#pspspssp come to ikea i promise i won’t kill you🥰

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IVE QUIT MY JOB

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Its a good thing i dont get hungover cause i do not think the ikea dishes woudl be able to handle a hungover alex whos foaming at the mouth over michael sheen

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Neck problems, a cold and a micheal sheen obsession all in one week? God smites his strongest adversaries the hardest

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FINAL DAY HASTA LA VISTA CUNTS

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I’m either far more attractive than I think or i have unnerving eyes cause customers keep freezing like startled animals when i turn my eyes on them. Considering i wear the equivilant of a condom on my head im guessing its the latter

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V For Vendetta but its me forcing ikea to pay the saving childrens fund the max amount i can before i leave in two weeks

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THE SUMMERMENUE AT IKEA IS DEAD!! LORD BE PRAISED

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Lost in ikea singing the swedish national anthem at the top of my lungs

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THERES THIS BOSS AT MY WORK WHO. HES SO GAY. LIKE. IVE BEEN STARING AT HIM LIKE WHITNEY CHEWSTON LIKE

IM LAUGHING SO HARD I JUST REALISED HE WALKS LIKE FUCKING CROWLEY. AHHAHAHAHHA. ICON

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Banged up my hand today i attract misfortune like a flower does a bee. I feel like Bella. Jesus. Off to seduce my boss ig

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I love how happy you are! Thanks babe im borderline hysterical

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hour 1 of working retail: ahahahaha could be worse it pays ig

hour 9: im going to kill everyone in this building and then myself

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90% of my job is just teaching people how to blip their goddamn cards HOW HARD CAN IT BE AAAAAAH i love my job