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prettywordsyouleft · 2 years

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Doctor’s Orders [M](Just Friends January)

Pairing: Kim Junmyeon x female reader

Genre: romance / fluff / friends to lovers / doctor au

Warnings: medical terms and mention of a small procedure, talk about masturbation, suggestive with smut scene that fades to black, mention of the current pandemic

Author’s Notes: this was also known as Surrender during production.

Word count: 5431

Nothing Mundane | Do It | Waiting For You | Doctor’s Orders

Looking around the waiting room, you attempted to settle your nerves by people watching. There was a lot of activity, given you were in a hospital. People old and young entered through the department’s front doors, busily making their way to their own appointments or to visit loved ones.

You gripped your shaky hands more tightly together in your lap.

“Sorry, if you don’t have a vaccine pass, I can’t let your wife in today,” said a nurse, and you turned to the elderly couple who were trying to check into your waiting area. The nurse’s smile was polite yet strained. “You’re a patient Mr Omar, so you’re able to stay, but if your support person doesn’t have a—”

“But she’s my wife,” Mr Omar cut in, his hand that clasped the little woman at his side shaking as he gripped her tighter, as if some invisible force would pull them apart. “I’m not going to make her leave.”

“Could she wait out in the car?” the nurse offered, and Mr Omar shook his head firmly. “I’m sorry, it’s the new government rules that—”

“I won’t attend my appointment then. Let’s go, Lucille,” Mr Omar announced, tugging his wife away from the reception and the stunned nurse.

You knew you should be concerned that he was forgoing a procedure. The nurse was only sticking to current admittance protocols too. But the way the old man looked at his wife and refused to be apart from her for any more than he would have been required made your heart thump faster. It was a ridiculous notion, as you should have only felt the frustration of the elderly couple being let down by the people around them by not helping them get the pass they needed to show when entering buildings now that the pandemic was increasing. So many who didn’t have family or friends looking out for them were not quite aware of how to get such passes when they didn’t rely on the digital age as the rest of society did. And you were frustrated, but the way your chest felt tight, and your eyes watched the little old couple depart towards the exit, sharing looks and small nods at one another, you realised the romantic in you was touched by his refusal, even if it was logically foolish. If he needed treatment, he’d have to go back on the waiting list, and with how things ran in the hospital right now, you knew that could perhaps be months away.

They had almost made it to the door when a doctor stepped towards them. You sat up, unable to hear the conversation, but you were smiling behind your mask, your lips spreading further into a grin when the couple turned around. Whatever the doctor had said worked, and Mr Omar was back at the counter after helping his wife onto a bench across the department and checking in to his appointment. You waited a moment, leaning towards the man who took the empty chair beside you.

“What did you say?”

Even behind his mask, you could see the smile in his eyes. Junmyeon shrugged. “I told him that his wife could sit on that chair over there because it’s not technically part of this waiting area.”

“Doctor Kim, are you possibly a genius?” you wondered, and you could tell he liked the praise by the way his chest puffed out a little.

“Maybe I couldn’t bear to see a little couple separated like that. I overheard his wife scolding him for being a fool when he’d already waited this long to be seen.”

“Ah, so there is a soft side to the almighty Kim Junmyeon after all,” you teased, watching him deflate and roll his eyes.

“Should I leave?”

Reaching out for his hand instantly, you sighed at how warm he felt against your cool skin. “No. Don’t.”

“I’m more of a softie than you give me credit for, Y/N. I had to arrange with Doctor Langley to take over my morning patients to be here for you. You know how much I hate talking to that witch for anything, let alone a favour.”

“I’m forever in your debt. Whatever should I do to show my gratitude?”

“Take my rostered shift on Saturday night. I haven’t had a date in over a year, and I’m never going to find my own little wife like that if I’m always working,” Junmyeon said, and you laughed, knowing that after today, you wouldn’t be coming back to the hospital for some time.

“You chose to be a doctor. You should have realised it’s not really like Grey’s Anatomy within a hospital. It’s just a whole lot of long shifts and no time for anything but sleep and food when you’re not on the clock.”

“If only my best friend wasn’t so needy for my time so often, maybe I could date more,” he muttered, though it was only in jest. You nudged him playfully before looking at the clock again. His tone turned solemn. “What’s a badass doctor like yourself doing looking so worried, hm?”

Curling your injured hand into yourself, you smiled weakly, thankful your mask hid your face. Still, Junmyeon had known you for almost two decades now. He could read your emotions with one look. Placing his other warm hand over yours, he patted you fondly. “It’s going to be fine. You’ll have this procedure done and rest your hand for a bit and be back to work in no time, Y/N.”

“What if I’m not? What if I’m stuck on clinic days and reports for the rest of my career?”

The injury to your wrist had taken you off the surgical roster as soon as you showed signs of fatigue. You agreed with the decision, knowing the last thing patients and their family members needed was a doctor doing less than a precise job. Your hand had shaken far too much in the operating room the last time, and you were still mortified from the senior surgeon sending you out. Thankfully, there was still a lot you could do as a doctor, but you had lived and breathed as a surgeon for years now. You were good at fixing patients and had the steadiest hand anyone had seen in this hospital.

Had.

“You and I both know you won’t rest until you’re back in the OR, Y/N,” Junmyeon reminded you with a sigh. “But it might take some time, that’s all. And whilst you’re not on the surgical team, at least you get more time with me.”

“Weren’t you just complaining that I, as your best friend, take up too much of your precious time?”

“At least with you, I don’t get rejected for being too busy or boring,” he admitted, and you turned to your friend, shaking your head softly.

Junmyeon was the ultimate catch, even you could admit so. Whilst you knew too much about him to ever have gone there, you could appreciate he had everything going for him. He was handsome, capable, kind, and could offer anyone a good life at his side. You’d stuck by him this long because of all that. He was the best person in your life, and you couldn’t wait for him to find someone to love and appreciate him as he wanted. You had often envisioned what life would be like when you were both married, had kids, and would meet up with your families for vacations and special occasions. You knew Junmyeon would always be the rock in your life.

Blinking back your emotions, you rested your head on his shoulder. “Thank you for coming down today.”

“Sweetheart, there’s no place I need to be but here.”

You had no sense of where the day had gone. When you opened your eyes next, you were in your bed, and one glance out your bedroom windows showed it was now nighttime. How did you get back here?

You heard sounds coming from the living area and smiled softly. Junmyeon.

Being careful with your hand that was heavily bandaged, you eased yourself out from under the covers and padded tiredly into your living room, finding Junmyeon in the kitchen preparing dinner. He glanced up at your arrival and examined you from head to toe. “How are you doing?”

“Did you bring me home?”

He chuckled. “You haven’t had sedation much before, have you? I had to carry you out to my car and bring you home because you didn’t wake up as easily as everyone expected.”

“Oh God. Now everyone’s going to gossip about that when I return to work,” you groaned, bringing your hands up to cover your face and hissing at the pull of your surgical site. You looked at it and then back at Junmyeon. “Did everything go okay? I don’t remember a thing.”

“Probably best that you don’t,” he replied quietly before nodding. “They managed to decompress the nerves and believe you’ll heal relatively well. It’s still going to be a slow recovery, so no using that hand for the next week.”

“Are those doctor’s orders?” you asked, coming around the kitchen island to his side to inhale the smell of dinner. “This looks delicious.”

Junmyeon grinned. “You better listen to me. I’m a qualified doctor. What I say goes.”

“Huh. I didn’t know you were qualified to do anything but be a pain in my ass.”

“Right, that’s it, I’m going,” he announced with mock annoyance. “After carrying you everywhere today—”

“Are you insisting those muscles you work on at the gym each day can’t handle my weight?”

“Where’s my thank you?” he prompted, and you rolled your eyes, stepping up onto your toes to place a kiss on his cheek. Junmyeon nodded and went back to tending the food. “That’s more like it.”

You were contemplative for a few minutes before blowing out a heavy exhale. “You know, I’ve never been jealous of my sister and her marriage. I couldn’t fathom getting married at the age she did.”

