#raynswers

[rayclubs]

Which tf2 merc do you think gets mischaracterized the least?

Good question! Let's do a rating.

In my opinion, there are three aspects to characterizing someone.

Facts - you have to get basic character backstory right. This includes all objective canon truths, events, and, well, facts about said character.

Behavior - you need to understand how the character acts, how their interpersonal relationships function, what they're like in their day-to-day life. This is the nitty-gritty of fanfic and fanart, this is dialogue, line-to-line characterization.

Integrity - you need to understand the character's core beliefs and principles, what their values are and how they view the world around them. This isn't something you can easily quote or point to as a mistake in fanfic, it's more of an overall idea of a character.

Each of these is going to be worth up to three points, with zero for terrible characterization that gets everything wrong. This would ideally total to nine points. I'll be awarding an additional bonus point for character interpretation that doesn't make me scream "he would not fucking say that". Let's go.

Scout:

His backstory is fairly simple. He has an absent father, half a dozen siblings, and a crush on his boss who doesn't reciprocate. People mostly get this right, except they also call him a virgin despite the fact he canonically lands the fried chicken queen, and seems to do it with ease. 2/3.

His behavior is also mostly portrayed accurately, in that he's loud, obnoxious, self-absorbed, and can be kind of a dick, though not completely without endearing qualities. The fandom is, admittedly, guilty of making him more insecure and self-conscious than he actually is, to amp up the drama. 2/3.

His core values, however, are completely off. The main interpretations I see of him are "depressed Scout", "homophobic Scout", and "baby Scout", neither of which is true to his character. This is a grown man with a force-a-nature complex. The homophobia is just projection and internalized prejudice, but that phenomena is too complicated for me to dissect here. I talked about it before and might make another post later. Anyway, 0/3.

Scout does not get a bonus point. He would not fucking say "poggers" but he would say "daddy-o".

Overall characterization score: 4/10

Soldier:

Very little is known about Soldier's backstory so there isn't really any room to be wrong about it. What we do know is also vague and unreliable, so it's open to interpretation. Given how little room for error there is, I'll give him a 3/3.

His behavior is completely off in most cases, often shown to either be overly aggressive or so dumb you start to question how this man functions in his day-to-day life. Canon Soldier has plenty of endearingly stupid moments but a lot of them can be read as deadpan jokes on the character's part, and many turn out to be secretly clever moments, such as him infiltrating the robot base with a goofy cardboard disguise. Likewise, canon Soldier has plenty of aggressive and mean moments, but he's not cruel and very clearly not a threat to his teammates, which isn't captured at all in fanworks that decide to go that way. 0/3.

Soldier's core ideals are mostly captured well, as in - yeah, he calls people communist as an insult in fanfics. I feel like he should mention God more often than he does in fanon, it's, like, one of the two ideologically meaningful things he ever talks about. The importance of "America" as a concept to him is mostly preserved but left unexplored. 2/3.

Soldier does not get a bonus point, he would not fucking say [homophobic slur] yet here we fucking are.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Pyro:

His backstory is nonexistent yet people still fuck it up. His technical knowledge is clearly extensive and impressive, as shown by the complexity of his weaponry - which, mind you, looks HAND MADE - but people treat him as if he's altogether incompetent and maniacally stupid all the time always. He also ran an engineering company for hell knows how long and people just forget about it because they're allergic to adults or something. God this pisses me off so much. I mean for fuck's sake, people act like his full job description is "Pyromaniac" and not "Pyrotechnician". I'm so tired. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization and dialogue is also completely off. People treat him as if he's INCAPABLE of communication, make him obsess over childish things he's only shown a moderate liking to in a manner that's borderline creepy and insulting, and take away his whole entire agency in everything he ever does. I will literally not give y'all a single point, you do my man Pyro so dirty. 0/3.

His ideology is complex and vague in canon, and I don't blame people for getting confused by such things as Pyrovision, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. In my time on Ao3 I've seen animal Pyro, cryptid Pyro, monster Pyro, alien Pyro, evil mindless maniac Pyro, incompetent baby Pyro, nonbinary Pyro (HENCE MY PROBLEM WITH THE HEADCANON, do you see how it looks next to all these other interpretations?) but I've rarely, if ever, seen competent adult Pyro with actual hopes and dreams and agency. 0/3.

