#raspntmonth20

[raspberryfanfics]

NTmonth Day 3—Myths and Legends.

I was inspired by a Zutara fanart to make this. 

The tale of Chang’e and Hou Yi went that Hou Yi was a skilled archer who shot down nine suns as the world was burning under the heat of ten. A goddess gave him a vial filled with an elixir of immortality, as thanks for his good deed. Yet there was only enough elixir for one person to drink and he did not want to leave his wife Chang’e.

Hou Yi hid the vial and when he was away, one of his students had plans to steal the elixir. Chang’e knew she could not defeat the student so she drank the elixir herself, rising to the moon, becoming a goddess. 

Hou Yi missed his wife and every year would make her favourite treats in memory of her. The time the moon was the largest and fullest was when Chang’e would try and greet her husband and in honor of the tale, the moon festival is celebrated with mooncakes.

There are several variations of this story but this one is probably the happiest. 

[raspberryfanfics]

NTmonth Day 6—Loss

wow looky here, another au where neji died

tomorrow will be better i promise

[raspberryfanfics]

don’t feel like doing the bartender au so here’s some nt doodles

[raspberryfanfics]

Tell me a Sad Word—NTmonth Day 5

Day 5 - Desiderium (Latin): An ardent desire or longing; especially a feeling of loss or grief for something lost. 

Ask Hinata Hyuga to tell you a sad word, she’ll say “supposed”. Makes sense for her to say that. She did all the things she was supposed to do. She became strong. She became happy. She has everything she has ever wanted. Something wonderful was supposed to happen. Two people were in love and were supposed to have a happy ending. They were supposed to be together. In the end, everything that was supposed to happen didn’t, and that makes a very sad story and makes “supposed” a very sad word.

Ask Naruto Uzumaki to tell you a sad word, he’ll say “can’t”. Makes sense for him to say that. He has always believed in the impossible. He did what they said he couldn’t. He has proved every can’t as can. They can’t have that wonder. Two people were in love and now they can’t have their deserved ending. They can’t be together. Once they could, now they can’t, and that makes a very sad story and makes “can’t” a very sad word.

Ask Sakura Haruno to tell you a sad word, she’ll say “gone”. Makes sense for her to say that. She is a doctor. She tries to save people and most of the time she can say that they will stay. But she will always have to tell people that their loved ones are gone. The wonderful things are gone. Two people were in love but one is now gone. Their dreams of being together are gone. The things they dreamed of are gone, and that makes a very sad story and makes “gone” a very sad word.

Ask Maito Gai to tell you a sad word, he’ll say “almost”. Makes sense for him to say that. He always works hard to reach his goals and most of his efforts pay off. They do. He has always done the impossible rather than almost done. They almost had a wonderful thing. Two people were in love and almost made it. The dreams they had of being together were almost fulfilled. They almost had it all and that makes a very sad story and makes “almost” a very sad word.

Ask Lee to tell you a sad word, he’ll say “tried”. Makes sense for him to say that. He always tries his best in everything. He gives a hundred percent. But if Lee tried, then it is in the past tense, and it means that he has given up They tried for something wonderful. Two people were in love and tried to build a happy ending. The dreams they had tried to fulfill never were. They tried and tried but no matter, they will never be together anymore and that makes a very sad story and makes “tried” a very sad word.

Ask Tenten to tell you a sad word, she’ll say loved. Makes sense for her to say that. She fell in love with a boy and he returned her feelings. But he died. So she no longer could say love and had to say loved because those feelings of love are now in the past. They loved each other and it felt wonderful. The boy she loved was dead so she couldn’t build that happy ending. They loved to dream about their future but that was crushed. He loved her as much as she loved him but it’s not like their love matters anymore and that makes a very sad story and makes “loved” a very sad word.

[raspberryfanfics]

NTMONTH DAY IDK SO HERE’S SOME ANGST

if you’re gonna kill of neji kill him right ;)

[raspberryfanfics]

NTmonth Day 7—Relaspe

This is a scene I redrew from the medical drama “New Amsterdam” with Tenten as Dr. Lauren Bloom, the head of trauma surgery and Neji as Dr. Zach Ligon, a physiotherapist.

Lauren had just gotten back from rehab from her addiction to adderall but ended up in a severe accident so she attended physical therapy, a painful process she had to do without any painkillers. She and Zach hookup, a way for her to manage the pain and “increase her mobility”. Though she was ashamed of sleeping with him, some of it ceased when she attended and AA meeting and Zach was there, learning he that he was a recovering addict as well.

Yet Lauren needed a second surgery on her injured leg and this time the pain would be too much to bear without painkillers. Worried that she would relapse, she enlisted Zach’s help because she knew he would be able to recognise the tricks an addict would use to get drugs. After the surgery, he tells her when she can take a pain med at 12:00 but after she resists until that time, the pill is gone.

She tells Zach about the missing pill and mulls over her pain until she wonders if he had took her pill. When she asks, he tells her that addicts do two things: to lie, and to blame others for their mistakes. She had done both. Not even knowing what to believe herself, Lauren is terribly confused.

Yet after performing surgery during a hospital lockdown in a patient room, with her injured leg, Zach tells her she’s a good person and confesses of taking the pill(s). Lauren him gives him one final kiss and tells him never to see her again, not even blaming him for it. It proves of her development as a person and an addict, knowing that trusting him to manage her prescription was a bad idea

To be honest, I have doubts that Zach will return to New Amsterdam, but it was a beautiful scene that I had to redraw as Tenten and Neji.

[raspberryfanfics]

Black Coffee—NTmonth Day 1

Day 1 - Your favorite trope! (Example: And they were roommates!)

I wrote a bad coffee shop au and forgot to queue it, which happened to be a blessing because as I was drinking a mug of black coffee, looking out my camper, this idea came to me and I wrote it in less than two hours on the ride back home. Sorry, it's late. Probably should have started NT month with more fluff but still. So happy Nejiten Month guys.

On FFn

—

Black coffee.

Tenten stared at the white mug, how the beverage left remnants of a dark stain on the sides. She raised it to her lips, careful not to spill it over her textbooks.

She winced the moment the bitterness filled her mouth. The strong flavours soon subsided and it was easier to consume without thinking of it. To be honest, why people enjoy black coffee would always remain a mystery to her. because she only swallowed it. Like water or medicine, she didn't know. All she knew was when she finished the cup, she couldn't feel the bitterness.

Of the coffee, at least.

Tenten could feel everything else.

She used to drink pumpkin spice lattes and peppermint mochas rather than this shit. Her regular coffee orders were unpredictable. She liked to try everything, she was wild, she was adventurous.

Yet now, all he ever got was black coffee. The barista even noticed. She frowned as she poured yet another from the brew rather than made from scratch. The barista noticed everything, actually.

"I assumed the black coffee was for him," she admitted to Tenten.

"They were," she said softly. "He only drank black coffee."

Keep reading on FFn

It all started last year around this time. Tenten had chosen a seat at the barstools overlooking a large window. She could see the people walking by, some rushed, some not. There were three stools at the counter. The left was taken by a man with long ebony hair, the middle by his textbooks, the right empty. She took a seat and asked if she could put her own books with his and she met his eyes, pale lilac ones that were too beautiful to be real.

Yet he nodded and she noticed that in his cup was black coffee, also noticed that he glanced at whatever she was drinking, seeming confused.

"It's a maple cinnamon cappuccino," she explained.

At around the same time every day from then on, she'd meet him there, the same place, the same spot. She'd always see a black coffee, he'd always wait for her to tell him what she ordered.

One day, she arrived earlier than him and on impulse, bought him his black coffee, setting it at his spot with a post-it note explaining it was for him. When he came, the shock was evident on his face, even a hint of a blush on his snowy skin. Tenten beamed for hours.

The following day, she saw a mug where she usually sat and a beautiful leaf was on the drink.

"A latte," he said.

Tenten turned redder than a beet.

And from then on, whoever got there first usually would buy the other coffee. Usually, it was him.

There was one point in time where Tenten arrived to a very interesting leaf on her latte.

"There's a new barista," he explained.

So he and Tenten ordered the drinks that the barista needed to practice making and had fun trying even stranger things.

They also started to talk. Even though they only ever met at the shop, she enjoyed it. He made her laugh and made her comfortable. She learned a lot about him. His name was Neji. He had a strict family. He was a fourth-year like her. He wanted to be a lawyer.

But one day, he looked at her, regret in his soft eyes, and told her that he got into law school at Cambridge, he'd be leaving next year. And she was happy for him, really. Yet the only piece of him she had left of him was the black coffee he drank. The only reason she ordered it was that it reminded her of him and how she never made a move on him. She let him go completely, without even his number.

"You're in love, the barista told her.

Tenten wanted to laugh. Because she didn't know what he was like outside of the coffee shop. She only knew of him, THe man he told her she was. How could she have fallen for him like that?

Yet a whole school year was more than enough time to develop such feelings and shit, maybe she was in love with Neji and he was the one that got away.

Only love would put her in a state that even though she stopped going to parties and hanging out with friends, studying nonstop and never sleeping, her grades dropped like she drained the bitter coffee. Tenten was thinking of just quitting that year and travelling so she could just get over him. She had to get over someone she would never see again. Never.

Or at least she thought.

Suddenly, everywhere she went, she'd see a glimpse of him. Tenten turned a corner and she'd see lilac eyes and right away, would turn back so she didn't grab a random person. She'd look out her car and see ebony hair and the traffic would honk at her because she was too busy trying to see it again. She walked into the library and smelled sandalwood and espresso but she whipped around and no one was there but the people in her mechanics class.

Tenten really thought she was losing it.

One day, she sat at her spot with a black coffee and swore she heard his footsteps walking into the shop. She had to clutch onto her laptop because now, she really was crazy and was definitely hallucinating. She knew it would be another guy if she turned around. Yet the footsteps got louder and louder as if he was approaching her and Tenten couldn't take it anymore. She turned around, about to leave but she was face to face with lilac eyes and ebony hair and smelled sandalwood and steamed milk and espresso. There were no more footsteps.

She blinked.

Once.

Twice.

Twenty-six.

But he was still there.

Tenten nearly passed out.

She pinched herself.

It had to be another dream, but her dreams never imagined him skinnier like he hadn't been eating like how she hadn't been eating and her dreams never imagined the arm holding a mug trembling so much that the perfect leaf the barista had finally learned to do was now being ruined. Fuck, he looked at her the way she thought she looked at him and that had to be the best indication that her imagination simply wasn't good enough to think of this.

"Do you drink lattes, now?" was all she could muster because she wondered if Neji loved her like she loved him and drank her wild coffee preference to remember her.

And he nodded.

Neji fucking nodded and he took a seat by her side, this time the middle seat rather than the left, pushing the books to the side. He set down the mug, looked at her coffee, then at her. Instantly, they switched their mugs around and she finally had a taste of something smooth and creamy suited to her tastes.

"What are you doing here?" she breathed.

