#queen you’re off your adhd meds | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rogerina-deacon · 3 years

Note

Hey could you wright something about being Bens girlfriend and having ADHD? Like Ben just helping you with your nervous energy and restlessness it can be fluff or Smut what ever you want. Thanks love

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader

Request: “Hey could you wright something about being Bens girlfriend and having ADHD? Like Ben just helping you with your nervous energy and restlessness it can be fluff or Smut what ever you want. Thanks love”

Summary: Ben finds the perfect way to help you get out your nervous energy.

Warnings: Smut! Face riding and hair playing specifically, but it’s overall really sweet and passionate

Word Count: 1500

A/N: Hi everyone! This is the first piece I’ve written in over a year, so please let me know what you think! Also, if I tagged you and you’d rather not be included in the taglist from here on out, please send me a message and I’ll remove you, I completely understand as it’s been so long since I’ve posted and people’s interests often change! Thanks so much for reading if you do, and remember feedback is much appreciated!

“You feeling alright, love?”

Those soft words from your boyfriend mere feet away on a nearby living room chair took you out of your mind for the first time in a while. You and your partner Ben were spending the Sunday of your weekend off simply lazing around the apartment, him spending his time reading a book he recently picked up, and you not quite sure what to do, so you sat on the couch rewatching an old show as you mindlessly scrolled through various apps, needing desperately to be stimulated by different things all at once.

“What do you mean?” You asked, not quite sure what he noticed about you that you hadn’t.

“Your leg’s been bouncing a mile a minute, love” He said, lightly chuckling as he did, unsure if you’d even noticed you were doing. Which you had, kind of, though it wasn’t something you were doing consciously.

“Yeah, tends to happen, have you not noticed it before?” You questioned, as it was something that happened most of the time if you were sitting, and if you were standing it would change to fiddling with the hem of your shirt, or sleeves if they were long enough. He knew you got restless because of your ADHD, it wasn’t anything new in your life, or relationship for that matter as you two have been dating for nearly three years, and friends for years before that.

“Of course I have, it tends to happen more though when you’re having bad days or haven’t taken your meds. Have you?” He asked genuinely, knowing how difficult it can be to cope without them.

“No, the pharmacy was out when I went to refill the other day, should be in soon though.’ You said, leg’s bouncing more as your brain filtered out all the other stimuli you had going on to talk to him.

“Any way you’d like me to help, love?” He said, moving from his seat on the chair to sitting right next to you, one arm around your shoulder, his hand of the other softly caressing your thigh, still bouncing but less so once he started to sooth you. He softly placed a kiss on your cheek, resting his forehead on the side of your head, his breath softly hitting your face.

“No idea, but if you can think of anything, I’m all ears” You said, a bit shaky and shy. He’s always had the same effect on you, surprising given all the time you’ve known each other, but that’s the Ben Hardy charm you suppose.

“Well,” He started, his voice low and soft in your ear, “I do remember one thing that helped…” He trailed off.

“Yeah? And what was that?” You asked, though really, you had a good idea of what he had in mind, based on his voice and how he wouldn’t out right say it.

“I seem to remember the last time this happened, we found a way for you to stim that was enjoyable for the both of us.” He said softly, his head moving down to place soft kisses along your neck and shoulders.

“How about we get more comfy in our room, yeah?” He suggested, taking your hand and motioning his head to the bedroom you two shared down the hall. You nodded in agreement, and he stood before helping you up, only to pick you up bridal style and carry you there, the door already barely ajar so he just had to push his back against it before walking in sideways so you both could fit.

“I’ll never understand how you do that without a problem every time.” You stated as he laid you onto the bed, before putting on some romantic instrumental music, knowing you needed sound for this to truly be effective. He took his shirt off before joining you on the bed, where he helped you take off your pajama pants as you took off the shirt you were wearing, an old tee of his you had grabbed from the dresser the night before. As soon as that shirt was tossed to the floor, Ben began kissing all over your torso, his lips only leaving your body to say sweet nothings that mean everything. Your fingers tangled in his hair, needing something to do and that seeming like the perfect thing for it. His hands traveled all over your body, caressing and squeezing and just overall trying to show you he finds you perfect. As his hands moved along your body, so did his lips, slowly making their way to their end goal, his tongue gently licking between your folds as his hands settled around your thighs. He knew he had to properly warm you up before you took control in order for this to work, so he gently built up your desire for it, softly licking and swirling his tongue around your clit, flicking ever so softly left to right, all of his moves precisely calculated so you feel them, but just barely, not wanting to build up too fast. Your hands began twirling his hair even faster, so he could tell you were ready to start.

“You ready, love?” He asked, needing confirmation, which you quickly gave with a nod and a soft “yeah”, prompting him to turn and lay on his back, your body adjusting so he had the room to get comfortable before his hands rested on your thighs once more, signaling for you to climb on top of him, your wet pussy hovering over him as you leaned forward to hold the headboard for balance before you slowly lowered yourself onto his mouth, his lips and tongue instantly working you just how he knew you liked it. You soon began moving your hips to where it felt good, the movement relieving the nervous energy pent up in you as you slowly let go, the sounds of the music filling your brain as you bucked your hips back and forth, your hands soon tangling in his hair, not to pull or direct him, but simply to play with, the soft strands of hair twirling and tangling between your fingers, the texture helping you focus on the pleasure he was giving you, his mouth following your hips as they moved as you needed them to, his lips sucking and tongue flicking your clit in the patterns he’s learned you love, his tongue strength of doing this for so long for you showing as he just kept going and going, hardly needing breaks and having perfected managing to breath through his nose during this.

You were completely lost in this, pleasure coursing through you as you simply existed through this. He was helping you get overstimulated in the best way, the mix of the music and the way you moved your hips and played with his hair all while he went down on you, it helped tire you out better than imagined. You’d think your mind would wander too easily, but he provided just enough stimulation so that wasn’t a problem. So much so, in fact, you could feel your orgasm slowly building, the frantic movement of your hips and whimpers telling Ben he needed to keep that same rhythm, and he doesn’t disappoint. His hands grip tighter on your thighs, his tongue going harder but the same pace, pushing you over the edge as you unravel above him, your hands moving back from his hair to the headboard, gripping hard as you moaned and slowed your hips, everything having tired you out, your nervous energy now turned to post-orgasm bliss.

Ben slowly moved out from under you, kneeling up to help you lay down, his hands on your waist and thighs as he did so, knowing your thighs had to be sore after all of that, and your shallow, slow breathing an indicator that this worked. As you relaxed, he laid there next to you, arms around you as you came down, eyes closed with your head resting on his chest, an arm draped over his torso. Your hand drifted further down though, where just as suspected, you could feel his hard-on, though he quickly took your hand in his.

“Did you want any help with that, hon?” You asked, looking sweetly up at him with those eyes he never could resist.

“No, love, it’ll pass, I only did that for you and your pleasure.” He said with a chuckle, giving your hand a squeeze as he brushed his thumb along yours. “But if it doesn’t and you get your energy back up, we’ll see” He said sweetly, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead before taking your jaw in his hand, tilting it up ever so slightly before connecting his lips with yours.

“I love you, baby” You said once the kiss was done, it just feeling right to say.

“I love you too, sweetheart” He agreed, placing one last kiss on your forehead once more before settling into a post-sex nap with you.

PERMANENT TAGLIST: @thewinchesterchronicles @queen-irl-af @deacytits @the-holy-black-hole @radiobribri @deaky-deacy-denky @queenbbarnes @brianprobablywill @nyikondlovu @thatswhatiam-lovernotafighter @drowseoftaylor @johndeaconshands

BEN TAGLIST: @littleliv1

SMUT TAGLIST: @rogerfckintaylor

#borhap #borhap fic #ben hardy x reader smut #ben hardy x reader

89 notes · View notes

neworleansspecial · 3 years

Text

Accidents Happen (The Med Groupchat)

Part Eight - Previous Parts and this one available on AO3

crickett: it was an accident i swear i didnt mean to i didnt

Nat: @Ethan Choi @connor can one of you take his phone

connor: he’s nonverbal rn

Bekker: Has anyone heard what happened?

Dr. Lanik: According to the paramedics, Crockett’s car was stationary. They were sitting inside, not driving, because it was cold. They were eating and smoking when a drunk driver hit them from behind. They were near the cliff side, so their car fell about ten feet before getting caught on the rocks and first responders rescued them.

Dr. Lanik: Crockett has a moderate head injury and some scrapes and bruises. Maggie is stable with an open fracture of the radius, closed rib fractures. Sarah has broken glass injuries and a shoulder dislocation. Elsa is the worst off with a head injury we’re still controlling the bleeding of, a partial pneumothorax.

crickett: didnt mean to

connor: he’s being evaluated for shock right now. it doesn’t help that he’s still high.

