#ps. bonus points if rose had a crush on jade only for that to also go down the toilet :p

[eridan-amporaa]

Okay wait that's actually REALLY funny-

Assuming no SBURB but the relations are still kinda there, Rose's mom and Dave's bro are still siblings but have a strained relationship. If Dave is still their youngest sibling and not "Bro'"'s son, that would make him Rose's uncle (cue many many jokes about that). If he is Bro's son, Dave and Rose are cousins (I think. Family trees confuse me)

Meanwhile Jade's grandpa is still alive and maybe in contact with John and his dad? Idk if he found out Jade was friend's with his sister's grandson and she wanted to see him he'd probably take her. Jade and John likely find out they're related from that

John's dad and Rose's mom eventually get together at some point, making John and Rose step-siblings

Maybe Dave's bro eventually gets work under a company Jade's grandpa owns and unironically keeps making passes at gramps, who is too much of an old coot to realize, meanwhile Dave is under five levels of irony and thinks it's part of a long haul joke on his brother's part. Jade is the only one who knows it's genuine and it annoys her to no end that her grandpa has far too thick a skull to pick up on it

ok but this is so gogdamn funny actually. fucked up ectobiological bullshit family trees be like that sometimes

so there rose n dave would be cousins, and john and jade would be... 2nd cousins? smthn like that i think

like. jade finally gets to visit john and grandpas just talking to johns dad like "how ya doin nephew" and john and jade just do a double take like. "hes your fucking WHAT"

bro hitting on grandpa harley 💀 i would just feel. so bad for everyone involved. except bro he can go eat shit

also, alternative idea: rose n dave are siblings, there was a divorce involved (cuz bro and mom lalonde/dirk and roxy arent actually related i think??? like im all for the sib headcanons but its kinda a thing in the comic that roxy has a thing for dirk so). john and jade are also siblings. how? fuck if I know i just think it would be really funny if like. dave had a crush on both harleyberts. and then became their goddamn stepsibling

poor fuckin guy lmaooooo