Unbound
Summary: As a debutante during the Napoleonic Wars, you fear what you will face as the London season begins. You can only hope that love finds you before you end up bound to a marriage that will make you miserable.
Pairing: Captain Syverson x reader
Word Count: 9k
Warnings: Mild historical inaccuracies, Mentions of war and battle, Fluff, Slight Angst, Smut (Intercourse, Loss of virginity)
A/n: This story is based on this prompt from the lovely @brandycranby. She is an angel and a gem for waiting the length of time she has for this! I had honestly never read or seen much fiction from the Regency period so I had to learn a lot in order to give this one some substance. Such an interesting challenge to write romance with so many rules and restrictions in place. I hope I did it justice. (Patiently beta’d by @hauntedelation)
“Please, not so tight!” you complained at Sarah, the ladies’ maid who tended to yourself and your sisters.
“Your mother will ‘ave my head on a platter if you don’t look proper when the guests arrive this evenin’, Mistress. Let’s do as she pleases, for my sake, and I’ll sneak you some of the extra dessert after she’s abed, promise.”
You smiled at that. “You know bribery is frowned upon, Sarah. Although I will likely need it after simpering for our dear cousin...what is his name again?”
She cast you a disapproving look in the mirror. “Jacob, as you well know. Mind you watch the sass, Mistress. That man holds your future in ‘is hands.”
You sighed. Yes, he certainly did. After your father’s passing, without having any sons, his fortune was given under the management of a distant cousin from the city until one of his daughters was able to find a husband. Being the only lady of the house of marrying age, that responsibility fell to you.
Well, at least partially. You merely had to appear appealing to the eye and the sensibilities of society. The rest fell to your cousin to approve of whatever suitor found you desirable.
“It won’ be all tough company, anyway. The Captain is to pay your family a visit tonight as well,” she said with a small sigh and a dreamy cast to her face. “It’s a cryin’ shame if you ask me, to send all those ‘andsome officers off to war knowin’ half of them may not be comin’ back.”
The two of you shared a melancholy smile in the mirror. “Well then, Sarah, I shall endeavor to enjoy the company of a tolerable man while I have the privilege. At least the Captain won’t expect me to speak of such mundanities as table manners and dance rotations.”
Captain Syverson was one of your father’s company men, and had the unfortunate duty of delivering the news of his passing to your family. The two had been comrades in arms, and with a heavy heart, the Captain had made an effort to ensure your family was adjusting after such a loss as best he could, visiting regularly in your country home. You found you looked forward to his visits very much. He always had interesting stories and would even listen to your own. He never seemed to mind that you wanted to speak your mind, or dress without the restrictions of current fashion, much to your mother’s chagrin. He gave you the respect of always looking you in the eyes when you spoke, as though he were truly listening. The Captain was a landowner, though from the sound of it he spent very little time there, especially when not conscripted by the military for duty. A fair few walks in the countryside revealed to you through conversation that the world was far more vast than your existence had yet proven. Hearing his tales of war and merchantry, politics and foreign trade alighted in you a hunger for more.
Yes, you would make the most of what time you had left in the quiet country. At least some of the company would be nice.
“Dear, please. Do not take such large bites. A lady does not need so much, and I would hate to see your dress ruined if you were to drop any,” your mother chided.
“I can hardly tolerate all these silks and fripperies. How burdensome to be expected to enjoy a decent meal without ever spilling a drop on such fine attire,” you groused.
“Well perhaps my dear, if you were not to inhale your food like the hounds at feeding time, it would not be such a concern. Now, if you’ll please, Jacob and the Captain here are gracing us with their good company and I would appreciate if you weren’t to make their stay unpleasant with child-like complaints.”
Your cousin nodded along as she spoke, his stern expression turned toward his plate.
The Captain chuckled and aimed a warm smile in your direction. “It’s no unpleasantness at all. The lady has a point. I am a firm believer that a good meal isn’t to be wasted to proper manners, but to be heartily consumed with appreciation for its taste.”
Your mother pursed her lips at that. She wouldn’t allow herself to admonish a guest in her own household, but she was clearly having difficulty with the Captain’s support of your ill manners.
“Remember dear, when the season begins and you attend an event, that you represent our household, and your actions reflect upon our family.”
“Yes, Mama,” you replied, catching a wink from the Captain as he sipped from his drink. You looked down at your plate to hide the proper blush that colored your cheeks.
Your thoughts quickly turned dour after that. The London season. Where you would be introduced as a debutante, to be a ware on display to all the peacocking men who wished to find a wife. It’s not that you had no desire to find a good husband; you truly did. But to have barely a choice in your suitors? That was the rub. You knew it best to allow things to be done as they were arranged, but you couldn’t help but feel that whatever suitor was chosen would likely be some miserable stiff of a man, as obsessed with manners and society as your mother. You had no desire to rush away your freedoms. If it were up to you, you’d remain in the countryside, unmarried and menacing your mother’s sensibilities, at least for a few more years.