Bekker: Sarah too. It’s making her calm at least.

Ethan Choi: He’s probably never going to smoke again

FreeWilly: is that really what ur worried about

Ethan Choi: That’s not what I meant

crickett: didnt see the car

Bekker: We know, honey. It’s not your fault.

no-ah: is everyone going to be okay?

April: Physically, it looks like it. Elsa is in a rough place but I’m sure she’ll be fine.

Crockett: didnt see the car i didnt mean to

Crockett: was driving

Crockett: foot on the brake

Crockett: no i was

Crockett: accident

Other Bekker: my hands have been released from prison

Bekker: (plastics pulling the glass out of them and bandaging/stitching where necessary)

no-ah: do you remember what happened?

Other Bekker: most of it

Other Bekker: its not @crickett’s fault

Other Bekker: the other driver had a 0.13 BAC on the scene, and crockett wasn’t even driving. he wouldn’t until he sobered up a little

Ethan Choi: I called his outpatient center and they suggested returning to inpatient for a few days for his safety while he processes this.

Other Bekker: is that what crockett wants

Ethan Choi: It’s what he needs

Other Bekker :/

Dr. Lanik: Elsa is awake!

Nat: That’s good! How is she?

Dr. Lanik: A bit disoriented, but that’s to be expected. Her waking up is a really good sign. The chest tube is in place and we have her on supportive care.

April: I’m glad everyone will be okay

no-ah: and hows mags

Maggie<3: I’m okay, they’re taking me to surgery

no-ah: good luck !

crickett: iwanndhohiewnalredyitguers

Nat: ???

FreeWilly: I speak high he wants to go home and hes in pain

Nat: That raises more questions than it answers

Ethan Choi: What hurts?

Dr. Lanik: I’ll come give him another checkup, see if I can’t figure out what’s going on

connor: probably a headache from the head injury

Dr. Lanik: Probably but better safe than sorry. I’d rather rule out anything else.

Dr. Marcel: head

Dr. Marcel: like gyutar

Dr. Marcel: sleep?

April: Good morning everyone, how are you all feeling?

Queen Elsa: Like I got hit by a bus <3

Other Bekker: it was a four door sedan actually

Queen Elsa: That’s not helpful

Other Bekker: :)

Maggie<3: I’m doing good, just sore.

Ethan Choi: I took Crockett to his hospital today, he’s inpatient for five days, longer if he’s a threat to himself or his sobriety

Other Bekker: hot take but did he agree

Dr. Lanik: We spend so much time talking about Crockett

FreeWilly: theres always something to talk about with him you know

Bekker: on another note, we’re hosting a movie party next week if anyone’s interested. Kid friendly for our daughter. Disney movies, no alcohol, lots of food.

Queen Elsa: I’ll be there! I love disney

Queen Elsa: If I’m out of the hospital

April: You probably will be @QueenElsa

connor: @OtherBekker Crockett didn’t want to go at first but he eventually agreed it was best. he’s allowed to have his phone and if he passes three evals in a row, he can check out. he failed this morning’s eval obviously

no-ah: i worry about him

connor: don’t, besides, he wouldn’t like that

Queen Elsa: how ever will we be stuffed with his home cooking? /s

Dr. Lanik: What’s /s

Queen Elsa: It means I’m being sarcastic or making a joke, since tone doesn’t always come over text

Dr. Lanik: That’s such a good idea?

Queen Elsa: It really is, and it’s really helpful for neurodivergent and anxious people, like me.

Other Bekker: solidarity

Dr. Lanik: What’s neurodivergent?

Queen Elsa: It describes someone who has an “abnormal” (I don’t think that’s the best word?) development or brain function. Basically it just means that your brain doesn’t function the same way as most people. I’m neurodivergent because I’m autistic.

Other Bekker: me too because I have ADHD. and Crockett.

Dr. Lanik: Oh. I’m neurodivergent.

Other Bekker: neurodivergent squad

crickett: adhd/ocd babey

Bekker: Does OCD count?

Queen Elsa: Depends who you ask but most people say yes

Nat: I’ve literally never heard of this

crickett: point and laugh it’s a nt

Queen Elsa: (NT means neurotypical, which is someone who isn’t neurodivergent)

Queen Elsa: That’s not very nice Crockett.

crickett: natalie isn’t very nice to me about being nd so

Dr. Lanik: Oh?

connor: to be fair Nat you’re kinda rude about stuff that’s out of people’s control

Nat: Why am I being attacked right now?

Other Bekker: you’re not lmao

Dr. Lanik: Let’s all take a deep breath and calm down.

FreeWilly: That’s a yikes from me

Maggie<3: I’ve never heard of that stuff, thank you Elsa.

Queen Elsa: No problem. I have some good websites for reading if anyone cares.

Dr. Lanik: DM them to me please

no-ah: I think I might be neurodivergent

crickett: squad goals

Other Bekker: never met a neurotypical friend group, always most of ems got to be divergent

Dr. Lanik: Thank you, I didn’t know that there’s a whole… community, if that makes sense?

Elsa Curry: Yeah no problem. I didn’t know until I was in college, and I joined a club for Autistic people like me. It’s really nice to talk to people who understand what it’s like and have shared experience.

Dr. Lanik: Are there organizations like that for adults? As in, ones for people like me?

Elsa Curry: Probably! You can look it up online and I’ll keep an eye out for something you might like.

Dr. Lanik: Thank you.

#chicago med #james lanik #crockett marcel #ethan choi #connor rhodes #will halstead #natalie manning #maggie lockwood #april sexton #noah sexton #elsa curry #emwrite #medgroupchat #userdee

16 notes · View notes

megalony · 4 years

Text

Our house

This is a new dad! Ben Hardy series I am going to be working on which is sort of like Family Ties. I hope you will all enjoy it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogermeddow @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez @jonesyaddiction @rogahs-drowse @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls

Summary: Ben and (Y/n) have moved into a new house with their five kids. But they aren’t getting along with the neighbours and their house is far from quiet with rowdy kids that each have their own problems.

Ben Hardy masterlist

Series masterlist

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello?" Ben rushed the word through a pant as he held the door halfway open, gripping the wood to the point he thought he was going to get splinters in his palm. He leaned his head to the side as his eyes darted around for a split second, unsure who was at the door and what she wanted.

It was clear by the way he tapped his index finger against the grey wooden door and how he was shifting his weight from foot to foot that he was becoming rather impatient and as if he had something more pressing to turn his attention to. He moved his left arm to push his youngest child a little higher on his hip, feeling her head leaning on his bare arm which made him internally cringe from the feeling of her wet hair sticking to his skin.

"I'm your neighbour, Tina." The woman with clearly dyed blonde hair that fell down to her shoulders smiled in a way that seemed rather awkward and clearly forced. Her eyes creased at the corners showing her features to be sickly sweet in the kind of way that didn't look genuine.

Ben's brows rose as his lips parted into an open-mouthed smile but it was clear he still didn't know what she wanted. He had seen her in her garden last week when they moved in and they had a small two-second introduction then. He didn't feel like this was her formally introducing herself as his neighbour, there was something she wanted but he didn't know what and he didn't know if he really cared. He was rather busy and she was holding him up.

"Nice to meet you... is, is there something I can help you with?" Ben's finger tapped quicker against the wood when he heard one of the boys shouting. He really did have to go and sort them out.

"I thought I'd introduce myself and... um, I wondered if everything was okay? I heard shouting..." She trailed off, clasping her hands together in front of her but her words made Ben's own smile become forced and rather crude. Now he understood why she was here and it wasn't a reason that made him want to get to know his new neighbour very well.

She wasn't here to introduce herself and have a chat, she was here because she was nosy and she had heard Ben and the boys having an argument.

This was exactly the kind of thing Ben hated in their old house and the one before that. If Ben and the kids rowed then the neighbours would hurry round and pester them and try to intervene and tell them all to calm down or argue. It got to the point where Ben had thrown a punch at one of the neighbours who started speaking out of term and insinuating that Ben had anger issues and wasn't a good dad.

They moved to this house a week ago because they needed more space but it had taken this past week to get all the rooms decorated, the shelves and beds and wardrobes all put up and to get toys and clothes ready. They had finally gotten pictures up on the walls and the furniture where they wanted it and everything was now unpacked. They didn't have the time to go and have a chat with their new neighbours and frankly, Ben didn't want to.

