#refusing to commit to killing major characters is not a gripe I only have with Discovery

[youngpettyqueen]

I was writing last night so I didnt liveblog my thoughts on it but! I am officially all caught up with Discovery, until s5 premieres later this week. gonna discuss my thoughts below, so spoiler warning!

overall, I really like Discovery! I love the characters, I love the dynamics between all of them, and I think the plots each season have been fun. sure, some of them are a bit convoluted, but hey its Star Trek so I expect that

I think jumping 930 years into the future helped with some of the issues I was having with the first 2 seasons, in that it was really hard to see this series as a prequel. ive talked a lot about how while the writing and everything made it clear this was a prequel, it just didnt look like a prequel. now, it doesnt have to, and the writing isnt held back by having to be a prequel, so we get to see and do some really cool shit. the new species introduced were awesome, ive loved seeing the federation come together, ive loved seeing different species we already knew and loved but so far in the future. I think the choice to go so far into the future was, overall, a good one

I think my biggest gripe overall with Discovery is that so many characters just. dont stay dead. I think this was fine with Hugh, I thought how they did it with him made as much sense (as much sense as anything in Star Trek makes) and it was pulled off really well, and I was satisfied from a writing standpoint and from an emotional standpoint. with Gray it was... fine. it was well-explained, but a bit of a cop-out. still, fine. Book's made me roll my eyes. im sorry, his was stupid. here's why I think so

I like Book. im not super attached to him, but I like him. I liked the conflict with him in s4. and I thought his death was actually done really well. it was sudden, and jarring, but you also realized pretty quickly that yeah. it was always going to end this way. Michael did everything she could, but she was never going to be able to save him. for a brief moment we think maybe he's saved, and then he's gone. it was harsh, but it was good (lemme give a shoutout to Sonequa Martin-Green's acting again cause her crying is VISCERAL) and then its immediately undone because Book is miraculously saved by 10-C. so, now, on top of having a cop-out resurrection, we also have an established pattern of Discovery being unwilling to kill characters and keep them dead

this isnt true with every case, of course. Discovery has absolutely no problem with killing villains and minor characters, and even killing characters we're familiar with but who dont play major roles. but now that we've done this resurrection thing multiple times, its going to affect how I view s5 and any situation they present where a major character might die. the emotional stakes just won't be there, because im gonna sit there and think about how we've been here before, and its never stuck. ill have a hard time taking any of those situations seriously, because ill be wondering how theyre gonna bring them back this time

that said, im still excited for s5 and cant wait to see what it has in store. of the newer Treks ive seen so far, Discovery is definitely one of the better ones. its absolutely better than Picard. I have a hard time comparing it to Lower Decks, since theyre such vastly different shows, but ive enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed Lower Decks. from what we saw of the SNW cast in Discovery, im now cautiously optimistic that ill at least enjoy the characters in SNW, even if I have to deal with. another prequel

I probably won't liveblog Discovery s5 when I watch it, just to avoid spoilers. so, see yall when I start SNW tonight!

[crowsent]

Reaper At The Gates

Full disclosure, this book has 458 pages and I kinda cried on page 448 so this may or may not make sense because I am FUCKED UP right now. Page 448 has no goddamn diddly fucking RIGHT to be that emotional and Page 449 is fucking CRUEL. The page header. The fucking PAGE HEADER telling me which goddamn POV the chapter is in made my heart SAD and that shit should be illegal. Chapter LVIII had no fucking RIGHT and I’m suing for emotional trauma.

I am crying in the goddamn club right now. I am inundating this club with my tears and bringing about the second great flood because THIS FUCKING BOOK.

If you’ve been with me for ANY amount of time, you already know about this book because I started this book in the goddamn SUMMER of 2K19 and I only just finished today, on the day of our lord, February 10th 20 FUCKING 20. Took me a goddamn year to read this book and honestly?

Honestly I should have fucking finished this book earlier because HOLY SHIT.

The book is a rollercoaster that I got shoved on without a seatbelt or something to hold onto, then subsequently yeeted into a sea of emotions that hit me on the head like a fucking WARHAMMER. The author, Sabaa Tahir, is a goddamn sorceress. Her words are twists and turns and it is all I can do to hold on.

With every fibre of my being, from the pull of my muscles to the creaking of my very bones, I wish so so desperately to have copies of the first two books so I can experience them again. So I can start the journey all over again. So that when I read this FUCKING BOOK, everything is fresh on my mind.

It’s the third book in the Ember In The Ashes series and when I say that I am shooketh. This book swung for my goddamn kneecaps and went for my jugular.

It is painful.