Junmyeon arched an eyebrow. “Whatever was taking up your time when you were twenty-three?”

“Don’t remind me of med school hell, Myeon! I like that now I at least shower every day and eat more than ramen over textbooks.”

“It helps your sister never aspired to be a surgeon, Y/N.”

“No, and I’m not dismissing her life choices either. But being as independent as I am has come and bit me in the ass, hasn’t it? I don’t have anyone in my world that I can rely on when I’m unwell or injured.”

Junmyeon huffed indignantly. “What am I then? Was I not the one who made sure you ate when you were down with strep throat last year? And you were the one who temporarily moved in with me and helped me when my back went out too.”

“You know what I mean,” you said after giving him a pointed look. “My sister has a husband. A partner. A person she lives with and raises her children with. We’re both in our thirties, and sure, we have the accolades, but do we have the rest of it?”

“Why do you think I want Saturday night off? My Mum organised me another blind date.”

You laughed. “Remember your last one?”

“Please don’t remind me of that one,” he whined as he dished up dinner. Carrying the plates over to your dining table, you frowned when he placed the meals adjacent from the other instead of across the table like usual. He gave you a smirk. “In case you need me to feed you too.”

“I hate you,” you breathed out, picking up your fork in your non-dominant hand and proceeding to eat. After a couple of mouthfuls, you returned to the dating topic. “So, you have a good feeling about this one?”

“She sounds really interesting. And her father is a doctor, so maybe she’ll come equipped with an understanding of my lifestyle.”

You nodded. “I hope it goes well for you. If you need an SOS, I’ll be home all night long.”

“You better be. That hand of yours needs complete rest.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” you said sardonically, shaking your head. “Here I thought you’d need a wingman. Double dates are fun.”

“And who will you find at such short notice?”

“Don’t act as if I’m not capable of wooing men,” you responded, and Junmyeon chuckled again. You shrugged. “You’re right. I’ll sit this one out. Come to me if it ends up being a dead end, and I’ll cheer you up.”

Junmyeon grinned. “Deal. You better have our favourite movie and snacks on the ready.”

Opening your front door, you cocked your head to the side. “Really? It’s not even eight.”

Stepping into your home, Junmyeon shrugged off his coat and shoes and loosened off a couple of buttons on his shirt before turning back to you. “Wine?”

“That bad?” you enquired with a nod in the direction to your wine fridge. Junmyeon worked his way around your kitchen, bringing a bottle and two glasses over to the couch where you had popcorn, m&m’s and Netflix pulled up.

“She bought her dog to dinner.”

“You love dogs,” you replied as Junmyeon threw himself down on the couch beside you after placing down what he held and rolled his head in your direction. “What?”

“It wasn’t a dog-friendly restaurant, Y/N. And she insisted they bring over an extra chair for the little gremlin. She even ordered a meal for the dog. Can you believe it? I bought steak for a Pomeranian!”

Stifling your laughter, you leaned forward for some m&m’s and pushed them into his mouth. “You need some sweetness to get rid of that bitterness, Doctor Kim.”

“Doctor’s orders?” he asked, and you nodded firmly. “I’m going to drink all this wine. That’s how I feel right now.”

“No, you won’t because I want some too. Start pouring.”

After settling into the movie and a full glass of wine later, Junmyeon sighed heavily. “You know the other day when you talked about being too independent?”

“Mm?”

“Maybe we both have messed up. I thought I’d be married by now.”

“You’re thirty-seven, Myeon. Not ancient. You still have plenty of marrying years ahead of you.”

He swivelled towards you, the movie now forgotten. “Yeah, but don’t you find yourself lonely?”

“Not right now,” you answered and hissed when he shunted you. “Be careful of the injured, Myeon!”

“I’m being serious.”

“Of course, I get lonely. I was the one who pointed out the other day that I feel like I’m missing some things in my life. You fulfil mostly everything, though.”

“Mostly?”

“My other best friend is battery operated and helps with the rest,” you replied, and Junmyeon choked on the wine he had been inhaling. You cackled at his bewildered expression. “What? I could use my hand like you do too, but he’s nicer.”

“I cannot believe you just said that.”

“We never hold back from each other. Please don’t tell me you had some image of me being a celibate, born-again virgin or something.”

Junmyeon coughed loudly, placing down his wine glass. “For your information, no. I don’t think of you like that. Clearly, you have if you think about my hand, and uh—”

“No,” you cut in, shaking your head. “I’ve never thought of you like that before. But we’re humans with needs. You can’t tell me you don’t use your hand.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“And I use a vibrator. Big deal,” you answered with a nonchalant shrug.

“Do you think that will change for us any time soon?” he wondered, and you glanced at Junmyeon. “I don’t want to be best friends with my hand, as you so graciously put it.”

“Thought you were getting your itches scratched by that nurse? What’s her name?”

Junmyeon scrunched his face up. “Danielle? She was alright at first but started to cross boundaries when she’d bring me lunch and leave little notes asking how my day was. I didn’t want to lead her on that it could be more than just a hookup.”

“Poor Danielle must be so broken-hearted,” you lamented jokingly before smirking at Junmyeon. “So, what’s stopping you from going onto another faculty member, Doctor McHottie?”

“Please don’t ever call me that again,” he pleaded with a groan. “You pointed out we don’t work on a TV show, so let’s keep it to that. Besides, what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Who’s scratching your itches?” he questioned, and you sat up, hiking a thumb over your shoulder.

“Do you want to meet him? He’s a little shy, so he hides in my nightstand table. I’ll go—”

Laughing, Junmyeon encircled your waist with his arms and pulled you back down into him, your body nestling into his comfortably. Junmyeon ran his thumb in a circular motion over your side until you sighed with content. “You know, it’s a shame you can’t scratch my itches, Myeon.”

“You that desperate to say goodbye to your other best friend?”

“Not really,” you answered with a yawn, nuzzling his shoulder until you found the perfect spot for your head. “But you do everything else with me. It’s a shame we’ve never been romantically inclined with the other. It would solve our issues, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah. I guess it would.”

You woke up wrapped up in a warm body, your lips spreading out into a sleepy smile as you turned into the bicep that had made for a fantastic pillow alternative and pressed a kiss into Junmyeon’s smooth skin. His body heat was one of the things you missed the most when he didn’t stay with you. Even with all your partners over the years, you hadn’t yet come across someone who could keep you as warm and comfortable all night as your best friend did.

“Don’t tempt me with those lips of yours,” a groggy voice insisted somewhere above you, and you shifted a little, kissing another part of his skin, the side of his pec that was showing out of the singlet he’d worn to bed with you. “Ugh, Y/N!”

“What? It’s not the first time I’ve kissed you awake,” you reminded, feeling the arm over your waist curling around your hip. You laughed when your backside grazed against Junmyeon’s morning wood. “Oooh, does my other best friend have some stiff competition this morning?”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“How you can come up with such big words first thing always surprises me, Doctor Kim. Anyway, thank you for your service of keeping me warm all night. Now get up and go off to the gym before you don’t.”

“You coming too?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t been because of my hand being so sore, but I miss it. Should I spend an hour on the treadmill whilst you do— is it arm day today?”

You rolled around to face him. Junmyeon smiled at you as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Back day.”

“Well, I suppose my hand can’t be irritated if I just do a cardio session, right?”

“I’ll keep an eye on you. Any signs of pain, and I’ll bring you back here.”

“You’re too good for me, Myeon.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Rude!” you cried, elbowing him. He grunted before hauling you both out of bed. You squeaked and waited for him to deposit you in your bathroom.

“I’ll just go down to mine and then meet you at the gym?” You nodded, and Junmyeon pulled on the clothing he’d discarded last night and slipped out of your apartment.

You managed to get yourself refreshed enough and changed into your gym attire before heading into the elevator, smiling when it stopped two floors below yours. Junmyeon stepped in, and you laughed. “I thought you were meeting me at the gym.”

“I had to fend off my mother. She called to ask how last night went.”