Out of the pair, (Y/n) was the more sociable person, she could talk and converse and get along with the neighbours but Ben couldn't. It wasn't that he was unkind or crude in any way, his personality was generally calm and innocent and he got along with everybody. But he just couldn't deal with neighbours. Their home was rowdy and neighbours listened in and thought they knew everything but they got things wrong.

"Everything is fine, thank you, my boys are just a bit hyperactive." Ben tipped his head down as he smiled, clearly indicating that he wanted to close the door.

"Are you sure, because-"

"It was lovely to meet you, but I've really got to go and check on the boys, everything is fine." Ben forced a smile before he closed the door, his smile instantly fading until he looked at Charlie who was curled up against him with her towel wrapped around her frame. She was tracing one of the tattoos on Ben's chest that had captured her attention.

Turning around, Ben headed over to the stairs and made his way up the black carpeted steps that didn't creak like the ones in the old house did. He had to stop for a moment to get his bearings and turned left, heading down the hallway to get to where he could hear two of his three boys shouting.

"What are you shouting for?" Ben stood in the doorway of one of the four bedrooms, his eyes darting between his two eldest boys as he wondered what on Earth they were doing and getting angry about.

"Dad he broke it!" Ronan couldn't help but shout as he held out one of his figurines so that Ben could see. The eldest loved collecting figures, it didn't matter what they were from, he had a lot of Marvel ones and a few Disney statue ones as well. Ronan was the reason the bedroom was full of shelves, so he could put up all of the figurines he owned.

The eldest, who was a double of Ben, held out one of his small Marvel figurines that had the arm and the gun snapped off which rested in his other hand. His face was burning red as he looked like he was going to cry. Ronan had a bad temper that he couldn't control and if things didn't go his way he didn't know what else to do but shout or cry or lash out and something.

"I didn't mean to." Carter responded, tipping his head down but he didn't look too phased.

Carter wasn't much of a double of Ben, he had hazel hair and chocolate eyes and his features were slightly different in the sense that he matched (Y/n) more than Ben. He didn't have a temper like his brother, he simply had an energy level that surpassed even Ben when he was at the gym. The second eldest could run around all day and still not be tired and he didn't sleep either. He had ADHD and he had a sleeping disorder that essentially meant that if he didn't have his meds at night, he wouldn't sleep and it wouldn't bother him or even slow him down.

"Take it downstairs and me or your mum will glue it together, it's okay-"

"He did it on purpose and it's snapped!"

"Ronan don't shout at me! If you want it fixing go and do as I said." Ben rose his voice to gain control before he ticked his head to the side to signal for the eldest to go. As bad as it seemed, Ronan was one of the main reasons the neighbours had come round a lot.

Ronan shouted a lot and it meant Ben shouted back when he wouldn't listen because Ronan simply wasn't afraid of (Y/n). She could tell him off or shout or punish him but he wouldn't learn from it or take it to heart. With Ben, if he laid it on thick and properly raised his voice, Ronan started to listen, he would feel bad and he would try and learn from his mistake or try and calm himself down. But it sounded like a screaming match to the neighbours and it seemed like Ben had a nasty temper but that wasn't the case.

"Carter, be more careful, if you're messing about don't do it in here go outside." Ben tipped his head back against the doorframe when Ronan pushed past him in a huff and stomped down the stairs to go to the kitchen where he knew the glue would be.

"Why do we have to share a room?" Carter sighed, keeping his head tilted down but his eyes up to look at Ben.

"There are four bedrooms in this house and seven people living in it buddy, only one person isn't sharing and that's Cody because he can't be in a room with either of you two. It's not that bad, buddy, this place is bigger anyway so were not all cramped together." Ben gave Carter a small smile before he left the room and headed down to the girls' room to get Charlie dressed.

Ben and (Y/n) had five kids and that meant none of them could have a room of their own. They bought this place because the last house only had three rooms and it was utterly cramped for them all but at the time they didn't have the time to move. Ben had been away a lot filming two movies back to back so moving was out of the option.

The last house had been so bad that Ronan and Carter had to share a room, Ella and Charlie had to share and Cody had to stay in Ben and (Y/n)'s room and the cramped space had been horrible. The house was only meant to be temporary, they moved in right before Charlie was born but they ended up staying for two years before coming here.

The girls didn't mind sharing a room because they were so close in age. Ella was three and Charlie was only two, there was only just a year between them and they were both toddlers. So sharing a room was ideal for them and for Ben and (Y/n).

But Ronan and Carter locked horns a lot, but it was the only option because Cody simply couldn't share with either of his big brothers. Cody was five but he had autism and he hated how Ronan snored and breathed loudly when he slept and with Carter not sleeping well, he was always moving around and it made Cody uncomfortable. It was easier for Cody to have the box room here so that he didn't have to share and he couldn't share with the girls because neither of them slept all the way through the night.

It was also safer for Cody to be on his own because he tended to lash out if any of his siblings upset him. He never meant it but he got upset and if he got into a sensory overload he would sit and scream or hyperventilate. Cody was the other reason that the neighbours normally tried to intervene and get involved.

"Where's mummy?" Ella smiled up at Ben when he entered the dark cherry blossom room that the girls shared. Ella had dark brown hair that was wavy at the ends which hung around her jawline and Ben was rather surprised right now that she wasn't in bed. It wasn't even tea time yet but Ella usually got rather tired.

"Downstairs making tea which I think is ready." Ben kissed the top of her head before he headed over to the changing table and set Charlie down. Her hair was almost bone dry but it was curling all around her head into small blonde waves.

Ben blew kisses onto Charlie's stomach before he started to do up the buttons on her onesie once he'd gotten her into a pull-up. Her smile and squeals always managed to make him laugh. He scooped his youngest up into his arms when she was changed into her rather fluffy onesie. Charlie tended to shift about a lot during the night and throw the covers off so in case she did that, they always made sure she was wearing something warm so she wouldn't get cold during the night.

Ben followed Ella out of the room but reached down just before she got to the stairs and pulled on her pyjama bottoms that were coming down. Ella didn't stop walking, she simply wriggled her hips to help Ben tug them over her pull up before she trotted downstairs.

Leaning down, Ben set Charlie to her feet so she could head into the dining room after Ella as Ben headed into the kitchen. Spotting (Y/n) instantly, Ben headed over and wrapped his arms around her middle just as she handed Ronan's figurine back to him. He leaned his head on her shoulder as she held his hands, her head turning to the side so she could look at him properly.

"All fixed?" He asked, his eyes landing on Ronan who was holding his figurine and inspecting it.

"Yeah." Ronan darted his eyes up to look at Ben before he headed into the dining room to sit down ready for dinner as Ben heard Carter jogging down the stairs, obviously having heard that dinner was ready. Carter ate a lot but with his bundles of energy, he burnt it all off and stayed very skinny.

"Who was at the door?" (Y/n) pressed a kiss to Ben's cheek, noticing by his expression that it wasn't someone they knew or were friends with.

"Lady from next door, heard the boys shouting and 'thought she could help'." Ben rolled his eyes, he was all for neighbours being friends and all, but he didn't think trying their neighbour was doing it the right way. It wasn't kind to try and be nosy and act like she knew what to do to help when she didn't know them at all. She didn't know how many kids they had, she didn't know Ben or (Y/n)'s names or the kid's names, she knew nothing about them but she came trying to muzzle in because she thought they were being rowdy.

"Have you seen Nigel from the other side yet?" (Y/n) hadn't met the neighbour Ben had talked to today but she met the man who had the house next to them on their right side. Ben shook his head with a blank expression, he didn't want to know them and (Y/n) knew it.

"Why?"

"Good, you'd row with him, I know it. Come on, dinner time." (Y/n) didn't want Ben getting to know Nigel because from what she had seen, he wasn't the kind of person Ben would get along with. He seemed nosy but rather odd and a bit creepy, the way he spoke with (Y/n) wasn't the kind of person she would get along with herself and she just knew Ben wouldn't get along well with him.

(Y/n) pressed her lips to Ben's quickly before untangling herself from his arms to go into the dining room where all the kids were already sat. Cody had been sitting in the kitchen with (Y/n) helping make dinner, cooking and baking were one of the few things that Cody could do without getting bored or unsettled.

Leaning over one of the chairs, Ben picked Charlie up so he could sit her in her high chair before he sat down next to her with Cody on his left.

"Boys, no shouting at the table." (Y/n) looked over at Ronan and Carter before her eyes drifted to look at Cody who was sitting beside her. He didn't like loud noises or raised voices and he couldn't eat if there was too much noise, it was one of the reasons they couldn't take Cody out to restaurants unless he wore headphones or they sat out the way in a quiet corner.

