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manjiroscum · 2 years ago

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can't believe i caught up to the recent chap 😭 things are def picking up again

LITTLE DARK AGE

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.

genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI

warnings: fem!reader,gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA

chapter warnings: bit suggestive in first section, v fast paced chapter, prepare for whiplash

previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter

CHAPTER ⅩⅤ. BRING A STONE, ALL THE RAGE, MY LITTLE DARK AGE

T-MINUS SIX DAYS.

“Why are you up already?” your voice was soft as you stirred awake at the feeling of long fingers dancing across your bare upper back. You let out a quiet noise when you noticed the bright light emanating from beneath your eyelids and you shifted, trying to bury your face into Ran’s chest. “Nevermind.”

You felt his chest rumble as he chuckled, humming to yourself as he leaned down to kiss the top of your head, “Yeah,” he said dryly, voice rough with sleep, “That’s why.”

“He’s such an asshole,” you said under your breath, knowing damn well Rindou had purposefully slid open the blinds to wake the two of you up. “Just jealous that his body never lets him sleep in.”

You shifted to sit up, intent on going to find Rindou so you could voice your irritations but Ran only groaned, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you flush to him. You huffed, trying to push off of him just for a second but his fingers dug into your skin to keep you in place.

“You’re just as annoying,” you sighed, although there was a sort of fondness to your tone that you hadn’t intended on as you rested your cheek on Ran’s shoulder, opening your eyes to make sure you weren’t leaning too heavy on any of his wounds.

The sunlight burned your eyes for a few moments as you tried to focus in on Ran’s chest and abdomen, frowning when you caught sight of the dark bruises. They didn’t look any better than they had when you first got him out of there, and it caused a pit to start growing in your stomach because you figured that it should at least look a little better after a few days.

He claimed that they looked worse than they felt, but you weren’t quite sure how much you believed him considering every time he moved around, he was clutching his side and grimacing when he thought neither you nor Rindou were looking to notice.

“I’m fine,” he muttered, “Stop that.”

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you,” you replied quietly, “You’ve never exactly been keen on being honest with us when you get hurt.”

“... fair enough,” Ran replied, letting out an amused puff of air, “but I promise that it’s not as bad as it looks.”

“That’s not reassuring,” you said dryly, hand dropping down to his torso to trace the black lines of his tattoos. His abdomen spasmed beneath your light touch, a low hiss slipping past his lips, and you pressed your lips into a thin line, glancing up at him. “I barely even touched you.”

Ran wouldn’t meet your eyes and you let out an annoyed puff of air, shaking your head and rolling away from him, curling up on the opposite side of the bed, back facing him.

You listened to him let out a frustrated sigh, moving closer to you. You huffed when you felt his palm rest on your side, knowing that the only reason he himself wasn’t curling behind you on his side was probably because he wasn’t able to.

“Okay,” Ran admitted, “It’s still pretty bad.”

“No shit,” you said, “You can’t lie to us about this, Ran. What if something happens and they find out where we are? We won’t even know you’re-“

“Then I stay behind and make sure you guys have a chance to escape,” Ran said so firmly that you almost didn’t register what he said.

You sat up instantly, turning to face him, “Are you joking?” you demanded, but Ran did not have the teasing look in his eyes that he usually did whenever he made jokes that he knew would piss you off.

Instead, he looked away and your chest squeezed.

“Ran,” you gaped, “that is not going to-“

Ran reached up, long fingers spreading across your cheek as he cupped your face, turning his face back toward you so he could look you in the eye. “I can’t run,” Ran said quietly. “My body is fucked, y/n. And I don’t know how long it’ll take for it to recover. If they manage to figure out where we are, then I’ll give you guys the best chance of getting out of here I can because I will not be able to keep up.”

You shook your head, “No. We get out of here together,” you said.

Ran rolled his eyes, “We’ll die-“

“Then we die together,” you interrupted loudly, hands fisted tight at your sides. “We’re not going to leave you behind.”

