#reid.moot

[umesakus]

🎶 w/ satoru, kaiser, sunday <3 ?

OOOOOH OKAY THIS IS A GOOD ONE i literally have playlists for all of these guys asdofjodsf i will have to try and pick! thank u so much for asking!!!! ❤️

gonna put most of it below the cut because it's a monstrosity. sorry. i'm already intense but like especially when music is involved lol

🎶 pick a song lyric that you associate with your selfship and explain how it relates!

satoru — from covet by basement

When I'm with you, I don't wanna be with you White hair and a hopeful smile Your inside is on your outside I need a pleasant surprise

i can't help but always wanna come back to this song for him. it came on one day when i first started selfshipping with him and it just... clicked really hard. i'll break it down below:

When I'm with you, I don't wanna be with you

the beginning of our relationship was very wishy washy. it was a fwb sort of situation that he kinda wanted to push further, but i wasn't convinced he could be serious about anything. so while i certainly enjoyed being around him, i also... didn't. LMFAO. like. i had this feeling i was just giving him temporary hits of happiness yk. so it was somewhat bittersweet for me. i would look at him and be happy but that happiness also became a weird resentment on my end.

White hair and a hopeful smile

he'd look at me after we had soul-fusing sex with an almost giddy, childish smile, hoping that i'll be in love with him.

Your inside is on your outside

in these moments he's being his most true, vulnerable self with me. his walls have been broken down and he's briefly showing this desire for a love he's never had before but always wanted.

I need a pleasant surprise

i need him to show me that this is real. that this is sustainable. that i'm not just his manic pixie dream girl who makes him feel special before he ultimately fucks off and leaves me in the dust. because i DO care about him. a lot. but i'm not going to set myself up for something that's going to fuck us both over.

michael — from songbird by fleetwood mac

it was so hard to choose from all the songs in our playlist LOL but i think this one really speaks to a certain depth in our relationship:

For you there'll be no more crying For you the Sun will be shining And I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right

To you, I'll give the world To you, I'll never be cold 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds are singing Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before

we're basically saying this back and forth to each other. i'm saying to him like "you're so precious to me, i'm giving you all this love i know you've never had before, please accept it" and he's saying back to me like "okay... i'm going to accept it. and i'm giving it back to you as best as i can, because you make me feel like it's alright to love and be love like i've always wanted."

and we're like a pair of birds singing back to each other about this love that is maybe a little strange but ultimately feels intuitive. like we know the score deep within ourselves and each other like how birds know their songs. or whatever.

sunday — from blade of grass by lady gaga

AND NOW FOR SUNNY BOY!!! our playlist is absolutely flooded with gaga tbh. but here's a good section of the song that really fits us:

Lovers kiss in a garden made of thorns Traces of lonely words illusions torn You said how does a man like me love a woman like you I said hold me until I die and I'll make you brand new

Come on and wrap that blade of grass Around my finger like a cast Cuz even though the church burned down I'll be your queen without a crown I've been so lonely in this field Fighting a battle with no shield Come on and wrap that blade of grass And we'll make it last

i'll break down some of the pieces:

Lovers kiss in a garden made of thorns

this fits perfectly with sunday's thorn imagery and how it sorta symbolizes him being held back or holding himself back. like we're kissing in this thorny garden because he doesn't know how to let himself enjoy love of this caliber, or with someone like me.

You said how does a man like me love a woman like you I said hold me until I die and I'll make you brand new

i am NOT the kind of person sunday would ever really envision himself being with. but he's still drawn to me for whatever reason, and is constantly confused by it. but i'm like... just let it go. set yourself free. embrace this time with me and maybe we'll make you a newer, happier version of yourself.

Cuz even though the church burned down I'll be your queen without a crown

sunday's had to leave his old life behind. his faith kind of got "burned down" or at least, the old version of it he used to be so tied to. this leaves him feeling rather lost, but i'm like "hey, i'll help guide you on this new journey with us! i'm nobody special or divine like you—just a trailblazer on the express, but try and put a little faith in me!" and we wouldn't be like a traditional little pairing getting married in a church or w/e but we can still be something

Come on and wrap that blade of grass And we'll make it last

take the leap and find a new life with us. with me. metaphorically wrap a blade of grass around my finger like we're getting married or something. it's kind of silly, but maybe it'll help set you free and make you dedicated to forging a new path of happiness for yourself, with me along for the ride. we'll take it one step at a time, but we can make it last if that's what you want.

selfship asks