Let me say this right fucking now that it is PAINFUL. The imagery is beautiful and brutal. The sentences are skillfully crafted knives that are thrown at me with precision. It is a thunderstorm that has long since been spotted but has yet to strike. Anticipation builds and builds and builds until you feel like you’re going to crack under the pressure. And then the storm comes. And you break.

This book is fucking painful. Characters I’ve loved, characters I saw laughing, crying, howling with hurt, characters that I’ve grown attached to, are subjected to so many things that I can’t help but feel for them. They are clay, Tahir is the sculptor, and I am the poor fool watching them get broken down to be molded again, hoping desperately that this time, this time, they’ll be fine.

It’s fucking painful.

And beautiful.

Because this book is a goddamn thunderstorm, and it finally struck. It set fires that burned down trees and houses, but lit up a dark night. These characters grow so much and I grow with them. My mind is constantly thinking with every page I turned, trying to find some comfort when the book offered me pain, trying to find the wounds when I am offered mercy.

The plot is strong. The characters are stronger. All three of the main leads are thoughtfully crafted. You can see into their minds when they speak. You can feel every beat of their heart when they act. You can hear their goddamn fucking souls crying out with every atrocity they face and witness and commit. And the villain? I pity him. I pity him and hate him and love him. The villain is not a force of pure evil. The villain is broken. And some part of me wants him to win. The side characters are no slouch either. That small snippet of Alistar made my breath hitch and my heart harden. And Alistar is one of the lesser side characters, not as prominent as Harper or Dex, but he was there and I was not okay. And Keris. Just. Keris.

And the best part is that ALL of the characters change. They grow, for better or worse.

I don’t think it’s for everyone because of its kind of sensitive content. War. Slavery. The brutality of mankind on full display. Pain and pain and pain with nothing to show for it. Failure and sadness and betrayal. Hurt that runs so deep it colours the soul. But if you can handle that kind of content, read it.

You kind of have to read the first two books, but the third one is worth it. The first two books are good, but this one is visceral. I felt empty when I finished, and I felt different when I finished. Not in any kind of profound way, mind you. This book didn’t change my life or anything, but it did change me.

It made me think of things a little bit too deep for my usual shitposting fuckall veneer. It made me think of life and death, of duty and sacrifice, of pain and love and of people. Not everyone is black and white. Even the darkest of souls, the most monstrous of monsters, the most ruthless, heartless, cruel, vicious beasts have some good in them. They can love and they can mourn. They can fight to the death for what they believe in. And even the kindest people, the ones with bright smiles and gentle hands, the ones who are sunlight on a dark day, can be capable of wickedness.

I don’t think about the duality of man that often. By that I mean never. On a subconscious, hidden part of me, I know that mankind is never black and white. Everyone is grey. Someone who hated you so deeply can love someone so much it aches. Someone you would bring the stars down for could be a hideous sinful creature. And this book brought that to the surface. It made me LOOK.

The series was always a little dark, but I underestimated how deep this cesspool of emotions ran. The line “Skies save me from the men in my life and all the things they think they know” did not, in any way, reveal just how much of a painful, beautiful, vicious thing this book was.

The prophecies made me wrack my head for an answer. And just when I think I have it in my grasp, something else gets revealed. “When the Butcher bows to the deepest love of all.” A love for kinsmen, for the Butcher’s people, for the Butcher’s family. And the Ghost? “The Ghost will fall, her flesh will wither.” When the meaning, the TRUE meaning of that line got revealed, I lost my shit. This book yall. This fucking book.

My only major gripe about it is how much it used the word “bleeding” as a swear word. Y’all call Keris “piece of shit human being” Veturia the Bitch of Blackcliff but y’all won’t let Laia of Serra say the word fuck? Okay. But we ain’t talking about that.

Fourth book is coming and boy fucking howdy I was not prepared for how much I want it. I want it so much I can’t put it into words. What I can put into words, somewhat, is how much I feel for THAT scene. You know. THAT scene. Spoilers for the three things that destroyed me the most emotionally below

What we are talking about, is Helene Aquilla. She deserved none of the shit that happened to her. My beautiful, beautiful daughter deserved none of the pain, none of the suffering, none of the tears and the worry and the strife she was given. My daughter deserves to be HAPPY goddammit. And what? First you subject her to emotional trauma by having Marcus torture her sister over and over. You poison Livvy and subject Helene to a terror so visceral and vicious that she blames herself for putting Livvy in danger even though it wasn’t her fault? You tease the Harper thing but then you take it away from her. Just like you take everything away from her.