“You and Rindou are the only two people in this world I care about,” Ran spoke after a moment, and you could barely hold his gaze. “Don’t make me be the reason you guys die.”

Your lips parted as if to speak but no words left them.

“You’re unfair,” you breathed out, pulling your face from his hand and looking down at your lap. “Asking that of us… it’s unfair.”

“I’m not sure you have much of a right to be talking about unfairness,” Ran responded—a gentle jab, you could hear the teasing tone in his voice, but you knew that if you looked up, that tone wouldn’t match his eyes.

You didn’t respond to the comment and Ran only let out a breath, shaking his head.

“The safe house is safe,” Ran said. “Sanzu is paranoid about this shit, no one will find us.”

You weren’t too sure about that. Sugawara had access to a lot of top-tier technology, courtesy of none other than you, all it would take was one slip up for everything to come crashing down.

“Come back here,” Ran said, holding an arm out toward you. And you had half a mind to ignore him, still shitty about the comment he had made, but your body was moving toward him on its own.

Your eyes slid shut as you rested your head on Ran’s bicep, sighing softly as he brought his hand to your hair, playing with a few strands absently.

“You worry too much,” Ran murmured.

“You worry too little,” you countered.

You could practically hear the smile in his voice as he spoke, “I think I worry the perfect amount, thank you very much,” he said and you opened your eyes only so that he could see you roll them at him.

“I think the same for me.”

Ran laughed, and as irritated as you might be, you couldn’t help the way your body warmed at the sound and the bright look in his eyes as he turned his head to the side to look at you.

“You’re ridiculous,” he said quietly, but his voice was laced with fondness and his eyes were soft as they met yours.

“Says you,” you shot back without heat, “I swear-“

You didn’t get to finish what you were trying to say, because Ran was leaning in and pressing his lips to yours, swallowing your words before you could get them out. You let out a surprised hum against his lips, eyes fluttering shut, hand coming up to cup his cheek, the pads of your fingers brushing underneath his eye.

He smiled against your lips after a moment, pulling back just enough so that your lips were brushing, “You talk too much,” he breathed out.

“And you-”

Cut off again, you couldn’t help the way your lips pulled up as Ran pressed his lips back to yours before you could finish. Half-rolled on top of you, you tried to pull back to ask him if he should be moving around like that but his hand slid behind your head, deepening the kiss, and it was hard for you to even focus on pulling back, much less on what you wanted to say.

Kissing Haitani Ran was intoxicating, you’d known it since that first night at the club. Every time he pressed his lips against yours it was like a heavy haze settled around your head, clouding your every thought and desire until all you could tunnel in on was him--him, him, him, like a beacon in a dark night.

You toyed with the ends of his short hair, nails scraping against his scalp and Ran let out a low groan against your lips, hips subtly rolling against yours. Your lips turned up even more as Ran shifted fully on top of you, parting your legs so he could slide between them.

“Rin will be-” you began as Ran’s hand drifted between your thighs, fingers dancing along the skin of your inner thigh, but you were interrupted by a familiar voice clearing their throat at the door.

Ran sighed, pulling back and rolling his eyes as he turned his head over his shoulder to look at Rindou, “Shouldn’t you be lifting weights or something,” he asked, irritated, rolling back off of you with a grunt and you couldn’t help but frown at the loss of warmth.

“Just finished,” Rindou said, “Made you guys breakfast but seems like you’re busy.”

Rindou wasn’t angry, you could tell that much, but he certainly looked less than pleased--most likely at being left out. Ran’s lips quirked up at Rindou’s words, “Not hungry, can think of a better way to spend my time.”

You shot Ran a side-eye, “Speak for yourself,” you said, rising to your feet to slip on a stray shirt of his on the floor, “I’m hungry, what’d you make?”

Ran let out a noise of complaint at your words and Rindou shot Ran a rather cocky look as you made your way toward him.

