#raezinhell

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You have got to be fucking kidding me?! Wheel of Time got cancelled! I'm getting super fucking sick of falling in love with a series, just for it to be canceled and never finished! Quit making shows, if you have no intention of completing them! Fuck you Amazon! Netflix too, ruined so many shows for me!

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Ok no longer depressed starting NOW!

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Handmaid's Tale Episode Two: Spoiler Alert!

Ugh Nick turning dark side, is killing me! You stupid fuck! But June's mom saying "you fucked a Nazi and now you're running back to him!" Was fucking great! 😂

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The sky doing pretty things.

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This is the first winter in 16 years, that I haven't thought about suicide. That's a pretty fucking big win in my book!

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Playing Oblivion remastered. Get to level 10 and it got harder out of nowhere. Daedra taking my ass out, just by looking at me! My husband goes "What's your setting at?" Checks it. "Adept, well shit that makes sense! I forgot I upped it, when everything was dying in two hits." I cannot do Adept unless I am prepared, which I totally was not! No potions, no lockpicks, no money to buy any of those things! Also, my armor breaks as soon as anyone touches me! In Skyrim I'm about ready for legendary, Oblivion not so much, I'm new to this! Take pity on me! We're learning over here. I feel pathetic on apprentice, but I need to learn the game first. Meanwhile, he's over here on legendary, fully fitted out, and has 90,000 gold just chilling!

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Well, they finally put Yellowjackets on Netflix. So of course I binged it all day yesterday. But now I can't watch season 2 until they put it on there, unless I buy it. It was so good!

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It really is the little things. When surviving depression. You HAVE to hold onto, and appreciate the little things! They become bigger things. They give you a foothold. And that is literally all you need, that single foothold. I'm not saying I'm cured or a 100% better but, it feels like victory. Like a pretty big fucking victory! I can breathe and not feel guilty for it. I can look forward, instead of back. Even though it took, what felt like a century. There is light at the end of the tunnel. It's still there alive, even if it's only a flicker. The little flicker, is all you need. Everything changes, constantly. Things will lift, the air gets lighter. You CAN breathe again. Let me be your light.

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You want to know how the world is fucked up? My friend asked me "did you hear about the black guy that got shot by the cop?" I said, "Which one?" She said, "the one that happened here." I said "Again which one?! It's happened multiple times in the last few years, here!" She said, "Well shit, I didn't know that!" Yeah dude, it's un-fucking-believable! The girl at the recent trial, that was from my previous high school, said to the police "We're supposed to trust you, and feel safe! I don't! I don't trust a single one of you!" She is right!

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Right after saying I don't see faces in my dreams, I just know who people are supposed to be. Now I'm having very vivid dreams and I see everyone's faces! I guess it's not totally true, that I don't usually see them, when they're lucid I definitely do.

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I get goose bumps every time I hear Numb by Linkin Park, every single time!

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My funny cute little finds while housekeeping.

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Watching White Lotus season 3 and I freaking LOVE Chelsea! She's adorable! What a little sweetheart! And I already saw a spoiler for the end, so I'm already sad but still!

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So it's infected, and they have no idea why. So they decided they want to pull it. He said all he can think of is it's cracked somewhere in the gums where he can't see. He tried pulling on it to see if it was loose but nope. So now I have to decide if I want an implant or just hold on to the flipper they're building me. I don't want an implant of a single tooth if they're going to do an implant, I want them all done! Please give me fake teeth so I never have to feel this again! Ughhhh

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I was just thinking about all the times I've gone out with girls. And how I've gotten more free drinks from bartenders, than anyone else in my life! They see me, then look at the girls, and say "you're clearly not drunk enough for this! Here's one on me!" I always tip the hell outta them too! Like thank you, for saving me!

I loved the lady who bartended for us both nights, we were at the casino. She was a pure gem! We filled out customer reviews for her, like 50 of them! We stayed at her bar station for most of the night. She made us her favorite drinks and her favorite ones to make. They were so good! I wish I could remember what they were.

We asked her stories about working at the casino, and what her top five moments were. She said the four of us, were definitely in the top five now! We were a mess for sure! Had to be escorted out of the casino the first night. I was totally fine but had to walk with one girl in a wheel chair, cuz she refused to take off her heels. The other two, as soon as they heard we had to leave, straight booked it out of the casino and were running around the parking lot.

It was memorable for sure!

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Finished The Final Shape in Destiny 2. Yes, I cried! Spoiler alert: Cayde was already dead, then you go and kill him again! I cried AGAIN!

Our friend Eric: "I don't really know what really happened before because I just started. So, I'm not really affected by this?"

Me: "It's fucking Cayde! The man saved our life with a chicken! You don't even know!"

The last mission, fighting the witness, was by far the coolest shit I've ever done in a video game, like ever!