Pyro does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "uwu" but he would say "fuck", let Pyro say fuck.

Overall characterization score: 0/10 are you fucking surprised

Demoman:

Oh poor lad what have they done to you. So, Demo's backstory is arguably the most detailed and fleshed-out in the entire canon. Too bad nobody fucking read it. Admittedly, in the recent years I've seen people mostly manage to remember he has several jobs and is overall a competent and successful man, but it's rarely - if ever - explored, I've seen exactly one fic where the author bothered to explore what one of his other jobs might be (and it was not a good fic for many other reasons, don't ask me for a link), and it honestly feels like people don't want to dwell on it? Like, they mostly mention it to fill a quota, y'know? Here, I'm not racist, I've acknowledged one of this character's achievements, leave me alone. Also the subject of him being fucking adopted as a kid never comes up. 0/3.

His day-to-day characterization suffers a lot because people think alcoholism is the most morally repugnant thing that can ever happen to a human being. This man honestly barely even has a presence in the fics he's in. Are you wondering where Demo is? Well, he wasn't there! He was BUSY! He couldn't come! There is a handful of writers who bother to write his actual inner monologue and point of view, and this point goes out to them only. Also there was a pretty good Boots and Bombs fic in which Demo was a dick to Soldier but then got better, and it stuck with me. 1/3.

His core character is fucked up by fandom because he's either all flaws or not allowed to have any flaws, and there's no in-between. Ever since I joined the fandom I've seen a lot of critique floating around, and people mostly seem to listen and realize they've been mistreating the man for long enough, but it created a whole separate problem of Perfect Demoman which is bland and boring. People don't want to write an offensive caricature but don't feel like fleshing him out either, so they just make him great at everything and never let him fail and grown in ways that are meaningful. Except that one fic I mentioned earlier, but I've already awarded a point for that. 0/3.

Demo does not get a bonus point. I couldn't find a meaningful example of bad dialogue because, like I said, he has no presence in any of the fics he's in. He would fucking say something.

Overall characterization score: 1/10 and honestly it's too generous on my part.

Heavy:

Okay so Heavy's backstory really confuses people. I've got like a dozen asks in my inbox when I called his father a revolutionary AND a counter-revolutionary. Wait till I call him a royalist, it'll blow your tits clean off. I don't feel like explaining the history of the communist regime in the USSR on this post, let's just say people are mostly faithful to canon but don't really "get" Heavy. 2/3.

His day-to-day characterization is plain bad. He's treated like a mother hen to the mercs when he's more of a stoic friend with a mean streak and a crude sense of humor. I think the main problem is the dialogue, people just can't give him the dignity of speaking in an intelligent manner. It's honestly also pretty bad in the comics. 1/3.

His core ideals are fine, if oversimplified. He's not a complicated man, he loves his family, his guns and his doctor. People rarely give him any more depth than that but it's not offensive to his character or anything. I feel like he should have more political opinions than people give him. I also feel like people make him way more protective of Zhanna's romantic pursuits, to a creepy degree. I mean, yes, he's annoyed by her marrying Soldier, and seems horrified for a brief second, but it's not like he's against it or anything, he's just kinda surprised? Anyway, 2/3.

Heavy does not get a bonus point because he would not fucking say "da". Pizda.

Overall characterization score: 5/10

Engineer:

Yeah people mostly get him. He's got 11 Ph. Ds. Some treat him like he grew up as an actual cowboy or something but most remember he's a nerd. I'd actually give all the points here because Engie's backstory is NOT complicated. 3/3.

His dialogue and day-to-day characterization is also okay, though people really mellow him down a lot. I had a bit in one of my fics where he said something like "let's teach those sumbitches how the real killin' is done" and like three different people commented on it saying they liked or were surprised by his mean energy. It's not even that mean, I think it kinda shows my problem with his interpretation. 2/3.

I asked about mischaracterization once and a lot of people replied "Engie is the most mischaracterized because people treat him like he's good but he's actually evil" which I think pretty much covers it? It's hard to write someone who is not implicitly strictly good or strictly evil. Engie treads this balance really well, I'm actually convinced his demeanor is not a facade, he is nice at times and mean when he wants to be. Fanon Engie can only be one of two things and neither is right. 0/3.