“Eggs,” Rindou said, and you weren’t even sure why you asked because of course it was eggs. You didn’t know if Rindou even knew how to make anything else. As if he could hear your thoughts, Rindou shot you a dark look, challenging you to say something.

You bit your tongue.

You ignored Ran as he continued to voice his irritations, standing up to get dressed while you followed Rindou out of the room. Rindou didn’t speak for a moment, and you eyed him from the corner of your eye, waiting for him to say something but he never did.

It was rather awkward, actually, you nearly winced as the silence continued as the two of you walked toward the kitchen, you could hear Ran following behind the two of you. As the hall opened up into the kitchen, curtains pulled back to let the morning light shine into the room, you shifted on your feet and took a seat at the middle island where Rindou had plated food for the two of you.

“I don’t want to go back to Munich,” you finally said, fork twirling around the scrambled eggs. You could feel both of their eyes on you. “When we leave to travel, I’d rather not go back to Munich but I would like to take you to see Cologne. The Hohenzollern bridge--with all of the locks. I always wanted to do one with the two of you.”

Ran, evidently, knew exactly what you were talking about, lips spreading into a smile, “You’re so cheesy,” he laughed, but his eyes were lit up brightly and you knew he was pleased with your proposal.

“What’s the Hohenzollern bridge?” Rindou’s brows were furrowed as he looked between the two of you and you felt hot when Ran nudged Rindou’s shoulder with his own.

“The love bridge, isn’t she such a cheesy lil romantic?” Ran teased and you bit your bottom lip to smother a giggle when Rindou’s face went bright red at Ran’s words, glancing at you briefly.

“Wh-” he began but you interrupted him before they could continue.

“I’d like to show you Milan too, and Ibiza,” you said, “I think the two of you would enjoy it. There’s supposed to be a fashion show at the Cavallerizze in a few weeks, we could go.”

You looked over at Ran, whose eyes lit up at the prospect, “That sounds-”

“Boring,” Rindou said dryly, Ran glared at him. “After Milan, we should see Rome. Izana always talked about it.”

“Greece too,” Ran added, drawing his gaze from Rindou to look back at you, “You’ve been there, haven’t you? What’s it like?”

You shook your head, “I’ve never been to either,” you said quietly. “Not Rome or Greece, it just…”

It wasn’t something you could handle on your own. Not with all of the reminders of Izana and how things could have been.

“We’ll go see it together, one day maybe we’ll be able to come back to Tokyo and tell him about it,” Ran murmured and your throat felt tight at his words. You placed your fork back down on the plate, staring down.

“Yeah,” you agreed, “I like the sound of that.”

The three of you were quiet for a few moments before you decided to speak up again.

“I wanna go see Geirangerfjord,” you said, leaning back in your seat to glance up at the ceiling as the two of them looked at you. “I had to visit Norway for a business deal once, it was gorgeous, I only got to stay there for a few nights though. Didn’t get to explore.”

“Mucho would’ve liked that,” Rindou said quietly. “Whenever he came over he’d always eye up the travel magazines Mister Ayato had laid out. He stole the one with the Fjords on it.”

You burst into laughter, “Did he really? Mister Ayato was so mad because it was gone before he had a chance to look at it. I told him he probably just misplaced it.”

Rindou grinned, nodding, “I don’t even think he knew I saw him take it, fucker thought he was being sneaky.”

Your hand flew to your mouth, stifling the giggle that bubbled at your lips, remembering just how adamant that Mister Ayato had been about someone taking the magazine, and remembering how you told him he was being crazy about it over and over again when he insisted that he knew just where he left it.

“What about Australia? One of the tours of the outback would be cool,” Rindou asked suddenly after a pause in the conversation.

Ran scoffed, “No fucking way,” he said immediately. “Have you seen the shit that lives there? The snakes, the spiders. There are crocodiles down there, no fucking way.”

Rindou looked irritated, “It would be cool, I want to surf down there too-”

Ran laughed in Rindou’s face, “Oh, so you want to be fed to the sharks too? The spiders and snakes weren’t enough?”