"I missed you," he said.

He kissed her right there and then, in the usual seat of their usual coffee shop. His fingers brushed her jaw, coffee tasting better when they were on his lips.

Every other regular who had remembered seeing them last year smiled, ignoring the confused stares from the people who didn't understand the meaning of this shop. The barista spilled her drink all over the floor.

"About fucking time!"

Her manager did not care. She too was glad that the two students who fell in love over a mug, or four hundred mugs of coffee, had finally found their way back to each other.

[raspberryfanfics]

Gentle Intimacy—NTmonth Day 4

Day 4 - Retrograde

ON FFN

if you want to enjoy this, do read the times. —raspberry.

this fic was inspired by @zealousheart, who gave me the idea of Retrograde as writing a fic backwards.

—

present time...

—

"Tenten, I—"

"Don't say it,"

"But—"

"Dammit, Neji! Don't say it! Don't say it now! Don't break me again. You're not going to break me when we're going to die. You don't get to say it. You don't get to be selfish. I want you to die and know you never told me because I can't die like this. I can't die knowing all the stupid shit you put me through was for nothing because you could have loved me then, you could have loved me a week ago, you could have loved me yesterday, but you are not going to love me seconds before I—"

"Tenten—are you—no—no, no, no, this can't happen—TENTEN!"

—

one day ago…

—

The words were at the tip of his tongue.

I love you.

It would be a nice moment to say it. The skies were clear. The birds were singing. Her eyes were closed, letting the exhaustion sink in. They hadn't sparred like this since—since the incident. But it would likely be their last.

War was on the horizon. The attack was tomorrow. He had spent weeks preparing but he didn't feel truly prepared. Not when she wasn't going to be by his side.

Then again, the fault was his.

He drove her away.

Tenten hadn't been by his side for weeks.

The only reason they sparred today, the only reason he could think of, was because no matter how strained their relationship was, they'd still be teammates. They would still be Neji and Tenten. They'd regret it if they didn't and someone died tomorrow.

"Tenten?"

Her name came out as a breath. It was his only breath before the air in his lungs seemed to be permanently knocked out of his body. Neji hadn't ever felt so scared. He didn't deserve to tell her. He didn't deserve to tell her at all. Not when he hurt her like that, insisted it ruthlessly. He didn't get to fall in love with her. Not after the incident.

She turned her head towards him, her brown hair loose on the grass. He felt his stomach flutter. She looked beautiful like that. Was she beautiful because he loved her or did he love her because she was beautiful? Yet her eyes were duller than before, tired, older, sadder. He could barely recognize her as such. He did that to her.

"Yea?" her voice was dull too.

Neji turned his head away. "You've improved."

He heard the rustle of her sitting up. "I know."

—

two days ago…

—

She was stronger than this.

Tenten was stronger than waiting around, sulking, hoping for him to give her a chance. She was above crying herself to sleep for countless nights and wondering why. It didn't matter. It shouldn't matter. A guy wasn't going to define her. A guy wasn't going to hold her back.

Yet still, every time she thought about him, a crushing weight would drop to her shoulders and she wanted to crawl in a hole. She could barely breathe. Her vision would go blurry. Damn him. Damn love. Damn not being able to let him go. Damn needing him so much that she couldn't beat him up. Damn not letting Lee hurt him.

Why couldn't he love her?

Tenten screamed and threw a kitchen knife towards the door. Watching it dig into the door was satisfying. She took out a bread knife, did the same. Each knife in the drawer disappeared and dug into the wall until there was one blade left, a tiny paring knife.

She stared at it, realizing that she had lost her mind so easily, the proof being the neatly lined blades stuck into her door. If she let this knife stay, at least she had some self-restraint. As if love ever had restraint. Tenten threw the paring knife to the door with so much force that it would easily cut through the wood.

Suddenly it opened.

A part of Neji's long bangs were chopped off, nearly cutting his ear. His eyes were wide, having just dodged it.

"What is it!" she hissed.

He blinked a few times, then relaxed a little. "I was just wondering if you'd like to spar tomorrow, being that the war is coming."

They hadn't sparred in ages, she realized nostalgically. She wanted to refuse. Her heart couldn't take it. To be honest, she'd likely burst out crying in the middle of it. That would be humiliating.

But something in his eyes, a tinge of regret, made her nod. They may never spar again. She wasn't going to be prideful enough not to acknowledge that. "Five?"

The unspoken words of as usual hung in the air.

"Five it is." Neji glanced at the door, examined the blades, then left the room without another comment. How could he go so easily?

Tenten burst into tears again and buried her face into her hands. How did she ever end up so hopeless?

—

seven days ago…

—

"She insisted,"

Neji turned his head to look at Lee. The whole mission, he had been more quiet than usual. Fewer rants about youth, less energy. But then again, everything had been strained since the incident.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Tenten insisted that I didn't beat you up," Lee said.

Neji looked down, shameful. Somehow, even filled with spite, she was a better person than he was.

"I would have. I really would have." his teammate growled. "I wasn't going to listen. I was going to tear you apart and it would have nothing to do with our rivalry. The only reason I didn't was that she insisted. And I know that if I did, she would still be there to dress your wounds and wrap your bandages."

He bit his lip, knowing it was true. Tenten couldn't hate him. It would be easier if she could.

"She still loves you, just as much as she did. I don't understand it, not the slightest. But you can still hurt her. And I swear, Neji if you hurt her again—"

"I won't," he said softly. "And if I do, I won't fight back when you punch me."

That was when she came back, carrying firewood. "How's dinner coming along?"

"We're almost done," Lee smiled.

Sometimes, Neji felt like beating himself up.

—

ten days ago…

—

Someone was at her door. Again. She really didn't have time for this. Her immune system wasn't that perfect. Even if she was faking illness, couldn't they give her the benefit of the doubt?

Like Neji had.

She wanted him to notice. He believed it with a single glance at her. Tenten told him she was sick and he nodded, leaving without a second word. He left so easily.

"Come on, Tenten, I know you're not sick. I just want to talk."

It was Lee's voice. She didn't respond. "If you don't open the door...I'm going to break it down."

Still, she did not say a word.

"Tenten, I'm kicking the door down in three, two, one…"

"The door's unlocked!" she shouted, anger seeping into the entire apartment building.

Everything was silent for a moment. Lee slowly entered her apartment and into her room. He crawled in bed next to her, taking in her appearance.

"No wonder Neji believed you were sick. You look like you had all the youth sucked out of you."

Tenten shot her teammate a glare. "Maybe because I am sick."

"Yes, but even sick you'd go to training. So why?"

She sniffed, rolling onto her side. Everything was here again. She could feel, and that was the worst part. "I can't face him."

"Neji?"

"It's exhaustion. Loving him is exhausting. Hating him is exhausting. I'm exhausted, Lee. I'm so, fucking, exhausted that I can't even cry."

"You sure you don't want me to punch him?"

"I want to say yes. I really do, but don't. It doesn't change anything. I—just need to be alone, Lee."

"He doesn't deserve you."

"I supposed he thinks so too. How could Neji fucking Hyuga deserve someone as little and unimportant as me?"

—

eleven days ago…

—

"Fuck,"

Neji watched as Tenten barely missed Lee's kick, being skimmed by a punch. The two were pretty evenly matched against each other but she had endured a few more hits than usual.

"Great job, Tenten, Lee, you are brimming with your usual youth!"

He hadn't sparred with her for a while. Only would fight her if Gai said so. He missed her. He really did. And Neji regretted everything he had said and every way he hurt her. Nothing was the same. She refused to train with him alone. He didn't blame her.

Yet his pride was too strong for him to apologize. Why couldn't she understand why he did it? Couldn't she see that he was dying too?

"Your defences are weak," he stated. The small smile at her sensei started to fade the moment she heard his voice. It broke him, just a little, every time something like this happened.

"I know," she said coldly. "Sometimes I don't expect certain attacks. You would know, right, Neji?"

Lee and Gai watched with dismay. It had gone on like this for a while. They knew enough of what had happened. What could they do? They worked together fine. They were still professional. Both knew that the problem was much too delicate to touch. The retorts were about more than just training.

"Not everyone can block any hit coming as you do, Neji."

Did she know that sometimes, if he lowered his defence too early or late, she would land a hit on him too?

—

thirteen days ago…

—

She could hear him from miles away. Tenten gulped with each passing step. He approached her as she skipped rocks, watching as they hopped further and further away until they were so small she could no longer see them. He was behind her, breathing down her neck.

Tenten bit her lip and inhaled, trying to steady her breathing. He knew he affected her. Yet she wouldn't allow him the satisfaction of it. Yet surely, he noticed how tense she was. Nothing escaped those eyes, after all.

"I preferred training when it was just you and me," his voice was gentle, the voice he seemed to reserve for her. She wanted to cry and melt and punch him, but none of those things happened. She was just so confused.

"Lee and Gai-sensei are better than you give credit for."

"Yes," he admitted. "But they are not the only ones I fail to give enough credit to."

His lips brushed the shell of her ear to the side of her neck. Tenten slowly tilted her head back, sighing. She was strong enough to push him away but chose to take this gesture one last time.

"I'm trying to do what you asked of me, Neji. You make it very difficult."

"I never asked you to do anything."

"You and I both know that's not true," because what he had made clear to her was more of a demand.

"Tenten…" as if he forgot how to use words. Like he remembered how easily she'd melt into him every other time.

"I can't change how I feel. If I could, I would. I'm making more sacrifices than you are But you make it hard. I'm trying, Neji. I'm really trying for what you want."

His body pulled away from her. "I don't know what I want anymore."

Me.

Want me.

"Then tell me when you know."

—

sixteen days ago…

—

"Neji, Tenten, why don't you two practice your combination jutsus?"

Neji wasn't going to object. He wasn't going to object to anything their sensei asked them to do. Because at the end of the day, no matter if their rank was the same, Gai would always be their superior.

"I'd prefer not to, Gai-sensei," Tenten replied. It came so easily to her to say that. Had she been over it already?

"Will you spar then?"

She shrugged. Neji knew only to comply.

Lee and Gai watched as they readied their positions. He activated his Byakurgan. Tenten held out a small scroll in front of her.

He stepped to the side. She repeated his motion, They circled each other until she gave the slightest twitch of her finger.

The scroll twirled around, unravelled, and weapons shot through what seemed to be thin air. He deflected all of them and the real fighting began.

It felt normal.

Tenten didn't hold back nor give it all.

How could she seem so fine already?

Neji felt anger and hurt hit him with force. He started attacking at a quicker pace. She accommodated. It was until the point where he continued to fight and he sealed all of her tenketsu. She could barely move a muscle.

And that was when her guard broke.

He could see her eyes getting glassy. "Were you fucking trying to kill me?"

Because he never dared to seal all of her tenketsu. He had only sealed three or four before.

"I—"

He unsealed them quickly but she didn't bother to move. She stared up at the sky, looking lost. Neji was wrong. She wasn't fine. She was just damn good at pretending she was. So once again, he had hurt her.