You sighed. But as it was, you had surpassed the usual age to do such things, and the time had come for you to participate in the events. Spared only a year of mourning for your father’s passing, this summer would mark a new journey for you. One filled with fine dresses and hairstyles, dances and gossip, and very little freedom.
“Your mother is correct, cousin,” Jacob stated. “Having taken on the role of managing your father’s assets, I do not wish to see them fall to the hands of a lowly man. I will be vigilant in my examination of any potential suitors, but that requires you doing your best to appear presentable.”
“Speaking of marriage arrangements, dear cousin, where is your own wife? A pity she could not join us on this visit. Will we meet her soon?” you asked with only the barest hint of animosity. The tone thankfully seemed to be missed by your mother and Jacob, but you caught the smirk of the Captain across the table in your peripheral vision.
“My dear wife does not have the stomach for travel, but she eagerly awaits my return to the city. You will meet her thusly.”
“What about you, Captain? Why do you not have a wife?” your youngest sister, merely eight years old, asked innocently.
He smiled at her fondly. “Unfortunately, I fear, with war on our hands, it would not be kind for me to take a wife. Life with a military man is not the easiest. Perhaps if this conflict with the French should ever end, then I may consider it.”
“Perhaps then you might also consider removing that ghastly beard from your face as well,” Jacob murmured.
He seemingly took no notice of the murderous glares from both yourself and the Captain at his comment, but it was to be noted that your cousin did not remain at the table for dessert.
Days before the grand departure that would lead your family to the city, you found yourself in the music room with your mother and sisters, fumbling through the steps of some fashionable, multi-partner dance that had you stepping on your own toes.
“Again, dear. You must hold yourself with poise. Chin up. If you keep on with this nonsense you won’t end up with a single man interested in writing his name on your dance card.”
You tried not to let your frustration show. You knew how important this was for your family. As much as you hated it, this was your part in securing your family’s fortune and future. If you were to do well, it could also mean helping your sisters when the time came for them to find their own match. As you watched your sisters flouncing arm in arm, curls adorned with delicate bows that bounced with each enthusiastic step, you resolved to do right by them, no matter how it pained you.
A scuffing boot on the wooden floor drew the collective attention of the ladies in the room. Your mother quickly smiled as Captain Syverson appeared in the doorway, dressed in his company uniform.
“Oh Captain! Come. Would you be so kind as to lead us in some of the dances? We are trying to practice, but it would be much easier to have a man who knows the steps to assist us!”
The Captain had the grace to look only fleetingly distressed, before entering the room with a small, warm smile directed at your mother.
“Of course, although I will warn you it has been some time since I’ve had the...pleasure. I will do my best. My lady?” he asked, extending a hand toward her.
“Oh no no, not me, my dear Captain. Please, lead my poor clumsy daughter first, she has much to learn.”
She then directed your second youngest sister, a mere 12 years of age, over to the piano, placing the proper music in front of her. Captain Syverson took your hand, the callouses on his brushing against your much softer skin. He then directed your other wrist until your hand rested upon his shoulder, looking down at you with kind eyes. His hand slid down to gently rest upon your side.
The first tinkling notes of the song began, and that hand placed gentle pressure against your ribs, directing you to step along with him as he moved to the cadence of the music.
You found it easy enough to follow along, and soon were enjoying the rhythm of the movement, smiling as you were whisked around the room.
“I don’t notice any clumsiness,” he remarked, “You move quite gracefully, though I imagine you haven’t had much need to practice out here in the countryside.”
“Yes, well,” you blushed at the compliment. “I certainly find it easier to follow the steps with a proper partner.”
Your mother’s pointed cough at your words drew a smile from beneath his bushy beard, causing you to giggle.
He studied your face fondly. “Don’t be nervous about the city. Beyond all the pomp and peacocking they are simply men, as anxious to be desired as any of the ladies are. I have seen what a fine lady you are, and I assure you, any man would be lucky to call you his wife.”
You let out an exhale, your fingers idly tangling in the tassels of his epaulette. “Thank you Captain. I’m less concerned about being desired than I am about being desired by the wrong man. I know I must find someone, but I would rather not end up a mantel decoration for some man with a fortune. If only I could marry a man with a taste for adventure, for learning. Someone with whom I could enjoy a lively discussion without the subject of my manners coming up,” you huffed out a small bitter laugh. “But as it is, I will do my best to marry properly for my family. To ensure my sisters may enjoy the privilege to do the same.”
He looked down at you with a melancholy expression in his eyes. “Duty does not always favor our desires, but we must make the best of it.”
The music drew to an end and he allowed you out of his embrace, bowing rather gracefully for a man of his size and stature, to which you replied with a small curtsy.
“Thank you for the dance, my lady. But now, I’m afraid, I must take my leave. I came to say goodbye, and to thank you ladies as always for your hospitality. I spoke of duty, and now it is time for me to fulfill mine. War is calling, and I am needed to lead my men against Napoleon’s forces. I wish you all the best with your time in the city. I will write.”
The unfortunate news of where the Captain would be leaving to left a heavy silence upon the room. Indeed over the last year the lot of you had grown fond of his company. Fear of what had happened to your father happening to the beloved Captain left you nervous for what was to come.