“You’re an ass,” Rindou said.

“And you’re stupid,” Ran said. “You can have fun struggling for your life in Australia, I’ll be visiting Paris while you do that.”

“You’re boring,” Rindou accused. “You never want to do anything fun.”

Ran gaped, offended, “I’m boring?” he demanded. “For not wanting to go to Australia?”

“That’s what I said.”

Ran shot back another comment and you smothered the laugh at your lips, watching the two of them go back and forth, getting increasingly more heated with each jab. A light feeling settled over you, a smile pulling at your lips as you watched Rindou explode on Ran for being lame just like he would when you guys were younger and Ran would prefer to stay in and relax than go out with Rindou when he was bored.

But even as that light feeling grew, a laugh escaping your lips as Ran blanched at one Rindou’s comments, you couldn’t help the odd, foreboding feeling pulling at your gut.

T-MINUS FOUR DAYS.

You yawned as you pushed yourself into a sitting position, stretching and rubbing at your eyes, frowning when you realized that neither Ran nor Rindou were in bed with you. You wondered if you had slept in, but you knew damn well that wasn’t the case--it was four am, the alarm clock on the nightstand next to you shined bright in the dark. Rindou might get up this early to work out, but Ran should certainly be passed out in bed next to you still.

An eerie, unwelcome feeling stirred in your chest.

Did they leave?

No, you told yourself, you knew the thought was ridiculous. They wouldn’t leave, and if they had to go, they would have at least said something to you… right?

You couldn’t help the hesitancy that began to pool in your chest. You bit down on your bottom lip, suddenly very much awake and pushing yourself out of bed. You smoothed down your shirt and glanced around the dark room for just a second before shaking your head and making your way out of it. The hall was equally as dark, only lit up by the dim lighting from the windows of the moon outside.

You let out a weak breath, something felt really, really wrong and you couldn’t quite place what it was.

“... tragedy on Roppongi-dori Ave…”

The news. Your lips twisted down as you made your way down the hall faster, realizing that the two of them must be in the main room near the television. Tragedy on Roppongi-dori but-

“... gas pipe leak explosion-”

A sick feeling brewed in your stomach, vision swimming as you swallowed thickly, trying to force away the memories that were pushing to the forefront of your mind--the heat, the smoke, the screaming. The auction floor and the pavement of the Marienplatz in Munich.

“The TFD has been struggling to get into the building, no expected survivors…”

You stood at the entrance to the main room, lips parted, breath erratic--you felt as if you had just sprinted ten miles, not walked down the hall to the other room. Rindou and Ran were standing in front of the television--Ran’s phone was pressed to his ear and Rindou’s hands were trembling at his sides and you could barely bring yourself to look at the screen, scared of what you might see.

A view from a helicopter, a familiar building, fire and debris.

The penthouse was…

You heard a quiet call of your name, you couldn’t tell if it were Rindou or Ran, everything felt and sounded far away--too far away for you to hope to decipher.

… burning?

You really weren’t sure what exactly you were looking at, but your legs felt weak and your body was shaking and you swore you felt like you were going to pass out. The images on the television just weren’t processing and you couldn’t hear what the news reporter was saying anymore. Your heartbeat thudded painfully in your chest, blood roared in your ears. Everything felt hot and cold at the same time and it felt like someone was pricking a million pins into your body over and over again.

The penthouse was burning.

You weren’t sure when you hit the ground--or you supposed you didn’t, because one minute you were standing staring at the television and the next you were in Ran’s arms and the two of you were crumpled on the carpet. You weren’t sure when you started crying but your vision was unfocused and the massive fire on the television was blurred into shades of a sunset. You were sure that you couldn’t breathe--there was no air getting to your lungs, and your head felt light.

The penthouse was burning.

You could hear Ran’s voice but you could not make out what he was saying. Rindou hadn’t moved from where he was standing in front of the television, staring at it.