"When will you have enough, Neji?"

—

twenty days ago…

—

She didn't like this very much, to be honest.

Gai and Lee wouldn't admit it either, but even they preferred the old training routine. Tenten could only stick with it.

Maybe it wasn't the training itself. It was the environment. Their whole team knew that this constant group training was not because they chose to, but because of Neji and Tenten's strained relationship.

She was like, afraid of him now.

It was hard not to be.

She feared everything, how powerful he was, how beautiful he was, how much control he had over her. He would so easily hurt her. He had hurt her. And when he was angry, especially at her, she was terrified. But then it hurt her some more.

Tenten knew that she really wasn't afraid of Neji, just afraid of being emotionally hurt, and he was the only one able to do that.

With a sharp glance, she saw that the purple bruise on his cheek, the one she gave him, was starting to fade just a little.

Sometimes, she wanted to hurt him in a way that wasn't physical. The way he had with her.

—

twenty-two days ago…

—

"Why?"

Neji had pulled Tenten aside, in an alleyway. No one batted an eye. One, because residents didn't care about men and women alone in alleyways in the worst way possible, and two, Neji and Tenten alone together was hardly something to be concerned about.

At least they thought.

She had just returned training with Gai while Lee and he were alone, sparring. He never sparred with Lee. It was intense, filled with strange words, and their rivalry had been pretty dangerous. Tenten always ate lunch at the dumpling place so it was easy to find her.

"Why what?" she replied, though he knew she understood him.

"Why would you stop training the way we used to?"

"You know why."

"I don't," he said insistently. Or he just wanted confirmation. A part of him didn't want it to be true.

Tenten tried to jerk herself away from him. Yet he held his ground, now pinning her to the wall, almost threateningly. He glared at her, an attempt to draw a response. Glaring usually worked on her, she usually always gave him an answer he wanted.

He got an answer, alright.

"You do!" she suddenly shouted. "You know that I can't function properly when we're alone and that half of the time is spent wanting to beat you to a pulp and the other half is spent wanting you! But you don't want me other than my body! Why the fuck do you care, Hyuga? Because you think it's my fault. I think it's your fault. You made me want you! You were the one who hurt me! You were the one who made me like this. Because all the time, all the fucking time, I feel dead inside. I am so dead inside and you're asking why I don't want to feel dead inside? It's your fault! It's your fucking—"

He didn't know what else to do other than to kiss her.

To be honest, Neji didn't know an awful lot about anything other than the shinobi world other than kissing her.

Her words had stabbed him in the gut. He deserved them. She stabbed him over and over and told him why she stabbed him and made his insides crawl with guilt. Neji couldn't handle it anymore. He was selfish so he kissed her, an attempt to make the pain stop.

It worked for only a moment.

She gasped and pressed against him. Her body was the only familiar thing he knew. Maybe that was why he grew so attached. Her lips were warm and like a small home. Maybe that was why he was still attached. Yet she had realized what he was doing.

Neji could only imagine how bad it seemed.

That he was only kissing her to shut her up. That he didn't give a shit about her space. That he didn't care about her, only her body, like she feared.

Tenten kneed him in the groin and punched him square in the jaw. He fell to the ground and blacked out for four seconds. She was gone by the time he regained consciousness.

—

twenty-three days ago…

—

He did it again.

Tenten couldn't understand how easily he could make her feel like shit.

Unintentional or not, it worked. The moment he looked her in the eye, her heart dropped.

"Your accuracy is off," he took note. It was a harmless one. A comment he would have made yesterday and would make tomorrow.

Tenten wished that if she explained that her eyes were a little blurry because she had been crying all night, she wouldn't seem weak.

"I'm not always perfect."

"Your accuracy always is,"

She glanced at him, feeling dead. He stared straight ahead. Neji knew she was watching him, he always knew, but didn't do much to say something. He didn't care, never did.

"Go again," he said, standing up.

"Neji, I'm tired," she said softly.

"You're never too tired to spar again."

"But—" she didn't really know what to say. He was right. But still, he was wrong. She was only too mentally exhausted to spar.

Tenten reluctantly stood, locking eyes, trying to anticipate his next move but she was distracted, trying to find an ounce of emotion in them. She was desperate. She didn't want to believe that her attachment to him was completely and utterly hopeless, like a five-year-old in love with their babysitter.

He had already attacked. Tenten defended, but not well enough. It had only been a few minutes until she was pinned to the ground again. Neither were panting.

Neji looked pissed as he shook off her, gathering his stuff, leaving without a glance back. She didn't blame him. She hadn't tried her hardest, she had made things difficult.

They probably shouldn't be training together anymore.

—

twenty-seven days ago…

—

Maybe he did love her.

A plate came crashing to the ground, shattering to a million different pieces.

How could a realization come to him so suddenly?

Hinata, Hanabi, and Hiashi looked at him. He apologized, taking the broken pieces in his hand and dumping them in the garbage. Clearly, they weren't convinced that he was fine but knew better not to say anything. They had noticed his strange silence since the incident, knew something was off, but also knew not to press.

Maybe he was trying to convince himself he loved her, it would make sense, but he was not the type to do so. It was more likely for him to try and think that there was nothing at all. So had he been trying to convince himself that he didn't love her all this time and had tied himself into this mess?

Neji hadn't been able to sleep.

He told himself it was guilt. Because she was his comrade and he was supposed to protect her, not hurt her. Yet he would turn around in his bed and he expected to be able to wrap his arm around her muscular waist, then be filled with an unfortunately deep sense of regret and longing.

It hadn't been just the bed.

He expected vanilla in his shower. Fried rice in the corner of his desk. A scream of his name randomly. A surprise slam of his door.

Tenten had unknowingly fit herself into his life and he was so used to how it was that he didn't know anything else.

He missed her lips, soft and welcoming. She made him feel safe, now she made him feel dangerous.

Neji had fallen in love with Tenten, but he hadn't known until he pushed her away himself.

—

thirty-one days ago...

—

"I look like shit,"

"You do."

At least Ino was honest. Tenten appreciated that. And she preferred this honesty rather than Neji's honesty.

"I told you it was a bad idea," she muttered.

"You said it was a totally good idea," Tenten shouted. "You said—"

"It was a good idea until you caught feelings, Tenten!" she yelled back. And from the moment those words escaped the blonde's mouth, she regretted it.

Tenten screamed and started to punch a pillow. "Fuck, Ino! I know! Don't you think I know? Neji's already made that obvious!"

Ino just sat there, feeling empathetic. Tenten wasn't going to cry. She wasn't at the point where she could do that. Instead she ate ice cream and punched pillows and screamed at the world.

"Lee wants to talk to you, he's worried."

"Don't."

"Why?"

"Because he's too much. He'll try to blame it on Neji and will make things worse," Tenten admitted. "You just feel what I'm feeling. It's easier."

Ino was silent for a moment, then spoke up again. "I don't get one thing."

"What?"

"How did you fall in love with Neji Hyuga?" she whispered. "You didn't have feelings for him before. Not even a little bit. And it was just sex for him this whole time. So how did you just—fall in love when nothing other than the fact that you two were fucking, changed?"

That was when her heart clenched and could no longer find the energy to punch her pillow. A tear slipped past her eye.

"He was really gentle," Tenten said, voice high. "From the first time we—he was always gentle."

"Until yesterday."

"Even yesterday he was gentle. It was only after I told him I love him that it stopped."

—

thirty-two days ago…

—

Neji let out a tired grunt, rolling to the side onto his back. Beside him, she clutched the sheets to her bare chest, looking at him. Her breathing was starting to calm down, as was his.

They gleamed in sweat, his head was light from the shock of pleasure swarming over his body. He sat on the edge of the bed, nearly too tired to move.

"I love you."

The words came clearly from her mouth, without hesitation. Despite it, he had to blink several times until it got through to his head. Neji frowned, now confused. Why would she love him? They had only been having sex. He had not treated her differently apart from that.

Besides, he didn't even return those feelings.

"It's just sex, Tenten. Had I known you would catch feelings, I would have never fucked you in the first place."

Her expression broke, almost like he had stabbed her with her own kunai. "You don't feel anything? Anything?"

"You'd do better to stop assuming things about me. You don't know me as well as you think you do."

He expected her to scream at him. Call him an unemotional bastard. A sociopath who couldn't love.

But Tenten stood up and dressed at a rapid pace, her breath quicker than it had been only a few minutes ago when she had been pressed under him, chanting his name. He didn't like it when she was panting for this reason.

"I'm sorry," she squeaked.

And she left.

And something hurt inside of him. There was a pressure in his chest and it started to crawl to his neck and he gasped, pain burning everywhere. Neji couldn't let it out. He didn't know what it was.

All he knew was that Tenten loved him, Tenten left, and Tenten really did know him. She knew him better than he thought she did, not the other way around.

—

forty days ago…

—

She collapsed onto him.

He caught her.

Tenten could hear his heart pounding, unsteady, rapid, yet anchoring her to reality. She tucked a piece of loose hair, hair that he had let loose, behind her ear. When she felt like it wasn't a good idea to continue lying on top of him, she scooped her shirt and panties off the ground, throwing them on so she could remain a little more decent than she felt.

When she looked at him, he had put on a pair of boxers. Not that she was particularly looking there.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"1:30,"

They both knew that she wasn't going home tonight, not when it was this late. He lay back down and she did too, this time beside him. Neji rested his arm over her waist. She wished it meant more.

Even on missions, he put his arm there. It was just how he slept. If she pulled away he wouldn't even notice. Yet it felt like something, so she let it be.

"Did you use the bathroom?" he asked.

"Not yet."

Tenten left his arms and turned on the light, blinking to adjust. She went. When she looked at herself in the mirror, she splashed her face with cold water and rinsed her mouth with mouthwash.

What was she doing?

Neji did not treat her any worse or any better since sleeping together. But why did she feel like something was different? Maybe it was because the only time when things were different was during the act itself.

She liked the way he touched her, gentle, even when rough. Because even when pain soared across her body in ways that were less than romantic and definitely not traditional, there was always some trace of kindness in it, whether that would be a quick kiss after or a soft stroke over where he had been aggressive. Tenten liked the way she could make him sigh with a particular action and enjoyed playing around with when she would do such, just to make him gasp and say her name. She liked the way he did that to her too.

But nothing ever lasted long.

They were probably the only people in the world who planned every instant they had sex.

None of it was traditional.

How did they get from practicing for experience to just deciding to practice?

But Tenten didn't know what else to do, because even though none of this resembled love, she was in love anyway.

—

fifty-three days ago…

—

"I need to ask a favour."

"What is it?"

"I—someone, er...someone told me you were experienced."

"In what way?"

"Er—in—that way."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"Well, Kiba told Sakura who told Ino who told me—"

"Wait, they told you I was experienced in sexual intercourse?"

"Yes."

"I see,"

"Are you?"

"Somewhat, so what's the favour."