How fucking dareth????? Helene deserves more than that??? Like the Harper/Helene ship has set sail and docked in the empty harbour of my heart. Their interactions are so goddamn GOOD and then you take everything away just like that. They kiss near the end of the book and all of a sudden, it’s gone. It’s nothing.

That moment in Navium? Where Helene was almost killed but saved at the last and final moment? The scene where Harper urges Helene to trust him, to let him carry some of her burdens, to allow Harper to see part of her. “Needing protection is not a weakness. Refusing to trust your allies is.” That quote ripped me the fuck apart. And I think it was this moment that the Helene/Harper ship truly and irrevocably burrowed within me. I will not let this go. I will, and I do not say this lightly, go down with this fucking ship. Even if it burns and drops into the bottom of the ocean as nothing but wasted wood, I will go down with this fucking ship because BRUH.

And Laia of Serra? First you have her captured. Then you have her see her people beaten over and over again. Then, and fucking THEN you have her discover her mother’s identity and the violence her mother has committed right before her meeting with Cook? You fucking do that shit?????? HELLO?????

That reveal destroyed me. Cook has been with us since the first book. She was something familiar. Amidst all the chaos and suffering, cook was the one single constant in the book. No matter how much the scene changed, or how the plot shifted, Cook was always there. Always present. And we learn that she is Laia’s mother. And THEN she fucking dies. And Laia has to live the rest of her life knowing that her mother had been so close to her, and she never noticed. Knowing that her mother died to protect her. Like nani the fucko was up with that??????

But you know what really hurts about Cook? What really hammers the rusty nail of pain inside my long-dead heart?

It’s the stutter.

For some goddamn fucking reason, when Cook said “You’re just like your f-f-f-fath-” I FELT that. Some part of me recoiled. I wanted to put the book down. Because while I knew that she killed her daughter and husband, I never had to actually KNOW that she killed her daughter and husband. That scene was impersonal. That scene was much like how Mirra of Serra snapped the necks of the people she loved. Quick. Painless. I did not know that she killed her daughter and husband because when that scene happened, Mirra of Serra was just putting them to sleep. But then she stuttered. “L-L-L-L-Lis.” “F-fath-fath” And she can’t say it. Because their deaths haunt them.

Because she killed them.

That was the moment it sank in for me. She is not Mirra of Serra. She is Cook. Because Mirra of Serra died with Lis. Because Mirra of Serra died with her husband. Because Mirra of Serra died long ago and this was the moment I realised it. “Curse this world for what it does to the mothers, for what it does to the daughters,” Helene said. I fucking agree. Out of everyone in the cast, the world took the most from Cook. I will never get over that.

But you know the one thing that really destroyed me? The one thing that made me realise that this book IS merciless and this book WILL shoot for a killing blow?

LVIII

The penultimate chapter.

The bitch of a chapter that took what’s left of my heart, raw and bleeding from the miraculous escape and alliance in the previous chapter, and just shattered it. It squeezed my raw, vulnerable, bleeding heart until it was nothing but dust.

Look at the chapter title.

LVIII: The Soul Catcher

Not Elias. The Soul Catcher.

He’s not Elias anymore.

Elias is gone.

He’s just the Soul Catcher now.

[nealdanderson]

I actually really liked Samus Returns. What were your issues with it? Also, there's always AM2R to fall back on. It's on the Internet forever, whether Nintendo likes it or not

I’m glad you liked it!I have a lot of issues with it, so prepare for a lengthy answer, haha. And just a disclaimer to everyone- I played through the entire game and beat it 100%, so no one can say I didn’t give it a fair shot. Since it is a remake, it can’t be judged as entirely separate from the original, so here goes. Spoilers ahead.1. It largely misses the point of the original. Metroid 2 for the GB is far from a perfect or even great game, but it is an ambitious sequel as far as tone goes. M2 is easily the most ‘horror’ feeling entry in the franchise, and it directly correlates to how to the game treats your objective and how the map is laid out. Metroid 2 doesn’t feel like a heroic quest- you’re playing a character committing mass genocide of a species incapable of intergalactic travel and as she travels increasingly downward through the planet, the more desolate, lifeless and lonely it gets. Upon killing the Queen and finding the Baby Metroid, it is a somber moment and retroactively, the most unique ending in the franchise(no thrilling escape sequence, no enemies…etc.). Samus Returns abandons most of these unique aspects and paints your quest in a generically heroic light, the darker atmosphere is completely done away with, and the ending is totally botched. These tonal problems may only be a problem to a few people, and may come across as nitpicks to many, but I think it’s worth mentioning. 2. The map and item placement doesn’t make for an enjoyable experience. The original Metroid/Zero Mission, Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion have maps that are designed in a clustered fashion, meaning that traversing from one major area to another and backtracking to get previously unobtainable items feels organic and convenient. Metroid 2 on the other hand has a directly linear path descending through SR388. Due to this linearity, the designers didn’t implement the backtracking for items that the series would go on to be known for. I know this is a criticism Metroid 2 often receives, but this approach makes sense given the game’s map design. Samus Returns instead tries to encourage more backtracking, but due to the map not being designed for it, it always feels tedious to go back and find these items(usually normal missile packs that are extremely useless so late in the game). The teleporters only further illustrate the lack of organic interconnectivity the map has and feel like a lazy solution(this is something AM2R handles much much better). Basically, Samus Returns tries to make the original Metroid 2′s map do something it was not designed to accommodate.