"Daddy, can you do the fairy lights tonight?" Ella looked over at Ben, meaning the heart-shaped fairy lights that they had bought just before they moved house. She loved any kind of lights like that but Ben hadn't gotten round to putting them up yet and Ella still had to decide whether she wanted them hanging over her bed or pinned on the wall next to her bed.

"Sure princess, after you've had a bath we'll put them up." Ben nodded, taking a bite of his food as his other hand held Charlie's fork to try and prompt her to eat something as well.

Ben's eyes drifted to the other end of the table, watching as Carter placed his hand over the top of his plastic cup of juice without saying anything as he continued to eat his dinner. A sigh passed through Ben's lips as he turned his attention to Cody who was the reason Carter was smothering his drink. Cody sometimes downed all of his drink at dinner and they tried to get him to eat something before he had another drink or he wouldn't eat. A lot of the time he would try and take someone else's drink but Ben and (Y/n) were trying to get him out of that habit.

"Cody, eat something first then I'll grab you another drink." Ben prompted, feeling relieved when Cody sunk back into his chair but started to eat anyway.

"Dad tell him off!"

Turning his head from looking at Charlie to looking at Ronan a few minutes later, Ben couldn't figure out the problem until his eyes trailed over the table and landed on Cody. The five-year-old had leaned over snatched some onion rings from Ronan's plate.

"Cody, you can't do that buddy it's not fair. There's more in the kitchen if you want them, Ronan." Ben ate one of his own onion rings as he kept his eyes on his boy sitting next to him who had his head tipped down, looking content enough as he ate his onion rings. He couldn't get angry with Cody because as bad as it was that he took other people's food and drink, he didn't understand yet. He saw something he wanted and he tried to take it thinking he could but he would learn soon enough.

"Idiot." Ronan grumbled before he flicked some mashed potato across the table at Cody who jumped when the food landed on his top.

Cody's response was simply to grab his beaker which he was clearly going to launch at his eldest brother. Groaning in frustration, Ben quickly leaned to his left and grabbed hold of Cody's hands, taking the beaker from him before he wrapped Cody up in his arms and sat him on his lap.

"What did you go and do that for? If he tries to take something of yours just tell him not to and block your plate and there's more in the kitchen anyway. Don't go and throw stuff at him like that." Ben handed Cody one of his onion rings to keep him calm and eating but there was clear anger on his face as he looked at Ronan. He knew not to tease or mess with Cody because it wasn't fair and they all knew Cody sometimes acted out but he couldn't help it. He wasn't being naughty or being rude on purpose.

"If I nicked his food you'd tell me off-"

"You understand it's wrong to do that, he doesn't now stop winding him up." (Y/n) cut in. She and Ben couldn't help but be protective over Cody because he got upset and if he didn't understand or he didn't feel safe or settled then he would start to cry or scream and they didn't want him getting upset. Ronan was the eldest, he was the one who understood better so he shouldn't go and tease or mess with Cody.

"Can I get some more?" Carter downed his drink before his eyes looked to both parents, their faces not even showing shock anymore when they noticed his plate was cleared.

"Course you can, and bring the onion rings and another drink through please." Ben handed Cody's beaker to Carter before he wandered through to the kitchen with his plate to grab some more. He usually finished first but came back with a second helping which Ben was pleased about because at least he was properly eating.

Ella didn't usually eat a lot, Charlie was still only two so she was still in a fussy stage, Ronan went in phases and with Cody it was always different. Some days Cody would refuse most meals and other days he would eat and want more and more or just eat whatever he was given and be finished. It was like the lottery with all the kids except for Carter, they could always count on him to eat everything and still go back for more.

When Carter came back through, Ben placed a few onion rings onto Charlie's plate since she was mostly finished. He dumped a few on his own plate and on Ronan's and then simply placed a lot on Cody's plate, knowing that Cody was now simply going to eat the onion rings and nothing else but he was eating so Ben didn't care.

Carter smiled gently and held Cody's beaker out to him, watching his younger brother juggle his beaker in one hand and a large handful of onion rings in the other until Ben silently took them from his hand and put them back on his plate. Not wanting him to try and stuff five into his mouth at once.

Glancing her eyes over to Ben, (Y/n) smiled as she leaned her head on her hand, looking at all five kids. They were all a handful in their own way and their house was never quiet or dull or calm, but both of them knew they wouldn't want it any other way.

#ben hardy #ben x reader #ben hardy imagine #dad! ben #imagine #borhap #our house

71 notes · View notes

cynicalrainbows · 4 years

Note

Another ADHD Annie headcannon (sorry if this is annoying btw, you’re one of my favourite Tumblr/AO3 writers and I like hearing your thoughts on stuff!) Anne can’t take some types of pain relief because they overlap with her ADHD meds but she doesn’t tell the other queens this until she’s like, dying with cramps or something and Jane keeps on offering pain relief. Anne ends up yelling that she can’t take it? It’s a weird concept and I may be projecting but I feel like it would cause an issue?

You’re so sweet anon, and it’s definitely not annoying- I just wanted to have energy to write a proper reply to this!

I wonder how this would work in practise- like, has Anne not admitted to being on medication to the other queens? I can definitely imagine her being unwilling to admit to it if she accidentally gets exposed to a lot of anti-medication internet stuff (bc she’s afraid the queens will feel the same way).....although even if she has told the queens she’s on meds, I can imagine them forgetting the details (like Anne saying she can’t take painkillers now) and Anne being unwilling to remind them because she’s afraid they’ll think she’s being difficult (although ofc they wouldn’t really). And so she tries just brushing Jane off- she doesn’t want to fully refuse the meds because that will draw more attention to it, so she just keeps saying she’s ok, and Jane can tell she isn’t so she keeps asking and then Anne snaps- and then has a huge rush of guilt when she sees how hurt Jane looks/when Cathy asks why she didn’t just say she couldn’t take the pills in the first place. Ooh I can also imagine this all being precipitated by Anne being....like questioned on her condition and on her meds by someone concern-trolling her (like asking how she feels comfortable taking all those chemicals into her body and doesn’t she worry she’ll get addicted and surely the meds can’t do THAT much)....so she is reluctant to tell Jane she can’t take the painkillers out of worry that Jane and the others will start questioning her too...

#six #six the musical #six the musical headcanons

9 notes · View notes

phoebewallerbrigde · 5 years

Text

All For Us, (a Reddie x Euphoria HBO) fanfiction

"It was the end of summer, back-to-school was coming up, I had no intention of staying clean and Richie Trashmouth Tozier was back in Derry."

Without any filter but with humor and franchise, here's the harsh coming of age story of Derry's youth through the eyes of Eddie Kaspbrak, 17, fresh out of rehab.

read it on AO3 || Explicit || 8k || 1/?

Hope you like it guys !

There was a time in my life where everything was fine, but that, that was before I was ripped out of my mother’s womb. Since then, it’s been shit.

Chapter 1 : Screwed.

I was born on September 3rd, 2002 in a world post 9/11 completely overwhelmed by the mourning and the duty of memory. It has been four months since Sam Raimi's Spiderman was at the top of the world box office and that Peter Parker had managed to give hope to America and New York. Far from everything and from New York, there was my mother and my father, and I was their Spiderman. Nice, huh? I don’t think so.

---

My life begins without warning with a childhood in a big house in the depths of America's asshole. Derry, Maine. A small town so small that everyone knows each other and knows everything. That’s where the problems start. My father became ill when I was 9 years old and my overprotective mother was already beginning to fall into what I call "parental and marital abuse". Life at home was absolutely not great, especially because of my "not fitting" behavior.

"Eddie-bear, is everything okay?" asked Sonia Kaspbrak worried.

A 10-year-old Eddie was still staring at the front door counting seconds every time he heard the clock tick of the dining room.

"Eddie-bear, look at me." she added in a calm voice. "You did not even touch your .."

Eddie turned her head to Sonia and began to cry at once. Sonia and Frank looked at each other in amazement, feeling completely helpless.

They did what every healthy-minded parent would do, choosing to consult several doctors, a psychologist and a children's psychiatrist. I wasn't physically abused, I always drank at least a liter of water a day, my mother prepared me good dishes, my father did not hit me...

"Your son has OCD, ADHD and anxiety. He has a higher brain activity than the average child for his age, probably due to hypersensitivity and perhaps also to behavioral disorders... But he’s still too young to tell."

The psychiatrist's voice left a blank in the room and Sonia Kaspbrak burst into tears. Frank stroked his wife's back for reassurance and Eddie turned to his mother without understanding what was happening.

So why do I have this?

---

"Neuroatypical, you are neuroatypical, Eddie-bear."

Eddie mimicked his mother while eating his cereal bowl, she glanced him, he stopped and sighed.

