? Me? Really?  Where the hell was I when all this was taking place? Blink Blink.
What do I do for work these days? Blink. Oh shit, speaking of which, my phone is full of messages I have to deal with asap.
Blink.
I open the door and tell the lady, "I'm going to work, I'm freaking swamped!" She kisses me on the cheek and says "Me too...." She said a bunch of other things too but I wasn't paying attention. I headed straight for my desk, sat down and started making calls. I work from home? No WAY!! COOL!! Blink. I look over at my wife and she's sitting at a desk and on the phone too. Wait a minute. We BOTH work from home?
Blkink Blink. Blink. As I got off what seemed like the longest phone call of my life I'm brought back to reality by the incessant crying o a baby. That baby! The one halfway between me and the wife. Somehow I had my guitar strapped on and the lady, I mean my wife was looking pissed off. Oh shit. I got up and tried to calm the baby. only to be told that I was doing it wrong. Blink. In fact it seemed I was doing everything wrong. I felt miserable. The wife looked miserable and the kids were all alone in their own rooms plugged in to their various devices. "I gotta get out of here, I'm going to band practice, see ya."
Bye. Be safe.  Blink.
I will. I love you.
Good, at least I was still in a band. I need a good drink and a better jam tonight. Blink.
I hear the words of wisdom escaping my lips as I lecture a young man, maybe 19, about the folly of doing hard drugs, as I pound the last shot before barf time. My ritual. Drink until I barf every friday before resigning to another week of that crazy as fuck work from home right next to your wife the stranger and your baby. Brutal. Blink
It's next week and that young man has that pipe up to his lips. I think about lecturing him again, think twice and instead say "Lemme see that shit."
Suddenly this music flowing from my hands, whoa! I'm shreddin'! I get home, feeling sober and alert. Hyper alert. I write a couple of new songs, play with the kids and the dogs and go to bed wide awake and ready to make love to the wife. I can go all night!!
Blink.
The thing about circling the drain is that the ride is fun...Until you realize what's at the end of the ride. The drain part. Yikes.
Blink.
It's my wifes birthday, a little after midnight and I'm holding a knife and sneaking onto her driveway. I slash all 4 tires of her new boyfriends car and felt 100% justified and RIGHT in doing so.I may have turned the party up but I never cheated. Blink blink.
I'm out to dinner now with a hot little 25 year old , 18 years younger than me when some dude comes in and serves me. Restraining orders? Divorce?Supervised visitation? WTF? People must die. This isn't going to work.
Blink Blink. Courtrooms, judges, mediators, counselors.The earth is flat, My girlfriend shoots me when I kick her out for cheating on me. Pretty much everyone hates me and if they don't it's only because they haven't spent enough time with the wife to  convince them I'm satan.
Blink Blink. I'm asking strangers for cash at a gas station, even trying to sell a guitar. I'm only about 40 miles away from the rehab center. I can make it with less than $5 gas.
Blink. Suddenly I'm in the room telling all of these sober people how I was gonna clean up, go jhome and get my wife back. 100% certain this was true. Blink.
I'm home now for a couple months and today is moving day. Moving back in with the wife. What a miracle!
Blink. This is my house she says. I like it here." Okay I said, but we need a neutral home where I can be comfortable too. " No. She says. Not going to happen. Blink.Blink. A year of sobriety. You know what? I think I should celebrate!
The glass pipe hits my lips. Hello old friend! The songs, the sex, the music the...Getting caught red handed. The yelling. The screaming. The lying. The hardening. The arguing. The justifying. The ignoring. The dying. The defeat. Blink. Moving day. Blink. Fired again. Blink. Fired again. Blink. Blink Blink blinkblibnkblinkvblinkblink. Rent was due 6 days ago. I have nothing. I have started a business from a welfare check and it's just a matter of time before. ...Blink Blink. Blink.
Fuck. Tomorrow I'll be 62. If I'm lucky. Blink. WTF.
Blink.
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