Engie gets a bonus point as an exception. I actually can't tell why, people just have his voice on-point. Is his accent and manner of speaking really that easy for you? I struggle to write him a lot. I think he should say "bitch" more.

Overall characterization score: 6/10

Medic:

People focus on the fact he lost his medical license more than on the fact he HAD a medical license in the first place. Other than that he really doesn't have a backstory. I dislike that people try to give him a sad one, I think he grew up loved and maybe even a little spoiled, but I can't fault others for not following my headcanons, so. 2/3.

His dialogue is the WORST because it's written phonetically. His goofy yet self-confident energy isn't captured well at all. The best I can put this is "people wife him" but it sounds kinda mysogynistic so really I'm at a loss. Submissivepilled breedablemaxxer. 0/3.

His core values are also all over the place. The complicated thing about writing Medic is that he actually doesn't come with pre-packaged drama. His backstory is vague, his demeanor is optimistic, his vibes are fun, and the worst thing that happened to him in canon was working with the classics for a bit - people amp it up to squeeze hurt out of it, which is fine, but not many people actually like going there. Thing is, fanfic writers aren't that good at writing drama when it hasn't been established before. They have to warp his character, make him edgy, self-conscious, or plain mad evil without redeeming qualities. I remember really struggling with my big Medic fic because I wanted it to be dramatic but had to put a lot of work into actually building up the emotion, because Medic is fine. He's fine. He's alright. He's fine. He's doing well. 0/3.

Medic does NOT get a bonus point, he would not fucking say "babygirl" and I'm not even sure if he would say "yass queen slay" I'm SORRY

Overall characterization score: 2/10

Sniper:

People mostly get his backstory right, probably because it's the most well-explained in the comics and it gets the most "screentime". It's also literally a Superman parody which is funny and memorable in concept. 3/3.

People can't find a good balance between stoic professionalism and social anxiety. I think Sniper is actually pretty simple, in that he's a little self-conscious which pushes him to actively better himself as a professional, but also makes him a little awkward so he comes across as standoffish and a little mean. He's a solid bloke that's balanced and feels real. Fandom has to go for the extreme every goddamn time with him. It sucks. 0/3.

People kind of get his drama, his relationship with his family and whatnot - mostly because a lot of us losers can relate, I bet - but, again, go for the extreme in making him anxious, whiny, and sad as a wet kitten. Unless it's a porn fic in which case he's an absolute freak that growls at people. I don't know what it is about Sniper that makes him so difficult to characterize. Manic pixie dream boy. Dark and moody lover love me like no other. 0/3.

Sniper does NOT get a bonus point because he doesn't say "cunt" nearly as often as he should. Also send me asks about my Sniper takes I want to stir up some shit.

Overall characterization score: 3/10.

Spy:

The only piece of his backstory we actually know is that he fathered the blight of the earth that is Scout TF2. 3/3.

His obnoxious and insufferable demeanor is mostly captured well. A lot of his portrayals aren't nearly as classy as people think they are, but that's because most authors are themselves proletarian, myself included, which is fine. Not many make the effort to pepper his speech with French words it would actually be natural for him to say, and blame it on the nonsensical complexity of the French language, but I'm not buying it as an excuse. 2/3.

His core values are off in regards to Scout - he's often portrayed as soft, mellow, overbearing, and critical of Scout's love life to either a comical or an uncomfortable degree. His fandom portrayal often also lacks the self-confidence he's demonstrated in the comics. Spy is not above strangling a man with a chain that holds the shackles around his ankles, he wouldn't consider it a blow to his dignity to fuck any of his coworkers either, come on. He's also funny and goofy but the fandom tends to neglect that. 1/3.

Spy does not get a bonus point because he would not say "perchance" but he would say "your mother".

Overall characterization score: 6/10

The final scores are:

Spy - 6/10

Engineer - 6/10

Heavy - 5/10

Soldier - 5/10

Scout - 4/10

Sniper - 3/10

Medic - 2/10

Demoman - 1/10

Pyro - 0/10

There we go! Pyro is the most mischaracterized, Demoman is a close second, and nobody is characterized well. Cheers!

[chikainowingbeat]

tag list!

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[rayclubs]

Which languages have your favourite words for "Bone", "Skeleton", and "Skull"?