"Well, I—I'm going on a seduction mission and—I—I need—"

"You need experience."

Tenten didn't seem uncomfortable. Not even a little bit. Neji didn't understand. He was dying inside of mortification that he had come to ask her of this.

She tapped her fingers against the desk and shrugged.

"How experienced are you?"

Neji blushed. "I've never—"

"That's not what I'm asking," Tenten interrupted. "How experienced are you with yourself? Do you know what you like? What are you comfortable with? What do you want to try specifically? What are your boundaries?"

"I—I haven't really thought about it."

"Neji, I can't help you if you're as sexually awakened as a ten-year-old."

He had never been compared to a ten-year-old before. Not since he was four.

"I'm not looking for anything that uh—wild. I just want to know what I'm doing if it ever comes down to it."

"Ok, well what are your boundaries? Anything I cannot do under any circumstances?"

"I'm the one who needs help. You can set the conditions."

"There are no conditions to sex, Neji. Conditions are threats and that's rape. I'm not going to do anything you're uncomfortable with. We're talking it out now so there are no accidents."

He considered it. "I don't want a load to come with this. No obligations or feelings involved."

"That works," she said instantly.

"What about you?"

"As long as you don't talk to your guy friends about how I'm like in bed, I'm good. That shit hurts. I don't like to be hurt. Are we clear?"

"Perfectly.

—

thirty seconds later…

—

He didn't know how he did it.

They were both out of usable chakra from fighting. He didn't know how they managed to take down their last opponent when minutes ago it seemed too hopeless. The only explanation that was remotely possible was that they had finally remembered how to work with each other as well as they used to, became twice as strong in the knick of time.

But what was more surprising, was that as he couldn't feel her pulse, he had only gathered up the energy to lift himself over her, putting two breaths in her mouth and pressing into her chest continuously. Would anyone see them in the middle of the battlefield?

"I won't say it, Tenten," he said. She had to make it. She was right. They were going to die. He could barely move any way other than how they were doing. He could feel himself slowly bleeding out.

"I'm not going to say it because it would be unfair to you. I hurt you. So I won't say it. I won't say it to you today Tenten, I'll say it tomorrow. You're going to live. We're going to live. I'll say it then." his voice broke, he was feeling lightheaded. "You can't leave me."

Tears rolled down his face and onto her cheeks as he gave her another two breaths. "Don't you dare leave me."

She didn't say anything.

Neji didn't know how long he was there for, but he knew he was weak. He couldn't last much longer. Until he heard Hinata screaming for their names, then the bark of Sakura upon orders and orders, he had been holding his breath, trying not to think of the pain. He collapsed as they ripped apart her clothes, tending her wounds until they shocked her.

He strained to see if she was ok, even as they held him down and secured his neck. They told him not to move but he struggled. He croaked out her name over and over again. It was only until he heard a medic scream of a pulse that he rolled back, letting them put him in more pain before he healed.

—

four days later…

—

She woke up to a steady beeping, her pulse, and bright white lights. Tenten's mind was hazy, foggy, kind of like her vision. What had happened?

Snippets of memory came back to her, screaming medics, an achingly familiar voice, and that same voice being so gentle, so—

She had told him not to tell her anything for her sanity. Had that been the right thing? She regretted it now. She would have done anything to hear him say it. She would die again to hear him mean it.

Fuck her broken heart, it would break if she would never hear it in her lifetime.

Tenten already felt tears welling to her eyes until she heard a slight beep of another machine. She drowsily turned her head and saw a figure on a bed pressed against hers, clutching her hand, not that tightly, but tense, as if it was as tight as it could hold. It was a male, she could tell by the large size, and it was strangely smooth despite the bandages. The skin was his.

He suddenly sat up and she saw bloodshot and dark eyes, staring at her with shock. Tenten had no energy to muster out any expression or emotion. But he did.

Neji collapsed onto the bed again and he shook, heavy heaves raking across his body like it was too painful for him to bear. Soft sobs were just enough for her to hear but seemed to echo in the room. It was raw, completely open, and it confused her. What was he crying for?

It couldn't be her, right?

"Neji," she whispered, squeezing his hand back. "Why are you crying?"

He shook his head as if he didn't believe she was real. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything."

"You don't have to apologize." Tenten murmured, reaching to let go but he held on tighter.

"I have to. I hurt you. I shouldn't have. I promised."

She remembered it, the boundaries they set. "I promised too. I'm sorry—"

"I love you. I should have said it sooner. I love you. I love you too."

Tenten suddenly started crying as well, rolling over to the side despite how painful it was. He held her with nearly limp arms. She buried her face into his chest, shedding what few tears were left, and let him hold her. It wasn't tight, not at all, but she felt like he would never let her go no matter what, and that was all that mattered.

—

"I had expected nearly a week for Neji to wake. It had taken two. For Tenten, I would have thought three."

"It looks like Haruno-san was right."

"She's always right."

"The human body sure does strange things with intimacy. To see them recover so much faster just because their beds were next to each other. I wonder what made their bond so strong."

"Yea, I wonder."

—

end

[raspberryfanfics]

Day 11 - Pirates or adventure

she’s not molesting him if he enjoys it

I’m completely living for the Team Gai kidnaps Neji from the clutches of Hiashi.

[raspberryfanfics]

La Primavera—NT Month Day 2

Day 2 - Primavera or spring

I know i’m late ok? Only 17 minutes of day 3 so making the most out of it

On FFn

Introduction

The optional part of a sonata, slower than the main theme, usually in the dominant key. May contain material later stated in the exposition.

Lead violin.

Tenten swore those words would haunt her until the day she died. She was so close. Her audition was perfect. Her music was expressive, her calloused fingers rolling across the strings with grace and her arms moving the bow with so much feeling.

And the worst part was that even if her audition was perfect, she still knew that there was no way she would have made solo violin compared to Neji Hyuga. Because the moment she heard him play, she knew he did everything she did twice as well.

To be honest, La Primavera wasn't even that hard to learn as a girl who had played the violin for 18 years. She shouldn't be so upset. It wouldn't be her most important gig. It was a charity one. She wasn't even going to get played. But she knew immediately that she lost the position very easily to him. She had never lost so badly

So the past four weeks, it had been playing the first violin leading the string quartet rather than the solo violin leading the song. Tenten had been responding to the solo violin on the music rather than asking. But what could she do? No matter how much more effort she put in, she couldn't have beat Neji Hyuga, whoever that was.

But who was she kidding? She had stalked Neji Hyuga on Instagram, Twitter, and every other social media he rarely used. He appeared more frequently on the news, awards, charities, and small albums. He wrote his own music.

Meanwhile, she was making pop covers with a violin.

Of course, Tenten wrote her own music too, but it was simple, nowhere as extravagant as his.

Tenten walked into the rented church, her case heavy in her arm. A smiling boy joined her side, he had shiny black hair cut into a bowl-shape, a case similar to hers, only larger. She assumed he was the violist.

"I'm Tenten," she offered.

"Lee," he flashed a smile, bright and glaring. It made her wince, though she thought he seemed like a sweet person.

"Are you familiar with the other musicians, Hinata, Gai, and Kakashi?" she asked.

"Not Hinata," Lee said, his voice loud. "Gai-sensei taught me everything I know about the viola, Kakashi is his husband. They are incredibly talented. Do you know of Neji Hyuga?"

Tenten nodded weakly. "Yes, I've listened to his recordings. He's great."

Fucking amazing, she meant.

And he was already sitting in the room with supposedly Hinata, tuning his violin without the help of the harpsichord or a tuner.

"Do you need me to play and 'A'?" she offered, already reaching for the keyboard.

Instead, he looked up at her, his cold pale eyes meeting her warm brown ones. A tingle went down her spine, but it didn't seem to be because of the cold not because she was intimidated.

"I have absolute pitch," he replied curtly before going back 'D'.

Tenten scoffed at his abruptness and his arrogance. Of course, he'd have perfect pitch. Who would expect?

Hinata gave a slight smile. She had the same eyes as Neji did. And last name, for that matter. "I'll take an 'A', please."

Tenten smiled at her, pressing the note so it rang out. She knew that Hinata easily could have listened to her cousin's note in reference to her own, but took the note anyhow.

Lee had taken out his viola as well, tuning his instrument. With the notes fresh in her mind, Tenten started as well.

When Gai and Kakashi burst in late, she was surprised by the similarities between the former and Lee. They really looked like father and son. More so than Neji and Hinata looked like siblings or cousins.

"I COULD HEAR YOUR YOUTHFUL TUNING ACROSS FROM THE ROOM! DO PLAY ME AND 'A', MISS—"

"Tenten," she said, her voice sounding like a squeak compared to his boisterous one.

Nonetheless, she let the note run through.

And when everyone was tuned, warmed up, and ready, they started. Just from the pure grace expressed on his violin, Tenten knew she was screwed. Neji Hyuga was too good, even with only a month of practice.

Exposition

The primary part of a sonata, the beginning, presenting the main motif, commonly repeated throughout. The key changes near the end of the section, preparing for the development.

Weirdly enough, after a few practices, Tenten met him again not at the church, but when she was performing on the street, greeting strangers as they walked by, pausing to talk after each song. So she finished her cover of Riptide and smiled at him.

"Hey," she said to him while answering the questions of a few admirers. However, his posture seemed to scare off the rest of her audience.

"You use your talent for this?" he scoffed.

Whatever was the opposite of a backhanded compliment was what he had done.

"I like talking to commoners," she replied. "Everyone should hear good music."

He raised an eyebrow, she began the next song. Tenten expected him to leave but he stuck through each one of her songs, even as she talked to the people who ignored him.

"Requests, anyone?" she shouted to her audience. They looked at him and she rolled her eyes, seeing that they didn't dare speak.

"An original," he provided.

Tenten's face reddened. Did he want to make fun of her or something? Shove his superior skills in front of her face? Make it obvious that he had better music than she?

"I don't have originals," she replied. The spring breeze seemed to bring a strangely gentle smile to his lips.

"A person like you has to have originals,"

"What is that supposed to mean?" she scoffed.

"Have you really never composed anything?" Neji inquired.

Tenten paused. Any musician playing as long as she had was bound to have written something, to have memorized something. She just didn't choose to make money off of them. "I've never played them for anyone."

"Play one for me,"

And somehow, the expression on his face convinced her.

"An original for Neji here," she announced. "I call this one, Spring."

A few cheers came from her audience.

Tenten rested her bow on the strings, her calloused fingers pressing down on the board. Everything tuned out until the first ring of the music drifted through the air. It was her own interpretation of spring. Tenten played the flowers blooming, the gentle breeze, and the birds singing. When she stopped, the tips in her case looked heavier and the look of admiration and fascination in his gaze made her breath batch.

Something was different between them after that.

—

"I didn't know you had a studio," Neji walked into the apartment, offering the homey nature of where her many students would learn from her when she wasn't practicing at charities or for the people on the street.

You don't know a lot of things about me.