Bidding farewell to both your friend and your country home had you miring in melancholy the morning of your departure. You watched as footmen strapped your family’s belongings to the carriages that would carry you to the city.
You turned at the sound of Sarah calling your name.
“Mistress, I worried I would miss you before you left. I ‘ave somethin’ for you.”
“My dear Sarah, are you not to come with us to the city?”
“Oh I’ll be comin’, don’t you worry. Your mother would ‘ave a right fit if I weren’t there to squeeze you into your gowns all proper,” she said with a laugh. “Some of us servants will be a few days behind is all, we’ve the rest of the household to pack up, and your mother ‘as asked me to attend to the seamstress when I arrive to gather your dresses for the season. But never you mind about that. The Captain left a parcel for you, and I wanted to see that you ‘ad received it before you went.”
Thanking her, you took the wrapped package and pulled her in for a hug, not caring if it was proper to do so.
“Don’t be too far behind us. I will be begging for some decent conversation in the days to come, I fear,” you told her. She squeezed your hand as you turned and entered the covered carriage to wait for your mother and sisters.
Once seated, you unwrapped the parcel, unable to wait until reaching your destination. Inside was a book, the title imprinted across the cover reading Captain Singleton: The Life, Adventures, and Pyracies by Daniel Defoe.
Opening the cover, you found a folded note.
My lady,
I wish you happiness and safety in your endeavors in the city. I know you have apprehensions regarding your future role and the lessened freedoms that may come with it. I have no desire to speak against the wishes of your dear mother, and I know that you must do what is necessary for the security of your family, but in thinking of the fears you expressed about never knowing adventure in your life, I wanted to present you with this book. It may never compare to the actual experience of travel, but know that in reading the exploits of others, you may find a small satisfaction. And there are other forms of adventure in life than those involved in travel. Think of your activities in the city as that of a roving adventurer, seeking a great treasure that holds the promise of a satisfied life. Sometimes, as with duty, we must moderate our mindset in order to find happiness in our lives. If ever I wished I could do more, that time is now. I will write to you of my travels with the Army, of battles and politics, if you would be so interested.
Cpt. Syverson
Life in the city wasn’t so bad as you had pictured, but you quickly found that you were not wrong about the expectations laid upon you. Dinner parties, gatherings, and rather unnecessary celebrations of mundane things soon filled your schedule, and you found yourself longing for the peace of the countryside.
Your ribs creaked beneath your tightly bound corset as you moved through the motions of another complicated dance. Your current partner, James Arnold, was becoming a regular suitor, somehow appearing at each party and asking for a dance before the end of each night.
He was admittedly a poor conversationalist and thought rather highly of himself, but was easy on the eyes and came from a good family. A friend of your cousin’s, you knew from the tidbits shared that he was considered a proper landed dandy. Many of the other ladies in attendance stood in hopes that he might request a dance with them as well.
Especially a one Miss Patience Banfield. A debutante of fine breeding, Patience had been a thorn in your side for most of the season. Her commentary on your dresses and jewels was always just shy of snide. She clearly held an interest for James, despite her father attempting to steer her toward other suitors.
You sighed. If only he held an interest back toward her you might be spared the endless dances and bland niceties that he considered to be courting.
“Dear cousin,” Jacob spoke to you as the dance ended and you took your leave of your partner, “might I have a word?”
“Of course Jacob,” you replied, dreading whatever correction he intended to give. He drew you a small way away from the crowd, to an alcove where it seemed your mother was waiting.
“I have discussed at length with Mr. Arnold his intentions and it would seem that things are getting on rather well with you two. Given his social standing and family assets, I have given him my approval to court you. I rather expect, if things continue as they are, that he will propose and that you two shall marry by the end of the season.”
“Oh my dear! Isn’t this wonderful news?” your mother exclaimed. “To have you a proper husband by season’s end. Oh what good fortune!”
You smiled weakly at them both, your gut sinking. You hardly knew what to say or even think. You had known this was to come, but that did not lessen your anxiety over it. Mere months in the city and already your fate seemed to be sealed.
Through sheer effort of will, you lifted your chin and politely thanked your cousin for sharing the news. You were too numb to speak beyond that. The only thing on your mind was a fearful hope that your suitor was not so bland as he appeared on the surface.
To your great displeasure, it seemed your hopes were answered, but not in the way you would have liked.
James Arnold may have presented a bland, dandy appearance on the surface, but you soon learned that he had a streak for gambling and was something of a lush. Most attempts at conversation were met with derision on his part, and it became quite clear that he spent a great amount of his time, when he wasn’t publicly courting you, in the less savory districts of the city.
It was as if once your cousin had approved his intentions, he felt no need to reign in his playboy tendencies for appearances. You were nothing but a decoration for him to wear on his arm.
As you were this afternoon, it seemed. Your cousin and mother had planned a small tea to entertain some of the other families nearby. Not once during the conversations had anyone mentioned worldly events or anything other than social gossip. You sat stiff-backed in your chair throughout dessert, minimizing any movement to prevent further chafing of your skin by the restrictive undergarments you wore under your day dress.
