ever since i came to terms with being completely nonhuman, ive realized that i have to physically restrain myself from doing most things. like a dog howled this morning and i had to put a hand over my mouth to stop myself, i have to physically restrain myself from howling at the moon (cliche, i know, but i just need to do it.), im having more shifts, my brain gets all tingly and feral when i see an innocent little squirrel, i love going to parks cus my parents walk with me (i see it as going on a walk), i love having tight necklaces cus they feel like collars, i cant go 5 minutes without curling my fingers like paws, i love running away and having people chase me, my handler uses dog commands for me, like sit, heel, fetch, etc and im like YAYAYAYAY cus i am literally just a canine, theres no other way to describe it, im just a dog, that's it!! im not human at all, and since ive realized that, ive been so much more happy with my life, i love being me!! i have a necklace coming in with a bone shaped dog tag and a little red paw charm and like thats gna be my collar until my handler can get me one, and im so fucking excited bro what the hell my tail wags every single day because i love my life
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So I have this bit, right? It's been a while since I've done it, but if I bring it up with my friends, they can still easily understand or remember the joke.
It's called the Dan Rules. It's often comedically egotistical and vain and was made because out of our little group, it was a joke that I am (as an act) an eccetric (maybe enigmatic if I'm feeling fancy) person who does whatever the hell I want.
If people thought to question my behavior, it was often quickly followed with a "that's just Dan" from my friends and easily dismissed. Sure, some of my boldness was probably left over from my middle school years, where I felt I had to lean into my weirdness completely so people would see me more as a joke than a freak.
But then I found myself in a safe, accepting environment, one where the need to bite and snarl and run away never came. I waited a while for it to arrive for me to feel the need to play the part of the fool for my newfound companions entertainment. It shocked me when I was left with genuine love and compassion. I leaned out of self-deprecating humor and completely into the (very obviously joking and fake) role of an egotistical short and angry ruler. For fucks sake we still have the name of the group chat as "Dantopia". I still did the bit to entertain my friends, to keep them laughing at my antics. But this time, it was accompanied by my own laughter. I enjoyed a new sense of freedom it brought.
The Dan Rules came out of when we were messing around, and I'd lean into this foolish king role, and I would proclaim something insane or childish. A popular one was, "Dan is never wrong." Often followed by a warranted scoff.
But the second rule is a good one, I think, one that really shone through as a reminder that I am not now who I was before.
"I do what I want."
I hadn't had much freedom before I met my current group of friends. I was quiet and kept quiet at times. I felt muzzled and chained, and as if I was a dog because someone forced a collar around my throat and pulled me on a leash.
It wasn't only that I didn't have the choice of self-expression, though. I'd also seen what happened to people who gave too much into reckless. I grew up with the weight of their actions carried on my shoulders, and while I have always been bold in my identity and beliefs, I was quiet and still when presented the opportunities to escape from situations where people kicked me down for who I was. I feared what would happen if I left my old group. Ironically, this fear led me to be isolated.
I found myself almost completely alone in the pandemic, and my only saving grace was a new school with new people. New people who didn't tell me to shut up or that I was ugly or that I needed to stop acting like an animal or they'd treat me like one. Instead, I met friends who handled me gently and taught me it was okay to hug just as it's okay to bark, and they welcomed me. I felt at home. I felt as if I knew myself completely.
So, with the second rule, which I still follow to this day, I added a private note.
"I do what I want. Because I can trust myself to."
Know thyself
I can trust myself to bark or scowl or growl just as much as I can to love and kiss and hug. I can stay aware of what is and isn't good and how much or how little I can trust someone. I can be bold and loving all at once and welcome others with open arms and flashing fangs.
I am in complete control over myself, and even when I am doing something so I can see my friends laugh, I am also doing it because I can, and I do what I want.
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hello! i'm a polytherian and physical nonhuman, and i've yet to compile ALL of MY THERIOTYPES in one place;
so here's the masterpost :0}
i'll edit this as i see fit
CANINES
confirmed: grey wolf, vancouver coastal sea wolf, wolfdog (high content), island fox, black backed jackal, german shepherd, siberian husky, bernese mountain dog, border collie, alaskan malamute, and malawolf/wolfamute (low content)
questioning: spotted hyena, arctic wolf, fennec fox, australian shepherd, and dingo
FELINES
confirmed: mountain lion/cougar, canadian lynx, and japanese bobtail
questioning: snow leopard, margay, serval, andean mountain cat, pallas cat, and norwegian forest cat
OTHER
confirmed: cow elk, fallow deer, white-tailed deer, white cotton tail rabbit, and ring-tailed lemur
questioning: roe deer, chinese water deer, marsh deer, pygmy blocket, muntjac deer, kiwi bird, ostrich, common redpoll finch, and chinchilla
FICTIONAL KINS
jinx from arcane
vampire
werewolf
fenrir
crocotta
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