"Yea, it gives me more privacy. And it separates work from home. An office, in a way."

He smiled. "Impressive that you can afford it in a place with such expensive rent."

Tenten looked at him to see if there was any suspicion on his face. There weren't any. "I have my ways."

Though her ways might be questionable.

"It's not like you'd have any trouble affording it."

He shrugged, slowly looked around, sitting at her keyboard. The score on the stand took his attention. His pale eyes skimmed through the music. Her music. She could see him playing silently in his head.

"You've added more to this," he held up the page, half littered in notes. Then he motioned the piano, making her blush. "May I?'

Tenten nodded, slowly sitting beside him on the bench, the way she would with her student. Yet usually she'd listen to her students play and judge them, but now she was listening to Neji play and he was judging her.

His fingers played the first motif, then continued, playing the simple melodies with usual grace, giving her music more of a solemn feel than playful. He went through what she had not yet composed for him and the way he brought something she had written herself to life made her fall for him just a little more.

Neji filled something that Tenten made with the life only he could give, the magic he seemed to bring with him.

"It's beautiful," he said, his baritone voice deep in admiration. While her voice was high like the violin they played, his was low like the cello. Tenten's heart stopped.

"You can have it when I complete it," she blurted without thinking. He turned to her, his expression unreadable other than the fact that he thought she was crazy. "I mean, you don't' have to, of course. I know the song is super simple and definitely nothing like Vivaldi or Beethoven—"

"You'd give it to me? Your song?"

She flushed. "Well, you'd have the original score and I'd have a photocopy to play but yea, I'd write it for you."

Her face turned so red she thought she had a fever.

Yet Neji just seemed flabbergasted. Every emotion usually masked until he played the violin was open for her to see. Surprise, confusion, captivation...though she understood the expression, she just didn't understand why.

"No one has written me a piece before," he admitted, a breath escaping from his lips. And the admiration of her music turned to the admiration of her. He looked something between wonderstruck and struck. Her heart pounded in her chest a few tempos faster.

"I—I can give you one of my scores as well," he said. "It's one of the pieces I've memorized for my next concert so I'm completely finished—"

"You don't have to," Tenten said quickly, eyes wide. "You don't owe me—"

"I'd like to," he insisted. "Should you wish to learn it one day."

"Without thinking, she took his face into her hands and pulled his jaw towards her. He was still. She could feel the shock on his frozen lips. But his surprise seemed to melt like the thawing mountain streams, growing trails of new life and magic that only music could describe.

And Tenten was slowly falling for the man who tasted of spring the more she kissed him.

—

She didn't know when or even how, but there was a point where playing the Vivaldi seemed more emotional than it was. Because now, though Neji's violin was still calling, he was calling for her. She'd answer, light as the birds, like a nature spirit. And though Hinata would answer the call, then Lee, it still felt like he was calling for her only.

There they were, six strings, making one song. And it truly felt like spring.

That evening, Neji and Tenten went back to her studio. He brought his violin. He played for her the music he was still perfecting. Tenten could barely breathe. The sweet sounds made her eyes flutter shut instantly. They played for her ears only. She believed, let herself believe that this song was for her. When he finished, there was a pause. There always was a pause at the end of a great performance.

Only when he lifted his bow from the strings, had he truly completed the song. She watched anxiously as he set the instrument down, turned to her and stared into her eyes. His pale gaze was strangely warm. She breathed slowly, he breathed over her, and their legs were a tangled mess. But their lips? Oh, what was going on between their lips was far from messy.

Tenten felt like she was on cloud nine. His kisses trailed to his neck and what was supposedly warm became heated and all she could do was cling onto his dress shirt with helpless whimpers. But he pulled back, to her dismay, and it was only the grin on his face that kept her from taking charge herself.

She slowly opened her phone and tapped, then handed it back to her.

"I want to take you on a date."

Tenten nearly passed out.

"Just before the charity recital," he added. "Wear what you'll perform in and bring your violin."

She nodded dumbly.

Neji kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you then, Tenten."

After he left, she opened her phone and realized he had sent himself her real address.

All of the heat froze with a wave of fear.

—

The doorbell rang. Tenten adjusted her hair, makeup, threw her shade of lipstick into her purse in case the dinner messed it up. Or his lips.

Tenten threw makeup wipes in there just in case.

She opened the door and she had to keep herself from pouncing at him at the sight of how he looked in a perfectly tailored suit and somehow even neater hair. His tie probably cost her her her dress, shoes, and purse combined. There was a bouquet of flowers in his hand, not roses, but crocuses. Tenten didn't know a lot about flowers but she knew that crocuses were among the first flowers to bloom in spring.

As she stared at the thoughtfulness, it gave him a chance to look her apartment over. It looked normal, hopefully. He didn't point anything, in particular, out so she was in the clear.

"Shall we go?" he held his elbow out for her, which she took happily.

They walked out of her apartment, violins in their free hands.

—

The restaurant was fancy.

Tenten had feared these types of restaurants when she was younger because she knew it would be much too awkward to be enjoyable. Yet somehow, with the way he smiled and explained the French dishes to her, it didn't matter.

She cracked light jokes. They talked of their music, their lives, their dreams.

"You would have very popular concerts," he spoke.

"Yet I can't compare to you."

"I disagree," he said. "Your music is much more memorable than mine."

"I do not have the fluency that you play with, Neji."

"Will you consider being a composer?"

Tenten nodded. "I'll write you some music. You'll record them for me, make me famous."

He chuckled. "As you wish."

Her eyes widened. "Ooh, speaking of which, Lee and I got tickets to your next concert. We'll be listening very carefully for any mistakes."

"Thanks. You didn't have to."

"I would listen to your playing even had I not pursued you," she teased. "Lee would too."

Neji's expression changed. "With Lee—is there—I don't want to—if you and him—"

Tenten's eyes widened in surprise. "I've only known him since we came together for the Vivaldi. He's like a brother to me. You don't have anything to worry about."

He flushed slightly. "My apologies."

"You don't do this too often, do you?" she asked abruptly.

"Do what?"

"You don't do the dating thing a lot. You haven't had many girlfriends."

Neji stared down at his ridiculously expensive food. "It's easier for me that way. I can focus on my music."

"Then why date me?"

"Most of the time, dating distracts me. Yet you inspire me, Tenten."

Fuck, I love him.

She only smiled. "Why haven't you been inspired by the other girls?"

"I've never been as attached to them as I am with you."

And she could see every ounce of vulnerability he had like all of the snow melted under her. But she was worried about when it would burn.

Development

The second part of a Sonata, introducing new or varied motifs and begins in the key the exposition ended in.

The charity recital had brought in plenty of profit. Easily said, it had been their best performance. Tenten sat by Neji's side in the fluorescent lighting backstage, exclaiming opinions and admiring the way his face seemed all the more contoured, more like a god than man.

She held his hands, firm, calloused fingers on hi his right, softer ones on his left. She was subtle, only her quartet and harpsichord noticed. His pulse would quicken at certain actions. Tenten found that she liked discovering what those actions were.

Tenten was led into his car after the recital and he didn't put keys into the ignition, rather kissed her the moment she closed the door.

"You were driving me crazy backstage," he said between breaths.

"Really? Totally couldn't tell."

"You were."

"Looks like you're gonna have to sneak me backstage during your concert." she joked.

But alas, the moon started to grow tired of them making out in the car and she was yet to go home despite rather staying with him.

"I'm planning the date next time," she told him as they walked to her apartment, lingering because neither wanted to leave. His memory would still cling onto her, though it would never beat the real thing.

He was spring now. He used to be winter; cold, harsh, and thrilling, but she had melted into spring; warm, gentle, relaxing. She liked to think of herself as summer; hot, fierce, and playful, so she was able to do so. She liked to believe she was the only one to make the icy exterior thaw.

They reached the top of the steps to her apartment. She shoved her keys in her door, fumbling. And she looked back at him, let go of her unlocked doorknob, seeing his pale eyes staring at her so wondrously. They were darkened by the dim lighting and Tenten was filled with so much desire and amazement that she let the words at the tip of her tongue slip.

"I love you, Neji."

Tenten was afraid of his reaction so she quickly reached for the door again. Yet he grabbed her hand and pushed her wrists above her head. He attacked her with his mouth and fuck, spring was definitely summer now. She could only wrap her legs around his waist, accommodating his kisses by tilting her head and gasping for air.

Fireworks went off in her body. Symphonies played in her head. Even as he pulled away slightly, she could tell that he wanted to lean in again.

"Say it again," he breathed. She was amazed that he managed to get any words out.

"I—I love you,"

"Again,"

"I love you.

"Again."

"Aren't you going—"

"I love you, Tenten."

Her heart stopped. And it stopped again when he reached up to her cocktail dress and she realized where this was going.

"Wait—" her voice trailed off when he squeezed her bottom and sucked at her collarbone. "I—"

He opened the door and Tenten had to force herself away.

"Neji, I—"

But she was too late.

His pale eyes, previously filled with desire and lust were filled with confusion, slowly morphing into anger. In them, she could see the reflection of a warm light, the type that tried to imitate the sunshine but never worked, and a familiar silhouette.

"Tenten," though he was trying to stay calm, she could hear a slight quiver in his voice. "Who—"

The guy on the couch had obsidian hair and eyes. He seemed bored, a horror documentary playing on the television. In all, he didn't seem to care. "Who am I? I should be asking you, shouldn't I be? You're in my house, after all."

"You live here," Neji said, though it was quite obvious now.

Tenten wanted to hide in a corner. She was going to have a panic attack if this went—

"And you don't. Nice flowers you got for my girlfriend, by the way. I'm sure she appreciates it—"

"Sasuke—" she started, but Neji interrupted.

"My deepest apologies. I wasn't aware that Tenten had—"

"It is not your fault that she failed to inform you of her commitments."

But he was already out of the apartment.

She didn't even spare a look back at Sasuke, following after him with hasty steps.

"Neji!"

He didn't answer her. She called his name again and again yet he continued walking. He walked to his car, the door unlocking. With a burst of speed, she intercepted him from opening the door, biting her lip and holding back the tears she didn't deserve to have.

"Neji will you listen to me—"

"Why should I listen to you!" he shot, suddenly, face red, burned, scorched by her. His chest heaved up and down and though he feigned pure rage, it sounded more like pleading.

"So I can explain—"

"What can possibly explain you having a boyfriend already? I thought I was your boyfriend! What can you say that will excuse not telling me in any fucking circumstance?"

She was silent. Tenten didn't have an answer.

"Fuck," he said, voice breaking as if she had put her hand over the strings, stopping any further sound. "You said—you said you love me and I fucking believed you."

"I do love you!" she said. "I don't love Sasuke, I love you! I want you, Neji—"

"But how can I trust you!" tears started to roll down both their faces.

She shook and he pushed her away to the side roughly. Tenten didn't feel it. She could only feel regret and guilt and knew that she deserved it.