“Did you tell her you weren’t ready to become a Daddy?”

Junmyeon’s eyes widened, and he shook his head. “God, I’ve known you for years, and you still throw me off.”

“To her dog, you idiot,” you answered with a hearty laugh, nudging him when the doors to the elevator opened into the apartment’s gym complex.

You each slipped into your own parts of the gym, you towards the stair climber, and Junmyeon to the weight machines. After some time on a stationary bike and an elliptical, you found yourself side by side with Junmyeon on the treadmills to cool down. As you jogged leisurely, you looked over at Junmyeon’s sweaty appearance and then wiped the back of your forearm over your perspiring forehead. “We didn’t think this one through.”

“Huh?”

“Me exercising.”

“It’s been days, I’m sure you’re enjoying the burn,” he breathlessly answered, running faster than you were currently.

“Yes, but I’m all sweaty and gross now.”

“So am I.”

“I’m unable to shower properly at the moment. Didn’t you see how greasy my hair is from my mediocre attempts with all this bandaging? Even with a bag over my hand, I can’t clean myself up well.”

“Your bandaging is probably sweaty too. Don’t worry, I’ll fix you up.”

“Will you wash my hair for me too?”

Junmyeon hit the red button on the treadmill and came to an unsteady halt. “What?”

“It feels gross, Myeon. This is where a partner would come in handy. Even my other best friend—”

“I’m getting far too curious about a godforsaken sex toy for my own sanity,” he muttered as you slowed to a stop, grinning at him in bemusement. Junmyeon wiped his face down with his sweat towel and shook his head. “Fine. Yes, I’ll wash your damn hair, so you’ll shut up.”

“So, we’re showering together now too?” you wondered, and Junmyeon gave you a dark look. “How else do you plan to help me?”

“I’m getting you out of here before any of these other men hear you and take your offer someplace sinful.”

“I wouldn’t complain about that,” you replied, glancing around to spot someone who took your attention. Junmyeon grabbed your things and started to stalk towards the exit. You trotted along behind him, giggling at the rigid posture Junmyeon held all the way back up to your apartment.

Once you were both in the bathroom, you slowly eased out of your clothes, though you got stuck in your sports bra that was more challenging to get off with one hand than it was to get on.

“Keep it on,” Junmyeon announced, and you glanced at the man now standing just in his boxer briefs. “I’m not getting in a shower with you naked.”

“You’ve seen it before.”

“Yes, but today you’re asking me to help you out. I might be your best friend who doesn’t think of you that way, but I am also a man, and I’m going to be touching you. Forgive me for knowing I’m not a saint and don’t need any encouragement for physical reactions to occur.”

You finished attaching a plastic bag around your injured hand. “A head massage when you wash my hair and a potential undoing. This shower sounds delightful.”

“Why you don’t have any female best friends to rely on instead,” he muttered as he turned on the shower, corralling you into it and shutting the door soon after.

It was entirely platonic, to begin with. Junmyeon washed your hair, and aside from the reproachful look he gave you when you let out a moan at his fingers against your scalp – which couldn’t be helped when it felt so heavenly – you each managed to get yourselves as clean as possible.

“Let me get your back for you too,” you offered after Junmyeon had soaped yours up, your hand reaching out to take the loofah he held. He handed it to you, and you spun around, your back to the sprays whilst you scrubbed soap over Junmyeon’s muscles. He groaned, and you smirked. “Now, now, no sexual noises, just like you told me.”

“That feels good, though,” he told you hoarsely, and you chewed on your bottom lip, putting more effort into it. You liked making him squirm, and for once, Junmyeon was rendered at the mercy of your circular motions. He placed his head on the glass door, and you noticed his breathing change.

Pressing in closer to him, you stood on your toes to reach his ear. “Are you perhaps getting turned on right now?”

“Y/N,” he breathed out, and you glanced down to the front of his boxers, surprised to see that he was hardening.

“Shit. You are too. Kim Junmyeon! Who knew your erogenous spot was your back?” you teased as he shook his head.

“Stop.”

“Teasing you or turning you on?” you asked, and he spun around suddenly, your balance knocked off as you backed out of his way.

This was something new. The way he looked at you now was something he’d never done, and you could see there was a level of incredulity in his expression as he realised the same thing. His heated gaze dragged down your body, and you felt goosebumps chill your skin despite the heat of the water raining down over you both. He got hooked on your chest for a moment, shaking his head.

“We shouldn’t.”

“We’re better as friends.”

“Surrendering to lust would be stupid of us,” he continued, despite stepping closer.

Your heart thumped noisily in your chest, your body arching towards him instinctively. “We could try just one time. Just a taste.”

“Scratch an itch,” he agreed, and you nodded, gasping at how sensitive you were when his arms slid around your middle, pulling you flush against him.

Junmyeon groaned, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “This is reckless.”

“Do you want it?” you whispered, and he lifted his head to gaze at you, water beading on his lashes as he blinked slowly.

You didn’t know who moved faster. Lips crashed against each other as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands reaching to cup your thighs and pull you up so he could press you into the wall. It was fast and desperate, your good hand gripping the back of his head as he coveted your mouth and mind. Tongues met and battled for dominance, and your wanton moan was swallowed by him.

Pulling back for air, you both stared at one another again. Junmyeon’s hand roamed your face until it cupped your jaw. “More?”

“Don’t you dare stop.”

“Not in here,” he told you, hitting off the lever for the water and then carrying you out. Settling you down on the bathroom countertop, Junmyeon gestured for you to lift your arms, and you obeyed, allowing him to remove your sports bra. He took off your panties next and then removed his underwear, his eyes not leaving yours.

“You know, I’ve never thought of you like this,” he admitted, finally letting his heated stare travel your nakedness.

You felt emboldened by his gaze, delighting in your own perusal of his body. God, he was gorgeous. Especially right where he ached for you. Clamping your legs together in need, you were overwhelmed by the level of desire you had for him right now. Your brain was echoing his sentiment. You had never given him any sort of sexual thought. So many of your colleagues had teased you about being like a married couple, and you had always joked back that one day he’d put a ring on your finger, but that had been all that it was. Fun banter between you and your best friend.

Now, you wondered if you had wasted far too long not getting to know Junmyeon’s body.

“I’m not going to last long if you keep looking at me like that,” he told you, and without waiting for a reply, he scooped you up, carrying you into your bedroom, kicking the door firmly shut.

Spent, after what was the best sex of your life, you rolled to look at your best friend and the sated expression on his face. You grinned. “You liked that.”

“Y/N, I think I more than liked it.”

“The third time was most enlightening,” you confessed, and Junmyeon chuckled.

“I still can’t believe what we’ve done.”

“Any regrets?” you wondered, hoping he had none. You sure didn’t. You wanted to worship his body every day for the rest of your life.

You stilled with that thought, and Junmyeon seemed to read where you had gone. “I have one regret.”

“One?”

He nodded. “Taking this long to taste you.”

“Okay, I can agree with that,” you replied, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. “But what does this mean for us now?”

“You’ve always thought of us as best friends forever,” he started, and you nodded. “We’ve always held the same picture, Y/N. Finding love, getting married, living nearby, vacationing as two families. I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Same,” you whispered, sitting up a little. Junmyeon’s eyes fell to your exposed body before dragging them back up to your face. “But now, I’m not so sure if I wouldn’t get jealous of your future wife getting to have all of this.”

“My body made you that love drunk, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. “Arrogance doesn’t suit you.”

“Maybe we can still have the same dream.”

“Really? Tell me you wouldn’t get jealous of another man bedding me.” Junmyeon’s eyes flashed with something dark, and you cocked your head to the side. “See, you can’t. Maybe we shouldn’t have given in to those feelings back in the shower.”

“You want all those things I mentioned. Why not have them with me?”

You stared at him, dumbstruck. “Wh-What?”