3. The enemies and bosses are extremely repetitive, boring and/or tedious to fight. This is definitely a valid complaint and massive oversight on Nintendo’s part–Samus Returns’ enemy variety straight up sucks, which is made more pathetic due to the fact that its 25 year old gameboy predecessor and even the NES original have way more. The parry mechanic is cool to start out with, but after a while, it really becomes the only way to dispatch of enemies, and it is used the exact same way every single time- wait for tell, parry, kill enemy in one hit.  The Metroids, well, let me say that they’ve always been the weakest aspect of Metroid 2- they’re boring, silly looking and really only serve to be an irritation. Samus Returns gives them a much needed visual facelift, but doubles down on how much of a chore they are to fight. Meeting a new Metroid form for the first time was pretty neat, but after fighting your 20th gamma, each fight taking longer than it should, it isn’t any fun. Each encounter is basically a tedious game of waiting for the Metroid to be parried, but if you miss that parry window, it makes the fight drag on way too long. And then to ‘mix up’ the experience a bit, the designers decided to have Gammas run away like cowards mid fight, only for you to play a very irritating game of hide and seek with the damn thing. The few bosses Samus Returns has aren’t that memorable or enjoyable, the robot in particular spends most of the time in a state that can’t be hit(like the Metroids), reducing the fight to being 90% running away and dodging. Ultimately, these boss fights and Metroid encounters don’t feel challenging and feel more like a test of patience.    4. The graphics are rather subpar or inconsistent and the overall aesthetic feels rather uninspired. Some rooms look really cool, while others are just ugly. Samus’ Redesign looks too edgy, haha. I love Super Metroid, it’s my favorite game ever made, but lately, most Metroid games just try to recycle moments, areas and music from it, and it really annoys me. Metroid 2 has a very unique soundtrack, but inevitably, they replace its tunes with more upbeat or heroic remixes, and and its worst, replace tunes with Super Metroid themes. 

5. Ridley. Why. 

—-

So yeah, I’m not saying I don’t like Samus Returns just to be a contrarian, I genuinely found the entire game to be a rather tedious and unenjoyable experience. I will commend the few things it does well- actually implementing different abilities in boss fights(like the spider ball), implemtning new uses for old abilities(spider ball+power bomb), the DS being a perfect fit for Metroid with its map and inventory screens, and the overall engine having a very solid and fluid feel.AM2R handled everything better, and the few things it misses the point of regarding the original Metroid 2, it still handles much better than Samus Returns. Just because AM2R exists and will continue to do so doesn’t make Samus Returns exempt from critique. Even if I thought that Samus Returns’ announcement was badly timed after Nintendo’s DMCA on AM2R(which was completely unnecessary, learn the difference between trademark and copyright), I was still excited that Nintendo, after 13 years, was finally making another 2D Metroid game.  I’m more just disappointed that the company who created this genre, a genre that may be more popular than ever, generally refuse to capitalize on it, and when they do, it’s a sub standard effort. I may be harsh to Nintendo, but they’ve objectively treated this franchise like crap over the past decade, and I have a very hard time trusting them anymore. To those telling me to ‘lol, calm down dude’, like, I’m perfectly calm, I was never planning on ever buying a switch anyway, but Nintendo should seize on the opportunity to mend fences with the gaming community outside of their devoted fanbase(I’m a Metroid fan, but I’ve never been what you’d call a Nintendo fan). Since I’ve never been a Nintendo fan, E3 is really the only gaming event I’m fully aware of, and I felt it was a wasted opportunity for them to even merely mention that Prime 4(which isn’t even it’s final title, lol) was still being worked on.   I highly recommend watching The Gamer’s Toolkit and Gamingbrit’s videos on Samus Returns, they illustrate the gripes I had with the game in ways more eloquent than I could.