"I don't want to see you again. I don't want you in my life anymore," he said, voice too much calmer than before. He slammed the car door and drove away, not even looking at her through his rearview mirror.

And she broke down in the parking lot of her apartment building, feeling more helpless than she had ever been.

—

It wasn't like Tenten had ever loved Sasuke Uchiha. Not even a little bit. How could she have ever had an ounce of feeling other than platonic for him when that was the only way he felt for her too?

The thing was, she was his rebound friend with benefit. Two bad ideas in one. But bad ideas often outweighed each other and while friends with benefits often caught feelings and as did rebounds, being both made her even colder to him than she used to be.

Sasuke had just broken up with Sakura Haruno, a bassist under Kakashi, while he was a violist like Lee. They had known each other forever. They had loved each other for a little shorter. But Sakura wasn't someone he could just get over. Sex wouldn't change that but would sure distract.

He and Tenten took many of the same classes in university. Were they friends? Not really. But they often collaborated together and knew each other well enough. Around the same time he broke up with Sakura, she needed a studio for her students. So he let her live in his one-room apartment and in exchange, she became his girlfriend, which really just meant she was his sex buddy and warded off any other girls who wanted to be.

And it worked for her too. Like Neji, boyfriends distracted her. She didn't like falling for guys even though she knew she would cave under some of their charms. Sasuke warded them off for her as well. He wasn't bad in bed either. They only considered themself as actual friends when she was so drunk that she brought home a guy who wanted to take advantage of her in her own house, whom he nearly beat up.

Maybe it would have been easier to explain to him had she not slept with him since meeting Neji. Tenten really had done that. She felt dirty, a mistress, and Sasuke didn't know any better than to drive Neji off too. He had been right. Nothing could have possibly excused her actions because he deserved to know about Sasuke in a way better than what had happened, and he would have understood why she did what she did.

Tenten sulked around her house for a week. She emailed her students and said she was sick. She practiced the violin all day, playing the songs he had given her for hours on end.

That was when her "boyfriend" approached her.

"I think it's around time you and I broke up."

Tenten blinked, then saw he was sincere. She set down her instrument and he sat down on their bed, sighing.

"The past few weeks, you don't seem to want sex as much."

She nearly slapped him for his words but he held his pale hand out, stopping her.

"In the times we did have sex, you muttered someone else's name," he explained. "I couldn't figure out what you said. But now that I think about it, it was his. The man you brought home and cried for a week ago. I can tell you love him, the way I love Sakura. I don't want to get in the way between that."

Tenten didn't know what to say. She just stared at him. It was obvious that he still wasn't over his ex, but he had never admitted loving her out loud.

"I'll help you move out. I can loan you some money as well."

"But why? I'm the one who has been in the wrong. Why are you being so nice to me?"

He shrugged. "You were the only person who understood not wanting to talk about Sakura. And you've made me realize that I want her back."

She found herself calling Lee that day, explaining to him the mess she had gotten into. He offered her the empty room in his space.

Recapitulation

The repeat and slightly altered version of the exposition in a sonata. Usually consists of a transition to keep the tonic key so the section can conclude.

"TENTEN! DID YOU SERIOUSLY FORGET?"

It was the middle of the evening. What could she possibly forget? She was in her studio, writing music.

"Lee, what is it this time?" Tenten muttered, setting her score down as he walked in, wearing a green button-up and nice pants. His hair was neater. He looked like he was going on a date. Had he needed a ride for his date or something?

"The concert!" he shouted as if she was stupid. To be fair, she was.

"What concert?"

"NEJI'S CONCERT! NEJI'S CONCERT IS TODAY! WE HAVE TICKETS, REMEMBER?" he shoved a black dress into her hands. "GET READY."

Tenten's heart stopped. She hadn't seen him in weeks. She thought of him every day. She cried herself to sleep thinking of him. She thought of him in her sleep. "Why the fuck would I go to his concert?"

"Because even if you are in love with him, it doesn't excuse the fact that he has great music."

She could see very little resemblance between the two subjects.

"Oh, come on, Ten. Are you seriously going to miss it?"

She wasn't and he knew it. So she threw on the dress and joined him in the concert hall, blending in with hundreds among hundreds of other people, waiting in line just to see him play. Tenten didn't know what to expect.

The lights seemed to dim in what felt like years and he walked out onto the stage. Her breath caught painfully in her throat. It hadn't caught this way in so long.

He was the personification of elegance. His dark suit made him took tall, his hair drifting down his back in a low ponytail, his pale skin glowing in the spotlight. Tucked under his arm was his violin. Even though he was on the stage and she was far into the audience, she could still see those lilac eyes clearer than ever.

Neji took a spot at the center of the stage and closed his eyes, shifting as everything was so silent she could hear a pin drop. When he opened his eyes, music started to drift into the halls.

She recognized the music. She had listened to him play it over and over again, sometimes slowly, sometimes in different rhythms. She had played it over and over again, the music that he had given her the scores to. Upon hearing the sounds coming from his violin rather than hers, Tenten felt like she was going to burst because even though it was the same music, it sounded so different as he did.

And the whole concert was like that. She had to close her eyes and listen so she could be fully immersed in it. Tenten felt herself falling all over again. The music was sombre, cold, and distant. Yet she felt it all. She had been summer before and now she was turning into autumn. Everything was chilly. Shivers ran down her spine.

When he ended his last piece, it felt like no time had passed. Everyone was quiet. They could only breathe it in. Neji bowed, and she could only stand like the rest of them, clapping. He looked forwards and she felt like he was looking directly at her, but he wasn't. He only looked to a sea of faces, faces he couldn't even see, and she knew she was only imagining things. They cheered for an encore, even the staff cheered for an encore, and he slowly raised his hands, allowing them to quiet so he could perform.

Yet he spoke instead. She hadn't heard him speak this whole time until now.

"This piece was composed for me by someone dear to me. She calls it Spring."

Tenten clutched onto Lee's arm with terrifying strength. "Fuck, fuck, Lee, that's my—"

But the first note of her song filled the hall with a warmed feeling than all of his other songs. He was playing her song. He played to exceptionally beautifully, with all the emotions she had felt in her heart. She heard love, she heard spring, and she heard the beautiful thing they had developed in a heart wrenching way.

Tears slid out of her eyes as he finished and when she left, the talkative exclaims of how their favourite piece had been the encore at the end.

—

Hinata had given her his address so there she was, standing at Neji's apartment with only hope and a violin.

She rang his doorbell slowly, holding her breath as she heard his footsteps come closer.

The door opened and he met her eyes, holding her gaze for a solid second before slamming the door in her face.

"Neji Hyuga!" she screamed, tired, fed up, and terribly, terribly in love with him.

"Fuck off!"

She didn't think that such foul and ungraceful words would ever come out of his mouth. Yet Tenten had long predicted such an outcome would happen. So she sat her violin case on the opposite wall, then took out her tuner. She watched as the notes hit a whole tone below what the standard tuning was and started on the song.

Though it was awkward at first, she soon got the hang of it. The melody was the one he composed. Music in exchange for music. A song an audience had heard but only two knew to play. She mustered all the emotions she could into it. Tenten tried to play it as well as he did.

Her performance caught the attention of a few other residents of the building. Perhaps they were enchanted by the music, perhaps they were going to threaten Neji with another sound complaint. Yet they saw her, not him, playing differently, playing in the hall. They listened to her, reciting his music until his door opened once more.

Neji's eyes were brimmed red, he looked more tired than he had during his concert. She stopped playing at the sight of him and couldn't move her sore fingers. She saw his adam's apple bob and he bit his lip.

"You're out of tune," he whispered. Because of course even though her music had brought him to tears behind the door, he would only point out her purposeful mistake to flaunt his absolute pitch.

The people of the apartment watched in interest.

"It's driving you mad," she said, referring herself more than the instrument. Yet she tucked the violin under her arm, grabbing her case, and entering his apartment before he could drive her out yet again.

Neji leaned against the door after closing it, rubbing his temples. He didn't meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry for everything," she whispered, setting down her violin and touching his face lightly.

Neji leaned his head back further into the door, almost as if he wanted to escape her touch, but he tilted it and somehow his jaw fit even tighter into her hand.

"I won't make excuses. But I have never had feelings for Sasuke, only for you, and we broke up a couple of weeks ago. I still love you, Neji." Tenten inhaled sharply. "I know you love me too."

And he started to shake, trembling into her hand, clinging onto her.

"Will you give me another chance?"

Neji nodded.

She hadn't realized how badly she needed that. Relief flooded her veins and she kissed him, slowly, steadily, and never planned to let go.

Spring meant new beginnings, but most of the time it was just being revived again.

[raspberryfanfics]

Six—NTmonth Day 15

Day 15—Witches and Warlocks

I’m late but you don’t care and neither do I. I burned out during the first week. So here’s another Harry Potter crossover. This can be a standalone but feel free to read part one!

Part 1 on FFn

Six on FFN

—

It's quiet outside. Quiet apart from a few familiar hits of a couple of owls, breaking the cold silence with weary conversation. Yet a figure draws out of the shadow and the hooting halts for a moment, curious of the strangers walking along their path.

The person wears a long tan wool trench, though bulky, does nothing to hide an elegant figure as when she walks, her lean legs, looking taller with the pleats on her grey pants. Her leather loafers look new. Maybe she often cleans them, though it wouldn't come as a surprise if she is good enough not to get them dirty. Her hands are gloved in black. There's a scarf of red and gold wrapped tightly around her neck, the only article of clothing with colour. Her footsteps are nearly soundless but even so, the soft clicks that are made command attention among the owls, her presence powerful.

One owl hands on the black lamppost, talons scraping onto the metal as he silently folds his wings. The woman glances up and examines its shape, brings up the crook of her elbow as if placing it onto a tall counter. The bird lands on her forearm, dipping his head in greeting.

"Ah, it's you, Kaiten. It's been quite a while, hasn't it?" her voice is calm and deep, though the deepness comes from her slow calmness rather than her actual voice. Yet it is effective. Her voice makes her seem more mature than she looks, a soft face with large eyes, colour indistinguishable under the glare of the darkness, and hair tied into two buns at the sides of her head.

Kaiten hoots in greeting. There is nothing tired around his ankle, she notices.

"Are you here alone?" she smiles, "I expected him to be with you, though it could be that you are meeting him here. I am, as well."

Her words almost seem to bring the anticipated footsteps of him, his heavier, but are just as intimidating and as confident as hers. She slowly turns around and focuses on the person she has been expecting, or expecting her.

He's dressed similarly to her. However, his trench is navy rather than tan and it's unbuttoned, revealing a black vest under a white button-up that seems to shine in the dark. While her shoes are pebbled, his are smooth and glossy and reflect every bit of the light. His scarf was of the same material, a thick knit, but the colours were of blue and silver rather than red and gold. Perhaps the most distinguishable difference is his long black hair flowing down to his waist, tied into a very low ponytail with a silver band. His bangs reach his collarbones and they drift in the wind, resembling a ribbon rather than the messiness that hair usually reacts under the breeze. Though her dark eyes were hard to say much about, it is easy to see that his eyes are silver, and they stare into hers.