“We both already do everything for the other. We live in the same apartment complex because we wanted to be close to each other. We’ve shared the same bed so many times I’ve forgotten what it feels like to wake up with another woman in my arms other than you. We know we can live together with ease. And I’ve always loved you. You’re the best person in my world. What I’m realising now, after what we’ve just done, is that I found the missing puzzle piece. I didn’t need to meet another woman to do the things you couldn’t for me. I just needed to give in to the moment and find them with you.”

“What you’re suggesting will change everything about us,” you told him quietly, though your mind was accepting all he said with far more ease than you had even considered before. “We won’t just be best friends anymore.”

“Yes, we will. The kind of best friend I want forever. I’m not asking you to marry me right now, Y/N. But after what we did, you can’t tell me that was just scratching an itch. That was… we…”

“We made love,” you finished for him, and Junmyeon nodded. “I love you too, Myeon. I just— what if it doesn’t work out? I can’t lose you.”

“Where would I go? How can this not work out?”

“How are you so sure about this?”

Tugging you so you were over him again, he placed your good hand over his heart and stretched up to kiss your lips. It was slower than all the others had been, but it was the kiss that broke all your barriers away, sweeping you out into his sea. You surrendered to the waves of emotions that kiss contained. As his mouth moved against yours, you could only think of one thing.

How right it felt to be in his arms and feeling his love against your lips.

When Junmyeon finally pulled back, he smiled up at you. “Did you feel my heart through all of that?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s how I know. Because I’ve never felt like this about anyone else. Maybe we both knew all along that things never worked out with others because it wasn’t us. The people we’ve seen in the past don’t come close to how I feel for you. And I can’t imagine anyone else but you.”

“I want to say that’s the sex haze talking,” you replied with a smile, leaning in to kiss him briefly before you shook your head. “But I can’t imagine anyone else either now. You’re it for me.”

“Is that so?”

You nodded, moving so you could curl up against him. Your best friend. Your heart. “Doctor’s orders.”

“Well, I can’t go against what you prescribe for me, now can I?”

_________________

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prettywordsyouleft · 2 years

Text

Do It [M] (Just Friends January)

Pairing: Mark Tuan x female reader

Genre: romance / smut / friends to lovers

Warnings: a bit of angst, a fair amount of cursing, alcohol consumption, vomiting, a whole bucket load of denial and a detailed sex scene (consensual and sober, just for clarification).

Word count: 5060

Nothing Mundane | Do It | Waiting For You | Doctor’s Orders

“Can’t you just do it?”

“No way, Y/N,” Mark responded, shaking his head incredulously. This was getting beyond a joke now.

When you had first asked him about this, he had been gentle with you. He could see how vulnerable you were explaining the reasoning, and he had let you down gently. “We’re friends, Y/N. I… I couldn’t be responsible for doing that for you.”

“But you’re the person I trust the most in the world with this.”

He had to admit it was hard to turn you down that first time. The way you had widened your eyes, the unshed tears barely kept at bay, Mark had wanted to do everything to take away that pain. But what you were requesting of him was just too big of a deal. Something he shouldn’t ever have the right to take away when you were his best friend.

He thought his denial would have been enough. Yet there had been four other instances since, and the shy and fragile version of you was long gone.

“Surely it would be a good thing for you,” you continued, following Mark as he got up from the table to take out his dirty dishes. He glowered at your persistence, wishing that he didn’t live with you for once.

This was becoming torturous.

“Stop it, now.”

“Guys love sex. Don’t they? You do. I know you do. I’ve heard you talking with Jackson when you think I’m not home. And I’ve heard—”

It felt odd to be the one who was fully exposed by this exchange, and as Mark held up a hand to silence you, a heated flush made its way up his neck to his face. “This is about more than sex, and you know it.”

“I’m done waiting!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands up in the air. “Who in their right mind is a virgin at this age unless they’re waiting for marriage. I’m not even going to get married at this rate if no one will even touch me. Do you want me to die a spindled old hag with my chastity still intact?!”

“Lord,” Mark expelled as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on. “You aren’t old at twenty-nine. You won’t die a virgin. Someone will come along, and it’ll be worth the wait.”

“Says the guy who lost his when he was fifteen to Kelly in the cupboard under the stairs of her house during her birthday party,” you reminded, and a loud groan left him as he headed towards his bedroom.

“Please don’t talk about that. You don’t want that. I didn’t want that. I lasted like, twenty seconds. It was fucking embarrassing.”

“At least you got some. And still do. I’ve heard it through the walls over the years when you’re bedding a moaner.”

“I cannot have this conversation with you,” he complained, shaking his head as he slumped into his gaming chair. “There are boundaries, Y/N.”

“Since when? You know everything about me. It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked, Mark. You know little about clothing when you’re exhausted.”

“Y/N,” he said your name again, a plea for this to be over. “I am not taking your virginity.”

“No one will,” you announced glumly, and he glanced at you, noting the real concern in your gaze. He frowned. You laughed bitterly. “You know, if I batted for the other team, I could have probably had Celia go down on—”

“WHOA!” Mark all but yelled, flashes of the blonde lesbian from downstairs and you getting tangled up in the sheets invading his mind. He didn’t want to think of anything like that. He felt a twitch in his pants despite his best efforts and groaned, slapping a hand over his face. “Please. I don’t want to talk about this a second longer. I’m sorry, Y/N. You’ll thank me for not doing this. You don’t want me to do this for you.”

“If there’s anyone in this world I trust completely with my body and soul, it’s you, Mark,” you admitted quietly before leaving his room, the door shutting with a click behind you.

Leaning back in his chair, Mark stared up at the ceiling until he was unseeing. You had no idea why he couldn’t do this one thing for you.

“What are you doing?”

You glanced away from the plastic cup you had picked up from the kitchen countertop and towards Mark, who had approached you. “What does it look like?”

“You don’t drink,” he pointed out, reaching for the cup. Keeping a hold on it, Mark cocked his head to the side at you. “Why are you going to tonight?”

“Leave her be, Mark,” Bam announced, grabbing a cup for himself. “It’s about time Y/N lets loose at one of your parties.”

“Let loose?” he repeated, his gaze snapping from his friend to you. “Are you letting loose tonight?”

“Sure. I mean, why not? It’s my house too. It’s not like I have to remain sober for anything, right?”

“You never drink at our parties,” he said, and you shrugged, taking a sip of the beer. You pulled a face before taking a larger gulp.

Mark didn’t like this. He didn’t like you breaking away from the norm, away from your rigid set of rules. You didn’t do things like this, and he respected that about you. Whilst you were happy to have lucid conversations and dance with his friends, you had always drawn the line at getting intoxicated. A flash of the topic from last week had him reaching for the cup again and finishing it off for you. “Mark!”

“No more. I mean it. Don’t do this,” he warned, and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m thirty in a month. I’ve long lived away from my parents’ commands, Mark Tuan. There’s no way I’m allowing you to tell me what I can or can’t do either,” you announced, taking a different cup from the countertop, and draining it. Once done, you shot him a challenging stare. “Are you going to continue being an asshole to me, or can I get what I want my own way?”

“This isn’t—”

“Y/N!” Celia’s feminine tone infiltrated the moment, and Mark willed his gaze to the ceiling before any of the dreams he’d been having of late tempted to cloud his thoughts again. By the time he’d calmed the reaction down, you were already gone from his side, nursing yet another cup of beer.

“Fuck,” he murmured, clamping his eyes shut.

“What’s up your nose tonight?”

“Y/N’s going to do something really stupid. I can feel it, Jinyoung.”

“Stupid, how?” Jinyoung wondered, and Mark groaned again, fisting his hair tightly before shaking his head. “Want me to help keep an eye on her?”

Mark imagined you convincing Jinyoung into your bedroom and felt himself pale. “Don’t worry. I’ll do it.”

“Do what?”

“Fuck do I know,” he muttered to himself exasperatedly, not letting you out of his sight for the next hour.

He had barely avoided getting tangled in Rue, one of his usual conquests at parties like these, and came up with a really lame excuse to Jackson when he noticed Mark hadn’t been drinking much all night. But you sure had, and it was clear that you were now beyond tipsy.