Miss Yua and Mister Ayato-

Ran tried to keep his voice relaxing, soothing, he was trying to calm you down but you could hear the waver as he spoke, trying to keep himself together for you and Rindou.

“They must have gotten out,” you tried to say but you could barely force the words out, you weren’t even sure if Ran could understand you, “They must’ve-my uncle, he wouldn’t have-”

He wouldn’t have let this happen, you wanted to say but your voice broke off, taking in a wet inhale, he wouldn’t have let this happen.

Ran’s arms were tight around you, trying to hold you in place, and you knew deep down you shouldn’t be making him strain like this, that it was only going to make his wounds worse but your brain just wasn’t processing correctly.

They must have gotten out, you wanted to scream, your uncle wouldn’t have let this happen if they were in there.

But logically, you knew that your uncle seemed to not be a part of Sugawara’s little inner circle anymore--if he was, he never would have let you go to the auction that night knowing Sugawara was planning an explosion, small or not--and you wondered if his fall from trust was your fault.

“I should have let you push,” Rindou’s voice sounded empty, he wouldn’t turn to look at you or Ran. “I was rushing us to get out of the building. I should have let you push when you told them that they should leave later too.”

Ran was shaking his head, “Rindou, stop. If you hadn’t pushed us, we would’ve died there. And you know damn well Miss Yua wasn’t going to leave the penthouse while Ayato was sick.”

“I should have let you push.”

Ran was talking again, voice rising as he tried to get through to Rindou, but his words sounded jumbled even as he got louder. Your head was spinning, your hearing felt like it was going in and out--anger and hatred overwhelmed the shock--anger at yourself, for not having forced them to leave the penthouse after you guys, anger at Rindou and Ran, because you were certain they had been trying to hide this from you and that’s why they didn’t wake you up, and hatred toward Sugawara, because you knew damn well this was no gas leak.

He was mocking you, mocking what happened in Munich all of those years ago, mocking the coverup, mocking your involvement, his involvement. He destroyed your home, and killed the man and woman who had raised you to make a point and you swore you had never felt this sort of intense, mind-numbing hatred before.

Your teeth ground together so hard as you tried to force back the scream that was bubbling at your lips that you swore they were going to break, nails digging so deep into your forearms that you were drawing blood. You could practically hear him laughing at you, mocking you, ringing in your ears over and over and over and over again.

“You thought you won, didn’t you?”

And the worst part was that you thought you did. You and Rindou and Ran were safe, out of Tokyo and waiting for things to calm down so you could get the fuck out of Japan and you should have known better.

Ran’s grip tightened around you, holding you close to his chest as your distress worsened. You thought he was talking to you again, but you couldn’t quite tell over the ringing in your ears, your thoughts screaming at you and placing the blame heavy on your shoulders--everyone you love dies, tragedy follows you, you should have known this would happen, you should have prepared for it.

You should have known better.

You should have fucking known better.

T-MINUS TWO DAYS.

They weren’t being honest with you. Cross-legged on the bed, you stared at your lap, trying to figure out what you should do. A part of you wondered if this was how they had felt all those years ago when you were pushing them away, how they had felt when you had first shown back up and wouldn’t tell them anything no matter how hard they tried to get answers from you. Another part of you was angry because you thought you were past this--you promised that you wouldn’t hide anything from them anymore, and you had thought that they would show you the same decency.

You supposed you shouldn’t have assumed--your uncle taught you better than to make assumptions, to even take words at face value. But this was Rindou and Ran, and you didn’t think to make sure because of that.

The final part of you wondered if they just couldn’t bring themselves to look at you, and your chest felt heavy. You’d barely seen much of Rindou at all since the night of the fire, despite living under the same roof, and Ran tried to talk to you but the conversations never lasted long.

You supposed it wasn’t their fault--you weren’t exactly making the best conversation either. Every time you tried to speak your tongue felt weighted and your throat felt swollen. You had never handled grief well, and evidently, neither did they.