You found your mind wandering, daydreaming of the sea depicted in the painting above the mantle. You had nearly forgotten where you were physically when a commotion broke out in the street below the window. Shouting could be heard from several voices, and the gathered party departed the table to see what was going on.
Reaching the front steps with the others, the shouts became more clear to your ears, and you could see many people standing in the street, waving copies of the London Gazette:
“Napoleon’s forces have been defeated at Waterloo! His remaining army has fled”
Immediately your blood pulsed in your temples, fear seizing your throat and causing your breaths to come in short bursts. The news was to be celebrated, but you had merely one thing in mind as your mind absorbed the announcement.
Pushing past those gathered, you approached the closest man rapidly and snatched the papers from his hand. Ignoring your mother’s harsh calls, you gazed upon its pages to see the Duke of Wellington’s dispatch detailing a great battle.
‘...The attack succeeded in every point: the enemy was forced from his positions on the heights, and fled in the utmost confusion, leaving behind him, as far as I could judge, 150 pieces of cannon, with their ammunition, which fell into our hands…’
‘...Your Lordship will observe that such a desperate action could not be fought, and such advantages could not be gained, without great loss; and I am sorry to add that ours has been immense…’
You read again, heart thumping in your chest, trepidation seeping into your bones as you could not find the answer you sought.
‘...without great loss...ours has been immense…’
You felt as though you could not breathe for fear. Making a weak attempt to claw at your corseted ribs, the papers fell from your fingers to the ground. Your vision blurred as your mind focused momentarily on the memory of the Captain’s kind face and smiling eyes, before a wave of blackness took you under.
“Mistress!”
A cold cloth pressed to your brow, dragging your hazy mind back to consciousness.
“Give space, maid. It’s a mere case of the vapors,” came an annoyed admonition. “My lady if you please. This is rather unseemly. Sit up, sit up!”
You felt light taps at your cheek, and your eyes focused on the face of your suitor, who quickly stepped back from you as you began to push yourself to a sit. He looked around at the gathered crowd.
“Well? What are you all doing? Get the lady inside to the shade,” he said, fanning his hands at the nearest men, who had the decency to glare at him, including your cousin. Jacob shook his head slightly before bending down toward you.
Annoyed, you made to stand, accepting only a shoulder for support.
“Cousin…”
“I can walk. Please, I just want to go inside. I would like to be abed now.”
Upon entering, you went straight to your room, where your mother tutted over you enough to make you want to scream, finally leaving you when Sarah promised to force you to rest.
“Sarah please, get me out of these damned trappings before I faint again.”
“You an’ I both know it wasn’t the bodice that ‘ad you swoonin’ Mistress,” she chided, fixing you with a look.
Once she had worked you free of the blasted stays and into a loose shift, she steadied you by your upper arms and eyed you with a stern expression.
“Nothin’ is confirmed yet. For all you know ‘e could ‘ave survived. It would be best not to ‘ave your cousin get a whiff of these notions, but I can ‘old them off until tomorrow. You’ll be expected to play pretty again soon, so shed your tears today and give your heart a rest.”
You gave her a hug and nodded. “Thank you, Sarah.”
She bid you goodbye, closing the door firmly behind herself.
And so you did as she advised, weeping for the likelihood that you may never see the Captain again.
Two weeks had passed since the news of the end of the war, and many more celebrations were planned on short notice. The gentry threw their extravagance on display and spirits were high. You were tied into every manner of gown you owned and your mother assured you every time that she knew Mr. Arnold would be proposing marriage soon.
Not that the formality mattered. Your cousin seemed to have his plans for you all in order, informing you of the pin allowance he would demand on your behalf and drawing up plans for the dowry he would offer to his friend.
You were surprised at his efforts, and managed to thank him for them, despite your melancholy mood. You could barely force yourself to simper and smile, moving through the motions that were expected of you while inside you were a churned-up mess of emotion. You kept your ears perked for any news of the troops.
Your mother took pains to chide you whenever your poise faltered, but you knew the uncertainty affected your family too. No one spoke of the events of the end of the war within your home, though the rest of the city was abuzz with news of Napoleon’s abdication.
You sat with your mother and sisters in the family drawing room, practicing your needlework, when Sarah burst through the door, hair wind-blown and a smile on her face. Her smile quickly faltered when she noted your mother’s expression at her outburst.
“Please excuse me Mistresses. A letter ‘as arrived,” her cheeks colored in excitement as she finished, “A letter for the young Mistress...from Brussels.”
You immediately stood, your eyes seeking the letter in her hands, your needlework falling to the cushions as you reached for it. She immediately handed it over, unable to completely disguise her own happiness on your behalf.
“Mama, what is Brussels?” your youngest sister asked.
You didn’t listen for your mother’s reply as, with letter in hand, you rushed up to your room, locking the door behind yourself so as to not be disturbed. Throwing yourself to the bed, you ripped open the sealed wax and unfolded the paper to observe the thick, uneven scrawl that you would recognize anywhere.