Striding across the room, Mark grabbed your upper arms firmly before your face planted into Yugyeom’s lap. He hated this tension more than anything, his wild thoughts causing him to go insane. “Y/N. Time for bed.”

“Bed?!” you crooned, shaking your head freely. You had let your hair down, and your shirt had been unbuttoned lower than usual. Even if Mark trusted his younger friend with you, Yugyeom couldn’t help but dart his eyes over the smooth expanse of skin you normally didn’t share with the world. Mark shot him a reproachful look as he hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you back into his body. You were hot from all the alcohol and wiggled against him.

For fuck sake, he thought internally at his body’s instinctive reaction and tugged you away from the couch. “You’ve had enough of the party.”

“I get to decide that!” you told him, pointing a finger at the space before you instead of at him. When you realised you weren’t directing it at him, you swivelled around clumsily in his grip until you were able to see him. You grinned lazily. “So handsome. So annoying. Stupid buttface!”

“Definitely time for bed,” he reiterated, prodding you along to your room. “Come on, party’s over.”

“It’s over?! No!” you cried with true disappointment, your pouty lips tugging downwards. “I didn’t get a chance to—”

“Don’t you dare finish that,” Mark warned, throwing his hand over your mouth. He was strangely possessive of you right now, not wanting to hear or think of who you would choose from the people within the house tonight. He couldn’t let you do that with any of them, and the people here were the good kind. His closest friends, yours too. Everyone was safe and yet felt completely dangerous to Mark.

He wouldn’t let a single one of them touch you.

You started to gag with his hand against your mouth, and he quickly pulled away, your strength coming back to you as you raced down the hallway to the bathroom. You were uncaring that Youngjae and his wife were lost in one another when you flung the door open and cradled the porcelain bowl, the pair easing out of the room as Mark grimaced. Rubbing your back as the contents of your bad decisions came up, he sighed heavily.

He somehow felt at fault for all of this.

“I just wanted to try,” you moaned to no one in particular, shuddering with the aftereffects of throwing up. “I’m unwantable!”

“That’s not even a word,” he attempted to tease you, and you scowled at him after wiping your mouth clean with some toilet paper. He sighed again. “And it’s not something you should ever think about yourself.”

“No? Only people like you can say something like that.”

“What’s that meant to mean?” he wondered as you shrugged out of his comfort and got up off your knees. You washed your mouth out and then brushed your teeth, avoiding his gaze in the mirror before you both. “Are you saying—”

“Go back to your world, Mark. Your party. Your playthings. Your ability to get what you want when you want it. I’m going to bed before I do or say something I’ll never get to take back.”

It wasn’t the last time you attempted to drink at outings with your mutual friends. Mark noticed that you had a champagne flute in your hand and a suggestive smile on your face as Jaebum struck up a conversation with you at a work event three weeks later. Jaebum’s hand soon landed on your upper arm, and you angled yourself closer. Mark chugged back the flute of alcohol he held, feeling anger surge throughout him again. Just how often was he going to have to look out for you now?

“Maybe you need to just let it happen.”

Turning to Jinyoung at his side, Mark glowered. “What?”

“Y/N. Something is up between you two, and I’m starting to think I might know what that is. Let her do this.”

“Do this?” Mark wanted to pummel Jinyoung into the column they leaned against. His temper had always been something he walked a fine line with when he was passionate about something or someone. Jinyoung knew nothing, and yet when he squared his friend with a look, Mark realised the observant man was aware of a whole lot more than had been spoken of. It annoyed him further. “Like Jaebum is a good pick to let that happen with.”

“He’ll take care of her.”

“Next you’ll be telling me that you’ll do it too,” Mark gruffly muttered, and Jinyoung shrugged.

“Maybe you should. Y/N’s your best friend. She’ll feel most comfortable around you. Besides, there’s more to it, isn’t there?”

Mark stilled, staring at Jinyoung until his eyes hurt. Noticing movement out of the corner of his eyes, he lurched for another flute of champagne from the tray the server held. Downing it in one gulp, Mark looked back over at you and Jaebum.

He should just stay out of things. Hadn’t he told you that someone would come along? Jaebum was one of his closest friends. If he could trust him with his life, then Mark should trust him with yours too.

The alcohol roiled in his stomach, and he felt sick. Heading for the exit, Mark needed fresh air. He didn’t realise how hot and bothered he was until the chill of the evening consumed him, and he started to shake, fumbling with his phone to send you a message that he was going home.

A hand landed over his, and he turned to look at you. You smiled wryly. “Leaving so early?”

“I don’t feel good,” he admitted and watched as your face pinched with worry. He groaned. “I mean, I’m tired. You can go back in there and—”

“It’s okay, I’m done for the night too,” you replied, slinging your arm through his and smiling. “Let’s go home, shall we?”

By the time the Uber had dropped you both off, Mark was worse for wear. He was leaning against you more than he ought to, but somehow the small amount of alcohol mixed with his conflicting emotions had him more wasted than he had been in a while. He couldn’t fathom it, yet he appreciated your endeavour to keep you both upright during the elevator ride to your apartment and across the living space to the couch. Easing him down, you then placed your purse on the coffee table and walked away from him.

“I’ll get you a glass of water to help you out,” you announced from inside the kitchen, soon returning with the drink. He sipped at it weakly. Reaching for his forehead, you blinked repeatedly.

“What?”

“You’re feverish.”

“Huh. Maybe that’s why I feel like shit.”

“Come on, take off your coat,” you urged, but his arms felt like they wouldn’t comply. Mark looked at you helplessly, and you chuckled. “You’re always such a baby when you get ill. What would you do without me?”

“Not live,” he admitted, and you stilled for a moment, not catching his gaze before you continued with shedding his layers. You took the coat and suit jacket off him and draped them over the couch before loosening his tie and tugging his shirt free from his slacks. Mark eyed you warily whilst you rolled your own.

“I won’t take it off you, don’t worry. Your virtue is safe with me,” you teased, and Mark watched you through a haze of thoughts.

“Is yours?”

“Always intact, you know that. Long may I live until I’m old, grey, and ever virtuous.”

“Jaebum would have done it tonight. You know that.”

“Is that why you drank more champagne than usual?” you asked, and he blanched. You shook your head. “As if you’re the only one who watches the other. You hate champagne. It makes you sick. Now look at you.”

“It felt like a good idea at the time.”

“For what?”

“I don’t know,” he managed to answer, sipping more of the water. You waited for him to finish it before you pulled him to his feet, Mark slumping against you.

“Hold yourself up before we both fall!” you insisted, and with some assistance, you aided him to the bathroom, where you both got ready for bed. He tried to catch your eye several times whilst you brushed your teeth alongside him, but you were avoiding him again. It made him think back to the night of the party and that unfinished conversation.

Just what was going through your head?

“Reckon you can get yourself down to your room, big boy?” you asked once done, and Mark nodded, leaning down to brush his lips over your forehead. It was something he did often, but tonight, you both stiffened from the action.

Swallowing, Mark stepped back. “Thanks, Y/N.”

“Night, Mark.”

You slipped away from him then, and he sighed heavily, staring at himself in the mirror until he got sick of his appearance. Slumping down the hallway to his room, he misjudged his step and banged into the wall hard.

“Fuck,” he whined, trying to pull himself back upright.

Your door clicked open, and you stepped out in your sleepwear, silently reaching out for his arm and guiding him to his room. Mark felt pathetic. You were always there for him. Every time. And when you had asked for one thing from him, he had taken the cowardly route.

That had to be the only reason why he was falling apart like this.

Shuffling over to his bed, you threw back the covers and eased him down into it, pulling the blankets up to his neck and smiling gently. “Get some rest, huh?”

“Stay.”

“What?”

Capturing your wrist in his hand, he trembled. “Stay with me?”

You brushed over his earnest look and attempted to giggle. “We’ve not had a sleepover since we were fifteen, Mark. And the last time we did that, you told me that sleeping with girls wasn’t the same thing anymore.”

“You’re not a girl to me.”

