#publicschoolishell

[iotnonii]

Nothing is wilder than reading hardcore gay fanfiction during the Star Spangled Banner part of an American public school’s pep rally

[i-have-a-concern-blog]

Things I have heard or seen in Public School:

I always get a good laugh out of lists like these when talking about public schools, so here are some personal ones from my public school.

1. “Mmmm peaches...why the fuck did I get peaches?”

 2. “I’m not empathetic, I’m just pathetic.”

3. “So basically, she microwaved a hamster.”

4. “Hey dude, one girl, one chair, three legs, what do you think?”

5.  I have seen a female teacher wear a skin-tight, cheetah print, leather dress dirty dance like her life depended on it. 

6. A friend in my band got on the field during intermission for a competition and performed a magic mike dance to the letter. (Choreography, no stripping)

7. In Junior high, we were settled in the old high school and there was a dirt and stone tunnel that extended all the way under the school and connected to the basement. Because my speech and debate class was in the basement, I passed by the (Deadbolted and chained) door every day. One day, it was open and no one, not even the teacher could explain why.

8. We got shockers (the candy)  banned from all vending machines because kids wouldn’t stop throwing the sign up in all school-related pictures. 

9. Likewise, for an entire year, no one could say mayonnaise or else they’d be sent to the office (regardless of how they meant it).

10. In high school, the last day before the summer break was usually a half-day spent in a chosen room (you could watch a movie, play games, go to the park, etc). I always chose one with my choir teacher (she makes some fantastic snacks not gonna lie). Anyway, my room got half-day fun day banned because in 4 hours we managed to shatter 2 lights (on a ceiling over 20 feet high), have a kid fall down 2 flights of stairs with minimal injuries, and apparently, while most of us were throwing dodgeballs at one another, someone went to the bathrooms just outside the room and tore every. single. door. off. the. stalls. 

11. A couple of students got into a fistfight in front of my locker, everyone around stared blankly before criticizing the brawlers for having shitty fighting form. 

12. A kid got tazed for charging our resource officer. 

13. While I was away for a singing preformance my group got held up overnight for tornadic activity around the school and the freeway. While we were gone, the school spent most of the performance day in the tornado shelter. 2 kids managed to escape teacher notice and snuck into the office and stole over 3,000 dollars from the safe. 

14. For the senior prank, a group of kids bought a shit ton of aluminum foil and covered an entire classroom (individually wrapped textbooks, desks, pencils, you get the idea). The reason behind this was the teacher of the said classroom made all of their tests fill in the blank over 40-60 page chapters. Their most popular quote (that pissed off every student to walk through the door) was that the world had no “gray” areas. Therefore, said pranksters wrote on one aluminum foil wall “Does this count as a gray area?”

15. Also with senior pranking, The halls were covered in plastic wrap from locker to locker. It was almost impossible for the pranksters to get free of their trap.

I can’t think of any more right now, but you’re free to add.