#remylover6969

[analiavs]

Valentines Day Headcanons for the Goon Squad

Remy

The girlfriend he uses as a beard either gets the ultimate valentines, that he's going to use as content for his tiktok. Or he forgets and gets her wilted roses.

His centuars and favorite bull are the true winners on vday. Suddenly everybody gets a hands on grooming session and all the apples they could eat.

Bailey

Has no valentines and makes it everyone else's problem. If you stand close enough you can get psychic damage from his pining. Don't let him catch you enjoying life or a valentines. He pretends he doesn't care, but very clearly does.

If you check the likes on his priv its just valentines day hate posts.

Briar

Loves it, one of his busiest days. All the loneliest losers show up. Schedules special shows throughout the day. Personally doesn't celebrate it. He's pimpin' folk out, he'll never fall for a hoe. Maybe drinks a big bottle of wine, and watches himself in the mirror in some red lingerie.

Eden

If he doesn't have an unlucky spouse DO NOT go in the woods on Valentines day. If he does have a spouse, does nothing for valentines day, because he "doesn't believe in it". If his spouse gets him something his present is dick... but they were probably getting that regardless.

Wren

Usually has a valentines, if not hangs with his boys. Strip poker with the boys 🫦

Zephyr

Handsome swashbuckler probably takes someone on a date on his ship to watch the sundown. Something something because of the implication. If there's a raid on valentines day he might seduce the other captain.

Harper

Schedules his favorite patients appointments. Might have a couple dick appointments too. Definitely brings Quinn his sperm bank proposal

Quinn

Denies Harper's sperm bank proposal. Has a date with his favorite tentababydad at the end of the night. He might have the most romantic night. Fancy dinner, tentacle massage, sex. His tentacles are special

Edit: just like he is on valentines day I forgot Leighton

Has no one. Tries to blackmail people into going on a date with him, but it’s valentines day. Special shout out to his dog person, they’ve got it ruff.

[analiavs]

My headcanons on Remys appearance and a lil personality

I feel like Remy has a mullet with frosted tips or the top dyed blond.

Idc what canon says because wtf is pale brown 😩

No facial hair or has a sharp pencil stache.

Has a variety of cow print outfits. Genuinely thinks cow print looks amazing and matches his aesthetic.

Besides that dresses like a stereotypical rich person cosplaying as a cowboy. Like when middle class people pretend like they’re lower class.

Also has a lot of designer. Just as vain as Briar, but has manly appearances to uphold. Hopefully someone will be able to fuck the toxic masculinity out of him.

Green eyes of course. Glimmery when he’s happy, watery when he’s emotional/throwing a tantrum. Long eyelashes.

Blushes easily, turns red when angry/embarrassed

Strong af ofc, but strength is waning due to age. More on the leanside rather than bulky. But don’t underestimate him.

Starting to transition towards more on developing a cult of personality with his herds rather than forcing their obedience through overt displays. But his true personality comes out the second he has to deal with a disobedient cow/bull 😂😂😂

Shortest one out of the gremlin squad.

THICC. His ass is fat.

His dick is small-average. (I love me a good penis size difference)

Small hands and feet.

Sensitive nipples, they kinda large (+insecurity) get swollen when he’s lactating