To my dearest adventurer,
I pray this letter finds you well, and that you are safe and happy within the city with your family. I write to you after a most arduous battle, the likes of which I have not seen during the entirety of my career.
His writing further elaborated on the detail of the day at Waterloo, the bravery of his men and their opposition, the losses and victories his company experienced, and the aftermath on the field. Your heart clenched and relaxed in measure with his recount.
I must thank you, though you were unaware, for were it not for memory of your friendship and kind heart, I fear my fatigue might have overtaken me in those critical moments of battle. Knowing that the outcome of this war could affect your life and comfort one day gave me the courage to ride hard with the charge where I might otherwise have quailed.
You would have laughed, knowing the Captain would never actually sacrifice his bravery and duty, but you were occupied with the compliment and his confession that you were on his mind that day.
I will endeavor to visit you in the city soon, when our work here is done, and I have paid visit to those families to whom I must bring news of men’s passing in valor.
With care always,
Cpt. Syverson, Esq., 2nd Regiment of Life Guards
The relief coursing through you in knowing the Captain had survived the battle was sufficient to buoy your mood for the next week. You weren’t aware until your third reading of the letter how desperately you had been seeking that reassurance that he was safe and whole. The way your heart filled with light to experience the jagged scrawl of his writing and the open retelling of what must have been such a difficult day had you aware of feelings you previously weren’t sure you were capable of.
You had always known that you felt a certain affection for the Captain. But this? This...longing for the presence of another? For his presence in particular. This felt deep and beautiful....and dangerous.
For despite your newly realized feelings for the Captain, you were arranged to be paired with another.
August dawned in sweltering heat, and yet another party was underway, and this time you were to attend knowing your fate was promised to a man you dreaded being in the company of. The only consolation you found this day was that the event you were attending was to welcome home the officers of war who took part in the last days of the battles against Napoleon’s troops. You hoped one of the officers might have news of the Captain.
After refreshing with a drink and taking a turn about the room to cool yourself, you happened upon James entertaining a lively conversation with his fellows about the epic battle in which the fate of Napoleon’s reign was decided.
“I heard their troops were absolute ninnies, fighting like frightened women. It took none but a look and they were turning tail,” he laughed.
“But that’s simply not true,” you said. “I was told they led a fearsome charge and were more in number, but the decisive factor was that our troops had more length of tenure on the battlefields. That is how they were able to coordinate to best them despite the smaller number of men,” you continued, remembering the words in the letter from the Captain detailing that historic day. You found the recount compelling, and recalled the respect he had shown for the opposing force’s skill.
James eyed you dismissively, glancing between yourself and his fellows almost as if embarrassed. His lips then pulled into what was likely supposed to be a smile but turned out very much more like a sneer.
“My lady. While your beauty astounds, I fear your wits do not. There is no need to trouble yourself over a political discussion between men.”
Your cheeks flushed crimson, and you lifted your chin at the insult. “How would you even know such, Mr. Arnold? It is not as though you’ve ever made the effort to find out.”
You could hear him sigh as you quickly departed, attempting to quell the threatening tears. “Fragile creatures, these fine ladies. One would rather seek out a discussion in the Covent Garden than have to concern oneself with their sensibilities some days.”
You could hear the chuckles of his mates at your back as you fled the room.
Your mother called after you, but you hadn’t the sense to listen at that point. You knew you were being unseemly with your emotions. You couldn’t help it. Your heart was simply too sensitive to continue the charade of accepting a man who could be so dismissive and unkind.
As you turned the corner into the gardens, not looking at your path, you ran face first into a solid chest of muscle adorned with medals and a leather bandolier. Firm hands steadied you by your shoulders to keep you from faltering. Looking up, you instantly forgot your troubles as your eyes met the kind blue ones that you had so often found yourself thinking of over the past months. It took all of your mannerly training to restrain yourself from hugging him right there in front of his fellow officers.
“C...Captain?”
“My lady? What has you so distressed?” he asked, brow crinkling in concern.
You quickly wiped your eyes, sniffling a bit and straightening your posture.
“Oh it’s nothing of note. My apologies for appearing so unseemly. What a pleasure to see you! I read all of your letters. Please, you must tell me more of the battle at Quatre Bras.”
He eyed your features and you knew he could see right through your light conversation to the very inside of your aching heart. As you could not beg aloud, you pleaded with your eyes for him to play along.
“Of course, my lady,” he said, extending an elbow toward you. “Allow me to take you on a turn about the gardens, that I may regale you with a tale of battle.”
You took his proffered arm and allowed him to lead you through the hedgerows, in sight of others at the gathering but far enough away from any ears to be heard. It was several minutes of silence before either of you spoke again.
“It has been some time, my lady. How are you faring in the city?”
“The city is lovely,” you began. “My mother and sisters quite enjoy it.”
He placed his hand over yours. “That is not what I asked.” His eyes searched yours. You felt overwhelmed by how easily he saw through you, and cast your eyes downward.
“My dear Captain,” you began, fighting to keep your voice steady. “My cousin has chosen a match for me.”