She stays still, holding his gaze, face without any expression. The woman doesn't allow herself to feel much at the contact. Her chin tilts down in greeting, as he does the same. As he was the one who has requested their meeting, she waits for him to speak first. She is looking for a direct answer to why she is meeting him, now, in the night, in the break they have had from speaking.

Instead, he looks at the owl, who's snowy feathers start to resemble his eyes when one looks closely and quirks the tip of his eyebrow, almost amused.

"It has been long since Kaiten has not tried to terrorize a sorcerer in his path,"

"Perhaps he likes me," she says, untying the sash of her coat and taking out a series of seeds, allowing him to eat from the palm of her hand. "Or perhaps he recalls that I carry food in my pocket. I fed him well."

He nods. "Is Bō—"

"Bō passed a couple of years back. Murdered while carrying classified information." the woman explains, nearly emotionless. However, there is a glance of sympathy in his eyes that she does not miss and confuses her, however, she does not let it show.

"It has been a while, Miss Long,"

She gives a bitter chuckle. "Are we already past the point that we cannot address each other by our first names?"

She purposely leaves out his name, not knowing what to say. She'll allow him to decide whether he wants to continue calling her by her last name or her first. So she waits for him to walk up to her before pacing with him along the cobblestone path, weaving through turns and intersections at a moderate pace. His skin looks warmer under the orange glare of the lamps but she knows of the usual paleness, resembling porcelain rather than sand. Yet her attention focuses more on the lack of accessories on his hand apart from the Hyuga crest on his middle finger and a silver swirl on his pointer.

She hasn't seen that ring before, not on him at least. Perhaps it is another crest. But she has seen it on other people and he isn't the type to engage in trends. What's more important is that there is no ring on his ring finger, which doesn't come as much as a surprise considering that he was on the newest Witch Weekly's Britain's Most Eligible Bachelors. She knows he is still officially single. Just like her.

Of the past six years, she has made four Britain's Most Eligible Bachelorettes on Warlocked Magazine and he has made all. In a strange way, it bothers her that he has remained single all these years while she has had a good handful scattered everywhere and was in a serious one in the years she didn't make the magazine. It nearly feels like he has been faithful to her, but there are far more reasons to disprove his faith.

"I'm sure you have heard of the Akastuki's rising," he starts. She nods. Since the organization started to murder people in every corner of the world, that's all the witches and wizards have been speaking of. Few people do not know of it.

"There is an order looking to defy the ministry and to rebel against them. Tsunade herself is leading it. So far, Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru, a few professors, and Hinata are in. There are more, but we're still recruiting. He pauses "We need you, Tenten."

She freezes. Tenten does not respond. The idea sounds like a hopeless school club but appealing nonetheless. Yet there are too many things, things she would not have thought of when they were still young that keep her from really considering.

"I'm not sure you do," she says, but she wishes so in another way that has nothing to do with the order.

"Tenten, you're the youngest witch to ever be appointed Head Auror. They say you've put 200 in Azkaban. You're more powerful than you know."

"You need my title, not my power," she says instead. "Isn't that right, Neji."

He shakes his head. "You're extremely talented—"

"I am. I am Neji, but most of the people you just told me about are better at magic than I am. They were qualified to be Aurors. Many Aurors are better than I am. I only hold the position because the minister or magic needed a drastic change. How well do you think my name and power will work when I am in Azkaban? You don't need me. You've put far more people in Azkaban than I have."

Neji Hyuga is a member of the Wizengamot. He's a part of the jury who decides on the new laws of the wizarding world and also of the results during a trial. Tenten is the head Auror, a position that is usually handed out to people in their forties, the youngest before her in their mid-thirties. Neji, on the other hand, was offered the position at twenty-one, while most Wizengamont members were at least sixty, nearly retired. It was inevitable that he would be the Cheif Warlock very soon.

He speaks of her power highly, as if his position is not much higher than hers. But their power difference was not always so drastic.

In the over four years that they had been dating, they had been going along similar paths. Both went under the three years of Auror training and made it out with high grades, his better than hers of course. He was good at everything, better at everything except for transfigurations. But a scout found him, found his calmness, his level-headedness, his intense demeanour as the perfect candidate for a Wizengamot member, despite being so young. Not to mention that his name happens to be filled with history, probably the purest of the country. Almost disgustingly so.

"We don't need your name. The organization is secret. We need your power, your position. It will be easy for you to know the details of criminals and feed false information to the ministry. You are in charge of recruiting both the trainees and the Aurors. Your intuition is astoundingly good. You can spy without the need of being subtle or cautious. Do you not understand?"

"I understand my power," she says. "But you know just as well that power will not win a war."

Neji nods. Clouds clear, revealing a moon similar in colour to his eyes. Yet the weather remains cold, the streets remain desolate. The area provides an almost nostalgic setting. It could be nostalgic.

She, Neji, and Lee, a former classmate who is now a professional Quidditch player, used to sneak out of their homes, or orphanage in Lee's case, and play. They were teenagers by the time they met, so it was mostly to play wizard's chess and Gobstones in the parks or wander into muggle stores where they'd explain the use of items to Neji.

And the winter where all of them were finally seventeen, they'd duel in the forests, able to use magic. They'd rescue frozen cats and heal injured birds, would feed stray dogs scraps of food they'd steal from the butchers. When they began dating, they came here on dates, showing him hot chocolate, then ice cream. Yet after the massacre happened near the town, a reputation developed for dark things happening and the area deserted.

This place was good for one reason: secrecy. Their history allowed them to use memories as place names and times. Here, it was convenient. It was not for nostalgia. Tenten barely spared second glances to the cafes and ice cream shops they had gone to.

Won't you join anyway?

She said nothing, unsure.

"Tenten, your righteousness surely cannot fail you now."

He was answered by a sharp how of wind and the slicking of their shoes.

"Forgive me that I do not want to participate in an order that will start a war."

"That's awfully hypocritical coming from a witch who makes money off of conflict."

"Do you not also make money off of conflict, Neji Hyuga?"

"I am trying to end the war, Tenten Long."

"How do you not think that it is what I am trying to do as well? I am neither the best nor the most experienced Auror. I am more progressive than half of them combined. Do you know how hard it was to get this promotion? While you diddle daddle in meetings and recruitments, I'm cautiously watching every action of the blood-supremacist Aurors and firing them. I'm slowly imposing more guidelines to control the brutality and the hate crime our own are committing. Less extreme measures. The new recruits have been screened so tightly that any unnecessary accounts of violence or hateful comments do not make it. But everyone is watching me. Those old members of the Wizengamot will use any excuse to get me out of power. They'll throw in a violent head who allows the uses of the unforgivables. I'm trying to end this current war, not stop the upcoming one."

Neji's face hardens. "I cannot see how someone as noble as you are so afraid of joining the order."

Tenten scoffs. "I'm not noble—"

"You know why you made Head Girl in our seventh year but didn't make Prefect?"

She recalls how he was both Prefect and head boy. And she made has wondered. She wasn't the smartest or the kindest or the most anything. Tenten had asked him countless times why he thought she had made head girl but he would never tell her.

"You were good. You brought out the best in everyone. You did what you believed was right and would make sure others would do so. I had heard Professor Yuhi say to Professor Hatake that you were the role model that all Gryffindor should aspire to be.

"She didn't," Tenten can hardly believe he potions professor would say such a thing about her. It seems all too much.

"You know I wouldn't lie about that, Ten."

She can only let her heart ache at the sound of the name he used to call her, but should not have much more meaning. She can only wince and stand her ground. "

It's been six years, Neji." she whispers as her voice drowns among the trembling leaves and rain dripping off roofs.

Tenten has held off on thinking about them since she got his owl. It has been all too much now. Six years ago, they were freshly graduated from the Auror academy. New recruits sent on easier cases. Maybe half a year later, they had gained the trust of many seniors and they were partners, developing strategies, blending together like dance partners.

She still remembers how loving him felt. It was too good, impossible, almost.

They were twenty-one. They had been dating for four years and she thought it was possible that he'd even propose. Even now, she doesn't blame herself for thinking so. He had consistently disappeared more and more. He stuttered to her more. And the chemistry wasn't gone. He couldn't have been cheating. He wouldn't ever.

But one day, he just left.

She woke up and half his stuff was gone, mostly pictures, even of them, his scarf, his favourite robes, and obviously his wand. He didn't show up to work. She was told that he resigned and she was offered to either have a new partner or to work alone. And she chose the latter.

Tenten had sent her owl to deliver countless letters to him, pouring her heart out, begging him to come back home, to work with her again, to tell her why he was gone. But he never wrote back until she found his name in the daily prophet, announcing his new position as the new Wizengamot member. She wrote to his work address and her reply only explained how he got the position rather than why he left her. And it was completely professional, not an ounce of emotion.

She had never followed Witch Weekly magazines until then, hoping for glimpses of the guy who ghosted her and broke her heart. Even now, she still isn't over him, her first love, likely her only. Tenten wonders if he still cars about her the way he did when they were seventeen.

He cast his first Patronus, the spell he could not master because it used one's most powerful memories, after their first kiss over the top of the Ravenclaw Tower, a place she should not have been. He had snuck her there. His Patronus took form as a falcon, resembling his serious and strict demeanour, intimidating and sharp.

She wonders if his Patronus has changed form, as Patronuses sometimes do to resemble one's personality. Hers has. Every time she mumbles those incantations, no matter which memory she uses, a swan spills out from her wand instead of a leopardess. It's a bird, like his. Maybe it's because she will never get over him, will always belong to him in her heart.

"Tenten, you can't possibly be naive enough to believe that this can be solved without war. It's either that or you just don't want to do anything I ask of you. The order is asking, not me."

"So you don't care about whether or not I join. Following someone's orders without a second thought of doing what you'd like to yourself," she spits out bitterly. A flinch reaches across his body. Her words may have reached deeper than she would have thought.

"Of course I agree with their course of action."

"Well, of course, you do. You always just obey rules, never bend or break them. And of course, you're a part of the order and have enough respect that even if your name leaks out, your job is secure. You still have enough money to sustain yourself for another century."

His face hardens and his adam's apple, shadows crossed deeply over his neck, bobs slowly. "I do not follow every rule—"

"One instance, Neji," she says, controlling her voice despite the way she wants to scream at him. Gravel shakes behind her.

"Ravenclaw tower. I shouldn't have snuck you—"

"That's shit, Hyuga. You snuck me into your common room and that's the only rule you've ever broken? You've never done anything. Not to sneak socks and scarves for the house-elves. To let the first-years drenched because they were lost, use the prefect baths. Stealing ingredients from the potions cabinet because some muggle-borns couldn't afford it. But no, the worst you've ever done is put a Gryffindor Head Girl in the secret Ravenclaw tower so you could kiss her into submission for the rest of her life. Tell me, did you leave me without saying goodbye because your uncle told you to or because you didn't love me. I bet it's both."

