#rancid ass rizz

[thegreatgremlingang]

Jin Guangyao, swiping a credit card on Lan Xichen's bootycrack: Hello Fine Sir May I Purchase Some Gyat

Nie Mingjue: YOUR CARD HAS BEEN DECLINED FBI OPEN UP

*lan xichen.exe has stopped working*

[homophobicranch]

why does every single male coworker feel the need to make it obvious they wanna get in my pants

[heartfullofleeches]

So then. How does Baron react when he finds out Alasdair pulled his mom AND his bitch

Man's got GODLIKE rizz

[excessive vulgar language]

The living room is staged like an intervention. You and Maddox sit on the couch while Baron stares down Alasdair from across the room. The line in the carpet drawn by Maddox was the only thing stopping him from tearing out the angel's throat. He was one thing to find out he was part angel. It was another to have an angel fall for his mate. That same angel allegedly sleeping with his mother before lightbulbs existed was the final draw.

Alasdair clears his throat. "Baron, we can talk about this like civilized people.."

"I'd tell you to blow me, bitch, but you'd probably like that you sick fuck. I knew I should've whooped your ass the second you came into my home and tried to steal my mate. What's wrong with you? You just want to fuck up my life, that it - huh? On your creator's rancid corpse if Y/n and Mad weren't right there I would beat you to a fucking pulp."

You glance at Maddox. "God's dead?"

They don't look up from their notepad. "Please don't worry about it for my sake. I'm under enough stress with what the death of an angel may cause, and I'd like to draw you without any trouble."

"In my defense I did not know she was your mother. Christ sake, it was ages before your parents even met. Calm down."

"The one way I'll calm down is if you give up your rights as their guardian and let me and Maddox care for them. I can deal with him, I don't think they even have a dick."

Maddox opens their mouth, but closes it just as quick.

Alasdair groans. "You're being ridiculous, Baron."

"You're the ridiculous one, motherfucker!-"

Baron's shout is met with utter silence. Oblivious to his blunder; you force your laughter down with a cough. Maddox, on the other hand, let's it slip with a quiet snort as they finally look up.

Baron's eyes flash red as he lunges at Alasdair. "I'll fucking kill you!"

[thegreatgremlingang]

jin guangyao, mewing aggressively: Hey. You may be trash, but I'm the garbage man.

lan xichen: *trips and collapses out of shock and confusion* *stares up from the floor in greater confusion as he slowly processes the rizz*

nie mingjue not understanding the joke and rolling up his sleeves to beat the everliving shit from jin guangyao for insulting zewu-jun