Logically, you knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault but you felt alone, and every second you spent curled up in the room alone made the tears fall faster and the hole in your chest grow wider. You wanted to scream at Rindou to not leave you alone, and you wanted to apologize to Ran because you knew he was trying and you couldn’t bring yourself to match his attempts and you hated yourself for it.

Your gaze drifted up from your lap to train on your phone, laying in front of you on the bed. Your screen flickered on as you shifted and your throat felt tight when the familiar faces of you, Rindou and Ran stared back at you--younger, happier, more carefree.

You had stolen Mister Ayato’s camera that day--a risky endeavor considering the man kept it on him nearly all the time. It had turned into a big ordeal that had ended with all three of you getting grounded for nearly a month, to your absolute displeasure, but you believed it had been worth it.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you reached for your phone, unlocking it and clicking onto the photos app, scrolling right to the album where you kept all of the old photos that Mister Ayato had managed to save and send to you in the years after you had left Tokyo.

A heavy feeling settled in your chest as you clicked on the first picture, one that you had taken when the three of you were much younger. Biting down on your bottom lip, you tried to hide the smile as you remembered all the times you would hide around the penthouse, behind couches, in closets, sometimes you’d even camp out beneath their beds--you treated snapping pictures of them like it was a safari, and Ran hated it, the number of times he had thrown shoes and pillows at you when he had realized what you were doing were uncountable.

You were certain you had videos of it somewhere, you vividly remembered trying to take one while the two of them were trying to put together an old puzzle of Mister Ayato’s that they had found stuffed in the back of their closet. They hated puzzles, both of them would much rather spend their time doing other things, but Mister Ayato had made an offhand comment about how the two of them wouldn’t have been able to complete it anyway and the two of them had taken the comment rather personally.

They spent two whole days holed up in their room, trying to put together the puzzle where no one could see them having a hard time with it, and you spent half of one of those days camped out at their doorway, laying on the floor and videoing how awful they were doing because Mister Ayato wanted to see them struggling with it.

“It would be good entertainment,” he had said, handing you the camera that you usually stole from him and sending you off on your way.

Needless to say, Ran had spotted you after you started giggling at his threat to burn the entire puzzle when his frustration peaked. You, consequently, got a shoe to the face and had to sprint to the elevator to try to get away from him when you realized he was giving chase. Ran had always been the fastest of the three of you, but you had gotten lucky and the elevator had shut behind you before he managed to get in there with you.

Given, he still chased you halfway down Roppongi and he did, in fact, manage to catch up to you, but you had still counted it a win on your part, if only temporary.

Your tongue felt swollen as you scrolled to the next picture, eyes sliding shut. Your seventeenth birthday. Your uncle hadn’t shown up even though he had promised--business matters, he had claimed, and you had been bummed. More than bummed, really. He was supposed to have taken you out to your favorite restaurant--a high-end hibachi place in Shibuya--but had bailed at the very last second, leaving you all dressed up and ready to leave, waiting for his car outside of the building.

You had run back inside, of course, embarrassed and upset. Mister Ayato had tried to ask what was wrong but you had fled back to your room and locked the door. Even with the door locked, you could hear Miss Yua shouting at your uncle over the phone while Rindou and Ran lingered at your door, asking you to open up.

You had absolutely no intention of doing so until Miss Yua came to your door, still livid, demanding you to open up. Reluctantly, you had done as told and Miss Yua told you to stop crying--the four of you would be going out instead.

And although it wasn’t your uncle, you were certain you had had more fun that night with them than you ever would have had with your uncle. They had taken you to the very same restaurant that your uncle had been going to take you to, and Rindou and Ran had been way underdressed, and you had gotten a lot of side-eyes because of it but you had fun.

Especially when Shion, Mochi, Mucho and Izana had all shown up.