"Tenten!" he yells. His voice quivers like the leaves, he shakes with the wind.

"Dammit, Neji!" Tenten has her wand out now. She doesn't know why but she feels vulnerable and whenever she feels vulnerable, she has her wand out. "Deny it! I dare you to deny it!"

"I—I cared, but—" he doesn't muster out much after that.

"Yea, I thought so," she swallows, wraps her scarf tighter. There's a spell on it to protect her from the cold but it still feels freezing. Neji won't look at her. He won't deny or admit anything. She can only ask one thing of him. "Cast your Patronus."

The man freezes, his fists form into tight balls. She catches his every movement, analyzes his movements as she does to a suspect. But she can read suspects. She can't read him.

His lips, pale but still red from dryness, press together. Wind pushes by him, almost trying to rip through this trench coat, to unravel his scarf. His eyebrows knit but his face appears to be the only thing that moves. He doesn't reach for his wand.

"Cast it!"

He slowly shakes his head. Neji's voice runs deep. "I cannot."

Tenten bites her lips and trembles, just slightly. "Six years. It's the first time you've reached out to me in six years and still, it's not an apology. I—I just need to see if—if it has changed."

"I haven't been able to cast a Patronus in—six years, Ten," he says. "Not even a wisp."

She can't move. It's like she's petrified. Had he been broken too?

Tenten swirls her wand in a circle and yells. "Expecto Patronum!"

A silver ribbon of light flows from the tip of her wand, it starts to dip into the ground, forming into a puddle until shapes weave together into a swan. It starts to fly, around her, around him, and slowly goes into the forest behind them, exploring. Everything around them is dark, greys, blacks, but her swan is a glow of warm blue light. It makes him look lovelier, the colour of her Patronus now the colour of his eyes, glued onto it.

"Tell me why—" her voice cracks abruptly. "Why for the past six years, I've been casting a bird that represents everlasting faith instead of a leopardess that's supposed to represent fierceness.

His gaze is focused on the figure cast of her happy memories, ones surrounding memories of him and Lee, bittersweet, but also marvellous. "Every memory I had used to cast a Patronus doesn't bring me joy anymore. I cannot feel anything but guilt and regret now."

Even though she wants to say he deserves it, he deserves constant sadness, depression, six years is a long time. It's more than the time they had been dating. And he's been on all six issues of Britain's Most Eligible Bachelors—

"You bastard," she nearly sobs. "Why the bloody hell did you leave me?"

He starts closer to her. "I was wrong. You were right. You were always right. It was my uncle. I was afraid of being disowned and I thought I'd be nothing, that I would have nothing but not having you—god, Tenten, it's so much worse than I would have ever thought."

She grabs his coat collar. She knows he expects her to kiss him but she takes his wand from the pocket of his sleeve, a move they practiced when they were working together. It's usually unexpected. The feel of his wand, elm, unicorn tail, a smooth finish that's much neater than hers, still sits strangely familiar, though the stun she shoots misses barely.

Her next movement consists of taking a black wand from her own sleeve, ebony phoenix feather, and she throws his back into his hands before turning back to their unwelcome visitor. She had sensed him there, behind Neji, finally finding an opportunity to attack.

Curses, dark ones, shoot at her. Tenten reflects them with the flick of her wrist but even then, she can feel how powerful the dark arts are within him. The gravel littered across the ground lifts and she transfigures them into sharp blades fo steel. With a large wand movement, they shoot to him at a rapid speed. This attack continues, the rocks becoming knives, twigs becoming daggers.

A particularly nasty curse comes towards her and she doesn't know how well she can deflect it. She has always been better at attacking than defending.

The glow of capable blue light form around her and it isn't her spell. The shield stops even her movements. It's Neji's charm, one of the biggest and strongest ones she has ever seen. It's his clan's specialty: defence and his cousin perform them so well and she doubts that he will have a single scar after the war from magic.

The force of his shield is so strong that it knocks back the dark wizard. Tenten snaps back into focus. Through the shield, she sends a series of stuns, transfigured objects, and they move close to him, Neji shooting defensive spells as offensive ones. It's a pattern of attacks that Tenten has forgotten. Only her muscles move practised precision, using their enemy's unfamiliar to the environment to her advantage. Neji disarms him and Tenten binds him with Auror ropes.

Her pants of breath are muffled by the howling wind. Yet she can tell that Neji is also out of breath from the wispy puffs of perspiration. She strides up to the man and lifts his hood. She quickly flips back the pages of the blacklist and she recognizes him. He's Kabuto Yakushi. He's a powerful dark wizard, skilled healer, and a killer of countless of her coworkers.

Had neji not been with her, she doubts she would have been able to deflect him alone. As the same for him. Even had it been any other Auror alongside her, she knows that she simply wouldn't be strong enough.

"Well, I have to say, the show you put on was convincing," KAbuto says calmly, his glasses resting at the tip of his nose. "Caught me off guard for a moment. That's pretty rare, but nothing to think otherwise from the Head Auror and a Wizengamot member."

"Yakushi," she says, her voice cool like a snake. A smile quirks at her lips. "We've been looking everywhere for you,"

Neji glances at her. "You know him?"

Tenten nods. "He's one of the most wanted wizards in the blacklist."

"You better bring him in quickly, then," he replies.

Tenten flicks her wand and he goes unconscious, head falling back. She puts him in a sheet of paper, a spell she has invented inspired by extension charms for backpacks. Then she hands the paper to him. He knows how to use them. Neji looks very confused.

"You can interrogate him within the order."

His eyes go wide. "But—"

"I'm in. I'll join. We won't get as much out of him as you will. But you better owl me, Neji. I won't let you chase enemies by yourself. I have six times your experience."

He smiles, then it falters. "Is that how you knew he was there?"

"He followed you. It's just something you tune into being an Auror for so long."

Because even though he'd be better at many things, defence against the dark arts still being one of them, there were some things he just couldn't pick up without practice.

"Was it all just for show?" he asks.

She shakes her head. "The easiest way to lie is to tell the truth. I can't fake a Patronus."

He pulls out something from his pocket. It is the silver ring with the same engraving she had seen others wearing, he included. "The shinobi order ring. It's yours to have."

Tenten stares at it for a couple of seconds. She slides it onto her middle finger, then smiles ina bittersweet thought. He notices her smile, he always notices the little things.

"What is it?"

"Before we broke up, I—" she pauses in consideration of telling him. Tenten stares into his silver eyes, curious. The wind makes his hair drift like a silk curtain, he looks like a painting. She decides to let the confession go. It's been a while. He should know. "I thought you had avoided me those years back because you were going to propose.

Neji is silent. She can see a hint of his blush even with such minimal lighting and to know that his face is red makes her smile, despite the anxiety in revealing her hopes to marry him.

"I would have, had we had more time, had Hiashi—I'm—"

She interrupts his stammering, however adorable it may be. "It's ok. I just hoped."

Tenten kisses him on the cheek slowly. His face is warm, her lips are cold, but she only allows herself a brief moment of lingering before turning away.

The end of the alley is still cloaked in dark shadows but she feels that it looks just a bit lighter. It is, maybe it is getting brighter. She sees a wisp of white, more ribbony in texture and flowy, yet stronger in opacity compared to her Patronus. Tenten holds her breath as the animal slowly comes up behind her—it's also a swan.

Tenten feels its proximity. The swan provides her with warmth, curiosity, intrigue. These feelings are not the feelings she is used to his Patronus feeling like. Usually, they are simply of content and tranquillity, sometimes even an exhilaration that makes her stomach tumble and makes electricity flow through her body. It's cast with a different memory, though cannot imagine which one.

"The first time we met. On the train. You bought me a chocolate frog even though you only had enough money for one. The person on the card was Tsunade, you told me she was your hero." he explains. "It's the only memory of you I don't feel guilty about. I'd like to try again. I—I would marry you any day. I would wait forever."

He pulls off the Hyuga Crest from his finger, presses it into her hand. It's heavier than anything she's ever held.

"I will," her voice comes out as a whisper. It feels too soon, but she has been ready to marry him since she was 17. "But me wearing this crest will really piss off your uncle.

"That's the intention,"

Perhaps even in the six years they had been apart, the two had been completely committed to each other already.

[raspberryfanfics]

Flame—NTmonth 2020 Day 19

Day 19 - Querencia (Spanish): A place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self. flame

during nejiweek, i wrote a poem in this style and enjoyed it, so i wrote another one in tenten’s perspective. read lavender fields.

by a flame you nearly look like a different person and sometimes sometimes i believe you are one

usually it’s a campfire you stare into it your gaze seemingly lost in thought your beautiful lavender eyes glow more warmly but you don’t look that much different

you keep watch and I try to sleep but sometimes i decide to glance up at you you catch my every movement and i know that however lost in thought you are you are never lost enough to be unaware of everything happening around you

but by candlelight oh by candlelight it is another story

because by flame of a candlelight i am close to you so close that my skin is touching yours and i can see those eyes and my reflection in them now i am the only thing you are aware of

your lips are parted your ebony hair is messier your breath is heavier than before i notice it easily i’ve been trained to notice it i’ve been trained to notice you

your hands slowly brush up my waist and they are warm your hands are never warm but they are today tonight just tonight you breathe heavily and your hands are warm and your eyes are on me

the light of the flame dances across your skin it’s beautiful the flame is beautiful but how can they be beautiful in the presence of you now the no longer beautiful light only tries to drink your beauty but they add to it rather

i am terrified to move my eyes any bit lower i’m afraid that i am not worthy enough to be in your essence to touch you with my body rather than my hands

it doesn’t cross my mind that you can’t feel me tremble i don’t know what i am terrified of maybe the power you have over me or the power i somehow have over you

because while i won’t let my eyes touch you i cannot stop my fingers from seeing your shoulders your chest your stomach

i can feel the flames one burns in me one burns in you every hesitation disappears i know what i want i want you and i guess i am selfish in that way

your hands grip my shoulder blades your hands have turned hotter and they are so large and they are so gentle even as they press me even close to you almost like you want me as much as i want you

but when we finish and my want rings louder than yours my breath comes quicker than yours it’s almost too much because somehow i feel that i am taking advantage of you even though you could hurt me much more easily with all my walls beaten down

you are the angel i feel like i have tainted you i have written my name onto your skin i am the only one to have and it feels as if i have robbed you as someone who was desperate to have something

yet no matter how much you say you love me more you breathe me more that i am everything i will never really believe it don’t take it personally

but if you want to convince me do i want you to make me believe that angels can love mortals as mortals love angels

your smile is wider than mine your arms hold me tighter not only i have fallen for an angel i have built myself a reality with one and you feel like a hearth you feel like a home

when you blow out the candle the light is gone everything is darker than your hair without the presence of the flame yet the flame between us doesn’t do so much as a flicker