His eyes moved to train on the gardens before you. No emotion crossed his face, but a muscle in his jaw twitched.
“He wishes us to be married by end of season.”
He was silent still for long moments after your announcement. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded stripped of emotion, but he attempted a small smile for your benefit.
“Then it would appear congratulations are in order.”
Why did it hurt so much to hear those words from his mouth?
You began to feel emboldened by bitter emotion. After all, you were standing with the closest friend you had ever had. The only man you knew that would understand the sadness in your heart at the thought of being so miserably caged. “They hardly are, Captain. This is not my choice. It is not a thing to be celebrated, but to be tolerated. You and I both know I may be playing dress-up as a proper lady, but I do not have the heart of one. I will follow his wishes because duty demands it, but for no other reason. You yourself spoke to me of duty. I know it is important to abide it—“
“Is he kind to you?” he interrupted.
“I—. What?”
“Is he kind to you? Does he listen? Does he make you happy?” Color appeared on his cheeks as he spoke, belying his anger.
“I…”
“Is he good to you? I need to hear you say it.”
“He is not a brute, if that is what you mean, Captain. But I cannot answer honestly if I were to say he was kind,” you stated, tears again threatening.
He looked to your eyes again, his own fierce. “Then forget anything I told you about duty, my lady.”
He squeezed your hand once more before giving a small bow. “I must take my leave momentarily. I will find you again by sunset, and I will ask of you a dance.”
And with that, he turned and strode back toward the manor.
After walking the gardens at length to allow time to contain your writhing emotions, you returned to the manor house to find your mother.
“Oh my dear! I wondered where you had gone. Come, walk with me. Have you seen? Our dear friend the Captain is here with his company men.”
You smiled weakly at her. “Yes, Mama. We have spoken. And I am to meet him for a dance shortly.”
“How fitting that you might have a dance in the company of the man with whom you practiced before the season started. A good teacher, that man, despite how he bucks tradition so.”
“That he is…” you murmured.
The two of you rounded the corner into the gallery, paintings interspersed amongst the curtained alcoves.
“Mama…” you began.
“What is it my dear?”
“When you and my dear father were courting, did you ever worry that you would be unhappy as a wife?”
“Never my dear. Your father was a wonderful man, as you well know. Kind and thoughtful, sensible with his money. Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that...this all feels so unwelcome. Like I must be saddled upon some man instead of allowing love to make the match for us. Mama...what if…” you could hardly force the words out for fear of your admission.
“Mama...what if I am to marry this man of my cousin’s choosing, when I may well love another? How am I ever to be a good wife, when the love in my heart lies elsewhere?”
Your mother looked in your face for a long moment before speaking. “My dear daughter, who is it you speak of, and why did you not say something before?”
“It does not matter now, mother. I simply—“
Your words were cut off by a giggle nearby. The illusion of privacy shattered, you looked about the room to see who may be present to witness your trepidation, but no one was to be seen.
“Mama, did you hear that?”
“I heard nothing, my dear. Are you feeling alr-”
Another, sharper giggle cut through the air. The curtain to the left of you shuddered with movement.
“Mama?” you asked, moving closer to the curtain, realizing as you thought further about the invitees to this particular affair that this was certainly not just some errant child playing where they should not be. Just as you reached the curtain covering the alcove, the Captain rounded the corner into the gallery.
“My lady,” he addressed your mother with a beaming smile. Surely his countenance had not changed so swiftly? “So lovely to see that you are well. I had come to find your daughter, that I may request the dance I was promised.”
“My dear, do come see that the kind Captain receives his dance, yes?”
“Of course, Mama, Captain,” you answered, about to turn toward them when the sound of a harsh whisper filtered out from the curtain. Unable to contain your curiosity, you reached out, swiftly drawing the curtain to the side. What met your eyes not only shocked you, but drew an offended gasp from your mother as well.
For there, in the hidden alcove, was none other than Miss Patience Banfield, entangled in the arms of your betrothed, his face buried in her exposed chest and with a hand nearly entirely up her skirts. You gasped sharply, the sound echoed by the sound of the Captain’s decorative sabre being drawn.
“My lady,” he said tightly, stepping up next to you and drawing you behind him as he pointed the tip of his weapon at Mr. Arnold. “Have your mother go fetch your cousin. I think there may be something he needs to see.” The venom in his voice apparent, the two offenders made attempt to draw away from one another. The tip of his blade at James’s throat stopped any further movement from the man, though he allowed Miss Patience the modesty of covering herself. Your mother’s footsteps could be heard hurriedly exiting the gallery, returning quickly with your cousin in tow.
“My God. Mr. Arnold, have you no shame? No honor? To think I nearly promised a woman of my family to you!”
With your back now turned to the lovers in an attempt to preserve some modicum of modesty, you silently scoffed at your cousin’s attempt to berate his friend. As though the man had no idea what a scoundrel he was. Only then did his words register in your mind.
“Nearly, cousin? Does that mean…”
“It means there will be no engagement! No contract with this man. I would never bring shame upon you like that. Besides, there have been...other...discussions today. You needn’t worry yourself over it.”