“I should hope not. I’m far too old to be a girl now,” you remarked sardonically, and Mark’s grip around your wrist tightened. You softened your expression. “You really want me to stay?”

“Mm. I don’t feel good.”

Placing a cool hand to his forehead again, you nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on you. Let me just get a chair—”

“No,” he cut in, tugging you over him. Your upper body connected with his, and he gasped at how good that felt.

You were awkward, though and quickly scrambled over him to the other side of the bed. “I’ll stay here,” you announced, getting under the covers and pulling them up to your chin. “Sleep well, Mark.”

Mark had always been a cuddler. He loved affection, and after sex, he was always happy to wake up with someone in his arms. But when the next morning arrived, Mark was stunned. He remembered back to when you were kids, you had always ended up in a tangled mess by the time a new day arrived, so this shouldn’t feel so new to him right now.

Yet, it did.

Your legs were coiled around his, your head nestled against one of his arms instead of the pillow. Your even breathing was fanning across his bare skin, and he had no recollection of when he’d lost his shirt, just that he had. In fact, he was only in his boxers, and a very hard part of him was pressed against you, making him swallow roughly. You were entirely flush against each other, and for the first time in years, Mark dared to take this at face value.

The reason he didn’t date anyone. The fact that he hadn’t thought twice about moving in with you when your roommate went overseas, even if the rent was cheaper at his old place. The way he didn’t feel right until he saw you each morning and kissed your forehead goodnight.

The real answer to your request the first time.

He didn’t want to take your virginity. He wanted to have all of you forever. Not just as your best friend, your comrade in this existence. As your man. As your husband, the father of your children, the one who saw you to that old age you kept referring to and told you how beautiful you were when he still made love to you until his body physically couldn’t.

Mark had loved you for years, but the weight of rejection had kept him silent. The worry of losing you spurred on the denial.

And now the risk of you being with someone else made him possessive and irritable. He couldn’t let you do this anymore. He needed to tell you the truth. Maybe with the knowledge, you’d be able to accept all of him too.

And that virginity issue you had? It’d be no longer a plaguing thought before your birthday.

It dawned on him then that you had given yourself a timeline. You’d never spoken about the lack of men in your life, aside from in jest. But these last few months, you had been more active in your attempts to date, to catch the eye of anyone. Had he somehow kept you on the low all these years whilst he bedded women to satiate his carnal urges? Mark had everything he needed in a relationship fulfilled by you except for the physical aspect.

Whilst you had nothing. Even your first kiss had been delayed for too long. Mark furrowed his brow. Who had been the one to kiss you?

“Y/N,” he murmured five minutes later, answerless and growing concerned. “Hey, wake up. I need to ask you something.”

“Why? I’m warm where I am.”

“You don’t have to move.” Mark would prefer if you stayed stock still right now actually.

Of course, your leg shifted further over his thigh, cinching your lower half into his. A moment later, your head was up, and your eyes were wide. “Oh, uh, well. This didn’t happen when we last had sleepovers, Mark.”

“It’s a part of my morning routine,” he managed to wince out as you tried to detangle yourself but only ended up somehow pressed into him further.

Right where he suddenly ached for you to stay.

Gripping your hips so you stopped moving, Mark expelled a heavy breath. “Who was your first kiss?”

“What?”

“Who did it?”

You stared at him incredulously. “This is what you woke me up for? Can I move, please? I need space before—”

His hips involuntarily moved in efforts to keep you still again, and you bit your lip, your hand on his bare chest curling up tightly.

Mark groaned. “Sorry, I just. Let me finish.”

“Whilst your dick is… there?!”

“It’s not like I can make it go down. Your body against mine was a surefire way for it to get that excited,” he told you, and you slapped his chest. “Ow!”

“Don’t talk like that to me!”

“Who was your first kiss?!”

“You were, you idiot. When we were five and—”

“I meant as an adult. You told me you’d kissed someone. Please tell me you have, and it’s not just your virginity I’ve kept hostage.”

You blushed, averting your eyes away from his. “It was someone.”

“Do I know this someone?”

“Jinyoung,” you whispered, and Mark clamped his eyes shut. Son of a bitch. Now it made sense why he knew things. “It was a very nice kiss. Well, kisses. But—”

“I don’t need the details, Y/N.”

“He didn’t make me feel anything,” you continued as if Mark hadn’t interrupted, and his eyes opened, staring at you widely. “Jinyoung admitted to having a crush on me for years. And I couldn’t… I didn’t feel the same for him.”

“What? This whole time, you could have done more with him, but you didn’t? If you were that—”

“He knows how I feel about you!” you blurted out, burying your face into Mark’s pillow immediately after.

“About me?” he asked distantly, blinking through the waves of confusion until they cleared, and he was staring at you differently. “Wait. That’s why you started to propose I take your virginity?”

“I’d tried everything else to get you to like me, but you’ve friend-zoned me so god damn hard, Mark. What was I meant to do?! Jinyoung insisted that you feel the same about me, but you’re like an immovable ox! I wasn’t sure you even could think of me the way I do you after trying so hard.”

Mark swore under his breath and rocked his hips into yours pointedly. “I’m pretty sure it’s obvious that I do.”

“No, that’s biology. As you said earlier, part of your morning routine and being wrapped up in a female body.”

“Y/N,” he pleaded, shaking his head. “I’m in love with you.”

“No, you’re— Wh-what did you just say?”

“I’m in love with you. I have been for years,” he confessed, and you merely stared at him, dumbfounded. “I didn’t want to take your virginity away from you, I wanted to make love to you. That’s why I said no. Because if it was just sex for you but more for me, I’d lose you, and I couldn’t bear the thought of you being wrapped around someone else’s body when I’d had yours first.”

“You’re in love with me,” you breathed out, a startled laugh escaping you as your eyes grew clear again and stared at him. “You love me.”

“Always have.”

He blinked quickly when your mouth came over his, his eyes shutting as a groan shuddered through him. Mark wanted to savour this moment, yet it was too long overdue, and you were both excessively hungry. Hands touched where they hadn’t before, gasps left mouths, and moans filled the room. He was over you now, clothing removed, and foreheads pressed against the other.

“I want you to make love to me,” you whispered, running your hand down his torso to where he was throbbing for you.

Kissing you again and all the way down your body, Mark then rolled across the bed to his nightstand before returning with a foil package. He noticed you looked nervous.

“Hey. We can take this slow. Okay?”

“I don’t want slow, Mark. I’ve waited almost thirty years for this moment. I want all of you now.”

“Fuck,” he cursed, hurriedly putting the condom on and returning to where he’d been, his hand sinking between your thighs and drawing out more moans from you. “You’re so tight.”

“That’s the whole point to—”

“Don’t you dare snark me when I’m trying to hold myself back from hurting you. I need to do this first. Let me make this pleasurable for you.”

You gasped as he curled a finger inside you before adding a second. “Well, if you don’t hurry up, it’s going to be too much pleasure, and I won’t last.”

“Nuh-uh. You’ll learn that this is just the beginning,” he informed you smugly, looking between your bodies and letting out another string of profanity. This was more than he could ever imagine.

And when you dug your nails into his shoulders, with your head thrown back as your orgasm consumed you, Mark knew he’d have to work fast if he was going to make it inside of you before he joined you in sheer delirium. Removing his hand, he lined himself at your entrance and nudged it softly. Your gaze moved to his, and he held you there as he slid painstakingly slow into you, shifting his weight onto one bracing arm so he could touch your face.

Your brows were furrowed, and he smoothed them out before cupping your jaw. “Take a deep breath for me, baby. I won’t get in any further if you don’t relax.”

You seemed to unravel with the nickname, and the vice grip on him loosened enough that he was able to fill you to the hilt with mutual groans. There Mark waited for a moment, watching your expression for any discomfort. You shifted, and his mouth went dry from the feeling. “Holy shit.”