NOW THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION LET'S SEE

English:

"Bone" - very nice sexual innuendo, fun to say, not crunchy though, 8/10

"Skeleton" - spooky scary but too many syllables, 6/10

"Skull" - very shaped, crunchy, succint, a solid 10/10

Russian:

"Кость" - a beautiful girl, very crunchy with a side of gambling, 10/10

"Скелет" - baseline, solid but lacks a spark, 7/10

"Череп" - interesting but ultimately unmotivating, 6/10

Romanian:

"Os" - yeah okay discount Latin, 5/10

"Schelet" - I don't like the "ch", it feels unnecessary, otherwise solid, 7/10

"Craniu" - what the fuck. 4/10

German:

"Knochen" - why is it "der Knochen", it should be "das" like all the other words that end in "-chen", 9/10

"Skelett" - the doppel-T is what really does it for me, 10/10

"Schädel"? - had to look this up, huge if true, top five things to call my beloved, 10/10

Feel free to suggest more, cheers

[rayclubs]

What’s one of your favorite fun facts about medieval battles that sounds like you’re making it up?

Okay so I'm no historian, I just love the swordfighting sport, so this is less "medieval battles were whack" and more "medieval battles as we reenact them today are whack". That said:

It's truly incredible how much of an asshole you're encouraged to be. I punch a motherfucker in the face with a buckler and he doesn't even get mad because it's a regular occurrence.

The most dangerous areas to get hit in - and something that gets you banned from tournaments if you aim there - are the back of the head, the back of the knee, the dick, and the foot. Everything else is fair fucking game. Neck is fine. Head is encouraged.

Fencers keep mixing left and right shin guards, bracers and spaulders, and I can picture the same exact thing happening five hundred years ago. "Sire, thou hast misplaced thy couters! The rondel must face outwards, not inwards!" - "Be quiet, knave! ...'Tis but my personal flare. Now hand me that falchion and begone."

Fencers keep asking each other to buckle and unbuckle their brigandines and honestly rampant homosexuality is but a natural consequence of this. A squire? In this economy?!

An archer once passed by me and showed me a special knife for finishing off the defeated foes lying on the ground. Hasn't talked to me before or since.

Sometimes your helmet will just get yoinked off your head and then you're dead.

Cannonballs don't explode on impact, okay cheers bye

[rayclubs]

BEHOLD: the pixel gumshoe from the AA trilogy steam point shop

[rayclubs]

Would you draw Heavy and Medic doing some kind of summer activity (swimming, chilling on the beach, hijacking an ice cream truck, eating ice cream, whatever, dealer's choice) together, please? :D

He's too old to be jumping around like that

[rayclubs]

give me your Sniper takes

Okay so there are two crowds of Sniper fans.

The first crowd believes him to be an anxious mess who has every mental illness. Their Sniper is awkward, insecure, depressed, touch-starved, that Sniper needs to be reassured, hyped up, defended în social situations. They often pair him up with Scout or Demo, who is a more social type - the latter, for the record, I think is a good character duo, though this is the wrong way to go about it. You'll often hear this crowd talk about "sopping wet kitten of a man" and amp up his childhood drama. În other words, they recognize that Sniper has social issues, and believe that a miserable depressed whumpee is the only natural outcome of this.

Then there's the contrarian crowd. They really dislike sad wet kitten Sniper, so they assert that no, he doesn't actually have any social anxiety or childhood trauma at all. They claim it's not in the comics (it is), they misinterpret his professionalism, they pair him up with Medic or Spy to show off how cool and macho he is in comparison. You'll hear them talk about feral Sniper, and most hardcore porn is written by them.

Then in the middle there's me, who has childhood trauma we don't talk about on this blog, and who is pretty socially anxious, yet very distinctly not a mess. I figure that there's more directions one's personality can take as a result of this baggage than is depicted in fandom. Basically, I think Sniper's issues made him kind of an asshole and that's okay.

He has insecurities, so he adopts a professional demeanor and silently judges everyone who doesn't. He's been ostracized în childhood so he doesn't have any experience in building and maintaining relationships. He's anxious so he says rude things to people and barks at them to leave him alone. He gets all tense and twitchy in a crowd and thinks it's the crowd's fault, not his own. Even when he's trying to be nice, he has so little experience and positive role models in his life that he can't help being a dick.