"Show me your phone, I'll check your alarms."

An 11-year-old Eddie contemplated the capsules, pills and other medications that his mother was carefully distributing in each compartment of his medicine box. He handed him his yellow iPhone 5c that he had already unlocked on the alarms page.

"You have to take all your medicine, at the times indicated."

"I know, Ma."

Sonia looked at her son, who continued to eat with a peeved look on his face. She sat down beside him, putting down his cellphone and the box of compartmentalized tablets.

"You know ... there are lots of famous people like you - famous people, super creative and smart." She managed to catch Eddie's attention and then continued. "Look, your favorite actor who plays in The Truman Show for example."

"Jim Carrey?"

"Yes!" exclaimed Sonia with a smile.

Yeah, and we all remember Jim Carrey during the 00s New Year Eve on David Letterman's set.

"A genius." ended Eddie with a smile before getting up and packing his box in his fanny pack.

I don’t really remember my pre-adolescence and all that time when I was 10 to 12. I mean, I remember my friends, how meaningless life was, how fast everything was falling apart for us because of daddy’s pneumonia, and how the world was going way too fast for my brain. And that sometimes, if I happened to think too much about everything, to concentrate too much on an smell or on the number of germs present under the table on which I wrote or on the strange way that I breathed ... I had a violent asthma attack. The space of a moment. But very quickly the space of a moment became all the time and all the time became a fight to fight these crises. And frankly...

"So this day, son?" Frank asked with a smile as Eddie walked into his room still dressed with his backpack.

He could hear his father listen to Queen and David Bowie's Under Pressure, one of his favorite songs who became one of his. That made him sketch a small smile.

"I'm fucking done with it."

---

I’m not necessarily proud of the choices I’ve made, but it wasn’t really like my mom didn’t push me. The house was full of meds. Meds here, meds there, meds in the kitchen, in the bathroom, in the guest room, in the garage. My mother ordered meds profusely but gave me "gazebos" when I was perhaps the one who needed treatment the most. A treatment, I needed a treatment. I got it. It was there in front of me, everywhere, I knew every name and every dose of what the psychiatrist was giving me, it was not hard to remember, so I took it. I took but nothing. I did not feel any difference, the asthma attacks, the tremors, the sadness were still there. I took again and again and always more. When I went to the doctors, they increased the doses and I changed my mother's gazebos with my real meds. It made me feel something in the end, but it was too late, I was already addicted. But after all, is it really my fault? Oh, and I think we say "placebos".

12 years old and already on medication dependence. 13 years old and I stole my father’s morphine and other painkillers. 14 years old and I was asking for more with my psychotropics. 15 years old, I took my 1st taz and smoked my first joint. 16 years old and I sniffed my first rail, the first among others. That's why Georgie Denbrough found me unconscious in my own vomit. I had become a junkie ? I don’t know. I just liked the feeling. The feeling that it gave me, the nothingness. For once on earth, for as long as I can remember, I felt something new every time. It was this need that had led Georgie to scream with fear, which alerted Bill Denbrough to run to discover the disaster and tell him to look for my mother as he tried to wake me up. Poor Big Bill, he thought I was dead. I believed it, too.

I spent the whole summer in rehab after that, I never understood why. Well, I did but I didn’t think I was addicted to drugs. Drugs filled the gap that meds sometimes leave when it’s over. But I’ve learned that meds, too, are drugs.

"Eddie!"

"Georgie!"

Georgie ran into Eddie's arms, Eddie couldn’t help laughing and making remarks about how Georgie was almost ahead of him now. This made Bill laugh when he came to give him their secret handshake before taking the smallest in his arms.

"Hey!" whispered Eddie with a big smile.

Sonia in the distance watched her son squeeze the only two friends she had allowed to come with her to pick up Eddie, since they had been present and saved him with the accident. They ended up taking the road with them to their house.

"I'm so happy you're back home, Eddie-darling, I missed you so much, never do that again, you gave me up for 3 long months, you realize, I could not to do nothing without you, I was so lonely and you know how much I hate it, never do that again, I made an appointment with the hospital for full exams and we will change you your doses, I will take good care of you my ... "

Eddie stopped paying attention to his mother, he looked around, Georgie and Bill cheerfully discussed everything Bill had planned to do to make up for lost time with Eddie. Not to mention the Losers, but Eddie figured out they were in. The brunette one landed on the windowsill and let the wind caress his face. He noticed in the distance a boy on a bicycle, this long and thin figure was telling him something. Brown curls, an alternative style between neglected but sought after, worn out converses, pale skin to death. Eddie’s eyes marveled at his sight when the car passed him. He felt his heartbeat accelerate and his heart pounding.

And that’s when the beginning of the end really began. It was the end of summer, back-to-school was coming up, I had no intention of staying clean and Richard Trashmouth Tozier was back in Derry. I had to talk to the one person who knew everything about everything.

---

"So ... How long have you been back among us? You have completely hidden your return." Mike asked, eating his salad.

"A week and I didn’t hide everything! I was in quarantine between the hospital and at home all week, thanks Ma. Bill didn’t tell you?" said Eddie watching Mike eat.

"Bill and I don’t really talk right now when we see each other. You know that."

Mike is probably the smartest person I know, yet he still didn’t dare tell the love of his life that he loved him. At the same time, he was living on a planet other than ours and didn’t really have time to be a normal high school student. It was easier to fuck Bill and continue to just be his bro than become his significant other.

"Richie is back, by the way."

"Ah."

"Yup, he went to the farm and got a 50$ of weed. He didn’t even want me to give him a price."

"D'you know more?" "Hm... He’s already been here for two weeks. He seemed pretty happy to be back, California changes you a man." said Mike laughing what made Eddie smile. "We’ll see when we get back to school."

Eddie nodded at Mike.

"How are you feeling ?" Mike asked, carefully watching Eddie.

"Great since I gave my life to abstinence and I stopped jerking off." Eddie answered seriously.

"Oh ...... Cool, cool, cool, I'm really happy for you."

"Mike, I’m messing with you. You should see your face." Eddie laughed while Mike gave him a pat on the shoulder. " Anyway, that’s not all, but is your grandfather here, Vegemike?"

"Are you serious bro?"

"Hey, it's not because I'm doing a rehab that I'm going to stay clean."

"But.... Isn’t that the point of a rehab? I won’t let you do something stupid again."

"Come on, just weed."

"You do not like weed, Kaspbrak."

"Fine but can I at least have your cherry tomatoes?"

Mike nodded and smiled at his best friend who continued to eat his salad with him.

Something I missed this summer? My trips to the Hanlon farm. Mike being a divine cook and plus a vegan, obviously, his food was safe and harmless to me. And the Hanlon house was the best hostess for parties, it was big, rebuilt in recent years and far enough to be quiet. I must have missed a lot of parties, but if there was one coming up, Stanley Uris'. And if you thought I was gonna miss it, the last big party before school, so the most important one of the summer, you can suck my dick. That’s probably why that piece of shit of Henry Bowers brought his ass back to the farm. It’s a good thing the Hanlons were selling him their wares for twice as much.

"Yo, there you go! That’s his mama’s boy!" he cried as he entered the storefront. "I thought you were dead. Good, because my knife will be able to tate the ground."

"Go get your shit and get off him, dude."

"You’re lucky I haven’t touched you since you’re the best drug dealer in town, but don’t trust me, nig.."

Mike rose sharply and faced Bowers. His eyes were black and Bowers backed away.

"All right, all right, I’ll go."

I never liked Henry Bowers, and I truly believe no one has ever loved him. Even his father hates him. If you were looking for someone to identify as the rich cis hit white man in this city, it was him. He was "untouchable" or rather believed himself untouchable because his father was the most influential guy in the city. He had been sheriff but had ended up building his business and it had taken. It was quite unbelievable, however, now Bowers was living his best life and did not think he had to be accountable to anyone when he still had a mullet cut in 2019 and that he should clearly shut up the fuck up. Before, he harassed me as well as the rest of the Losers club, for my part I was entitled to homophobic insults in profusion. But one day we humiliated him front of his friends. Since then he has left us alone and yesterday’s nerds his become today’s popular. Karma, as they say.

---

It was about to get dark in a few hours, a young man was cycling in the streets of Derry. He was tall, fine and handsome. A car passed by him and he was destabilized.

"Back among us, motherfucker, this is my secret sauce as a welcome gift, Tozier!"