Your eyes felt glassy as you remembered how Miss Yua rolled her eyes when the four of them arrived--Shion loud as ever and making a scene, Mucho trying to shush him as they got looks from the other restaurant patrons and staff. You were fairly certain they had only shown up for the prospect of a free, nice meal considering they were still in their gang uniforms and Shion’s knuckles had been bloody but they had shown and it was more than you could say for your last remaining blood relative.

They had shown. Shion and Mochi. Mucho and Izana. Miss Yua and Mister Ayato. Ran and Rindou. They had always shown when you needed it most, even now after all these years, the ones that could show still did, even if it meant putting themselves at risk.

You shut your eyes, trying to push away the memories, all of the dark thoughts that began to circle. It wasn’t fair, you wanted to cry. Your parents and your sister. Izana. Mucho. Mister Botan.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

Miss Yua and Mister Ayato.

You pressed your hand to your mouth to muffle the sob you could feel rising to your throat. You didn’t know why you were crying, you were angry. Or you wanted to be at least, you wanted to be angry at Sugawara, you wanted to be angry at whatever god was up there laughing at you, you wanted to be angry at yourself--but guilt and loss consumed you so wholly that you couldn’t think straight, much less be angry.

Miss Yua and Mister Ayato.

Your nails dug into your cheeks as you rocked back and forth on the bed. You had just seen them. You had just seen them less than a week ago. You had said goodbye to Miss Yua before leaving and-

You took in a ragged breath, eyes wide and wild, you hadn’t said goodbye to Mister Ayato.

He had been sleeping, still ill from whatever fever he had, and Miss Yua said to let him rest.

You hadn’t said goodbye to Mister Ayato.

You couldn’t breathe.

This was all your fault, you wanted to scream, cry, but no tears would fall and you weren’t getting enough air in your lungs to take in a deep enough breath to scream. If you hadn’t come back to Tokyo, none of this would be happening.

If you hadn’t come back, Ran wouldn’t have been thrown off at the auction, so he wouldn’t have gotten separated from the others during the explosion and he wouldn’t have been captured. If Ran hadn’t been captured, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and you wouldn’t have had to bring him to Miss Yua and Mister Ayato to make sure he survived the night, and there wouldn’t have been a target on their back

This was all your fault.

The words rang in your head over and over and over again. The fire had been on the middle floor. Spread up rapidly. There had been no route of escape for them. They had been sitting ducks stuck in the penthouse waiting for the flames to consume them. You could feel the heat as if you were there--burning through your skin down to the bone, tearing through the flesh and muscle. You could taste the smoke, you could feel it clogging your windpipe and drowning your lungs.

You wondered if the smoke killed them before the fire, but if you knew Miss Yua and Mister Ayato half as well as you thought you did, you were fairly certain that both of them would have rather died at their own hands than succumb to a fate like that.

You choked over nothing, you felt as if the air around you was heavy, dirty. You couldn’t get air to your lungs, and you couldn’t call for Rindou or Ran. Anxiety was gripping at your chest and your phone was buzzing, it was buzzing nonstop but your blurry vision could barely make out the numbers of whoever was sending you a message. And the buzzing was loud, piercing, you couldn’t think straight and it wouldn’t stop. You felt like you were going crazy.

Gasping for air, clutching your chest, you clicked on the message, praying to god that it was Mina, or Takuya, or even Ran or Rindou--trying to convince yourself that maybe they had been too lazy to walk in here and wanted to know what you wanted for dinner.

You clicked on the message.

You realized too late that the number was unfamiliar, that it was not Mina or Takuya or Rindou or Ran, and instead you were met with a picture, one that your mind just couldn’t comprehend. You stared at your phone, chest heaving--you still couldn’t breathe, you could barely think, your vision was blurred but not enough to obscure the picture, the blood and the gore and the threat that accompanied it.

Is that…

A pair of arms grabbed you, pulling you into a familiar, firm chest while another hand grabbed at your phone, pulling it away from you.

