#reason number nine hundred and eight four of why the doctor would love me specifically HFDSHGJKL

[dandyshucks]

idk what to call them but why are the doctor's assistants/passengers/guests/associates/etc SO RUDE about alien appearances. like girl that is AN ALIEN. of course theyre going to look different than a human. if i saw a guy with a bunch of tangled tentacles for a mouth and fish-goat eyes, i'd simply be cool about it. RIP to all the gals i've seen on the show so far but i'd be different.

[baejax-the-great]

Top Ten

Shepard x Garrus (T) 

 Read on AO3

~

Shepard limped into her cabin, the painkillers Chakwas gave her already wearing off. The doctor could heal a broken bone in ten minutes, but the ache lasted. On seeing Garrus sitting at her desk, however, she straightened up, ignoring the jarring pain. He already worried too much.

“I’ve been making a list,” he called over his shoulder, “While you were in the medbay.”

“Oh?”

He swiveled around in her chair. “Top ten worst moments dating a human.”

Shepard snorted and sat down carefully on her sofa, not flinching even once. “Lay it on me.”

Garrus dramatically cleared his throat and held the datapad in front of him. “Number ten. The second time she dragged me along to a rachni infestation.”

“Just the second time?”

He ignored her.  “Number nine. That time I saw her feet.”

She snorted again. There were probably people out there who would kill to see her feet. A holo of them would pay for an entire vacation.

“Number eight. That time she released a tank-born krogan onto a space ship. Alone.”

“You love Grunt! You have to admit that worked out. And you weren’t even there for that.”  

“He charged you, Shep. He’s got six hundred pounds on you.” Garrus frowned at his list. “Wait, scratch that. Number eight is Pragia.”

“Oh yeah. That planet sucked. What’s next?”

He cleared his throat again, standing up to pace around the room. “Number seven. That time she dragged me into a plague ward.”

Shepard tenderly stretched her leg out. It was really starting to throb. “You know other than that foot thing, these are all highly specific about me and not just, you know, humans. And I apologized for the plague ward. I didn’t think you’d catch it that quickly.”

“Number six,” he continued, “Noveria.”

She laughed. “You really hate the cold for that to rank so high. Remind me to get Kaidan’s mom to knit you a sweater.”

“Number five. The Ardat Yakshi temple.”

That temple was pretty before they blew it up. They’d certainly fought in uglier places. Shepard wouldn’t have ranked it so high, despite the part where a banshee held her in her hand and crushed three ribs before Garrus shot it in the head. Okay, she could see why it wasn’t his favorite.

“Number four,” he called from near the bathroom. What was he doing over there? “That time she threw a thresher maw at a reaper.”

Shepard threw her hands in the air. “Oh, come on.  Everyone agreed that was the coolest shit they had ever seen. And if we could make a gun that shot thresher maws, you know you’d be the first person to pull the trigger.”

He paused to consider that. It could work.  

Garrus shook his head, returning toward the sofa. “Number three. That time she willingly plugged herself into the Geth consensus.”

He placed a beer in front of her and sat down next to her. She cracked it open. She had a feeling she knew what was coming next.

“Number two. The Leviathan incident.”

She winced.

“Which brings us to number one, today, when you got out of our transport to face down a Reaper on foot.  What the fuck, Shepard.”

She took a long draft of her beer. She killed a Reaper today and liberated a planet. The crew was celebrating on deck three. Some boyfriends would have called that good enough.

Some boyfriends wouldn’t have been strapped into their transport, screaming at her as she jumped out the back. There was a reason she hadn’t looked at him before jumping. He would have looked at her like he did on Despoina, when she fell out of that atlas with a face full of blood.

“I would have put ‘locked down on earth for six months with no communication’ on that list somewhere,” she grumbled.  

“At least I knew where you were. Don’t even get me started on that time that you died.”

“We weren’t together back then. Doesn’t count.”

“Let me just scratch out the plague ward, then.”

He tossed the datapad on her coffee table while she took another sip of her beer.

“You hit the ground pretty hard in Rannoch.”

“That wasn’t ground,” she groused, “That was concrete.”

“How much pain are you in?”

“Less now that you’re here.”

“Nadia—”

“We got the bad guy, Garrus. What’s a broken bone here and there? They’ll heal, or I’ll get new ones. Better ones. Made of tungsten or something. We got the bad guy.”

“There are a lot of them and only one of you.”

Shepard couldn’t say she hadn’t had that thought before. That she didn’t stay awake thinking how a stray bullet or something as pedestrian as a shuttle crash could take them all out. That her top ten worst moments included Garrus, unconscious and unmoving for an entire firefight at Hagalaz, crushed under a pillar in the Collector base, his face blown up on Omega as he choked on his own blood. And those were all before the Reapers hit the galaxy.

She took another pull of beer.

“Yeah.”

She leaned against him, his arm coming to rest around her shoulder, and she just listened to the constant semi-audible humming of his body.

“Hey,” she said, “Want to know the benefits of having a turian boyfriend?”

“Sure.”

“He can pick me up and carry me to bed like it’s nothing.”

He laughed, but just barely. It was four steps from her sofa to the bed, and it didn’t bode well she didn’t feel like making them. He picked her up. “Well, I guess I’m glad to know I’m good for something.”

“I’ll let you know if I think of anything else.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. “Shep—”

“I love you, Garrus.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, “I love you, too.”