Bowers' voice was loud and Hockstetter's laugh had not failed him. Richie had managed to avoid the milkshake he had sent him. He gave him fingers as he went away and Richie sighed on his way home. He passed by the kitchen and dropped off his racing bag and went to his room where he threw himself into his bed. He took out his phone and went straight to Grindr. Richie was scrolling, watching nudes, messages, chatting with people, going from Grindr to Tinder, and finally finding happiness. For tonight, anyway, then took a nap.

If there was anyone that nobody expected to see again in Derry, it was Richie fucking Tozier. He told me he was back from his parents' divorce. His father had kept the old family house in which he lived in Derry. Something must have happened with his mother in California because Richie preferred to come and live with his father in our good ol' Derry, but he refused to tell me what happened. That Tozier really is a moron.

Richie awoke. It was already 7 pm. He sighed, got up, went downstairs to eat with his father who had prepared some homemade pizzas and then went back to his room. It was 8 pm. He got motivated, launched his "Party times" playlist which debuted on Plus Putes Que Toutes Les Putes from the French band Orties. He took a shower and picked out an outfit. When he found the right one, he couldn’t help but smile. A black wide sweater with a yellow stripe in the middle and "The villa hopes" written on it, simple black slim jeans, red socks and its Converses x 70 x OFF Springs Velour Patchwork. He rolled up his sleeves, made himself up by putting on black, blue, yellow and red eyeliner to make an editiorial makeup, nothing too dramatic. He was dancing in front of his mirror and laughing. He passed his hands several times without his brown curls, put big silver rings on his fingers and finally put on his necklaces including his favorite, the one with a red balloon pendant. He took his Lacoste fanny pack and while looking at it, he had a little smile thinking of the one person who had never stopped wearing these before it became trendy again. He went down the stairs and fell on his father.

"Oh, look at yourself ! So, where are you going?" asked Wenthworth Tozier while observing his son.

Richie arrived in front of his father after crossing the living room. They lived in a beautiful house, quite luxurious from the outside as well as the inside. Richie hugged his father to reassure him.

"To a party, with friends."

"Friends ?"

"Yes, my old friends, dad."

Wenthworth nodded and Richie waved his hand with his index finger and middle finger at his temple before moving them away.

"Watch out, have fun and protect yourself, Rich!"

Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Tozier, Richie was sure to protect himself properly with those Saint Laurent condoms in his bag.

Richie smiled at his father before taking his bike and leaving.

Richie did not want his return to make too much noise. Yet it was all the opposite effect. Everyone who had lived in Derry between 2002 and 2016, so everyone, knew Richie Trashmouth Tozier. The first to know about Richie's return was Ben. Simply because the two were following the same two-week artistic summer course that the school had organized. It was a little stupid because Richie was a little genius despite appearances and Ben was just good at everything without having to force. At least Ben had been able to reconnect with Richie and pass the information to the rest of Losers, but except me, of course.

When he arrived in front of a hotel in the city, he smiled at the message of the chosen one and sent a message to Ben.

[Forget me for tonight, I have a date.]

Ben glanced at his phone, and then at Beverly. Both exchanged suspicious looks.

"What’s going on?" Beverly asked.

"It’s Richie. He says he’s not coming tonight."

"What did you told him?" Beverly looked at herself in the mirror.

"Nothing! He’s just gonna do his little business with someone."

"Oh okay, chill, he’ll come later. Why you scare us like that!" replied Beverly getting close to Ben to give him a kiss on the cheek.

Ben went red in action and Betty Ripsom made a disgusting sound. Beverly stopped to look at the brunette, she had completely forgotten her presence. After all, it was her who'll dropped them off at Stanley’s. "Stop. You’ll do the same thing tonight and even more," she said looking at her.

In case you're wondering, yes, Ben is in love with Bev. For far too long for me to remember. For Bev, however, nobody really knows. Bev is a mystery to everyone, I still wonder why she's friends with us. She's a cheerleader, she's so popular, much more than Mike or Bill or Stan. She has a reputation behind her, yet it has never stopped her from being the baddest bitch in town. A real rolemodel to the twink that I am. Perhaps the most amazing thing is that she was fake dated for a month with Bowers just for a bet and it lasted until today, well, until two days ago. She still made 200 dollars on it every month.

"You slept with Bowers, you do not have the right to speak." Betty retorted.

"A hand job. It was a hand job and it happened once during the 3 months of the bet. Then anyway, Bowers is a clown. It’s not Penny Wise who’s gonna say otherwise. I was able to take away as much as I could before I dumped him. And tonight, we move on." she said, turning to Ben.

"Yes, that’s what everyone wants to hear! Shit Ben, tonight you have to fuck! Not just a handjob or a blowjob! It’s not the '80s anymore, you have to catch some pussy."

Ben smiled slightly embarrassed and turned to Beverly who grinned while listening to Betty. He totally ignored Betty’s words, then lowered his head, a little disappointed. He really wanted to disappear underground at this very moment.

In his place, I’d like to, too. Thank you, Betty.

---

"Ma ? I’m leaving."

"Where, Eddie-bear? And so late? You can’t leave me like this." Sonia said as her son came into the living room. "And dressed like that? You look like a bad boy, I don’t like it."

"That’s my usual style, Ma. It’s only 10 pm and I’m going to Bill’s. Don’t wait for me and don’t panic. And yes, I took my medicine with me and my insulin just in case. See you, Ma."

A 16-year-old Eddie closed the front door and leaned back against it, looking down the street and sighing. He was divinely handsome, he had combed his hair, put glitter on his eyes and mascara which gave him an even more intense look. He had put on a silk shirt with patterns like the rich women's scarves, the colors were soft and pastel like salmon, beige, yellow or baby blue but it contrasted with his lame bomber and his slightly tanned and brilliant skin. With that, he had put some necklaces and he also let see his chest. He was wearing his white low converses and black skinny ripped jeans. He took a puff from his inhaler and looked at his bike lying on the ground. He turned his head away and began to walk. He took out his airpods and launched one of his Daily Mix on Spotify, he closed his eyes at Alphaville's Forever Young.

It is never easy to leave this house with a mother as unbearable as mine. In fact, I lied. I’m not going to go to Bill’s, it would be too much of a detour. We’ll meet at the party. I preferred to walk because when I drink, I don’t take the road because...

All the times he passed out, in the middle of the road completely drunk, kept coming to his mind as a nightmare.

You got it, anyway. I know, you're surprised that I drink, but alcohol is pretty much the same as my meds. Except for beer, I hate beer.

Eddie was quietly walking around, dancing, listening to Rubberband Man from the Spinners, and clearly living his best life. When a noisy car because of the music made itself heard more and more as it passed by. The passengers listened to Dang! of Mac Miller and that made Eddie smile, he loved Mac Miller.

"Oh my god, stop the car." exclaimed Beverly. "I said stop the car, Betty."

"Why ?" Betty asked, slowing down.

"We just passed Eddie Kaspbrak!" said Ben looking in through the back window.

"Oh my God! I think he was dead." Betty laughed.

"Shut up. You should be the one to die, Ripsom." Ben replied.

Eddie walked in front of them, not paying attention.

"Yo, the comeback!" yelled Beverly what pulled Eddie out of his music.

He turned to her and looked at her with a smile. She had a big smile and he leaned towards her.

"It’s good to see you again, we missed you." she said in all sincerity.

Ben nodded, which made Eddie smile, he almost had tears in his eyes. His best friends had not forgotten him.

"Are you being dropped somewhere?" Betty Ripsom asked.

"Well, thank you !"

Eddie waved to him and Ben opened the back door. He got into beautiful Betty's Volvo and Bev turned to him.

"What the hell are you listening to? Certainly not the New Kids On The Block." She said looking at Ben who shook his head negatively by squinting his eyes.

Eddie looked at his iPhone 8, Rubberband Man was finished, he pouted at the next song.

"London Calling." he answered hesitantly.

"Perfect."

The music started in the car, all four began to jam in the car while singing.

The party was already in full swing when I arrived with the others. Stan’s house was shining from the outside and eclipsing all the other houses, it was beautiful to see. From the inside, it looked like it was going to explode. In every room, chaos. A kind of stifling heat emanated as Megan Thee Stallion’s Hot Girl Summer filled the house. The minute Stan’s eyes crossed mine, he left Patricia for my arms. It was nice, it wasn’t every day that Staniel gave you a hug.

"Oh, fuck, Edward Kaspbrak himself, that's crazy, I .. I'm so happy to see you!" Stan shouted in his arms. Stan held him so tight that Eddie felt he was going to choke him. He must have been a little drunk. He was wearing a stretch short-sleeved shirt in washed jeans with black pants and chelsea boots. It was divine.

He had always been, it was Stan, he could afford it. He was smart, mature, funny, an excellent counselor, the mom of the group and he also organized the best parties in high school. How having money is really cool.