“Other discussions?” you began, feeling indignation that there had been more decisions about your life without your knowledge. “I dare say I do need to worry myself over it! If this is the type of result, cousin, then I happen to be very worried indeed! I think I have every reason to question your judgment this day.”
By the time you had finished admonishing your cousin’s judgement, other attendees had begun to filter into the gallery to witness the scene laid out before them. Gasps and whispers could be heard trickling through the room as the Captain finally sheathed his blade. Patience was sobbing in the alcove, and, while you detested the girl, you felt deep pity for her in her shame. To have her honor so publicly and blatantly ruined, and by such a reprobate. How nearly you had been missed by that runaway carriage.
The Captain turned to you. “My lady, do not fear more consequences of another’s judgement. For this day, it is only mine you must respond to. And you will have free will over the decision.”
Your eyes searched his. What could he mean?
“I have already discussed with your cousin some concerns over the prior arrangement, which it would appear were well-founded indeed. I have asked for him to consider an alternative...and for his permission to propose to you my desire for marriage. I ask of you to be my wife, if you will have me.”
His wife? The Captain? Your heart soared. You found not a hint of hesitation when he looked to your eyes for your answer.
“Yes. Yes! I will marry you. I love you, of course I will have you,” you nearly spluttered your answer in your haste to make it known.
His eyes softened, a smile growing on his face as your statement sank in. Conversation buzzed around you as the ladies and gentlemen in the room began to gossip, but you paid them no heed, your eyes trained on his. You had nearly forgotten about your own family’s presence until your cousin cleared his throat.
“Yes, well. A contract will need to be drawn up. And there is the matter of her dowry. We will need to settle upon an agreeable number.”
The Captain looked his way, clearly annoyed at being interrupted in this moment.
“I don’t need a damn dowry,” he growled. “I’d marry her if she was penniless. We can discuss the particulars of the transfer of her father’s assets, that I may provide care for her mother and sisters, but I don’t need any incentive to want to marry this woman. Her kind heart and inquisitive mind are more than enough reason, and her beauty an addition that makes her a dream to behold.”
The following weeks were a whirlwind of commotion you had not expected to ever enjoy. Despite the desire you knew your mother had for a grand affair of a wedding, she managed to simplify the celebrations to meet you in your desire for a more quiet and relaxed gathering.
You said your vows to the Captain in a sunlit garden with none but your sisters, mother, cousin, and Sarah in attendance before (surprisingly) enjoying the small but still beautiful party held in celebration. Several of the Captain’s men were present to congratulate you and it brought you joy to see what high esteem they held him in.
In the end, a decorated carriage arrived to take you to his estate in the country, where you would honeymoon before learning your new role as lady of the house. His home was elegant yet simple, with open land surrounding it for miles. It was perfect.
But not nearly as perfect as the man who carried you across the threshold and immediately to his rooms.
Setting you down, he kept his hand at your hip, eyes meeting yours, bright with happiness.
“My lady. My wife. Never did I think I would be one to say such a thing. With the war, I had resigned myself to not even think of it as a possibility. The end of the conflict came so suddenly, and to find you yet unwed when I returned to London...I cannot describe my relief.”
“Nor I, Captain. I thought my life to be over. Nearly wed off to that wretch of a man. But now see where we are. You and I, together. I could not be happier,” you said sincerely.
“I dare say I will accept that as a challenge, my love,” he said with a rakish smile under his beard, leaning in for a searing kiss, before murmuring words against your lips, “Starting right this very moment.”
You had heard whispers of what went on the night after a wedding, but now here you were, faced with the moment of discovery. You nearly shook with the nerves of it, but were more than grateful to be sharing this moment with a man you trusted.
Noting the slight tremble of your hands, he placed one in his own before speaking. “You once let me lead you in a dance when you did not know all the steps. Will you give me the honor of leading you once again?”
You nodded, squeezing his hand.
“Yes, Captain.”
Your permission was all he needed, taking his hand from yours and drawing it back to your waist to pull you close. His lips met yours again, warm and hungry. His other hand slid to your nape, tilting your head to further his access to your mouth. He slid his tongue along the seam of your lips, and you opened for him, allowing his tongue to dance with your own.
Once he had kissed you thoroughly breathless, his lips changed course, running softly along your jaw and neck, his beard leaving a delightful burn on your skin as he explored your collarbones and ran his tongue along the dip between them.
Your legs grew weak with his ministrations and you gripped his shoulders for support, feeling a growing wetness between your legs. You could hardly think for the passion he was igniting inside you. Sensing the effect of his actions on your body, he pressed a thick thigh between your knees to steady you, while his hands began an exploration of their own. The feeling of his palm caressing your clothed breast forced a gasp from your lips, followed by a mewl as his other squeezed the back of your thigh. You felt as though you might combust from the mix of sensations. You’d had no idea the simple act of his touch could create such fire in you.