“Move Mark, please. I need you to move,” you pleaded and with a gentle kiss over your brow, he pitched himself half out before back in, a hiss leaving you as your hands came up to grip his biceps tightly. He set a rhythm, and you soon began to match it, your moans and the heady slap of skin driving him closer to release. His hips grew reckless with wanton need, and you seemed more appreciative than he had anticipated. The noises leaving you, sounds he had only ever imagined before, made him lose all control, and he came with your name on his lips, throaty and desperate.

He felt you clenching around him as he rode out the remaining high and watched as you came undone a second time for him, completely hazed from your orgasm.

Once he’d caught his breath, Mark rolled away from you and took care of the condom, returning with a warm cloth to help clean you up. You were boneless and sated, letting him do it for you as you gazed at him lovingly.

“I never said it.”

Placing the cloth on his nightstand, Mark nestled down beside you and pulled you into his arms. You came willingly, and he wanted to laugh and soak in this moment forever. “Said what?”

“You told me you loved me. I never told you that I love you back.”

Mark grinned, kissing your temple. “I’m pretty sure your body just told me how much you love me.”

“My body is so in love with you,” you agreed with a content sigh before pulling your head out of his embrace to stare at him. “I love you. It’s always been you for me.”

“It’s always going to be you for me too.”

“Took you long enough to realise that,” you said with a roll of your eyes, and Mark gaped at you. “What? I had to ask you to deflower me before you even realised what you were missing out on.”

“Deflower?!” he choked out with a laugh, bundling you up closer to him, holding you tightly. “You’re not a flower.”

“What am I then?”

“My heart. And there’s no way I can survive without one. So be easy on me right now.”

“Don’t you think we’ve got a whole lot of time to catch up on right now?” you wondered, somehow regaining strength, sliding confidently over his waist and prodding him back into the mattress. Mark watched you curiously, hands loosely coming to rest on your hips.

“Aren’t you worried about being able to walk? Your body is going to be sore after today.”

“I know. But I have you to look after me, don’t I?”

Mark smiled, leaning up to kiss you tenderly. “Always.”

_________________

Next: Waiting For You

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prettywordsyouleft · 2 years

Text

Waiting For You (Just Friends January)

Pairing: Im Changkyun x female reader (ft. Yoo Kihyun)

Genre: angst-fluff / friends to lovers

Warnings: obliviousness, a dreaded love triangle, a small amount of angst, some cursing

Word count: 2959

Nothing Mundane | Do It | Waiting For You | Doctor’s Orders

“You’re drooling.”

Snapping your mouth shut, you shot Changkyun a glare. “I am not.”

“You have a bit right here,” he told you, hooking his finger around your chin before tapping it. Your friend smirked. “See. You drooled.”

“I hate you.”

“Nuh-uh. Not as much as you hate that woman approaching Yoo Kihyun right now.”

You lamented quietly that Changkyun was right. This had gone on for far too long now. One day, you’d have the courage to confess your feelings for Kihyun.

However, that wouldn’t happen tonight.

You’d loved the man for years now, ever since he and his family had moved in down the end of the street when you were twelve. In an ironic twist of fate, when Kihyun moved away for university, you had followed a couple of years later, and now you were living in the same apartment complex, as well as working at an investment company he was a manager at.

It wasn’t some stalkerish reason that your lives kept lining up like this, however.

You had no idea what university Kihyun got into until you saw him on campus in your first year. And the reason you were now working together was because of him. He had helped you pass the interview after recommending your skillset to his team.

You were certain this was fate. Or it would be once that brunette got away from him.

“So much drool,” Changkyun breathed into your ear, and you snapped back to your best friend and scowled over your shoulder at him.

“I didn’t bring you here tonight to listen to you tease me endlessly.”

“Isn’t that the free entertainment you promised me?” he retorted, and you attempted not to smile at his wit.

You and Changkyun were a package deal too. He was your neighbour first, born a year after you, and so you had been friends since you were in diapers. And when you moved, he came with you, living across from your dorm for the first few years, and helped with the deposit to your shared apartment when you graduated school.

The only thing that he didn’t share with you was losing your virginity. Not that you had wanted to be the one who took that, or him to be yours. It was bad enough that he had been your first kiss, and your parents insisted from that moment on you’d be each other’s forever.

You had your eyes set on someone else for that.

“You might want to try and talk to him. Hey Kihyun, how have you been? Oh, that’s right, I just stared at you for eight hours from my cubicle that has a direct view of your desk. One that I’d love for you to—”

“I will disown you if you finish that sentence,” you warned, and Changkyun grinned.

“Did you know you’ve stated that more in life than you’ve ever actually considered said disownment?”

“Well, I’m seriously considering it now,” you muttered, annoyed that Changkyun laughed instead of taking heed of your annoyance. “Go home.”

“You need me here. You’ll fumble and bluster and become an entire mess if you have to do this work function alone,” he said, and you sighed inwardly, knowing again that he was right. Changkyun knew you inside out and when you had mentioned the compulsory work event, he hadn’t even needed to be bribed to come as your plus one.

He was always there when you needed him.

Kihyun wrapped up talking to the attractive woman and glanced around, smiling when he looked in your direction and started walking over. You perked up, reaching behind your back in a subtle way of asking Changkyun for support. He squeezed your hand tightly before letting it go and stepped out from behind you. “Hey man, fancy seeing you here.”

“I swear, it’s like coming home when I see you two together. Our street never was quiet with the three of us around, huh?”

“That’s us, the never-ending hit of nostalgia, right, Y/N?” Changkyun prompted when you remained silent, Kihyun holding out his hands to welcome you in for a hug.

You’d had hundreds of these over the years, and every time you held your breath, freezing in his grip instead of relaxing into it. You knew if you did, you’d never let go.

You inhaled his ocean scent, rolling out to sea with overwhelming giddiness. He was too perfect.

Kihyun grinned down at you and pulled back. He glanced around the party and then chuckled. “This is boring as hell.”

“Even the food sucks,” you finally said, and both men took you in. You shrugged. “I could go a burger.”

“Ugh,” Kihyun moaned, holding a hand over his chest. “Don’t weaken me.”

“French fries too,” you tacked on, somehow growing in confidence. You peeked a look at Changkyun, and he nodded proudly at you.

“If you say a milkshake as well, I think I might have to ditch this snore-fest and take you out to eat.”

Your heart ended up in your stomach somehow.

“I could eat,” Changkyun stated, and Kihyun glanced between you before nodding.

“Fifteen more minutes. We showed up, right? I secured the deal I needed to for tonight, so let’s blow this popsicle stand.”

“We’re not thirteen anymore,” you pointed out, reminding both men of the time that you had actually built an entire lemonade stand from popsicle sticks.

Changkyun groaned loudly. “Please. I still am haunted by the hot glue on my fingers.”

“Not to mention it fell apart five minutes into opening our stall. We didn’t really account for the added strength we needed for that thing to hold all the lemonade,” Kihyun added, shaking his head.

You giggled. “It was you two who fought over the pricing of our drink that made the stand fall, not the lemonade itself. Had you not knocked me out of the way, it might have lasted.”

“That’s right. You broke it,” Changkyun stated, folding his arms over his chest.

“All that hard work we did, Y/N,” Kihyun teasingly reproached.

You gaped at the smug expressions on their faces. “For that, you can buy me a burger and you the fries,” you announced, poking both in the chest before you walked away. Neither followed you, and you turned to look over your shoulder at them. “Do you really need to wait?”

“We better do as she tells us, Kyun.”

“Always better when we do.”

“So bossy.”

“So needy.”

“I can hear you both,” you reminded, and they grinned, quickly falling into step just as they had as kids.

It wasn’t always so carefree around Kihyun, though. If anything, without Changkyun to buffer you and old memories to fall into, you were bashful more than you’d like to be. Kihyun ribbed you for it, affectionately teasing you at work and on the drives home that he started to offer you.

“It’s a good thing your boss finishes at the same time, owns a car, and lives in the same complex, huh?”

It should have bothered you about the power dynamics, but you had always been efficient at your job, and Kihyun appreciated that about you.