"Hey everyone! Look who’s back! To Eddie!" shouted Bev while lifting up her shot of tequila in the air.

The people present in the room did the same and repeated these two words at the same time. Bill raised his glass in my direction, he gave me a big smile and I was a little embarrassed. Everyone drank their glasses. Bev gave me a shot of tequila, everyone was looking at me now. It was weird. Being the center of attention is clearly not my stuff. But, I drank that shot and after that, everyone screamed for joy. Bev gave me a hug, then Mike just added himself to the hug, then Bill and then Stan. The Losers were together and I could clearly hear Billie Eilish’s Bellyache in my head.

---

The hotel was rather classy, the room too, thought Richie. He did not know that places like this existed in Derry. The chosen one was therefore fortunate. When he returned from a room that served as a kitchen with two glasses of champagne. Richie looked at him carefully, he liked to sleep with older men, but he never imagined that Butch Bowers was that kind of man.

Thank you." he said, looking at the man standing in front of him.

"Your face is familiar to me, have we ever seen each other?" Butch asked, looking at Richie.

Later, Riche told me that at the moment he wanted to say yes. He really should have done it.

"Not that I remember."

Butch nodded and drank his glass of champagne.

Richie had said he was 18, technically he was not lying, he was actually going to have them. The knowledge. And Richie was consenting.

Butch watched Richie.

"We will not fuck, you're too young."

Richie nodded, he avoided swallowing.

"I envy your generation, however. When I see you, I see two life choices."

He stroked Richie's cheek, then his lips with his thumb. Richie was looking at him almost religiously. There was a kind of tension in the room. They were not going to sleep together, but it was almost as if. In a parallel dimension, it was happening.

"You can leave, live an extremely beautiful life elsewhere, be fully yourself, find love, or you can stay here and end up like me, hanging out in fancy hotels." Butch continued looking at Richie's eyes.

"Both choices are possible." retorted Richie.

Butch's thumb sank into Richie's mouth.

"If only I could, I'd smash you." he said in a low voice.

Richie closed his eyes. He could not really say what he was looking for in this kind of completely barge plan. But there was so much he was looking for. One was definitely that special bond he had once bonded with a unique person in his life. When both made leave of this vocal flirtation, this visual fuck. Richie put California by Lana Del Rey in his ears.

He looked at the door of the closed bathroom because the chosen one was taking a shower, he must have met someone before him and shoot his shot. Richie looked at his phone and left the room without making a noise. Once outside the hotel, he lit a cigarette. He took a few steps to his bike, when the song ended, the cigarette was too. He changed his song and went straight to Stan's house.

And there. The evening went fucking nuts.

The huge stairs in Stan's house were flooded and mobilized by people kissing, drinking or whatever. The music was in full swing, Eddie did not know the song, but he would have sworn it was one of the songs that Mike composed during his free time. He pushed people a bit to pass and went to the nearest toilet. He closed the door and looked at himself in the mirror before taking a breath of his ventoline. He kept looking in his bag with a tiny vial of white powder inside. There was almost nothing, but it did not matter because Eddie knew it was extremely strong. He spread it on a small spatula attached to his keychain which he had disinfected before and sniffed everything. He ran a hand through his hair and left the room. The sensations becoming stronger, his brain seemed to be reviving.

Blackbear’s Hot Girl Bummer burst into his ears. Suddenly, the world around him seemed to be totally out of sync with him. He almost lost his balance. Standing on the wall, clinging to people, Eddie laughed. The world revolved around him and he danced on the music that filled his brain.

All you need to know is that there are several versions of what happened tonight. It all depends on who tells you the story and... I’m not necessarily the most reliable narrator for this evening. But what I can assure you is that Bowers screwed up.

Bowers had been drinking since before with the party. He spent the night looking for Beverly and she wasn’t that hard to find she was in the Uris pool. Even wet, she was still the most beautiful girl of the party. She made a fairly simple make up. You’d think she had nothing if you didn’t know the basics of makeup. She was having fun with Betty and Audra Phillips, Bill’s ex, by doing a water fight and singing along on to Russ’s Do It Myself. And who knows why, Bowers as the fragile man that he is, wanted to break the moment.

"Slut!" he shouted as he reached the terrace.

He pointed to Beverly who turned to him.

"Yes ?" she replied, with a great deal of irony, a smile on her lips.

Everyone laughed and scolded Beverly's name. Bowers turned speechless. Beverly's smile widens.

"Well then, 2 minutes 30 lost his big mouth?" she said, coming out of the water and facing Bowers. "That is what I thought."

Everyone was watching the confrontation carefully. The first one since Beverly dumped Bowers and announced that it was all just a bet between her and Stan.

"Shut the fuck up, you only suck anyway."

"How could you know that since I would never suck you Henry Bowers? Now, please stop humiliating yourself in public. Go back to Greta Keene and forget about me, okay."

Bowers wanted to fight back but Beverly pushed him into the water and Georgie grabbed his leg to make it easier for him to fall. Everyone shouted and laughed. Stanley stood up and turned away from Mike, Bill and Eddie and apologized to see what was going on with Beverly.

"Really ?" He asked.

"You'll pay me Losers." he said as he stepped out of the pool and back inside.

Losers: 1. Bowers: 0. The school year is starting well.

Bill and Mike were laughing and Eddie smiled at Beverly.

It was at that moment that they concluded. The funny thing is that Bill, when he's alcoholic, totally loses his stuttering. So it was amazing to hear him speak clearly to Mike, especially when it was a rim job. I would have preferred not to be here to hear that. But I'm sure I heard a "I love you Mikey" so finally it was worth it.

"Everything's okay, bro?" asked Mike, noticing his presence again.

"Yeah.. Yeah, that’s fine... Glad to see you two are okay." he said, smiling and watching Bill blush.

At the same time, there was another one for whom things were going well. Ben Hanscom. Ben was playing truth or dare in one of the upstairs rooms with several of the Cheerios like Myra Stonehart or some of the guys from our class. Normally, truth or dare was the game we used to play when we were playing between us only, but here, it turned into a conversation about sex. And Ben Hanscom wasn’t a pro on the subject.

"What are you really virgin?" asked one of the guys in the discussion. "And do not say that a pipe, that counts."

"It counts." retorted Myra.

"You know nothing about it Myra. You're the one who wants to fuck Eddie Kaspbrak while everyone knows he's gay and clearly not interested."

Myra looked up at the skies with a grin.

"Who are you saving yourself for, man?" asked another one of the guys.

Beverly Marsh.

"No one. I’m just waiting for the right moment." Ben replied.

"Like, now’s not a good time?" asked another cheerleader. "If, I asked you to sleep with me tonight, what would you say?"

Ben blinked several times at Anna’s question and remained speechless.

Of course, Ben is an eternal romantic. He writes rose water's poems, appreciates courteous love stories and is much stronger when it comes to putting his thoughts on paper than saying it out loud. But, Ben Hanscom was definitely not a coward. He was just a virgin in a society where we wanted boys to breathe and eat porn all day long.

Anna leaned back to Ben.

"You’re super cute, Ben. You used to be before you started working out. In 5 years you’ll be a sex bomb and I want my cut now." she said in a rather serious tone.

The whole room was breathless, Anna was one of the sexiest girls in high school. Ben nodded softly and Anna smiled.

"Everybody clear this room now!"

---

While Ben surely lived what would be one of the most memorable evenings of his life. Richie Tozier had arrived at the party, and I was sprawled on that couch by the pool watching Mike and Bill be in love. Shit, I want what they have. At the same time, Beverly was playing in the pool with Audra and Betty, but you already know the rest.

"By the way, Eddie, you owe me 120 bucks." Mike said looking at his friend.

"Yeah, but I thought our friendship and the fact that I'm alive made up for that." Eddie replied.

"If you say so." Bill replied.

Stan came to join them.

"Frankly, Eddie, I missed you, we missed you all, it was not the same this summer without you, your drug stories make me feel bad."

"Aw Stan, don’t be sentimental."

"No, that’s not it. I love you, man, but... you really scared us." he said, taking a break before turning to Eddie.

Mike and Bill nodded in agreement with Stan.

"We thought you were dead. And seriously, Eddie, I’ve seen a lot of people die, but I would never agree to see you die for that. I’ve seen a lot of people die, but not people like you." Mike added. "I don’t know exactly what’s going on with your brain, but I can tell you one thing, drugs and getting high is not your solution."

A blank settled in between these four. He was not unpleasant, on the contrary. It was peaceful. They watched Beverly and Bowers fight.