I call it the Raymond Clubs Theory of a Socially Awkward Shithead.

[rayclubs]

I know you've mentioned halberds. What other polearms have you been working with? Any bills? Bardiches? Poleaxes? Lucerne hammers? I'm deeply curious. Also what's the variety of sword types? :D

Good question! So we actually mostly don't train with actual metal weaponry against one another because we want to live long and healthy lives, and being bonked on the head with the halberd is detrimental to human existence usually. We train with soft - though admittedly not entirely painless, not at all - equipment. Is it a halberd? Well, that's what we call it. Could it also stand for a hammer or a two-handed axe? Sure, I mean, it's a stick with stuff on it. Weighed and balanced, but a stick nonetheless. It's a multitool of sorts. The technique is mostly the same across the board.

Another thing about our sport is that any kind of thrusts are forbidden. Only slashes are allowed. We wouldn't get much use our of, say, a pike, 'cause that thing is not made for slicing, only for poking. We don't do that.

Swords, I don't even fucking know, dude. We got one-handed and one-and-a-half-handed - I'm not calling it a bastard sword, that's a bastard name for a sword. We got Guts' insane fucking blade thing. We got plastic lightsabers and styrofoam Aragorn's sword that we don't train with, they're for laughs and choreography and shit. We got regular chambaras and like two weighted chambaras that hit like baseball bats. We got aluminium shafts and barbell bars and knives and axes and a gorgeous falchion that I'm deeply in love with. I don't even know, dude. I can't wait to go fight again.

[rayclubs]

Personally I am quite enjoying hearing about The Adventures of Tumblr User Rayclubs in Group Attacking Each Other With Medieval Weaponry, and only partially because I miss whacking my sibling with (toy) armaments

Thank you! I will continue posting about my adventures in the Attack Each Other with Medieval Weaponry Club until they whack me six feet into the ground. Yesterday I bonked a man on the head with a stick and he said "Great job!"

[rayclubs]

i cant believe ace attorney cuntified him

He is NOT serving are you joking me

[rayclubs]

You probably haven't even memorized the attack pattern of Real Human Women yet (this is a joke because women aren't real)

Okay now this is just mysogyny. Obviously women can attack in various ways, with no discernible universal attack pattern on the battlefield. They are terrifying foes worthy of respect and admiration, you dingus. You insolent fool.

[rayclubs]

Boner

That's not a pokemon

[rayclubs]

Vastly in agreement with your mischaracterization post. If things are truly this dire I might have to write some tf2 fic. I did have a question though. You mentioned heavy doesn’t say da. I thought remembered a voice line were he does say that, and with a quick check there are 5 in-game voicelines where he says da, which is why it sounded so natural in my head. I’d be curious if you had a thought here, and hope this doesn’t come off as contrarian.

I'm glad you asked, cause I really should've explained that better.

"Da" is Russian for "yes", Heavy definitely says it. I was making a joke there. The joke is that in a lot of instances in which he says it, it's at the end of the sentence, most often in questions. Like here:

If you do that in real life Russian, someone will probably respond with "pizda", which rhymes with "da" and means "cunt". It's very... How do you say this in English?

"What?" - "Chicken butt!"

But for grown-ups. So, yes, Heavy probably says "da", but not in the way Valve makes him. There's also a linguistic argument to be made here - "yes" is a simple word that he would not have trouble remembering and would not need to substitute with Russian. But the original post was definitely just making a joke about pussy, I'm sorry.

[rayclubs]

Could you draw your bodyguard OC outside of Admin’s office eavesdropping if that’s something they’d do?

They're allowed inside her office! They were the Admin's personal security so she didn't mind their presence at all. She kind of thought of them as a coat hanger or a very tall decorative plant.

He used to be such a normie back then. Not even a smidgen of lipstick. Heartbreaking.

Textless unblurred version under the cut.

[rayclubs]

gnc is short for girl named cock

✍️✍️✍️ gnc is short for girl named cock ✍️✍️✍️

[rayclubs]

In addition to the sentient garbage piles, the Pokémon world's version of New York also has this horrible little vulture baby I hate

Yes, that's a skull it's using as a diaper

A skull-shaped diaper is metal as fuck, give this man a handgun