However, rumours had started around the office that you were more than just childhood friends. On the one hand, you wanted to encourage them. Kihyun certainly was. Slinging an arm over your shoulder and smiling down at you until you were bright red as he told everyone that you were his. But your professional conduct meant you stayed quiet and wary about insinuating something more.

You wanted to be his. Grace his bed, your clothes on his floor. The one he called for when he needed anything, and not just month-end reports.

You wanted Kihyun to be yours too.

“You and Changkyun, huh?” Kihyun mentioned as the car neared your apartment block, and you glanced over to him, frowning. Kihyun darted a look at you and grinned. “You know, there were bets that one day you’d eventually break apart.”

“Born in the same pod, so everyone thinks. Though they forget I’m a year older.”

“Changkyun would point out that it’s not even a full year,” Kihyun responded, and you laughed.

“He would too. He’s so annoying.”

“But you love him, right?”

You stilled. “What?”

“You and Kyun. You’re so cute together. I knew ages ago I had no shot with you because of him. One year, I even got you a Valentine’s Day present. I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. But that was the year you and Changkyun decided that you’d just buy each other chocolates and be done with the confusing nature of high school and crushes. Everyone was so jealous of you both. Me included.”

Somewhere during Kihyun’s speech, your mouth had fallen ajar.

He chuckled, carrying on as if your shock wasn’t something to consider right now. “When I saw you that first day on campus, and in my department too, I thought, finally, I’d be able to get you alone. I seriously harboured the biggest crush on you. I’m kind of embarrassed to tell you about it now.”

“What… what are you talking about?”

“You had no idea. Then again, how could you when Changkyun is always there? The guy is smitten with you. I’m sure you could say jump, and he’d ask how high and take you with him. As soon as you told me he was on campus too, I called it game over and let my crush go. Man, that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. You broke me for a while there, Y/N.”

You started to laugh, nervousness bubbling up your throat. Kihyun thought you and Changkyun were together? No wonder he kept you in the friend’s zone. “You think Kyun and I are an item?”

“Of course, you are. Look at you both. You live together. He is always there when you need him. I’ve come over and found you curled up in his arms sound asleep more than I can count. He watches you whenever you’re in the same room, and he talks nonstop about you when you’re not. You’re his world, Y/N. And he’s one lucky son of a bitch to have someone like you.”

“Changkyun and I aren’t together,” you said softly, and Kihyun slammed on the brakes suddenly, his frazzled stare darting to the rear-view mirror and the arm he’d thrown out to protect you shook.

“What?!”

“We’ve never been together.”

Kihyun stared at you for the longest time before he laughed darkly. “Nice joke, Y/N.”

You sat up tall in the passenger seat. “It’s true. I’m not his girlfriend. We’re just best friends.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

“All this time, you’ve thought we’re together?”

“Can’t you see that you are?” he shot back, running a hand down his face as he laughed again. “Holy shit, this is too good to be true. Are you sure you’re not pulling my leg right now?”

“How could I be when I’ve crushed on you for my whole life?” you confessed, and Kihyun’s gaze was wild now. He pulled the car over to the side of the road and turned it off. He looked completely unhinged, and you remained quiet, reeling.

You had expected telling Kihyun that the feelings had been mutual to lift some of the tension in the car right now. You had believed your heart would jump about in excitement at finally telling him. Instead, you were filling up with unease.

Changkyun loved you? Really? You had always believed he did, but not in the way Kihyun was insinuating. As you thought over the years, his reactions started to morph into new sentiments. You could see from Kihyun’s outside perspective how the pair of you could appear a loved-up couple. Changkyun wasn’t very good with affection towards many people, only those he held close. He was always touching you, spending time next to you. Everything you did together and shared the same bubble. He would often rest his chin on your shoulder, and you would lean back into him.

Heck, the night you got upset at Kihyun and that mysterious woman at the work event, you had been leaning into him until Kihyun looked your way.

You stopped blinking with the overwhelming realisation.

Unclasping your seatbelt, you picked up your bag from the floor of the car. “I… I think I have to go.”

“You’ve just realised it, haven’t you?”

You nodded. “I’m sorry. I guess all this time, I focused on what I thought I could have with you. When really, I have so much more with him.”

“Go. Go before I stop you, Y/N,” he told you, and you opened the car door, hopping out into the early evening air, glancing back at Kihyun inside his car, his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel. You felt a pang of remorse, but he looked at you then, nodding firmly. “Make him the lucky bastard he’s always been. Tell him, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you whispered before shutting the door and taking off on the final leg of your journey back home. You kicked off your low-heeled sandals when you got inside the apartment complex, hooking the straps over your fingers as you darted for the elevators and bashed the button repeatedly. Once the doors sprung open, you jumped inside, hitting your floor number as you bounced on the spot with nerves.

What if he wasn’t home? You shook that thought away, Changkyun was always at home waiting for you to return.

He was waiting for you.

Dashing out of the elevator as soon as the door opened, you were in front of your apartment a moment later, punching in the keycode before throwing the door open. Dropping your things in the entryway, you raced into the living room, where Changkyun looked up from his laptop on the dining table and grinned.

“You’re home.”

Even though you wanted to throw yourself at him, you took deliberately slow steps towards him, watching as Changkyun’s smile faded and he got lost in your stare. Reaching for the collar of his sweater right as his hands took purchase at your waist, you looked down at him. Inhaling deeply, you then smiled. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting all this time.”

And then your mouth was on his, kissing him for the second time in your life. This time though, it wasn’t chaste, and you knew you wouldn’t pull away and claim it to be gross. As the passion built within you, you wondered how you had gone this long without kissing him, without tasting his love on his lips. He had been pressing it into you all these years, and you had been so oblivious, so unreciprocating. Now, you joined Changkyun each step of the way, ending up in his lap as your kisses grew hungry, desperate.

Changkyun yanked back for air and brushed the dishevelled hair out of your face. “How did you come to realise it?”

“Kihyun.”

“You told him?” he asked, surprised, and you nodded.

“He told me first. But it doesn’t matter because when I told him I’d been crushing on him, you know what I didn’t feel? Anything, that’s what. All I could think about was how he’d described what we looked to him. How you were about me. And how stupidly blind I’ve been. How did you deal with me being in love with someone else all this time?”

Changkyun smiled, nuzzling your jawline with his nose before pressing a kiss there. “You were never in love with Kihyun. You just needed to understand that, and then you would have come home to me. Just as you have now.”

“I ran. I should have asked Kihyun to drive the rest of the way so I could get here more quickly,” you admitted with a laugh and then groaned. “Oh God, Kihyun. He had the biggest crush on me, did you know?”

“Uh, yeah.” Changkyun grinned. “You were unaware of his affection all this time. But I knew. Why do you think we were like siblings bickering all the time? We were always there in front of you, and you had no freaking clue.”

“I’m so dumb.”

“Not anymore. Today, you’re very smart. Delayed as hell,” he said, kissing you again. “But finally, here.”

“I love you, Changkyun.”

“Say it again,” he asked breathlessly, arms tightening their hold around you.

“I love you.”

“I’ve waited years for you to say that and mean it the way you do now,” he confessed, leaning his forehead into your shoulder with a groan. “God, I’ve been in love with you for so long this feels like a dream.”

You pinched him, and he yelped. Shooting you a disgruntled look, you shrugged. “You said it felt like a dream.”

“So, you pinched me to remind me it’s not?!”

“Here. Let me kiss you better,” you cooed, bending to graze your lips over his upper arm. And then you turned, meeting his ready lips for yet another mind-blowing kiss.

This. This was what you had been so close to all this time, and yet sitting on the outside of. You hadn’t once been cold out there because of Changkyun’s endless warmth, but now that you were inside, everything burned upon touch. You didn’t want to stop boiling up and over, needing him, needing all of this.

“I love you, my best friend,” Changkyun said onto your lips, and you smiled, kissing him twice before you pulled back.

“Our parents are going to be so smug over this. They told us we were each other’s forever all this time.”

“We are, though,” he pointed out, and you smiled, nodding as you cupped his face in your hands.

“We really are.”

_________________

Next: Doctor’s Orders

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