“Please,” you managed to whimper out, to which he responded with a pleased hum. He reached for your dress, loosening the fastenings and allowing it to drape to the floor. He stood back to admire you, his eyes adoring and making you keenly aware that you had never been so bare in the presence of anyone but your ladies’ maid. Before your arms could rise to cover your underclothes, he pulled you closer to him by your wrist, his other hand reaching behind you. His fingers began to pull at the strings, loosening your stays. Every breath panting from your lips became easier as they slipped free.
Until they stopped.
“Damn these ties,” he muttered as his fingers struggled to unlace your undergarment. After a moment of frustration, he finally growled out a command, “Turn around.”
You complied, and over your shoulder could be heard the metallic unsheathing of a blade. You gasped sharply as his knife cut through the remaining ties, finally freeing you from the blasted thing as it fell to the floor. Returning his blade to its sheath, his hand came to rest on your arm, turning you to face him.
His hand trailed from your collarbone down the valley of your breasts before sliding to circle your nipple. A feeling like a jolt of electricity traveled through your body at the touch, and you moaned quietly. Your eyes left his trailing hand and took in his own very clothed form.
Timidly, you reached up and began to unbutton the fastenings of this jacket, pushing it open and over his shoulders. Drawing his hands away from you, he hastily removed his undershirt, exposing his firm chest littered with dark hair and scars of varying sizes. You couldn’t help but touch, feeling a magnetism to mimic the way he had been exploring your own body minutes prior. As your fingers moved downward, nearly to the line of his belt, your vision snagged on the prominent bulge pressing against the white fabric of his trousers.
Curiosity drove you to continue your journey downward, the tips of your fingers brushing softly over the mound, feeling an ardent pulse below the fabric. His breath caught on a moan, and he grabbed your wrist once again.
“Not yet, darling. Allow me.”
And with that, he quickly divested you of your remaining skirts and undergarments, picking your bare form up and placing you gently onto his bed. He then stood back, removing his boots, belt, and trousers in quick succession, until his own nudity stood on display before your eyes.
Every thick, virile inch of him.
But he did not allow you a moment to feel anxiety over what was to come, as he climbed into the bed to hover his form over you, kissing you deeply and thoroughly enough to have you once again panting and dazed.
“Look at me,” he said, his thighs pressing your own wide, lining himself up with your entrance. “This may hurt, but only for a few moments. Are you ready for me?”
You nodded, barely breathing out the word “yes” before he began to press in. His eyes remained trained on your face as his girth stretched your opening, pressing forward slowly, watching for your reactions. He leaned in to kiss you just as a sharp pain split through the pressure, causing you to gasp against his lips. He pressed forward further, until he was seated fully inside you, then stilled.
Moments later, the pain had ebbed, replaced by a throbbing want as the feeling of fullness settled into your being. Your hands found purchase around his broad back, and you pressed up toward him. It was the signal he’d been waiting for, and he drew back his hips, before thrusting forward once more, the action drawing a moan from both of you.
He moved to kiss at your neck and chest as he slowly increased his rhythm, drawing from you sounds of pleasure and surprise. He took a nipple in his mouth and he thrust harder, the change in sensation rocking a shudder through your body. On instinct, you wrapped your legs behind his and began to lift your pelvis to meet his with each thrust, causing him to groan against your skin.
Fervent with lust now, his pace increased even more so, his vocalizations rising in volume. His movements pulling gasps from your throat, you felt warmth gathering inside you, tightening to a focal point as his groin pressed against your apex with each thrust. It felt as if every fiber of your being focused on that point, as though you were being driven by his push and pull to fall from a precipice.
And fall you did. As he rocked against you once more, you felt your body tighten, your focus shatter, and your vision turn white. You cried out, clenching around him, gripping onto him as your world melted away in waves of ecstasy. The feeling of you clutching him close, of your walls squeezing his girth, was his undoing. With a few final, deep thrusts, he growled out his orgasm, filling you with his warm seed as his breath shuddered out of his lungs. His arms holding him above you relaxed as his pleasure slowly ebbed, and he lowered himself to the side, drawing you with him, still seated inside of you.
He pulled you close so that you could rest your head against his firm chest as his breathing slowed.
“Are you alright?” he questioned.
You lifted yourself on an elbow that you might see his eyes.
“I am more than alright. I had no idea…”
He smiled at your loss of words, raising an eyebrow.
You laughed. “I suppose it’s no wonder the fashion is to keep us ladies tied up so tightly and pristine. If that is what I am to expect, I fear I shall never wear my undergarments again.” You immediately blushed at your own silly proclamation, but he only smiled adoringly once more.
“My love, you will never find me telling you how to dress. You need not ever fear my embarrassment over your chosen attire, or lack thereof. Only joy at your freedom. Now that you are my wife, you may live your life as you please, unbound, and free to experience any adventure or pleasure that you wish.”
You watched his face, wondering if you had misheard him. But you knew in your heart that you hadn’t. This man, the man you loved, would never constrain you to a life bound by expectations and manners.
With the surety that you had ended up exactly where you belonged, where you wanted to be, you lay your head down on him again. You finally felt happy, free, unrestricted. Content to finally experience the life you dreamed of with the man at your side, you closed your eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep in the safety of his arms.
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