"There’s one thing I remember... it happened when I was nine years old, shortly after my father was diagnosed. We were told that he was going to get better, I mean, that he had a chance of getting better. So, we celebrated it, we went to New York, seven hours back and forth. One of the best moments of my life. I told my dad that when I grew up, I would go to New York and live there."

Eddie’s voice started shaking and Stan gently shook his hand.

"Then we came home and I remember... that night, I slept with my parents and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. As if there was no oxygen in the world. My parents called the ambulance thinking I had a violent asthma attack. At the hospital, they gave me opium. Liquid. To calm me down and... then I thought, 'Okay, so that’s what I need'. Not mom’s medicine. That. Because all of a sudden, it was as if everything had become simpler. The noise, the voices in my head, everything was gone. Everything. Being in my head wasn’t a problem anymore. Four years later, he passed away and the asthma attacks that were actually anxiety and panic attacks continued. But that’s okay. I found a way to survive. I have you, guys. I have my psychiatrist. My medecine. Maybe it will kill me..."

Stan kissed Eddie's hand in support then got up and went to see the mess with Bev.

"Hey! Don’t say that!" yelled Bill slowly to Eddie before giving him a pat on his head.

"Touch me again in that ugly mustard buffalo shirt and I’ll kill you, Big Bill." Eddie laughed.

The three friends focused on the story of Bev and Bowers. Then Eddie stood up to give his best friends more privacy. Bowers had stormed into Stan’s apartment in the kitchen to get drunk. Blur’s Girls and Boys was in full swing throughout the house and the first thing Bowers did was not to drink, but to sweep a few bottles here and there with the back of his arm. Eddie and Stan followed Bowers wanting to throw him out of the party and Beverly Marsh had left the pool to annoy Mike and Bill that she had dragged inside after getting dressed.

"Get out of the kitchen!" screamed Bowers scaring everyone. " Get the fuck out."

The people around him backed back carefully to avoid getting a piece of glass, while watching Bowers lose it. Richie dug himself into a corner of the kitchen staring at Bowers totally destabilized by his behavior. Eddie, Stan, Mike, Bill and Bev entered the crowd.

"What's your fucking problem?" he said looking at Richie.

Richie looked at the sides and then looked at Bowers, he didn’t know what to say.

"Why are you here?" he says, moving forward and sticking to him. "Huh? You can't speak ? Aren't you Trashmouth Tozier for nothing?"

At the Trashmouth name agreement, Eddie’s attention got bigger. Shit, what is Richie doing here ?

"Can I know who invited you? You don’t even have any friends here. Everyone forgot you."

"Listen, uh. I don’t want any trouble, I just want to spend a chill night in my corner." Richie said, looking him in the eye.

He didn’t even blink.

"People like you are not here to stay in their corners. You are a problem here, you see, nobody answers. Nobody!" he shouted at Richie.

Richie grabbed the first kitchen knife and pointed it at Bowers, who backed away.

"You think you scare me? You think you scare me, Bowers? You know what we do to sons of cops like you in California?" yelled Richie in turn as he moved towards Bowers. "Back the fuck up!"

"I was fucking kidding. I was fucking kidding !"

"I’m not afraid of you, Bowers."

"W-put the knife down, okay? Put it down! I was laughing."

"You want to hurt me? You have no idea who I am." Richie yelled when he put the knife down.

At the same time he cut his hand without intentionally doing with one of the glass pieces of broken bottles. The spectators cried out in complete shock at this spectacle.

"You see. I absolutely don’t feel pain."

"Are you fucking crazy or something, Loser !?" added Bowers.

Bowers stood in his trembling corner, everyone watching the scene between confusion, admiration, shock and total chaos.

"No, I’m Richie Tozier. And it’s good to be home. Great party tho, Stan the man !" he said while smiling before leaving the room.

Oh yeah... fuck me.

Eddie quietly left his friends after that.

Ben came back down the stairs and saw Richie leave the party in fury.

"What did I miss?" Ben asked Mike.

"Where were you, man? You missed the craziest thing ever !" Mike asked Ben.

"I took care of my business."

Mike stares at Ben not fully understanding what Ben meant.

"I’ve lost my virginity."

"What? With whom?" asked Mike.

"Anna Addams."

"Wow. The Anna Addams?" he said with a smile. Ben confirmed by nodding his head, then Mike took him in his arms. "Well! Congratulations! How was it?"

"You should ask her."

Mike laughed and joined Stan in the kitchen. Stan gave Bowers a broom, cleaning supplies and a shovel.

"Clean up, or I’m going to get Richie." Stan said with a black look and a cold, stern voice.

Bowers took them and resigned himself. He glanced at Mike, Mike supported him, and Bowers resigned himself.

"I will stay in case you botch the job. Oh, after that, you and your friends will leave the party. Thank you." added Stan who was joined by Patricia, his girlfriend.

---

Eddie came out of the Uris house looking for Richie Tozier. He found him quite quickly getting his bike back.

"Hm... is everything all right?" Eddie asked while watching Richie.

Oh my God.

"Uh, yeah, it's good, don’t worry, m... Eddie Spaghetti?"

Richie smiled and blinked several times before moistening his lips. His smile came back, but this time in a corner one. He watched Eddie attentively, capturing every detail of his face. His hair was slightly unscrewed, his mascara had dripped a little and mixed with the glitter on his eyes. His pink lips, his freckles, his smile. Richie hugged him.

Wow. I think I’m getting hard.

"Yes yes, it’s m... Hey, don’t call me that!"

"You look good. It just smelled like trouble in here."

Eddie opened his eyes and began to blush slightly.

"Thank you, you’re not bad either... Yes! Yes, I understand your action. It’s just what you did... It was deadly classy."

The two stared at each other for a moment. Richie noticed the necklace on Eddie’s red balloon pendant.

"You still have it! That’s so cool."

"Oh the necklace? Yes! I’m not leaving it. You too, from what I see! You... you’re going somewhere?"

"At my place." Richie replied.

"I.. Can I come?"

"Yeah, of course! But your mother ? How is she since the last time I fucked her ?" Richie asked while mocking Eddie.

"Fuck my mother."

Yeah, fuck my mom. I found back the only boy I’ve ever loved in my entire life, looking like a fucking greek god and I still have to think about my mom ? Not today, Ma, not today.

The two took the road on Richie’s bike. Bowie’s Heroes passed on Eddie’s little JBL bluetooth speaker. Then, Richie suggested him to put Eddy de Preto's Fête de Trop. He was thrilled, clinging to Richie’s waist and resting his head on his back. He had strangely waited for this moment all week. It may not have happened the way he hoped, but Eddie was appeased.

Once they entered the Tozier house, they both went up to Richie’s room. Not much had changed compared to before, it was perhaps closer and more harmonious. Richie undressed and changed into pajamas, Eddie did his best not to look and Richie laughed at him. He gave her one of his sweaters that turned out to be too big for him, but anyway, he loved it and Richie loved seeing Eddie like that. He was just so...

"Cute. You’re so cute, Eds!"

"Stop it, won't you ?!"

Eddie rushed to clean Richie’s wound and apply a bandage with his first aid kit. Richie teased him by calling him Doctor K. and it was like Richie never left Derry. Richie had always been there somewhere and Eddie had seen him become a young man. Once the wound was cleaned and dressed. They took off their makeup and then the two men went face to face in Richie’s bed. They didn’t really need to talk to each other to say all the things they had on their hearts. They both laughed and Eddie snuggled in Richie’s arms. Nothing has changed. They still liked sleeping together. They still loved each other.

Mike, Bill and Georgie went home to the Denbroughs, Georgie fell asleep in the car, but Bill took him to his room quietly and then brought Mike in, then in his room where for the first time they spent the night talking when they were only the two of them.

Bev had gone home in the early morning and managed to miraculously avoid her father. She took off her makeup and changed her clothes at Stan’s after helping her clean everything up.

Ben had slept at Stan’s with Anna and had also cleaned everything with Betty, Patricia, Myra and others who had planned a sleepover at his house.

Bowers didn’t go home after cleaning up Stan’s kitchen, he went to Hockstetter’s to get drunk until the morning. Humiliated, uprooted, and completely high. He was severely taken back by his father and mother but especially by his father and went to his bedroom having already found his future victim for the year.

The next day, Richie and Eddie woke up early. Richie stopped by to brush his teeth and wash himself because Eddie forced him to do it and then Eddie did the same. Once back in Richie’s room, Eddie stared at him as he sat on his bed.

"I have an idea." he said softly.

"What?" Richie asked while stroking his hair softly.

"Wanna get high?"

#reddie #reddie fanfic #it (2017)#it (2019)#au: modern setting #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #stanley uris #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #euphoria hbo

33 notes · View notes