“Hey,” Rindou murmured, lips near your ear as he held you close, trying to calm you down. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

But his words went in one ear out the other, you couldn’t bring yourself to calm down, you couldn’t breathe, you were inhaling nonexistent smoke, you were bathing in invisible flames, doused in ice water, you felt knives carving your skin down to the bone.

You could hear Ran frantically trying to talk to Rindou, who was more focused on trying to get you to settle down--meeting, Sanzu, Bonten, Mikey, no option. You stared ahead blankly, body trembling, your tongue felt swollen in your mouth, you couldn’t speak, and you couldn’t move. Rindou was tapping your cheeks, trying to get your attention, you couldn’t even bring yourself to focus on him.

… Shion and Mochi?

---

T-MINUS 0.

They were gone.

You sat in the safe house alone and numb. The air conditioning was cranked up too high but you couldn’t bring yourself to stand up and lower it, and you couldn’t force yourself to your feet to go put on some warmer clothes. You sat huddled in the living room in front of the dark television, staring ahead waiting for them to come back.

Your parents. Your sister. Izana. Mucho. Mister Botan. Miss Yua. Mister Ayato. Shion. Mochi.

The list kept growing. Their names rang on repeat in your head over and over and over again. A mantra of death you couldn’t escape. You wondered who would be next. Four dead in a matter of two days. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Anxiety clawed at your chest, nails scraping down your face and wrapping around your neck, preventing any air from reaching your lungs. Every second you were separated from Ran and Rindou had your skin crawling, like you were placed in a pit with a million ants, all moving around and on top of you.

Would they be next?

Your body shuddered, you inhaled sharply.

You couldn’t think that.

You needed them to come back. Rindou had said they’d try not to get too caught up at the meeting, that they wouldn’t have even gone if the situation didn’t demand it, but Ran had only shook his head, telling you that they couldn’t promise to be back soon--sometimes the meetings lasted hours.

It had already been two hours, and there was no sign of either of them coming back anytime soon. They had promised to call when they got the chance, but hadn’t yet, and you couldn’t help the way you stared at your phone, waiting uneasily for a call that might not come for a long time.

What if Sugawara pinpointed Bonten’s hideout?

What if they were caught on the way to the meeting?

What if they were caught on the way back?

Endless possibilities circulated through your head, each worse than the last--captured, tortured, dead. Captured, tortured, dead. Captured, tortured, dead.

Your breath was shaky. Your vision blurry. You felt weak, scared, angry.

God, you were fucking angry.

And then your phone was buzzing--ringing, a call.

You scrambled forward, fumbling with the phone and pressing accept before you even checked who it was.

“Ran?” you asked, “Rin?”

“Y/n, I need you to listen to me carefully.”

Your vision wobbled and tunneled onto the ground when you realized it was not Rindou or Ran on the opposite line, your head felt light.

“Uncle Ichirou?” you hated how your voice wavered, how your nerves made your fingers tremble so badly that you nearly dropped your phone. “Wh-”

You wanted to ask what he wanted but you were scared because you knew damn well he wasn’t going to be bringing you any good news. His tone was sharp, and firm, and cold, trying to keep your attention steady on him, and all of your fears were proven true as he spoke again--the entire world crashing around you in one fell blow.

“Kenji has Terano Minami and Yamamoto Takuya.”

wordcount: 6.5k

REBLOGS N FEEDBACK HIGHLY APPRECIATED

— pls do not nitpick tiny mistakes or whatever, i’d like feedback on plot/character development. i vm struggled to have this out on time i literally finished it 10 min before posting

#queue🔖#FUCKK 😭😭😭#not the other two people reader loves as well #HEUEHEUEHEU THAT WAS SOME WHIPLASH INDEED #from such happy moments until reality catches up again #🥹🥹 im delusional so im gonna think those two made it out #BUT SHION AND MOCHI 😭#tissues won't be enough #tokyo revengers x reader #haitani ran x reader x haitani rindou #haitani ran x reader #haitani rindou x reader #tw.violence

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